You gotta have friends

The importance of friends as you age.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Welcome back to anonymous day drinking. We're back. There's more of us. This is episode three, and hopefully you caught episode two. We had we always have fun doing this, so we wanted to share today about friendship. Friendship at older ages and all the friends that you have, maintaining friends, keeping friends, that kind of thing. So we might share some wild friend story and that kind of stuff. Anonymously. Anonymously. We're not going to name anyone. They may come forward later. But I have one friend that she'd say, Oh, you know, don't tell those stories about me. Your kids have heard all those stories about me. And I said, Well, I know they're great stories. She goes, Yes, but you forget you were standing right next to me during those stories. So guilty. Guilty.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Yeah, friends are all that sometimes get you through. And even the journey of friendship is interesting. We were just talking about the, you know, in high school, the the, you know, you all, it's all about your friends. You don't want to do anything. You don't even want to make your bed because you want to be with your friends, you know, and it's an intimate kind of a thing. And then you move on to college and it's wild and crazy friends. And then you have work friends, and then you have church friends, club friends, uh, couple friends.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Yeah, and when your kids start activities, you have sports parent friends and that kind of mom friends, you know. Yeah, mom friends. And I have great stories with my mom friends, people that I cherish that we raised our kids at the same time and uh went through uh life's up and downs at the same time. So uh, but we were always there for one another. So when you reach this age, as you get a little older, um, maybe some of your friends have passed, some have moved away, went to live with their kids somewhere else. Um, those are the things that we kind of want to touch on. Um, and some our lives get busy and some people just fade away. I mean, they're in the background, but they fade away, so you're not as close, or you had a fight with somebody, and maybe it's repairable, maybe it is not.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Well, that's like we talked about even doing these podcasts, Kathy. Oh, anonymous. We are really good friends, but trying to find the time to do anything together is almost impossible because we have so many friends. Yeah, not really, we just have a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Stuff to do and crazy things, yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Crazy, but yeah, and we do we do have fun.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

So we were trying to think how you make friends. I I I moved back to my hometown um with four kids and a dog, and I was divorced. I was a real catch. So my my social life was that way, was pretty nothing. But I there were people here that I'd known since high school, since grade school. So I did, you know, that makes it the slide into it a little bit easier. But our our activities and where we were in our lives were so different. So you just kind of have your work friends and that kind of thing that you start doing that, and then your kids, parents' friends, so it it changes, it's always changing. But you want to keep those core people if you can. Sometimes they pass away. And that's really tough. Yeah. So you kind of have to think it. But I remember an old episode of Laverne and Shirley, and all you need is one. So start with one and hope you get a good one.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Yeah. Yeah. And you I think uh friendship is organic. I think sometimes people head into, you know, I want to be friends with that group or that person, or I only want to be friends with somebody who's beautiful or rich or popular. And the bottom line is friendship is organic if it's real. Um, my sister has a friend and they have been friends since they were in middle school, and it is like they're like glued at the hip. It's another main thing. They do, and it's such a love between them, and it too was just organic. Yeah, um, they you never would have picked those two to be friends, but it's it's it's a the classic relationship.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

So well, one of the things I think with uh if you move somewhere new and you're trying to make friends is to to be friendly, to you know, smile at people, talk to the clerks in the store. It's amazing when you just say one thing to somebody and suddenly you kind of have a connection with somebody. I went to a sale and I was looking at some clothes that were hanging there, and and I I really admired one thing, but I put it back, and then just a couple seconds later, this woman grabs it and she's looking at it and said, Isn't that cute? Doesn't that look like it's fun? And we started this conversation just because I'm a blurter. Blurter that isn't that fun. Just crazy shit. That is a blurter and it can get friendships in trouble. And when you move somewhere new, you do not have to give your whole life story to somebody, you only share the things you want to. So if you've been through some rough times, they don't need to know that, they just need to know where you are, and you can share that with them later.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

Which brings me to a classic don't do that. But actually, it turned out to be a wonderful. I it was a mom friend, you know. You have kids in school together, we were on a committee together and we had to do this project, and you know, it was just it we just hit it off. And so we're sitting at my house and she's chatting about kind of her life. She was brand new to the area. I'm chatting a little bit about mine, and finally, as we chatted, we realized we had more and more things in common, and some of them were pretty earth-shattering. I mean, they were like, You feel the same way, you did that, I did that. And I remember when she walked away that day, we'd spent about two hours together, and I was standing barefooted, you know, on my porch, and I'm waving goodbye to her, thinking, I just told her stuff I've never told anybody in my whole life, and I hardly know her. And she called me later and she said, I don't know about you, but I felt really funny. I felt like I told you stuff I've never said, and I said me neither. And you know, we ended up to be the best of friends, and she's since moved away, so I don't see her very often. But I've always treasured that moment that I did open up, but it was just so natural. I there was a trust that was instantly built. So it can actually turn out okay sometimes, but you can also get burned really bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

I one of my dearest friends, we we were in a play together and she didn't know me. I didn't know her, but we had a scene together and she wanted to practice it. So we were all alone in the theater and we got to talking, and we were like we were both divorced and had kids, and it was like we had been married to the same guy. So we were able to vent to one another, and that just formed a real bond, and we're still good buddies and do crazy stuff together. Men can draw women together, either fight over them. Oh, maybe I'll tell some of those stories, but uh but so aligned in attitude and stuff, and thinking, oh yeah, well, that was a misstep, wasn't it? But sometimes if you move at this age, you move to a new community, and a lot of people are selling their homes and going to uh different communities to live in. Um, big or small, you you kind of need to get the lay of the land. I made the mistake one time I lived in a little town, I hadn't been there very long. And when you're the new person, everybody knows you, but you were trying to put everybody together. And I made a comment about somebody, it wasn't necessarily derogatory, but the comment back to me was, oh, that's my cousin. Yeah, and and they go, and they're related to everybody in town. And she she leaned in and she said, You better get to know who's related to who here right away.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

And it was a small town, so it didn't take long, but it was like And that was true for our town, especially 20 years ago. If you said something about somebody, I'll guarantee you it was their cousin, their uncle, their next door neighbor. It and in stuff close personal friend. It's just bad that way, and they know everything about you.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Yeah, you're the new person, so they want to know everything about you, and you know nothing.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

And they've made up a lot of things, assumed a great deal of things.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

Yeah, learn to read the room. Any new situation, I've learned to read the room. I'm usually quiet to begin with. You're never quiet. I am, I am. I'm actually very shy. I'm very shy. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Yeah. Oh my god. As we're doing this and we've talked to friends about it, they go, You're doing this to me because I'm not, this is not my gig. This is hers. And she's so good at it. I just sit and listen and go, Wow, that's such a funny story, and I don't even have anything to add to this thing.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

You are a character. Well, I am, but I come from a long line of them. And my family's been here a long time. Yeah. Yeah. But they still remain characters. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. My grandmother sang at every funeral and wedding they would let her. You're kidding. That was your grandma?

unknown 9:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

I know who you're talking about. Promise me. Oh, she had You had got to be kidding. No, she did. She sang everywhere, you know. She had been accepted in the early 1900s to a uh academy in Paris. And she didn't get to go because her stepmother didn't let her go. And I my cousin was telling me this, and I said, Well, I'm not quite sure, but I think of the date, I think World War I was getting started. They probably didn't watch and she would have been crazy in Paris. I mean, she was kind of like me. Costumes involved, I'm there.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

And that that woman sang at every funeral for like 80 years. I swear to God. It probably wasn't that long, but it was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

I don't know. Because I used to parody her. At least she'd hold her hands a certain way.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

She wanted to grow up and be like her. Yeah, she used to dress me up in all cards. I just got to spend some time with my cousin that I hadn't seen in 50 years, and we were really tight when we were younger. And then life, as we talked about, took us away. And she was actually my friend. I mean, there was a little meme that I saw about, you know, a cousin that's a friend is somebody that's there. It's different. And um, it has been a riot. As we she came up to visit and we talked about stuff, and she goes, I didn't know that. Did you know that he he was the father of such and such and the family scandals scandals? And so then we're calling the other cousins, going, Who is the how did that? Did they do that? Oh, it was fun, it was a hoot.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

And then somebody confronted me as an adult about well, I I was just told not to talk about it when I was a child. And she said, We're related, we're related. And I'm going, What? And one of my relatives was related, one of her relatives. And I said, and my uncle was standing there and said, I thought we weren't supposed to talk about that. He goes, Oh, we can now. And I said, Oh, okay. Oh my gosh, it gets crazy.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

It's okay, but it's also great to form those friendships, and that and your relatives can be.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Oh, can be some of your best friends, yeah. I agree with that. Um, I have two that are are like my sisters, and they're one's a you know, and they're so nice to have them and to be able to you share a lot of DNA. One of them we both got the loud gene, and the other one got the very reserved Scandinavian. I was up in another city shopping, and I but we we all get along and and I I love having them in my life, but I have moved a lot in my life. I was married to a guy that was in the military, so we moved quite often. Yeah. And um You learned how to make friends. Well, and to like I said, read the room and and be new. You don't come in with gangbusters, oh, I want to change everything. You kind of you know have to share the value of what's going on now with them and then you know, suggest maybe. But I notice now there's a lot of people that just come both barrels flaring and everything is wrong and they're gonna change everything.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

And they're gonna change everything and then they go before you came to our group.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Yeah, what happened? What happened? So uh you know, a little tact and just a little patience, yeah. No problem. Yeah, but um, some of the places to find friends, like where do you go to find a friend? Well, like the grocery store sometimes. Yeah, yeah. Fabric store.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

Oh lady. Oh, I love that. Yeah, you you so what are you making? And pretty soon it's like you go every Thursday to meet them at the fabric store. Oh, you do that? Can you teach me how to do that? Yeah, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

I think clubs, interests, uh, the library, the library service organizations.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

If you've been in like Rotary or the Lions Club or one of those uh groups that you know, a PEO, there's a lot of people that do PEO. They asked me once and I was too busy, I couldn't do it. They've never asked me again. That's because you're too loud. Well, and PEOs are different wherever you go. So you know, I mean it's very social. I didn't get asked either, and I was devastated. Oh, I wasn't devastated at the time until I realized the lady that asked me didn't really want me there. She asked me. It was a backhanded kind of ask, but I was very involved in a couple of other things, and I thought, you know, and I had four little kids, so it was like one more thing on my plate. I have to say no. So yeah, but but they are a great organization.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

I mean, do you remember when our kids were young, you know? I mean, your friends were the ones who could, you know, what do you do when they have diarrhea or colic or whatever? I mean, they're they were your lifeline.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Remember the chicken pox parties? Somebody gets chicken pox bring them over so we everybody's sick at the same time. And now parents are like, Oh, tie them up, put them in, put a mask on, and don't leave your house for four months.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

Yeah, yeah. It's a little crazy, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Let them share that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Oh, and my son, I had I had a son, drives still drives me nuts. But you know, it's and I had a daughter, sweet as pie, very easy. Honey, don't do that, and she would not do it. So I was this help to all these mothers that wanted to be my friend about how to raise children, right? I mean, I I wasn't it wasn't that formal, mind you. But I said, and then I had my son, and it was like, dear God, how do I live through this? Anyone can get me drugs or anything? I got one of those.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

I've got this wild.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Well, I sure found out I wasn't any good at anything, but there was a group of women who had it all the other, yeah. Or a rowdy girl. I mean, they're oh man, one of our friends, her son was this sweet, very, very serious young man. He's just delightful and a delightful man. And but her daughter is hell on wheels. And we were neighbors. So her daughter and my son, it was like, ah, how do we live through it? And I said, and the other two were going, how do we get them out there socially? How do you get them? How do you tame them a little bit so we can go someplace and we aren't asked to leave? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh, it was fun.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Yeah, when my kids were little, I went to Germany and in the German restaurants, everybody had a dog, which to me was very unusual at the time, and their dogs were all well behaved. But if your children were not behaving, they would ask you to leave. So it was like before you go into a restaurant, don't you gotta stay at work or do anything? You'd be the most polite child ever. Yeah. So that was kind of fun.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

But but that it is interesting how you end up with your friends. I think back on mine, I think my um love of sewing and clothing design um brought me many friends. You know, we shared an interest, and we didn't share a lot of the other stuff in life, but it would it fed and nurtured that side of me. Yeah, and that that's always fun. And and that can be and that's the creative friends. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

Like I've done theater forever since I was a little kid. I've done theater, and so everywhere I go, I will gravitate to a theater group. And um those theater people make me look normal, so I love them.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

Aren't they fun? Middle school teachers and theater people are kind of the same. And for all of you middle school teachers, I absolutely love middle school teachers. Um, but they're crazy, and that's why they're so good. Because you gotta be crazy to deal with middle school kids. They're wacka doers. Everything's about but those become friends. I mean, that's how you you get through life, and that's why they kind of come and go sometimes. You know, people talk about, well, I used to have friends, but but I think that it's a natural um progression of things. You know, when you have kids, you have friends that have kids because there's a commonality there. When you are a middle school teacher, and you have you need other crazy people to hang out with.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

Yeah, now we have uh maybe your friends aren't as mobile as they were. Yeah, they can't go for that, you know, three-hour ride to go, let's go do lunch somewhere else and come back and it wears them out, that kind of thing. So you kind of adjust, yeah, adjust a little bit. Yeah, and it's okay to adjust.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

It is good, it's it's awesome. I love that part of it actually. I'm I'm really right in the thick of that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

Just this week alone, two broken hips, what was the other thing? Of all these friends, and I'm thinking, oh my gosh, what was the other thing? Something else, oh a bad diagnosis, but just a bunch of bad things as we as you get older. That you know, when you're younger, you don't have time to think about those things and don't have to deal with it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

So try to be positive for them and still uh yeah, that's you know and that that's when you lean, that's a different kind of friendship when you can lean on somebody during those times.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

And sometimes it's a person you least expect that is there for you. And you didn't realize they they understand what you're going through or whatever, and it's the the you wouldn't have expected it from because there's usually commonality.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

There's something that that that both of you have now had happen that they understand that the the journey you're going through.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

I have friends now who are widowed. Something that yeah, you know, is very difficult to go through just to lose your partner and then navigate through life. What's it gonna be now? Changes, life changes.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Yeah, that's a tough one. I I just went through that. And um I was talking to a friend, a really good friend, this morning, and and being alone without that partner, some kind of a partner, whether it's a roommate, friend, something, because I live by myself, it is a God, it's just a boatload of stuff. And and he was saying the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

He says, You just want somebody to live with, you want somebody there that is your friend, and that you can, you know, kind of somebody hold the door open for you or carry the other end of the well, I think a lot of people get pets for that reason so that they have somebody to come home to, something to take care of, but they can't call 911 if you fall down the stairs. They want to. Yeah, I would if I could. I had a dog, I know that that was on his face all the time. Oh help, I would if I could, I would if I could, but he couldn't.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Yeah, and for some, maybe that's enough, and maybe their life situation is that that pet can be the thing that that keeps them, you know, vibrant and going. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Gotta take them for a walk every day or whatever, or you know. Yeah. So all kinds of friends, four-legged friends, people friends. But I I like people friends. I like my four-legged friends, but I'm having to having to clean up after one today. Yeah, he just did. It was not pretty.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

I don't think we should talk about pets today. I don't know that it'll be in a positive light.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

Just just say he couldn't help it, and then we'll leave it at that. He couldn't help it. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

It's exactly why I don't have a dog or a cat or anything. Does it'd that I'm allergic to it because I would be a sucker for that and then I'd be cleaning that mess up and not happy as a um we we talked earlier about volunteering for stuff.

SPEAKER_02 20:21

Yeah, that's a huge and sometimes it's helping somebody move. Oh, I've got a pickup, you know, I can't lift, but hey, you can use my truck. Yeah, I'll drive or whatever. That kind of thing, just to get to know your neighbors even. Yeah. Because a lot of people don't even know their neighbors anymore.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

No.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

But um, there's a lot of volunteer organizations that you might have an interest in from the what is it, that uh shortwave radio, that that club and the coin club, and all these things that maybe you you kind of might have an interest in. You go to their thing and you go, wow, that's really cool. Yeah. Because I've always wanted to do the radio thing, but then I had a neighbor that did it, but I had kids and my life was too wild and everything. But to be able to talk across the world because you never know. You never know when something will happen and we don't have electricity and and he's got his cranky battery thing, and so a lot of different stuff out there. Yeah. Yeah. And I like um like camping stuff, and and I'm really into disaster preparedness. So we'll get into that. Oh my god. Because we live here on the coast, and you know that that big wave is gonna come. Well, I used to work for a company when I would uh go to see a client and you ask them if there were a disaster, would you stay home, go to the nearest shelter, or where would you go? And they'd get this glazed look on their face. They had never even considered what they would do. And they might be on oxygen or on medical equipment or whatever. And it's like, well, what are you gonna do? Uh well, I guess I'd stay home, or I'd go to a shelter, or yeah, my my son lives in Seattle. I'm gonna go. to his house well how you're gonna get there but that always stuck in my mind that what what would happen if and so I I do have a bunch of stuff and every Christmas my kids get something to add to their their uh bug out bags like the straws the the filter straws or you know just the stuff and there's this great thing online called Judy bags which are bright orange and they're they're flotation but they're like a backpack and you can put all your stuff in that and you know take off if something bad happens. Like what kind of disaster I said well here they think it's gonna be a wave could be earthquake could be a forest fire here it could be all kinds of stuff so what do you do and what do you take with you?

SPEAKER_01 22:39

So the the minimum to be and I like to hike so I also have a backpack that's oh there's you know yeah yeah I even have a um because I want to relax so I have a um hammock and that that I could always hang in a high tree that no you know feral animals can get me I either break it to you but they can climb yeah they can climb and it's gotta be tied to something peace of mind and you know having water when when you and I first connected I was so in awe because I here she is where you know she was getting ready for Christmas and I'm buying gifts and I'm thinking wow that's really cool and I'm here she is she's got this beautiful wonderful family and and they'll get all this stuff you know in case there's a tsunami and she's got a cart for all of them can hike up the hill go up the hill because oh my gosh I timed it how long they think the wave would get here and um oh yeah and so timing myself you know because I don't move as fast as I used to I think you've got to work for the weather forecast people because they're not getting it right now at all. Well who knows but well we were gonna have a blizzard last night.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

Oh we were I got an I missed it if you want to see it I mean seriously I got this notice blizzard warning and I'm thinking what yeah we live on the coast there's no blizzards yeah it's been cold enough though I mean it's been uncredibly cold yeah two to four feet and 60 mile an hour winds and I'm like who makes this up yeah so I I share this disaster stuff with my friends here here have one of these little um here it's really tiny it's only maybe five inches long but it's a sleeping bag you know and I just bought a whole bunch of them because I thought you know in every vehicle and that kind of thing yeah oh she's ready let me tell you anybody that's worried about the world coming to an end you need to hook up with this lady yeah and be her friend they have those friends that well I'm not sure I want to survive that and I'm thinking I think your survival instincts will take in yeah my my mom was one that um oh I'm just gonna sit here and take the wave and I said you're the woman that said when you couldn't get out of your recliner and you rolled out and climbed to get to the phone to dial 911 I said you will go butt cheek by butt cheek up those stairs and I said your oxygen there's food up there and she's you know because I think you I think that would your survival mechanism does kick in no doubt at all we hope so I want all my friends yeah I don't want to be the only one left I want my friends there too so please take this stuff and you have so many friends you better start buying stock what's the name of the companies again buy stock I don't know support Kathy oh that's right she doesn't have a name that's right you want a different name let's we can oh not not today not not today it's been that kind of day I don't want to do I can think of a couple of I have a lot of different people call me but all her friends call me but I I I I am a lot yeah some days I am a lot but you're the best of the best oh let's see where we are here I hope it's still going it's probably still going okay where's our technology yeah and it better be going because this was really good today we can always take that out of here oh okay oh we're 25 minutes 26 minutes are we still recording yes we are oh wow so we can take that out and we've had a great conversation of just silliness but we need to end on something about friends and getting friends and where to find friends.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

Well we did you know we talked about where to find them yeah but I gotta tell you I love you you're my friend and I feel totally blessed that you are and that's the reality of it and and that's how you feel about a friend. Yeah somebody you can be really stupid and you can wet your pants and she doesn't even care. And well no judgment here. She just spritzed no no judgment here because stuff happens on so everything's good.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Oh and spring is coming in short sleeves oh my gosh I've got to find something to cover these arms so maybe that's another personal care next time maybe we personal care personal care let's talk about personal care that'll be just bad. But it'll be interesting because you know it's like the shit you you you you still want people to come to your home so you want your your house to you know you where you live you should keep it as clean as you can I'm not good at that but I try. All your house I do attempt you know I mean I had I'll probably get in trouble for saying this but my mother was so clean. I mean you could eat off of her floor. My mother my floor you could feed an Ethiopian village. I have kids you know it's true and it's clean don't listen to her but wait you know we always had a dog that cleaned up everything that was could be bad and then you know you you get to it when you can because life is happening so go out there and and and be a part of it. Yep uh don't be at home and and feel bad and it's so easy and it's it's um and you can infect yourself with that and you don't want to be always sad. I don't want anybody to be sad. And you can find people that you can you know share that for a while but you know kind of lift it lifts it a little bit and then little by little maybe you get friends and get out and even if it's not get out invite them in. Yeah you know make a good pan of brownies what can I say yeah open your door at Halloween stand on the porch and be in a costume and you know yeah I'm having an Irish dinner and I have an Irish costume.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

Oh I just wish I had a red wig red wig red wig wig uh I have a pink one I don't think that's wait a minute well we're in the attic we'll go so excited it's actually just for my family you know they're coming they're gonna just go what is she doing but I'm a little you know you can make a liprica enough liprica and liprica oh my gosh it's really cool what are you what are you making well I have these really cool lace up kind of brown um leather boots or bootlets you know they're little short things and I have kind of a uh burlappy linen y real textured kind of caramel colored skirt that goes to the floor and I have a white peasanty blouse you know with big billowy sleeves like that because I'm I'm doing the what's her name Nicole Kidman kind of thing you know that age that time and then I have a plaid far and away one of my favorite movies um uh plaid shawl and then I just want one of those long curly and I want long curly red hair I'd even do long curly blonde or long curly let me look in there I think uh I I do know where I can find one but does it have cooties?

SPEAKER_02 29:41

No yeah yeah they're washable there you go no I thought but I thought you know you make it in an event and the thing is you got the shoes so it's all complete you you're going from the bottom I know and yeah and it is you gotta have some fun.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Yeah and I'm all about costuming I'm all about clut textures and clothes I mean and I'm just a little ugly thing. It's not like I'm gorgeous. Yes you are hardly yeah yeah oh tell me about that's what a friend tells you you're you're pretty when you're not you're so pretty you're so full of bees no I I like that idea of making it special something special and that's how you can incorporate friends you know get together and have some silly event like we're gonna have a hat party yes because we're gonna do that for uh uh what is it called the horse thing uh the triple the the Steve the yeah the horse thing where you wear ascot no no what's Kentucky Kentucky Derby well British ascot that's our brains now that's why you have friends to finish the sentence but oh I've got some great big hats oh I love it oh yeah we just did hats in the last the show that I'm doing hello dolly big hats big hats yeah but I'm so excited to do that with oh that's fine our special friend that's that this um we're creating events for because they're easier for her to remember if it's an event and it'll be oh she'll love that my biggest strength I think is not my is that I'm not afraid to look stupid and that has served me well in many many things you know I'm not afraid to look stupid edify me tell me that I'm not or if I'm having fun I don't feel like I'm stupid but and well you're anything but stupid you're extremely bright lady I asked my daughter one time do I embarrass you and she said no mom you just embarrass yourself and I said but I'm not embarrassed so we're good yeah I and I think it gives other people freedom yeah your your nature I come from a long line of people like that though it's okay and and it you're the nature and what you bring to a friendship is that kind all those barriers drop and that's why you have so many people that care about you. It's truthful because you are not afraid to be stupid and it's not stupid we all love it we love it. And they tell me I'm not judgy I probably am but I don't like oh okay no you're not very judgy not at all I mean I think that somebody was really somebody who's hurt people I mean you're you're not gonna tolerate some things but for the most part you're very open very agreeable to just about everything.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

At least did you hear that guys make it work you're gonna make it work.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

She doesn't have kids now so she and she can have more than female friends but we haven't gotten there yet.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

No yeah well anyway thanks for listening all my friends out there all 61 of you who are listening to us thank you thank you thank you yes and uh we hope you enjoyed this one where we just sit and sit and talk so just find a friend to sit and talk with I mean my God we just we don't even have to have a topic yeah and we very seldom stay on topic sorry but I find that people my age we ping pong when we talk yeah and it somehow it always pings ping pongs back to the subject at some point but yeah you because you have these like I said I'm a blurter and you'll get that idea but oh I gotta blurt that out because if I don't I'll forget it. But we don't want you to forget us. So uh stay tuned for the next episode and I don't know where we can talk about personal care and stuff. Oh you know we can try it that's gonna be a little scary it might get I I have some really good ideas on uh well you know vibrant aging women and I just watched a uh reel today on uh putting on makeup and I gotta tell you I as my skin has changed trying to use makeup is just terrible and I have some scars and imperfections and we'll tell you about those at another time but I I feel better if I know that they're not quite so glaring because I think they're glaring so I tried all these different makeups that you see online and stuff they're talking about oh this one this one this one and anyway I would love to do a makeup tutorial maybe some wear it hardly you think I've got everything on now you don't have any of that from the 70s I I want that natural look I don't want to look like a natural it's very you look nice but if I do too much I look like a drag queen and I mean they can do it wrong with that I like that look but I don't have the wardrobe I'll loan you some stuff you want to look like a drag queen from Ireland I got it okay all right you're on okay thank you for listening and uh stay tuned for the next episode bye