32. From Helpful to Hateful: When Reviews Go Too Far

This week on Wrong Way Forward, Katy and Justin dive into something we all do—but rarely think about:
leaving reviews.

Are reviews actually helpful… or are they just emotional drive-bys from people having a bad day?

From choosing hotels, doctors, and even dog trainers based on star ratings to questioning whether we’ve lost the ability to think for ourselves, this episode explores how reviews are quietly shaping our decisions—and our reputations. 

Katy and Justin break down:

•  Why only the happiest (or angriest) people leave reviews 
•  When a bad review is justified… and when it’s just petty revenge 
•  The hidden risk: businesses reviewing YOU back 
•  And how one bad experience can spiral into a public takedown 

Plus, they read their own reviews—good, bad, and slightly unhinged—and debate what actually makes a review helpful versus harmful.

The bigger question:
 Are reviews giving us better information… or just louder opinions?

And before you hit “submit” on that next 1-star rant—
 you might want to think twice.

Transcript

Welcome And Review Confessions

Speaker 2 0:00

She's Katy Montgomery. He's Justin Joseph. These best friends are serving subpoenas to bad advice weekly with Wrong Way Forward. Now here's Katy and Justin.

Katy Montgomery 0:12

Hi, and welcome to Wrong Way Forward, the podcast where we roast bad advice. My name's Katy Montgomery, and I'm here with my best friend Justin Joseph. And today we're going to talk about reviews. And I think you're either a person who does give reviews or a person who doesn't. I always fill out the surveys. I always complete a review. If someone nicely asks me to do it, I do it. Some people just completely ignore that. But Justin and I have both written reviews. And Justin, what's your kind of thought about leaving a review?

Justin Joseph 0:44

Well, we were laughing because you we were pulled up our reviews that we've given in the past and you said, Well, I've only leaved left one bad review. And I said, Well, I've only left one good review. So I mean, it's like my only source of power when I'm angry, which is 80% of the time. So yeah, I I I tend to leave a relieve reviews whenever they're warranted, if something's really bad or something's really good. I will say, having just got back from London, that's how I picked all of my tour guides was based on their reviews. And I thought it was so helpful. And so I made sure to A, tell them that I was leaving them a good review and I had all good experiences overseas. Um, and B to actually leave a good review and a review that I thought was helpful for the next Justin that was looking. Why did I think this person was good, or why do I think this person was bad, and why, not just a general, they're an asshole, but why specifically? What about you?

Katy Montgomery 1:37

Well, I think while you were talking, it made me think about what the world was like before reviews. And so now I'll even go on to Nordstrom and I'll be like, I want to get these jeans. And if the jeans don't have above a 4.0, I'm like, I'm not gonna bother with it. Oh interesting. Or if I go on Amazon and I just need to get something, you know, I don't buy anything that's reviewed below a certain level.

Justin Joseph 1:59

100%.

Katy Montgomery 2:00

If I'm on Netflix and something gets below like a 6.5, I'm like, I'm not gonna bother. And I I don't like that because I'm not using my own judgment. All of us are different, we have different tastes and likes, and I'm kind of going along with the herd. So it first made me think what it was like before we had all of these reviews. And it was more kind of word of mouth and people that you trusted and knew. And I can tell you from having been a dean at multiple schools where you do a ton of student satisfaction surveys, and the people who generally respond are the people who are absolutely miserable and hate you, and the people who absolutely love you and me, yeah. Yeah, and which is really interesting because it doesn't really show the norm or the mean or what the average is, and so it gets very kind of skewed. So I guess

When Ratings Replace Judgment

Katy Montgomery 2:52

my first thing is I I do participate in reviews. I'd say I'm a more active reviewer. You know, if I participate and they send me a survey afterwards, I always try to complete it. I think it's kind of, you know, your duty. I think it's a kind thing to do. But I kind of liked the world before everything had a number to it. And I could kind of make an independent decision.

Justin Joseph 3:13

Well, I get what you're saying that you're, I think what your point is is are we missing out on things because we're leaning too heavily into reviews? And that's probably the title of this show. And I think that's a that's a really good conversation to have. Um, having said that, I like the world where I can really dive deeply into something before I bought it, whether it's a television or um, you know, my dog's in boarding school right now to be trained. I I mean, I read every single review of this woman before I left my dog with her. Um, and so all of that's very helpful. And um, you know, on the note of whether you give some good or bad, I was just thinking, I did when I was in London give an average review for this hotel we stayed in in Paris. It was perfectly fine, but I thought the rooms were designed poorly, but the staff was lovely, it was clean. But I said, you know, for someone who who's looking for a bathroom with two vanities or whatever, this isn't the hotel for you.

Katy Montgomery 4:02

So you're the only person who goes to Europe where everybody knows things are on smaller scale and not as grand and is looking for two vanities. Only in Europe. I mean, Justin, oh my gosh.

Reading Our Reviews Out Loud

Justin Joseph 4:16

Well, on that note, let's read some of our reviews and we can talk about them. Um, so let's see here. How do I get to my reviews here? Um so, like, here are some of my reviews. Like, you want to hear the bad ones, I'm assuming, because the good ones are boring. Okay, so the sofital, this is the one I told you about rooms were not designed well, lack of storage and small bathrooms, tub showers, a tad perilous across for access, street in front of the hotel was closed, which made travel traveling for luggage an ideal. Staff was a lovely hotel was clean. Like, I it was just fact, fact, fact, fact information, right? Yes, I thought it was helpful. Now, here's a bad one where I left um Josh's car broke down, and we uh we've been going to the same car dealership for years. And I called them, it was five o'clock, and I said, His car broke down. Can we have a tow to you? Yeah, no problem. And I said, What tow service do you? Because you know, toast services are notoriously take advantage of customers. They said, use this one. So we had the car towed the next morning. They called and said, Well, we can't get you in for three weeks. Well, that just set me off because I'm like, why would you not tell me that and not have the car towed there? So this is my review. I've been going to this dealership for years and expected loyalty to mean something. It didn't. And then I explained what happened and I said, having the next day I called back despite having directed me to tow it there. There was no response, no urgency, no accountability, no concern that I now have to pay the car to be towed again to a new place. Um the irony of the new mechanic I found is charges less, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. What's crazy is this woman wrote me back, the owner, and responded and was not nice. Sorry about how you feel, but someone, but for someone who doesn't actually use his real name because it's under Josh's name, which was stupid, we expect a half-hearted attempt at cyber. We we wouldn't expect a half-hearted attempt at cyberbullying. I'm like, give me a break. So I responded and said, anybody who wonders who's right, just read her response above. So we went back and forth, but there's an example. Give me some of yours.

Katy Montgomery 6:04

I mean, so here, these are both in the medical profession. So, first of all, I have a soft spot for physicians. My father was a physician. I work with a lot of physicians at Hopkins. Um, but I also have expectations. And so I gave a six months ago, I gave a five-star review to my physician and said, Dr. X is fantastic, personable, knowledgeable, efficient, and responsive. Finding her and working with her has been one of my top 10 decisions slash actions this year. And so then about a month ago, um, I was assigned, and that was a telemedicine um physician. I was assigned another telemedicine physician. And um, and I really gave this person every chance. And then I immediately went on, and this is my only bad review out of um 13 reviews. It's my only negative review. I had a 1 p.m. um telemedicine appointment with this doctor. It is now 1 42 and absolutely no word from him. He is meant to send an active link when he is ready. When I called to cancel the appointment, um, I can't have a first PCP meeting and the primary care physician meeting in the remaining 18 minutes until my next appointment. I was told this was a regular complaint about this doctor. Um, my father was an oncologist and I worked coaching position leaders, and this is not what doctors do. This was completely unprofessional and unethical.

Justin Joseph 7:23

See, I think that's interesting because of course my bad reviews coming from a place of anger and spite and vengeance, but that's just what they are. But they really should come from a place of trying to help the next person. So the next person in your position doesn't wait for this doctor who knows shows. So, you know, that's my goal, that's my goal in life.

Katy Montgomery 7:41

Well, and I think what's interesting is some of this ratings is bullshit because if you go in and read the reviews for this position, they're very spotty. But the ones that are very good, I think are people who are part of his tribe and part of his community. And I and I'm I'm making assumptions, but I'm like based on some last names and some cities and you know, and where they're from. I have also seen that there are some people who are notorious and go in and give completely bad reviews. So what I think is interesting is, you know, there are some companies, depending on the kind of company, they can't refuse service, but some can. I think what's going to be interesting is our review is gonna become such a mainstay that people are gonna start to look and say, I'm gonna look up this customer. And that's why I've been very sensitive to this too. You know, first of all, I don't want to be someone who ruins it for someone. Maybe that person had a bad day, but I was like, that's unprofessional to have me waiting 42 minutes, you know, for an appointment. But what I don't want to do is for someone to look me up and be like, this is a trend with this person. This person's a negative Nelly. What's the common denominator? The common denominator is that this person is never satisfied. Um, and you know, and if people want to do a little due diligence, they can do that and see.

Justin Joseph 8:58

Yeah, I think that's actually I think that's a really good point. I mean, that's always the fear is that you know they start refusing you service, like, no, we didn't really want to service someone like you. God, I would be dead. I'd be fixing my own toilets or something. Um, but yeah, I think but I that's interesting. I hadn't thought about it from that perspective, but it is helpful. I will tell you, I had a really uh I think I've talked about this on the show before, I had a really tough quarter for real estate last year, meaning that I I had some really tough clients. And one of them who I'd been working for for six months when we got under contract just was very difficult, and that's all I will say. Having said that, I I mean I was comp I had my managers involved from the beginning. I could just tell he was not happy. Um he thought when a contract under under market on his house, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Well, all I could think about throughout the entire transaction, and I did get him to the finish line was he's gonna leave me a bad review. I mean, I don't care that he hates me or that I hate him. That's fine with me. I just didn't want him to leave me a bad review, and he didn't, thank goodness in the end.

Katy Montgomery 9:51

But well, and most people don't take the time to write, you know, reviews. I mean, um again, it has to be, you know, it has to swing, you know, dramatically, and you have to be a person who actually, you know, writes reviews. But I do think it's nice when you've had exceptional service. And if somebody goes through and reads some of my reviews, they're not necessarily for the organization, it is for a particular person.

Justin Joseph 10:17

So meaning for that person, yeah.

Katy Montgomery 10:19

So I'm mentioning like a particular person at a restaurant in Singapore. I'm mentioning a particular the Somalier um at a restaurant in New York City, you know, individuals, because and the reason I do that is I think maybe that is how they are potentially promoted or compensated or at the time of review, that if you have a customer who is using them by name, so there have been times where I can be like, you know, what is your name? And I note to self and then I make sure to very clearly, you'll see one time I had a very good experience at Verizon, and I'm like, thank you, Franklin, at Verizon. Like I wanted him to get those kind of kudos points because I thought it could potentially help him in his career.

Justin Joseph 11:00

I love that. And I think that's something I aspire to do. I try and leave good reviews when they are good and name names, et cetera. Um, on the other side of the break, we'll talk about what makes a good review and what makes a bad review, what you can do to improve your improve your reviewing skills. We will talk about that on the other side. We'll be right back.

Katy Montgomery 11:16

You've been listening to Wrong Way Forward, where bad advice goes to die and then gets resurrected just so we can roast it again.

Justin Joseph 11:24

If you're enjoying the chaos, hit like and subscribe and come back every Thursday for new episodes.

Katy Montgomery 11:28

Have a new topic or some disastrously bad advice you want to dissect? Email WrongwayFordPodcast at gmail.com. Include your contact info.

Speaker 2 11:38

Now back to Wrong Way Forward. Roasting the worst advice ever. Welcome back to the Katy and Justin Podcast.

Justin Joseph 11:44

Welcome back to this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward where we're talking all things reviews. And what that means is when do you leave reviews? Do you leave reviews only when you have good experiences, when you have bad experiences? We're talking about that today. Of course, we always invite you to be part of the conversation. You can text us on our text line at 720-251-4450. Leave us a review on the text line if you like. Um, you can also email us at wrongwayforwardpodcast at gmail.com.

What Makes A Review Fair

Justin Joseph 12:10

But what we're talking about now is there are guidance factors, Katy, to what makes a good review and what makes a bad review. What do you think some of those things are just from guessing?

Katy Montgomery 12:18

Well, I think, first of all, most people are lazy and so they're gonna just look at the initial how many stars before they even read. I mean, we're making assumptions that people are reading through your text. So I think if you're giving someone a one star, it's gonna really pop. And I think that is clearly hands down a bad review.

Justin Joseph 12:34

Yeah, of course. Um, this says that the main things you should consider when you leave reviews are to be specific. Says the times you should uh leave reviews is not when it's when there's a pattern of failure, not just a one-off. When a business doesn't fix a problem, when there's dishonesty or misrepresentation, that's a big one, I think. Health or safety, I think is a good one. Um, and when the experience was objectively unacceptable, that's the times when you should leave reviews. When you should not leave. Oh, go ahead.

Katy Montgomery 13:01

Well, I think you know what I'm thinking about now, too, is like, has the standard changed? You know, like what is the baseline? Because I think the baseline has changed. Like, you might see this necklace that I'm wearing, and it's I bought multiple pieces of jewelry with one jewelry store. I've developed a relationship with this person there. And she said, when I purchased it, I'll send you the appraisal. I asked her a few times, I asked her a few times again, and then I said, Look, I'm doing an you know, an articles addendum, you know, for some of my jewelry to my insurance. I need to have the appraisal. And she just didn't respond to my text.

Justin Joseph 13:36

That's terrible.

Katy Montgomery 13:37

I'm about to move out of my house, and so I want to make sure things are insured. And I said, and I wrote back kind of facetious, but like, it's been one month because I didn't want to hound you. And, you know, and then also, you know, with my other insurance person, you know, I said, I want to pay you to insure these things. You're you you haven't followed up. And I am

Loyalty And Customer Service Decline

Katy Montgomery 13:58

finding now that I think customer service is declining. I find it absolutely amazing that when I spend money, you know, and and kind of you're talking about the getting the car fixed, the fact of loyalty, being a frequent customer, you know, having the extra follow-through, it's not happening anymore. And so for me, I think for me to leave a bad review, it has to be very, very bad because I do think the average, I think a lot of pull people are pulling out C minuses, which kills me that I'm spending money for a C minus.

Justin Joseph 14:34

Did the woman ever get your appraisal?

Katy Montgomery 14:36

Um, well, I wrote her again today and she said, Oh, well, I'll send it along. And I'm like, we'll see.

Justin Joseph 14:42

And you bought multiple pieces of jewelry from this woman?

Katy Montgomery 14:45

Mm-hmm. And I have another one.

Justin Joseph 14:46

You wouldn't buy it again, would you?

Katy Montgomery 14:47

Well, here's the thing: I it really breaks my heart because it is so fun to shop there. They have such interesting stuff. It's where my sister Lee lives. It's a really fun kind of thing that we go and do.

Justin Joseph 14:59

And I'm just the owner or is she just an employee?

Katy Montgomery 15:03

She's the employee, but she's kind of like the number one employee. So I think she goes to market, she has relationships with jewelry makers, but it just breaks breaks my heart. But then at the same time, um, there's an artist out of New Orleans, and I inherited a piece of art from my parents. And, you know, my dad bought this for my mom 12 years ago, and I wrote them an email and I said, I don't know if you're ever gonna remember this piece. Is there any way I can get an appraisal? Immediately wrote me back, and in a day I had an appraisal and they put one in the mail, and I got it four days later.

Justin Joseph 15:35

Isn't that amazing?

Katy Montgomery 15:36

That's amazing. And this is someone who had no previous relationship with me, right? And that my dad purchased this 12 years ago. That is Alex Beard Art in New Orleans. I will go back, I, you know, I will sing his praises, you know. But this other jewelry store, and it just makes me feel like and oh, I thought we had a relationship. I thought we had fun, I thought we liked each other, but I'm not gonna go in and write her a negative review because she knows better and she's gonna get away with it. But even if she got a negative review, I know the customer group there, they're not reading Google reviews.

Justin Joseph 16:14

No. Fascinating. And is it the appraisal? It's just it's not a hard thing to do, is it? I've only heard of it.

Katy Montgomery 16:20

And if she had done it on time, she would have gotten so many, you know, good points, good energy, you know. And now instead, I'm just I'm disappointed.

Justin Joseph 16:30

On that note, here are the situations where that Google says you should not leave a review. You were just in a bad mood. Okay, that's probably half of mine. Um, it was a minor inconvenience. I'd like to apply this to my towing situation. I was not in a bad mood. It was a major inconvenience because it cost me $150 to tow a car. You didn't give them a chance to fix it. Yeah, I did. And it's purely subjective preference. So I totally was in the right on this review, I think. Your thoughts?

Katy Montgomery 16:56

I mean, again, I, you know, I we were hoping that I could sign in as Justin and see his reviews and that he could sign in as me and see my reviews. I would like to see your reviews in its entirety. I'd like to see the entire portfolio and see how you're coming across.

Justin Joseph 17:13

This says um good reviews should reward excellence and build relationships. That's a nice way to look at it. Yeah. Bad reviews, last resort after failed resolution, neutral silence for everything in between.

Katy Montgomery 17:24

Yeah, I mean, you know, and it's it is interesting. Like, you know, I usually also write a review when somebody's gone above and beyond. So, like when I was in Morocco and we went out and did kind of glamping out in the desert, I left my Kindle. And then the next day they went out to camp and then delivered it to me in the city. You know, that to me is like going kind of above and beyond. I do, I do think it's important to reward that stuff. I also think it's really nice again to do the call out. I remember the very first time I started getting reviewed by students, and there is nothing better than seeing the comments and seeing your name come up over and over.

Justin Joseph 18:05

Did you get any bad reviews? I mean, that would be so hard to read.

Katy Montgomery 18:09

I'm trying to remember, you know, generally, no, I do remember when I was at NCI and I taught for the first time, and they were like, a lot of her teaching her examples are American and and very southern and not relevant to most of the world. And I was like, Oh, fair. I think you could have said it a little nicer, but it was really telling you.

Justin Joseph 18:30

That is hilarious. That's like the theme of our show.

Katy Montgomery 18:33

Yeah. Well, I mean, be careful because right now we've got a perfect 5.0 and 40 reviews. So please, please.

Justin Joseph 18:42

Oh, yeah, do review us. Exactly. On that note, when we come back, we're gonna talk about some text um responses we got to our recent episode on apologies. We're also talking are we talking Tiger Woods this episode?

Katy Montgomery 18:52

Yeah, I think we're gonna just do a little kind of touch base on Tiger's recent kind of mishap.

Justin Joseph 18:58

Can we talk about it? Coming up in Block C, we'll be right back after this. Thanks for streaming Wrong Way Forward, the weekly reminder that advice is usually free for a reason. We call out bad advice wherever it hides, boardrooms, break rooms, and even book clubs.

Katy Montgomery 19:12

Enjoying this dumpster fire, like, subscribe, and check back every Thursday for new episodes. Want us to roast your favorite piece of nonsense? Email us at wrongwayforwardpodcast at gmail.com. Be sure to include your contact info. We're not psychic, just judgmental. And now back to Wrong Way Forward.

Speaker 2 19:31

Roasting the worst advice ever. Welcome back to the Katy and Justin. Isn't there a song that's like, welcome back?

Justin Joseph 19:37

Hi, welcome back to this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward. We're just talking about we need music coming back, but we know that the editor puts that in. But I'm sure by now you're probably hearing tired of hearing. In season three, maybe we'll redo our intros and outros. Remember in Oprah? She when she would every new season, she would be Oprah, and then she'd come back and the next year it'd be a new song.

Katy Montgomery 19:55

No, I don't, I don't remember that.

Justin Joseph 19:57

Did you not watch Oprah every day?

Katy Montgomery 19:58

I did, but I didn't watch it so carefully that I kept caught that the intros and outros were different.

Justin Joseph 20:05

Okay, well, anyway.

Forgiveness Regrets And Tiger Woods

Justin Joseph 20:06

All right, so a couple weeks ago we talked about apologies the right way and wrong way to make them, and um, and the title of our episode was Flexing Your Apology uh muscle. We did get an email from a viewer who said, Your podcast about apologies and forgiveness struck a chord with me. Before my brother passed away, I was angry with him. When he apologized, I only half accepted it. At the time I told myself I was protecting myself, but then he died unexpectedly. What I've learned is that since uh holding on to your anger didn't protect me at all, it became the big biggest regret of my life. I would give anything to go back and to fully accept his apology, to forgive him completely, and then to move forward without any reservation. So my advice to anyone listening is this if someone is trying to make things right, don't hold back out of fear or pride. Forgive fully. Say the words, let it be real. Flex your apology muscle is what this viewer is saying.

Katy Montgomery 20:57

I mean, I I love that. And I I love our listeners, I love our viewers, and I love the vulnerability in that. And I think that is good advice. That is not the wrong way forward, that's the right way forward. So thank you for sharing.

Justin Joseph 21:08

100%. I think that's a really good um frames up that what that episode was about in a really nice way. Um, we're also talking about Tiger Woods. You probably remember recently he was he flipped his car.

Katy Montgomery 21:19

This is his fourth um crash since 2009. So if we were writing a review about, you know, Tiger Woods driving, I think that it might get a one star.

Justin Joseph 21:30

Speaking of that, I got a speeding ticket the other day, but that's another story.

unknown 21:33

Okay.

Katy Montgomery 21:34

Well, I mean, I think most of our viewers know that my my mother was hit. Her her body, she wasn't even in a car. She was hit by someone under the influence. And I think now with um Uber and Lyft and public transportation and friends and connections, and particularly Tiger Woods, who has enough money, you know, to Yeah, I think it's worth one point three billion dollars is whatever. That's just this is ludicrous. This is a cry for help. Um, this is out of control. It is incredibly entitled behavior. And next time he's not just gonna possibly kill himself, he's gonna kill someone else. And maybe one of the grandkids, yeah. Yeah, I find it incredibly, incredibly offensive, and I find it absolutely ludicrous that he has been allowed for this behavior for so long.

Justin Joseph 22:26

I a hundred percent agree. You know, they I guess he he um had no alcohol in his breath, and then they they just reported, I guess, a couple weeks ago, that he had two pills in his pocket of hydrocodone. Is that an opio opioid, firstly?

Katy Montgomery 22:39

I mean, it sounds like it is, but I have to double confirm.

Justin Joseph 22:42

But anyway, what's crazy to me is that, you know, fine, get behind not fine, but if you are going to get behind the wheel having had a few pills, and he's speeding around another truck, it is insane to me. I mean, what person is speeding around another truck on a two-way highway, fucked up or not? It's just crazy to me.

Katy Montgomery 23:01

Well, and I don't know, it actually was riveting. I don't know if you ever saw the Tiger Woods. It's like if they're two or three-part documentary on HBO. I couldn't stop watching.

Justin Joseph 23:11

Oh, I'll have to watch that.

Katy Montgomery 23:12

Um, his dad did a real number on him. And he clearly is messed up and there's a lot of stuff going on there. But it's like take safety and take precaution. And I what I am just flabbergasted by is that that he doesn't have a private driver. And you had mentioned casually is that's because he doesn't want anybody to know his business. Yeah. That's what's super crazy because now everyone knows his business and they're gonna dig even deeper into his business. And so it's like get a driver, have him sign an NDA, overpay them. And instead, now we know you've had four crashes since 2009. And again, I've mentioned this before on this podcast. His children have been through the ringer, they already know about their dad's poor behavior, his sexual addiction. Just no kid needs to know that their parents are that messed up. It's like this is not just about you, Tiger. This is about, you know, your children,

Wrap And Ways To Reach Us

Katy Montgomery 24:12

this is about your family. It's like I the entitlement there, even if he is hurting, just really just disgust me.

Justin Joseph 24:20

100%. Um, on that note, we always invite you to participate in the conversation. Our text line is 720-251-404450. You can also email us at wrongwayforward at gmail.com. And of course, um, we invite you to participate in the conversation.

Katy Montgomery 24:36

We would love to see you on all of our social media. That's YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram. Um, and then you can also see us on YouTube. So talk to you soon.

Justin Joseph 24:46

Thanks, everybody. All right, that's a wrap on this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward. Remember, the only thing worse than taking bad advice is giving it.

Katy Montgomery 24:54

If you've liked what you've heard, like, subscribe, or follow us wherever you stream podcasts. And if you've got a topic or need some advice, we'll probably regret giving, email us at wrongwayforwardpodcast at gmail.com.

Justin Joseph 25:08

Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward.