Ep. 3 - Leadership Confidence: The Bridge Between Vision and Action

Leadership confidence is what turns vision into action. It’s the steady bridge that allows ideas to move from inspiration to execution. True confidence is more than charisma—it’s presence, resilience, and authentic self-belief that inspires others to follow willingly. Unlike arrogance, which is rooted in ego, real confidence is grounded in self-awareness and experience. This creates the magnetic pull that transforms skeptics into supporters and empowers teams to go further.

Key takeaways from this episode:

• Confident leaders carry presence. They demonstrate awareness, decisiveness, and the ability to adapt under pressure.
• Confidence has many styles. Some leaders are bold and outspoken, while others are quieter but equally direct and effective.
• Resilience fuels confidence. Abraham Lincoln’s leadership confidence was built through years of failure, persistence, and growth.
• Confidence vs. arrogance. True confidence is rooted in reality, data, and self-awareness—not unfounded bravado.
• People know the difference. Teams instinctively sense when a leader’s confidence is genuine or false.
• Confidence influences effort. Followers decide how much discretionary energy they’ll invest based on their leader’s confidence.
• Three keys to building leadership confidence:
  1. Develop deep self-awareness.
  2. Abandon perfectionism.
  3. Gain clarity about your role and expectations.

Leadership confidence isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about cultivating the presence and resilience to guide others through uncertainty. When leaders show up with grounded confidence, they create space for trust, innovation, and collective success.

If you found today’s episode helpful, don’t forget to like, follow/subscribe, and share!

Ready to begin your own leadership journey or have questions? Visit 7bigconsulting.com to schedule your complimentary discovery call today. Begin transforming your leadership journey with the clarity to lead and the confidence to succeed.

Transcript

Confidence : What lies within us

Speaker 1 0:02

Welcome to Shelley on your Shoulder. With Shelley Sager, founder of Seven Big Coaching and Consulting, Shelley on your Shoulder is the leadership podcast that delivers practical tips, empowering affirmations and real world advice to help you lead with clarity, confidence and purpose, because leadership is a choice and how you choose to show up matters. And now here's Shelley on your Shoulder. Shelley, how are you doing today? I am fantastic. How are you, drew? Good, you got my mind going in all kinds of different directions after our last couple of conversations since the last episode.

Speaker 1 0:38

Yeah, I came across this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us, and that, to me, summed up in a lot of different ways what you wanted to talk about today. Why don't you talk about that? And what our topic is.

Speaker 2 0:58

Yeah, I love that quote. So what lies before us and what lies behind us? And then what lies within us? What lies within us is that confidence, and so what I find so interesting and what I spend so much time talking to leaders about is the ability to see it so you can be it right. So clarity to lead, confidence to succeed. Even if you have a really compelling vision, if you don't have the confidence in your ability to do it, nothing happens.

Examples of Confidence

Speaker 2 1:29

So I love that this quote bridges all of your experiences that get you to the point where you are today and feeling that confidence in your ability and knowing where it is that you want to go and how you're going to direct that confidence, and knowing where it is that you want to go and how you're going to direct that confidence. I've been told so many times that I have a confident persona, and people feel that confidence, even though I don't always feel it. So I wanted to use this time today to talk about what does that look like? What does leadership confidence look like? How do you know it, why is it important and what can you do to build that sense of confidence?

Speaker 1 2:10

Talk to me about that. What does it look like to you?

Speaker 2 2:14

So when I think about confidence, confident leaders, there's two that come to mind and they're very different. So in both cases, these leaders show up and you can see that their confidence. One was a little bit more loud and outspoken and the other one was very quiet but very direct in her observations. But when they showed up, there was a presence about them that you knew, that they were aware of what was going on. They were present and they were going to be able to make decisions and move us forward. So there's this air, this presence that leads to a sense of confidence. And there was no hesitation in what they needed to do and what they were leaning into. And that didn't mean that they made all of the decisions and they dictated what needed to be done. They had the confidence and presence to know who to lean into, what questions to ask, and the confidence that, as a team, we were going to move forward and accomplish what we needed to.

Speaker 1 3:21

You know, thinking about this, I thought about a lot of people that I worked with in the past, but I'm a big reader of history and biography and the guy that just kept coming into my head on this confidence topic is Abraham Lincoln and a great book by Doris Kearns Goodwin called Team of Rivals. First of all, you look at Abraham Lincoln's life. He was not a winner. You know you and I also talked about this fail thing, yeah. And you know people will ask tell me about a time you failed and you and I kind of landed in the same place on that. That you don't. You don't. The only way you fail is if you fail to learn right.

Speaker 1 4:02

And you look at Lincoln's life all the elections that he lost, he lost jobs, he failed in business just was one loss after another, both not just in his chosen fields. He wanted to go to law school and he was rejected and he taught himself right, yeah, and he was rejected and he taught himself right, yeah, because he had that. He had that confidence that he could do it and he just persevered through everything, through depression, through all kinds of things, and ultimately, when he was elected president, what does the guy do? The team that he assembles around himself are all his rivals, all the guys who were against him or criticizing him or whatever. But he said no, you come be on my team and together, we all have these great ideas and none of us are 100% right and none of us are 100% wrong. This is the vision where we want to go, and we can do it together, despite whatever happened in the past.

Speaker 2 5:14

Yeah, it's such a powerful example of that quote that you shared. When I think about what's behind you and his history of attempts to do things that don't quite lead to what he was hoping for, the much of confidence is on the back of resilience, because you've tried something and it didn't work and it didn't work and yet you still move forward. You've done something with that, you've learned, you've applied that learning to something else. I don't know that you can really have confidence without resilience and having failed.

Speaker 2 5:55

I think there's a good number of people out there who demonstrate confidence and they've succeeded in life in everything they've tried, and that's a gift and that's amazing. There's something about confidence that you also know that you can rebound when things don't go the way that you want. So there's like a maybe it's a super confidence that risk and challenge have taught you that you can make it through, and so having made it through adversity and challenge makes it so much easier than to open the door for something that is super risky like Abraham Lincoln and bringing your rivals together. Super risky like Abraham Lincoln and bringing your rivals together. And I think in that example, his confidence is his ability and that resilience because he's done so much and I think there's a gift in that confidence of his vision and where we're going to, and that type of confidence, that belief draws people in to want to be a part of moving into that space.

Definition of Confidence

Speaker 1 6:58

Right, and then now we'll talk about definitions. Here there's a couple of things that come to mind. One of those is being a lot of times, people who are confident get misinterpreted as arrogant. Right, yeah, but start nerd word with a definition for us. Yeah, but start nerd word with a definition for us.

Speaker 2 7:17

Yeah, being the word nerd that I am, I did look up the definition of confidence.

Speaker 2 7:22

No, you would, I would. There's a couple of themes. There's some consistency, right? So, according to Merriam-Webster, confidence is the quality or state of being certain, right? And Cambridge says it's the quality of being certain of your own ability to do things. So I'm adding to that confidence in your vision, so your ability to create a vision that's compelling and draws people in. It's that belief, that certainty. And so there's this question of well, where does that come from? And we could have multiple episodes about where that comes from and we'll talk a little bit about it.

Speaker 2 8:01

But confidence is the belief that things are going to work out. You feel it, you know it, and so you lean into that space between confidence and arrogance because I have such an aversion to arrogance and never want to be seen as arrogance when confidence is a belief based on your own ability that things are going to work out well, right. A lot of times confidence comes from self-awareness, insight, data. Arrogance is an ungrounded belief, Like data. You don't have the data that supports that you're going to do this and have the ability. But arrogance is so much about this mindset that it's just not grounded in reality.

Why Confidence Matters for Leaders

Speaker 1 8:50

Are you a high achiever who's constantly pushing forward, but you still feel like you're running on empty? Shelley Sager of Seven Big Coaching and Consulting brings more than 20 years of experience helping leaders achieve their vision of success. Shelley helps driven professionals like you align your values, visions and actions to achieve sustainable success. Whether through one-on-one coaching workshops or dynamic presentations, Shelley guides you to lead with clarity and confidence. Her approach is tailored to help you navigate challenges, lead with authenticity and build high-impact teams Ready to transform your leadership journey. Visit 7bigconsultingcom to schedule your complimentary discovery call today. 7 Big Coaching and Consulting. Clarity to lead. Confidence to succeed. Shelley, talk to me about why. Having this kind of inner path that you know where you need to be going, this confidence why does that matter for a leader?

Speaker 2 9:54

Seems like an obvious question, but yeah, I mean, the most basic answer is to be a leader. Seems like an obvious question, but yeah, I mean, the most basic answer is to be a leader. You need to have followers, and there's a whole field of study around followership and the power that comes with people having the ability to make choices. But I think what we need to realize as a leader is, in most cases, people have a choice to follow you or not follow you. And even if you're a leader of an organization and you have positional authority as manager or vice president or president and CEO, people still have a choice in how they show up and respond to your leadership. Do they tap into all of their discretionary effort or do they give you exactly what you're asking for and nothing more? As a leader, having confidence genuinely brings people in. If you think about Abraham Lincoln, his enemies coming in, at some point they went from potentially wanting to see him fail to wanting to be part of something and make it better.

Speaker 1 11:01

And they actually did. Seward, who was like his number one rival, who ended up being his secretary of state, was conniving with the other guys on the team, like we're going to lead this because this guy doesn't have it together, and very quickly, yeah, they realized that he was everything he thought he was.

Speaker 2 11:25

Yeah, people want to believe in the people that they follow Right. We want our leaders to demonstrate confidence. We want to have trust that our leaders know what they're doing, and so, when most people think about the most impactful leaders in their lives, they're ones who had confidence in their own abilities. And that doesn't mean that they arrogantly took ownership of everything and believed that they could do all things and they were perfect. It means that they had the confidence in themselves, their vision, their team, to create the fuel that brings other people in, and want to be a part of that.

Speaker 1 12:10

You hear the phrase, I felt it in my gut the fight or flight instinct. I think people can smell out a leader who's not really confident. They can sniff that out. And again I'll put this on to the next conversation I believe we're going to have about authenticity. People can sniff it out when you're being not your true self, right, yeah, you know, they can sense it. Just like you think about all the things that all the people that you've met who put on up front or came off as a little bit too big for their britches.

Speaker 1 12:46

Yeah, you know it, and I think the people who report or work on a team with a leader can smell those things can smell those things.

The dangers of "Fake it 'til you make it"

Speaker 2 12:59

It's interesting because it's so important to recognize that sometimes people underestimate the impact of confidence and this whole concept of fake it. Until you make it. There's a genuineness that comes from people who are truly confident. And I'll tell you, I had this amazing conversation when I got into becoming a consultant myself. I started talking to other consultants and my question was when did you know that you were going to be successful? And there was one woman that I met with and in that very conversation the first thing she said to me was the moment I decided to open my business and I could feel her confidence. It was amazing. It was like I want to be like that all the time, but that instinct of what it looks like and how you know there was no hesitation. Her body language signified she genuinely had that full sense of confidence, and yet she didn't say that she was perfect.

Speaker 2 13:54

She didn't give any indication that it was exactly right all the time and that she knew she was never going to fail. But she had enough confidence in herself and her history and where she was going that she could sit in front of me and very confidently, very easily express to me that she never had. She didn't actually say she never had a doubt, but she knew that she was going to be successful in her business.

Speaker 1 14:26

Yeah, honestly, I think if you don't have doubts, you're not paying attention. I think doubts make us sharper. That's me.

Speaker 2 14:35

Yeah Well, and that's kind of your true test of confidence, right? So there's a doubt. I start wondering can I really make a living of this? And confidence kicks in to say, in your past experience you've done this and this and this, so your history is there that you're able to do these things, and that clarity of where you're going, your commitment to that, helps tie those together. So I do think doubt and being able to overcome doubt is where you really sharpen your confidence and confidence is what helps get you through that.

Confidence: 3 takeaways

Speaker 1 15:13

So, Shelley, as we kind of wrap up here in the home stretch, give me the one, two, three takeaway.

Speaker 2 15:20

Yeah, confidence is so critical and there's a couple of things that you can do, that any one of us can do, to continue to build our confidence, because confidence is fluid and it's going to ebb and flow and you'll have more confidence in some things than others. So the first starting point to building your confidence is be self-aware. Figure out what you're really good at, your strengths, and be really honest with yourself about your weaknesses and use that knowledge to your advantage. So pause, really think about how do I build that self-awareness so I'm clear where my confidence is. Drop perfection, because perfection will kill confidence.

Speaker 2 16:02

Most people recognize that this, the pursuit of perfection, is a myth. It doesn't exist Right and perfection is going to steal your confidence more than anything. So drop perfection. So build self-awareness. Drop perfection. And the last thing is get really clear clear about your role, your expectations, your vision, because if you're not clear about what your own expectations are of yourself, you run the risk of losing your confidence, because you're heading down paths that aren't where you really should, paths that aren't where you really should. You try to do things that maybe aren't where your confidence is and maybe you're building your confidence in that space. But get super clear what your expectations are of yourself and the expectations of you and the role that you're in. Drop perfection, build your self-awareness, and those three things are going to help you start to really build your confidence so you can be the leader that you want other people to experience.

Speaker 1 17:05

All right, and if you're listening, just look at the episode notes and you'll see all this written down. Or go to 7bigconsultingcom and you'll find it on the blog post and you can read it and listen to it again. And we hope you enjoyed this episode. Next time, what's up for us?

Speaker 2 17:21

We are going to lean into authenticity.

Speaker 1 17:24

Authenticity. Okay, thanks everybody for listening. Shelley, as usual, cracking your brain open. There's nothing but light that comes out of it.

Speaker 2 17:34

Thanks, Drew.

Speaker 1 17:36

All right. Well, we'll see you all later. Bye. Thanks for listening to this episode of Shelley on your Shoulder. If you found today's episode helpful, be sure to subscribe and share it with someone who's ready to find the clarity to lead and the confidence to succeed. You can listen to Shelley on your Shoulder at 7bigconsultingcom or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can reach Shelley via the contact page at 7bigconsultingcom or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can reach Shelley via the contact page at 7bigconsultingcom. On LinkedIn, by searching for Shelley Sager, that's S-H-E-L-L-E-Y, s-a-e-g-e-r, or by clicking on the send us feedback link at the top of the episode description in your favorite podcast app. Until next time, lead with vision, act with purpose and inspire with heart.

Speaker 1 18:23

Appearance or mention of individuals, products or services on Shelley on your Shoulder does not constitute an endorsement. Shelley on your Shoulder is copyrighted by Seven Big Coaching and Consulting, all rights reserved. Any redistribution or reproduction of part or all of the content is prohibited without express written consent from 7 Big Coaching and Consulting. Shelley on your Shoulder is a production of 7 Big Coaching and Consulting in partnership with Left Brain Right Brain Marketing. You can find 7 Big Coaching and Consulting at 7bigconsultingcom and Left brain right brain at lbrbmcom.