Ep. 4 - Authentic Leadership

Aligning Values with Responsibility

Authentic leadership is about finding the balance between staying true to yourself and honoring the responsibilities of your role. When leaders show up authentically, they build trust, foster engagement, and reduce the risk of burnout. In this episode of Shelley on Your Shoulder, Shelley Saeger and Drew explore how authentic leadership emerges during challenging situations and offer practical guidance for developing your own authentic leadership style.

Key insights from the episode:

• Authentic leadership balances personal truth with professional responsibility. It’s about honoring both your identity and your role.
• Research proves the impact. Studies show authentic leadership significantly boosts employee engagement and retention.
• Challenging moments reveal authenticity. Delivering difficult news often exposes whether a leader’s actions align with their values.
• The struggle is real. Leaders face discomfort when asked to communicate messages they don’t fully believe.
• The “moment of truth.” Authenticity is tested when personal values appear to conflict with organizational responsibilities.
• Authenticity ≠ license for poor behavior. It’s about alignment between personal integrity and organizational needs—not unchecked self-expression.
• Three steps to authentic leadership:
  1. Deepen your self-knowledge.
  2. Define your leadership brand.
  3. Allow your approach to evolve over time.
• Honest vulnerability matters. Teams remember leaders who acknowledge challenges while still supporting organizational direction.

When leaders choose authenticity, they earn trust and loyalty that lasts well beyond the moment. Teams value leaders who communicate honestly, show vulnerability, and align their actions with both personal values and organizational goals.

If you found today’s episode helpful, don’t forget to like, follow/subscribe, and share!

Ready to begin your own leadership journey or have questions? Visit 7bigconsulting.com to schedule your complimentary discovery call today. Begin transforming your leadership journey with the clarity to lead and the confidence to succeed.

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:02

Welcome to Shelley on your Shoulder. With Shelley Sager, founder of Seven Big Coaching and Consulting, Shelley on your Shoulder is the leadership podcast that delivers practical tips, empowering affirmations and real-world advice to help you lead with clarity, confidence and purpose, because leadership is a choice and how you choose to show up matters. And now here's Shelley on your Shoulder. Choose to show up matters. And now here's Shelley on your shoulder. So, Shelley, good to see you again. I got something for you today that I think you're going to like. It's from one of your favorite people, Brene Brown. I can't wait. She says authenticity is letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.

Speaker 2 0:43

I love that quote. It makes me. It just validates why I think this topic is so important in a podcast about leadership, right. And so when I think about authentic leadership and what we want to talk about today, I see so many leaders struggle with how to be a leader and how to be an authentic leader, so I cannot wait to dig into this with you.

Speaker 1 1:06

Okay, so talk to me about that. What is authenticity and how does that connect to leadership?

Speaker 2 1:14

Authenticity. I've done a fair amount of research on authenticity and basically it means being real, being your true self, right, your own personality, spirit, character. It's not fake. When you think about authenticity, we think about great works of art as being authentic. Each one of us is authentic. We have our own unique fingerprints, our own DNA, so it's being really clear about being authentic when you combine that with leadership, it's how do you do that? How do you show up as being true to yourself while being in a leadership position? That is where the challenge comes in.

Speaker 1 1:56

I'm going to talk about myself for a little bit here. I think back to a moment in my career when I was working at an agency. So my boss came to me and because of all the things that were happening in the world the dot-com bubble bursting 9-11, people just shut down. You know, revenues were not consistent with the salaries and overhead that we had, so we had to do something. He said you know, we've laid some people off, but now we have to start cutting salaries and I want you to go talk to people about that, you know, find out what they, what's the bottom line for them. So I struggled with that.

Speaker 1 2:38

You know how, how do I do this? And you know, scenarios went through my head of how do I present this to people and, at the end of the day, like the only thing I can do is tell them the truth and say we're all being asked this. This is not management keeping their salaries and everyone else taking a cut. Everyone is being asked to take a cut. And when I met met with everybody, I didn't pussyfoot around. They knew things were happening. You know, people can sense that in a smaller company and I just said look, the picture's not pretty. We're being asked to take a pay cut. So I need everyone here to you know come back with what is your bottom line. I'm doing it, I don't like it, it hurts. I got wife and family at home, house payment, car payment, just like the rest of you do. It's not going to be easy, but I think better for us to all do that than be out of work, because the situation outside is not good either.

Speaker 2 3:49

And what was the impact of that approach in that painful situation?

Speaker 1 3:55

I think you know that people appreciated I didn't screw around and you know kind of come up with scenarios and you know excuses and all that kind of. Come up with scenarios and you know excuses and all that kind of stuff. I just put it out there and this is what it is and I think for the majority of the people appreciate it. There were a couple of people that walked out, you know, and I had to go have a conversation with them afterwards, but in the end I don't nobody hated me for it. We were in the boat together.

Speaker 2 4:28

Yeah, and Drew, when you reflect on that conversation, your role in a room of people that were your peers, your direct reports, people that you had built relationships with, and having to tell them you get to keep your job, but everybody needs to take a pay cut, what was most important to you and how you showed up in that conversation, in that moment.

Speaker 1 4:55

I think what I wanted to do is I wanted to let them know that I was in the same situation. Number one yeah, you know, I got to know a lot of these people. I held their babies. It was hard. It was hard to do that and so I really wanted to be compassionate about it. But be honest, and it's going to hurt, that was my bottom line and I, you know, several people appreciated that approach.

Speaker 2 5:29

And that aligns to who you are as a person, your values. My mama did that for me.

Benefits of Authentic Leadership

Speaker 2 5:35

Yeah, I know you to be a compassionate person, who builds great, deep relationships, who genuinely cares about the people in your lives, in your life, who genuinely cares about the people in your lives, in your life, and so it sounds like that's your authentic self. And in that challenging moment, you had a choice in how you showed up as the quote leader in the room and you chose to lean into your core values and who you are. People remember those moments and it is, for so many people, a simple math equation. Where leaders get stuck is they approach the conversation as a simple math equation, not as genuine human beings, where that math impacts their lives. And that's where leaders have an opportunity to show up as themselves, to think about it as more than just math, but to create a space for them to be themselves in having a difficult conversation, so let me ask you the question what about from your background, where either you or someone you worked with you saw this in action?

Speaker 2 6:50

I've been pretty lucky to have some really amazing leaders who showed up as genuine, authentic, and I remember a conversation with a leader once where we weren't seeing eye to eye and she leaned into knowing me as a person and knowing herself as somebody who relationships were important and it was important for her that that she and I be on the same page as team members and equals moving forward. And so she she literally stopped the conversation to make sure that we were aligned and that our fears, our challenges, what was holding us back, was all out on the table for discussion so we could move forward. And that conversation, that moment, has stayed with me for decades and it is an example of the leader that I choose to be and how I want to show up every day.

Speaker 1 7:44

Shelley, you talked about your experience. I talked about mine and what I heard when you were talking about yours. I hope that some of the people that were working with me had the same experiences, that you learned from that and you kind of carried that forward, both in your own interactions, in your work life, in your home life, I'm sure in your community, all that you know that goes, it spreads wide. What do you think are the benefits to both individuals who are under somebody who's really being their authentic self and the organization that they work for?

Authentic Leadership in Action

Speaker 2 8:25

Yeah, I mean we can talk about this personally. We've both experienced this to your point. Some of the research that I've been doing is what's the impact to business? And actually there's a number of studies out there showing that it drives employee engagement, it drives retention, it sets authentic leaders, set a really strong role model that continues in organizations. So there's a tremendous number of benefits to organizations. There's also a benefit to the leader. When you show up. In this age where people are concerned about burnout and how they show up and how we keep people engaged and motivated in the workplace as a leader, being true to yourself and showing up as the leader you want to reduces some of that tension and stress about being a leader and helps people find a little bit more balance in their work.

Speaker 1 9:23

You're smart, driven and maybe a little overwhelmed, trying to lead in a world that doesn't slow down. That's where Shelley Sager of SevenBig Coaching and Consulting comes in. Shelley helps leaders like you get clear, get focused, get moving with purpose. This isn't your typical leadership coaching. Shelley blends sharp insight with real-world strategy to help you lead better, communicate clearly and build teams that soar From executive coaching to dynamic workshops. She's redefining what it means to lead with confidence. So if you're ready to trade burnout for breakthrough, visit 7bigconsultingcom and schedule your free discovery. Call today 7 Big Coaching and Consulting, Because when you lead with clarity and confidence, everything changes for the better. So, Shelley, may I ask you this You've been doing this for a long time, working with leaders and organizations. How do you know when you see authenticity and leadership in action?

Speaker 2 10:31

the authenticity and leadership in action. So there's this idea of this moment of truth. As a leader, you know your values. Hopefully, you know what it feels like to be authentic. You also know that you're being asked to do something, say something, carry out some activity that doesn't feel aligned. There's something in your gut, in your anatomy, that's telling you. If it's heartburn, something is telling you this doesn't feel good. I don't like the way this is going. I don't want to do this. Oftentimes, it's communicating a message that you don't believe. I've had to do this. You've had to do this. Oftentimes, what leaders do when they're not being authentic is they throw their leader under the bus.

Speaker 1 11:12

They throw their organization under the bus and they claim like I've been told by the boss, I need to do this.

Speaker 2 11:18

I'm just the messenger is often right. I don't want to give this message, but I'm just the messenger and this is what we have to do. That's one approach. The other approach that sometimes happens is they pretend that they buy into it and they deliver this inauthentic message about this is gonna be great for the whole organization and I can't wait. But inside they're dying about this message. So that's how it tends to surface, and leaders do this enough times and then realize this doesn't feel good. I don't wanna do this the and then realize this doesn't feel good, I don't want to do this.

Speaker 2 11:51

The alternative is to find a way that you're living aligned to your vision and values, right? So if somebody asks you to deliver a message, the organization is going in a different direction and you don't necessarily agree with that direction. That's on you to find a way to support the message. So get some more information, talk to your leader, get some perspective. So when you deliver that message to your team, that you're you're fulfilling your role as a leader in delivering the message and supporting the organization and you're balancing that with your authenticity, and so that might sound like got some information. We're heading in a different direction. We're not going to be doing this project like we thought, and I know that can be difficult news.

Becoming a More Authentic Leader

Speaker 2 12:42

I struggled with that myself, and so I got some more information. This is where I see the value. This is what I see as the value or the benefit of the direction that we're taking right now. I know it's going to take maybe some time for everybody to find that value. I'm going to ask you, if you have questions, to talk to me about it, but let's work on this, moving together to get to where we need to go. You're still fulfilling your role as the leader, but you're doing it in a way that's authentic and you're helping your team see that you're being honest and genuine in how you're moving forward.

Speaker 1 13:21

When you're in a group, when you're an organization and you've been given a leadership role. That's kind of your job. What you signed up for is to keep everybody rowing in the direction that they're supposed to be rowing in.

Speaker 2 13:37

Yeah, and most organizations actually benefit when their leaders show authenticity and say I have a challenge with this, I have a concern about this, can we talk about it? So then the organization benefits because they're getting perspective on how people might react. It helps them strengthen their message, it helps them do better moving forward. It helps the leader feel committed and connected to the organization. That results in better communication, better engagement down the line.

Speaker 1 14:08

That results in better communication, better engagement down the line. Right, it's really about letting your defenses down and letting people into where you're at right.

Speaker 2 14:18

It's definitely a vulnerable moment.

Speaker 1 14:25

Yeah, yeah, and I think people respond to that. They're more likely to follow that type of a person than somebody who you know they're giving you a snow job to follow that type of a person than somebody who you know they're giving you a snow job.

Speaker 2 14:30

Yeah, if you don't trust the person, it's really hard to commit and that's never a good thing in the organization.

Speaker 1 14:40

In terms of this authenticity and leadership model, if you have people in your organization, if you're sitting here listening to this and you're thinking, wow, you know how do I do this in my own work life, in my own role as a leader. What are the takeaways from this conversation?

Speaker 2 15:00

So what's important to keep in mind with authentic leadership is authentic leadership is about the balance of being who you are and being true to yourself and honoring the role that you happen to be playing, because you can be a really authentic person and show up and lead in a way that, to Brene's point earlier, is the way that you think you're supposed to, or your interpretation of your organization's culture. Right, that is a choice. When I'm talking about authentic leadership, it's about the balance of both of those, and this is where so many leaders get stuck. They don't show up and live their values. They show up and be the person they think somebody else wants them to be. Then they have a negative impact in their organizations and they personally don't feel fulfilled within that role.

Speaker 2 15:51

So when you're in a position of being in leadership, where these moments come up most is when you're asked to do something that maybe doesn't feel quite aligned to your personal values. Your vision doesn't feel quite aligned to your personal values, your vision. Those are opportunities for you to really sit with that and think about how do I want to show up and be the leader that my team and the people around me need be the leader that I want to be and how I want to show up. So, if you are in that position, for any leader who's in that space of gosh just feeling like I don't know if I can be the leader I want to be there's three things that I would say for you to keep in mind, and the first one is really similar when we talk about confidence, you need to understand who you are. When we talk about building confidence, it's about building your sense of your strengths and your weaknesses. I'm talking at this point, self-knowledge and building awareness of your vision, values, ethics, your style. I refer to this often as your core. Who are you at your core? What are the values that are most important to you? What's your vision of who you want to be?

Speaker 2 17:01

The second step, then, is to think about what does that look like as a leader? What's my leadership brand? What's the legacy that I want to leave? Who do I want to be as a leader when I show up to lead at my organization or anywhere that I am? If you're a leader in your church, your community, you happen to be a lead in your kids' organizations right, you can be the same consistent leader across all of those roles, but you need to think about who am I, my vision, values first, so your self-knowledge. Second, what kind of leader do I want to be? What do I want that to look like? And third, you need to recognize if being authentic is something that's new to you, it's going to evolve over time, because authenticity can be really hard. Being somebody who's different today, showing up as your authentic leader self today, might be really different from who you were yesterday and that's a change. So you need to recognize that it's a change for the people around you.

Speaker 2 18:06

So, you have to give them time to adjust to that.

Speaker 1 18:09

So you think about authenticity and being your authentic self is different from being an authenticity in leadership, right, because I can tell a joke, I can be funny, I can have blue humor, I can have dark humor, I can have dark humor, but that's not what we're talking about. That's authentically me. If we're hanging out and having a beer, right, I'll be silly, yeah. I'll goof off, but there's a time and a place to this, and authenticity and leadership is the same but different, right.

Speaker 2 18:43

Yes, and that's where that's the balance.

Speaker 2 18:56

What sometimes happens is people think that authenticity is a license to be who I am when I'm in any situation, and, yes, that is a version of authenticity.

Speaker 2 19:03

But authentic leadership is the balance of both, because you have a role that you play in the organization. So being an authentic leader is you figuring out what is the right balance of your true self, your vision, values, the leader that you want to be and how you manage situations in the workplace. So authenticity is never a license to say the things that are not appropriate at work. It is never a license to just be the person that you want to be in the moment, regardless of how it affects the organization, regardless of how it affects the other person. When you accept the role of leadership, of leader, you accept responsibility for all the things that come with being a leader, and that means setting guidance for the people around you, helping to grow and develop them, manage the organization, keep the business in a positive space. How you do that as an authentic leader is the balance of your core, your vision, your values, and aligning it to what the organization needs of you in that moment.

Speaker 1 20:12

All right. So, self-knowledge, develop your style, let it evolve over time. Those are your three key takeaways. So that's a wrap for this episode of Shelley on your Shoulder. See you next time.

Speaker 1 20:24

Bye, thanks for listening to this episode of Shelley on your Shoulder. If you found today's episode helpful, be sure to subscribe and share it with someone who's ready to find the clarity to lead and the confidence to succeed. You can listen to Shelley on your Shoulder at 7bigconsultingcom or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can reach Shelley via the contact page at 7bigconsultingcom. On LinkedIn, by searching for Shelley Sager that's S-H-E-L-L-E-Y-S-A-E-G-E-R, or by clicking on the Send Us Feedback link at the top of the episode description in your favorite podcast app. Until next time, lead with vision, act with purpose and inspire with heart.

Speaker 1 21:10

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