Why Some People Get Results From Mentors… And Others Don’t

You’ve invested.
You’ve learned.
You’ve followed the strategy.

So why does it feel like something still isn’t clicking?

In this episode, Melissa breaks down a pattern she’s seen over and over again - why some people get powerful results from mentorship… and others stay stuck, even in the same rooms.

And the truth might not be what you think.

Because it’s not about the mentor.
 And it’s not about the strategy.

It’s about who you become in the process.

Inside this episode, we explore:

• Why taking action before you feel ready changes everything
• The real reason strategy alone doesn’t create results
• How “waiting to feel confident” keeps you stuck
• The difference between learning… and becoming
• Why your level of visibility determines your level of success
• What you’re actually investing in when you hire a mentor

This is a conversation about identity, self-trust, and the willingness to be seen.

Because the results you want don’t come from knowing more.

They come from becoming the person who can hold them.

For more on the success codes: https://melissa-amos.com/the-success-codes/

Download the Hidden Agreements, available upon sign up: https://melissa-amos.com/the-hidden-agreements/

Memoirs of a Mystic In Training, by Melissa Amos is available on Amazon

Learn more about Melissa by visiting her website melissa-amos.com and download a free hypnotherapeutic series, Intuition Rewired. 

Follow her @themelissaamos across the platforms 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome back to the Mystic in Training podcast with me, your host, Melissa Amos. Today's episode is brought to you by a question that has consistently been reflected back to me but has come up again quite recently. Um, and this episode is for you. If you feel like you make investments, if you feel like you go to make the difference in the world, but then something seems to stop you. Because for me, for a number of years, I've been one to have a mentor. I have had either a spiritual or a business mentor or a combination of the lot for a number of years. And something that I often notice is that I get really great results from my mentors. When I first started working with Kyle Gray back in 2017, I think it was, and eventually became one of his mentor teachers in his angel team. When I then developed my business doing readings and angel cards and actually teaching an angel workshop, where there were hundreds of people who were in the same courses as me who didn't get the same results. When I worked as with my shamanic practitioner in my apprenticeship, we ended up working together, running workshops together, and creating a healing modality together. In my business mentorships, I'm often there and I and I create the business, I get the success, I've been on the podcast, I got my magazine column. Obviously, the business has boomed in that time. And it's just often reflected back to me that people have the same mentors as me. It's happened quite often that my clients and my friends, my peers, my colleagues come and they join the same group as I am. Even though they're investing in the same space, they're not necessarily getting the outcome that they might see me get. I got really curious about this because it's not because I'm something special. It's not about luck, although, you know, I think divine timing does fall into it sometimes. But it's about something different. And it's not about the mentor. Now, I do have a knack to find some really good mentorship, but I don't think that's the question because this is what we I keep seeing time and again. And it's not, is the mentor good or is the strategy good? The question that I got really curious about is what's different in the people who are implementing it and getting the results versus the people who feel like they're even further behind before they start. So if we begin with what we think people are investing in, and I know for me, especially through my business mentorship, I thought that I was investing in getting the right answers, in learning the right strategy and how to build the financial returns from the business in how to get more visible, in success, really. And in my spiritual mentorship, it was about honing in the techniques and discovering more and learning more about the different protocols and magic and theories and philosophies that are out there. I don't think that's really what we're investing in. What we're actually investing in is a version of ourselves that we haven't yet landed in yet, but somehow we know is available because otherwise, why would you invest in it? It's as if we outsource our trust for a bit, and this is okay, to our mentors, to the people who we see have walked the path before us or have the skills, have the strategies that are available to us, so that we can then develop the trust. We don't get their trust by proxy. This is great, and I see this time and again, but the difference really comes in what we then do with that. So, for example, when I took my psychotherapy training and my soul transformation work and all of these healing modalities that I took, I would very quickly start utilising the skills and the techniques and the tools that I learned in the training through my in my audience, in my workshop. I'd go live and do a do a talk on it, and I would bring it in very quickly. Now, people would often say to me, Oh, you're so confident. How do you get so confident with that? Here's the secret. It's not that I was so confident in doing that, it's that I knew that by sitting it sitting in my toolbox, it was never going to get more confident. The learning was never gonna be as potent as when the day after that I finished the workshop. And the difference in what I was doing was this willingness to feel that discomfort, know that that discomfort is not a no, and move and take action on it before I was certain of what was gonna come. And this was how through particularly that kind of training, I would often gain a lot of traction in getting clients for this, getting referrals for this, building the confidence so that when I came back the next month for the next module, I had already integrated a lot of this. I was building on it rather than, which so many of us do, think, well, I need to learn all of it. I need to get to the ends, I need to have the all of the information before I can start. But then what happens is this seed that we've planted through our training, through our mentorship, through our guidance, just kind of sits in the void. And actually, what starts to build around it is more uncertainty. What starts to build around it is more, well, I don't know if I can do this. And sometimes it's like the more we know, the more we realize what we don't know, and then we become more scared, and then we're like, well, I need to find the next thing. When I started in my business mentorship, my mentor said to me, She knew that one of the things that I wanted to do was to build my audience. So, you know, already had a business that was doing pretty well. I was working on referrals and you know, people recommending me. She recommended that I do a weekly like radio station over on Facebook. When did I start that weekly station? That week. I picked it up, I didn't know who was coming, I didn't really know what I was going to be talking about. I picked a subject that I know well, I put an event on my wall, and I'm like, hey, I'm gonna be live from now on at 8 p.m. on a Monday. Come and tune in. And you know what? The first week, some people tuned in, and the following week more people tuned in, and it became a thing. And I ran it for three or four months, and it did so much for me. I didn't plan it really. I didn't sit in my head about it. Was I nervous? Yes. Did I think well, no one's gonna want to listen to me and talk to me? Probably. Wondered if anyone would show up, but that wasn't the point because my measure of success wasn't how many people show up, am I gonna get a client from it? My measure of success was do I show up at eight o'clock on a Monday every week? And I did for a number of weeks. People still speak to me about that. And eventually now, well, it's some years later, but now we have the Mystic and Training podcast that people say to me, they tune into every week, they can't wait for the drop. Would this have happened without that? I don't know. And so a lot of what happens, I think, when we make an investment is we're hoping for the authority figure, right? The person in charge, the person who's running the space, to give us the, yes, we want the strategy from them, but it's almost like we're anticipating that they're gonna give us the trust in ourselves. And it doesn't matter how good the mentor is, and like I said, I've had some great mentors, and they have built trust in me. And they have when they've recognized the magic in me and the spark in me, but they wouldn't have recognized the magic and the spark of me had I have not shown up. They wouldn't have recognized the magic and spark in me had I not made myself known, had I not pushed myself into those levels of discomfort, had I not trusted myself enough, even when I didn't feel like I trusted myself. Because what I keep seeing is that most of us we are waiting to be ready. But readiness doesn't just come through somebody telling you there, there, you've done a good job. Readiness comes when we take an action. Readiness comes when we know that that step into that discomfort is actually the edge of where we are and moving into our new identity. Because when we are making an investment, we are not really looking for the healing modality, for the strategy for how we write the content for whatever it is that we think is the magic source. What we're actually investing in is a future version of us. What we're actually investing in is this new identity of somebody who can hold this new level of what we are, especially in business, and especially as healers or coaches or mentors. We want to be in that capacity of I can hold this, whether that is the skills that we learn and the tools and the techniques, which was true for my psychotherapy. But I see more and more commonly is this ability to be able to hold the visibility, to know that we are safe to hold this level of trust, right? This level of openness, this level of vulnerability, this level of being seen and know that things are going to work out for us, that we can trust in ourselves enough. But that trust only ever comes through action. And so I say all of this because it seems to me, again, in when I look in investment spaces, that especially when people get towards the end or the middle, like I'm coming to the end of my six-month journey on the shift happens mastermind with Robert Holden, and it's been incredible. There's a kind of shift towards the end of well, what else can I get from this? And I wonder if we just change that to what more can I become from this? What risks am I willing to take whilst I'm under this guidance? How am I willing to lose a part of me? Because I'm sorry, but if we're moving into a new identity, it does mean that we need to lose a part of ourselves, and that's scary, that's not easy. But how willing am I to do this? How willing am I to let go of the fear of being seen? How willing am I to let go of the perceived comfort that I'm living in right now? How willing am I to find myself through change? Because we all say it, we all say that we want change. We all say that we want visibility and we want success. What are we willing to do for that? We've been taught and trained that what the willingness to do from that is to hustle and to work harder and to build our strategy, but it's not, it's to become the person, it's the identity that we are building underneath that. But you know what? It is so much safer, seemingly, to stay in the strategy, to blame the strategy. Why? Because strategy feels safer than exposure. But how are you gonna build a business if you're afraid that your exposure will make you a target? How can anyone see the multi-five, six, seven-figure version of you if you are still operating from the identity of the person who is just starting? If you're in business, you're not walking the road that's usually traveled, right? And if your business is an expression of your purpose, which if you're listening to this podcast, I'm going to suggest it is, or you want it to be. Your business isn't just about making money. Yes, you want it to make money. Yes, you want it to create impact. Yes, you want to have the clients and the stability and the security. Yes. But really, you're starting a business because you can get that anywhere. You're starting a business because this is about who you are becoming in the process of your success. And so, yes, we find the strategy, yes, we find the tweaks, yes, we find the program ideas, yes, we invest in mentorship in that way. But start to rethink about your investments, not in how do I find the perfect strategy, how do I perfect the tools and techniques that they're teaching me, but how do I become the person who can fully express this and fully express this thread that sits inside of me? This is the work that I've become obsessed with. This blend of energy and identity and psychology and what's really happening in the real world and how we actually create the real results, how we become the person that is making the impact, how we become the person that can hold the higher prices, the higher visibility, the higher vulnerability, the skill set, the ability to be able to hold space for the people that we really want to hold space this. If you're a business owner, life's a journey and you've chosen this path. If you've chosen this path, it's gonna get uncomfortable. So invest in your mentors. Do I invest in some great people, but don't expect them to solve your problems for you. Don't expect them to be the ones that are going to hit you with a magic wand and go, there we go, now you can trust yourself. Your job is to bring that trust, is to bring that expression, is to bring that stability, is to bring that core that's within you and go, you know what, I'm gonna do this and I'm willing to take risks. And a good mentor will hold you through that just to the degree that you can go and do that yourself. And a good mentor will not just give you the strategy, they will help you become who you are underneath. And if you don't have that, through if it's your business mentorship or through your training, you go and find somebody who can help create that stability for you. Because it doesn't matter in if you are investing 100 pounds, a thousand pounds, or a hundred thousand pounds. If you can't become the person that can hold that level, that can create that transformation, that can find that resilience, that capacity within you to become it, you're just gonna keep on looping. And that's what I found. And that's really what's got me here. Alongside people walking beside me. So even whilst listening to this podcast, just ask yourself, who am I in this? How am I taking this on board? What is this bringing up for me? Bring yourself into every conversation and take that ownership and know that you've got this because you wouldn't be sitting here getting to the end of this if you didn't. I'd believe that to my core. This is the work we do. This is what it means to be a mystic in training, running your own business. We gotta take risks, we gotta trust ourselves, we've gotta become the person we were always meant to be. And I promise you, on the other side of that, there's more growth, there's more evolution, there's more success. And that is what I wish you could. I will see you next time. Bye for now.