Rest Is Part Of Grieving

In this episode,  we discuss how your  body can only carry grief for so long before it starts sending louder signals. 

We talk honestly about what it feels like when you’ve been pushing through loss for weeks, months, or years, and the exhaustion is deeper than being overwhelmed. It’s the kind of tired that lives in your bones and your nervous system, and it’s telling you to stop.

Again we widen the lens on what counts as grief: the death of a loved one, the loss of a pet, estrangement from family, the end of a role you held for decades, a career that didn’t work out, or the life you expected to have. 

No matter what form it takes, grief asks for time, space, and gentleness. 

Rest is not a luxury here. It’s a health decision.

Together, we walk through a practical idea: a real 48-hour break. That might mean calling in sick, taking vacation days, or protecting a weekend. We get specific about unplugging beyond social media, setting boundaries, delegating, and finding options even if you have kids, limited help, or a demanding boss.

 This episodes also explores simple self-care that can calm your body: a long shower or bath, low light, soothing scents, music, journaling, or doing absolutely nothing.

If this resonates, listen and  don’t hesitate to share if someone comes to mind. You never know what it could mean to them.

Please consider leaving a review so more grieving people can find the support they need. 

Holding space,

Frances

The Caring Death Doula

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Transcript

You Are Not Alone In Grief

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Thank you for joining me today. I want you to know that if you're grieving today, if you've been grieving all week, all month, maybe longer, maybe you've grieved one thing and then something else comes up. Something else hits you, another death of whatever kind. Because as we've talked about before, grief and death comes in so many different forms and varieties. So whether you're grieving a pet a loved one, a dream, a role that you had for twenty years thirty years, eighteen years the life that you thought you would live. Whatever you're grieving, whatever you have been grieving, I want you to know you're not alone. I see you I do and I want to encourage you that there's gonna come a time when it's all too much, when you've kept getting up every single day and doing what you have to do, what's required, or what you think is required of you. But there becomes a time when your body is screaming at you, and you have to listen. If you don't listen and rest. And when I say rest, I don't mean necessarily sleeping. It may include sleeping, taking a nap, taking two, three, four naps in a day. But there comes a time when you your body is screaming at you, when your life is demanding a stop and a rest. Now, unless you're a single

When Your Body Demands A Stop

SPEAKER_00 2:22

parent and you have littles, you can take a stop. It may mean taking calling in sick at work or taking two vacation days. But there are times when you just need to stop. You need to stop forcing yourself to keep going, to keep taking care of others. It's a time when you need to take care of you before you end up seriously ill or

Taking Time Off Without Guilt

SPEAKER_00 3:01

in the hospital. It's a time to do absolutely nothing for anybody else. And don't let the guilt or the shame or the pressure get to you. Just know that grief has been so hard on you. And you have given so much that you are at the point now you can't give anymore. You cannot give anymore. And yes, you could keep forcing yourself to give and to give. But you're gonna pay for it. And so I want to encourage you to take a day, take two days. I know I'm taping this on Friday, and so I have the weekend. And I know this comes out on Monday, and so maybe you can't take a day or a two-day, 48 hours just for yourself, to do what you need to do, to fully unplug from everything. And I'm not just talking about getting off of social media, I'm talking about unplugging from anything and everything. You let your family and you let your friends know if you're comfortable doing that, that you're taking, you're taking a rest and you will

Planning A Real 48-Hour Unplug

SPEAKER_00 4:38

not be available. If your children are older or grown, or if you have a partner, they can they can manage. They may not like it. But they can step up and they can manage. Because if you were in the hospital, they would be stepping up because you wouldn't be there. Ask for help, delegate. Those are things that we need to look at, we need to deal with, but not today. Today, I want you to look at the next two days. Can you take a 48-hour break? Or do you need to wait until Friday and do it over the next weekend? But for your own sanity, for your own health, for your own mental health, emotional health, physical health, and I would even say spiritual health for your whole being. And you know it. You know if I'm speaking to you today. Because I was ready this morning, I was ready to get up and to just make myself just buckle up and do what I needed to do. Stop putting things off. Stop being overwhelmed. Because it's not, it's not just overwhelmed. It's so much deeper than that. Your soul is so tired. Your soul is grieving so deeply. And that may have to wait until the weekend because I know some of you have bosses that are like, you know, you can have three days off when your spouse dies, but then I need you back to work. You can you can work from home, but you got to give us half a day. I know. I've heard those stories. I know that's what happens. So for you, it may have to be the weekend. But do you remember when you just stayed in bed? You just laid around, you watched a movie, you read, or maybe you did absolutely nothing. Maybe you journaled, maybe you listened to music, but maybe you did nothing.

When Work And Life Won’t Pause

SPEAKER_00 7:37

And it recharged you enough to be able to do what you had to do, which was go back to work on Monday. But I want to I want to encourage you to be free to do this, to somehow make it work. And I know sometimes it's easier to say this than to do it, because there's so much pulling at us. There's so much pulling at us. But grief is hard. Whether you have just gone through a loved one dying, or it's been months or years, or maybe you're estranged from some family members, whether it's your parents or your children have decided that they will have nothing to do with you anymore. You can't see your grandbabies because they've made some decision based on something you've done or haven't done. Whatever your grief is right now, know that I'm holding space for you. And I encourage you to take care of yourself however that looks.

Many Forms Of Loss Count

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Be strong and take those days that you need. Whether they fall on the weekend and you have to wait for the weekend, or whether you can actually do them the next two days. But I want to encourage you to take care of yourself because nobody's gonna come to take care of you. No one's coming to rescue you, no one's coming to help you. You have to be strong. You have to be strong enough to realize that you need this time. And if you have littles, you're gonna have to work around them. If you don't have family or friends that you could say, hey, I need two days to myself. If you have a partner, perhaps if the finances allow, you can go check yourself into hotel for two days. That would really guarantee that you are totally left alone. Whatever you need to do, whatever you can do, do it. Because you can't give from an empty cup, from an empty body, from an

Rest Options For Parents And Solo

SPEAKER_00 10:14

empty mind. You can't keep going forever. And if you absolutely have no one, and you have to work your time of resting in between taking care of the littles, it can be done. It is harder, but you matter so much, and you matter so much to those littles, to those little precious children, so that if you aren't taking care of yourself and something happens, who's gonna be there for the littles? Who's gonna be there for your precious children? So I'm asking you to take care of yourself. Put yourself first in the way that you can. Right now, today, tonight, if possible. Take that long, soothing bath or shower in the dark, in candlelight, with any kind of salts or herbs that you can put in, fragrances that you can put into your bath or into your shower. Anything that's going to calm and soothe your soul and take care of you. Grief is so hard.

Simple Self-Care That Calms

SPEAKER_00 11:55

And it's so hard on multiple dimensions. And sometimes we feel like we're carrying that grief alone. Because in a way, you are you're carrying your love for the person, for the animal, for the dream, for the life, for the career. You do have to carry that love and that hope alone, but you do not have to carry your grief alone. I am the caring death, doula, and I am here for you.