Empowering the Next Generation | Tamika Williams

What if the labels people placed on you were never meant to define you?

In this episode of The Ashley B. Cash Show, I sit down with Tamika Williams, Founder and Executive Director of Beautiful As I Am, Inc., to talk about what it looks like to overcome adversity, embrace your purpose, and pour into the next generation.

Tamika's story is one of resilience. Once labeled a troubled child, she refused to let her circumstances determine her future. She went on to earn three degrees, maintain a 3.85 GPA throughout high school, and build an organization that is transforming the lives of girls and women through confidence, healing, literacy, and leadership across the United States and Kenya.

This conversation isn't just about Tamika's journey—it's about the power of believing in yourself when the world doesn't, the importance of having people who see your potential, and why every child deserves the opportunity to discover who they were created to be.

I hope this episode reminds you that your past doesn't have the final say. Your purpose does.

About The Ashley B. Cash Show: The Ashley B. Cash Show features conversations with education leaders, policy experts, parents, teachers and reform advocates who are working to transform K-12 education. Host Ashley B. Cash brings her perspective as both a parent and business owner to explore systemic education issues and practical solutions for creating better outcomes for students, families, and communities.

About Ashley:  As both a mother and business owner, Ashley brings a unique dual perspective to education reform advocacy, driven by her desire for better educational outcomes for future generations and informed by her firsthand experience with the skills gap facing employers today. Her passion for transforming K-12 education stems from witnessing the real-world consequences of educational failures and recognizing the critical need for a system that prepares students for diverse career pathways, not just college. Through this podcast, Ashley champions solutions including aptitude-based education tracks, expanded school choice, practical skills integration, and alternative career pathways that align with students' individual strengths and interests.

Follow @AshleyBCashOfficial on Instagram & @Ashley Bowes Cash on Facebook.
Visit www.AshleyBCashOfficial.com for more content and features.

About The Ashley B. Cash Show: The Ashley B. Cash Show features conversations with education leaders, policy experts, parents, teachers and reform advocates who are working to transform K-12 education. Host Ashley B. Cash brings her perspective as both a parent and business owner to explore systemic education issues and practical solutions for creating better outcomes for students, families, and communities.

About Ashley:  As both a mother and business owner, Ashley brings a unique dual perspective to education reform advocacy, driven by her desire for better educational outcomes for future generations and informed by her firsthand experience with the skills gap facing employers today. Her passion for transforming K-12 education stems from witnessing the real-world consequences of educational failures and recognizing the critical need for a system that prepares students for diverse career pathways, not just college. Through this podcast, Ashley champions solutions including aptitude-based education tracks, expanded school choice, practical skills integration, and alternative career pathways that align with students' individual strengths and interests.

Follow @AshleyBCashOfficial on Instagram & @Ashley Bowes Cash on Facebook.

Visit www.AshleyBCashOfficial.com for more content and features. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to the Ashley Becash Show, and I'm Ashley. I'm so excited today. The conversation is going to be great. This one truly moved me, and I have been looking forward to sharing it with you. Tamika Williams is the founder and executive director of Beautiful As I Am, otherwise known as BIA, an organization dedicated to transforming the lives of girls and women through programs rooted in confidence, healing, literacy, and leadership. What makes Tamika's story so powerful is where it begins. She was once labeled a troubled child. She went on to earn three degrees, maintain a 3.85 GPA throughout high school, and build a movement that now reaches women and girls across the United States and Kenya. She didn't just survive her journey. She turned it into a village for others who needed exactly what she once needed. Get ready because this conversation is full of purpose, passion, and truth. Let's get into it. Welcome to Mika.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Thank you for having me, Ashley.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Well, thanks so much for joining me. I love your story. I love that we got to talk and hash through the whole thing. And I know the listeners are going to be super excited to hear all that you have to offer and everything that you're doing for these girls. Why don't you take a minute and tell everybody a little bit about Beautiful As I Am?

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Sure. So uh Beautiful as I am was founded uh from my uh origin story, which is um like Ashley uh spoke on a little bit, I was labeled as a troubled child. And um in the fifth grade, I had a teacher pull me in front of the class and tell me pretty much tell all the kids not to be like me. I was never gonna amount to anything. I'll probably end up pregnant, um, in jail or on drugs by the time I was 16. Um, and during that time, I um did not understand the magnitude of what she was saying, but I did know that I was not gonna be anything that this lady just said that I was gonna be. I didn't know how because I was, you know, really uh just kind of out of control. Um, but what was such a blessing for me is that I had a village of women that despite who I was, they constantly spoke life into me and they told me that I would be better than what I am. And if I change this and change that, they literally gave me a blueprint. And finally, in the uh high school, my first year, I decided to change. I was like, let me give this this a shot. You know, um, I've mastered being bad, clearly. Um, so let me give it a shot at doing what is right, and um, that just changed my entire life. Like you mentioned, I never dropped below a 3.85 GPA. I was at top of my class, um, just completely changed my life. And when I got in college, I decided that I wanted to be a village for other young girls and women um who did not have a village or did not feel as though that their voice was being heard. So um from that, I didn't know what I was doing. I just was gonna repeat what was done for me. And from me repeating what was done for me, um, it turned into beautiful as I am, where we teach life and social skills to young girls and women. Um, because fun fact, not all women have good life and social skills. So we teach life and social skills, but more practical life and social skills, so that our women and young girls can be more confident and more successful in all that they do.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

The power of a village, um, the power of a group of women coming together is so, I mean, I have the same thing. That's what makes me be able to do all the things that I can do, right? It's my friends that that stand next to me. It's the mothers and grandmother figures that that pull me forward, right? And that have poured into me over the years. Talk a little bit about what these women did, like how they poured into you. So now, and then now how you're in turn pouring into others.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

It started for me with my mom. Um, my mom, well, I remember her telling me this story about uh three separate women in three different settings told her, hey, I know that that girl is a handful right now, but if you stick with her and you continue to stand by her and work with her, she is going to change the world one day. She has this special power in her that you can't see it now because she's pretty much giving you all types of, you know, craziness right now. Um, but my mom said she held on to those words. And so when it was difficult when with me, she would just remember what they said and she would just constantly say, you know what, I'm not giving up on my child. I refuse to lose my daughter to the streets, I refuse to give up. And then I had my grandmother and I had aunts, and I just had other women who just uh they just kept talking to me. Um, and I I always say that to parents that I work with with my young girls, talk to your children. You you'll be surprised what sinks in. And it may not catch on right then and there, because it didn't for me, but as life went on, man, I pull back on some of them jewels that my mom and the women within my village poured into me. And so I do the same thing, you know. Um, if I'm and I don't have to even be in my nonprofit setting, it's everywhere I go. Um, I see a woman, I'm going to uplift them. I'm gonna tell them, girl, you look good. You woke up this morning, you made it out the bed, you're doing a great job. Um, especially if I see someone looking down and they just look overwhelmed. Like I just want them to understand that they're beautiful, like you are beautiful just the way you are. So what I was taught was to pour into people. And so now I am doing the same thing. And I do it in my own little unique way, which is yes, girl, I love your shoes, or oh, that lipstick is beautiful, or just those little things can pick someone's um you know, head up that are that is that's you know, not having too much of a good day. So for me, I'm just repeating what was done for me, um, which is to pour into people.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

I love that. I love that. How do you think that Baia is filling the gaps that the schools are leaving what wide open? I mean, with you, you were in school, but and it was actually a teacher that kind of brought you to your low point, right? And and I know that there are lots of amazing teachers out there. Unfortunately, that teacher, you and I talked about this, that sometimes um somebody doing that to you, you know, she told you, she held you up as an example of what not to be to all the other girls, but that actually lit a fire underneath you to prove that you were going to be more than she said you were, right? And and I'm one of those people too, when people tell me I can't, that's when I'm like, oh, watch me, right? But the schools are obviously leaving gaps. You and I talked about the literacy gap. We've talked about the financial literacy gap, we've talked about the fact that schools are not teaching kids to problem solve or think critically anymore. And your organization is now trying to come forward and fill all of those gaps and teach leadership to these girls. So what are you seeing?

SPEAKER_02 7:16

So, what we've saw um over the time of us, uh, because I remember I told you when I first started, I did not know what I was doing. All I wanted to do was be a village, but I realized um through um working with my my goddaughter, um, and just I remember sometimes she had got a hole in the side of her shirt and she said, Oh man, I gotta throw this in the trash. I'm like, uh no, you don't. You just need to get some a needle with some thread and sew the sew it back up. And she was like, What? I don't know how to do that. And then I started thinking, like, how many other young girls don't have don't know how to sew? Like for me, that was like a basic life skill that I was taught at a young age. And then I started thinking about other life skills, but and so which allowed me to kind of figure out what it is we wanted to do. So what I started doing is working with some young girls in a high school and seeing where it is that they were missing and what they were missing was life and social skills and more practical life and social skills, like financial literacy, like you said, critical thinking, um, emotional intelligence, knowing how to balance their emotions, coping skills. These young girls did not have it. And then I started looking into the school system because I remember, you know, and I don't date myself, but when I was in school, we learned these things. Like it was a part of home ec, part of social studies and things like that. And um, I started seeing some young girls who would finish our program and go off to college, but wouldn't make it past that first year because they didn't have life skills, they didn't know how to balance being on their own and managing school and the emotions and all the things that come along with that. So I said, that's what we're gonna do. Um, because in this area in Maryland, they have pretty much taken life and social skills out of the school system. It's heavily based on academics and and I love that. I think everyone should have basic foundation in academics, but they also need to know how to survive outside of the school, you know, knowing how to get an apartment, knowing how to maintain good credit, knowing how to, you know, um, you know, ways that they can start building wealth for themselves, like, you know, knowing how to handle um when things don't go your way or you get rejected, like knowing how to do to deal with those things is important. And it really what we learned is that young girls and women who don't have that, nine times out of ten are not gonna be very successful. Or it's gonna take them a very long time to even start seeing some type of growth in their life because they don't have basic life skills. And so I said, that's what we're gonna do in this community. We're gonna bring life and social skills back into the community for these young girls and women who didn't get it in the school system, and a lot of them don't get it at home either. Because if mommy and daddy don't have it, they're not gonna teach it to you. So that's where we come in and we fill that gap. And it's it's really important. Um, you know, a lot of things I as an adult, I would talk to other people and I'm like, you don't know that. Like my mom taught me about that. Like my mom taught me how to grocery shop. My mom taught me, you know, hey, if your wash and dryer breaks down, go to the laundromat. Or, you know, if you're like my mom taught me these basic things, and a lot of our um kids in the community, they don't have that. And so that's where Umbaya comes in at.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

I love that. Um, and when we talked before, you and I are right on the same page because I think that these soft skills, rather durable skills, are almost more important than the high academics. Like, I think these skills should come before chemistry, biology, physics, algebra, and trigonometry, right? I always say only 5% of the population needs the chemistry, biology, physics, algebra, and trigonometry, but everyone needs these skills. And you hit momentarily on financial literacy. Um, I have just been at the state board of education here in Texas the last week, um, working on the financial literacy teach. So that's near and dear to my heart. What are you guys doing with financial literacy there at BIA?

SPEAKER_02 11:18

So, um, what I have done is uh I like to tie lessons with real life experiences. So, for instance, this year we did a real life series. We had a session. So we'll have a one session where we teach, and then the next session, they actually go and experience it. So we taught the young girls about how to buy a car, what's needed to purchase a car, um, you know, why your credit score matters. Um, and the same thing with find finding housing and things like that. We taught them those things, gave them the skills, even showed them how to be uh savvy with it, how to be smart, how not to overpurchase and you under, you know, you have uh uh income that's under um the what you can afford, showing those them those different tricks. And then we partner with various organizations and businesses within the community and we say, Hey, can we bring out girls? And like for instance, one of the dealerships we partner with here, um, we say, Hey, can we bring our girls in? And they go through the mock um process of purchasing a car. We're gonna give them a credit score, we're gonna give them how much they make, and we just want them to experience what it's like to, you know, um purchase a car. And we would like, hey, don't go easy on them because they are young. They need the real experience. So um, and a lot of the girls are like, wow, we didn't even know it took all this to purchase a car. Um, or I didn't know it goes, and we do the same thing with apartments and different things like that, even down to showing them how to budget for uh going grocery shopping, show them different things like that. So we pair it with a real life experience where we partner with these different places, whether it's a bank, we teach them how to go and open up a bank account. We've given them $25. Um, and they go in and they open up their first bank account and they go through that process. So for me, it's it's one thing to teach, but it's another thing to show and actually experience it. And all of the girls, when they go through this process, they're like, I don't want to be an adult yet. I want to enjoy, but I also feel and we ask them, hey, how much more prepared do you feel you are for when you know that time comes in your life? Um, and all of them say we feel 100% confident because now we know we didn't know all these things were required or you needed these things. Like now we understand why when we turn 18, we should protect our credit because we we need credit for everything. So that's how we um we teach financial literacy. Um, and then we bring in experts to come in. We teach them all things about building wealth starting at 18, um, how they can get you know affordable life insurance policies at 18 and build on that that wealth and showing them how they can use that. So that it's in that's how we do it. And even with the adult women, we do the same thing with them as well.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

I love that. I love that. Um you're right. The hands-on, the actual practice of doing it makes it sink in so much further. And those girls will have so much more confidence in all the other firsts that they have in their life after they've had you walk them through these few but very important things. What do you think that we can do, you and me and all the viewers out there that are watching, to try to expand this back into our schools?

SPEAKER_02 14:48

So um, and that's a great question because that's one of the things that I have been trying hard to is get this program, like an after-school program or even a curriculum in the school that can be taught um and um and bring it back into the school system. Um, one of the things that can help us tremendously is if you have the connections to um, you know, different folks within the community within the school system, because here in Maryland, there's so much bureaucracy and so much red tape that you have to go through to even, you know, get through. And I understand they have to protect the children, which is first for me. Um, but also too, when you have an organization that's trying to come in and do something constructive, you know, there should be less red tape, like um, for us to do that. So for with me, I really just need the connections and the people that know how to get to the to the right people to have these programs and then get in the buy-in from the school. Um, again, unfortunately, a lot of schools are like, I mean, that's great, but how is that going to help us get more money for what we're trying to do here um within the school system? And I'm like, yeah, that get more money is perfect. However, we need our young kids to be ready for adulthood when they turn to age 18 or they graduate from high school. I would think that's more important than you know, having more money for uh whatever it is you guys are trying to do or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you know, salaries, you know. So um, so it's really honestly is just us having the resources and people being able to connect us to the right folks. And and this is not just a state of Maryland thing. I want to take this all over. So, you know, if people know of uh schools that would be willing to have us come in and implement our curriculum and teach it, um, we would be more than um happy to do that. And another fun fact is our programs are free to the community. Um, so um we've all we're always looking for financial backing because again, some in the beginning, this all came out of my pocket. Like I was paying out of my pocket. And then even sometimes now when funding is low, I have to reach into my pocket, which I have zero problems with because I know what this is going to the impact is making for these young girls. So we're always looking for people that are willing to buy in and and fund the programs that we're doing in the community.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

I love that. And you and I definitely need to have more conversations because I have ideas based on what I've been doing with education here in Texas on how you need to go about processing into the schools. I think you've been going directly to schools, and I think you have to take a step in front of that. But um, I love the name of your organization, Beautiful as I am. So, where did the name come from? And that message is so important for these young girls. Talk a little bit more about that.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

That is a great question. Um, when I had when I first started my nonprofit, I didn't have a name. Um, I just was just again doing the work. Um, and I didn't have a name, and I went years not knowing what this name was gonna be, and I'll never forget this day. I can I can visualize, I can like physically see it. I was at a stop sign and I heard God say the organization is gonna be called beautiful. We were originally called Beautiful I Am. And I was like, I like that beautiful I am, and I'll tell you why we crossed over. Um, beautiful I am, and I said like that, and God was like, because that was your journey. You had to learn that you were beautiful just the way you are, without all of what society tells you that makes a person beautiful, and that resonated so much for me because I suffered with low self-esteem because I was never um the thin girl, I was always thicker and things like that, and I would get teased and picked on, and so um I just deemed myself as not beautiful, and then one day God revealed to me through naming this, he was like, No, you're beautiful just the way you are. Beauty comes from the inside and it exuberates outside, but that's what makes you beautiful, and so that's where that name came from. However, last year uh we got hit with a cease and desist because there was another organization called Beautiful I Am, and it was in California, and they ended up uh trademarking the name, and so we had lost our name, and um, this came during a very horrible time because I I mentioned to you I lost my mom last year. Um, we lost funding for the nonprofit, and then we lose our name. And it was another one of those moments where I'm just sitting dealing with grief, and God speaks to me and says, Look at the affirmation you have attached to your organization. He said, Go to the last sentence, and it says, Because I'm beautiful as I am. And he said, That's the name, beautiful as I am. And I said, That's even better because we teach girls, and this is the foundation, we teach girls that beauty is not just an outward expression of who you are, it's from your heart. You can be pretty, have all the glitz and glam, but if you have a nasty heart and a nasty disposition, that's all people gonna know about you. So we teach girls that beauty comes from the inside, and the way we do that is we build their confidence up. And the way we do that is by teaching them life and social skills because when they feel confident that they know what to do, they're gonna handle themselves accordingly and they're gonna see themselves as more valuable than just what people see on the outside. So um, that's where the name came from because it was something that I had to learn myself. And it is something that I uh I kind of teach and preach to my young girls and women wherever I go.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Thank you so much for what you're doing because it does make a tremendous difference. I mean, the confidence building and you you mentioned the emotional intelligence that you're giving these girls. Talk a little bit about maybe even tell us some stories of how you've been able to impact individuals. You don't have to use names, but just tell us the stories.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, so um, I remember uh the emotional intelligence is very um important to me because as an adult, um at my age, I'm I I deal with a lot of different people, a lot of adults, and I realize they don't have any emotional regulation, they can't regulate their emotions, and sometimes the adults act worse than the kids, and I call them adult temper tantrums they throw because they're not getting their way. And I'm like, did anybody teach you like how to manage that? And you know, like it's okay to be upset. I'm not saying that. Like, we are human, we have human emotions, we get upset, but what you do with those emotions is very important because that can make or break you, and so and I was one of those people who, um, because of the environment I came out of, I was a hothead, and I would just pop off and react at the drop of a dime, um, because that's Where I that's where where I was raised at I had to do that to survive so that nobody else would mess with you or pick on you. Um, but then I realized that's not gonna get you too far in life, and I realized by losing a lot of good relationships and um potential partnerships because of my hot-headedness, that that wasn't the way to go. And and so I just you know started working on being able to balance my emotions and being able to process those things, and so for me, uh that's something important. I see in a lot of young girls in our community and adult women that they don't know how to balance their emotions, they don't know how to handle, like I said before, rejection. They don't know how to cope when things don't go the way that they want it to go. And so um, I remember we had a young girl who came into our program. Um, and I remember, you know, uh her guardians telling me, like, listen, we good luck, but we have yet to be able to get through to her. And um, I remember uh one of the things that I'm big on is transparency. And so I was like, hey, I'm just gonna share my story and my and you know, share my stories with her. And also I'm gonna let her tell me her stories, and I'm gonna validate her. I'm gonna help her understand, like, you know what, you should have been upset. But the thing is, now when you're upset, what do you do after that? And helping her see like there's other ways of coping, like journaling, um, you know, like taking a step back and maybe, you know, allowing, giving yourself some time to feel your emotion, but don't react on the emotion, let yourself calm down, keep her teaching her different coping skills. And I looked at her, um, which before she left our program, she came in a firecracker and she left out just like a soft porcelain doll. Someone who was able to regulate her emotions. And the biggest thing that I've learned with these young girls with that where they don't know how to manage their emotions, it's because they don't know how to communicate their emotions. They don't know that they are not taught how to communicate how they feel, or even if they were to communicate it, they're they have learned it doesn't matter. And so what we do at Beautiful As I Am is like, no, your emotions matter, and we want to hear your emotions, but we also also need you to be open to learn how to redirect and how to handle um your emotions because emotions are very real, but emotions also are not facts either. It's how you feel in the moment because you can feel that way today, and then tomorrow you're having a great day. So you got to be able to balance it when they're when it's bad and when it's good. Um, and so that's what we do. We do a lot of emotional um regulation uh workshops for young girls and adult women, because that's one of the things I've seen women, even adult women like myself, you know, kind of fumble the bag because you don't know how to control your emotions or how you feel.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

Right. And I think that's so critically important because when you get upset, justifiably, even you get upset, right? But if you blow up, nobody's gonna help you. And so you can still be upset with the situation, but calm yourself down so that you can handle and get help with the situation. Yes. And that's so incredibly critical for kids. And and I think it's something that we need to start putting back in the education system all the way back in elementary school, right? Yes. So that like, and just like you said, teaching them how to express their emotions and validate that they feel that way, but that the reaction needs to be calmness so that they can they can get the help that they need.

SPEAKER_02 25:50

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

You know, absolutely and they can continue to speak and have a dialogue with the other person and and get what they need done. And that's so critically important. And I think it needs to go all the way back to like pre-K, kindergarten, first grade, so that they're learning the second that they have that emotion what to do with it.

unknown 26:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Right.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Obviously, you have lots of conversations with these girls, and I know that some of them come from very difficult situations, some of them are from single family homes, some of them maybe have lost their entire family. Talk a little bit about how long does this progression take? Like how you're you're starting this in ninth grade, right?

SPEAKER_02 26:32

So we start our young girls. Um, we start out with just the mentoring program, but then I realized, hey, we have a better chance of getting these girls if we start younger. So we actually start, we have a uh um, we focus on life and social skills, but we do it through reading and comprehension because one of the things here in this community is that girls were way behind in their reading and comprehension levels within um PG County, especially after COVID. Um, we had started the program before then. Um, but one of the things that I know and I understand is that when you can read and comprehend what you're reading, there is nothing you cannot do. You you can you can achieve great things if you can read and comprehend. Yeah, um, and so uh something that we've seen is that girls can they're reading, but they're not comprehending what they are uh learning, what they're reading. And so we start as young as four years old. Oh wow, because those are fundamental years. They are that's when that foundation is being prepared. Um, and so that's what made me to your point. I'm like, yeah, we you know, we can work with girls that's 12 and up, but hey, what about the young ones? You can you have a better chance of helping them bypass some of the mistakes or some of the craziness in teen years if we start young with building um their their confidence up, building up a their life and social skills, teaching those things. And so in our little beauty's book club, uh, what is so unique about it is that we pair our life and scope, life and social skills curriculum to books. So we find books that are that teach about the life and social skill that we're gonna, for instance, critical thinking. We'll find a book around critical thinking. Um, we also help them improve their vocabulary. So we pull vocabulary words out of that book to help them improve those vocabulary words. Um, and you know, we do uh exercises with them after we read the books to make sure that they're comprehending what it is that they are um they're reading. Um, so different things like, you know, having them answer a question or have them, hey, give them a prompt and make and ask them to draw uh the a response to that prompt that shows us if they're comprehending what it is that they're actually reading. And then we do an activity that helps us even further um teach them that life and social skill. Um, so again, like I said, we start at as small as four. And we have it's so interesting because this uh year, um, most of our girls who started in the program we first started has now aged out and they had to move up to the big girl um program. And they did not want to go. They were like, no, we don't want to go to the big girls. And it's like, no, it's time. We're gonna start having some tougher conversations with you girls. And so uh reluctantly, they are uh they've started um with the older girls now. Um, and now we have a new group of young girls um that come in. But I'm looking at those girls who started when they were four and five years old and looking at them now and hearing their responses, like a lot of them start, they would not speak. We don't even have to ask, they're raising their hand to give their opinion or their thought. Or if we say, hey, you need to stand up and you know give a presentation. Um, a lot of the parents, like, hey, you know, they're getting A's in their public speaking stuff, like with them having to do presentations and just seeing them make better decisions and choices of people that they're hanging around. I'm like, see, yeah, that that that's what it is. And and so, and not to say that the older girls who come in just in the mentoring program, but I have seen these girls literally transform right before my eyes. And for me, I always tell people I never get paid to do this, I will do it until the day God calls me home because my my greatest payment is to see these girls flourish in their life and and become productive uh young adult women.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

I love that. Now tell me the name of the the the four-year-old. Did you say itty bitty book club? What did you call it?

SPEAKER_02 30:32

Oh, that's actually really cute. It's but it's called Little Beauties Book Club. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

We can use that for the little ones, the itty biddies, the itty biddies, and then move up to the the little beauties. That'll be first through third, no? I love that though, and I love that you're doing the reading and the comprehension because you know, ever people ask me, Ashley, if you could change two things about education, what would it be? And I was like, that everybody can read and comprehend. Because if you can read and comprehend, you can you can take advantage of all the free education that is out there, right? You can change your life. And number two is the financial literacy, because that is what I see. Oh, we got balloons. Um, that's what I see as truly stopping those two things, I think are what are not allowing us to stop the cycle of poverty and reading, reading comprehension, and financial literacy. Like, if you can just get those two things out of school, and then next I would tell you the emotional intelligence, then the critical thinking, then the problem solving. Like, I think that should be our main focus all the way from pre-K all the way through like third or fourth grade, just those things. And you could add a little math in there too, right? But that has to come with the financial literacy.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Yeah, I agree 100%. That's a very um, I again I don't think people really understand how having those that fundamental, exactly what you said, could really make it make or break you. Um, you know, again, reading and comprehension is the fundamentals to being able to be academically sound. So if we don't have that first, then you know, we're just piling stuff on that these girls are not going to understand.

SPEAKER_00 32:22

Well, and and I think you and I talked about this number that is just this atrocious thing to me. Um, you know, the third grade reading level, they call it the school to prison pipeline. And historically, if you're not reading at a third grade level by the end of third grade, then there's an 80% chance you're gonna end up on welfare andor prison. And I just think that that is horrific and absolutely is something that we have to fix across our country, right? The fact that we are basically because we're not getting these read this reading really honed in and their comprehension really honed in by third grade means that we may lose them for the rest of their life. But I think a part that you touched on is a part of that that we're not looking at. And I think it's the communication part.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

Because if you can't communicate your feelings and you can't talk to somebody and you can't have those conversations with people, even people who are in a position of authority over you, like you have to be able to explain to them in a calm way, right? Yeah. What's happening in your life and why they should help you. And and I think that's a whole nother part of it that's like so critically important that we're just missing right now.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

I wanted to share this story with you. Um, so uh when you talk about that third grade, like that's the that's the really make or break. So by third grade, I could not read. Oh, and my mom had me in private school um from kindergarten up until second grade. I was in this private school, and um they wanted to keep me back in the second grade. And my mom had been telling them, hey, I her reading is not, I don't believe she's reading where she needs to be at. And they're like, oh, okay, okay, we'll work with her, we'll work with her. Nothing happened. They get to the end of the school year, then that's when they wanted to start taking me to the reading lab and helping me out, but they wanted to keep me back. My mother was like, Yeah, no. So she took me out of private school and put me in public school in third grade. It was very a big culture shock because I went from private school to public school, and that's a whole nother type of a different environment. But I, on top of that, me not being able to read, just opened the door, the floodgates for me to just act out. But my teacher, my mom, when she transferred me, she told the principal what was going on. The principal said, I'm gonna, we're gonna help her. They gave me this reading specialist. I cannot remember this lady's name to save my life. This lady pulled me out of class every day, and she said, she told me my first session where she said, Tamika, when I finish with you, you are going to be reading on a sixth grade reading level. I promise you this. They ended up putting me back into they I had to go into a first and second grade reading class when my other classmates was in third grade reading, and then I had this special help with my teacher. By the time she finished with me, I was on an eighth grade reading level and comprehension level. So again, that's the power of that help that these women and young girls, these young girls need. And hence that's why we have our programs because a lot of some of the schools don't even have that, they don't have the funding to even invest into that. And then the parents don't have the money to send them to these, you know, expensive learning centers to get their child to get the help that they need. Like you said, now that child is left behind, and we're moving them on through the school system, but yet they don't even know the basic reading and comprehension skills. So, um, again, I credit that lady, and I can't, I I wish I could remember her name. She worked with me every single day.

SPEAKER_00 36:04

That's amazing. I mean, and that truly shows how important the teachers are, and I think they're so critically important. And the really good teachers are just phenomenal, and they can, they can get down to that level and speak directly to that child. But this is another thing that I think is missing today. We have decided that we're being too hard on kids, and so we're lowering our expectations. And that teacher, she told you, you have to do the work, but I'm going to be here with you, and you're going to be doing this at a sixth grade level. And you went on to be at an eighth grade level because she raised the expectations for you. And I think that that's so critically important that we be setting our expectations for these children high, not saying, oh, you're poor, or oh, um, you come from a bad situation and lowering them, but saying you're capable, you can do this. I know you can. I'm going to be right here with you. Yeah. And setting high expectations for every child. I think Mina, my grandmother had a saying. She said, children will raise up to or down to your expectations. And I think it's so incredibly important that we set high expectations for kids.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Look at me. Well, look at look at what you did. I mean, you went from being at a first or second grade level all the way to eighth grade reading and comprehension in one year with the right teacher and the right answer and the right expectations, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

And so, so important. Um, okay, so your program starts at age four, goes all the way through high school, but you're also working with ladies because as you've noticed, we've spent 15 or 20 years of academia not teaching these skills to these kids, right? Um, but you you touched on a little bitty thing and you touched on the importance of parenting. Now, here in Texas, when I try and work on legislation and I go to the legislature with a great bill or to support somebody else's great bill, I oftentimes get the pushback, well, Ashley, it doesn't matter because there's not parent involvement, right? And they they there are all these studies that show that the number one factor in whether a child will be successful in education is parent involvement. The second factor and the first one that schools can touch on is teacher engagement. We just talked about the importance of that. What are you thinking? Obviously, parents in your community are bringing their children to you, so they're obviously involved. But what can you do or what are you doing in your program to teach these young girls how to be better parents?

SPEAKER_02 38:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:31

Because I think it's so critically important for our future.

SPEAKER_02 38:34

Yeah. So one of the things um that I experienced early on in our program, and even still somewhat today, there are just some parents who are doing everything in their power to make sure that their children are taken care of. They're working multiple jobs. Some are single parents, some are both parent household and with the economy, they are just doing everything. They're exhausting everything they can.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

Well, and it's not always the parents' fault that they're not more involved, like you're saying, because they're so busy trying to just put a roof over the head and food in the belly, and that takes all the time. And that's that's so much the importance of the village, right? The village that you're creating and the the grandparents and the the the grandfathers who are out there re-engaging and getting re-involved.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

Yes. And so uh to my point, what I was you you hit it right there, these parents are doing everything they can. And when they get a little break on a Saturday, if they have that, because some of them work the weekends, yeah. They want that little bit of time and they deserve that little bit of time to themselves, just to really just to take a nap, maybe. Um, just to re you know, do something to help them be able to energize themselves to go and do. And so sometimes there are parents um that they just don't, you know, hey, I want my child to be involved with this, but I don't have a way of getting to them. Tell them where you live at, we'll come get them. Um, so like that we we're working to try to incorporate uh transportation because that's sometimes the biggest issue for getting the girls to the programs. But then there's other side. And I hate to shine light on it, but it's the truth and it needs to be talked about. There are parents that say, well, she don't want to come, so I'm not gonna force her. Or um, I don't feel like getting out of my bed to take her anywhere. And so now she's sitting at home doing nothing where she could be at a program getting some, you know, impactful skills that could help them.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

And I'll tell you what's worse is they end up on the screens, right? Which we're just seeing disastrous effects on children with these screens.

SPEAKER_02 40:48

Yes, yes, and that's the other thing. And so now what happens is they're being their mindset or their idea of what life is and morals and values is being shaped by what they see on that phone on social media. And um, we all know that social media, I always tell people, social media is a great thing when it's in the right hands. Social media is a horrible thing when it's in the wrong hands of people. Um, and so in these young kids, they don't their brains are not formed yet to understand what is real and what is fake. Whatever they see, they deem it as real. That's how it is. And a lot of times that's and it's not how it is. And so you have those two things when you're dealing with the young girls. But one of the ways that for us, um, what we try to do is um that transportation piece and incentives. So in the beginning, it was hard for me to get girls to come to the program. So I started had to incentivize. I like listen, if you come to the program, we'll give you a Chick-fil-A gift card or a Chipotle gift card, or we'll even give you $20 because we know the value of these kids coming um for that, and then for that group of children where the parents are not like really involved. And those girls, once they started coming, yeah, they would get the incentive, but then they were like, no, I really want to come. Like, hey, mom, don't forget this Saturday is Baez meeting. Can you sign me up? Um, or can you call Miss Tamika so we can get transportation? And then there's the other ones or other kids who parents are like, no, I I need this extra support. Um, because I can tell, and I hear this a lot from um parents that hey, we tell them this all the time, but we know how more powerful it is when it comes from somebody outside of us. And that was true for me, even even for me. Like my mom and my dad, they talked to me and told me everything. But when somebody outside of them told me, I'm like, yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

That sounds about right. Your village is so important. My kids think I'm the stupidest person they know. And I need my friends, my mentors pouring into my children so that they hear the things I was saying, but they hear it in a different way and they accept it from someone else.

SPEAKER_02 42:56

Exactly. And so um, again, that's where where via the village comes in because we are able to reinforce. But one of the things that we do is in working with the parents, we have town hall meetings for the parents and we um ask them um to come. We actually sometimes make it a requirement that you have to before when you apply to be in this program, you're gonna attend the town hall meetings. And so um it's there where we express, hey, it's important for you guys not to just sign your kids up, but actually follow through. Because what you're showing them is that it's okay to sign up for something and don't show up just because it's free. That's a horrible um characteristic to teach a child because they become adults who start doing that. And then when you are, when you have events or you're doing things like this, and um, you know, you're wondering why people are not showing up to you. Like it's just that that horrible cycle that we teach our young girls and and teaching the parents how, hey, it's important for you guys to, you know, um participate in outreach that we're doing with your child because that creates that relationship. So For us, that parenting part or guardian, whoever it is that's responsible for bringing them, we do impress upon them that it's important for you to be involved, um, you know, uh uh and making sure that the show that you support them in this because they're more than likely gonna want to be involved even more because they know that mommy um and daddy supports this or grandma or whatever. But again, that village outside of us is start that foundation stars at home. Um, and that's another thing that we um I I was dealing with early on. It's like, oh, we're teaching these girls these things, but then they go back into certain environments with their parents and it's like unraveling. And I've had had have had to have hard conversations with moms and dads, and like, hey, you're sending them here because you know the the importance of them getting these life and social skills, but you're doing more damage when they go back home and you are exemplifying the exact thing we're trying to teach them not to be. So you're gonna be required to change too. You're gonna have to, you know, kind of maybe come and take some of our classes and learn how to not be, because it starts at home. They the learning starts at home, and if they see you doing that, they're like, What's the point of me learning this here? Because not all kids are able to identify and say, all right, you know what? Mommy and daddy actually are doing it wrong because they they're with their parents. So um we do that's why the adult portion of our program, which is the I Am Beautiful Women's Circles, is so important. And we do do parenting classes, like we have experts come. Um, we do this workshop about um your daughter's a teen now, how to parent. Um, because it is different parenting a teenager or pre-teen versus when they were, you know, younger. So we do do classes with that, and we work with experts and helping the um, you know, the moms and the parents understand how to deal with that transition because it is a you know, I I've been there, so I know what I gave my parents.

SPEAKER_00 46:02

I I too was not my easiest self when I was, I remember 15 was horrible. It's a horrible year for me. I'd been an athlete and I'd injured myself and I thought my whole world was collapsing, and and it felt like it was, and I lashed out at everyone around me, right? And and where I'd been a very uh rule follower and whatever, I was like, well, that didn't work because I lost everything I wanted. And so all of a sudden I was like, Well, I'm gonna try the other way. And that also was not that was worse. Thankfully, I realized that quickly and um can't kind of came back in line. But those teen years are hard years, they are, they are, and I know I've got I've got two teens right now that I'm trying to shepherd through that time, and I regularly want to pull my hair out, so um it's uh that's kind of a norm.

SPEAKER_02 46:55

Yeah, yeah, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_00 46:57

And then also and therefore the importance of the village, because when you want to pull your hair out, you're like, here, you take them for a while.

SPEAKER_02 47:04

Yeah, and not only that, one of the things that we saw is that the moms started to come together and support one another. So it's we're we're teaching these things, but also we're creating an environment where like you guys can share stories and and get encouragement for one another.

SPEAKER_00 47:18

So share each other's time so that you can have a break. Send your children to go be with them for a little bit, you have a break, and the next thing they send with you and and they have a break. And yep.

SPEAKER_02 47:30

So that village concept is is all over our organization and what we do.

SPEAKER_00 47:35

And it's so, so critically important. Thank you for all of that. All right, Tamika. Um, our time is wrapping up. Is there anything that we haven't touched on that you want to make sure people hear? And then ultimately, I want you to tell everyone how to get a hold of you.

SPEAKER_02 47:50

Sure. Um, I think the biggest uh uh thing that I would love to live leave with your listeners is that it doesn't take a huge program to make a change in your community. You can start working with one or two young kids, you know, um, that you see in your community that may not have those life and social skills that we've talked about here today. And you could just start spending time with them, taking them to the library. It does not take a lot. Um, as a matter of fact, for me, it started off I was working with three girls that has transitioned into this. Um, now this is my passion. And not you everybody doesn't have the same, you know, bandwidth or time, but you you'll be surprised that one little thing that you do that can transform that young person's life and help them, you know, be more successful. So I just want to encourage people, just find something that you can do, even if it's volunteering at your child's school once a week and saying, Hey, I'm gonna lead a group on, you know, problem solving. I don't know. Um, that that little thing that that seems so small, but it's gonna be so impactful as they grow and they age and they become, you know, adults and they uh journey through life. So I would love for people to kind of pick up and just help them. Um, and then we can see great change happen in our community. And that's my goal too, even if I never had this nonprofit, this is what I would be doing um with all um with everyone because I just believe I know the power of helping and pouring into a person. And so I just want to encourage people to just pour into someone um in some little small way that it would grow to be, it will blossom into a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

SPEAKER_00 49:32

Well, and we never even got into the fact that you have three degrees an associate, a bachelor, and a master's in theology. So I think I think that your program would also be a perfect fit in churches for them to be offering these services to their community. You know, and so so how do people, individuals, churches, people who want to help support your program, people who want to figure out how to take your program and bring it back to their communities, how do they get a hold of you?

SPEAKER_02 50:04

So you can visit our website at www.baiainc.org. And on that webpage, you will learn everything, how to partner with us, how to uh donate, how to um get in contact with me. Um, and the email address is there. You can send us an email. Um, I will reach back out to you personally and just put that, you know, hey, I saw you on the podcast. I would love to bring you my curriculum because um, and we didn't get a chance to touch on this, how our curriculum has expanded to Nairobi, Kenya. Um, we're teaching life and social skills there as well. So we're able to train people to um be able to implement our program in their community. Um, and again, I don't see this just being a Maryland-based, I see this being worldwide and having little beauty hubs um where we're not just focusing on the beauty, we work, we're focusing on the person and building them up. So you can um, you know, go to our website. We are on all social media platforms as beautiful as I am, Inc., and you can find um information there and learn about what it is that we're doing, and you can connect with us there as well.

SPEAKER_00 51:15

Well, Tamika, thank you so much, and thank you for being a village to so many women um throughout your community and and also in Kenya. But let's let's get this to spread across the United States because I think this can help so, so many people, and it can truly change lives and take just disrupt disrupt the poverty uh in its track. So thank you so much. And um, I hope that you'll come back and give us updates on how things are going in the future. Absolutely. We'll love to do that. Thank you again, and thanks to everyone watching today. We hope that you'll tune in for more information on how we plan to change the education in our children's future. We'll see you next time.