Holiday Grief

We remind you that grief is yours, and nobody gets to judge how loud, how long, or how often you feel it. 
We talk through why holidays can hurt, how to ground your body when your mind won’t settle, and how to show up for someone who is grieving with simple care. 
• grief has no right way, no timeline, no finish line 
• love and grief as intertwined realities of being alive 
• Fourth of July memories and why holidays can intensify grieving
• joy on a holiday is allowed and is not being disloyal 
• body-based coping when rest and focus feel impossible 
• grounding with senses, fresh air, warm drinks, soft textures 
• movement as release, including dancing to shift your state 
• practical ways to support a grieving friend without fixing them 
• making it easier to talk about grief, life, and death 

If this resonates with you, listen in, share, post a review. Let’s help others find the comfort & support they need. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Thank you for joining me today. If you are new here, thank you. I want to just remind us it cannot be said enough that your grief is your grief. And no one can tell you that you're grieving too much, you're grieving too loud, you're grieving too often. You're grieving wrong. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There's no timeline. There's no end to grief. Grief is the reflection of your

Grief Has No Rules

SPEAKER_00 1:22

love. Whether it's a love for a person, a pet, a relationship, a circumstance, a dream. It's all yours. Love and grief is intertwined. And grief with death and life is intertwined. That's what makes life. We can't escape it. We can't ignore it. We can't stuff it down. And here in the United States, we are having our Fourth of July celebration this past weekend. And I just want you to know that during the holidays, it can be hard. Whether your person died on the holidays or you just miss them. Maybe they made the holiday fun. You know, I know for me, my dad, he made the 4th of July fun. You know, my parents would have a party, we would invite, you know, lots of people over. We would have the cookout. We lived on a lake pond and there would

Holiday Joy With Grief Underneath

SPEAKER_00 2:31

be swimming. There was, we had a canoe, there was the volleyball net. It was just fun. And then in the evening, when it got dark enough, we would shoot off fireworks. My dad would have gone um out of state to get fireworks. And then the neighbors across the lake would the lake pond. We called it a lake, but it was more of a pond, even though it was not a like a circle of a typical pond. But anyway, the neighbors across the lake, they would they would also shoot off fireworks, and it was just so much fun. It was just so much fun. And so 4th of July for me is is just very special. It was just uh a fun, happy time. And so alongside of us enjoying the holidays as they come up each year, the different holidays throughout the year, we can laugh, we can have fun, but there can be underneath there a reminder of our loved one. There can be grief. Maybe you lost a pet, and as the fireworks go off, you remember how your pet used to hide underneath the bed or howl or whatever they did with the fireworks. And I just want you to know that it's okay. You're not being disloyal if you have fun on the holiday. There's nothing wrong if you can't have fun this year, can't enjoy the holidays this year, or you just kind of make yourself get through it. It's okay what you're feeling. And I know from time to time I've gotten on here and I said, you know, I want you to listen to your body and rest when you need to rest, cry when you want to cry. It's all a release, it's all good. The tapping, the deep, slow breathing. But I know that sometimes for some of us, it's hard to listen to our bodies. There's just so much that our body is saying, there's so much that's spinning around in our mind, and maybe we can't focus on resting or breathing

Grounding And Gentle Self Care

SPEAKER_00 5:05

or listening to our bodies. And maybe you just need to do something that's gonna bring you a little happiness, and that's why I recommend going outside for a walk, or just even cracking the window to listen to the sounds. Take the time to observe three things that you see, four things that you hear. Can you smell anything? Are you wrapped up in a super soft blanket? Is your hot drink just gliding down your throat so soothing, so settling? Maybe you need to get up and move. Maybe you need to have a dance party. Get that dopamine flowing through you. Whatever it takes, I want to encourage you to take care of you. This is your grief path. No one can tell you how to do it, that you're doing it wrong in any way. But I want to encourage you not to dismiss anything that you hear on how to move through or with your grief, the love and the grief wrapped up. Say your person's name out loud, shout it out loud. Cry, wail, scream, pound a pillow. Whatever you need to do to release. There's movement, there's release, there's breathing, there's feeling, there's resting. So I just want to encourage you today. It's okay. I'm holding space for you. I see you. You are not alone. Yes, there are parts of this journey that we do have to go alone in. But if your love is present I just really hope that my my podcast touches you in some way, encourages you, supports you, helps you in some way. And if you're just listening so that you can learn how to be a supporter, I hope I hope there's been ways that you can help someone. Maybe stop in and bring them their favorite drink. Maybe ask them to go get a cup of coffee, ask them to go for a walk. Let them know that you're running to the store and just can you pick up anything for them? Sometimes it's just giving them the space they need. But let's

Showing Up For Grieving People

SPEAKER_00 8:27

think of each other as we're celebrating any of the holidays that any of the countries may be having coming up here during the summer or just even summer. Summer is such usually such a fun time. There's reunions and picnics. Let's be there for each other. Let's make it easier to talk about our grief, to be accepting of each other's grief. To talk about life and death. This is the caring death doula, and I am here for you.