I Got Rejected by TEDx - And Felt Proud of Myself

I recently applied for a TEDx talk and got rejected.

And strangely… I felt proud of myself.

In this episode of Mystic in Training, I share what changed between the first time I applied for TEDx and this time - and why rejection no longer means what it used to.

This is a conversation about success, expression, self-trust, and the difference between being chosen by others and choosing yourself.

Because sometimes the real success is not the yes.

It’s who you become when you get a no.

In this episode, Melissa explores:

• what rejection can reveal about your self-worth
• how her definition of success has changed
• why expression became her new measure of success
• what it means to create your own stages
• why not being chosen is not the same as failure
• how to keep moving towards the things you really want

PS. We move through a set of codes that sit beneath everything we do. When we crack those, we make moves that felt impossible before.

Come and find your hidden agreements in this brand new free masterclass: https://melissa-amos.com/the-hidden-agreements/ 

Memoirs of a Mystic In Training, by Melissa Amos is available on Amazon

Learn more about Melissa by visiting her website melissa-amos.com and download a free hypnotherapeutic series, Intuition Rewired. 

Follow her @themelissaamos across the platforms 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Mystic in Training podcast with me, your host, Melissa Amos. I have just been rejected and I am feeling weirdly proud of myself. And I wanted to share this today because this really I believe what it means to be a Mystic in Training. This understanding that we can do things, we can do things that make us scared, we can do things that push us out of our comfort zone, we can do things that which, by the way, are not received by the people that we want to receive it and still feel good. And that has been my story, but and this has not always been my story. So let me give you the context. A week ago, I sent in an application for a TEDx talk. Now, the TED stage has been a stage that I've wanted to uh be on for some time. There's something really there about the recognition of such a well-known brand of an organization that really is here to, as they say, help good ideas be shared. And I know it is a potential for my message to get out there in the world. And so I saw that one of the TEDx, the local UK TEDxes, was recruiting and asking for speakers. I sat and I wondered, what is it that wants to come through me today? I recorded actually pretty quickly the application. It was something that I've been working on for some time, the messaging. I recorded the little three-minute intro and hit submit. And then around 48 hours later, I received the rejection letter. Now, when I received it, yes, there was a little disappointment. Yes, this was something that I really wanted. To be recognized on a stage like that would have, you know, it's been something that's been on my bucket list for some time. And I realized when I received the rejection letter, and I still felt proud of myself, that my measure of success had radically changed from where I was 18 months ago. Last year I also applied for a TEDx. Now, the context was very different. This was it was the first TEDx that I'd applied for. I was very much in my head about it. I was trying to do everything perfect. My measure was this needs to be accepted. I worked really hard on it. I probably did about 25 takes of this three-minute video, really thought about what it is that I wanted to do. And you know, with TED, there's the spiritual aspects of things need to be rooted in science, which is definitely my bag, but I know that I moved sometimes towards the more esoteric concepts. Surprise, surprise. Um, and so you know, I really brought everything that I know about the neuroscience and and all of that into it. And anyway, I hit submit. Um, I was feeling like, yeah, this is gonna be amazing. It was a few weeks later that I received the rejection letter. Now, at that time, when I received the rejection letter, I felt rejected. I felt like my world had ended, it was mad. Um, and I remember calling my bestie in the States and just being like, I've been rejected. And uh we, you know, we had a good old bitch about it for for some time. You know, I really let my feelings come out and be and and be met there. And you know, there were other factors going on at the time, and it wasn't simply that, but when I received that letter, it really, I think what was happening in my mind was well, my message clearly isn't important, I'm I'm not good enough for for this kind of stage, I think too much of myself, all of those things. Um, this will never happen for me. I didn't do it well enough, I should have done it better, I should have chosen a different subject. And there was all of this stuff that came out, and none of it was true, or and maybe some, well maybe some of it was, but none of it was inherently true. And obviously I got over it. Um, but what's interesting is that I haven't applied for another TED talk since that moment. Now, other things that have happened since that moment is I've I spent a lot of time last year really thinking about what is my measure of success. Like, what is it? How do I know at the end of each day or at the end of each moment whether this has been successful or not? And I did a lot of work with one of my mentors, Robert Holden, um, during his mastermind Success Intelligence, uh, that really helped me land into what is important to share the stilled version after journaling almost every day on what is success, what is meaningful success, what is joyful success? I landed on the measure of success being my expression. The measure of success being, is the thing that I want to say coming through me in the cleanest and the clearest way possible? Have I brought to this everything that I can bring? Have I allowed for my wisdom to come through, for my opinion to come through, for my viewpoints to come through? Have I said what I wanted to say in a way that sits in my integrity, in the way that allows for my message to be not just expressed but received? Can I go to bed at the end of the day thinking, you know what, I've done myself proud today? And for all the brilliant words that came through my journal, and for all the frustrations, actually, and the realizations, it really came down to that. My measure of success is pure expression. And isn't it interesting that out of that my podcast was born? So you wouldn't be listening to this today had I not come to that. Because actually, just before I applied for the previous TEDx, I had already had the idea to start a podcast, but it took some months to come through. And I think had I not have done the work on what I'm holding as success, this podcast would have been wildly different. And now, as I'm sure you can hear, is the as you're listening to these transmissions, it's really changed. It's it is true. Like I I come in and I and and I speak what is on my mind. And I think that's why it has been received so well, because you're feeling the energy and you're feeling the transmission and you're feeling integrity that comes through that rather than what do I think my audience wants to hear, which is where I was when I applied when I applied for that first TEDx talk. Now, this time I came at it from a very different point of view. This time I came at it of what wants to come through me today. This time I came at it for I am stepping up and I'm applying for this because I know that this is a stage I belong on. This time I said I have a message to come through and I know the right people will hear it. And this time, when I didn't record it 25 times and I just let the idea flow through me, I knew that whatever the outcome is, that I'd done what I needed to do. And actually, the work that I did to prepare for that has not been wasted. Because the work that I've done to prepare from that has come through in other episodes of this podcast and will continue to come through, has come through in the Akashic Reiki training that I'm delivering and has come through in the next program that I'm about to release. And so when I received that rejection letter this time and I smiled because I didn't have that feeling of nobody wants me, I realized that what I have done internally, through getting really clear about what is important for me, what is my mission here, what is my point here, that I have recoded the internal workings of me, of my energy body, of my psyche, of my psychology, to actually be able to hold a different version of me? And I realize that since the original application, I've trusted myself more. I've created my own stages. If I want to be on the best podcast, what better way than to start my own and make that the best version of what I have to express? If I want to be on the big stages, what better way than to create my own stage and curate that in the way that wants to come through me, which I did with the Akashic Way in London a few months ago. If I really want to land in what the version of success means to me, then I need to model and be and become that version of success before anybody recognizes that. And you know what? It's not always comfortable. You know what? You have to put yourselves in situations where you think, like, oh, this may or may not work out. But if it doesn't work out, what am I bringing to it that I can still feel proud of? If it doesn't work out in the way that I'm hoping, as in I will be on that stage, what am I bringing to this to know that this wasn't a waste of time? And since then, and maybe it's linked, I have been invited to be on some incredible stages this year. I'll be at the 180 shift in London in October. I'll be at Peak Fest in September, I've been invited on podcasts and into other group programs. And whilst these don't seem to be linked, whilst none of these people knew that I'd also applied for the TEDx, you can understand how preparing myself from that, coding myself from that, being the person that knows that they are welcome, that they belong, that they are resourced enough to even be considered for this completely takes the power back into you and stops your whole day and your whole level of self-worth being, do they accept me or not? The real truth is, is do I accept myself or not? How much do I trust myself and accept myself and know myself to know that this is the action that I'm going to take, regardless of what the outcome is? Last time I got rejected from TEDx, the only person that knew about it and that knew how upset I was was my best friend in America. This time I wrote a post that I applied for a TEDx and got rejected because I realized that actually just applying, that actually putting myself forward for this, and that the growth that has happened when I received that and they said no, and I didn't, my world didn't fall apart, was exactly what needed to happen today. And that I am one step closer to being on that stage. And if not that, another. This isn't stopping me. This is another step forward into who I am and who I'm becoming. And every time I do that, my nervous system goes, Oh, look at that. We did this thing and we didn't die. Every time we do that, the message, the clarity, the wisdom that wants to come through tightens a little bit more. And the amount of messages that I have received from people who saw my post on Facebook that said, Thank you, because this is exactly what I needed to hear today, that is also a measure of success. That somebody, one person, maybe it's you, received this message that it's okay to do things and to fail, and I say that in commas, to not receive the yes that you wanted might be the success of on its own. That might be the reason why I did it. Not for just for me, but also for you. And who knows, maybe next time Ted has an application process, maybe the message that wants to come through me has evolved a little bit more. Maybe the version of me that needs to be on that TED X stage and sharing a message that could potentially go out into the whole world hasn't yet landed yet. Maybe that message needs to have two steps further. Maybe that message needed to be me having a failure of no, this isn't you and being really upset about it. And then having another one which was vastly different and on the opposite side of the coin for then maybe the next thing to come through. Maybe there's an experience that I needed to have that will really land this message so somebody in the audience can go, ah, yes, now I get it. Now I understand through her life experience that I haven't had yet. And how exciting is that? How exciting is that that I am one step closer to whatever it is that's been driving me to put myself forward in these positions? And how can that not be success? Me trusting that this drive and this desire to put myself forward for things like this, and then actually doing it and taking the action and not just let it be a dream in my head, not just letting it be the thing I see other people doing and see other people inviting to and going, why not me? Me going, why not me? And going and doing it anyway is the biggest measure of success that any of us can ever have. And so, dear listener, this is your invitation today. What is it that you really want to do? And why is it that you want to do it? And how can you show up to that, regardless of how it's received? How can you show up to that and go, you know what, whether this is a yes or no, I'm proud of myself. How can you do that? And then go ahead and do it. Ask the question, submit the application, put yourself forward, see what happens, and let yourself be upset. Like I was nearly 18 months ago. Let it happen. And then look back and go, yes, this is who I am, this is how I show up, this is how I trust myself, and let that be the thing that makes you proud. And so I'll see you next time, maybe on a stage near you.