Grief Intertwines with Life

Grief doesn’t politely wait for you to be ready. It shows up after you’ve had a “good” stretch, after you’ve checked the boxes, and sometimes right when you think you finally have a handle on it.

 I’m honest about why I’m late getting this out and what it’s like to be hit by grief waves that come from different losses and different angles. 

I talk about a reframe that has helped me survive the hardest moments: grief is a thread of our lives.  It comes  from love and hope. We don’t mourn random things, we mourn what mattered. That truth can soften the shame that often tags along with bereavement, especially when grief brings messy feelings like anger, resentment, judgment, bitterness, or the struggle to forgive ourselves.

 I also explore a less-discussed kind of mourning, grieving who you no longer are after someone dies, when a soulmate, companion, or long-time partner is gone and your identity feels broken into pieces. 

Most importantly, I hold space for a reality many of us live every day: we can carry sorrow and pain at the same time we carry kindness, compassion, laughter, and joy. It’s all intertwined, and learning to live with grief is often a one-day-at-a-time practice. 

If this resonates,  share with someone who needs it, as you may not ever know what it meant to them. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Good morning, dear listeners. I am late at getting this episode out. I have really been struggling with my own grief recently. It seems like I feel like I have a handle on it. I do well. I get a podcast episode out. I do this or I do that. And then something hits. Something from a different angle, something from a different loss. And so I want you to know

A Late Release And Real Grief

SPEAKER_00 1:23

that I'm here for you. Even in my grief, even in your grief, we can be here for each other. Because that's one of the main things that I want to get across to you. Is that grief is part of our lives. It's the love that we have for somebody. It's the hope of a situation, of a relationship, of a dream. Whatever your grief, however it is, however it is contained, however it came to you, it's from love, it's from hope.

Grief As Love And Hope

SPEAKER_00 2:22

It's from you. It's part of your life. And we can't escape it. You're gonna always miss the person. You're gonna be hit with grief waves, and we just need to learn how to keep going, how to understand that we can hold grief and sorrow and pain at the same time that we can hold and carry love, compassion, kindness, happiness, joy, laughter. It's all intertwined, it's all together,

Holding Pain Alongside Joy

SPEAKER_00 3:15

it's all our life. It's what our lives, it's the thread of our lives, it's what makes our lives. So I hope that is something that I I've gotten across to you in in these episodes. Grief is so hard. Grief hurts. Grief brings pain, judgment, resentment, anger, bitterness, struggles with forgiving, beating yourself up. So much. Grief brings so much. But it's always going to be there. It may dull, it may get better if I say it that way. I don't know if I like to say grief gets better.

The Hard Parts Of Grief

SPEAKER_00 4:19

Because for some people, depending on what your grief holds, how much love, how much time with that person or that situation, you can even grieve who you no longer are. Did you know that? Because if you've been with a person for years and years, and you've had experiences, and you've you've had the joys and the sorrows, and you and you've done life together, and then they die. And you're left with the pieces, wondering, how do you go on? This was your soulmate. This was your lover, this was your companion, this was your fun, spontaneous partner, this was your honory partner. How do you go on?

Grieving Who You Were

SPEAKER_00 5:21

And I just want to encourage you that we can go on. But it does matter. One day at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time. You do matter, I matter. We need to stay another day. We need to just learn how to carry this love and this grief, the joy and the laughter, the sorrow and the pain and the tears. So

One Day At A Time

SPEAKER_00 6:02

hang in there. This is your life, and it is good. This is the caring death dealer, and I am here for you.