Lipstick & Legacy
This podcast is all about women who serve to build better communities and the legacy we’re all building—one story at a time.”
Lipstick & Legacy
Alicia Bush: Rising Through Impossible Odds
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Alicia Bush is a survivor, musician, advocate, and proud mother whose life is a testament to resilience, faith, and purpose. After surviving human trafficking, domestic violence, cancer, a stroke, and numerous chronic and rare health conditions, Alicia has dedicated her life to helping others find hope in their darkest moments.
For more than two decades, she has served the Nevada community through music, volunteerism, and advocacy, performing at veterans’ events, community festivals, fundraisers, and charitable causes throughout the state. Her platform, Heal Loudly: Hope, Awareness, and Resilience, encourages survivors to transform pain into purpose and reminds those facing trauma, illness, or adversity that they are not alone.
In 2025, Alicia released “Someone Saved Me,” a self-written and performed music video sharing the first chapter of her story and her journey toward healing through faith. Through her speaking, music, and community outreach, she continues to be a voice for the voiceless and a source of encouragement for those navigating life’s most difficult challenges.
Alicia lives in Nevada with her husband, Cameron, and is the proud mother of two sons. Her message is simple but powerful: no matter what obstacles stand before you, hope remains, healing is possible, and yes—you can rise.
Welcome to Lipstick and Legacy, a podcast where your story matters and your journey has purpose. Together we lift and inspire our communities one story at a time. Today I have Alicia Bush with me. I recently was able to see her compete in a pageant on stage, and I got a snippet of her story, just like a 30-second snippet. And I thought she is going to be somebody to interview and to definitely watch. Welcome, Alicia. Hi. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Thank you for having me. It's an honor. Truly.
SPEAKER_00You're welcome. I've been looking at some of your social media, and you sent me over a video of a song that you wrote, and I'm just really excited to share your story, your experience in a way that can possibly help somebody else through the things that you've endured. Alicia, for somebody who doesn't know who you are, doesn't know you, who is Alicia Bush?
SPEAKER_01For me, I represent resilience and hope. At this point, it used to be strength and independence, but truly resilience and hope is something that I really, really want to portray so that others that see me and see what I've done and see the things that I do can say, you know what, if she can do it, I can do it. And just gather that hope of not giving up on yourself, not thinking you're any less, not letting anything stop you.
SPEAKER_00Beautiful. Where are you from? Tell me a little bit about the young Alicia. What it what did your childhood look like?
SPEAKER_01So childhood was pretty standard. Grew up in the 90s. So I got to do all the fun things without a cell phone following me around, or the evidence is what I would say. I spent my childhood, childhood years in Las Vegas down on Washington and Jones. And then around middle school, I moved out to Overton and then kind of stayed out here, graduated out here in Moppa Valley High. And then unfortunate situations happened. There's been blessings in the unfortunate situations, but I've been between here and Mexico for the past 20 years.
SPEAKER_00So people who don't know the Las Vegas area, there's the metropolitan Las Vegas area. And then there's these kind of outlying, I don't even know if you could call them suburbs. They're like small towns that are just in the middle of the desert. And we call them Overton, Moapa. There's one called Perop. So if you're not familiar with the landscape, so she lived probably 45 minutes from Las Vegas. That's where you did your teenage years. All right. What has really shaped you into the woman that you've become? I do want to get into your story, and maybe you can can start where you want to, where you where you feel it's appropriate to start with your story.
SPEAKER_01Well, it shaped me and the woman that I have become. Honestly, a lot of things. Um, it started with the surviving trauma, extreme trauma. It it when I was 18, I was kidnapped and trafficked, and just that alone um turned into survival mode.
SPEAKER_00Okay, hold on a second. So we this is where I'm gonna stop. I've already stopped you. It's like four minutes into it. At 18, I was um sex trafficked and kidnapped. Tell me a little bit about this if you feel comfortable. Tell me what happened and how you ended up in this situation. In a sense.
SPEAKER_01So coming from Overton, straight out of high school, I uh was gonna go to cosmetology school, and I think I don't remember the school that I was signed up for, but I was signed up for a school in St. George, and I was working for Denny's, and there was a woman there, and I was slowly but surely um groomed and that innocence because everybody is looking for that guy that's gonna kidnap you, or that huge scene that all of a sudden you just get grabbed out of a car, grabbed out of a bar, or drugged. That's not how it happened. Um, I was invited to a party after she had gotten to know me for about a month. And because I knew her for a month, I'm like, oh, why not? Let's go to a party, and you know, as a young teen, yes, I wanted to rebel. And she's like, Oh, there's gonna be alcohol there. I'm gonna invite her, we're gonna have a good time. Well, really, what happened is I was shoved into a room and um great over and over again.
SPEAKER_00Did you know this woman? Um, did she work with you or was she a customer coming in? Like, how did that relationship develop?
SPEAKER_01She worked, and it was almost like a mothering thing where she cared and she wanted to let me let loose, and and um I was a quiet kid. I went through a lot of things uh in my childhood, and having a friend, she just it was like having a friend and the innocence of letting that person um know too much about me and not having any guard. I was just one of those, as you've seen in the pageant, I am one of those just kind of I'd say an orange cat, just throw myself in there and kind of love everybody.
SPEAKER_00But also, I think at 18 or 19 years old, you know, why wouldn't you trust your coworker that works with you that you see every day?
SPEAKER_01A 40-year-old woman. I mean, out of anybody. I and she didn't look anything but like a 40-year-old woman waitress, just a standard person.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so take me forward a little bit. So you go to this party. Um, I know in your music video that you shared with me, it's it's very powerful, it's very heavy. Um, but it shows beautifully in just a few minutes, kind of it tells your story. And so did she grab you? Does a man grab you, put you in this room? Like, how did if you're okay talking about it, if you're not, that's fine too. How did you end up in this room?
SPEAKER_01So going into the party, I was told to walk in to the door shut behind me. And that was the first customer. I was mortified in shock. My innocence has been taken away from me. I learned right then and there that the world is cruel sometimes. I was locked in the room when he left. And then just more people came in and in.
SPEAKER_00So this was the start of captivity?
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00This was the very beginning, and and so the grooming happened to build a relationship. I think this is important too. I I appreciate your vulnerability here. I can only imagine how difficult it is to talk about this, but the courage that you have to talk about it may help somebody to avoid the situation or that grooming phase as well. I'm a mother of four daughters, of 10 children total, but you know, you just worry about your kids out there all the time. Um, so you're you have this woman, you've created this relationship of some sorts, you're instantly thrown into this room and into this new world that you couldn't even imagine due to your nativity, um, due to your innocence, and just being being a young girl. How did the next few weeks, months, years progress for you? What did that look like?
SPEAKER_01So after that first event, um I did try to leave. She told me that she would murder my family. And because we had built that relationship over a month, she knew where they were at, she knew who they were, knew their address, she'd already looked them all up, and I actually sadly had to call my parents and disown them. Um she always had a weapon on the table. I had my own vehicle at the time, but she would drive it, and sometimes she'd even make me go to work so that people wouldn't look for me. It was a very strange, um, hard situation. A lot of people don't realize when somebody is under captive, it's not necessarily that they get locked in a room the whole time. Sometimes they're brought out in the public, but you don't know what's in the car behind them, you don't know what's in that woman's purse that's walking behind them. Um what the later weeks looked like was just pure abuse. Um, as I portray in the video, which is the easiest way to say it once and just kind of share it that way. Um, this is a little bit harder. Uh finally, there was a day where I just had had enough and I knew I was gonna either die because I'm gonna get murdered, or I'm gonna die escaping. And uh I chose I chose life.
SPEAKER_00I'd have to say that how long was this going on for? What was the time frame?
SPEAKER_01I was it was August at the first event, and I escaped in the winter. So not quite a year. Not quite a year. I just I um I just remember it being really cold and I was frail and naked and fit outside of some bars in the window and I waited for her to pass out because she had a heroin addiction. I knew she had numbers of people and customers in her wallet. And I knew that I had to get far so she couldn't catch me because I already had escaped once. I was viciously tortured for it, so I didn't want to get captured again. I called the number, I escaped out the window, and I left in a vehicle with that man. A man I didn't know, a man I didn't speak the language of.
SPEAKER_00And unfortunately, I married him. How did you choose him? Was it just random or did you is it somebody that you knew?
SPEAKER_01It was one of the worst, yeah, most frequent customers. But in my head, being tortured by one person that I at least knew what he was capable of, opposed to being tortured by many, because they didn't just ask for favors, we'll keep it G-rated. Sometimes they wanted to know what the human body could go through before it passed out.
SPEAKER_00Sorry. Okay, if you need to take a minute or if this is too much, that's fine too.
SPEAKER_01It needs to be said. That's why I started this. But yeah. He was one of the lesser offenders. And when you're that broken, I knew that he called all the time, so maybe he would pick me up and want me.
SPEAKER_00Where this was located, was it really isolated? It sounds as though it was pretty isolated.
SPEAKER_01It was all in St. George, it was all in St. George, right? I don't know if it's the economy in still, but there was an apartment complex in Ivans, I think she was at. And it was a low-income. A lot of the time I was blindfolded um in the vehicle so that I didn't know how to get to certain places. If it wasn't in her apartment complex, there was a building that I only saw the basement of. Um, I actually there is a lawsuit against um the motel sticks, but unfortunately, because my issues happened back in 2006 when names and everything were not put on a computer, um, I'll advocate all day long. I will advocate all day long, but I will get nothing of it. And that's fine. That's not what I'm here for. I'm here to stop another young woman from going through the same thing. But to continue on to what the the life looked like, I um ended up pregnant. Uh what I know now through therapy was just continuous at that point, marital rape, because he went down and we loped and he wanted me to start his paperwork. Um he got deported in the middle of it. And when he got deported, I was held captive again by another person. At gunpoint, I uh escaped there and then grabbed a bus, and the only person I knew was him. So I actually ended up in Chihuahua just a young 18-year-old woman on a bus, pregnant, scared, running for her life to a perpetrator.
SPEAKER_00Um and I immigrated him, and I um so I think what people um need to know too is that where you're talking about, I I did live in St. George for a short period of time, but in in those surrounding areas, this is a town, this is a city, this isn't like out in the middle of nowhere. This is happening while people are going to the grocery store and staying on family vacations at the motel and different things are happening around you. I've seen a lot of these stories. I watch a lot of you know, documentaries and listen to women's stories. And unfortunately, what you're saying isn't completely unfamiliar to that style of story. You could be living in a regular neighborhood, being held captive, and the rest of the world is just going along outside. And that's a really incredible thing for people to think about and to try to understand, which I totally get. I totally get it in some ways. Um, the way you're telling it is very poignant, and it it's definitely going, it's definitely resonating. It is as it is with me. So, what happened after you got to Mexico? Like, what's the time frame here look like?
SPEAKER_01I ended up in Mexico, and like I said, um, it's not I that I didn't have good parents. I had good parents, and I had I had a standard childhood. It's it's what I had to do and what I had to say that hurt them so bad that they really thought that I wanted nothing to do with them. So they didn't look.
SPEAKER_00Because they thought you had cut ties with them. They said, Oh, we're gonna go let her do her thing. Obviously, she wants no relationship with us, and you had portrayed that very well to them.
SPEAKER_01I sacrificed myself because I didn't want him to get hurt. But I ended up in Mexico and and how I got back to the states was when I was pregnant with my son, I started getting really, really sick. I wasn't being fed. I I wasn't necessarily living in the best conditions. I can imagine. I can say his mother was always very kind to me. I I will always remember that. And being the language barrier at the time, I I learned I learned Spanish in Mexico um forcefully, because you have to. I did it to survive. But it was very broken at that time. So the language barriers to be able to protect myself were none. Um, the only person that could speak for me was the one that was against me. So as they looked at it, I was just um prostitute that followed him to Mexico, and nobody knew that it really was just a missing innocent person. Um so when he would abuse me and hit me in front of them because he was the only one that could speak for me, it was always validated. And unfortunately, because of how broken I was, I started to believe that validation. But I didn't like I said, I I started to get sick and I didn't want to lose my son, and the family actually started to panic that I was gonna die on them, and and then what were they gonna do if they got caught with me in their house, so they allowed me to call my parents. And my parents hopped in a vehicle and they drove all the way down to Mexico big meal. They were still mad because of what had been said. But they had no clue when I got back to the States because of the abuse and because of what I now understand as Stockholm syndrome, and that is something that I have to advocate. It is I know from the outside looking in, when you say why didn't you just leave? People don't understand what it is when you do leave. I thought in my head that there was something that I could do to fix this, maybe I could fix him and make this a Cinderella story, and maybe he would change and we would have a great family. So for some reason in my head, I created that and that became the story for 10 years. I am a great hair fan. 10 years I was married to him. 10 years of abuse. As you can tell, I wear my hair to one side, I will always wear my hair to that side due to the abuse. It started with um I found out I had cancer in my cervix and uterus when I was oh, we made it back to the states.
SPEAKER_00So this is during that time, that same last time that's why you were sick, or is the sickness from the pregnancy and just being malnourished and things like that?
SPEAKER_01So, do when I say I was kidnapped and abused in that little time, I when I say tortured, I was cut in areas that are put it lightly. I found out that there are people in the human race that are um just horrible people. But due to the scarring and due to the constant abuse, um the scarring and my cervix and uterus created cancer. Um once again, going to therapy afterwards and everything. Uh the Stockholm Syndrome. I thought having another kid fix things would make it better. Having another kid, being a better wife, taking on another job, earning more money, I I just was killing myself. And then I'd come home just to abuse, just constant, constant being told that I am just the prostitute that he found, and that due to the scars, due to being semi-maimed, doing to having that trauma that I would die alone if I didn't have him. So unfortunately, um after years of that and only hearing that you believe it. Um but as I continue, uh I uh ended up with cancer. Um in one of the events because immigration is a long process, I was moving back and forth to Mexico. I would live there, and then when he would spend all the money, I would have to come back to the States for about two weeks and hold down whatever job I could. I even shaved my head to sell my hair one time. Um convinced that maybe if I earned a little bit more money, or maybe if I got his paperwork done, or maybe if I worked harder, learned how to cook, learned Spanish, I'd I'd if I could become this perfect woman that I could make this picket fence thing happen. Um when I was in Mexico, uh one of the visits that I spent with him, he got irate. Um, I worked in a liquor store down there, and I was robbed, and I wasn't stabbed hard. I have a scar on my rib. Um I was holding my son, and my son at that time was about two. And a man came in, and as people that still things do, um, he had a butt knife that was about it was like 12 inches long, and he came up behind me and he had the butt knife to my rib cage. And what saved me and my son was an old cranky drunk. And I mean, it's funny and not, you gotta find humor in what it is, but that old cranky drunk who demanded his cheap wine made everybody so uncomfortable because he would not leave, even though the guy was standing behind me and he was holding me there, and I'm making all sorts of faces that I can, like help something. And nope, that drunk old man just wanted his alcohol. And so the guy backed up a little bit so I could get the alcohol and get him out of there so he could steal the register and steal the money and steal what he wanted. And because he backed up, when the guy left, he went running so that he wouldn't get caught. And um, I mean, that was the first time I ever fought for myself, but it was really for my son. I took my son next door, who was a friend, and she sold shrimp and and what they call Marisco's next door, and I told her to hold on to him for a minute, and I went running after him, like I was gonna do something or I was gonna fight for myself. I didn't catch him, but he was caught down the street, and the cops caught him, and then the next weekend I actually saw him walking free, and I started yelling at the cops that why is this man free? He stabbed me. I showed you, I went and and called him in, and because my Spanish was so broken, they just assumed I was uneducated, so I looked like an uneducated drunk, and that's what my husband told them to not worry about it. Long story short, I found out in the end he's the one that sent him there because he had a girlfriend there and they wanted to get rid of me, but I'm too stubborn to go away. Um, but he that day in front of them beat the living hell out of me. I I wouldn't stop yelling at the cops because I was mad that my life, my son's life, was almost taking over $40. And he grabbed me by the hair and he hit me so hard in the face. And his sister was there, and after he hit me in the face, I went down, and then she started kicking me in the face. And I got up and I thought, and I lived. But going back to the cancer story because I thought that I could save this crazy I don't I am so sad that I wasted so much life, but I do know why. But with a cancer, they allowed me to try and have a kid. Did I ever tell them that my face got beaten and it wasn't fixed, and and then I possibly could have had scar tissue in my head. No. So I ended up having a stroke in 2012, and the stroke was due to the scar tissue in my head. Um, thankfully, for my age, it the clock passed. Um it was it's been a very, very taxing weekend. So as you can tell, I do have my hair and my makeup a little covering my flaw. But when I'm tired is really the only time you can tell. Yes.
SPEAKER_00And so, how many children did you have with your that that man, your spouse, um, during that 10-year span?
SPEAKER_01So I had the first one, which is my son Victor, who I'm so proud of. And eight years later, I had Elvis. Um, the cancer started to progress, and because of the stroke, I would have about 20 seizures a day, and I just my health really started to go downhill. And one thing that I have to share when you sponsor an immigrant, you sign paperwork with the US, and that paperwork states that you cannot become any kind of debt or burden for until that person can be their own sponsor. So I could not apply for help when I lost jobs or anything, so I was kind of left without insurance. I had little skurts of insurance through jobs, and unfortunately, um that is where the health issue started, but never really got fixed.
SPEAKER_00Not didn't get resolved. How was your relationship during this 10 years with your family, if you don't mind just giving a kind of a brief explanation about that?
SPEAKER_01So when we moved back, we moved back here to Overton because it was the only place I knew of, and and because I didn't want to relive my trauma, I was very, very good at smiling outside of the house. I became an absolute master at covering cruises, scars, uh what clothes to wear, um making excuses, and it was easy because I was a feral kid. Um, I I was definitely a tomboy. So, as far as my parents knew, if I had a new bruise or anything, as a kid, I always had a new bruise. I always was jumping off stuff and trying new things. Um, as a teenager, I continued to do that. I dirt biked, I raced.
SPEAKER_00Anything that it seems as though you have that free spirit about you, just in the few minutes I've seen of you. You have this very like free spirit, the soul that just wants to explore. So I could see how that would be your norm in a sense.
SPEAKER_01And it was, and and that became the sad excuse. Um, my parents didn't see me for I came back for a wedding after that event where my face was literally just demolished. Um I still a month later had a lot of bruising. I still was very purple on that side. I told my parents when I came back, I'm like, oh, don't worry about it. You know how Mexico is. I went to a uh party and they had a metal mechanical bowl and I smacked my face on it, but it's okay, don't worry about it. And because that is something that I would have done, there was no questions asked. I dropped it there.
SPEAKER_00So you were very good at covering the behavior up of your spouse at that time. So fast forward a little bit, how how did you make your way out? How did you end up leaving? What what was what were those circumstances?
SPEAKER_01I was embarrassed. That's how I got out. It it kind of started with fighting for my kids, but the fighting for my kids was more so, oh, I gotta cover up what he is. They can't lose their dad, they can't know what he really is. I can't allow that to be their reality because I chose to have kids with a very bad man. Um, my um my youngest is a product of a horrible rape experience with my spouse. I was not supposed to have relations because I had cancer and it was really bad. I actually was supposed to get a hysterectomy the day I I went in for that blood test before you go get a hysterectomy just to double check. And you were pregnant, and I was pregnant. I was only two weeks pregnant, but I was pregnant because he knew that I was going through surgery. Um he made us go to a hotel so nobody would hear me, so he could take advantage of me for the last time before I got everything surgically removed. Anyways, uh from that, I I just want to make the announcement that my kids, I being that I did have to have a hysterectomy right after my son was born. If there's anything to be thankful for, I am so happy I have them. They are my world. Um, but they they were the start. It was first fighting for them, and then um my ex did leave. He found a new family for like three seconds in 2016, and it was my escape route. I it it was a weird experience.
SPEAKER_00You saw a window of opportunity basically.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I saw the I mean he used the excuse of you're gonna die anyway, so I need to find somebody else. Um, because like I said, at that time I was having a lot of seizures. I still was working. There were there's a restaurant here in Overton called Sugars, and they they were very accommodating. And I'm sure half the time they had no clue that there would be times I knew a seizure was coming. I had auras, and I would hide in the back room. Um, so they would watch over me and I'd have a seizure and then walk right back out, like nothing happened because I had to keep going. I had to feed my kids, I had to make life work.
SPEAKER_00Um how did you get away? Like what did that window of opportunity look like for you?
SPEAKER_01It was getting divorced.
SPEAKER_00So you were able while he was gone for a brief time to find your footing? No.
SPEAKER_01No, it was very, very, very planned. When I saw, I didn't tell him that I knew way ahead of time that he had found another family. But he said he had a job offer in New Mexico. I'm like, okay, you have a job offer. Oh, all right. Well, you know how I'm sick, I'm gonna die anyway. We might want to sign these divorce papers before you go. Um, I signed that if because in the end I bought the house, I'm was the only one ever with income during that time and working. I made him sign that I get the house so that he doesn't have to pay child support. And that's he was all excited on not having ties, not having to pay child support, not having to do all those things. And so I I even my dad, I had my family so convinced that nothing was going on that my dad offered him a truck to get there, and he left. Um, the issue is in a year later he made it back. Um what happened at that point? I was so broken. I was so broken. He had destroyed the house so much, and as a single parent, I had no help. I was working myself to death, trying to feed two kids, trying to make things work, lying to everybody and telling everybody I didn't need help and that I was fine, and really, I would just I still was having seizures. I would hide it from my kids. I didn't want to lose my license or my ability to work, so I just kept going. And then when he called, because he had nowhere to go, there was a point due to certain religious beliefs, that I was convinced that because I brought him here and I married him, that I needed to fix it. And because of how broken I was. I tried again. The abuse got so bad when he came back the second time that me and my kids were living in my master bedroom with one bathroom. Half the time I'd escape out the window to be able to leave. And he was living in my son's room in order to officially escape. Once again, I saw the window because he was looking at other women, but I was too afraid to try it again. In 2017, Chet Buchanan answered a phone call that changed my life. It was kind of a cool turnaround to be able to tell him at the pageant that he is the reason I'm alive.
SPEAKER_00So can you tell people who are listening to this who Chet is, who Chet Buchanan is?
SPEAKER_01He at that time was a radio talk show host. Amazing, amazing person. The question on the field was Is cheating forgivable? Um, he had to take me off the radio. It never hit the radio art conversation. Because I called in my messed up, traumatic head, and I fought for my ex. I told them that it's okay to cheat because I was gonna die anyway. And uh I was helping him to be able to live without me. And um he pulled me off the radio and said, We can't do this. And he said, You need to go to therapy, and you are crazy to think that. And I fought him. I said, How dare you say that?
SPEAKER_00Like, you know, nothing about me other than this phone call, right?
SPEAKER_01Like, wow. And that day I came home to my ex starting the physical abuse with my oldest son just because he was drunk, and my son didn't want to take a picture with him, and because I saw that happen in my son, I knew then and there I was not gonna let it happen to them. I knew it had to be safe because I knew leaving him would make my life a living hell.
SPEAKER_00So, was this the first time that you had seen physical abuse to your children that was severe in that way? And I knew it wouldn't be the end. Just the beginning of a new trauma, of a new broken person.
SPEAKER_01With my tax return, I bought a truck and a trailer, and I moved him to St. George. I paid for his rental spot. Then I dropped him off and I drove home. Me and my kids were finally three, or so we thought. This is where a lot of women don't leave. The abuse got worse. I would come home from work and he'd be sitting in the living room. I learned that custody loss, unless you have ten thousand dollars, when you sign that divorce decree saying that he's got equal custody.
SPEAKER_02He will.
SPEAKER_00So I don't know you, I don't know your husband. I was at this pageant just as a viewer, and I was sitting in a row next to your family and your husband, and he kept screaming, that's my life. And I'm like, this man loves that woman. I don't know these people, but he loves her. And it was very obvious and focal, which I truly appreciated in that moment. So tell me how that went with um you're like leaving one horrible relationship that is kind of snowballed from this all things horrible, right? All things traumatic, the worst things a person can ever imagine. And you meet this new guy. What does this look like?
SPEAKER_01So, I mean, he has his own story, which in the end is why we're best friends. But he ended up out here to take care of his grandmother. And like I said, his story is his to tell. But his life wasn't perfect in and out here. It was quite the road. But he was working for a place called Recon in a teardown. And I was DJing. That's one of the things that I am blessed with due to my music. I was always able to get side work and jobs and DJ and bring my systems and get that amount to pay my bills. And in the little bar out here called uh Wild Country, that was one of my regular spots to go DJ and do karaoke music. And uh it was also kind of like the after where they would all go after work. And I was always known because of that trauma. I became the most what I would say, I don't know if you've seen Yellowstone, but the character Tater, that was my personality. I did not want to be touched, I did not want to be dealt with. I may look pretty, but don't touch me. I get it. Yes. The whole I I went completely opposite of what I don't know how to say there, I guess they call it the host age where you act. But I I just because of that trauma, everybody knew me at that bar of you can't take her home. There's you could try whatever you want to do, but that woman, she'd end up stabbing you if you tried to take you home.
SPEAKER_00And you had boundaries, solid boundaries, yes.
SPEAKER_01I was never ever gonna be a victim again, ever. And so he tried. He was so nice. He tried, and we actually became friends first because he just that was their hangout, and that's where I worked, and we finally started having conversations together, and I took him aside. I said, Don't try, I don't want anything, I don't want any relationship, I don't want you to touch me, and and I'm cursed, and I got too much trauma that I want, don't want anybody to deal with. And he took me aside, he's like, just there's something about you that I want you to know when you're worth it, whether it's me or somebody else, you're worth it.
SPEAKER_00And had you heard that before? Had somebody ever told you you're worth it, you're beautiful, anything like that? Was that something that you heard and believed about yourself in that moment? No, so it's interesting that you said that Chet played a role in your life. It's interesting 20 years ago, he played a role in mine as well. And um he's a good man, he is, and he I was honest. If it weren't for that flat out honesty, and it was just something so small, and he just saw something and said something, basically, and how it changed your life by one person saying something to you. And he did a favor for me one time that really meant it didn't change anything, but it meant a lot to me personally. So that's that's incredible. So seeing you, let's fast forward a little bit. Um, I saw you on the stage of a beauty pageant, which is probably 20 years or 30 years ago. I bet you're thinking there's no way I'd ever be on a stage of Mrs. America, Nevada. And you are really fun up there, like a good time, I could tell, but you have this story and this passion. Tell me a little bit about how your trauma and your past is impacting others. Because I know from my own story and experiences that you're you have two choices, right? You can take your story and you can package it up and you can tuck it away and just let it collect dust and put it there. Or you can do the hard thing, which you're doing right now, which is talking about it, it's reliving it every time you talk about it. I see that, I hear it in your voice. It's hard. Like it's and it's hard to listen to because it's so heavy and real. But you have the other choice of taking those traumas and saying, This is what I went through. And because I went through this, you can go through whatever it is. So tell me a little bit about the impact you're having now because of these horrible things that you endured.
SPEAKER_01Being that I'm finally um in a spot in my life where I'm safe and speaking out. I've met strangers that have gotten a hold of me and online, which is weird, the whole online experience of being able to reach the world in such a small way. Because when you're out here in the middle of nowhere, you really feel like, well, what difference then am I really making? I'm just out here trying to advocate and speak, but who am I really reaching? And it's usually in those moments of doubt where somebody will reach out or do something. When I started the music video process, that in itself brought back trauma I hadn't even thought about for years because my story was illustrated. Um, due to the situation we had to keep the people looking different, because I was in the middle of a custody battle, a heinous custody battle, which finally this October, just barely after seven years and about 20 plus grand of money I didn't have. My sons are free. But um, it every time I wanted to give up, someone would reach out and say thank you.
SPEAKER_00Because you tell your story online. Do you have a social media presence where I did watch your video? It does tell your story. You actually are performing the vocals for your video. You have a great voice. It's very like, it's just earthy and raw. And I actually really loved your stuff. I did, I just loved it. But it does tell your story. And so, are you actively like on social media? Do you have a following? What does that look like in that so in that circle?
SPEAKER_01Not yet. So, with the music video process, right after I did the video, I got really sick. I actually was in the hospital almost every other week for about a year. Um, I ended up being diagnosed with what is called uh Addison's disease. Very connected. I know what that is. Adrenaline. So connected, yes, adrenal insufficiency, and I no longer at all make cortisol. And that was just a beginning. Um honestly, I applied for the pageant right after the video because I was hoping, okay, I got this video, I have a platform, I'm gonna go for it, I'm gonna do this, I know I can do this. And at the time, I was doing construction, so like I have I have this muscular body ready to go. I had carry under wood legs.
SPEAKER_00Like, I was oh, your body, just so you know, it's rocking on stage. I was like, girl, she's she is lean, mean, beautiful machine. Your body was beautiful, beautiful.
SPEAKER_01Well, and that's that's the funny thing about what people see on the outside and what really goes on on the inside, and that's where I give people comfort. I said, You may see this rocking body, but what I see is I'm 40 pounds down and I can't walk without a walker, so I it it's it's funny how the world can portray things and perceive you. Yes, it's honoring by all means, because how a woman looks at herself and the criticism that you can give yourself is it it's sad what it'll hold back, and uh that being part of my platform, but going back to the Addison's disease and going in the hospital, I kind of was held back in time. Uh, my video because when you are nobody, I mean you start out as as nothing like everybody else, and even though I had played some music in fields, when you drop off the earth because you're in the hospital for about two years, it goes places, but it doesn't.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um but the opportunity arose again. Um I knew I was sick, I didn't know how sick I was when I originally applied this year. I just knew I had Addison's disease. I'm like, okay, cool, I'm on steroids, we're good, we're gonna do this. Um I called Jackie back up and I put in my application. I'm like, okay, let's do this. And she called actually while I was in the middle of construction. I worked myself up to being a project manager in a construction field, but it didn't just project manage because of all the side work and not being able to, and this is finding the blessings in the trauma. I learned Spanish, I learned how to do anything handyman work. So I gained a job where I was project managing, I learned how to build these beautiful custom homes. And in that, they got a person that knew if the drywaller didn't show up, I'd drywall. If the painter didn't show up, I'd I'd paint. If the finish guy didn't show up, I'd put in a door, I'd put in a doorknob, I would do all the work myself. And I know how to do it in such a way that I actually I'm I'm honored and and excited to show portfolios and pictures of the things that I've done with my life. And that's one of the blessings from the trauma. I had to do it, I was forced to do it, but now I'm blessed and I feel blessed that I know how. Um in that when she called, she asked if I was ready for an interview. And I warned her, I said, I'm ready, but I'm covered in drywall right now, just to let you know, I'm at work. And she said, you know what, that doesn't matter. And I said, you know, if this this pageant's gonna accept me covered in drywall and hear what I have to say and get past that, then then I'll maybe this is it. So when she called, I informed her I had a brace on. At that time, we didn't know that I had two other autoimmune issues and um muscular dystrophy and how fast it would progress. I just knew I had a brace and possibly needed a meniscal tear fixed. So um we did their interview and I accepted, and when I hung up the phone, I started to cry. And I called my mom. And because we had just such a strange relationship for so long, I felt like I finally got to do a mother-daughter thing. That her daughter, who was such a tomboy and just always covered in dirt, finally got to learn how to be a woman. Um so I called her up and I said, guess what, mom? I'm gonna be in the Mrs. America pageant. And she laughed. She laughed and she said, Are you joking? I said, No, and then she got so excited. I knew from the get go I didn't exactly have the money for it, I didn't exactly know where my health was going, but something told me that I needed to do it. So I picked up and I started the process in this small town. And in a small town, it's hard to get sponsors because there's not very many people, and they're all kind of working on trying to pay their own bills. So the one thing I did know I could do was raffle a gun. So I went down to the hardware store and I put a gun on a credit card with hopes that I would sell enough to cover the fees and start things going. So what a great idea. I got I asked my dad for advice, of course, because uh he would know what everybody wants. So I got a 22 classic Henry.
SPEAKER_00This is great. This is the best story ever, by the way.
SPEAKER_01And so I walk into the to Ace, I'm like, hey, how do you do these uh raffle things? I'm in the Mississippi badge. And they're like, what? And like I said, you have to remember this is a person that put up a wall so hard because of the trauma that became a teeter. I mean, I I I was out there, I if I have barrel raced, I have raced vehicles, I mudbogged anything that had a free spirit adrenaline to it, have done it. And so walking in there and saying, you know what, this is my next thing, this is what we're doing. Uh I was surprised. Um, mostly I was surprised because I didn't see myself as a competitor. I I saw myself the whole time that I was gonna go into it to advocate that that was my platform. I never ever thought or imagined. And still today I get emotional, but it's good. This time these are happy tears. I never imagined I would be validated that night. Never going into this truly was an opportunity to stop the trauma from happening to other people because my music video YouTube has new rules. So instead of uh every view counting, it has to be a new view. So it was really, really hard to get any views to pick up. Uh a lot of my videos, even though that I know um new people watch it, they get stuck at a thousand or three thousand. So I never got anything monetary whatsoever out of anything that I've done. But what I have gotten is worth more. I went into the field, like I said, um, kind of redneck, I'll admit it. But I didn't do it in a disrespectful way. I wanted to represent that blue-collar person that even though I didn't believe I was beautiful, I just wanted more women to see the field that they can, that you can. You don't have to be the cookie cutter pageant woman. You can still be beautiful, you can still rock what you got. It doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_00Just I think too, the pageant landscape has really changed. I I do know with this system that I just have competed in, it's more platform-driven. I do believe that pageants kind of have this older negative view, but they are really changing and doing a lot of great work. And it is a platform to tell whatever your story is. I mean, and looking at you, you'd never know. You'd never know. But it does give you a broader audience and opens doors to opportunities that you may have not had had you not competed. And that's incredible. You also won the miscongeniality, and in my opinion, that is by far the most important award at a pageant. It to me, it says the people watching you behind stage that are talking to you, that are dealing with you, not in interview, not when you're up there on your best behavior. Watching you in your every little moment said you were the kindest person here. And that says a lot to me about you. Tell me how that felt when you missed congeniality, because to me, it's the crown.
SPEAKER_01As you can see, I'm still starstruck. My whole life behind trauma, I've always volunteered. Nobody knew I was being hurt. I spent years in a small town volunteering for every event involved. I've been a part of every single minute of it for the past 20 years.
SPEAKER_00What kind of service is your favorite to offer? What kind of all of it?
SPEAKER_01I love to offer. So I love offering music. Um, I I rarely, rarely charged, and that was only if I was doing karaoke in a bar, but that's different. But the 4th of July is I am when you live in another country or you're held captive, uh, freedom means something so strong, so strong. And anything patriotic, the Veterans Day Parade, people who fought for my freedom. It means so much. So if I can provide music, time, I'll surf food, anything. I'll I'll clean up a building, I've done turtle fencing, I've just anything I can do to help somebody else. And along with that, I I mean, I it's weird. I feel like I'm tooting my own horn and it's not right, but I that's also a thing that I learned is trauma-based. But I really enjoy helping others because when I was alone, and I don't say it in a derogatory way that that people wouldn't have wanted to help me, I was alone because I didn't know how to ask for help. So I seek people that I see not asking for help. I don't want you to have to ever ask for help. I'll just go help you. I I just I don't want anybody to feel alone ever like I did or alone in anything. If God willing, I have the time and I have the health, I'll go do it.
SPEAKER_00You're gonna serve. All right, two last things before we wrap this up, which this was an incredible interview, Alicia. I just before I even start wrapping it up, I just want to thank you for doing this. Your voice is so powerful, your platform is incredible. And I know the work that you're going to do in this world is important work. And I just, I, you're beautiful and you're powerful, and I was blown away by you on stage. I really was. And not because of what you said, but because of what you carried, which is different. Um, what would you tell a woman who is suffering, whether it be through abuse or health issues, or just being a stay-at-home mom who feels isolated that might not be, you know, being abused. We all have our hard thing, whatever that is. What would you what kind of advice would you give them? Inspiration?
SPEAKER_01Celebrate your wins. Every single one of them. You deserve to be celebrated and know your worth. Even if getting out of bed that day, I have had those days. I know people look at me now, knowing my story, they see, oh, this person that has been resilient. No, there's days where just putting a sock in the laundry was too much. But it was a win.
SPEAKER_00Celebrate your wins.
SPEAKER_01Celebrate your wins. Every single one.
SPEAKER_00And I can see too with your story, and after hearing you speak about it in a more complex and deep way, is that you really you find the goodness in those horrible moments. Well, I learned to drywall, well, I learned to do that. Like you're finding the tender mercies and the miracles in your hardship. And that is truly, truly incredible and very beautiful. My last question, I ask for all of my guests to respond. What do you want your legacy to be?
SPEAKER_01My quote When the world tells you no, get up, dust off, and scream back the hell I won't. Beautiful.
SPEAKER_00It is beautiful and it resonates with you. Alicia, thank you so much for coming on to Lipstick and Legacy. Your story is powerful and beautiful, and it is going to resonate with others. Thank you for your voice and for your thank you for your kindness.
SPEAKER_01It truly was an honor.