Sometimes Grief Needs Permission

Grief doesn’t just hurt, it can silence you, numb you, and make the simplest parts of life feel heavy. 
If you’re mourning someone you love, I want you to hear this clearly: I see you, and you don’t have to pretend you’re okay. We make room for the real emotions that show up after loss, from tears to anger to denial, and we talk honestly about how numbness can linger longer than people expect. 

I also share a fresh, personal experience of loss and the surreal feeling of thinking, “This can’t be real.” That disbelief is more common than most people admit, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing grief wrong. Because every relationship holds different dreams, love, and memories, there’s no fair comparison, no universal timeline, and no “right” way to grieve. 
The goal isn’t perfect healing or to fix  anything; it’s to honor what you feel and take the next small step. 

To make this practical, we walk through a simple nervous system tool you can use anywhere: box breathing. You’ll learn how to inhale, hold, exhale, and hold again in a steady count, plus a visualization technique that helps you stay anchored when your mind is spinning. 
If you’re looking for grief support, coping skills, and a gentle reminder that your experience is valid, press play. Subscribe and share this with someone who needs it. You never know what it could mean to someone. Consider leaving a review so more grieving listeners can find this space.

This is The Caring Death Doula, and I am here for you, holding space. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Thank you for joining me today. If you're grieving today, I want you to know that I see you. I'm holding space for you. I know how hard grief is. I know how hard it is to let people know you're not okay. How hard it is just to do the things that you need to do every day. I want to encourage you to cry if you need to cry. I want to encourage you to feel whatever feelings you're feeling right now. And I know at the beginning you're numb. You could be numb for a whole year, possibly

Holding Space For Your Grief

SPEAKER_00 1:22

even two years. Because remember, all of us have different loves. We have different dreams. We knew and loved different people. There's no way to compare our grief. Because we're all different. Our love, our lives are different. So I just want to encourage you to grieve the way you need to, to feel whatever you're feeling, whether it's anger today, whether you need to cry, whether it's denial, you still may be denying it. I know it's so hard. My brother-in-law

Why Grief Looks Different For Everyone

SPEAKER_00 2:01

died January 30th. And sometimes I sit there and I'm like, it can't be real. He can't be gone. So I want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm holding space for you. And I want you to take a moment today and cry if you need to cry. And I want you to slow down your breathing, be very conscious, be very intentional with your breathing. If you know how to do the box breathing, then try that. And that's inhale, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, release, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Breathe in, two, three, four, hold,

Box Breathing To Calm Your Body

SPEAKER_00 3:04

two, three, four, and you continue to go in that rhythm. And I visualize, I visualize an actual box in my head. And I breathe in and count, I hold and count, I release and count. I hold and count. I inhale and count. And I just picture moving along, moving along the box. And the corners are where you hold. And you can do whatever count. There's no right or wrong way to do it. But do it slow. Do it intentionally, calmly. Breathe. Relax. And grieve the way that you need to grieve. This is the caring death, doula, and I am here for you.