A Taste of Armageddon (Star Trek TOS - S1E24)

In this episode of Treks and Tangents, we step into the world of A Taste of Armageddon where war is neat, tidy… and somehow even worse. When entire populations politely report for scheduled disintegration, Kirk decides maybe this whole “civilized war” thing needs a serious reboot.

We break down the logic of weaponized spreadsheets, question the efficiency of voluntary vaporization, and ask: is this the most organized apocalypse ever?

It’s Star Trek meets corporate policy… with a body count.

Transcript

Intro/Turbolift Tease Recap

SPEAKER_00 0:15

And I'm your co-host Jackie and the Star Trek movie who checks off on candy.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

And I'm your Star Trek expert who is here to get the candles back on track.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Each episode we watch and talk about a different Star Trek episode, and this week we watched Star Trek, the original series, season one, episode 23, A Taste of Armageddon.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Welcome back to our fun little podcast, everyone. Hello. And a happy belated birthday to Jackie. I'm so old now. By the time this comes out, your birthday will be three days ago? Yes. Still partying. Still partying. So happy belated birthday. Like it's 1999. But thank you all for coming back and listening to another episode. Thank you everyone who's been liking, subscribing, commenting on the episodes, liking the shorts that we put out on YouTube. It really helps us out with channel visibility and getting past all the algorithms all those platforms have. As a fun reminder, uh at the end of this episode, if you want to pop over to our Patreon, we'll continue our bonus episode where we dive into one more topic related to this week's episode, and we're also slowly catching up on our back catalog and getting a bonus episode recorded for each of our back catalog episodes. Right. There's cute little star notes. Star notes. Also, as a reminder, this coming Friday, when this comes out, is the fourth Friday of the month, so we'll have another episode over on our Patreon where we do a deeper dive into the animated series, the cartoon version of Star Trek, available to all of our crew members over at Patreon. That's a really weird tangent on its own, though. It is definitely turns into a stranger episode than I think we anticipate. So, but with that show business aside, let's just jump into the episode by revisiting our turboliftees. That's where we gave Jackie last week the title of this week's episode. And Jackie, with no other information, context, or knowledge of what today's episode was about, she tried to guess the plot. So, computer. What was Jackie's guess last week?

SPEAKER_01 2:39

Jackie's guess last week was, I immediately just thought of the movie Armageddon, so that would be interesting. But perhaps our Enterprise crew is going through the galaxy delivering supplies to some planet that has been attacked. But we don't know that, because they haven't been able to talk to anybody to let them know. They go deliver their supplies, and now we need to help these new friends rebuild their city.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

So, Jackie, how accurate do you think your guess was?

SPEAKER_00 3:06

I'm gonna say tangent is the word of the day, because I almost hit it, but not a bullseye.

Initial Impressions

SPEAKER_02 3:13

So definitely some tie-ins and themes to a planet under attack, having to help them rebuild. I'm gonna give you a C. I'll take that. Three out of five this week. They didn't know they were harming themselves. Pretty much. So what what were your initial impressions after watching this episode?

SPEAKER_00 3:38

See, I'm I was kind of blasé about it. I wish that I could have liked it more. The actor who is taking over Sulu's spot, he's because he's been gone for two episodes now. I've seen the actor before, but I don't know where. I'm like, I've seen those blue eyes and that gray hair. Yeah, you have. Um, but uh I wish it had would have had a more impact. Like this could have been much more impactful of a storyline, but it was just like vanilla ice cream.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

Okay, well, I'll burn one of our triple tidbits from the end of the episode just because yeah, you have seen that actor before. Uh that's DePaul, the character name. It's played by Sean Kenny, who played the disfigured Captain Pike from the Menagerie.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

I knew I'd seen him before. I was like, I've seen this dude.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

Yeah, so that'll actually got to talk and stuff. He did. I'm kind of in the same boat as you, as to just kind of mean meh to this episode. It's an interesting concept.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

A war waged completely by computer simulation.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Like that that game, move your uh little man to C3 or whatever. Chess? No, it's a boat game. Battleship.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Yes. Okay. I was like, I'll let you get there. But war simulated completely by a computer. So are we to Well, let me ask you this, because I don't know if it's it's answered in the in the episode completely to my satisfaction, and it's not going to be the topic of our Star Note this week, but who's running the computers? Because there's one on the first planet and one on the second planet.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Right. So it's like completely uh eny meeny miny mo uh role, you know, we spin the globe and we'll go there kind of thing. Right. Because Maya was really sad she had to die.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

Right. So are the high councils on the two planets actually planning these attacks and actually executing these attacks, or are they at the mercy of the computer? Is the computer completely simulating it? Like my point is in in the episode we witness the city center, let's pretend it's the capital of the planet, okay, being attacked and half a million people dying, right? Yes. And the enterprise is simul at the same time destroyed. Yes. Did the people on the other planet actually plan that attack and actually enter in that information to the computers to say we want to drop a fusion bomb over the capital of their planet and kill half a million people, and we want to take out this new starship that's orbiting their planet? Or do they not have any control over it? Is the computer literally just on autopilot running this war and they're following orders from the computer? The computer is just randomly picking targets and randomly assigning a death number.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Well, I questioned that too, because I thought she said that there were seven on the council at the beginning, and we only physically saw six. Like the one guy in the back, and then there was there's five sitting at a table when we walk in, and then one guy is like running back and forth like a note taker, and then I probably saw one person just hanging out like our teleport guy on the Enterprise, just sitting in the corner. So I thought he was the seventh one who was like in putting numbers. Right. So that would be my seven, but then he would be the one that puts in the algorithm.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

Well, that's also that's also a thing that's never addressed in the episode. The the I would say the leader of the high council, his name is Anon Seven. True. We have May 3. Yeah, all these stupid names. Well, they all have a number in them.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

So I also not addressed why they all happen to have a number in them. Ultimately. I guess, or there's currently three Mays across the entire planet, or just three Mays living in the capital. I have no idea. Maybe it's the way they spell their name. Maybe. Three. But ultimately, yeah. It's just kind of it's an interesting premise. It's not very captivating in how it's executed. And ultimately, I think they could have done I I think the episode could have been more. I think if they had addressed that was the biggest question I have watching this episode, is are they in fact executing and planning the attacks and the and actual actively participating in this war? Or have they switched everything over to an autopilot system where the computer is the one determining the when, the strength of the attack, and so forth. And not just calculating the results, the number of dead.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

And then where are all these chambers that all these people out in the rural sticks have to go to?

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure we could break down the math, but they were they said disintegration chamber number 12, and I'm like, okay, how many chambers would it take? How long does it take to disintegrate someone? Pretty quick, but a matter of seconds as opposed to minutes, but you still have the seconds it takes to step into the chamber, activate the chamber, and so forth. Say goodbye to your loved one. Multiply that by half a million, and then divide that by 24 hours, the amount of time that they had to comply. So Might as well do mass grace. Yeah. How many chambers would they need? Someone do the math on that. Put in the comments how many chambers you think it would take to massacre half a million people.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

Now.

Treking Through the Episode

SPEAKER_02 9:53

But with all that being said, Jackie, let's just get into the episode. Why don't you walk us through the episode?

SPEAKER_00 10:00

And yes, I'm reading my notes on yellow Google notepaper. Yeah. I found out how to do it.

SPEAKER_02 10:06

Jackie has discovered how to change the background color in Google documents. Still using Comic Sans as a font. And I'm still gonna judge you on that.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

So we open up on the bridge and our captain's log. We are en route to a star cluster NGC 23. And we are trying to open up diplomatic relations with this cluster. Uh we have sent a message to a planet MNR7, and we're awaiting its reply. Kirk checks in with Yahura, and she reports that the planet has not returned any communications. And as she's doing that, in Walks a Man, they all call ambassador. And I think he's wearing olive pajamas with lots of lace.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

Yeah, it's a it's a particular costume that gets repeated a couple times throughout a couple episodes for different characters.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

I mean it's pretty, but interesting.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

It's unique.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

In fact, Kirk double checks with Yajura after the ambassador arrived, and the planet did send a message back, code 710. And we know that means do not approach for any reason. The ambassador finds it super silly and tells Kirk to ignore it and keep going. And just to make sure, Kirk questions him again. I mean, leaving off the ambassador title. I thought that was kind of strange. He just kind of calls him Mr. Fox. And Fox reintegrates, I want to add a treaty port for the Federation in the area. That way thousands don't have to be killed. And if we do that and make it peaceful, it all should be well.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

Right, which is this this is reiterating, we get confirmation later in the episode, but this shows that Starfleet, Fox, Kirk, they have advanced knowledge that there is some kind of conflict or war going on in this sector of space. Because again, their motivation is we want to create diplomatic treaties and we want to be able to have influence over the star system to help negotiate a peace.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

You're right, because he knows that there's disruption, but he does say he doesn't want interplanetary war. So I don't think he knows how far it's gotten.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Right. Well, that's Kirk's concern, is that if they ignore the message and they inject themselves into these circumstances, that they very well could get drawn into this war, which spoiler, they do.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

So Fox and Kirk have this tussle, and as Fox storms out of the bridge, he's like, Let me know when we're in orbit, and then off he goes.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Right, because it's revealed that as his rank or title of ambassador, he has authority over Kirk and the ship. If Kirk had his way, they wouldn't continue the mission, but he has to follow the ambassador's orders and they have to continue to uh MR7, the planet.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

We have our opening credits, and we pop back on the bridge, and more security is visible at the turbolift entrance. We have finally entered the orbit around the MR7. Kurt goes to Spock so he can learn more about the planet itself, because Spock has that fancy computer, and he relays that there's little known about them, but it seems that they're quite advanced. They've had spaceflight for several centuries. Um last time they were contacted was over 50 years ago, though, and the USS Valiant was unable to return from its mission though.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

Right, so we have to assume that all this information came from the USS Valiant while they were there at the planet, and then they disappeared from their mission. I don't know why it takes 50 years to go follow up to a missing ship, but that's another story. Also of note, when describing the civilization of MR7, Spock points out that while they do have spaceflight, they are a pre-warp society. Jackie's shrugging her shoulders at me. They don't have warp drives. They cannot travel faster than the speed of light.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

Okay, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

So just like the botany bay from Space Seed, they can go out in space, but they can't go very fast.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Alright, I think I'm with you. Ambassador Fox comes back onto the bridge and he wants to know why Kirk has decided that he's gonna go down to the planet alone.

SPEAKER_02 15:07

Yeah, I don't I think that's a mistake that Ambassador Fox speaks. I don't think Kirk ever planned on going down alone. Obviously, Kirk was gonna take a team.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

Right.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

But he does say alone.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

I think Fox, you know, just like you said earlier, he wants all the pomp and circumstance.

SPEAKER_02 15:26

He wants the accolades, he wants to be in charge, he wants to dictate how things are going. But in this instance, Kirk's able to push back and explain that they don't know what kind of reception they'll get down on the planet's surface, they don't know if they're gonna be friendly or hostile. Again, they've ignored this transmission from the planet, warning them to stay away, and they don't know why they want them to stay away. So Kirk ultimately tells Fox that no, you're gonna stay on the Enterprise until we can establish what kind of reception and their feelings toward us. Then we'll talk about bringing you down. And he's successful.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

And we learn that the transporter room is ready, and Spock tells him no, we don't know exactly where we're going, since again, don't come. But hopefully we're gonna get you near an official building. So there will be some kind of general council of sorts. And Kirk inquires about the status of the enterprise, makes sure that the screens are down, but ready to go back up if needed. And so Kirk has a landing party pick up phaser ones. Are are they in order? Ones, twos, and threes of power?

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Yeah, don't pay too much attention to this classification of phasers. It's not really accurate or set in stone at this point in Star Trek. Point for the episode, they're taking down phasers that are meant for, I would describe them as personal defense and not necessarily aggressive weapons.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

So maybe kind of like, you know, concealed carry.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

So he hands off the Enterprise to Scotty's capable hands. Yep. And I just love it in their little chat. Uh Scotty says, Have a bonny time. I'm like, aww.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

We're not gonna do the the accent, everyone. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

No, I I would tear it up, but the little chit was adorable.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

Right. There is a unnecessarily tense moment after Kirk hands over command to Scotty and leaves the bridge. A moment between Scotty and Ambassador Fox, where there's just dramatic music and camera going back and forth between the two. I felt it was out of place.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Totally. Ambassador is not acting like the ambassador. He he's like a jealous little kid not able to play with the Tonka toy.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

Okay, maybe that does fit more into the episode to show how much of a child the ambassador is.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

So they teleport down to the city.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Right, and by they we mean Kirk, Spock, a yeoman, and two security personnel.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

And a different yeoman.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

Yes, once again, we are running through the yeomans.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

And I called the city that they landed into kind of like a cement emerald city as if they were in the Wizard of Oz.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Yeah, it's another fun. Again, we're watching the remaster version, not the original version, so it's slightly different. But it is, I think, a lot of fun in the original series when we get these very pulled back shots and we get these huge landscape shots from television in a time where CGI did not exist. I think they're fun shots when they can do it.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

No, it's beautiful. I really do love I think that's what I like most besides the music of this journey we've been going on. All of the creativity of the people behind the scenes. Sure. So all six of them are standing there, like, what do we do? And in walks this beautiful blonde lady who is wearing like a scarf, like as a dress. It's she looks like a butterfly, in my opinion. And she has two like dudes with her, and they're just in this ugly uniform.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Yeah. Kind of like the half oshkosh bagosh.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

And these weird hats.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Yeah. I'm thinking of the episode What Little Girls Are Made of. The it those were kind of Oshkosh Bagosh inspired, and if I remember correctly, what's her name had like a half strap and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Yeah. And then like their hats, though, is like a a balloon without the top. It's so weird.

SPEAKER_02 19:53

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

So she introduces herself as Maya 3 by just kind of call her me throughout the day, kind of like May. Yeah. Kirk is actually kind of confused. He doesn't understand why they were told not to come. Looking around, there doesn't seem to be any strife or problems happening. And May is like, oh no, there's issues, but I have to take you somewhere else so that you can find out because you ignored the warnings. And she introduces them to the seven members of the High Council.

SPEAKER_02 20:27

Five members of the High Council. So the leader of the High Council is Anon Seven. See, that's where I assume seven. Yeah. There's only five members of the Council, at least how it's laid out. The sixth person that you referred to at the beginning of the episode is exactly that. A runner, a staff person, their version of a yeoman. I'm gonna say it's a high council of five. And yeah, the guy's name is just a non-seven.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

And again, we have such beauty. It looks like their hallways are the Enterprise, but more angular. And I don't know, it's just gorgeous.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Yeah, it's a reused set. I don't recall the exact I th it's a reused set. I think we get to see it more in upcoming episodes, but I don't really recall I don't recall which set it's from or what episode it's from.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

And these gentlemen that we meet are all wearing like black scuba suits, and each have different color fabric just draped over their shoulders as if it's magical. And then they all have a fabric patch. It looks like three Fs in a row. Okay. I just found that interesting.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

It's not five F's, it's not Farley's flavors. Jackie doesn't know what I'm talking about. It's my Rocky Horror reference for the episode. Shock treatment. Go watch shock treatment, everyone. We'll do a bonus episode on that later.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

I have so many things I have to watch.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

And so the man in gold. He is the one that we meet mostly in charge, and his name is Anon 7. Perfect. And again, he asks, Why are you here? You're not supposed to be here. We are clearly at war, but yet there's no evidence of war anywhere.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

No. And he echoes what May said earlier. There's definitely a theme of, well, you guys shouldn't have come. You're in danger. But since you're here, we're going to offer or extend hospitality. Um, we're gonna be kind to you. You're our guests for the moment.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

And Spock does compliment. He's like, I just scanned you, you guys are great. I mean, it looks great here. And but uh, who are you at war with? And we learn that they've been at war for five hundred years with the third planet of the system called Vinticar. Even though it was settled by their planet, they like they've made a truce, but they each fight each other one like in tandem and have to lose 100 to 300 million civilians a year.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

Yeah, so uh again it opens up the question do they have to? Is that what determines that number? Is that j that's what they that's the average casualties of the war per year? Is that part of the truce, or is that just the computer dictating that number in order to maintain a status quo?

SPEAKER_00 23:29

And as they're all chit-chatting, there's an alert saying an attack is imminent, and they all wander to the war room, and it's like the city landscape, like there's that aerial view that we see at a normal town council, and a splatter of red plops on the screen, and Mae goes, and I guess our area has been attacked.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

Right. But we don't know. Right. I'll point out some problems with that in a bit.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

And Kirk asks Bach, did you hear anything? No. He then we learn that the yeoman, her name is Tamala. And I admit I find her adorable. I mean, she's not they don't have her overly done up, overly anything. She looks like someone doing her job. Right. So good job there. And Tamil is like, my tricorder readings say nothing happened. So I don't know what you're talking about. So but Kirk asks May, if everything is so silent, how are you all fighting each other? And she replies, fusion bombs.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Yeah. Again, not making any mention that this is all a simulated attack, a war game computerized attack.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Kirk also contacts Scotty. Have your scanners indicated anything? No, everything is fine from where we're sitting, also. And Kirk just shares a concerned look with Spock as he closes the communicator. So we pop over to another part of the council room that we were in, and we see that screen I was talking about where it shows all the numbers for the day and the f and the attack. And it's comp comparing those of 50 years ago to those of today. Like you were warned.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Well, what we see specifically is besides the attack that takes place on the city, on a second screen that I guess you have to assume shows space around the planet, they see a second attack, which is the simulated attack against the Enterprise. They make comment that this is the same thing that happened 50 years ago. So let's connect the dots here. Fifty years ago, the USS Valiant disappeared. So we have to assume that 50 years ago, while the USS Valiant was in orbit around the planet, the computer simulated an attack and the destruction of the ship. Because what's going to come up very soon is all of these simulated deaths have to be enacted. So they're just commenting that this is the exact same that happened 50 years ago. The starship ignored our warnings, they came here, the computer is simulated that the ship has been destroyed. We now have to follow through on that simulation, and now the crew has to die.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

And Kirk finally realizes that in order to make these numbers equal in real life, people are walking into chambers and being destroyed.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

Disintegrated. Disintegrated. And so, yeah, because Anon shares that. Very quickly, it it all the pieces of the puzzle fall together. Spock's the first one to recognize that the war is being waged by computers, like we've been saying. Anon 7 shares that fact that, yeah, no, this is all simulated. While the computer is simulated that half a million people have died, they haven't actually died. They have 24 hours to report to our disintegration chambers so that we can balance our accounting and we can make these deaths actually happen.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

And Anand is so excited that Spock understands what he's talking about. I think that's so gross of him.

SPEAKER_02 27:23

Well, there's a there's a fun there's a fun moment. It's it's uh Spock says, you know, Anand shares this is what it is. Spock says, well, there is a logic to this. And Anand says, Well, I'm glad you approve. And Spock's like, I do not approve, I understand. And then Anon says, Well, good, I'm glad you understand. I don't care if you approve or not. Like tying back to when he says there's logic to it, Anand really doesn't want their approval. He just wants their understanding. Because what happens next is he shares that the enterprise was simulated as being destroyed. The crew of the enterprise has 24 hours to report to the disintegration chambers, and in order to make sure that that happens, the away team are going to be held hostage and only going to be released once the crew of the enterprise has complied, beam down, and willfully get disintegrated in these chambers.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

So we come back from a commercial break, and we have been moved into uh like a side quarters, and May walks in asking if anybody needs anything, you know, before you die. And he Kirk stops her and says, We we just want to talk to a non-seven. Like, what's up? And May says, No, he's busy coordinating the casualty list. Ick. Yeah. And Kirk threatens her that he'll have more to deal with if he doesn't show his face. And sadly, May, she admits that she's on the list and she has to go report to disintegration by noon tomorrow, or you know, she'll die sooner, I guess. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Sooner or later. So I which brings up an interesting question. How do they calculate the casualty list and how do they decide who has to report for disintegration? Because at the time of the attack, May was in the council's chambers with the council and the away team. But the council doesn't have to report for disintegration. The away team is not being disintegrated. They were being told that they're being held hostage so that the Enterprise crew can come down for disintegration. So it can't be location based, because if May is on the casualty list, then everyone else in that room has to be disintegrated as well. So is it just like a random lottery? When the attack occurs, the attack occurred on the capital, and so they just draw half a million names of people who live in the capital? What if you're just visiting the capital and you live 50 miles away? Are you not on the lottery list? It makes no sense.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

And equal genders, one of each? Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Right. I'm gonna say it's it has to be it. The only thing that makes sense is some kind of convoluted lottery system.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

She even says it's her duty, though. And if she didn't follow suit, then each planet would be forced to actually use weaponry.

SPEAKER_02 30:29

Right. Which now brings us up to the motivation and why they have this system. Because it avoids the use of traditional weapons that cause much more destruction than just killing people. It destroys infrastructure, it destroys culture, it destroys living quarters. The environment. The environment. So with this system in place, it's still war and people still die, but everything else remains intact. Orderly.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

Yes, we'll all die orderly. And then it's as if she ignores everything and says, Are you sure you don't need anything? And she leaves the room. And the guards take the knob off of the door as it closes.

SPEAKER_02 31:19

Yeah, this particular door system requires a little device to be put on the door in order to open and close it.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

That's what the Enterprise needs, so everybody doesn't barge in all the time. Then we jump to the Enterprise Bridge and McCoy is asking Scotty, have you heard back from the landing party? They should have checked in by now. Scotty agrees that, yeah, we should have, but I haven't heard anything, and I can't just, you know, pull them out willy-nilly because he doesn't really know where they are, and he can't just fire at them because they might get hit. And Scotty is he asks McCoy, well, what would you do? And then McCoy's like, I'm just a doctor. Yeah, come on, guys.

SPEAKER_02 32:03

I'm just gonna complain and say that things are not going the way they should, but when it comes time to provide a solution, I'm just gonna feign ignorance. It's it's above my pay grade.

SPEAKER_00 32:14

And as if on cue they hear from quote unquote Kirk, or who they assume is Kirk, saying that the planet has agreed to establish full diplomatic relations. Mr. Fox will love that. And as he's talking, we learn that it's actually Anand using Kirk's voice, like a recording of it, telling Scotty and crew that all is going well. Yeah. And that they're gonna have a great time on shore leave. Like they've been invited.

SPEAKER_02 32:47

Yeah. So let's it it's a voice changer that Anand is using, because it's actually Anand talking, and the voice changer is changing his voice to sound like Kirk. Also, complete ridiculousness because it's a situation where they want everyone to come down for shore leave, which means the Enterprise has to be crewed by someone, and Anon is trying to convince the Enterprise using Kirk's voice that no, no, no, everyone come down. We'll just have some people from MR 7 come up and man the vital systems of the ship while everyone gets a vacation. So just go ahead and turn the Enterprise over to these strangers. Like that's gonna go well.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

And of course, McCoy is very concerned, because he's our concerned man.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

Yeah, both McCoy and Scotty are concerned. Um, thankfully, because this would be a really huge plot hole to the whole thing. I don't know if this is how they tricked the USS Valiant and how they got them to disappear. Stupid move. But in any case, Scotty sees through the deception, he he is sees the red flag, has the recording, because I guess the computer's automatically reporting the is for the log, of course, and has the computer analyze Kirk's voice, and the computer is able to hear through it, and the computer reports that it is like 98% certain that this is a faked voice of Kirk, it's not real.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

I'm so glad that Scotty did that. Like I was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Yeah, otherwise, this would have been a way worse episode.

SPEAKER_00 34:26

So we're back on the planet, and then there's little quarters, and Kirk and Spock are like, we gotta figure something out. Like, do your Vulcan abilities can they do telepathic things? And Spock is like, Well, I can attempt to. Like, some people do have the abilities. He's so logical. I love this. And so we see Spock go over to the door to the wall where the guard is standing on the other side, and he's like all armed stretchy, spider limb, moving along the doorway, and finally he finds the guard and does like a pretending like he's holding onto his head from a the other side, and he's provoking him to attach the door knob to the door to have it open.

SPEAKER_02 35:19

Yeah, I don't think in this moment Spock is directly controlling the guard. I think he's just implanted some kind of notion in the guard's brain, and the guard is making the conscious decision to go into the room to investigate something. Spock is planting a hunch that, hey, you need to go check on the prisoners right now.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

So Oh, that makes sense like a suggestion of sorts.

SPEAKER_02 35:44

Yeah, exactly. Not direct mind control.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

And so he opens the door, and that's where Kirk, like, pulls him in, and they grab his his weapon, and Kirk's like, Well, we need more weapons too, but we'll get there. So Kirk and Spock are able to get out of that chamber, and they turn a corner where we see the disintegration chamber in action. A loving couple is embracing, saying goodbye, and we find May though, and pull her out of line. Like, you're not going in there, Missy. And then Spock goes up to one of the guards and he's like, Excuse me, sir, you have a multiple-legged creature on your shoulder. Let me get that for you. And he Vulcan pinches him and gets his own himself his own a weapon. I swear Kirk is hiding a giggle. Like, in the background, though.

SPEAKER_02 36:42

Yeah. It's also, I'll just point out, it's kind of weird. There's a overall theme throughout the episode in many instances of the away team experiencing passiveness from the guards and the populace. Spock is able to, this is not the first, this won't be the last time either in the episode. Spock is able to just calmly walk up to the guard and get this line out about a multi-legged creature on the guard's shoulder. The guard is not questioning Spock, he's just kind of standing there. Like you would assume the guards would see, this is someone who doesn't belong on the planet. Why are you here? So I again it just felt like, and then even in a moment, um I'll point out after all this happens, Kirk uses a phaser to destroy the disintegration chamber. He ends up scattering all the people. No one puts up much of a fight in any of this. Again, they seem very passive. I think that's just a sign that this society is has evolved to a point where they're not used to experiencing any sort of civil unrest or pushback against any of these policies and procedures for this war.

SPEAKER_00 37:59

It's just the way it is.

SPEAKER_02 38:00

Yep, this is just the way it is. So the guards are unused to people fighting, putting up a fight against any of this. Just an interesting observation, I found.

SPEAKER_00 38:09

No, I completely agree with you, because there's like no questions whatsoever. We jump to the council chambers and security has called to tell Anon that Kirk and Ko have escaped and they need to be found. He also orders the planetary weapons to destroy the Enterprise. We come back from a break, and the Enterprise is under attack. Thankfully, though, that the screens have saved them. Yeah. And McCoy does joke that the people are not they don't seem too friendly at this point.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

They say they keep referring to it as screens. They're they're technically shields. Um, at this point in Star Trek history, shields are the primary form of defense. You go back earlier in Star Trek to like the Enterprise series before shields existed and it was all polarized plating and so forth. But screens, shields, same thing.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

Scotty goes on saying that they have few options on how to fire upon the planet with everything up. It limits all the options. Uh all he has are photon torpedoes, really. And then that's when Ambassador Fox pops on the bridge and cuts off all the talk about firing on the planet.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

A little odd that they can't fire their phasers through the shields, but they can fire photon torpedoes, but let's just ignore that for a moment.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

And then Fox, like, he's kinda stupid because he's like, How do we have all these things happening? But they're they're supposed to be friendly. Like, what what is that what exactly is going wrong on the planet that's this is happening up here?

SPEAKER_02 39:44

Right. And again, he's super focused on his mission. He wants to establish diplomatic relations, that's his only goal. He's ignored the fact that they've just been fired upon from the planet. He's ignoring the fact that they sent up a fake communication to make it sound like Kirk to try to get the Enterprise crew to abandon their posts to come down for vacation. He's being very naive.

SPEAKER_00 40:08

Fox then has Yura create an open channel and to expect priority one messaging from him and to make sure it stays open because he wants to go down to the planet and handle all these misunderstandings himself. Because of course he's such a good mitigator. Scotty is upset with it, but he puts it into effect. We're on the planet, and May is just pleading for them to let her go. Like we just she just needs to do her her place. And then someone questions, why are we back in where we were locked up at the first place? Well, no one would look at look for us here if we ran away.

SPEAKER_02 40:48

Yeah, and it's a set that we already have, so we don't need to make a new set.

SPEAKER_00 40:51

They've been able to collect four weapons and they also have a communication device.

SPEAKER_02 40:56

Right. Count them as they go out, though. They take four phasers with them and they leave one phaser behind for the yeoman to guard May. So that's really five phasers. No one can count.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

They're just excited. Kirk asks about the outline of the planet, like where everything is, and she refuses to help. Like, why aren't you helping out?

SPEAKER_02 41:14

Yeah, there's some back and forth and resistance. Uh, she questions Kirk's motives and what he's doing. Kirk says that he's not trying to disrupt things in a way that she's imagining. He is trying to put an end to this crazy war and the and the deaths and everything, the entire situation. She eventually would have to give in and give them directions to the war room and the council room. It's the only way they know would know how to get there.

SPEAKER_00 41:42

We arrive again in the council room, and the high council is discussing how they're not anywhere near quota. And then they get a call from Fox, and he's trying to, you know, be the diplomat that he is, and he doesn't understand why anything is happening and why they're being attacked. And then it's like he's kind of Anand kind of you know pushes in. Well, if you put your screens down, you know, all would be well. Yeah. Open open up yourself for my attack.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Anon tries to, well, he just lies, flat out lies, and says, Oh, it's all just one giant under misunderstanding. We thought the enterprise was attacking us, which is why we in turn attacked you. But and we, you know, but the away team's fine. Again, giant misunderstanding on our part. We're so sorry. Hey, ambassador, why don't you come down? Let's just talk about this and actually do the diplomatic mission that you're here for. But in the end, he doesn't even close the comms. It's so stupid. He just kind of whispers to the side to his uh staff, hey, once the once the shields come down on the Enterprise, destroy them.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

So Fox tells Scotty to lower the screens as a show of good faith, let me go down there, all is well. And Scotty refuses to do that until Kirk himself says so. And I mean, McCoy and he are showing Fox, they copied his voice. How are we certain that's really him?

SPEAKER_02 43:11

Right. And so Scotty refuses to lower the shields, refuses to follow the order from Ambassador Fox, including in the face of a threat from Fox for being written up, and then we jump back down to the planet.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

And Anon is so proud of himself, he's pouring himself a glass of wine.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

And we see Kirk try to sneak up on Anon. It doesn't really work. Anon becomes aware of Kirk's presence. There's the back and forth argument between Anon and Kirk. Anand trying to justify the current system they have in place to fight this war. Kirk telling him he's insane and this is no way to do it. And give us our com you need to give us our communicators back. You need to give us our phasers, our weapons. We need to. End this. We're not gonna comply.

SPEAKER_00 44:02

And then Anon does push a silent alarm calling for more people to come and get him. I mean, he basically calls Kirk also a barbarian.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Yeah. And ultimately, Anon tells Kirk, all your equipment and your communicators are in the war room. Just head out into the hallway. It's just down the hallway to go get him. Kirk goes to leave. I think Kirk somehow anticipates that there are guards on the other side of the door. That's why he tells Anand to come with him to the war room as kind of a hostage. They leave. We get a quick little tussle fight scene between Kirk, the two guards that show up. Anon kind of hangs back. Ultimately, while it looks like Kirk might get the upper hand, the two guards manage to subdue Kirk, and Anand orders that he be taken to the council room.

SPEAKER_00 44:50

And then we pop outside to the Cement Emerald City where the original landing area was. And Fox, along with a gentleman that popped up somewhere, he also is in a gray suit. He arrives with Fox.

SPEAKER_02 45:07

It has to be his assistant.

SPEAKER_00 45:09

I would presume so. And he's greeted by two guards and greeted by two guards and a nun.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

Right. And so let's talk about the elephant in the room. Let's talk about the biggest problem this episode has. We just watched a whole confrontation between Fox and Scotty, where Scotty refused to lower their shields, which means Fox couldn't beam down through the shields. How does Fox beam down to the planet? Scotty would not lower the shields. It's physically impossible to transport through the shields. And on top of which, Anon has ordered the weapons on the planet to monitor the Enterprise, so as soon as the shields are lowered, they would attack to destroy the Enterprise. So they were actively watching for the shields to be lowered. Are we supposed to believe that the Enterprise was able to lower the shields fast enough, get the transport off, and get the shields back up in such a quick period of time to catch the planetary defenses off guard that they didn't have enough time to shoot down the Enterprise? Terrible. Terrible writing, terrible plot point.

SPEAKER_00 46:17

That was why he had that tall single guy with him.

SPEAKER_02 46:20

Coverage. Right.

SPEAKER_00 46:22

As they enter the building, they stop, and Anand tells Ambassador Fox and his friend that we're so sorry, but you are now a casualty of war, and we'll have to take you and add you to the numbers. And they just take all of his paperwork from him and lock him away. And then meanwhile, we're back in the original room where the landing party was kept, and Spock has been able to get the communicator that they have and it's able to work and reach the enterprise. Yahara shouts for Scotty, and that's where Spock is able to tell Scotty everything that has happened and to go as far out of the orbit as they can and wait for directions. And at this point, I saw that the security gentleman that they had had taken over, had changed dress, like they're now in the uniforms of the other security personnel.

SPEAKER_02 47:25

Right. In addition to all this going on, Scotty tells Spock that Ambassador Fox is already beamed down to the planet. Spock then takes the two security personnel disguised as local guards, and they go out from the quarters into the hallway, presumably, to try to track down Ambassador Fox or Kirk or someone. Figure out what's going on. They leave the yeoman to guard May, and we really don't see May again for the rest of the episode.

SPEAKER_00 47:57

We see that Ambassador Fox and his associate are being forced into the disintegration chamber, and he's making a fuss. This is where Spock is walking with, you know, the quote unquote guards and get in line, you're next. And instead, Spock is able to fight the other guards and be able to regain control, saving both Fox and his assistant. Spock pushes everyone away from the chamber and he shoots the chamber so that it explodes. So now we have two chambers gone. And I mean we have to go to safety, but we also have to find out where Captain Kirk was taken. Thankfully, Fox knows that he's in the council room, but he's under heavy guard, so he hasn't been a soldier, but he learns quickly. Hopefully he can help out. We bounce back into the council room, and this is when he's explaining to Kirk how important it is that all these people need to go into the chamber and disintegrate. Like, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 49:06

Right, specifically because they have to maintain the status quo. Again, if they don't maintain the status quo, they will be in violation of this treaty that they have with the other planet that they're at war with. And if they break the treaty, it all falls apart and conventional war will resume. Of course, Kirk doesn't buy it, doesn't want to play along. Anand calls up to the Enterprise to again try to get compliance from the Enterprise crew. When they open up the channel, Kirk critically jumps up and tells Scotty to execute Order 24 in 24 hours. He's ordering that Scotty has two hours to allow this situation to resolve itself before the Enterprise will be authorized to blow up the planet, destroy everything on the planet, etc. Anand responds in kind to say, well, my offer and ultimatum is you the Enterprise crew has 30 minutes, Mr. Scotty, to have the entire crew beam down and report for disintegration to maintain the status quo. Otherwise, we will kill and execute the members of the away team. Because again, they're not on the casualty list, they're not being expected to die. At this point, everything's unraveling for Anon. He's just trying to do what he can to maintain the status quo and bring it back up to status quo. We do a quick jump to an exterior corridor where we see Spock and Security, Fox and his aide or assistant stalking down the hallway. They get ambushed by other guards. There's a quick fire flight. There's a quick firefight. Everyone gets subdued. The aide gets killed. Fox doesn't even no one comments to it. He just gets shot, dies, and in complete silence, they end up just leaving his body in the corridor, and they continue on.

SPEAKER_00 51:03

Back in the High Council room, Kirk has been able to take advantage of just a guard walking by, and he is able to subdue them all. And he Spock also is able to break into the room. He's like, I thought you guys needed help. And nope, not really. But Kirk breaks into the war room and destroys the computer with his phaser.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

Anon is upset that Kirk has destroyed the computer because he explains that the other planet is now going to assume that they violated the treaty, and the other planet will resume traditional warfare. They'll actually start dropping bombs on the city and actually destroying society, infrastructure, and so forth. Kirk points out that was the whole purpose of my plan. You now either have to face the realities of war and not this little clean-cut war game simulator that you've been running, or you can actually pull your guys's self up by your bootstraps, go to the negotiating table, and negotiate peace.

SPEAKER_00 52:06

Foxes offered to stay on the planet to help both of the warring planets to negotiate how things will go on forward. We are now back on the bridge of the enterprise, and Kirk has told the navigator to head to Argona 2. Must be another planet. And he checks in with Scotty, makes sure every all their details are set, and Yahura also has a message from the ambassador Fox that reports negotiations are are going well.

Final Thoughts

SPEAKER_02 52:39

And roll credits. So Jackie, what did you think about season one, episode 23, A Taste of Armageddon?

SPEAKER_00 52:48

I think we just got a taste.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

Okay. Uh again, I think it's just a okay episode. It's got a lot of plot holes in it. Again, the biggest one, how does the ambassador beam down to the planet through the shields if the shields aren't lowered? Also just doesn't really have any substance to it. It's just a mediocre episode to me. We'll round out our impressions with our favorite quotes from the episode. Jackie, what is your favorite quote?

SPEAKER_00 53:31

Like I said earlier, I just thought it was cute when Spock goes to the guard and says, Sir, there's a multi-legged creature crawling on your shoulder. And then he does the Vulcan nerve pinch when he's trying to just say, You have a spider on your shoulder, let me get it off of you. And no one's jumping around, popping around. Get off of me, get off of me.

SPEAKER_02 53:52

And I've already quoted my favorite quote. It's the moment where Spock is exclaiming after realizing that this entire war is just being simulated by a computer, and Spock says, There is a certain scientific logic about it. Anon says, I'm glad you approve. Spock says, I do not approve, I understand. And then, of course, Anand says, Well, good. I'm glad you understand, at least, even if you don't approve. Again, it just kind of ties in that message that he's not seeking their approval. It kind of sets this expectation from the character that he's not really going to be reasoned with at any point.

SPEAKER_00 54:34

So I also really did just to throw it in there, when Tamala is supposed to be watching May, she's even told to knock her down and sit on her if you need to. And I was like, snap, snap, because Tamil was like saucy.

Tribble Tidbits

Episode Ranking

SPEAKER_02 54:48

Yeah. I those are fun moments in the moment. Like, that's a fun moment. It's also a fun moment when Spock is talking about the multi-legged creature on the guy's shoulder. I think there's you could even say that it's a fun moment when Scotty is put in charge of the Enterprise and there's that tense little back and forth silent staring contest between him and Ambassador Fox. Those are all fun moments. They just, I think, stick out like a sore thumb in this episode. Totally agree. But we do have some triple tidbits or fun facts about the episode. Why do we call them triple tidbits, Jackie? Because they're the best. Because Jackie doesn't know what tribles are yet. They're both a fun little thing, but also a curse. As all of our fun facts are not always fun. Like glitter. So, first airing February 23rd, 1967. I mentioned into the very beginning, of course, again, Crewman DePaul uh taking the place of the navigator for Sulu, is uh actor Sean Kenny, who plays Pike in the Menagerie Part 1 and Part 2. James Dohan, the actor who plays Scotty in real life when he was uh serving in as a lieutenant in the Royal Canadian Artillery during World War II, he refused an order from a colonel uh during a training exercise when he realized that that order would put a significant number of people in harm's way. He refused the order. Thankfully, he was backed by his superiors at that point. He, and even though he was threatened with a court-martial at the time, it never happened. And just like his real character, Scotty, he eventually would be promoted to the rank of captain. That's awesome. The actor who played Anon 7 was originally considered to play Dr. Boyce in the original pilot episode, The Cage, the Doctor who just brings the martini to Captain Pike. And then finally, in a blink and you miss it moment, the very first shot of the bridge, the opening shot of the bridge of the episode, we see another Vulcan science officer standing next to Uhura. You have to kind of squint to notice that they're a Vulcan, but they're there. And this is gonna be the only other time that we see and get a reference to another Vulcan serving on the Enterprise in the original series. I need to go rewind. But those are our triple tidbits. And this is where we will share our episode ranking. This is where we pretend that the episode today is a member of our crew for our fictitious star ship, and we assign a rank to the episode. A higher rank means we not only found the episode more entertaining to watch, but we consider it a more important member of our crew. And the opposite is true, a lower rank means we find it less entertaining and we find them to be a more disposable member of our crew. Our enlisted ranks start at ensign, they go up to lieutenant junior grade and lieutenant. We can have an unlimited number of those. And then our officers, we can have seven lieutenant commanders, five commanders, one captain, and one admiral for a best of the best perfect episode for the season. Jackie, this week for the USS Galactic Glitter B, what rank do you give this episode?

SPEAKER_00 58:08

I am going to keep this episode, sorry, down in my lieutenant junior grade.

SPEAKER_02 58:16

And why are we gonna give it that grade?

SPEAKER_00 58:18

I'm gonna keep it here because I again I liked the idea. I liked the story, I liked where it was going, but it was missing, just like you mentioned, uh it was missing so much in the background.

SPEAKER_02 58:32

And for my Starship the USS Cosmic Shark, I also am going to keep it as a lieutenant junior grade. It's a okay episode, as I've mentioned. It's mediocre. There's significant plot holes, and at the end of the day, it just kind of feels like a bunch of different ideas got chopped up and pasted together. It's an interesting concept, it's an interesting idea to have this simulated war and compliance with this mandated death toll that they have to keep a status quo to. And then that's kinda it. There's nothing really else super exciting about it. So Lieutenant Junior grade is going to be my rank this week. If none of that made sense, don't worry. We post a visual representation of our rankings where you can see all of the rankings for all the episodes we've covered over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash treks and tangents. And a new visual representation of the ranks will go live Wednesday, the day after this episode goes live. For reference on IMDb, as of this recording, this episode surprisingly ranks an 8.0. Whoa. Kind of a high rank for an episode. Don't agree with it, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 59:54

But you said for around this time it was probably decent, right?

Turbolift Tease

SPEAKER_02 59:58

Sure. There's a lot of undertones and reference that we haven't touched on to the episode. I also can point out that IMDB ratings are not based on what people were viewing it with those eyes in that context in 1967. It's people today raking it, so. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. But we'll end the episode as we always do with our Turbo Leftees for next week's episode. This is where I'll give Jackie the title of next week's episode, and Jackie, without any other context or information, will try to guess the plot of the episode. Jackie, next week's episode is entitled This Side of Paradise.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:41

The Enterprise has been out in space fighting and collecting samples, doing everything. But they're obviously going to need a vacation one of these days, so perhaps they are on their way to a nice little oasis of Hawaiian paradise to be able to relax. But then something pops up and surprises them.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:10

And tune in next week to decide if Jackie's prediction is close to being correct. If you want more show information, you can find and directly support our podcast on Patreon at patreon.com slash treks and tangents. Again, as a reminder, we'll post at the same time a bonus episode or our Star Note episode where we'll take one, maybe two topics from this episode and do a deeper dive into it, just kind of have a general discussion. It's free for all members of our Patreon, and we're also slowly working our way back through our back catalog and recording similar bonus episodes as well. So we're gonna try to continue to publish two episodes a week until we catch up, where we post the current Star Note and then an episode from the backlog. Also over on our Patreon, you can listen to our bonus episodes where we do a deeper dive into the animated series that comes out on the fourth Friday of every month. We also have posted, like I mentioned, our episode rankings, all of our test episodes where we were learning, where we were trying to work out the bugs and kind of narrow down the focus and the format of the episodes where we saved all those recordings or what was we deemed publishable, but there's like 13, 14 episodes, test episodes we did. So that's all on there as well for anyone who wants to listen, all of our members. Again, patreon.com slash treks and tangents. You can also follow us on X at Treks underscore tangents. We're also on Instagram and Blue Sky at Treks and Tangents. We're trying to get better about consistently posting there. So throw us a follow. Again, don't forget to like, comment, subscribe wherever you consume this podcast, share it with a friend. You can also send us an email, old school, treksandangents at gmail.com if you wanted to. But Jackie, where can people find you and what are you up to?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:09

I'm definitely trying to boost my Instagram where you can find me as jaboomjb. I'm almost to a thousand. But on there you can see my music, my service dog uh training, my advocacy for disabilities, um clothing, fashion, mid-sized fashion, makeup, glitter. Everything's glitter. But pop over there and hang out with me. I would really love chit-chatting and hanging out with you too.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:46

And for me, you can always watch me stream a variety of video games over at twitch.tv slash piratepoundtown whenever I have time to go live. Generally, I'm doing World of Warcraft these days with the new expansion. On YouTube, I post video games and other random content on my main channel, Pirate Poundtown, doing some offline off-stream recordings of some playthrough of some games, so we'll just start posting that whenever I have enough content to get up. You can also find coin collecting and other hobby content over at Pirate Treasure Hunting. I post socially on Blue Sky at Pirate Poundtown, and day-to-day life and activity whenever I think about it. You can find me on Instagram under Pineapple Cannibal. Links to all social media mentioned can be found in the episode description. Thank you everyone for tuning into this week's episode. We hope you had fun like we did. See you all next week.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:39

Yes, Queen.