Men Written By Women Have RUINED Real Men… And Reddit AITA Stories Confirm It 👀

In this episode of Plot Twist Please, we’re diving into the internet’s obsession with fictional men and asking the important question: have book boyfriends completely ruined our standards for real men? 💘📚 From “touch her and die” MMCs to husbands who can’t find the ketchup directly in front of them, we compare BookTok fantasy men to real-life husband behaviour through chaotic games, debates, Reddit horror stories, and way too much emotional investment in fictional characters.

 ✨ Today’s cocktail: Mimosas
 🎧 Tune in, sip with us, and remember — keep your glass, your bookshelf, and your TBR full.

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Welcome to Plot Twist, Please – the ultimate bookish podcast for readers who love deep discussions, honest book reviews, and trending BookTok favourites. We talk fantasy books, romance books, thrillers, YA series, and everything in between whilst sipping on our favourite cocktails. From old favourites to the latest viral reads, we’re here for all the plot twists.

✨ Weekly episodes featuring book recommendations, character analysis, and spoiler-filled discussions. If you love BookTok, BookTube, and Bookstagram, this is your space!


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INTRO 
Music by TossedOnion - Just Vibin' - https://thmatc.co/?l=0191967D

Music by Anja Kotar - July (strings version) - https://thmatc.co/?l=3E25A972

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

I just think that that whole type of man is overdone at this point.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

I think a man could replace that type of- I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 0:07

I want them to give it to me.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Someone else came up with this idea. The women writing these men to figure it out and tell me what I need. Touch her and die. I think a lot of men are a little laxadaisy on that. Or the I'm gonna like train you. I'm like, yeah, come train me. Oh, like for battles? Yeah. Am I the asshole for reading at home with my husband? I enjoy reading books, but my husband feels that it is rude for me to read when we are both home. What? Because I am ignoring him. Oh my god, get it together.

SPEAKER_05 0:36

Insecure man.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

That's a walking red flag right there.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

And then the husband steps up and is like, Don't talk to my wife that way.

SPEAKER_03 0:43

Yes! Which fictional trait would become terrifying in real life? Obsession. Yeah, I was gonna say that.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Yeah, the stalking? Yeah. An obsession. My favorite trope would be very scary in real life.

SPEAKER_05 0:55

For you to turn around and be like, hey, can you run to the grocery store? They probably punch like five civilians in the face.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

That's my orange juice for my lady. It's the last one. Sword, get your hands off them. What's a dentist?

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Y'all don't need to book an appointment. Their teeth are falling out of their face.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Their teeth are falling out of their face.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Welcome back to Plot Twist Please, where we sip, flip, and spill the tea on books and booze. I'm Cass. I'm Beth, and I'm Susanna. Women online are obsessed with emotionally intelligent MMCs. Meanwhile, someone's real husband just asked where the ketchup is while directly standing in front of it. Today we are talking about fictional men written by women and why we now have unrealistic standards and get the ick real quick.

unknown 1:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:43

That we do.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Yes. So today's drink of the episode is Mamosas. Memos because we're recording at 10 a.m. It's 10 a.m. Santa's coming.

unknown 1:55

Santa! Santa!

SPEAKER_05 1:58

I know him. Before we get into discourse though, I think we're all reading the same book, Fury Bound by Sable Sorensen. Sorensen. We're just at different different parts. I'm at 61%. Beth is at 30. 30.

SPEAKER_01 2:13

12.

SPEAKER_05 2:14

I have so many good quotes I want to share with them, but they don't want me to spoil it, so I'm just like waiting.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

We're not in this video yet. So there's a reason why us women are drawn to and love fictional men. I feel like it's pretty easy to guess why, because they're not real men. Oh, I was gonna say, because it's fake men written by real women. That and real women know what we want from a man. That is very true.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

Despite the narrative that women don't know what they want, we sometimes do. Yeah, we do. We do.

SPEAKER_05 2:43

Nate pointed this out to me though. He's like, every male main character that you guys are obsessed with is the same. Like dark, tall, handsome, shadows, tattoo sleeves, and a head full of hair, and that's his main thing that he's doing. I'm like, no, that's not true.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

Like I used to always hate that Sam Hewen was like super buff and outlander, and he'd be like, He's you know that's not real. I was like, that is real, is real. It can be real for you too. Yeah, that's always like you just have to work for it.

SPEAKER_05 3:12

Yeah, that's all that's missing here.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

This too could be you. That's fair.

SPEAKER_05 3:17

I did reassure Nate, and there's this game called Dragon's Age the Vale Guard, and in the game is a character named Solace, who is a bald elf. And throughout the whole game, I wanted to romance Solace because you can pick like a different romance character. I'm like, just so you know, I wanted the bald guy once.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

All right, the reasons why we love fictional men, there's a few. We've got emotional intelligence, big one, competence, yeah, big, big, yeah. The protectiveness, which real men in real life, I'm sure, have. Some. Some communication, big one. But that's also a big trope in a lot of the books. For sure, but that's why we love them, because they know how to communicate.

SPEAKER_05 4:01

Well, no, no, there's like miscommunication tropes. Yeah, the misconception.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

Oh, miscommunication tropes. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah. Then we've got devotion, the obsession, and the touch her and die tropes. Which I will say the one thing I think that really feeds those is the his point of view.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

Yes. Because like some of the these men in real life could have that. We have no idea. We don't know what's going on in their minds. Usually it's just like they also are not as eloquent about their devotion and obsession obsession. I wish they would be more eloquent. Eloquent, yes. I think they're more like, I like her butt. Or her boobs.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

I won't be able to. And then they walk by and they're just like cheers.

SPEAKER_05 4:35

And then we have like the book talk trends. So we have the green flag MMCs, which in my mind are boring. A little boring. There needs to be a little bit of a red flag. They need a little rugby. They need a little danger. A little spice, a little bit of like you know, morally gray.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

The spice.

SPEAKER_05 4:51

Yeah. The toucher and die, as you said, the shadow daddies, which, in my opinion, I do need like a different power to be. You know what we should add in here too? The villains. The villains. I do love myself a good villain, but again, that fits into like the morally great character.

SPEAKER_03 5:06

But I think I think it's just that all of the shadow daddies has been written in the way of it's got the touch her and die, it's got the praise kink, it's got the obsession, devotion to just that one person. Yeah, no one don't they don't seem to really like anyone else. And then all of a sudden, like she comes along and it's like you, only you, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Yeah, locked in.

SPEAKER_05 5:27

I do want something different though, I feel something like that. For the powers you mean. For the powers, and maybe like, I don't know. I don't want any blonde men, but Jax fits in there. I just think that that whole type of man is overdone at this point, and I do think I want to be obsessed with it. I think a man could replace that type of I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 5:45

I want them to give it to me. I don't want the answer. I want them to figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Someone else come up with this idea. I want the women writing these men to figure it out and tell me what I need. Tell me what I want. And then let's not forget the Acts of Service Kings. Oh, Acts of Service. That would be your guy. That is my love language. It is. Acts of service does not follow, like, hey Beth, you can go grocery shopping by yourself. Does not fall under that category. If you want time for yourself, you can go grocery shopping alone.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

Carry all the time. I want I ran out early with the kids to grab you Starbucks. Yes. Your order, which I already know. Here it is, nice and hot. And by the way, you have an appointment to go get your nails done. Don't rush if you want to stop and go thrifting after.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Zach, take some notes, okay? I will say Ty's really good at certain acts of service. He'll come home with my favorite like Diet Coke or my favorite candies randomly. Just surprise me with them. That's nice.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

Sometimes he does. Zach does that. I'm more I'm more of a manual labor acts of service person though. Without harassing them? Yes, that's yeah. I will say the one thing Zach's gotten decent at is cleaning up the kitchen. But I've recently learned that there's a part of a reason for it. Is Zach hates bathtime? Oh. So he'll be like, Oh yeah, if you want to go get the bath started, I'm gonna go clean the kitchen. I'm like, oh okay, yeah. What do you prefer? Do you like bathtime or dishes more? The bathtime is chaotic and it can be wild, and you usually come out of it very wet. I'm not gonna lie. Oh, okay. Well, I don't think that counts then. No, so yeah, and that's like I'm like doing it. It's so nice that he like he's really stepped up at like cleaning up the kitchen. Then it's like you there's a motive. You motherfucker. Yep.

SPEAKER_05 7:26

Yep. So which fictional trait would actually be amazing in real life?

SPEAKER_03 7:33

There's so many. Some of them have like a OCD uh cleanliness. Actually, Stark has that.

SPEAKER_05 7:40

Right? Yeah, from their band.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

I would take that in real life.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

That would be nice, actually.

SPEAKER_05 7:45

I think there has to be like a good medium. It can't be like my stepdad kind of OCD, like where we have to wipe out some of the things.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

So I was gonna say one of my friends, her husband's OCD, and she was talking about how her son had built this like Lego city, and he was all proud of it, goes to bed, he left it out, and the dad was like, Ah, yeah, nope, it's got clean. So he cleaned it up. The their son woke up the next morning and was gone, and he like lost it because he worked so hard to build this Lego city, and yeah, and then his dad cleaned it up well after he had a couple of things.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Yeah, that's a line. That's too much. Yeah, so too much.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

OCD to a point, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Just a touch of it, yeah. A dash of OCD.

SPEAKER_05 8:25

Yeah, like if you see there's hair on the floor, please vacuum it.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Vacuum it, yes, you know.

SPEAKER_05 8:30

That's what I would love. He's he says he's gonna try to vacuum more, but he helps. I said Mondays is my deep clean day. I do deep clean all day. That's what you need to expect. Yeah, so you can help with that.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

So definitely that. I also like the touch her and die. I think a lot of men are a little laxadaisy on that, you know.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

Um, or the I'm gonna like train you. I'm like, yeah, come train me. Tell me, run behind me, being like, go faster. Oh, like for battles. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:01

I think like the touch her and die would be really good, like translated to real life if, like, let's say the in-laws, like not your parents, obviously, they're good. Yeah, but like or your in-laws, like if they were saying something to you that was like disrespectful in any way, and then the husband steps up and is like, don't talk to my wife that way.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_05 9:24

That's the one.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

That's the one. I think it is hard. I think it's hard calling out people who are close to you on their bullshit. Yes. I mean Cass is pretty good at it, but she's gotten better. I never used to be this way. Yeah, you've definitely gotten better, but you still like I think you still and we all do it, hold back to a certain point or hold back with certain people because you're just like, well, I don't want the drama of it. But in the end, it actually does usually make things worse when you don't speak. Well, the resentment builds up too. Yeah. So which fictional trait would become terrifying in real life? Obsession. Yeah, I was gonna say that.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Yeah, the stalking, yeah. And obsession, my favorite trope, would be very scary in real life.

SPEAKER_05 10:03

Also, the sorry, I just have a photo, uh a picture in my head of like you standing on your balcony or something, and then ties just like behind a tree from the park with his bird camera. I see you.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

Also, the here we have the black-headed warm there up for fresh air.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

The blue-footed booby on the deck reading.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

The being chased through a forest trope also would terrify me. I have a fear of being chased. Okay, but I love it in both.

SPEAKER_03 10:38

But it was it was in the context of Josh and Allie at the end of Lights Out.

SPEAKER_01 10:43

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_03 10:44

I'm sorry, being chased, followed by like muddy sex at the end. Yeah. And you're okay, like you've given the consent to be chased down. Right.

SPEAKER_05 10:55

Muddy sex, though? That's asking for an infection of some sort.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Those don't exist in books. That's fair. Worried about the ticks and the mud.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Oh, the ticks! The ticks. Yeah, especially since the government's coming for us with that.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

They are. I'm on that, I'm fully on that conspiracy train. Yeah. Which MMC would absolutely fail at normal life? Kingfisher. Pretty much any man written by Carrie Lake. True. They all need serious therapy.

SPEAKER_03 11:25

If they came into normal life, could you imagine? Like they I would just, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

No, you're totally right.

SPEAKER_05 11:30

It also says Cassian because he has the pass massive wings, so he'd just like make a mess anyway. But personality-wise, I think he would adapt. Adapt, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

It's just have a harder time adapting.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

Yeah. Yeah. He's just a little too dark for. I feel like he'd find a really nice, like, Screamo band and be fine.

SPEAKER_05 11:50

I need his book pronto though. I really need to know what his love story is.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Yeah. In my brain, Azreel is like he's in a a dark emo band. Okay, which MMC would absolutely thrive in real life.

SPEAKER_05 12:06

Freeze and Resand would do well. Josh.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

He's very relatable.

SPEAKER_05 12:12

I'd say Wrath too.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Wrath. That's true, actually.

SPEAKER_05 12:16

He did kind of mingle in the human world. Yeah. So I think he'd be adopted.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Yeah. All he needed was a couple cannolis, and he was like, I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. I can stay I can I can stay here. I also don't think Zaydan would make it.

SPEAKER_05 12:29

You don't think he'd make it? I think it'd be too hard. I think that like Zaydan and Stark are very like similar. I don't think Stark would make it either.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

They they thrive, I think, on the the war and chaos. Yeah. And they've been brought up in it, right? That's all they know. Yeah. Yeah. You're right.

SPEAKER_05 12:44

Like Stark has been kind of conditioned for that too.

SPEAKER_03 12:47

So for you to turn around and be like, hey, can you run to the grocery store and grab they'd be like, Pardon?

SPEAKER_05 12:52

They'd probably punch like five civilians in the face. That's my orange juice for my lady. It's the last one.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Yeah. Yeah. The sword. Get your hands off that. What's a dentist? I don't need to book an appointment. Their teeth are falling out.

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Their teeth are falling out of their face.

SPEAKER_05 13:09

That is one thing that they don't write in books is like the hygiene, unless it's like the women in the tub washing off the grime and the the guy is like rinsing off. But they don't mention like brushing teeth. Yeah. And I don't even know if toothpaste exists in their world. They could probably just have like rotting mouths, but there's no description of their smiles.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes there is like they'll talk like their white teeth or their straight teeth or something. Yeah, when they when they smile. They all got the veneers.

SPEAKER_05 13:35

Yeah. Yeah. I don't mind the janky teeth though. Like Henry Cavill, he has some pretty janky bottom teeth.

SPEAKER_03 13:40

I don't think I've ever looked at his teeth. I've been distracted. Susie's apparently like honed in every detail. Some people have like a teeth thing, right?

SPEAKER_05 13:48

Well, when you've had braces and stuff too, like I feel like my sister said this too. Like when you have have spent a lot of time with metal in your mouth, you tend to like look at other people. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Alright, let's play a game. Let's do it. Okay, so this is book boyfriend or real boyfriend. I'll just say book or real. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's do that. This is round one. Basic chaos. Okay. Remembering your coffee order perfectly. Book.

SPEAKER_05 14:14

Real for me. What? Yeah, Nate always remembers what I get. He actually reminds me of my own co my own order. Starbucks? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Yeah, that's true. Zach and Ty at Starbucks. Fish out of water.

SPEAKER_05 14:24

Nate's like, oh, you forgot the lactose-free milk. I'm like, oh, you're right. And then he goes up to the person who's like, can we get that lactose free? And I'm like, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Fair. Okay, Nate, whatever. Says I'm fine while visibly upset. Both. Both and real. Yeah, both. It depends on which MMC. That's true. Josh probably would communicate.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

Maybe a little bit, but I think he would start with the I'm fine. And his Batman voice.

unknown 14:49

I'm fine.

SPEAKER_03 14:50

Yeah, I'd say both.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

Oh my gosh. Love that. Okay. Would burn down a kingdom for you. Buck. Book. Needs to call you while standing in the grocery store. Real. Can sense your mood instantly. Book. Book. Book. Cannot find the item directly in front of him. Real.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

Real.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Gives a heartfelt speech during emotional conflict. Book. Book. Yeah. Replies, okay. Real.

unknown 15:19

Real. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

Watches you parallel perk instead of helping. Real. Real. I'd say Nate would help, but like. Ty would be like, he'd get so pissed off with me. He'd be like, get out of the car.

SPEAKER_05 15:30

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

So I wouldn't say helping. He would just get annoyed.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

We have like our neighbors, like our parking spots are all beside one another. So it's like they've got two, we've got two. Honestly, from like the time that we've moved, I've been giving Zach a hard time about his parking. Because I'll go in my car and his car is beside mine, but it's like this. And especially because like getting into the back doors with the kids, like, I'm like, dude, you should see my park job today. So for the longest time, he was like, Well, it's not my fault, it's Anne's fault. Because he's so he's saying that she parks crooked, so he parks crooked. Oh, he lines himself up with her. I do that too. Which does also doesn't make sense because you're also pulling in next to me. You could just line yourself up with me. But, anyways, then I started sending him pictures and Snapchats of when Ann wasn't even around and he's been parked. And I'm like, and yet you're still crooked. So who's the problem? So I'm sitting in the grass with Ainsley, and he comes in and he always reverse parks. So he's pulling in and he's literally straight. And I'm like, okay, and then at the last second, he goes, and I literally just like look, I'm just like shaking my head, and he must have seen me because all of a sudden he pulls for me and comes back again.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Oh my lord.

SPEAKER_03 16:37

And I'm like, it's you, it has no one else.

SPEAKER_05 16:39

It's you. Maybe Ann parks crooked because of you.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

Yeah, maybe you were the one that's like. It will be me who goes and kicks him out of the cart and goes, I'll just do for sure.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

It would be. Learns your favorite snack without asking. Book.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

Well, maybe mix both.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Without asking.

SPEAKER_05 16:55

Zach's not too bad with that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 16:58

Yeah. I usually have to ask for a snack if he's up. So book. Without asking? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

Yeah. So learning your favorite one. Like learning books and he watches like the things you gravitate to. That's a book boyfriend. For sure. Says where should we eat? Then rejects every option. Real. Real. That's Thai. Holy cow. Needs praise for basic chores. Real. Yeah, real.

SPEAKER_05 17:22

Nate doesn't require praise. I will say that. Like he doesn't require like a thank you. Do you not see that what I did for you? For me. Right?

SPEAKER_01 17:30

You live here too. Right.

SPEAKER_05 17:31

That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Worship and said, right? Worships the ground she walks on.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

Book. I'm gonna say both. Zach's still like ups like annoyingly obsessed with me. So that's what's that one? It's kind of annoying, actually. Get away from me.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

Right.

SPEAKER_03 17:50

Yeah, like the other day, like I was literally like calf asleep, and he puts his hand on my leg. And I'm literally like, get off and off me. And then I was so mad I got up and looked out.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Five o'clock in the morning, just hit that twice. So annoying. Cannot pack for a trip independently. Oh my gosh. Real. Learns her favorite flower book. Book. Both. Book and real. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 18:14

You keep bragging, Beth. You're making bragging.

SPEAKER_03 18:16

He stopped giving me flowers because I told him I didn't like them.

SPEAKER_05 18:19

I I don't like flowers either. I can't keep them alive. I also can't keep anything alive.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

I'd rather food. Food or drink.

SPEAKER_05 18:27

Yeah, you did say that. I think Valentine's Day episode, you said that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Thinks buying groceries counts as babysitting. Real. Round two.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

All right. Domestically incapable. This sounds right up my alley. Can wield seven weapons but can't load a dishwasher. That's real. For you, yes. I'm gonna say book. Yeah. Zach only uses a bow, so I don't think that counts as loading a weapon or even wielding because he hasn't shot anything.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Fair. Nate has zero weapons. Actually, you know what? I'm gonna change my mind to both because Ty will load the dishwasher too.

SPEAKER_05 19:03

Yeah, Nate does load the dishwasher, but I'd say the book boyfriend wouldn't because they don't have dishwashers. Yeah. So they would not know how.

SPEAKER_03 19:10

Maybe it depends on which like storyline you're in. For me, I'm going book. Things wiping the counter counts as deep cleaning. Real. Real. Real. The amount of times that that guy cleans the kitchen but doesn't wipe down the counter.

SPEAKER_05 19:22

You should tell the podcast girlies your your story about the chicken.

SPEAKER_03 19:26

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

I was actually going to bring that up because of the dishwasher. Oh, no, we can bring that up in the am I the asshole rounds. Okay. Because that is our receipts.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

Carries you bridal style book book. Leaves you one singular sip of juice in the fridge. Real.

unknown 19:43

Real.

SPEAKER_03 19:43

Real. Tracks your cycle better than you do.

SPEAKER_05 19:46

But Nate can't be bothered.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

No. Has never replaced a toilet paper roll.

SPEAKER_05 19:50

Nate does this, so I can't say that he doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

This, yeah, Ty will replace the roll. Mmm, that's a tough one. That's a tough one. Inconclusive.

SPEAKER_03 19:59

Yeah. I'm usually the one who fills up the toilet paper, but I'm just as bad if it runs out. So it's it's both. Fair. Uh makes you soup when you're sick. Both. Zach will make soup, but just because he likes soup, not because I'm sick.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Ty will make some he'll make Lipton soup.

SPEAKER_03 20:17

The packet, Zach likes the packet liptons. And then add the packet. The stuff that's well, no, he doesn't add anything to it, but it's just like, but he likes it really strong. And it is like pure salts. Yeah. And it's like so yellow. I'm like, how is this even good for you if you're sick? Right? Opens the fridge and says, we have no food. Real. Real. Real. Would die for you.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

But both.

SPEAKER_05 20:40

I've asked Nate if he would die for me. He's like, yeah, but if push came to shove, I think he'd shove me into the danger.

SPEAKER_03 20:46

To be fair, at this point. You know what? She's annoying. At this point in my life, I don't want Zach to die for me because someone's gotta look after the kids. I will. Okay. And can't make a doctor appointment. Real. Real. Nate does that. Zach thought he was having a heart attack. Like a legitimately thought something like something was wrong with his heart. He wouldn't make a doctor's appointment? Would not make a doctor's appointment. Would not do anything. Or the time where he was having an allergic reaction to the like he literally had hives around, like his eyes were like swollen, his whole face, neck swollen. And he still didn't. He still would not go to the doctor. Why? Because men. Yeah. Men.

SPEAKER_05 21:24

I will say Ty is pretty good at that. He goes to the walk-in, like if he needs to. Yeah, he will. Take your mom, but of course. Yeah. Next, we are doing texting energy. It's the first one. Sends good morning, beautiful. That was a really long silence. Just like living the dream over here. Living the dream. I knew Zach was obsessed with you when we were at, I think, Cassandra's wedding. And just the way he talked about you, I was like, He's always been that way, too. Yeah, I know he's a dozen.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

It's like Jay, it's like it's like Jay with Simone. He's obsessed with her.

SPEAKER_05 22:04

Yeah, like he took he called Beth like the love of his life. And I was like, Yeah.

unknown 22:08

To other people.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

It's really nice for him to say it's other people. If he started saying that to me though, I'd be like, oh get out of my face. I'm just not that type. No. We have very me and Zach is funny because like we I do think we have very different love languages. Like he is very much about affection and touch. And you're like, and I'm like, don't touch me. That's me too.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

Yeah, don't do not show me affection. I'm I'm the opposite. I do like the same on that.

SPEAKER_05 22:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

We're not we're not like overly touchy-feely.

SPEAKER_05 22:42

That's fair. I do like just like a touch or something. But not like, you know, suggestive touch. Like more like a, you know, I love you kind of touch. Are you assuring?

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Yeah. Yeah, he'll do that right now.

SPEAKER_05 22:53

You swipe over the back or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Or he'll walk by and pinch my bum.

SPEAKER_05 22:57

Or if you're walking in public and like the hand on the lower back. Nate only does that if he's trying to steer me away from Kohl's or home sense. But no. The premise is you cannot go there.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Certain stores. Certain stores.

unknown 23:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:12

Reacts to emotional paragraphs with a thumbs up.

SPEAKER_01 23:15

Ty. Real. Real. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. We're in a fight. Or he won't even respond. He's so bad at texting. Ty. If if you ever want to get a hold of that man, yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_05 23:25

Writes poetry about your eyes.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Book.

SPEAKER_05 23:28

Book. Book. I feel like Zach would do that with you, although I don't think it'd be good poetry. Well, Ty or if he did write a song about me. He has. He never released it though.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

Rude.

SPEAKER_05 23:38

But real. Yeah. I don't think he'd do that anymore. But when we were first together, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:43

Sends Instagram reels instead of communicating. Real. That's Ty. Yeah. Says arrived safely with a heart.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

Nope. That's book. I'd say real. 50-50. Yeah. Sometimes I get them, sometimes it's like, you dead.

unknown 23:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:57

Did you make it?

SPEAKER_05 23:59

Yeah. Disappears mid-conversation for seven hours.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

Real.

SPEAKER_05 24:04

I'd say not neat, but I've had people in the past do that. It's really. That's it.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

More book for me. There's usually I usually know if he's disappearing, there's a reason for it.

SPEAKER_05 24:13

Like in the book?

SPEAKER_03 24:14

He doesn't just like he doesn't just disappear. Like you know what I mean? Like it's like, oh, sorry, babe. Like I got I've got this, I have to go and work on, I won't be near my phone. Oh, okay. Well, I always know where Ty is, but like he just stops texting. No, like Zach, Zach will send like a message saying he won't be responding now before he doesn't respond. That's that's good.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

That's good communication. We all got a refill if you're wondering.

SPEAKER_03 24:35

There's been uh there we've had some hard years of learning. Because I'm like, I just assume you're dead. But yeah, so we've had a few conversations of because I he'd be like, Oh yeah, I'll be home by four o'clock. And the next note it's like 5 30, 6 o'clock, and I'm like, mm-hmm, bro. Uh we were supposed to be going for dinner. I'm starving now, and so now I've been waiting on you and I'm hangry.

SPEAKER_05 24:58

Just let me know. Like if you say you're doing something and then you know you're you're out later or you decide to do something else, and like let's say, like, stay at your parents for a visit when that wasn't initially like what he told me he was doing. Just let me know that you'll be home later. Yeah, just a quick text. Yeah, like don't tell me that you're gonna be home at this time and then it's like oh Ty's hours later. Yeah, just communicate. That's all I ask. Calls immediately when you're upset. Book. Real. I'd say real. Use his K.

unknown 25:23

Book.

SPEAKER_05 25:24

Real.

SPEAKER_03 25:24

Really? Real? He's not a K, he's not a K person, like real is not a K person.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

Yeah, Ty would actually just ignore me. That's even worse. Yeah, he just doesn't text. If I need a response, silent K. Yeah, if I need a response, I have to put like question mark, question mark, question mark.

SPEAKER_05 25:39

And then he'll hello. I'll put a mom your mom. Like hello.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

So annoying.

SPEAKER_05 25:43

Sends voice notes at inappropriate times. Book. Book. Book. Double text because they miss you. None? I'd say that's more me.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

I'm the culprit. I would say book. Real. Round four. Book talk men specifically. Touch her and die. Book. Book. Growls during arguments.

SPEAKER_02 26:03

Book.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Touches your lower back in crowds. More book, but sometimes real. Yes. Yes. Yes. Has emotional trauma and zero therapy. Real. Sometimes book too, though. Yeah. Like any uh what's her face? Carrier. No. Yeah. Secretly obsessed with you. Real, but also book. Both. Both. Maybe Nate's secretly obsessed with me. He just doesn't let me know. That's Ty.

unknown 26:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

Actually, no, he did let me know the other day. He sent me this reel, and it was like acting tough but missing my wife anytime she's not home. And I was like, you do? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, you never tell me. And he's like, well, I just want you to go and enjoy your life. I don't want you to like worry about me. And I was like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 26:46

And then there's and then there's Cass who's like actually pushing her husband to not be home.

SPEAKER_03 26:50

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:50

Please go do something.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Zach actually last night was telling me, he's like, uh, you know you're like my favorite person, right? And I was like, yeah. Uh-oh. And he's like, no, like, actually. I was like, yeah, like we're married. Obviously. Yeah. That's obvious. But he was saying he's like, he's like, you're the only person that I don't like get sick of. He's like, that I could just spend all this time with it. I never get tired of it. I was like, well, that's good. Married.

SPEAKER_05 27:15

Yeah. I have this thing. I sometimes I get sick and eight. Like last night, we were on the couch together, and then I'm trying to read. And usually, like when he plays his games, that's different because it's like a continuous like sound. But he was sitting on there watching Reels Boke guitars. And he just like kept scrolling and scrolling, and like everything would change, and it was just annoying. So I literally was like, Can you put headphones on? So he put headphones on, and then I just was like, you know what? I'm going to bed. I'm gonna go be by myself with my projector. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 27:44

I told him that my favorite like goes between the three of them. I was like, sometimes it's you, sometimes it's hair, sometimes sometimes it's Ainsley. Yeah. I was like, sometimes you guys flip through it so fast that I can't keep up.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Yeah. Would absolutely punch drywall. Book. Book. Book. Yeah. Calls you little one.

SPEAKER_05 28:01

Book. I if Nate called me a little one, I'd be like, do I need to call the Popo?

SPEAKER_01 28:05

Like, are you good? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:06

Drew has called me that for the longest time.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

I get called that. Yeah, I've gotten called that by not partners. Yeah. So I'd say more book. Communicates clearly and respectfully. Neither? Neither. They're all pretty toxic. I'd say that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

I can't say I've ever looked at a book boyfriend and been like, wow, that guy is great at communicating and so respectful. True. Yeah, no, they all kind of suck.

SPEAKER_05 28:30

Watches you sleep. Book. Book. Edward. Although I will say Nate will watch me sleep. Like he'll how do you know? It's creepy. Because he wakes me up. Like he'll like literally stand over me. If I fall asleep, that's creepy. Reading my book. He'll come in like twice. No, twice. Once he woke me up just standing over me, he's like, pokes me. He's like, You're asleep.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Like, no, that's creepy behavior, Nate. We need to chat.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

Zach's learned the hard way not to wake me up if I fall asleep on the couch. Just let me wake up naturally. Or you can punch him right in the face. Yeah. Sometimes the couch naps are like the best. They are really good. And then you just wake up like half asleep still and you tumble to your bed and just like keep going. But like when he wakes me up, anger. Pure anger.

SPEAKER_05 29:17

I feel angry too, but I feel like be when I ever sleep on the couch, I get so overheated. Like I get really warm.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

Oh, I get overheated in bed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:24

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Oh, this one's my favorite one. Says, Who did this to you? Book. Oh. Has a morally gray past, but incredible communication skills somehow. Book. Book. Depending on the book. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

All right.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Real five.

SPEAKER_03 29:42

Real husband core. I'm excited. Slaps the top of the grocery bag tower and says, one trip. What? One trip? One trip. Says what? That's real. That is me.

SPEAKER_00 29:53

I am the book core. I will lose blood to my limbs.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

I can't. I hate doing multiple trips.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

Yeah. Falls asleep during movies. He he picked real. Real.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

Real.

SPEAKER_03 30:05

Sends blurry photos instead of screenshots. Real.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

Real.

SPEAKER_03 30:09

I can't see needs for that. I could also be seeing that if a book boyfriend came to the real world. True. Like, I don't really know how this works. True. Gets emotionally attached to random objects. Real. Yeah. Says, I wasn't sleeping. I was resting my eyes. Real. That's actually a typical mom response, too.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 30:28

Uses the wrong Tupperware lid every time.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

Nate. Through and through. Ty does it right every time.

SPEAKER_05 30:34

I was gonna say you. I literally have them sorted in different containers. Thinks holding the flashlight is helping.

SPEAKER_03 30:43

I don't even know if he holds the flashlight. I'm the one who holds the flashlight.

SPEAKER_05 30:46

Yeah, that's me.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

Flash right flashlight, right?

SPEAKER_03 30:48

I'm like, here, you can see better. Honestly, the amount of times that I like I go to go do like a man's job, yeah, and Zach does not do it to my standards.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

I should have just done it myself.

SPEAKER_03 30:59

Or called my dad. Yeah. Yeah. I'm probably gonna end up calling my dad for the trellis. 100%. Yeah. Um forgets why he walked into the room.

SPEAKER_05 31:08

Real.

SPEAKER_03 31:08

Real. Calls every illness allergies. Real and needs verbal directions while using GPS. Real. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:16

Nate doesn't need that. The illness calls every illness allergies. No. He actually thinks their illness is like death illnesses.

SPEAKER_03 31:24

Zach has never been hung over. He's always just not feeling well. Like you're hungover. No, I'm just not feeling I'm just not feeling that well. That's always how it is. I'm just tired. Bro, you're hungover. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

Accept it. Now let's bring the receipts. All right. Here we go. And compare fictional men to the horrors of the internet with some am I the asshole husband stories? And we're gonna rate each one of these. We're gonna break down the categories and rate the husbands.

SPEAKER_03 31:50

Tell me to start with my chicken story though. Yes. Yes. Your own story. Let's do a real life story first. This is a real life one. As I said before, Zach's very good at cleaning up the kitchen, does a great job. I don't necessarily agree with his methods. But there's methods and madness sometimes. But there's also sometimes chaos and madness. That's true. When I was pregnant with Harrison, I went through like a super lemonade. I was craving lemonade all the time. And for some reason, since then, Zach has always has lemonade in the fridge for himself. So it's like he took my pregnancy cravings and has just kept them. Okay. So he always has lemonade going. I went in to grab my Yeti cup because I usually use my Stanley now. And my Yeti cup had been put away with lemonade in it. Nice. Now there's, I was like, there's a nice, like there is a small percent chance it was me because every once in a while I'll have lemonade, but not usually in because we usually just have water in those. Yeah. So I'm pretty pretty sure I know who it is. Culprit number one. Yeah. Now I don't want to drink from it because I was like, oh, I can't get the smell out of your nostrils. So last week I'd gotten home and we had just had the house sprayed for ants. Get in, and I was like, it stinks in here. And I thought maybe like the ant spray had done something. There was like a little mouse that was like living in the kitchen. And I'm literally like on all fours, like sniffing the floorboards. Like where is it? Yeah, trying to figure out where this is coming from. And like, so that's what I was thinking. It's like it has to be a mouse because it was by the corner cabinet, and like down lower is kind of where it smelt. It was like I wonder if it's like died in behind it, but I know he was like the guy was spraying like all like the baseboards and stuff. So I was like, that must be. I'm like, well, this sucks because we have to wait for this thing to just die out. But then it was like, it was like stronger, it was getting stronger. I was like, this is so gross. And I literally got home, and I'm like, as soon as I walked in, I was like, it smells disgusting. Like something died. Yeah, it smells like something died. Like it smells like something was rotting. And Zach's like, there's not really anything in the garbage. And I was like, I don't know what it is, I just know it really sticks in here. So not even like an hour later, Zach pulls out our Dutch oven to cook chicken.

SPEAKER_05 33:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

And there is still chicken in it from the last time that he cooked chicken. So there's chicken juices and chicken parts because he had taken whatever, like bits and pieces of it out. And then in the chaos, it somehow, because the lid probably went back on, and then he probably assumed it was clean and then put it back into the corner cabinets. And this thing reeks. Well, it's probably been sitting there for like at least a week.

SPEAKER_01 34:18

Have you had chicken? At least a week. Not out of that. No, like just in general. Have you had chicken?

SPEAKER_03 34:23

Yeah, we had chicken last night.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

That would just make me not want to have chicken.

SPEAKER_03 34:25

I would like get a new Dutch oven. It didn't smell, it didn't smell like chicken at that point. It literally just smelled like death. Yeah. New Dutch oven. Yeah. So it just was just weird that coincided that I started smelling it at the same time that we had the place sprayed.

SPEAKER_05 34:38

Oh when you said that to the group chat, I literally was ought to be like, oh, and Nate's like, what? And I was like, I told him. He's like, Are you serious? I'm like, yeah, that's nasty. It's Am I the Butthole? For being upset, my husband told me I'm horrible. And it's actually Am I the butthole? It's not Am I the A-hole.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 34:56

I'm not making that up. So my husband and I had a bad fight. I know there's blame to go around, but I want to know if I'm justified in being initially upset. I am a college student, a stay-at-home parent to our five-year-old and baby. Five-year-old woke up really sick today, and my husband just started his X-Men's break from work. Kept five-year-old home from school, and just as I'm about to call his doctor, husband decides to inform me he wants to go grocery shopping, make food, then bring it into work for his company X-Mess party today. I was immediately frustrated. I didn't say as much, but it was probably obvious on my face, and I think I sighed. Husband immediately gets angry over my lack of enthusiasm over it, I guess, and we start to argue. I say I'm tired. I was up with a five-year-old all night and the baby early this morning, and I just wanted support from him today. He tells me to ask my mom to babysit the baby while I bring the oldest to the doctor. I was supposed to volunteer for my five-year-old's school X-Mis party today, but my mom went to volunteer for me instead, so I already felt bad asking her for more. He told me earlier this week he knew I was stressed with finals and the kids not sleeping well this week at all, so he would help me a lot this break. Then we talk slash argue a while. He tells me he would only be gone for an hour or so and I can see, say fine, and even apologize for overreacting and getting frustrated. Call the doctor, set up an appointment, and tell him when it is so he has time to go shopping. He ignores me and I ask if he's still going. He, obviously still angry, says no, he won't go. I say fine, but it's not my fault if he's not going. He then tells me I'm horrible for my attitude, and I tell him, fine, if he thinks I'm so horrible, don't talk to me then. Because he kept trying to talk and argue with me over it. Big fighter ups, he said even meaner S-H-I-T calls me a stupid effing B-I-T-C-H because I mimicked him rolling his eyes at me as I explained to him how little sleep I've gotten this week while he accused me of making it up. I told him I hate him. He threatens to call the police on me for crying. What? Excuse me? Yeah. The police. The police. Wow. For crying. Very dramatic. Anyway, I know all of that is bad and this marriage is SHIT and we'll probably divorce, but dang, did I really warrant being called horrible because I was frustrated with him, even though I effing apologized? No. No. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:59

So is he redeemable? No. No.

SPEAKER_05 37:03

He's that even meaner crap after the initial horror. Even more mad.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

Right? Yeah. Which fictional man would never all of them. Exactly. All of them. Biggest red flag is the calling the police. Yeah. That's very in the name calling. Yeah. Not cool. Was the wife actually the asshole? No. No.

SPEAKER_05 37:23

No, I think she's just exhausted and she had X like expectations that he'd help her. And he was like, nah, I'm going to go do this instead. I don't want to.

SPEAKER_01 37:31

All right, let's rate the husband. We've got number one, golden retriever energy. No. We've got number two, NPC husband. Got number three, emotionally constipated. We've got number four, straight to the dungeon. And number five, villain origin story. I'm going to go with the last three. He's obviously emotionally constipated.

SPEAKER_05 37:50

Yeah. Straight to the dungeon. He's got to go straight.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

He's got to go straight to the dungeon.

SPEAKER_05 37:54

I wouldn't say he's villain, but I would say like he needs to be locked up for a bit. He's got villain energy.

SPEAKER_03 37:59

She's gonna, yeah, he's gonna be a villain in her story, not necessarily the villain. So I'm gonna say straight to the dungeon. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:05

Emotionally constipated and straight to the dungeon is my perfect thing.

SPEAKER_05 38:09

3.5. Yes. Am I the a-hole for encouraging my husband to take better care of himself? Lately, I, 29 non-binary, have been trying to encourage my husband, 30 male, to take better care of his hygiene. He often doesn't brush his teeth before going to work, which is admittedly really gross to me when he comes home wanting kisses. He will often stay up late playing video games and will sometimes pass out in the living room, meaning no brushing teeth. He also doesn't wash his face except for when he showers, which I wouldn't have such an issue with if he didn't wait five days between showers. Oh. I've tried gentle encouragement, which he is was agreeable to, but nothing really changed. Recently I tried to be brutally honest with him and tell him that it really grosses me out, especially when I can taste and feel the oil from his face on my lips when I give him a kiss. I'm gonna throw up. He was again agreeable, but nothing changed. But last time I brought it up, he got really upset because I've already told him this, but I only keep bringing it up because I'm at the point now where I'm no longer attracted to him that I really believe this would change if he took better care of himself.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

I have a question though. Like, was he always this way? Probably not.

SPEAKER_05 39:13

They're not very old, they're 29-30. Right. They're not super young either, but no, but I feel like if they I don't know how long they've been married before, but I'm gonna say emotionally constipated three. Yeah. Yeah, it's almost like a T.

SPEAKER_03 39:28

He's just he's it's not jail time. No, he's just not understanding. It's not computing fully. It's a maturity thing, too.

SPEAKER_05 39:36

He's like, I hear you, but no, I think it's the laziness thing too, because I can't imagine not going without brushing my teeth. Like I or washing or showering for you. Like I shower every day. I wash my hair. It is lazy.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

But I think it's I like I know people who as soon as they got engaged, not even married, engaged, like they flipped. Oh. All of a sudden it was like they just didn't need to try anymore. That's stupid. Yeah, but it is crazy that that's something that happens for people. All of a sudden, it's like, well, I'm gonna be a grease monster now. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

Do we think he's redeemable? I think I think so.

SPEAKER_05 40:10

He just needs to start showering and brushing his teeth, but like it has to be his choice because continuing to tell him this is not working. If he goes for a kiss, just no, just walk away.

SPEAKER_01 40:18

We've talked about this. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which fictional man would never. Here's the line. It's hard though. It's hard to do most fictional men we read about are like war. Um come across that they could be very dirty. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 40:32

Yeah, warm like weather and like Josh would never. Without dental hygiene being a thing. Josh would never that they take it. Yeah, you just assume that this beautiful man is clean. Yeah. With clean hygienic. Yeah. That one was really gross, so I can't.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

Yeah. Biggest red flag, uh, all of it, the hygiene. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:50

Yeah. Like, why don't you want to take his oily skin being left on your lips? No.

SPEAKER_05 40:58

That's so bad. I would have to go wash my face. That's the perfect disgusted appalled face, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 41:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:04

And his wife is not the asshole. I think that's just a like a normal thing to want.

unknown 41:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 41:10

Anyway, those are my stories. We hope you're doing okay.

SPEAKER_03 41:14

I wonder if they're divorced. Yeah. Am I the asshole for not going home after giving birth because my husband missed it to help our friends? I, 32, just had our second baby a few days ago, and instead of going home, I asked to be discharged to my sisters. I don't know if that makes me an asshole or overly emotional or whatever, which is why I'm here. Some background. My husband, 33, and I were teen parents. We had our daughter at 18 and 19. She's 14 now. It's been a long road and we waited a long time to feel ready to go through it all again. This baby was very much planned and wanted. But ever since I hit the third trimester, I felt kind of alone in it. My husband started spending a lot of time with this couple we know. They're in a similar boat. They had their first as teens too, and just had their second recently. I get that's a lot for them. Their oldest is 17 and they weren't planning on another, so he's been helping them out. But it went from a nice gesture to almost daily visits grocery runs, watching their newborn while they nap, fixing stuff around their house, bringing food over, and sometimes with their daughter taking along. Sometimes without even letting me know he was going.

SPEAKER_00 42:09

Hmm. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 42:10

Meanwhile, I was trying to keep up with everything at home. Going to appointments alone, dealing with the mess at his late pregnancy. I brought up to him more than once, and every time he'd either say I was exaggerating or that he was there just not in the way I wanted him to be. He kept saying I was being territorial or weirdly competitive about them needing help, which made me question myself even more. I also started noticing changes in our daughter. She's an ice dancer and has an intense schedule. And after going with her dad to help at their house, she'd come back totally spaced out, quiet, eating less. I figured she was just tired but started to feel off. She almost fell during practice one morning because she was so drained, and her coach made her sit out the rest of the week. This was a big wake-up call for me. I told my husband that enough was enough and we needed to pull back. Not just for me, but for her too. He apologized, said he'd keep the visits shorter, only go when it was really needed. The visits were hardly shorter, but my daughter seemed less tired and could actually go to sleep with my husband some night, so I counted it as a win. When I went into labor, I called him from the car while my sister drove me to the hospital. No answer. Texted, nothing. He showed up about four hours after the baby was born with a slushie for me. Sl stop. Oh my gosh. Said he was sorry, but the other couple had a rough night and he didn't want to just leave them stranded. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want a big scene right there in the hospital when I could be discharged. I just had my sister take me home since my husband wasn't there.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Why was he oh sorry, go ahead. But they needed I can't hold on. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:39

Now he's saying I'm being dramatic and that I'm punishing him for helping people who don't have the support we do. He told me I'm being cold and that I'm setting a bad example for our daughter by shutting him out. He's also implied more than once that I'm trying to act like a victim when he was doing what any decent person would do.

SPEAKER_01 43:56

Bro, any decent person would be with their wife while she gives birth to their child.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

Not four hours later with a slush Yeah What his mom called yesterday and said I should be ashamed for taking the baby away. I never said anything about keeping our son from him. Uh, we found out the issue. I've told him he can come see the baby whenever he wants. I've been texting our daughter, keeping up with her, and I plan to be back home the moment I've recovered enough. I'm not trying to split our family. I just needed a break. You maybe should. A quiet space to breathe and actually rest. I'm exhausted mentally and physically. But now I'm second guessing myself, was it wrong to go somewhere else to recover? Should I have just gone home and tried to work it out there? No. I don't want this to turn into some drawn-out fight or drama, especially not with a newborn in the picture. I don't even know if I'm thinking clearly at this point. Edit, our baby is a boy. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 44:43

And let me get this straight. She is blaming herself.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

I think she's she's worried because you are you are I don't want to say you're not in your right mind when you have uh you've had a baby and you're a little extra emotional. You are emotional, you are, and your body's going through a lot, and there's a lot just going on. So I wonder if she's maybe questioning herself because she's like, I know that I'm going through a lot right now, that maybe I'm not looking at this clearly. So I think that's why she's gone to the the interwebs, but she's looking at it clearly.

SPEAKER_05 45:10

That is messed up for sure. Why is your husband out here helping another couple? A couple he couldn't leave.

SPEAKER_03 45:15

To me, to me, the biggest red flag was her daughter. Yeah, so it's it sounds like because like she's like, Oh, like we've actually been able to go to bed. So, like, was he taking their daughter and then staying there super late?

SPEAKER_01 45:26

That's weird to me. Like, yeah, what could that other couple possibly have going on that is more important than his own family? Yeah, his own daughter going to bed and getting like, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

So I don't know, like that whole like how she kind of described it is like that's there's the whole thing is a red flag.

SPEAKER_05 45:40

There's more going on there than what she knows. Something's weird because that doesn't add up.

SPEAKER_03 45:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 45:44

So there is an update. Oh, okay, perfect.

SPEAKER_03 45:46

Hey again, just wanted to thank everyone who commented on the original post and gave honest feedback. I wasn't in the best headspace when I wrote it, but reading through the replies, even the harsh ones, helped more than I expected, and I figured you were owed at least this small update. So two-ish days after posting, I took my daughter out of school for a few days. I had my sister bring her to her house so we could be in the same space and I could get a better read on how she was actually doing. I didn't want to come at her all at once, so I let her rest and decompress a bit, gave her some room to just be a kid again, sleep in, eat actual food, breathe. Then one afternoon we were doing dishes and just chatting. And I gently asked what it's really been like at the other couple's place. I told her that I wasn't mad, just that I want to understand. She paused for a while, then told me the truth. She's kind of been seeing their 17-year-old son, not officially dating, but spending a lot of alone time together. She said she'd tried to remind her dad it was getting late, but the boy would pull her aside and they'd end up hanging out longer. She didn't get into the details, but it was pretty clear that what she meant by the way she kept blushing and looking away from her. Her being tired all the time suddenly made a lot more sense.

SPEAKER_01 46:46

He's 17? How old was she?

SPEAKER_03 46:51

No. I also asked carefully if anything felt off about her dad lately, like if he seemed out of it or off in some way or was acting strange during their visits. She said not really, but that she'd smelled weed once or twice, especially when they were finally about to leave, and who's usually really sweaty at the end of it. She didn't seem too freaked out about it, but it made my stomach turn a bit.

SPEAKER_05 47:11

Yeah, so he's going there to have a good time, basically, not actually helping. They're getting high. Like I think there's a little bit more going on, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_03 47:18

Yeah, I think so. When my husband found out I'd taken her out of school and brought her to my scissors, he lost it. He accused me of trying to turn her against them and called it parental interference. Like, okay. I told him I just wanted her to rest and have some space. He wasn't hearing it. A few hours later, his mom called me yelling, saying I was trying to steal the baby, isolate our daughter, ruin the family, etc.

SPEAKER_01 47:38

There's the mom again.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

She left this long voicemail about how I needed to bring his children home where they belong. I haven't responded.

SPEAKER_05 47:44

His children. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:46

I haven't told him what our daughter shared yet. I'm still trying to figure out how to bring it up and how to press him for details about what he himself gets up to during those visits, other than what I figured out from what my daughter said. So yeah, that's where things stand. Messy, exhausting, but a little clearer than before. Thanks again to everyone who took the time to comment and offer perspective. It helps more than you know. I'll update again if anything more happens. Edit, I'm so sorry, this is so jumbled. I wrote it out after putting the baby to sleep.

SPEAKER_01 48:10

I really hope she left him. Yeah, me too. I hope there's another update soon or something. Yeah. Because that's just he's not redeemable. Not redeemable. Uh uh, which fictional man would never, like literally all of them. Who are we ever? Uh, biggest red flag is him. Yeah, him in general. There's so many red flags. She is not the asshole, and he is a villain. Villain origin story for sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:29

So in some of the comments were talking about how they didn't think it was just weed. No. With him. Uh if it's not something else that's happening to him to get sweaty, they were saying that like that he's in there doing drugs. Weed's probably just part of it. That's why he's like losing all this time. He's getting like lost in the height of it, basically. Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. Am I the asshole for throwing a cup of cold water on my naked husband?

unknown 48:55

No.

SPEAKER_03 48:55

Now I'm going to preface this by saying she is me. I is she. Yeah. My husband has been tested for ADHD, but he doesn't have it. He has the kinds of problems that are associated with ADHD, however. He says writing lists, making a schedule, setting alarms, etc., is physically painful for him, and he'd rather just deal with the occasional emergencies rather than be proactive. Here's this specific problem. He often forgets to push the shower diverter valve down. Okay. When your husband's 6'3 and you walk in, it's like pshh. Yeah. You know, the little rod on the tub faucet that you push down to make water fill the tub and pull up to make the water come out of the shower. Oh, that thing. Yeah. For nearly 20 fucking years, I have been asking him to push that down. Since I was literally a teenager, I've been asking him to push that fucking thing down. She's very angry. She's 20 years of anger. Yeah. But that's I'm like saying that, baby. Same girl. At least twice a month, I have a very unpleasant wake-up cold shower because I turn the water on and I get a cold spray from the shower. And every fucking time he's apologetic. And then a week or two later, it happens again. Of course. Yep. He'll do better for a while, then it slips in again. He's always telling me that he's working on it. And hasn't he been better about it lately? No. But somehow he's always working on it, always improving. But it never fucking stops. Oh, there's a lot of F-words in this. Today, she's very angry. Today I had just fucking had it. I stepped into the shower, turned it on, and had a very cold and rude awakening. I couldn't fucking take it anymore. I grabbed the sink. Yep. I grabbed the cup by the sink, filled it about three inches with cold water, and walked out to where he was standing naked as he had just taken off his pajamas and was going to take a shower after mine. Without warning, while he was looking down, I held that plastic cup firmly in my hand and grasping it tightly, I jerked that motherfucker at a 45-degree angle to get the cold water all over his torso and face. It is me. I would do this.

SPEAKER_01 50:47

And not even after 20 years. After 20 times, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 50:52

Yeah. Not even. I told him that his apologies were worth the paper they were written on, and I was tired of listening to him congratulate himself for getting better when I'd been asking for 20 fucking years to stop doing this shit. Yeah. I told him I don't accept his apologies, and the fact that it's an accident does not excuse it. I told him that from now on, every time I'm taking a cold shower, so is he. That I refuse to be a second-class citizen in my own home any longer. This is a bit dramatic. And if he refuses to make changes to treat me better, I will instead make changes to treat him worse because I will not tolerate this any longer.

SPEAKER_01 51:22

That's a little dramatic.

SPEAKER_03 51:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

Oh, I'm saying paladin.

SPEAKER_03 51:25

I'm going to continue to surprise throw a cold cup of water on him every time I get a surprise cold chair. I'm tired of fucking asking, begging for basic fucking respect and not getting it. The implication that I have to fucking put up with this forever. So Reddit, I know I'm probably an asshole, but am I a justified asshole?

SPEAKER_01 51:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 51:42

So I guess she was like, she's answering some of the questions. Like, why don't I check myself? Why do I expect him to leave it the way I want it left? I don't expect him to leave it the way I want. What I expect is for him to leave things the way he found them. When he walks into the bathroom, it's pushed down. That's how I leave it. So he doesn't get blasted with cold water. But he doesn't leave things the way he found them. Instead, he often leaves the last 10 or 20% of a task for me to clean up for him. It's an accumulation of it.

SPEAKER_05 52:06

It's actually not good for the faucet either if you don't push it down. Yeah, it's in that like that half too.

SPEAKER_03 52:12

So uh why don't I leave it the way I found it? Why don't you leave it up if he leaves it up? If I left the things the way I found them, I would live in a sty. I would also spend a great deal of energy making things messier as I would literally be cleaning up to make space for myself and then undoing that work to put things back as a mess. Explain your shower to me. Why are you getting in before the water is warm? Folks, you're misunderstanding her situation. She leans in to turn the water, expecting it to come out of the spigot. Instead, shower mode is still in place and the water sprays out of the shower onto her head. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 52:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:41

It is completely rude of the husband to not switch the water flow back to the spigot when he's finished showering. That is basic etiquette.

SPEAKER_01 52:47

Yep. Is he redeemable? I think so. Yes. I don't know how much time it's gonna take. I don't know, but I just maybe another 20 years. It is a very small thing in the grand scheme of things he could be doing.

SPEAKER_05 52:57

Yeah, if she does this every single time. So if she keeps for me, it's that with that cold.

SPEAKER_03 53:04

The fact that it's taking her 20 years of this happening at least twice a month. Yeah, is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 53:10

So for her to hit him with that cold water afterwards, valid. I think it's a great uh training. I mean, you spray cats, like someone's gotta do it. I probably would literally be like, bitch. Which fictional man would never all of them biggest red flag, 20 years. 20 years, 20 years, yeah. The length of time. The length of time. Is she the asshole? Kind of justified. But I would say yes.

SPEAKER_03 53:35

I think she and she even said she's like, Am I the asshole? Yes. Am I justified in being the asshole? I would say yes.

SPEAKER_01 53:41

I would say for rating and PC husband. I was gonna say emotionally constipated. That too, yeah. I think he just doesn't grasp it.

SPEAKER_03 53:49

Yeah, I'd I'd give between the two and the three.

SPEAKER_01 53:51

Both. Yeah. Two and a half. Cool. Am I the asshole for reading at home with my husband? I enjoy reading books, but my husband feels that it is rude for me to read when we are both home. What? Because I am ignoring him. Oh what? To be clear, this does not happen in excess by anyone's definition. I have read a maximum of five entire books since we got together a decade ago, primarily to avoid upsetting him. We have very similar work schedules. Recently I bought a book that was the first in a series of three. Love a good trilogy. And it started this argument to a higher degree than usual because of the fact that it is a series. I've considered going to a cafe and reading in my car, but that seems like a waste of gas when I could just simply read at home where it's more comfortable, anyways.

SPEAKER_03 54:38

I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_01 54:39

But doing so requires that I tell him I'm about to start reading in the study, bedroom, etc., and that I expect to not be interrupted for the next 30 minutes slash hour, which is what I intend to do if the results here favor me. Though this will absolutely upset him because he approaches me for comment or to tell stories every 10 to 15 minutes on average. So am I the asshole?

SPEAKER_05 55:01

No, no, no, I think that's more of like he's very controlling.

SPEAKER_03 55:05

So you're telling me that you're not allowed to relax in your own home.

SPEAKER_01 55:08

You're not allowed to do something for yourself in your own home. When I can almost guarantee you this man does things for himself, probably video games.

SPEAKER_05 55:15

Yeah, 100%. Hobbies are so important, and like you said, he probably has something going on. So why can't she have something exactly? She's only read five books in the decade they've been together.

SPEAKER_01 55:25

Because, yeah, because mainly she doesn't like to hear him complain about it. Wow. So she probably would read more.

SPEAKER_05 55:32

I've literally read 41 books this year, and Nate does not care. No, Ty doesn't care.

SPEAKER_03 55:35

Well then she and then she said she's like where the issue kind of started was that she bought a tr like the first book and a trilogy. And that pissed him off. So you're gonna read three books instead of paying attention to me? Oh my god, get it together.

SPEAKER_05 55:49

Insecure man. Right. Is what that is.

SPEAKER_03 55:52

That's a walking red flag right there.

SPEAKER_05 55:54

Yeah, that's what is he redeemable? No.

SPEAKER_01 55:56

No, that's that's throw him out. Just toss the whole man away, get a new one. Yeah, which fictional man would never, all of them biggest red flag, his whole his whole being.

SPEAKER_06 56:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:08

As a person. Is she the asshole? No, not at all. Not even a little bit close. Yeah. And um straight to the dungeon he goes.

SPEAKER_05 56:16

You wouldn't say he's a villain.

SPEAKER_01 56:17

I think he's both, but I think he needs to be in the dungeon.

SPEAKER_05 56:20

I would give him the villain. Do you yeah? Here. Yeah. I mean, if he's this controlling about books, what happens if there's other things like going to the gym and other things in his life?

SPEAKER_03 56:28

Isn't there's no way he's just like this with her?

SPEAKER_01 56:31

Yeah. No. And there's no way this man doesn't have his own hobbies that he can do, no problem.

SPEAKER_02 56:35

Yeah, I'm going, I'm going villain. Villain? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:37

Okay. Am I the asshole for telling my wife she can't have it both ways? This is husband's perspective. We've been married for nine years. We're in our 30s and have two kids. For the most part, I think our relationship is great. We don't really struggle with jealousy or insecurity or the like, usually, until recently. I know this makes me sound horrible, but I never really got along with one of her friend groups. These are some of her work friends she started hanging out with about a year ago. Nothing really against them, just didn't really think it was my crowd. It's two married guys and two women who are divorced, one recently so. And the few times that I came along with my wife to their hangouts, it was mostly work talk. I didn't find particularly interesting. So usually I just stay home and care for the kids to save money on the sitter and let my wife go. But I was clear with my wife that I just didn't really enjoy that particular group, and while I encouraged her to go out and socialize, I just didn't want to come. She was fine at first, but then the group started pressuring her into bringing me as the guys started bringing their wives around, and one of the gals found a partner, so she was feeling awkward coming without me. We argued for a bit, but after a few times she said it was important to her that I come, so I agreed. Well, to my surprise, it turned out I get on really well with one of the guys' wives. We just hit it off immediately because we're a very similar type of geeks, so we just talk about TV or movies or anime while the others did their thing. I thought I cracked the code because now, whenever spouses were invited to the hangouts, I could show up and have a good time, and I thought I'd make my wife happy. It did not. Instead of her being happy that I'm coming, she's now acting jealous and saying that it's weird how close I'm getting to that woman. I told her it's not weird, she's just the one person I get along with well in that group outside of herself. My wife asked if I would make more of an effort to not just interact with her, and I said no. I again said that the choice was hers, she could invite me to the hangouts or not invite me, and I would respect it. Moreover, I'm not usually close to that woman. I don't have her number, we aren't connected on socials, I genuinely have no contact with her outside of the group. But if my wife is going to insist I come to these things, I'm not going to force myself into having a worse time. My wife said I'm an asshole for not putting her needs and wants first, but I told her that's selfish to claim because she's basically telling me to put her myself last regularly so she can both get to these hangouts, but also discourage me from enjoying myself when I do come. It seems controlling and petty. So I just again said she can decide if she wants me there or not, but she does not get to dictate how I behave. So am I the asshole?

SPEAKER_05 58:51

No.

SPEAKER_01 58:52

No update.

SPEAKER_05 58:53

Ooh, oh.

SPEAKER_01 58:54

Hey everyone, thanks for all the replies. I had a talk with my wife about what was different about this group compared to others, and after we considered it for a while, it came down to two things. First, I suppose I should mention for context that my wife and her friends are all MDs or PhDs and teach at a university where my wife started teaching after getting her own master's degree in public health. She was already an MD. Shop talk in this context means a lot, and I do mean a lot of very funny stories about how their stupid grad student left cell cultures at the wrong temperature or some such or how bad the doctor is getting their board certifications are this year. I tried. I genuinely did not take interest, but I can't. Not for long. I genuinely cannot participate in these conversations in a meaningful way. Fair. Yeah. And whenever I tried talking to some of these people about other stuff, it just didn't click. I see the lack of interest, then they are sort of drift back to their own conversation. That's why I didn't feel like I should come from pretty early on. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_05 59:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:44

So with that in mind, we discussed why she felt it was important that I come despite them clearly not actually enjoying my company and me not enjoying theirs. So it turned out one of those friends jokingly said she thought my wife married down. Ooh. Because I only have my bachelor's degree and never even considered doing anything more. While my wife basically excels at everything she tries, and I'm very proud of her. And this made her feel insecure because she was embarrassed by me talking about immature stuff around her highly educated, well-read friends.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:09

Then why does she need him to come?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:11

Yep. Yeah. I told my wife I think her friends sound bitter, and I don't have to prove my worth to her. To be clear, I own my own business, it's doing well, and it allowed me to support my wife through school, many, many years of school, and make my own hours while she worked ridiculous hospital hours while at the same time working on her thesis, so that I could take care of our kids and home, which I mostly paid for because for most of our life together I was making much more than her. I do now as well, but by a far smaller margin. Also, we cleared up that outside that joke, it wasn't really a prevalent issue, but it was made worse by the guy's joke about me and his wife hanging out being a playdate. So having discussed this, it does seem to be mostly stemming from some insecurities on my wife's part. Conversation was a bit tense, but I still maintained that I'm willing to go to the hangouts with her if she wants, but I still refuse to be something I'm not or be made to feel inadequate for what I am or try to prove my maturity to her friends. I'm a good husband, a good father, I'm happy with the life I have, and I thought she was as well. Which she reassured me she was. So with that in mind, we decided that we'll decide on future attendance on a case-by-case basis, but obviously there's no easy solution to her feelings insecure. So that's something we still need to work on. At least I know she didn't think I was being unfaithful, which is reassuring. That's yeah. So is he the asshole? No, no.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:21

No, I'd say she's being really unreasonable, like forcing him to come to these things.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:25

And I think she's being an asshole, making him feel like he's not adequate enough.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:29

Yeah, because she's listening to these other people.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:30

Yeah, yeah. But also making him feel bad for not coming. But then when he does come and connects with one person, yeah, she's now got a problem with that person. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:40

Yeah. Anyone but that.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:42

Yeah. Okay. So is he redeemable? I don't think he has anything to redeem. Yeah. Which fictional man would never? They'd all do it. Yeah. Yeah, they would. They all have female friends in the books, too. Biggest red flag, I didn't see one.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:54

The coworkers are probably your biggest red flags here.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:56

But from him, no. Was he the actual asshole? Nope. No. Nope. Not at all. Right, the husband? Golden. I was gonna say golden. Golden retriever. Golden retriever. Perfect.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:06

Could a book boyfriend survive real life?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:09

These are gonna be yes or no answers. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:11

Let's take some mundane situations and debate whether or not they would survive. Costco on a Saturday. No. I think yes. You do. Yeah. Survive war. Yeah, chaos. That's true. Chaos. That's true.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:23

Large groups of people fighting one another. You're right. Touch and her touch her and die. Like that's true.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:28

I could see him like literally moving people out of the way. Stand corrected. Yeah. Fair.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:33

IKEA furniture assembly. Ooh. Probably. That one's a little bit harder. Probably not. Road trip stress. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:39

They can handle war, yeah. Yeah. And long distances on their horses. Correct. Or dragons. Or dragons. Yeah. So if you're a big thing, or all they have to do is sit in the car. Crying baby at 3 a.m.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:51

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:52

Really? I don't think so. Do you think? I honestly think that maybe that's part of it is that the book where your friends seem to be built for stress. Yeah. They are so used to dealing with these high stress situations. They're probably any high stress situation they'd probably do really well in. That's true. It's the non-stressful situations that they would be struggling with. That would be like choosing where to eat. Yeah. They always they're always soft for their people, their women, their family. You know what I mean? So I could see them being, I could see them being okay with their crying baby at three. Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:23

Yeah. Taking cute, candid photos, absolutely not. They wouldn't smile for anyone else but her.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:27

Period mood swings. I think they do well.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:29

Yep. Yep. Yeah. Here, babe. I have this hot water bottle that I heated over the fire. Sharking board. Yeah. Of your favorite things. Yeah. I went out and hunting hunted and gathered it myself. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:42

Waiting while she picks outfits.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:44

Yeah. Yep. No. Really? I don't think so.

unknown 1:03:46

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:47

They're always waiting while she puts on your fighting leathers.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:49

Pick a dress.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:51

No, they always pick out the dress for them, actually. Sometimes, yeah. Maybe that's why they know that. But yeah, they're like, do it, just wear this. Just wear this.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:58

Pick this out for you. There you go. Holiday shopping crowds, I'd say yes. Kind of. For the same reason as Costco. Yeah. Yeah. A toddler tantrum.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:06

Ooh. If it was their toddler, maybe. Maybe. I don't think anyone can handle a toddler tantrum. Someone else can't.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:11

I don't think everyone kind of all spoiler for Akhtar. Reezand had a kid, so he's gonna have to figure that out. They'll have to figure it out.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:19

But can they survive it?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:20

Yeah, that is the real question.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:22

Maybe not. Lightning round. Quick rapid fire questions. Most unrealistic thing about book boyfriends. Their penis size. No! That yes! That's it. That is the one. Which MMC would be the worst texter? All of them. All of them. Because texting is not their thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:41

Actually, I can see Reese Sam being a good texter. Yeah. Josh is a good texter. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:45

Communication. So which fictional man definitely has anger management issues. Stark. Anyone written by Carrie Lake? Yes.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:52

That's also when you get further into the Stark as well. Well, you can kind of feel it already at where I Well the Wolves are very uh temperamental and prone to rage.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:03

And they feed off of which book boyfriend would absolutely get canceled online. Carrie Lake's people. Yeah. For sure. Correct. Or mess up. They get canceled by me in my head. I like them, but yeah. But they would definitely get canceled online. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Raped through the coals. Yep. Green flag trait you wish more real men had.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:21

The toucher and die.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:22

What? Did you say balls? Yeah. Toucher and die for sure. Toucher and die. And balls. But like the balls. You know what I mean? Yeah. Not just like balls. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:35

Like growing stuff. Like gumption. Yeah, the balls. Yeah. The balls to stand up to people on behalf of their wife.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:43

Yes. The most real husband thing your partner does, everything. Yeah. He does every anything you can think of that a real husband would do, mine does it. Can't find the ketchup in the fridge, but can spot a deer in a field while driving 80 miles an hour down the road. Yes. Those types of things, you know?

SPEAKER_05 1:06:01

Yeah. I think all of our husbands have their own unique quirks. And yet, and yet all the same fall points.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:08

Yeah. Yes. So fictional men are fantasy for a reason. They're our fantasy. Yes. Real relationships are less dramatic but more meaningful. Sometimes more dramatic. Less less life dramatic, more emotion dramatic. Yes. Yeah. And sometimes love is picking up your favorite snack, filling your gas tank, bringing you medicine, and listening to your book rants. Or filming your wife for a book talk.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:38

Yes. Yes. Which is not so dramatic, but still meaningful in their own way.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:44

Exactly. Now, how would you guys feel if your husband growled at you saying who did this to you? Oh, if my husband did it, I'd be like. If Zach growled at me saying who did this to you, I'd be like, You. You did this to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:00

You did this to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:01

Why are you upset?

SPEAKER_05 1:07:02

Because of you.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:03

You've been grumpy all day. Yeah. He'd lose me at growling at me. I would just burst out. I was just gonna say I would burst out laughing.

unknown 1:07:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:11

But yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:12

I was like the voice actors who do like they will read the book line and then they like they try to emulate that where it's like he purred, he growled. Hilarious. Yes. Some of them have the voice for it. And you're just like, Yeah, but if Aris did it, we'd be like. So you as an audience, who do you think of your fictional men would not survive in real life? Let us know in the comments. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:37

Now it's time for Lions We Loved.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:42

Yay.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:43

So I did This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me, Ilona Andrews, uh, page 288. And then I was abducted, stabbed, tortured, and killed. I died, came back to life, and to face my killer in the most literal sense of the word. I was rescued and bathed, and then I was carried gently by the sleepless duke who sat by my bedside all night and was probably nursing a raging backache. Zero out of ten stars would not recommend.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:07

That book. Mine's from Spectacular by Stephanie Gerber, page 125. Kiss me and I'll untie you. Untie me and then I'll kiss you. Done. He tore the rope off her wrists, then he took her mouth captive with his. He kissed her the way he'd kidnapped her, wickedly and possessively, as if he had no intention of ever letting her go. And in that delirious moment, she didn't want him to release her. She wanted to stay his captive forever, as long as this was the method he chose to torture her.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:36

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:36

I like that. Yeah. I'm just gonna keep reading quotes from this book in hopes that I'll convince you guys to read it sooner than later.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:43

Hunted by the demons valley.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:44

Correct. Yep. By AN Coddle. Page 329. You're the storm in my blood, the wound I'll never heal from. You're the chaos I crave, and the one I want to sit with in the darkness I reign. I don't want you just for one night. I want you until there's nothing left of you. I want you until I'm nothing but ash in your hands after burning in the hells I'm destined for. And even then, I'm taking you with me because nothing will keep me from you any longer. You're bound to me even in my ruin, and you're fucking delusional if you think I'll let it be anything else.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:11

You had like a semi-accent there for a couple of those. I was like, is she gonna do a Scottish accent? Is this coming out? No.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:18

That very much game gave Jamie Fraser. Did it just, yeah. It might might have been the mimosa. My my Scottish accent was just like there's a couple times it was like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:30

So good. Very good. It's good. It's on my I have it downloaded. The yearn. Never thought that she'd be reading a double book, but yeah. Or me. Me?

SPEAKER_05 1:09:41

What are we doing? Kingdom of the Wicked. Yeah, Kingdom of the Wicked. Okay, that's true. Yeah. I started this train. You just hopped on.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:49

I'm finishing it right now. Get on it, guys.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:51

That's all we have for you guys. That's it. Okay, that's it. That's all she wrote. You can find us on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube at Glotwist Please Pod. We're also anywhere you can get your podcast. So make sure you're following or subscribed so you never miss an episode. If you love this one, hype us up a little. Leave us a comment, drop a rating or review, and tell us what you would like us to read next.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:09

Thank you so much for joining us on this episode.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:12

And as always, keep your glass, your bookshelf, and your TBR full. Cheers. Cheers.