Return to Chapter 4: It's Always Sunny in Doonklesprout

The boys return to the once cheerful land of Doonklesprout only to find it deeply changed by their last visit. Can they outrun their consequences? Listen to find out.

Starring

Tyler Wood as Ayahee

Grant Janik as The DM

Mark Brady as John Lick

Shane Smith as Ranger "Always In" Danger

with Lisa Corrao as The Narrator (@LisaCorrao)

Intro and outro music provided by Tim White @DDSluggers

Follow us on social media @ComedyNDice

Patreon.com/ComedyNDice

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:03

Alright, students, settle down, settle down. Zachary, that means you. Now, today we will be learning about a brand new shape. It looks exactly the same as a circle, but it does have a tail end. Now, I know what you're thinking, and yes, this is a confusing shape, but here, I'll draw it out on the board. And there. Yes, this shape you see is the shape that I am describing. A circle with a tail end. Yep. It makes sense when it's drawn out like this for sure. Absolutely no one could ever be confused by this. No one. Ever.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

It's such a simple description of a shape. Tyler.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Comedy and Dice. My name is Tyler Wood. I play AI, the Barbarian Era Kakra from New Jersey, apparently.

SPEAKER_03 1:20

I am the father of one beautiful bird, and I am here to kick ass and take names. And at the top of it is Edgar Allan Pooh. To my left. Hi guys, I'm Grant Janik. I am your DM. Your DM, of course, stands for Drink Milk, and it also stands for Dungeon Master. And I am the world. I'm so excited to be here. I am the Edgar Allan Pooh. That's me. And to me's left is Mark Brady. I played John Lick, a halfling druid, who uh is a dog person that is now Scottish. And to my left. Hey.

SPEAKER_06 2:00

Hi.

SPEAKER_05 2:02

Hey, I'm Shane. I'm I play Ranger Danger, the half-elf Ranger. Ranger. And we're so into it. I had to edit them. The same way that Mark goes, Mark, brain every time. Yeah, so here we are. And to my love, there's Tyler.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

We don't know a lot about your backstory, I'm realizing. I don't either. And I don't know if it's on purpose or not.

SPEAKER_05 2:26

Well, I'm a very mysterious person. I don't have a lot of floor friends. Uh keep my stuff close to my chest because I've had a lot of pain and my I've lost all my friends.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

You you for real had a lot of friends when they died?

SPEAKER_05 2:38

No, they just stopped being my friend. Interesting to know.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

Two things can be true. It's true.

SPEAKER_05 2:45

Yeah, yes. I saw an Instagram earlier the other day that says, Times you're annoying, and I've hit fit all of them, and I was like, yes. He's like, that is why I don't have to. We got news for you when this podcast ends.

SPEAKER_03 2:53

Yeah? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

That's why you haven't paid what's the final episode?

SPEAKER_01 2:58

I've been waiting. It's been killing me, dude. I need my money.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

We'll see what uh Grant comes up with today. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Yeah, I think you guys are gonna quit when I become DM. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

He was fucking annoying as a player, but I'm gonna have a black. This is gonna run first, and I just want to be here for it. Okay. Uh Grant, where were we? Yeah, so big episode last time. Big episode energy. Big episode energy, slapping it right on the table. That's gonna get cut. No, you don't know that.

SPEAKER_05 3:33

Yeah, you didn't say what you were slapping. Could be money, yeah, drugs. It was penis. It was a PS. It was a penis. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

Big episode last time. You guys went into the temple of the famous Eternal Flair, which is Edgar Allan Pooh. Solved his different puzzles, and you ended up defeating clone versions of yourself. So you guys have entered back into your normal body. Also, you aperted back into real life, and you saw you, of course, now have your son you with you. You also have the bookworm. Timmy was there for some reason. Did he come out? No. I mean, of the story. Two things can be true. And I've got that too. And I'm just gonna give you the sound files. Could you just mute his track? Most importantly, though, when you guys exited out of the book, John, you saw your owner, Rihanna Keeves, in the cell with you, his throat slit, and from beyond the bars, Edgar Allan Pooh holding the bloody dagger. And he said, Can you guys just play along? So, with that, we're going to immediately snap right back into the action. You have Rihanna Kives' neck bleeding with blood.

SPEAKER_05 4:52

Yeah. Uh I would like to cast cure wounds on my good buddy. Thank you. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

You guys are good friends. It took us 10 episodes to get there. You're friends with Rihanna Keeves already.

SPEAKER_05 5:04

A lot changed when I said I wanted you guys to die, and then I'll guilty. Okay, I'll take it. And then I realized all my friends leave me, and I figured this is the best way to make a friend back.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Like Travis Scott.

SPEAKER_05 5:15

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

What? Is that him? All my friends are dead?

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Uh I was listening to the show. Let me ask a room full of white people about Reddit. That's SXX Tension. That's Hassian. He's dead. Oh, yeah, he is dead. Yeah. At least I think it is. What level is Cure Wounds? Oh, it is. I don't know how to read this. First level. A first level spell of Cure Wounds. Okay. Go ahead and roll 2d8 plus 3. Alright, so you go to cast Cure Wounds and go ahead and cast it. But as you do, Edgar Allan Pooh snaps his fingers using a legendary action and casts counter spell on your cure wounds.

SPEAKER_05 5:57

That's not cool. I got a 15.

SPEAKER_03 5:59

Well, he uh because he's casting counter spell, it automatically succeeds against first level spells. I have a bone to pick with you.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Every time you say roll for this, I have to edit in a dice rolling sound effect. And a good 80% of the time that you do this, it doesn't fucking matter. I didn't tell him to roll.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

I didn't tell him to roll. I'm pretty sure you did. No. You know, if I'm wrong, you can play the audio clip of me saying, go ahead and roll. Yeah, that's true. Right here. Right now. You're right. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

We won't know for a long time whether or not this is true.

SPEAKER_03 6:39

Knowing you how city it is, you're gonna like find it somewhere else in the episode. You're gonna put it in. Oh, you mean like when you just said it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Um yeah, I will do that because uh also you smacked your lips one time and I put that in as a whip cracking sound effect.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

We'll do that. Alright. So anyway, Rihanna Keeves is dying. Okay. Can I cast cure wounds?

SPEAKER_01 7:00

You can cast. Try spare the dying, which is what you said at the end of the last episode.

SPEAKER_05 7:04

Oh, yeah, let me do that one. All right, that's a cantrip. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Ooh, that's a really good cantrip. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:11

Okay. Can I do it right after doing this or can I not? Uh we're not in combat.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

I'm not the DM, I shouldn't say that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're not in combat, I wouldn't think it would matter. That's true. He'll probably make you roll for it anyway, though.

SPEAKER_05 7:24

He probably will, even though it says I don't have to here.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

And then I have to go back to Pixabay and download dice rolling sound effect 49 again.

SPEAKER_05 7:30

Oh, yes. Pixel today.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

Put it in a different uh Audacity window, copy and paste it over to the main file.

SPEAKER_05 7:37

Maybe try Pexels. They may have a different file.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Oh, that's true. That's true.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

It's not the file's fault. No, it's it's a good file. I like the file. It's it's served as well since episode one. Fair enough. There are actually six different takes of rolling dice. Oh. You cast a cantrip. Yes, I do. Shane. Don't let him bully you. I'm not gonna advocate for yourself. Argue with him. When you what does it say to do for that?

SPEAKER_05 8:02

It says I take both my hands, like and then it just like heals him. Okay. It doesn't say anything. It just says It automatically happens. It says choose a creature within range at zero hit points. He does have zero hit points. Okay, so there we go. Uh instantaneous 15 feet, one action, doubles when you reach levels five. I'm not there yet. So uh I can go I'm close enough to him.

SPEAKER_03 8:28

When you reach level level five, or the range doubles when you reach level five.

SPEAKER_05 8:32

So it's right now I can go 15 feet with it. Okay. Since it's a cantrip. Fuck, cantrip.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

Yeah. It's stabilized. Nice. Um take that poo head. Sorry, is he healed? I'm sorry. Yeah, he's stabilized.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

He's not healed. He's like it's like when the guy was hurting me in the last episode where I kept I I had to do death saves, but then he cast that, and then that just means I'm alive with one hit point.

SPEAKER_05 8:57

Yeah, so don't hurt yourself. Don't pick up any sharp paper.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

Don't hit your owner with your tail real hard. It'll kill him. Right. Yep. You saved my father.

SPEAKER_05 9:08

Thank you for that. Anytime. We're buds. You know what? I've always said since the beginning of this campaign is that we're buds. I thought it was I want ecstasy. Well that's part of it too. I'm man's best friend. Ah. And I well, I'm a half man, so we're half best friends, so that feels nice. Yeah, I'm tearing over a new leaf. I know I haven't been nice to you guys, but I'm I'm trying to be a better half elf.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

You've really been more indifferent to an annoying degree.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Yeah, but inside I really hated you guys. Oh. That's fair. I didn't like either one of yet. I didn't live. I start to wipe away tears with my with my hands. I I I appreciate you two. We have a good added.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

We're gonna go into business together that we can't tell nobody about.

SPEAKER_05 9:53

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I could do a business. Yeah. Oh, no one's ever asked me to join a business.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Yeah, we we're gonna we're gonna fuck some people up. Going to break some kneecaps. I love it.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

I would love to do that. I hate kneecaps. Yeah. I bet you hate we ain't talking to you, huh?

SPEAKER_04 10:07

I'm right here.

SPEAKER_03 10:10

You turn over and you look at him. You does? You and the rest of the party all turn and look at Edgar Allan Pooh, and you see that the top of his head has started to shimmer with heat. And as he yelled at you, I'm right here, you see a little speck of fire shoot out. And he goes and composes himself.

SPEAKER_04 10:39

You always act like I'm not here. I am the one who puts you in the cell. I am the one who puts it.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Is he against the bars? He's yes. I go over to him, I pull him in close to the collar, I kiss him. Fight hate with love.

SPEAKER_05 10:58

No, I think it's one of them like mafioso things.

SPEAKER_06 11:01

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:05

I turn and I go, we don't we don't say it. Oh, yeah, we don't say it. It's that thing of ours. Emmuerto. What is it called? Emmuerto. I can't think it's Spanish. Yeah, yeah. What is that? What's the code of the mafia? Emmuerto?

SPEAKER_03 11:15

It's that Tom Hanks movie, that thing you do. So you kiss him. Uh-huh. Now what? You're the DM, buddy. You tell me. Are you still holding on to him? Do you let him go? I do want to go. And then you push him back.

SPEAKER_04 11:30

He goes, I have I have many things to consider here.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Yeah, you know this is gonna turn into a fucking like uh heated rivalry type of thing, did you?

SPEAKER_04 11:42

I just want you all to play along.

SPEAKER_03 11:46

You're not gonna say anything about the kiss? I can't I what are you feeling right now?

SPEAKER_04 11:53

You get butterflies. Every time I try to do something dramatic between all of you, it just is disheveled. It is wrong.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

I come over here, I bring you the most dramatic thing ever, a sensuous kiss. And what do you do? You take it, you fucking fumble it on the ground, you look at it, you go, What was I supposed to do with you never want to play along?

SPEAKER_05 12:17

I said, good day, sir. That's my favorite part of that movie. What he yells at the kid. What he has a break for Nori. I love that part of the movie. That is literally my favorite part of the movie. What a choice by Gene Wilde. Oh shit. Also, do you have neighbors above you? Fuck them. I don't care. Okay. I think we're the top floor.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Yeah, we're we're the top floor. Um, neighbors below me, they're like a a a professional couple.

SPEAKER_05 12:41

Oh, fun.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Yeah, so it's uh it's not crazy.

SPEAKER_05 12:43

Professional couple.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Yeah. They get modeling games. I never play along. You know, you don't have a fucking uh shut up.

SPEAKER_04 12:55

All of you. I have had it up to here.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Didn't even say anything over here.

SPEAKER_04 13:09

I brought you all together. You all know each other because of me. Your existence is because of me. Your wants are because of me, your drives are because of me, your child is because of me. Your owner is because of me. Your happy go-lucky attitude is because of me. This guy's got a real god complex. Yeah. I wrote the book that lets you craft your own destiny, and you all have decided to turn it into a mockery. And he snaps.

SPEAKER_03 13:46

And the boat he snaps, and the book starts to sail.

SPEAKER_06 13:54

Sail away, sail away, sail away.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

What's the boat doing? Grant's greatest performance on the podcast is punctuated by calling the book a boat.

SPEAKER_04 14:10

So pissed. I was doing I was I was cooking.

SPEAKER_05 14:13

Doing so good. Yeah, we're you were never in gymnastics, were you?

unknown 14:16

No.

SPEAKER_05 14:17

No, Mark didn't come see me on Mondays.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

Dismount. He snaps, and the book flies through the bars towards him, and he catches it and apparates a quilled pen. And he starts to furiously scribble, and he goes and says, I know you are looking for the plot holes.

SPEAKER_04 14:42

And I know you know where this next one is. And he shuts the book and throws it back in and says, Enjoy, Dunkel Sprout. And then he scutters away.

SPEAKER_03 14:55

I have an idea. Yeah? I open up the book and uh without intention of flying to a chapter, I open it up. Do I see blank pages? Do I see some blank pages? Like a chapter nine? So you can only go to the chapters you've been through before, the other ones you've gone back to. There is a chapter nine. Okay. Can I go past that to like a blank page? Uh the you cannot go past it. The only one that you can see is the ending chapter 20. Okay. Is there anything written in it? It says like the key. The key. That's all it says. Yeah, that's how you know that the key is in chapter 20. Oh. Okay. What if okay, I'm gonna But also you know, like you've been told if the book breaks, you can also just get out of the cell, because this is a magical cell. Okay, alright. I'm going to take my my talon and I'm sorry to do it. I poke into Ranger. Oh. Like Pierce's skin. Oh, God. I need I need blood. Are you willingly letting this happen? It just happened without me. I didn't even notice. I mean, you can choose to resist it or you can choose to I mean I I let it happen. Yeah. Yeah. I do that.

unknown 16:11

God dang.

SPEAKER_03 16:12

And uh I I go to the chapter 20 and I write in the book where it says the key. And after that I write is in chapter four. And close the book.

SPEAKER_05 16:25

Yeah, this sounds great. Also, do anybody have a like a band-aid or some uh spore in a round? Can you cast cure wounds on yourself?

SPEAKER_03 16:34

Uh let's see. If we keep talking, he can't say it didn't happen. I think cure wounds you have to be back at you have to go to zero hit points, don't you? Uh not for cure. To cure wounds. Not for cure wounds. Not for cure wounds. Uh you're fine.

SPEAKER_05 16:46

It says a creature you touch, so not me. You can't like touch yourself.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

I mean, it's really not that bad.

SPEAKER_05 16:52

I don't think no, no, it's just I've had my ears pierced. It's fine. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

So you you write the letters in blood, and you see it start to sink in, they start to glow, and then they become immortalized within chapter like 20. The key is in chapter four. Okay, you guys want to go to chapter four?

SPEAKER_05 17:18

Let's this. Let's do it. Are we gonna need the plot hole if we are if the key is there?

SPEAKER_03 17:23

We'll have to figure it out. We know where the plot hole is. That's true. Alright, let's do it. So you guys enter into chapter four, and the pages swirl around you once more. And as you land, you're expecting to see the fun, cutesy pink world of Dunklsprout. You expect to see the world of Katy Perry's California girls music video. Peppermint titties shooting whipped cream. Yes. You listen. Russell Brand allegations decades away. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 17:56

Not even in the mind's eye at that point.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

You as you land though, you look around and pink is not the color you see. You see almost a burnt orange hue. There's tumbleweed tumbling in the distance. You get the feeling of something ominous. You listen to the narrator, and the narrator goes, Chapter 4, Doomle Sprout.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

The world of Doom Sprout is fast and cutesy. All the creatures of Doom Sprout are always eager to gather around to learn a lesson at the end of the day. Whether it be about sharing the color red or counting to twenty. But there are some creatures of the world who are mean and like being angry. High up on Meanie Berg Hill lies Meaniburgh Castle, where Lord Turtle resides. If only someone could teach him the ways of kindness.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Uh and as you're listening to this distorted, garbled mess, you look around and you see the town that once appeared before you again, but this time it looks run down, abandoned. There's wood that's boarding up the windows. You see the cottages that were in the shapes of cupcakes on fire. And then you see one little pom-pom figure slowly start to bounce up to you guys. Oh, fentanyl's a real problem. Oh my god. You're right.

SPEAKER_05 19:48

Dang.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

What happened here? It looks like Philadelphia. After they won something.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

What happened here? I asked you a fuzzy dude.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

You did. Oh, yeah. I turned to my kid. I go, what the fuck you do? I'm sorry, father. I had just got here. Why what did he do? I'll turn back to the fuzzy guy. You three all appeared here and messed up our town.

SPEAKER_05 20:24

We saved it last time. Didn't we save it last time? Didn't we like do something last time?

SPEAKER_03 20:28

The guy, the meanie guy died, which was the guy in the cell. Right, that's right. Yes, and with no one left to put all of our anger on, we had to turn to ourselves. And so, do you guys want to know what today's word of the day is?

SPEAKER_01 20:47

I think it's sorry. Yeah. And I hold out my hand for a handshake.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

This is an orb, but it doesn't have any hands.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Well, who's fucking rude now?

SPEAKER_03 20:59

Does it does it try to it it nudges its right side of its body too? And I go, I'm so sorry that we came in and now you have to deal with being a shitty human being. He doesn't have any items. Pick him up and shake him. Shake him. As it's shaking, it goes, No, that's okay. You're wrong. Well, I'm wrong. Today's word of the day is revenge. And revenge echoes out into the land. And as production You're fucking welcome. Dude. As revenge echoes out, you look beyond the hills of the cupcakes on fire, and you see a sea of rolling rainbowed colored orbs all running at you. Not running, bouncing at you, rolling at you. They're pretty far away, but as you can see, it's a vast number. Of these orbs, and you can hear them all going meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep meep. And it's getting closer and closer. What do you do?

SPEAKER_05 22:08

They're really mad at us guys. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

Torch these little old balls.

SPEAKER_05 22:13

Yeah, can they burn? Can we swoosh them?

SPEAKER_03 22:15

Can we just kick the shit right out of them? Does anybody have a uh a fire spell that isn't uh conjure flame? Because that one doesn't make fire.

SPEAKER_05 22:22

Let's try that. You know what I do have? I do have a subscription to BetterHelp. And maybe we could just let them borrow my phone. This episode of Comedy of Days brought to you by BetterHelp. Use code orc375.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Use code mirror.

SPEAKER_05 22:39

Yeah, mirror. Good luck with that spelling. Sorry, what did you say?

SPEAKER_01 22:46

Uh we can uh he said set them on fire, but they are balls of energy, so I don't know if that's the uh I've got a nice oh you were asking, what'd you say this?

SPEAKER_03 22:54

They've halved their distance to you guys now, just letting you know.

SPEAKER_05 22:58

Yeah, uh I got a nice little acid splash or an entangle. We could entangle them.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

Yeah. There is, I will say, to paint the picture of how many there are, there is like 400 of them coming at you. This'll work. All right, yeah. Uh how many this this is uh fourth graders versus two UFC fighters?

SPEAKER_05 23:19

So I have I have uh I have uh what's it called? Entangle, grassing plants spare out from the ground in a 20-foot square within range. These plants turn the ground into difficult terrain. It'll catch them. It'll be like uh it'll be like fluff balls, like uh what are they called? Fluff balls.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

Uh like dust bunnies?

SPEAKER_05 23:37

Or like not lint. What are the what are those things? Oh uh wool? Nope, when you're walking at the beach, uh burrs, it'll be sambers. There'll be like sand burrs stuck in the something.

SPEAKER_03 23:47

How about this? You lay those down. Okay. Uh I'm gonna lay out a poison spray and fire a firebolt towards like the epicenter of them, because those are both cantrips. And I think we need to haul ass the other way towards where the uh the plot hole is. Do you guys want to kill them, or do we want to just like try to talk because I got web. I got a web where I can just sticky in there. Put that down too. We want to slow him down.

SPEAKER_05 24:12

Yeah, you want to get to Spider-Man. Yeah, and I don't know if we need to kill him because we've all had bad days.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

And also, I'm not sure we can kill 400 of them. I don't think we probably grant understands I think we can. You understand stats more, and he's like, You guys are gonna what? You're gonna what?

SPEAKER_03 24:26

So uh using context clues, I think he's found a bad uh uh uh creature stand-in with a hell of a stat block that he's about to fuck us up with. Yeah. Uh it's worse, I homebrewed them. Oh, okay. Oh, great. That means it doesn't make sense. They're so fucking murderous. All right, so uh let's do all that, lay all that shit down. And then what is the ranges on them? Mine's 20 feet square. Mine is 30 feet and then 120 on firebolt. Mine's 60 range is 60 feet and 20 feet skewed. Okay, so can you guys just break down and paint for me? First quick question are you can't are you casting these when the pom-poms are on the casting thing, or are you more so laying a trap to sink it up? Laying a trap. Okay, and as you lay this trap, is it since everything has a different range, are you doing that all stacked on top of each other or are you doing it just spread it to slow it down? Creating like a wall of traps. We're homaloning the rough. Yeah, yeah. I should ask this. I I think it would be dangerous to not. Um, if we lay all this down, are we putting those that stuff in between us and where we need to go? No, you are not. Yeah. I'm not gonna fuck you out of that. I need to ask. Yeah. We can also walk around. I mean, I know it's it's only like 20 feet wide. Well, it's about a couple, it's like almost just like 150 feet wide. That's true. You're imagining it's like a big open thing, right? Yeah, yeah. Is it you said it's in a castle? Or no? What's the bott hole?

unknown 25:54

No.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

No, where are we? We're in the field. We're in the field. We're in a field. We're in a field. Okay, all right. I want to paint ourselves worse, we paint ourselves into a corner. Like we paint, we do all this stuff around us. You guys do successfully lay down the trap. You I'd say have time to do one more thing if you'd like. If you don't, you can just turn around and haul ass. If you do choose to haul ass, I'm gonna need a collective athletics check from all of you. Okay, I think you're we're I'm I'm gonna haul ass. Yeah, I'm gonna haul ass. I'm also gonna create a fog cloud. Ooh, okay. Smart. There you go. Over the trap so they don't see it. You got 120 feet you got on that? Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I will say that will help you because that would, I'm assuming you're not gonna put the trap away from where you guys are.

SPEAKER_05 26:38

So 18 plus three is 21. Uh we're doing athletics. Yep. Uh 14 plus 4 is 18. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 26:45

Five plus one is six.

SPEAKER_03 26:46

God, you're a dog, too. No, I thought I'd be up there. 21. 21, 18, 18, 21 and 18. I'm using two feet instead of four.

SPEAKER_04 26:56

Get down. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_03 26:57

No, you make it. Okay. Okay. You succeed. Um you needed to beat 40 to so you succeed just by the skin of your neck. I'm not checking your math. You start to haul ass, and because of the fog that uh John has decided to lay down, you guys manage to escape, and you manage to escape with them not knowing where you went. Nice. So using the cover of fog, they are successfully slowed down enough to where you can hear as the fog kind of dissipates and they roll over the traps. You hear me and like blood curdling screams of their I look over at you guys. Which which one of you guys did that one? Oh that was just sticky.

SPEAKER_05 27:46

I I laid down some poison spray.

SPEAKER_03 27:48

Yeah, and I I got entangled, so it's a bunch of pointy stuff on it. Also, I launched a firebolt at their like the center of the mass. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that'll do it. So you guys successfully escape the wave, you start heading towards Meanie Burg Hill, and you're realizing it's taking a lot longer to get to Meanie Burg Hill than you last happened. Because last time it happened, you just went, hey, title card, wipe, we're there. This time you guys are attempting to walk to Meanie Berg Hill. You start to recall, oh, this is a decent walk. It's like you can see the castle in the distance, but it is high up on a hill. You look at the castle and then it pans down. And as it pans down, you look at the sea of vast desert in front of you. It's uh all deserts are seas. Uh you look at the sea of the desert in front of you, and it's giving Mad Max vibes. Nice. Okay. And as you look, suddenly apparating next to you, you see a Dune buggy. Oh, hell yeah. Nice. I can't drive, I'm a drive.

unknown 28:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

And next to the Dune Buggy is different pieces of scrap metal. So for the way this story is going to work, you guys are going to have to make it to Meanie Burg Hill in this Mad Max scenario. I'm gonna let you design the Dune buggy. Each of you get to add a specific part to the Dune Buggy, depending on how complicated I think it would be to make out of the scrap metal, is gonna be the role that you would need to make to make it work.

SPEAKER_05 29:23

Okay, this is Odyssey of the Mind. Is that what we're playing? What is that? You guys ever do Odyssey of the Mind as a kid? I'm old. I'll explain it all.

SPEAKER_03 29:30

Is this like a stick ball?

SPEAKER_05 29:31

No, no, it was like it was like you got to do like kick the kick fun science make em ups. Anyway, it's a whole thing. Sounds like improv. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

It sounds like you're just using your imagination.

SPEAKER_05 29:41

Yeah, I don't know. I don't I was only doing it for a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

I don't think I Is this Cowboys and Natives?

SPEAKER_05 29:45

No, no. I am from South Dakota, so that should fit, but no. Uh I I don't think I can explain what Odyssey of the Mind is because I'm old and uh I forgot.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

Um Googling this. Yeah, explain it for me. The Beyond the Box experiment. So we have we have a Dune buggy and we're gonna put sh we're gonna we can put shit on it. Yeah, yeah. And there's is there's the scrap metal and everything? There's scrap metal, so there's enough for each of you to add one element to this Dune buggy. And as you go through the desert, there's gonna be different encounters. There is also something very important that I will get to later. But fucking cocktees. Yeah. And guess what? They're secrets that you can't know about. You see a Dune buggy and you see scrap metal next to it, and you get to add your own parts.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

Brother, that's the fourth time you've told us.

SPEAKER_03 30:33

Depending on whatever you can choose whatever you want to add, depending on how difficult I think it would be to make out of scrap metal is going to be the sleight of hand DC that you'd have to make. So if you want to just add like a shield, like yeah, you could put like the fucking scrap metal on this.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

Okay. I heard we can put whatever we want on this.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

Yeah. Yeah. Within reason. Okay. Well, I know what I want to put on that. It may not be successful. Right, yeah. Yeah. We're just trying and a little sleight of hand. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead, dude. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 30:59

What I want to, I want to take that big piece of scrap metal over there, fold it into a V and create a cow catcher for the front of this buggy. Nice.

SPEAKER_03 31:05

Okay. I was thinking something similar. Yeah. I would say that's a sleight of hand 10. Okay. Okay. I'd say because you that's pretty much something easy to do. I'll give you advantage on it too.

SPEAKER_05 31:16

Ooh, 19. You made it. Looks like a 61. Oh. Plus a uh 19, plus a plus one. It's a 20. Yep, you definitely have a cattle catcher at the front of this. Nice. The cow catcher is a it's what it's on the front of a train. It's like a V-shaped thing. It pushes the people off the track on it.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

You'd think this is so well designed that it can't even get gummed up. No. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's such a well-designed thing. No, it's not good. It's not gonna fuck you over. Mark, you want to go next? Uh no, I was gonna do something for the front and uh shane. I also had something for the front.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

I think we're gonna drive. Like with We'll have traction if it's rear-wheel drive. Right, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

We're gonna need something for the back. You go.

SPEAKER_05 31:58

You can't do something decorative.

SPEAKER_03 32:02

Is it an open dune buggy? It is. Okay, so I would uh You want a little roll cage?

SPEAKER_01 32:07

What are you thinking?

SPEAKER_03 32:08

Well, it is it's I'm assuming it's a roll cage, but the the sides and top are open. What's a roll cage? It's when you roll it. It's the metal bars that are that are pretty much the frame that protect you when you roll over. It's open top. If we flip over, we're gonna die. Yeah, right. Most dune buggies have a roll bar. That's what I'm saying. It's got a roll bar, but it's still open. Meaning Oh, yes. So there is a roll bar. Yeah, there's a roll. I'm assuming, right? There's a roll bar. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 32:32

If it's legally sold in the US, it has to have that roll bar.

SPEAKER_03 32:34

Does it look like this? Uh yes. Okay, so this is it's a very basic design uh where the roll there are bars behind the seats and the windshield kind of acts as one. And uh it's that one. Oh, yeah, like it's like the convertible of Dune buggies. But with a roll cage, which is the whole thing. Yes. Yeah, it's one of these. Okay. Okay, yeah. Okay. Uh I think I want to create um a gun. A nine millimeter that shoots from the top. I want a button that hits oil in the back. No, I want to create the sides and the top, and I want to enclose that.

unknown 33:15

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 33:15

So protecting us inside. I'll also give you a 10 with advantage on that at sleight of hand because that's just putting metal on cars. So it's pretty easy. Uh and uh obviously uh like slats to look out of. Yes, but not not open enough to where yeah, you're making it convenient enough for you guys. Yes. Okay. Nice.

unknown 33:39

Shit.

SPEAKER_03 33:40

Oh, that's good. Still counts. 14. There you go. Okay, plus three. But that's 17. You that makes it. So you definitely have a more protected uh Dune Buggy. So that's going to raise the Dune Buggy's AC. All about AC. Hell yeah. What are the odds we get three heads in a row? Yeah, hard to say. Uh it's like eight percent. Yeah. Um I'm gonna say that I would like to create a series of spikes all the way around the Dune buggy. Um kind of shooting off of the cow catcher part a little bit, nothing too crazy, but definitely more on the sides and the back, so that we're protected. Say this is the I'm not gonna do that because this is an audio medium. I'm gonna use my words so that everyone will understand what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Say that you have the car, uh, the Dune buggy, and at the level about of where the tires are, uh, including the middle of the rims, uh, like you have.

SPEAKER_03 34:39

So the bolts, where the bolts go. Yeah. Yeah. Uh well, just out of the middle of that, there's gonna be a spike poking out, and then a few along the uh running board, basically, and then out of the next tire, and then all the way around the back on that level of the side. So on the lower level of the car, you're wanting spikes. Like it would fuck up a shin. Define how you want these spikes to be. Sharp, pointy. Sharp and pointy. Uh durable. Are you talking about like a specific cone spike? Are you looking for more scrap metal type spikes on the side? Can you describe what a scrap metal spike is? Is it more like for defense or offense? If I was to make if I was to take like a sheet metal and then just take a knife and like do a bunch of jagged movements, would that be because that's a spike, or am I carefully carving out a little bit? I feel like that would be too flimsy if it's just out of the sheet metal. Well, it's up to you. And like if you hit it, it'd be like it's not really gonna be a little bit more.

SPEAKER_05 35:31

Yeah, you need a cone. You need to create a cone.

SPEAKER_03 35:34

I want two on the front, two on the back, and two on the tires each side. Okay. So that would be eight. And you're making cones of this. You're actually melding something into it. Okay. I will say you need to do not get advantage on this. You need to roll a 14 sleight of hand.

SPEAKER_05 35:51

Ooh. All right. Also, you guys, I realize we're setting this up for battle, but maybe it's like just a car show thing. We don't actually know what it what the what the qualifications of a good car are. Now you're thinking like Grant. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 36:05

You remember the Pokemon episode. All right, let's. We just show up. Like, what the hell is this? Just death machine? Yeah, this is a parade. We're not supposed to be driving this shit near kids. Yeah, we're gonna kill them. It's a 12. Okay. Oh, damn. Plus three is 15. Oh, I have been teased. Yeah. You formulate these cones, and it just barely works. Like it's so peaceful. It's not pretty. No. It is not pretty the look of it. It doesn't need to be.

SPEAKER_01 36:42

I just need tetanus on it.

SPEAKER_03 36:43

It is functional. Yes, for sure. So all of the scrap metal has been used. Now there are two seats in the front. One of them is the driver's seat. Check out classic car stuff. And there are two seats in the back. One of them the driver's seat. One of them the backseat driver. Oh, yes. Um! So where is everyone sitting? I call back seat. Okay. Backseat where? I want to straddle one ass cheek on the left, one ass cheek on the right. I'll go passenger. I'll drive. I'll go. I'll go passenger. You got my thumbs. Oh, yeah, that's right. I'll drive. You're Ranger, you're driving. Yep. John, you're in the passenger seat. With your head out the window. Yeah. You are I'm in the middle, so I can like poke up in between the seats and something. It's like my mother-in-law. And your child you is on the left, just crushed as you're in the middle of this seat. Yeah, where's the worm? The worm is in one of y'all's pockets.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:46

So who wants the worm? Not that. I'll take the worm. I can put the worm in my pocket.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

I don't think I'm I'm squishing you. Because I'm like lean forward a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 37:54

Yeah, but we could have shared there's two seats in the back. You are in one and a half seats, which means you only get half of the seat. Let you drive. Oh, we should. Can you drive? I mean, I have never driven before, but you don't need a license to drive a buggy. Also, it's a desert. There's no roads. Not a bad idea. Well, we're going, we don't need bro.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Listen, we could die. Could never have a chance to learn how to drive things. I mean, we don't even drive things, I think, where we're from.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

Yeah, I don't think we do. Anything besides like a lower. He's not gonna hit anything out. Are all of you sitting in the chairs currently? Well, I gotta see.

SPEAKER_05 38:31

Can I have one of the seats in the back if we let you drive? Sure. Okay, let's do that. I'm not driving, he's driving. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_03 38:37

Wait a minute. Do I have to use that first? Guys, I don't want to sit next to him either. Do you want to sit next to you? No, I have to have a little bit of a chance. Oh, I cannot wait to sit next to my best friend John. I'll write shotgun. If he's fucking up, I'll hit him. Because he got a little talk to him the whole time, you know? Yeah. Like, oh yeah. I don't know what else to do. All right, let's go. All right. Did Shane, did you ever sit in the driver's seat?

SPEAKER_05 39:05

I put my butt in it real quick.

SPEAKER_03 39:07

Roll perception with disadvantage for the channel.

SPEAKER_05 39:09

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 39:10

I should have said no.

SPEAKER_05 39:11

You're gonna turn into the car. I got a 12. You're gonna turn into a car. And then a 14, so 12. 12? Oh, but I got a plus seven for perception.

SPEAKER_04 39:21

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:25

You notice this by you being correctly able to. Grant also just noticed the power. He's like, oh my god. The car does not have enough gas to make it to Meanie Burg Hill. Oh. It's got enough gas to it's not empty. It you can go. Ain't got no gas in it. Yeah, no gas.

SPEAKER_06 39:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

But in the Dune buggy, in the passenger seat, there is a map.

SPEAKER_05 39:52

Okay. You guys, I just realized there's not enough gas in this thing. What kind of was this is a flat plane, or is there a hill up or down? It's up, right?

SPEAKER_03 40:00

You lean, you go down a hill to go into the plane, but it's obviously it's dunes.

SPEAKER_05 40:06

Oh, so we could use inertia like Flappy Birds. Is that what it is? What is it? Where you like or like uh when you pump a skateboard on a track or a BMX bike?

SPEAKER_03 40:14

No, no, go with the Flappy Birds. Yeah, yeah. Is that the game? Yeah, as soon as you start going down the dunes, you see these green metal pipes. You know what, guys, I think we're gonna have to take all that metal shit off now because it's gonna cause the gas. We're using more gas.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

We gotta be here by now. If we if we keep fucking around, they're gonna be eating our ass.

SPEAKER_05 40:35

Yeah, I think we're gonna be fine. I think I think we just gun it as fast as we can, get as much inertia as possible.

SPEAKER_03 40:40

So you're saying there there's a we go up one hill and then So you go down and then you're in dunes. So it's a whole bunch of up and down that's gonna be.

SPEAKER_05 40:49

So we gun it, we ride it up, gun it again on the downside. So we'll just gonna be pumping it the whole way. And there's a map, you guys. There's a map. What does the map say? Uh I look at the map.

SPEAKER_03 40:59

So the map shows where you guys are starting at now, which is right by the cupcake town. And then you see that's at the very bottom of the map, and then directly north at the very top of the map. Don't you fucking direct the map? At the top of the at the top of the circle? At the at the end of the circular room. No, I at the corner. You see a path that you can take that ends with the castle on Meanie Burg Hill. Along the way, you see pit stops of civilian camps. Oh. So you see one that looks like it has a fuel station, you see one that has a drawing of like a pond or something, and then you see one that has looks like a big hole. Or their hands. I should call her.

SPEAKER_01 41:50

Oh, are they you're making a go-to, right?

SPEAKER_03 41:53

Yeah. Judging by the way that you look at this map, you have enough gas. You have about a quarter tank left in my car. That should be enough to get you to the refill station. Okay. Does this buggy have regenerative braking? No. Damn. Good.

SPEAKER_05 42:13

That's funny.

SPEAKER_03 42:14

Well, Shane drives the guy that has it.

SPEAKER_05 42:16

Is that like a bolt reference? Oh, it should be bolt E U V?

SPEAKER_03 42:21

It's got instant torque, dude. Those things are fun. Yeah. Speaking of pumps. Yeah. Instant torque. Pumps and dumps. Uh so you're driving. Yeah, I'll drive. Oh, no, you're driving. Now it's fucking me. I'm ready to drive.

SPEAKER_05 42:34

Alright, use. Here's what you gotta do, Yuze. Okay, we're gonna gun it down the hill. Okay. Do your feet touch the gas pedal?

SPEAKER_03 42:44

Let's see.

SPEAKER_05 42:45

Uh surprise, we should have checked it. He's big for his age. Yeah, he is. No. Okay, I'm driving.

SPEAKER_03 42:50

Oh, don't put a seatbelt on. You'll be just go to the edge of the seat. Without a seatbelt? You can they they do reach. But you won't be able to see. You can't see where they're back. Okay, okay, no. I gotta drive. I gotta drive. All right. You'll get in the back. Are you sure? I could I could work the gas pedal while you how tall are you? Oh hey now.

SPEAKER_05 43:14

5'6 on a good day. I'm gonna have to drive. There's no way Yewes can drive. Unless someone wants to control the steering wheel with eyes. Get in the backseat. Get in the backseat.

SPEAKER_03 43:25

Okay. Respect Mr. Danger. Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_05 43:27

Although it is more dangerous to have a kid drive.

SPEAKER_01 43:30

You're not who you used to be.

SPEAKER_05 43:31

I'm not. I turned over a new leaf. All right. Did someone say leave? I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 43:36

I don't mean to be your character.

SPEAKER_03 43:39

You took that off, bro. Were you gonna say what? We mind melded. Nice.

SPEAKER_02 43:46

Jeez!

SPEAKER_05 43:49

All right, so uh we're at the top of the hill now. Yeah, you're at the top of the hill.

SPEAKER_03 43:53

Where are you going? Down the hill. Yes, but what's towards Meaningberg Hill that we can see? I'm going where's the pit stop? It's the next so the things that I listed are all along the path. And that one's got gas. That one has a picture of like a fuel pump. Nice.

SPEAKER_05 44:10

Okay. So it's in a line.

SPEAKER_03 44:12

Curvy, but yeah.

SPEAKER_05 44:14

Well, at least it's sexy. Yeah, hell yeah. Alright. I'm gunning it towards that fuel depot, but I'm only gunning it downhills using my.

SPEAKER_03 44:22

No, you should only gun it uphills.

SPEAKER_05 44:24

Should I?

SPEAKER_01 44:25

Well, you're saying oh I see what you're saying. You're saying gun it.

SPEAKER_05 44:28

I'm gonna so I get the speed and the gravity pulling me down, and then I may have to coast a little bit. I'm coasting on the uphill. Because then you use less energy, because then you're just letting uh the inertia pull you up the hill versus using extra gas.

SPEAKER_01 44:42

You shouldn't floor it.

SPEAKER_03 44:43

That's really where you're losing all your gas mileage.

SPEAKER_05 44:45

Okay, I'm not gonna floor it.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

You should. It should be a gradual press. Yeah, okay. And then we'll be able to, I think, coast from the top of the hill. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:54

Top of the top of the first one at least.

SPEAKER_05 44:56

We'll see how far we get.

SPEAKER_03 44:57

Okay, yeah, let's go. You're driving the most efficient way possible. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 45:00

You have enough gas to get to.

SPEAKER_03 45:05

He said that earlier. You guys are getting hung up on how to press a pedal.

SPEAKER_01 45:10

We're just thinking about how we would fuck Grant, and we're afraid he's gonna do the same thing now. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 45:14

I told you you have enough gas to get to the drive like a sweet little old lady. And I get there. So you you start down this hill and you feel the wind in your faces and beaks, and you're going up and down these dunes, and you've been driving for about maybe five, ten minutes. Roll perception. Uh five plus seven. Twelve. Seventeen minus one sixteen. I got a fourteen. Okay. All of you notice this. You see behind you some dust clouds in the distance. Oh Marauders. Marauders. More of them rouders. What do you do? Fucking keep driving.

SPEAKER_01 46:00

We don't go, oh my gosh, someone's coming.

SPEAKER_03 46:03

We're not stupid. Let them pass.

SPEAKER_06 46:06

Yeah, pull over, put your hazards on.

SPEAKER_03 46:10

Okay. You continue driving, and you end up making it to the refuel station. So as you pull in, you see a little shanty town. Thank the town that Rango goes to in the movie Rango. That's so funny. And you walk in and you notice, you see. Are you looking up the town? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:38

God forbid I do some research.

SPEAKER_03 46:39

It's called dirt. That's the town. And as you go in, you see it's very disheveled.

SPEAKER_01 46:47

Looks like every old Western town.

SPEAKER_03 46:48

Yes. Yeah, yeah. There's a rock. Blazing saddles. There you go. That's a good reference.

SPEAKER_01 46:52

But no, no. We have to go Rango only. Yeah, Rango. Grant, you're a fucking grown man. You deal exclusively in children's media.

SPEAKER_03 47:04

You should follow my letter boss. I watch Hoodwinked and Hoodwinked 2 at work. Man. I'm going to send this to your boss. His boss gives him adult movies to watch. Adult movies. Watching porn at work. Curvy Roads. You should be able to watch a lot of things. Curvy Roads 3. So you see a junkyard with a bunch of scrap metal and then a little dance place. That's true. And you also see a dwarf kind of manning out front. Whoa! Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

You want to retake that, Grant?

SPEAKER_03 47:38

Yes. You see one of the hill dwarves manning out front. And then also you see like a fuel station that just says Earl on the top, and you see a gnome that is sitting waiting to help pump.

SPEAKER_05 47:54

Oh, is it like Jersey where we can't pump our own gas?

SPEAKER_01 47:57

What the fuck you got against New Jersey?

SPEAKER_05 47:59

No, no, it's fine. It's fine. I pull up the station. Hey, listen, bud. We uh we just fill how much is the gas? Can we just fill her up? Uh four schmeckels. How many schmeckles do we got, guys?

SPEAKER_03 48:11

Uh do I have my gun? Yes. I pull out my gun and back. I got four schmeckles in the chamber right here. Fill it up, you son of a bitch! Roll intimidation with advantage. Oh yeah. Oh that's what's better. So 11 plus intimidation is six. Eleven plus six? Yeah, yeah. I put all my stuff into intimidation. He's real good.

SPEAKER_01 48:38

I put all my stuff into different his hands go up and he's like, when I saw your character sheet, I was like, you, what have you been doing?

SPEAKER_04 48:46

You don't say shit.

SPEAKER_03 48:48

I know, I know. I really should lean into some of this.

SPEAKER_04 48:51

He holds his hands up and goes, okay, I I have to put him down to pump your gas.

SPEAKER_03 48:56

Tell him to take his clothes off. Do it, take his clothes off, dude. He starts to take his clothes off.

SPEAKER_02 49:03

Okay, is this good enough?

SPEAKER_03 49:06

Start over.

SPEAKER_02 49:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 49:08

While he's doing that, I pump the gas. Do it. Are we done? Did I finish pumping the gas? Yeah, the gas is pumped. This guy's just slowly putting on and taking off his shirt.

unknown 49:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 49:22

Hey, buddy, you look good for your age. You look great.

SPEAKER_02 49:25

Oh, this is the weirdest interaction I have ever had.

SPEAKER_05 49:29

It's not for us. Let's go, guys. Let's go. I hope and I peel out because I guess.

SPEAKER_01 49:34

As we leave, I cast uh firebolt back at the gas station. Grant has buried his hands in his eyes.

SPEAKER_02 49:47

Once again. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

Once again.

SPEAKER_02 49:50

At the gas station?

SPEAKER_01 49:52

The petrol depot.

SPEAKER_03 49:54

What's the attack you need to make? What's the attack you need to make? I need uh. I don't know. It says my hit DC is plus four. Okay, rolled a hit. Okay. So you just roll d20 plus four. 12 plus 4 is 16. Okay. What's the AC of this gnomes? What's the AC of Earls? When are you casting this? Uh like where are you? So the wheels are going and we're like in place. And then I like shoot as the car or the the buggy is getting ready to move. Alright, I'll give you your cool moment. I I want you to describe to me how you guys pull away from this massive explosion that's about to happen. We are uh the wheels are screeching despite it being completely just sand that we are driving in. Yeah, exactly. Uh they like Rango. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, like the tires do in Rango, that movie Rango. You familiar with Rango? I am. I uh I'm sorry, I referenced cars. Cars and cars, lightning McQueen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:01

As we are taking off, you hear shut up and drive, drive, drive.

SPEAKER_03 51:06

That's from Wreck It Ralph. Is it? Yes, it's when uh it's when Vanelope Von Schweet and Wreck It Ralph are training on the track. You're right, you are right. That's great. I just didn't have that on the front of my brain.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

I'll be damned. It's featured in cars-related promotional videos, international trailers, but the 2012 film Wreck It Ralph during Venelope's training scene.

SPEAKER_03 51:34

Well, well, well. He's got it on fucking lock. If you're gonna make a reference to children's movies, get your fucking facts straight.

SPEAKER_01 51:42

But I would like to point out uh here, uh, it does say shut up and drive Cars 3 music video by Nerd Durnervix on YouTube.

SPEAKER_03 51:53

You see, I am uh upset about this video because they just took the opening race from Cars 3 and it's the wrong song because the song is I Wanna Run That Race. I Wanna Run.

SPEAKER_05 52:07

Also, did they strip off How Does It Feel? Do they just uh what's that song? Uh Shipping the Harbor.

SPEAKER_02 52:14

So So is that what happens?

SPEAKER_03 52:18

Or no, that's wrong. Um I want um Oh yeah, New Order, Blue Monday. I want uh what give me the coolest opening riff you guys can think of in any any song you've ever heard. What's your favorite opening riff? Ooh, uh Walk. Walk? Yeah, by Pantera. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's a good and right at that point I shoot Firebolt out as the tires finish screeching and catch traction on the sand as we two giant rooster feathers shoot out the back of the wheels as we uh a stationary camera sees the bumper of the car spraying sand directly into the lens, and we take off, and as we get smaller, you just see us turn into a glint of of shining a reflection of the sun off of the back of the dune buggy. And then I assume we see whatever was chasing us roll over top of the camera in hot pursuit. Does that sound correct? That's perfect.

SPEAKER_01 53:24

Yeah, you want me to fucking DM or not?

SPEAKER_03 53:26

Yeah, I was gonna say, we're gonna have a DM off. As they roll over the camera chasing in hot pursuit, the camera pans back to you guys, and the dwarves' head from the scrap metal yard lands squarely. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, we did that one together. And as we pan over to, as you guys rolling towards Meanie Burg Hill in the distance, it is there that we will end this session. Oh boy. That was a hot one. Shut up and drive.

SPEAKER_01 54:01

That does it for another episode of Comedy and Dice. Thank you guys so much for listening. We really appreciate it. My name has been Tyler Wood. I play AIE. I want to thank the other members of the cast. We have Grant Janick as our DM. We have Mark Brady as John Lick, and we have Shane Smith as Ranger Danger. Thank you to Tim White, aka DD Sluggers, that is at DD Sluggers on all social media for this wonderful intro and outro music that you hear every single week. Thank you to Lisa Correo for being our wonderful narrator. And I want to say thank each and every one of you for listening to us. We really appreciate it. However, you support, whether that is listening to the podcast, maybe telling a friend, leaving a comment, or if you would like to support us monetarily directly, over on our Patreon. It is patreon.com slash comedyanddice. That is patreon.com slash comedy, the letter in dice. Thank you guys so much for listening, and we will be back here in two weeks on May 13th, two days after my 32nd birthday. If you want to get me a little present, be here then and listen to that next episode.

SPEAKER_03 55:07

Thank you so much for listening, and we will talk to you then. Goodbye.

SPEAKER_01 55:15

Let's pass it around. We'll do it, we'll do it quick. What are we doing? Mind meld. Okay. One, two, three, cheese. Cheese.

SPEAKER_03 55:22

Holy short! We're good to go. We're good to go.

SPEAKER_05 55:26

We're done.