The Hidden Agreements Running Your Life (And You Don’t Even Know It)

You don’t have a willpower problem.

You don’t even have a discipline problem.

You have an agreement problem.

In this episode, Melissa explores the hidden agreements that sit beneath your behaviour - the unconscious beliefs and codings that shape your decisions, habits, and results without you even realising it.

Through a deeply personal example of her own transformation, she reveals how patterns like comfort, identity, and conditioning can quietly run your life… even when you think you’re doing everything “right”.

This is the work beneath the work.

PS. We move through a set of codes that sit beneath everything we do. When we crack those, we make moves that felt impossible before.

Come and find your hidden agreements in this brand new free masterclass: https://melissa-amos.com/the-hidden-agreements/ 

Memoirs of a Mystic In Training, by Melissa Amos is available on Amazon

Learn more about Melissa by visiting her website melissa-amos.com and download a free hypnotherapeutic series, Intuition Rewired. 

Follow her @themelissaamos across the platforms 

Transcript

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Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Mystic in Training podcast with me, your host, Melissa Amos. Today I had no less than four people and the whole of my yoga class comment how well I look. Picture the scene, I'm there in my leggings and my sport attire, in my hair, needing a wash in a messy bun, no makeup. This was the truth that was reflected back to me. And naturally it got me thinking, being a mystic in training, that I am, about what it is that changed. Because maybe you know me and how I look, but over the last 12 months, I have radically changed how I look. It's not really because I've been radically trying to change how I look. Most people, when they've been reflecting this back to me over the last few months and they said, Oh, what's changed? I've really just come up with the answer of, Well, I've been eating more protein, which is true. But today I realized that I was only giving them a not even a half-truth. I was giving them the symptom to actually the truth of what's been happening. Just over a year now, I have been doing some radical self-work and really coming into understanding like what is it that's going on inside me and what is it that really needs to change. And I began to uncover a load of agreements that were sitting inside me, mainly actually around comfort. I had this trait that had come actually through some past life work, I understood, that one of my top priorities, one of the top things that me, my soul, my body, my mind, my psyche were all working towards was comfort, which is great. I love comfort. Give me a nice soft, comfy sweater or a nice comfy sofa, and I am there. And comfort is high value of mine. However, it was acting out in a way that was saying when things got tough, when I was under pressure, when things were getting too much, that I was seeking comfort, one of which was through food. Through using food as a comfort. In my head, I thought I was super healthy. And I was. I was I've been eating well for a long time. I don't go for much process stuff. I understand nutritional aspects of things. You know, I was, I certainly wasn't eating comparatively bad. But as I began to realize actually what was going on inside, I started to realize that I had these conflicts that were happening in me. Also, I had this whole set of inner beliefs and inner codings that have come from outside of me that told me, well, when you hit 40, then it's going to be really hard to lose weight and um your body changes, and uh, this is just what happens to you. And of course, my conditioning through my family and my genetics and all of the things that I've seen and I've downloaded into my psyche since the age of like zero. It's brought me up to this point. And you know what? It served me well. Like I've never been desperately unhappy with myself in general. And over the last 12 months, you could start to see not only the weight shedding, but something more than that. It was me coming more into myself. It was as if the more weight I shed, the more of me came into the forefront. So what is that? We've all dieted, right? And we've all tried to do the uh do the healthy thing. And you know, I've been going to yoga for a long time. But actually, if we're trying to come at it from this space of mindset, it's really bloody hard. So what actually is this? When I go in through not just the Akatic Records, um, but also through our subconscious mind and our psychology and just the way that we work, I realize that what it is is that we all have these agreements that sit inside us, these hidden agreements, these hidden codings that sit inside our frequency that are constantly telling us what to do. They're constantly directing us in what is the best action. And quite often we mistake it as intuition. Quite often we mistake it as our identity, as this is what I am, or this is my human design, or this is my personality type, or you know, this is just the way that my body looks. But when we look deeper, we can see that there's a whole set of beliefs that quite likely haven't even come into our conscious awareness, like me with comfort, that's now running our behaviour. Now, this can also come up as well, it's safer not to be seen, or I can't have success and still be like if I earn lots of money that I will become evil, that it's not my turn yet, that I need to be chosen, that I have to prove myself, that I'm not good enough, that it's okay for them because, or I don't have the right face or the right shape or the right accent or the right attitude or the right whatever it is. Now, the thing with these things is they don't really feel like belief. They feel like truth. They feel like, well, this is just the way of the world, this is just what the reality is for me. And you're right, because this is what the reality is for me. I was saying the story time and again, it doesn't matter what I eat, I'm still putting weight on. And that's what was happening until I shifted what was going on underneath, which let's be honest, no amount of protein was going to change if I couldn't get to that route at the beginning. If you take last week's episode, for example, when I was speaking about the TEDx, I had this agreement that was running through me before that said I need to be chosen in order to be successful. In order for this to be right, correct, for me to be chosen, this has to be verified by some outside source. And I changed that through what was going on, through the this understanding of actually what is more important for me. Because back then, what was more important for me was to be chosen. That was the thing. That's what was running my behavior was what can I do in order to be chosen? And what was happening? I was scanning outside using my brilliant intuition to tell me, well, I need to do ABC in order to be chosen, because that's what they want and that's what they want, which ended up really with quite a muddy message. And you know what? It worked to a degree, and that's almost the most dangerous thing is it works to a degree. It gets us so far. We think, well, okay, well, it worked to here, but you're not there anymore. You're now moving forward, you're now ready for the next level. And what worked up to this point cannot and will not work moving forward. Because now you need a new set of understandings, of codings, of drivers of behavior, so that you can pull yourself out of the rut that you found yourself in, of the belief system that you found yourself in. As soon as I realize and recoded in my system that actually expression is something that's really important to me, whether I get chosen or not, that it's actually more important for me to express what is happening, to channel what is coming through me, even if it means I'm rejected, that everything began to shift. And being who I am, I didn't leave it there because I really wanted to understand what's going on. What is the cost of these hidden agreements, these things that are sitting inside us? Well, I saw that they're things that create the overthinking loops of, well, now what do I do and how do I do it and what do I need? It comes into these behaviors of I need to know more. And so you go outside and you take every single course and you read every single book, and there's never a moment of silence because you're listening to the podcast while you're cooking your dinner and then jumping on the call and then doing the thing. It leads to delay of saying, well, actually, no, I better not. It leads to outsourcing a thousand opinions. It leads to sabotaging the behaviors of the things that you're not going to do. It leads to us being busy and actually not getting any further towards the things that we tell ourselves that we want. It leaves us in jobs that we don't enjoy, putting offers out that we don't quite love, hiding behind modalities and other people's processes. It stops us from saying yes or no or having our boundaries. These agreements leak in every single area of our life. We start dulling down the standards that we hold. We start excusing our behavior and other people's towards us. They literally shape everything that we do and that we know and that we have. But here's the thing: these codes, these agreements, as we begin to understand them when we bring them into our awareness, we begin to understand that they're not constant. We are constantly actually creating new agreements. We've just never been conscious about it before. This isn't just think differently and just do a hundred affirmations, which can work. They can work if they work at the level of coding. But most of the time they don't work because we have these conflicting patterns that sit underneath it that are more important than the thing that you've just said in front of the mirror five times. The thing really is, well, I become consciously aware of the agreement. So I became consciously aware of that my priority was comfort. And then I took that and I said, actually, is that still true? I took that and I began to shift my understanding of what does comfort mean to me. Because I tell you, comfort wasn't carrying another 10 kilos with me everywhere I go. Tried carrying a 10 kilo bag on your back. It's quite inconvenient and uncomfortable. And so I began to reshape and re-measure what these things mean to me. And then I took the work in through my subconscious, not just through my conscious mind, but through my energy body, through my understanding, through my Akashic records, my field, so that I could continue to not only consciously choose again, but have the field that is informing me about what I'm consciously choosing to give me some better suggestions. Because my brain can't do it on its own, and my body can't do it on its own. My body was thinking it was craving sugar. It wasn't, it was craving comfort. My mind was thinking, oh, well, I'm doing all these things really well, but I wasn't. I was teasing an old version of myself that didn't know she'd been outgrown. Well, she did know, she felt it in her discomfort, in her frustrations, in her why me's, in her what now, in her this change isn't possible for me, in this, well, how comes it's all right for them and not for me, in this victimhood. And even in this, well, I'm doing okay, not so bad. Look at other people my age, right? These excuses that we make, like they're almost even worse because they're insidious. They don't give us that agitation that sometimes we need to help us create change. So think about you. Think about what you have done. What have you appeased within you that you've said yes to that you actually didn't even realize that you'd agreed to in the first place? Because when we get clear on that, we can really start to change the whole trajectory of where it is that we're going. We can begin to understand what it is that has been driving us and why the things that we so badly want to change in our brains haven't been working. Why the this that today is going to be different, and then it gets to tonight and it wasn't. It was worse than the day before. Why you promise yourself, well, next time I'll do it, and next time happens, and so does the time after, and you still haven't done it. It's not because there's something out there to get you. It's not because you're lazy, it's not because you're not good enough, it's not because you're not smart enough. It's because there's something that's driving you that you're being loyal to, and it's not your highest self. But the good news is that you've proven to yourself that you have loyalty and that you have faith and that you have trust and that you have consistency and that you have willpower and you have all of these things because if you didn't, you wouldn't be there here where you are now. You've just been misplacing them in the wrong thing right now, and that's okay until it isn't. It's time now that we really allow ourselves to code ourselves for success, to code ourselves for our highest destiny, to code ourselves for this life that we're living that wants to be filled with joy and love and connection and wealth and health and happiness. And whatever your version of success is, this is what I'm working on in the success codes. And it's revolutionary because this is where we make the real change without the hustle, without the hardship, without the oh my god, now I need to be vigilant with my mind. We come at it from the place where it feeds us, and that makes the world of difference. And today that difference was four separate people coming up to me and saying, Wow, Melissa, you look amazing. What have you done? Well, that's what I've done. So if that was you and you're now listening to this podcast, thank you. I hope that's provided the answer. And if you want to come and do the work, all of the details of how we can continue this conversation are in the show notes below. I will see you next time.