The Doors You Keep Not Walking Through

What if every decision you make is a doorway?

In this episode of Mystic in Training, Melissa Amos explores the psychology and spirituality of expansion after a transformational retreat with Dr Robert Holden.

Together, they explored the idea of “doors” - the moments, choices, opportunities and thresholds we are invited to walk through in life.

But what happens when fear, conditioning, self-doubt and the need for certainty keep us hesitating at the threshold?

Inside this episode:

• Why we keep negotiating with our expansion
• The psychology behind hesitation and self-protection
• How your nervous system responds to growth
• Why “clarity” is often disguised fear
• The hidden cost of waiting until you feel ready
• How micro decisions shape your entire life
• The difference between your soul’s expansion and your human need for safety
• How to build self-trust through action

This episode blends psychology, spirituality, nervous system work, identity, intuition and personal transformation into a deeply reflective conversation about becoming who you were always meant to be.

Because sometimes the doorway isn’t the scary part.

It’s who you have to become on the other side of it.

Memoirs of a Mystic In Training, by Melissa Amos is available on Amazon

Learn more about Melissa by visiting her website melissa-amos.com and download a free hypnotherapeutic series, Intuition Rewired. 

Follow her @themelissaamos across the platforms 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Mystic in Training Podcast with me, your host, Melissa Amos. This weekend I was on an absolute incredible retreat with Dr. Robert Holden and an array of incredible coaches and mentors and healers and spiritual seekers from all over the world. The concept that we were playing with and contemplating was doors. The doors that we walk through, the doors that we avoid, the doors that we negotiate with that are standing right in front of us. We were on excursions, we were meditating, we were on sacred sites, we were journaling, we were reflecting, and somewhere in this mass, I had this realization it's not always about these big moments. It's not like we only get like seven doors to walk through in our life. That it's almost as if every moment, every day, every choice, every micro decision that we make is moving through another door, it's moving through another portal, or not. How many times do we either decide to make the choice, to make the move, to keep on going, to keep on moving forward, or to move through the door, but with the baggage, with the negotiations, with the well, I'll walk through this door if I can bring all of this stuff with me. Or I will walk through that door, but can we just make sure that it's furnished fully to how I want it right now on the other side? And we call these decision moments and choices and and sometimes inspirations, but what's fascinating and what I see both with myself and with the other people that were journeying with me on this retreat, it's so often fueled by fear, but we don't call it that. We dress it up in things like, oh, well, I just need a bit more clarity, or well, this can't be the right time, or well, I will go once I have achieved ABC, or this was so common, and this is definitely me. I just want to have more certainty. I need to know what's on the other side, pulling 50 cards before you can actually make a choice because you want that clarity, you want that certainty, you want to know that what is on the other side is like a good decision, and so we hesitate. We say that we're being realistic or we're being kind or we're doing it so that we don't, you know, upset the apple car, or um, that we're protecting our peace, or that you know, things are the grass isn't always greener, and you know, all of these things that we tell ourselves, but when we come down to it, when there's these doorways, these portals, these moments, big or small, it becomes a choice of am I moving forward into something new? Am I willing to expand and become more? Am I, as we were discussing in this retreat, willing to keep on moving along my golden string? Or am I going to spend the next three years negotiating with my own expansion? And that's what I discovered. I think we can get so lost in what the big decisions are, like am I going, you know, stay or go, do this or that, start the business or quit the business, run this program or not, you know, whatever it is, you know, relationships, friendships, what home we're gonna live in. Like we can think about these big moments, but really life is full of doors. Life is in the message that you send or you don't send. Doors are in the boundary that you uphold or not, the opportunity that you decide that you're not gonna apply for, the live video that you almost do, the podcast that you almost launch, the conversation that you almost have, and we think they're insignificant. We think, oh, well, I was too busy, or but this came up, or well, I still did the thing, or well, I applied for it, and you know, and it just kind of didn't work out, or oh, I just missed the deadline because I was so busy, right? And these moments can feel like they are insignificant, um, or they can feel like, well, it's no big deal, but really what I see is that they are a bunch of doors, portals that have been put there for you all my days. I had this realization that these doors where I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I need to choose, I need to be the one that says, yes, I moved through or not. And whilst that's kind of true, um, as I was, don't judge me, chatting with my door and channeling this insight from my door, and it revealed to me that I put the door there. I was the one that became ready for it. I was the one that called it in, like me, my higher wisdom, my higher self. But what we do is we create these doors, these portals, these opportunities. But then when push comes to shove, and it comes this moment to actually step through, we hesitate, we say no, we turn away, we get distracted, or we've got like one foot in. Just gotta just gotta try this here. And then the other foot's still back trying to stay safe. The truth is, and this is what the door reflected to me, that I'm thinking I'm wanting clarity, right? I'm thinking that I want to be assured that what's on the other side of this is going to be right for me. Um, and the door called me out. The door was like, well, you've got the clarity where you are, but is it clarity that you like? The door was like, well, you know, you've got the experience, you know where you are, you know how this is going to be, but is this really what you want? And so is it that I want clarity? Because I've got clarity. What I don't have on the other side of this is the version of me that I have to become to not just walk through it, but to hold it on the other side. And I think that's the thing that we worry that whatever's we step into, we don't have the capabilities, or we don't have the resources, or we don't have the trust in myself, or we don't have the expansion already. But the thing is that we don't. We don't have them, and so the choice becomes do we become, do we allow ourselves to become the unknown? Do we allow ourselves to become the beginner? If we talk in tarot terms, do we allow ourselves to become the fool rather than feeling like we have to have already known the full cycle before we'll make a a step? As I was in commune with my door, it was interesting because when I was thinking of it as a concept, the door felt really scary. The door felt like it was something quite big that I had to move through, a choice point, a thing that I had to say yes or no to. And when I thought of it like that, the I was avoiding even looking at it. But as I consciously connected and discovered more about what was this door was representing, I realized this the door isn't really the scary part, the scary part is who you then have to become on the other side of it, and what you're willing to let go of on this side of it. And I realize the more we allow ourselves to do things in the little moments, right? In the post that we don't post, in the podcast that we almost launch, in the message that we almost send, and then we don't, we hesitate because what if they think this? And you know, will they think, will they judge me in this way, will they reject me? You don't know. You don't know what's going to happen. But the more we can step in our truth, the more we can actually understand our behaviors, understand how our nervous system is wired, understand these implicit drivers that are sitting underneath our choices and our decisions, the more we can understand that. Am I a person who will willingly walk through these thresholds, mini ones, minor, minor ones, micro ones, with that sense of I'm doing this for my highest being. I'm doing this for my expansion, for my growth, for my evolution, for my truth. Like that becomes your driver. That becomes the thing that we dwell in, that we rest in, that we come back to, like our mystic, right? We come into this mystical part of us. What do I mean by that? There's part of us that knows, there's part of us that's safe, there's part of us that is connected into the divine before the conditioning, before the fears, before the doubts, before the hesitations, this part of us. And we keep coming back into that and asking from this point, what is the action that I need to take right now? What is the best move for me? Not then, well, now what will happen and what's the next three steps and all of these things, but am I allowing myself to be guided, knowing that this threshold that sits in front of me has been placed by me? And what do I need to become in order to do this? What do I need to let go of? Which is often a construct, a behavior, a belief, a pattern, a fear, or you know, rejection wound, or whatever. If I fully trusted myself, which your inner mystic does, what would I do? And I think if we can keep coming back into that in the mini moments, if we can come into this awareness, when it even when it's something as simple as what post do I write, or what do I want to say, or what do I want to write in this message, that it seems to build up the resilience or build up the truth. It seems to actually recode the system underneath because we begin to see in the mini moments that when we take that step, even when it's uncomfortable, even when our heart is like gong, gong, gong, right? Beating like crazy, we're doing the thing and we're trusting it. And then we start to cultivate this knowing that oh my god, I wrote that post, and yeah, maybe I did get judged. Maybe someone did unfollow me. Maybe somebody went, that's terrible. And maybe somebody messaged you and went, I'm really inspired by that, or how do I work with you? Or should we go out for dinner? Because they feel that there's this truth, and I know this to my core. My soul will never lead me wrong. My soul will never lead me wrong. But how many times are we dwelling back in our soul and asking our soul for guidance and knowing that this doorway is there to help us with our expansion? It's always there to help us with expansion. The nature of our soul is to expand, the nature of our human is to contract, is to stay the same, is to stay safe. And this is what I see time and again is that we give our authority to the part of us that isn't sure, that wants clarity, that wants safety. That's not what life is about. That's not what we're here for. I'm not saying be unsafe. I'm saying let's rewire what safety actually means. Let's recode that growth is the thing and that these doorways are here for us, and that every moment we are moving through another threshold with every single major and minor decision that we make. I'm either coming from my soul, coming from my expansion, coming from my wiser self, or I'm coming from a part of me that isn't that. And guess where the the discomfort lies? It lies in the in the gap between the two. And I what I've learned is when we can build the capacity to hold the gap between the two, that is when real magic begins to happen. That is when we're like, okay, gonna step through this. Let's just hope a hope and a prayer. And then we get to the other side and we're like, oh my god, I had it in me all the time. Who knew? Who knew that I could be this version of me? I didn't from over there. Who knew that I could say that thing that's been on my mind for so long? And how it would resonate with the right people, and how it would then take me into my next income level, my next stage opportunity, my next podcast interview, my next relationship. Who knew that I could be the one now that is on the training or on the course that actually is the one that has the biggest shift that comes home and goes, now I've done the thing, rather than, and I'm afraid to say, I see this quite often. We see these huge shifts, and then you meet up with them a month, three months, six months later, and they're still circling the same thing. It's to do with that. It's to do with this inner working of how willing am I to move through the door and to trust that that door is mine. How willing am I to know and understand that every moment is a portal, every moment is a choice point, every moment is a decision, and we step and take it. And yes, we can weigh it up, and yes, we can pull the cards. I definitely do that from time to time. And we can trust ourselves enough that should I dwell in my mystic, should I refer back to her or him or then time and again and ask what's really happening and move into my expansion. That these doors become our inevitable path forward. That we stop treating the doorways like a doorway, but we treat them like the identity that sits underneath it. And who am I becoming? This is why we keep pulling back from the expansion that we have, because we're not set up for this, but we can be set up for this. And for me, this is the mystic and training path. It's this understanding that we have these opportunities that the one of the purposes of life is to grow and to become, to evolve, to expand, to follow our golden thread into our becoming. And I'm sorry to say this, but you are not going to become whilst you're just sitting in the room that you are more comfortable with. Your doors are your doors for a reason. Why? Because they're your doorways into a more expanded identity of yours. And that's the point. That's what you're holding, that's what you're investing in, that's what you're becoming, that's why you're listening to this podcast. Because there's a part of you that knows that there's something more in there, and it's calling you. And your invitation is what am I willing to say yes to? Am I willing to say yes to me? And when you do, you knock on the door and it will be open for you. This is the work that we do. This is how we code for success. This is how we blend our human with our mystical. This is how we become who we were always meant to be.

unknown 17:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

And so, dear listener, this is your invitation of how and what are you going to be as you step through your next doorway. Okay. I will see you next time.