Solo Dates and Social Anxiety

On this episode of Mildly Thriving, Meredith puts herself to the test with a solo date in Seattle…and let’s just say it’s a journey. From nervously riding scooters through downtown like she’s in a coming-of-age film (but more awkward), to fully convincing herself that everyone is watching her exist in public, Meredith shares every high, low, and socially awkward thought along the way. Meanwhile, Kimberly is along for the ride, asking the important questions like whether anyone actually cares what we’re doing (spoiler: they don’t, but try telling that to your brain). Between the anxiety spirals and small wins, this episode dives into why solo time can feel so uncomfortable…and why it might be exactly what we need. Because as it turns out, spending time alone doesn’t have to be scary… it can actually be kind of freeing. So if you’ve ever avoided doing something just because you’d have to do it alone, this one’s for you. Consider it your sign to take yourself on a date…awkward moments and all.

Insta: @MildlyThrivingPod

Original audio by Patrck Joseph (Thanks Patrick)

Insert legal disclaimer and jargon here... but like... don't steal our shit?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Mildly Thriving. I'm Kimberly and I'm Merrick. We're two average millennials who aren't failing but aren't always thriving either. And we're out to prove that Mildly Thriving is thriving enough. Please make sure you're subscribed and following us on the social medias. And if you're feeling really nice, you could give us a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts. Now let's dive into this week's episode. Hi, Meredith. Hi, Kimberly. Um, I do want to be upfront and honest with you. Oh, wow. Coming out the gate hot. Okay. Wow. Are you mad at me? No. Um, I did eat half a gummy um like just now. So we gotta Oh, damn it. You have 30 minutes. I'm so excited for you and so jealous right now. Fuck. Okay, no, I want to drag this out so I can see Hi Kimberly answer my uh questions or your comments on my questions about coagulated milk. Yeah. Those are the cheese. Nope, it was milk. This time you had it right the first time. Should I eat the whole thing? Um, yes.

unknown 1:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

I want more. I want more voice notes about coagulated milk or something about the universe. Are you sure you're not already feeling it? Oh, this is my third gummy today. Can you imagine? I'd be catatonic on the couch, or I'd be having a panic attack. There is a fine line between like, yeah, this is perfect, and oh my god, the world is ending and I'm gonna die. Ugh. Jealous. Okay. Okay. Well, do we wanna play catch up? What did you do this weekend? I didn't see you at all. I watched a lot of The Pit. Oh, okay. I did hear that. Um Josh and I went to Sir La Tab that and we bought ourselves some nice pots and pans. Oh, okay. I was like, is that a sex store? I don't know. I was like, thank you for being open and honest with us. But uh I bought the anal intruder 3000. We had a lot of fun. The anal intruder 3000. Look, tell okay, tell me your white trash without telling me your white trash. I don't, I never heard of that. Um, okay. The the fanciest cookware I know is the the La Crew, I don't know how to say it. La croissant. Yep, yep. Croissant. Sure. La Croissant. I have some little like little itty bitty, what are they called? Ramekins from them that are really nice, but I don't own anything else like that. So, anyways, yeah, I don't have any of their stuff because I'm from a trailer park in Idaho, so shut the fuck up. You just told me you bought fancy cookware that I've never heard of. Um, it's just it's a store, Sir Latab. Or it looks like Sir La Table, but Josh and I've seen that that it's actually Sir La Tab, and so I'm just gonna go with him because he used to work, he like he did some business deals with them, and so in theory he knows. So if he's just making me look like a douchebag on the internet, then he's definitely more cultured than us, so I would I would believe it. He's very worldly. He is uh okay. Well that sounds fancy. I'm glad you got new cookware. And then we went and um we went to there's like a sauna cold plunge thing. Okay. So we went to Dozone and had dinner, and then we went and did like the sauna and cold plunge, and I was able to be in the cold plunge for 25 seconds. Wow, that for the record that's impressive because I wouldn't want to be in it for any seconds. Yeah. No, thank you. I'm so jealous of Dozone. I love dim sum. I love dim sum so much. Yeah, it was it was pretty tasty. And then they have these things, I think they're called Dan Dan noodles, and those are pretty legit, and they like make your mouth numb and you're just like, this is the greatest feeling ever. Oh my god. It's actually not, but you know, they taste so good. Wait, did you eat something spicy? Yeah. Are you feeling okay? Did you have immediate diarrhea? Like, no, it just like burned my mouth. But it like makes your mouth numb. Oh, I've never heard of this other than spicy food. But uh, for those of you that don't know, Kimberly doesn't eat too much pepper on her food. She's that spice averse. So and no judgment, it's fine. You grew up in Idaho, I get it. Uh you're making the saddest face right now. I know. I wish I could eat spicy food because I feel like there's this whole class of food that I'm just like missing out on, and people are like, I fucking love it. And Tabasco is Tabasco sauce spicy? It is. I mean, in my opinion. It's I wouldn't know. I've never tasted it. Well, um I don't know, gives and takes. I love spicy food going in. Come in, come back out. It's a little hot. Yeah. And with IBS, like there's no telling what's gonna happen. Some days it's like, you know what, that wasn't too bad. And some days it's like you everybody else will be leaving the bathroom for the next 48 hours. So yeah. Mass evacuation. Let's go. Uh, but you know what? I continue to risk it, and this is how you get diarrhea on a plane. So thanks for continuing to listen to my stories. Thanks for coming to our podcast. Yeah. Diarrhea. That's all we talk about. At least you at least we're consistent about something. Yeah. Uh okay. Cold plunge. How was your weekend? Oh, oh, thank you for asking. I do that. Oh, wait. Oh, yeah, nobody ever got back to us about our vine references, so nobody gets $20. Wow, glad that people are listening and engaging. You bucks. I'm I'm not hurt at all. Uh I went to some bookstores and to lunch with a friend on Saturday and went to like a sandwich place down the road. Well, it is super fucking good. Uh I they're known for their lobster rolls, which I realize was risky, but dove right now. You ate a lobster roll after dove right happened back in. I told you I will continue to make these mistakes. It actually didn't uh upset me like the last one, but that's because it wasn't like unrefrigerated for 12 hours. So, you know, I'm really happy for you. I'm glad that it didn't kill you. Had the best lobster roll, really good clam chowder, and uh got some books because I'm finishing them left and right. And uh oh, go, go, go. A Kindle, I've had it since like 2011 or 2012, and I just got an email from Amazon and they're like, we're like discontinuing, like we're not gonna support your Kindle anymore. And I'm like Is it the fire? No. Oh, I have like the OG Kindle. I wonder if it won't work anymore. Yeah, mine well, no, I think it's just like a regular, like the cheapest Kindle that you can get with ads. Like it won't even support ads anymore. It's so old. And so I'm like, oh my god, like what am I gonna? I and I had just gotten back into like using it. I go through phases and I'm like, what am I gonna what am I gonna do? Am I just gonna like read on my tablet on my iPad? Wow, first world problems for real. I I know. Actually, I haven't used my Kindle in forever. I have been reading physical books or listening to the audiobooks on Spotify. But I did uh I did just uh sign up for a uh library card, which I will get to in a minute with the rest of my weekend plans. Uh it kind of uh leads into today's topic. Um on Sunday, I took myself on a solo date to Seattle. Oh and uh today we're gonna talk about solo dates. Okay, tell me tell me about solo dates. Um, well, if you're like me and you get nervous in public by yourself for no reason, I think it's a good uh a good reminder to or it's a good soft way to step out of your comfort zone. Like it's a very mild step out of the comfort zone. Okay. We like mild here. Yeah, it's my favorite word. Um and your favorite word too for food, you know? I'm sorry. Okay, so I have so what started this is I was on social media, which I shouldn't be, and uh I get a lot of like food influencers from Seattle and like the Seattle food scene, and I keep seeing like some of the same stuff because I I like it, and so the algorithm's like, we're gonna show you more. And I kept seeing this restaurant pop up and I had it on my list of things to do. My elbow. Okay. Um wow, sounded like fart, and then a zipper. Uh so I had it on my list of things to do when Boat Guy comes to visit, but I've had it on the list for a while. We always get caught up doing like Tacoma stuff, and uh we don't always get a lot of time in Seattle, so I was like, you know what, fuck it. Uh this is the first weekend in a long time that I haven't had like a bunch of plans. I don't like my apartment's clean, I don't have a lot of projects. I'm just gonna take myself to do something fun. Good for you. I love that. Thank you. Uh so I made a reservation at the restaurant, and then I got like I follow a page called Secret Seattle, and they posted an article about like free things to do in Seattle, and I was like, oh, that's great. And so I made like a list of things that were free that I could do. And so I came up with an itinerary, and I I did like four out of the five things that I wrote down, and I was very proud of myself. Um, so I'm gonna tell you about my my solo date, and then I'll go into like reasons why I think this is good, and people should do it more often. Okay, tell me. I want to hear all about your date. Tell me. Tell me. Okay, so uh There I was barbecue sauce on my titties. It never gets old. That's my favorite one. Me too. I love that one. Love it. I haven't said it in a while. It just it just came to me. Me neither.

unknown 11:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Okay, what was I saying? I don't know. Talk about your solo date, what you did this weekend before you were rudely interrupted by this other bitch with a microphone. Other bitch with a microphone. Okay. I got up early, I went to hot yoga. Oh, okay. Came home, showered, left for Seattle. Um, so I sent you something on Instagram today about my art piece. Oh, yes. So one of the things my first stop was it's the free little art gallery on First Avenue up in the Queen Anne neighborhood. And I don't remember if I've talked about it on here before or not, but they have it's like the free little libraries that they have um in that people put up in neighborhoods to exchange books, but for art. And uh I read about it in an article when I first moved here, and I was like, oh my gosh, I want to do that so badly. So when Boat Guy came to visit for the first time, I was like, maybe this is Dorky, but uh nobody's done this with me yet, and I was hoping that you would be down to do it. So we like made a whole thing out of it. He like gave me a funny suggestion for what to paint, like just joking around. Um, and he suggested a giraffe with braces. And so I painted a little mini portrait of the giraffe with braces, and I took it up there and left it in the art library. So, like we talked about last episode, I have been trying to paint once a month just to like be creative and be more consistent about it. And so the painting that I painted last month was the little peaches painting that I'm peaches, super cute. Thank you. And I love it. And I'm a little mad that you just like put it in a free library or free art gallery, and I didn't get it, but it's fine. Like I'm not I'm not like I'm not mad. I'm just like I told you I'd paint you the mildly thriving plant, which I will. Um that's gonna be this I can't wait. That is this month's product. I can't wait. I literally cannot wait. Oh my god. Okay, I will do it. I will do it soon. Uh when I get you could put that in the free library and promote us and like write our podcast. Okay, I'll make two. Okay, great. My god. I love this. I love stone Kimberly, it's my favorite. And this is you're I think you're mentally anticipating it. I can sense a difference. I'm just really jazzed about this topic. Yeah, whatever. You don't have to pump rainbows into my ass. But I got the anal and turner 3000. I'm ready. There is there's a setting for like pumping rainbows in somebody's ass. No, okay. Send me the link later. Uh I'm gonna need this. Okay. God damn it, what was I saying? Oh, okay. I painted the peaches, uh, took the peaches to the library, and I was all excited. This time I tagged, like, I wrote my Instagram handle on the back of the piece and was like, uh, I just said, like, enjoy, like, and then put my Instagram handle. And the lady that uh runs the little library tagged me in it and for like this week's art, and uh I was like so excited, so I felt super cool. And so that was my that was my first stop. Uh second stop was uh a park that I'm failing to remember the name of that's super close by, that's just got a really pretty lookout point. Carey Park. Yes, you you good local. I aunt used to live right there. Oh my god, lucky it's so nice over there. Like millionaire. If I was a millionaire, I would definitely have a house up there somewhere. I fucking love Seattle. Okay, beautiful view of the city, as I assume you know. It's like you overlook the water and you have a perfect view of like the skyline, the space needle. Oh, so nice. And so hung out there for a minute. Um, and then went to the Seattle Central Library. Uh, so the public one of the public libraries in Seattle. The one that's in downtown. Yes, on Fourth Avenue. Okay. So if you've never been, highly recommend uh beautiful architecture. Just the building itself is beautiful. Doesn't the building go like it's like this? It yes, it's very angular and has like a lot of like geometric designs in the windows. Um, I can share a photo to the Insta the Instagrams if we want, but uh there's like it's like 10 stories, there's old um maps of the city, there's um little like free poetry dispensers throughout the building. There's a red floor, so it like you Do you say a red floor? Yeah, so it's kind like I know it sounds weird, but like on it doesn't advertise it, but one of the floors is like a meeting space and it's just for like a bunch of different meeting rooms. And when you get off the elevator, which is actually like neon yellow on the inside, it opens up and it's everything's red. The walls, ceiling, floor, like everything is just red. And there's this like the red room in Fifty Shades of Gray. Was that in Fifty Shades of Grey? It was in Fifty Shades of Grey. Okay, see? Yes, but um a lot, a lot less suspension devices. Um so arguably a lot less fun, but whatever. Uh there's there's like cool, like uh frosted glass windows with like designs in them. Um it's just like a a fun little quirk about the building, but there's a lot of like little areas like that. So um if you want a free activity and just want to spend the day looking at an amazing library, that's the way to go. I did sign up for a library card because I have been trying to save money and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna start fucking renting uh books from the library instead of buying new books. And so I have a Tacoma library card and a Seattle library card now. Wow. So I did that, and then I left the library and got on one of the little Lyme electric scooters, and I trotted my way down to Pike Place, and I walked through Post Alley, uh, saw the gum wall, um, you know, for the 90th time. It was busy as always. It was a Sunday. Uh, but you know, still fun to see. Uh, and then walked through Pike Place. It was I was maybe gonna get some food, and then it was like shoulder to shoulder packed, and I should have known better, so I kind of made it a quick trip, but I picked myself up some beautiful daffodils from like a florist there. If you've never been to Pike Place Market, one of the best things about it is the beautiful bouquets of flowers that uh they sell. It's just they're insane and they're really reasonably priced. They're like I don't know back. Oh shit. I was gonna say back in the day they were like 10 bucks and shockingly big and you know. This one was small. I got the baby one because I'm gonna be like out of town this weekend. I was like, well, I'm only gonna get to enjoy them for a few days. But uh so it's like between 10 and 30 bucks. Yeah, which is not bad, and they last a long time. Whereas if you ordered those from a florist, they'd be like 70. 100 bucks, yeah. Yeah. So totally worth it. Um, after I went through Pike Place, I walked back up to the library because that's where my car was parked. Um, they have very reasonable, pri like reasonably priced public parking and in a garage, so it makes me feel a little bit better about where I was. Oh, nice, but yeah, I I only it only cost me four bucks. Um and then after that, I went to my restaurant and I uh so this restaurant is called Barrel and Bacon. Highly recommend. Uh, I sat at the bar by myself and I got a mocktail, which was so good, one of the best drinks I've ever had. Um I think it was the owner that was behind the bar. The way he was talking kind of made it feel like it, but he talked to me a little bit. Um, he's like, I can put alcohol in it. And I was like, I would love that on a day that I'm not by myself and driving 45 minutes back home. Yeah. He's like, Oh my gosh, you like, where did you come from? And I told him, and he was like, Mars. He was like, Thank you so much for supporting us. I was like, thanks for making good food. Uh, but they're known for their Ube French toast, which is apparently featured in some sort of Netflix show. Um, I can also share a picture. I I took it to go, so I it's not the sexiest picture, but um Oh, you didn't eat there? Uh I did eat there. My stomach was still bothering me a little bit, so I didn't want to risk it with the insane amount of sugar I knew I was about to inhale, and I hadn't had any real food for the day, so I had one mocktail and a very basic breakfast of uh toast hash browns and eggs, and that seemed to be mild enough for my stomach. But I took the French toast home and ate it in small increments so I didn't destroy my stomach, and it was so fucking good. I will definitely be back. Plus great atmosphere, really friendly staff, and I mean it was nice to just like chit-chat with the bartender and not feel weird about being by myself. I love it. Thank you. That was great. I'm proud of you. I'm so glad that you just went and you were like, you know what, I want to do these things. I'm not gonna wait around for anyone else. I'm just gonna go do it. And I thought about asking people, and I know that if I had asked certain people that people would have considered it, but I kind of wanted to do it by myself, and I'll explain why, because they're like seems like a really nice, fun day, but I'll explain the uh inner workings of my psyche here in a moment and where I have trouble with certain things. So uh like again, my stomach's been bothering me uh a lot, and so I've So you were afraid you're gonna shit your pants in the car and you didn't wanted to be alone for that? That is a great uh conclusion to jump to, however, wrong this time, just this time. Um I was really worried about like putting anything in my stomach at the time. So I I was like drinking water. I like barely choked down a Greek, a plain Greek yogurt, just trying to like mellow it out. I know. And I was no caffeine, no coffee, no nothing. I didn't like, and I didn't take my medicine because I didn't want to take a stimulant on an empty stomach and that be like the thing. So I definitely think I wasn't at 100%, and I probably would have done more or something. Stayed longer at certain places if I had been a little more confident. But this is something that I struggle with and I'm trying to be better about is just like not caring what people think about me. Like I overanalyze all of these situations, even like dropping the art off at the library. I'm like, oh, is anybody watching me? Is anybody judging me right now? Like I like put the art in there, took a picture, left. Going to Carrie Park, like there's a bunch of people there in like groups of friends, and I immediately felt self-conscious about being by myself. And so I just like, and I didn't want to just like look on my phone and look like distracted. I genuinely wanted to sit there and enjoy the view, but I just felt weird. I was like, are these people judging me for just sitting here and doing nothing? And I thought about reading my book, and then I was like, are people gonna think I'm weird? So I left. I stayed for like 10 minutes and I got like a couple of nice pictures, which I was proud of myself for like stopping and getting out of the car because I'm sure you know parking up there is a nightmare. So that in and of itself, I I I could have just been like, fuck this shit, but I didn't. But I still like I was a little down on myself for not staying very long and for caring that uh nobody probably noticed that I was there, but I was still worried. But you did it. I did. You still went out of your comfort zone, and maybe that increment, you know, next time you do something, maybe it's 15 minutes.

unknown 23:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

You know, of like like you still did the thing.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

And but you're still but you're telling yourself that it's not like good enough. I know. I but like I just wanted to like explain what I did and then go back to like what I'm actually thinking internally the whole time. And I know it's not just me. I know I'm not crazy, but like Absolutely not. I just want to, I do want to overcome those feelings with time. Or I know it's never gonna be perfect, but I want to be able to tell myself that you're gonna be uncomfortable, but it's okay. Like, it's good for you. And so I I am proud of myself for doing it at all because they're like, especially since I wasn't feeling good and I didn't take my medicine, I 100% thought about not going. But I was like, nope, you made a reservation, you made a commitment, and even if you don't, like if you start not feeling like really good, you can go home. Just it'll be fine. Um you're not gonna power through shitting your pants at the restaurant bar. No, like it is okay. There are reasons to be like, uh, it's time for me to tap out. Uh, but no, I so also getting to the library, like I felt weird wandering around the library by myself. And there were like, it's so dumb. There were people there like specifically taking pictures. There was a couple of girls in the red floor, like on the steps taking like intentional photos, and they look so cute. And uh, I was walking around by myself taking pictures, and I was still like, people are judging me, people are judging me, they think I'm stupid. And so I probably I could have spent a lot longer at the library, and but it's fine. Same with the scooter. I first of all, I'm really proud of myself for renting the scooter by myself. I know that sounds like a really dumb thing, but like the idea of figuring something like that out while the public is watching is so it's a nightmare to me. And so I was like, Meredith, you've rented one before it's been a while, but like I have the app, I know how it works. I was like, just fucking do it. Um, so I did, and I did get nervous, like there's certain areas that you're not supposed to ride it, and because you're not supposed to be on the sidewalk necessarily, like right. And but like being in the road when there's not the little like scooter bike lane is all like is also dangerous. And so yeah, I was like, I found it easier to ride with other people when everyone's breaking the rules and being on the sidewalk, and it's not just me. And so I was like, oh, there's no scooter lanes where I'm at. But I was like, fuck it, I already did it, I'm already on it, I'm going. Just watch out for people. So I rode on the sidewalk for a little while, and then I actually caught up to a dude on a scooter by himself who was also on the sidewalk, and I was like, you know what? He's doing it, I'm gonna fucking follow him. Like, we're best friends now. I was like, we're going the same direction. I swear I'm not actually following you. But um Did you talk to him and say that?

unknown 26:36

No.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

Oh, because he was totally unaware because men get to be unaware in public. Yes. Also, I think he had headphones in, but that's neither here nor there, which is dangerous in and of itself.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Um I wanted to ride the scooter a lot closer, but I did panic at like the as like You wanted to ride it closer? Like closer to Pike Place. Oh, gotcha. Oh, okay. No, yeah, not closer to him. But I I got close enough and was just like, I don't see, I was like, the sidewalks are kind of crowded. I don't see uh scooter lane coming up. I was like, I'm just gonna get off here. I know I'm close. So you were being kind and courteous. Yeah. Yeah, that was definitely my main reason. Um, which is most of the reason I walked through like post alley, but because I don't know if you remember, but that hill is steep. I was huffing and puffing by the time I got to the top. But I was like, you know what? More exercise. This isn't bad. Uh, and I was planning on taking the scooter back to the library, but I had the flowers and I was like, I don't want to figure this out. And it's all like the steep uphill on the way back, and I was like, nah. So I like looked how far the walk is. I was like, oh, it's 12 minutes. I think I can manage walking 12 minutes. Uh and then that like again wanted to stay longer at Pike Place and probably could have overcome my annoyance of being cram-packed like a sardine in a crowd. But I don't know. I it's right there. You can go again. Yes. I had made it through a lot and was just like, fuck it. I'm I'm gonna go. Uh, I did tell my coworkers before I was doing this that my goal for the day was actually just to talk to a stranger. And uh I don't know if it counts if strangers talked to me and I didn't talk to them. I don't think it does. Uh yeah. So I did talk, like someone complimented me on my flowers and I told them thank you, and I was like, I'm gonna count that. But I did talk to the employees at the restaurant, and I did initially conversation. Oh, okay. Yes, like it was it wasn't like I need this, it was like we were having a social conversation about like life and shit. That counts. That has to count. Okay. If it doesn't, then I will do better. I would like to give you half a point for that. Okay, that's fair. It wasn't like, hey, can you give me a box? It was like, uh, I don't remember. Did you hear about my anal intruder? Hey, it pumps rainbows. What's your favorite setting on the anal intruder? Oh my god, can you imagine? Uh no, you uh never mind. Um, it wasn't about anal anything. Um, okay. Wow, what a boring conversation then. I know, right? Uh anyways, the point I was trying to make was I think that doing solo activities is good not just to put yourself uh like push yourself out of your comfort zone, but also like giving you the confidence to like be independent and make decisions on your own. Um and uh a big one for me is like younger me for sure, really kind of like lost myself in certain relationships. Um, not only romantic relationships, but friendships. Like instead of finding my own identity, I would give up things that I I cared about or that uh were important to me because I wanted to be the person that this person wanted me to be, or I just wanted to do what I can to fit in. And so I tried to like mask basically and just like be as as close to this other person as I could. And I think knowing that you can hang out with yourself and and like make independent decisions of things that just you want to do is a good reminder of like you don't have to lose yourself in a relationship with someone else. You can bring your independent self's want like wants and needs into a relationship and those can still matter and someone can still like you. And they don't have to be involved in it. Exactly. You like it can be all your own. Like if they're not interested, like then why can't you, you know, feel like I don't go to libraries? Well, I do want to go. I won't see you next weekend then. Yeah. Exactly. That I I think that was a a big one for me, a big realization. And this might seem silly, but not having to consult anyone else for what you want to do. Like, I got to pick the entire day itinerary. I didn't have to have a conversation about what we're doing, I didn't have to compromise, and I could like leave whenever I wanted. I did whatever the fuck I wanted, and it was so nice. And I there was like no expectation of like saving money, spending a certain amount of money, like it I could take all day. It was it was really nice, and I was really proud of myself. That's amazing. I'm also proud of you. I haven't really done something like that before. But now I'm kind of like, oh, maybe I maybe I should. Maybe I should make some art for the library or the what is it called? Uh the it's like a free little art gallery, I think is what it's called. Gallery. That's the word I was looking for. Yes. You should. It doesn't have to be like a painting. You do draw a stick figure. Who cares? I'm I could be artistic. You can. Uh I this did make me think of uh early on in our episodes when you and I talked about going to concerts because you were like, oh, I can't believe you just buy tickets and you would go by yourself. Because I have like I have gone to things by myself. Like I've been to the movies by myself, I go out to restaurants by myself, and I think I made it sound like in that episode that like I'm super confident about that. I'm not. I the the going by myself scenario is not what I plan to do when it comes to those events. But I think it's like one step above not going. But only a small step. And there is that motivating factor of, well, I spent money on this, I'm fucking going. But that still terrifies the shit out of me. That is very much stepping outside my comfort zone. But I gotta keep trying. But I'm doing it. There are a lot of people that don't do it. Okay. They're like, oh, well, I couldn't find anyone to go do this thing with, and then they don't go. Thank you. I needed to hear that. I just I I'm certain that I'm not the only person that feels this way, but I just want so badly to get over the internal pain that I feel being out in public by myself and thinking that everyone is paying attention to me and everyone thinks that I'm weird for being by myself. Which sound to when I say it out loud, it sounds ridiculous, but that's like all I focus on sometimes. So did the does this apply to um like if you were in your neighborhood and you went to a coffee shop by yourself? Yes, absolutely. Okay, so it doesn't matter like that it was Seattle and you were like, oh, I look I'm a kind of being a tourist today. Um okay, so that's that's interesting. It doesn't matter anywhere. I d I like I hate being the center of attention. Or I hate being like, I don't know. I prefer to go unnoticed. And I think it's just be like I just don't I've why do I care what people think? I don't know. I don't know. I mean because it's a like it's ingrained in us to care what people think. I know. It keeps us in this in the community, it gets us not shunned. So I don't know how everyone else feels, but sometimes I worry that like my internal feeling of that is is a lot stronger than many people's. Like I need I need someone there with me to be my social buffer so I'm not concerned about being alone. I would literally never go to a concert by myself. I had never considered going on like a day date by myself or a night date. It was a day date. Any kind of date. But like, yeah. I forgot what I was gonna say. Okay. Is it kicking in? We're 36 minutes in. Oh well, lucky for you, that was all ahead. I really wanted to tell everyone about my day date and really just talk about doing outings by yourself and feeling really uncomfortable about it. So I yeah. No, I'm so proud of you for going. This is a thing I want to do. I could invite friends, but I'm just gonna do it and I'm gonna face my fear. And you did. So there are a lot of people who wouldn't do that. I'm probably in that camp, but now I'm like, Meredith did it, I can do it. So and also um, I've come to realize that people really aren't paying any attention to you, or you know, like the figurative you, not not just you. Yeah, no, I I know. Remember, I'm God. Oh yeah, I forgot. Yeah. I'm just gonna no, it's me, Meredith. Is this the crusty crab? No, this is Patrick. Never mind. Anyways. I never watched one. I know, but as soon as I started saying it, I was like, oh nope, this is not gonna be a Kimberly, a Kimberly reference. And that's okay. There are people out there that will understand, and that's all that matters to me. Yeah. Um, okay, anyway, I'm proud of you. I think it's cool that you did it, that you faced your fear. Even if it didn't go perfectly, you still did it and you had a good time. And do you feel more confident now? Yeah, I do. Even if it's just a smidge. No, I I genuinely do. And I think I keep telling myself, like, if I if I could still do it as well as I did on like what I would consider to be a an operating at 50% day, like then at 100% day, I'm fucking unstoppable. Are you kidding me? I can do it. Yes, you are. You're God, Meredith. Uh you're the leader of this cult. No, no. Oh, just kidding. Follow me. That's why everyone's staring at you. You're God. Oh man, man, somebody's gonna like turn me into their psychiatrist. Like this woman. She's got a complex. I promise I don't actually think this uh dude, I can't I can barely go in public by myself. I don't even want people looking at me. Clearly, I'm not God. But okay, so you don't want to be the leader of our cult. No. Why would I deprive you of the lifelong dream that you have? I told a friend that I wanted to start a cult, and she said you don't have the execution skills or the leadership skills. And I was like, Yeah, you're probably right. Wow. But off with her head. Is that an execution joke? That's good. That's good. Man. Feels like something the queen would say. Yes. But you said, like, I don't have the execution, and then you said off with her head. If that was an unintentional pun, that was hilarious. That was good. Oh my god. Man, we should bring stoned Kimberly on the podcast more often. I gotta start writing these things down. So but it is what it is. But that that's all I had. I that that's it. What what you got? Well, I'm gonna say one more time that I'm proud of you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I am proud of myself. I would love to hear anyone else's suggestions of solo dates that they've gone on, or if anyone else gets nervous in the same way that I get nervous, please tell me I am or am not crazy. I will accept all kinds of feedback. So I wonder if there's like um a trick that someone could say to you of like what to think about when you're in those situations of like, oh, are those people looking at me? Do they think I'm stupid? Because like, you know how I have a a way to flip when someone's driving like an asshole, and I say to myself, oh, they probably have diarrhea. Yes, they probably have to poop really bad and they're just trying to get home. Yeah, that's it. Like they just have to poop really bad. That means that they can drive like that. So then you kind of are chuckling and it's kind of flipped your flipped your Okay. Flip my script, sure. But yeah, uh try it next time. Yeah, if if anyone has suggestions, I would love to hear them. And thank you for listening to my day date. I I don't know how exciting this episode was of people just listening to my weekend activities, but I promise there there was a purpose, and I really just wanted to know if anyone else gets the same level of social anxiety that I do. I think that a lot of people do, myself included. I'm like, strangers, stranger danger. Don't look at me. Well, whoa, whoa. Well, is that it, boss? That that's all I got. I can't I gotta get these headphones off, and I need to go get a snack. Oh, it's kicking it. I know I need to make dinner. Okay, well, um, tell us what you think. Um, follow us on Instagram, Mildly Thriving Pod. Uh, give us reviews, uh, preferably good ones. But you know what? Like we said, we'll accept feedback either way. I may cry, but that's okay, not your problem. Um still give us five stars, but like you can be mean in the comments. I just won't read the comments because they're gonna make me cry anyway. Uh but yeah, uh, and just whenever you get social anxiety, remember that mildly thriving is thriving. Woo! Uh uh. We were on time. Uh, yes, finally. Uh uh No, we weren't. It was really bad. Fuck up. All right, are you gonna end this episode or do I have to stand here looking like a weird newscaster? All right, back to you, Kimberly. And on that note, Meredith, uh, have a great night.