Surprise Bonus Episode (April Fools' - 2026)

[Hailing Frequencies Open]

That's right, today is April Fools' Day! What better way to celebrate than with a bonus episode. Something familiar, but a little different. Something goofy, yet something still enjoyable. Something... well, we don't want to spoil the surprise. 

Join us as we explore a movie from the past that maybe you've seen too many times like co-host Jaci has, maybe something you can barely remember the details to like co-host Brian can't... but hopefully something fun.

One hint? Ok... "Put the tribble in the box."

[End Transmission]

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Alien Frequencies Open and welcome aboard Treks and Tangents. I'm your co-host Brian.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

And I'm your co-host Jackie. I'm the Star Trek newbie who treks off on tangents.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

I'm your Star Trek expert who is here to get the tangents back on track.

SPEAKER_04 0:22

Each episode we watch and talk about a different Star Trek episode, but not this episode. Instead, we watched Conair. April Fools. So special thanks to a fan of the podcast for suggesting a while ago to do an April Fool's episode to me. The history behind the episode. Jackie suggested Con Air. I came back and said maybe we could do another sci-fi show. We could do a sci-fi movie. We could something serious, something uh a little more offbeat. Jackie suggested Con Air. Yes. I suggested other science fiction movies that maybe Jackie hasn't watched, like Back to the Future. Jackie suggested Con Air.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

It's a great suggestion.

SPEAKER_04 1:19

So here we are for April Fools with a very special episode of Treks and Tangents where we talk about Con Air.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Oh yes. With the best actor in the entire world.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

This is gonna be a little bit different of an episode. Hopefully, not too different, and hopefully this doesn't go on forever. Hey. Well, it's a two-hour movie. Well, a lot happens. I know, that's my point. Hopefully, this doesn't take too long to get through. But for those who don't know, Jackie's favorite actor, yes, second favorite actor behind John Wayne. That's a hard decision for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

Not John Wayne, that's my dad's idol. My favorite actor is Nicolas Cage. Okay. So I just know all the John Wayne movies because we watched them as children.

SPEAKER_04 2:09

Right. And so is this your favorite Nicolas Cage movie? And I would let me ask you this of all the Nicolas Cage movies from like this peak 90s action series, I'm not talking modern Nicolas Cage, I'm talking peak Nicolas Cage action. Is this your favorite Nicolas Cage movie?

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Yes, along with Base Off and Eight Millimeter.

SPEAKER_04 2:37

In that order.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 2:39

Okay. Is the answer the same if you expand it out to his entire filmography, including modern stuff like Renfield, that stupid one where he was silent and fighting all of the animatronics that was the Five Night at Freddy's ripoff?

SPEAKER_00 2:56

That one was scary, so I didn't watch it, but I have to get up the gumption to watch it. But yes, these three are still my favorite. Okay. Although the one with his sons, well, not his sons, but it's him and his two boys, and they fight off the monsters that come at night. That was really good.

SPEAKER_04 3:17

I have no idea what movie that is. I think Nicolas Cage is a fine actor. He's done some entertaining work, but his movies are generally not in my wheelhouse.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

I know.

SPEAKER_04 3:27

So this obviously wasn't the first time that you've watched Conair.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

No, it was like my 40th.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

It's not the first time I've watched Conair. It is the first time I've watched Conair in a long time. So it was five dollars spent to get it on a streaming service. I guess we know you like the movie, so I won't ask you what your initial impressions are. I think I'll just ask why do you like Conair? Why is it your favorite Nicolas Cage movie?

SPEAKER_00 3:54

I just love the I mean, this is the one that hooks me. Like he has one-liners that just zing right away. I mean, he is very uh muscly and I mean he does all his own stunts and one arm monkey bars. I mean, he he could use a haircut, and he did tell Trisha Poe who was gonna get one.

SPEAKER_04 4:21

Does he do all of his own stunts in this movie?

SPEAKER_00 4:23

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 4:23

Does he? Yes. Are you sure about that?

SPEAKER_00 4:26

I'm 90% sure.

SPEAKER_04 4:28

Okay. I don't know if he does or not.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Well, I'm gonna say he does.

SPEAKER_04 4:32

Yes, I just looked it up, and he in fact did do all of his own stunts in the movie.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

I mean, all of that workout in the very beginning when he's exchanging his letters with his baby daughter Casey, like he's working out and doing one-arm push-ups, sit-ups, like the man, like he could do it.

SPEAKER_04 4:55

Yeah, he did spend a lot of time in between shots, not only leading up to the movie, but he spent a lot of time on set in between takes, working out, lifting weights to keep that physique throughout filming. So then a big cast of characters and actors for the movie.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Yes, the the cast is amazing. Them in my I mean, they each bring a great like they engulf their character to the max. I mean, John Malkovich as Cyrus the Virus, perfection.

SPEAKER_04 5:29

And ultimately, it is an entertaining movie. It's a fun watch. It's not one that I would watch week after week or multiple times, but for me, it is entertaining because of the characters. The plot is kind of garbage. So this is a movie that you come back to time and time again for that cast of characters.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

Yes, and you know, your feel good put it on while you do your house chores or whatever. Like it's not the bridges in Madison County.

SPEAKER_04 5:59

No, it's the same reason that I think the another action movie that goes into the same genre would be Armageddon. You don't watch Armageddon for the plot of the movie. You watch Armageddon for one, I think, the over-the-top characters.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 6:18

And the drill bit breaking. Well, that's part of the plot that's garbage. And and two, the the special effects. There's some heavy, heavy use of special effects in in Conair that I think carry the movie over the finish line as opposed to the riveting, groundbreaking plot of the episode of the movie.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

You mean you liked seeing Johnny 23's arm just hanging there?

SPEAKER_04 6:47

Sure. I mean, I was referring to the crash landing in Vegas. I was referring to that was a great that was great.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Like the flying propeller.

SPEAKER_04 6:58

Yes, the destruction of the Sands Motel and Casino. The White Corvette. Oh, the ambush in the junkyard airfield about partway through the third act.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Mm-hmm. And it was great. I mean, even again, Cyrus, he's like, oh, look at my audience, I'll make it quick and easy. Here's uh these are uh cops, these are you, shoot this, yay, we're done.

SPEAKER_04 7:27

Yeah. It very much again just has a single track mindset when it comes to the movie of get from point A to point B and make as many one-line jokes as you can in between.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

And on top of that, Steve Buscemi adds another twist, like he's supposed to be this awful, evil murderer, and he's just talking about psychiatry.

SPEAKER_04 7:55

Right. We'll get to we'll get to Steve Buscemi's character here. I have thoughts on his character. So ultimately, hey, it's 90s action movies at its finest here. So for April Fools, Jackie, why don't you walk us through the episode?

SPEAKER_00 8:13

So we open up to black and white uh images and video of Desert Storm, while over those images we hear that the Army Rangers, they have this particular class, they've done great, they have served their country, you you're amazing, but now it's time for you to retire and thank you for your service, and then close-up shot of Cameron Poe, who is Nicolas Cage. And so then we pop back over to Alabama, Mobile, Alabama is where they're from. And Trisha Poe is his wife, who is a waitress in a bar, and Cameron goes into the bar full military attire because he just got home, and he's like, Trisha Poe, and then he calls her he calls her hummingbird, it's really, really adorable. And then he like crouches down because Trisha is pregnant. I don't know when she got pregnant because he was supposed to be fighting a war, but that's cool.

SPEAKER_04 9:31

Hot take from Jackie, it's not even his kid.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

It was like pop in there, and like and again, super cute. He's like, What? You're gonna be Miss Alabama? I'll be so proud. Like, it's just so cute. And then, of course, the Trisha Yearwood is singing How Do I Live Without You over this entire scene. The original of How Do I Live? Sorry, Leanne Rhymes, you didn't really do great.

SPEAKER_04 9:59

Leanne Rhymes originally sang it when she well, she didn't originally sing it, but Leanne Rhymes originally sang it herself when she first sang it. Leanne Rhimes was only 14. So Jackie's hating on a 14-year-old singer.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Well, Trisha did it better. And so, you know, Cameron and Trisha are dancing. Like she should be working, but she's dancing. And three of her regulars are commenting on how, you know, she's so great, hot, blah, blah, blah. And they give her a hard time, and Cameron is like, bring it on. And she's like, refocus her. So Cameron joined the army because he was a bad kid, is what we kind of get from when she goes, I almost saw that boy before.

SPEAKER_04 10:47

Yeah, we get the impression that I uh correct me if I'm wrong at any point if I break Connair lore here. But it's implied that they were maybe not high school sweethearts, but they were together, they knew each other as kids. They certainly were together in an item for a period of time before he joined the military and became an army ranger and went off to fight in Desert Storm. And yes, she implies that you weren't always the best kid. So I imagine the stereotypical story of going into the army, getting that discipline, and changing, but there's always gonna be a bad boy in Cameron Put. This is gonna be an episode of terrible fucking accents. I apologize in advance.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

So now it's so went from great weather to pouring rain, and it's the end of the night, and they're all so giddy running to their car to go home, and the three that were giving a hard time break a bottle on a chain link fence, and they want to call Cameron out, you know, come on, big boy, fight me, blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_04 11:59

Exact words, too, straight from the script. Come on, big boy, come fight me.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

And so, but he he gets attacked and it is self-defense. He has to fight three people, and Trisha runs to get Dale, who is the owner of the bar, and when they come back, um Cameron has killed a man because he popped his nose into his brain when the guy pulled out a knife.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

And then the two that were living took the knife with them and ran away. And then we now we're jumping into the court system because you know you killed someone.

SPEAKER_04 12:41

Yeah. I don't and I don't know how realistic any of this pla none of this is realistic. It's it's con air. But a man ambushed outside of a bar, your only witnesses are going to be drunk people, drunk people, Trish. I'm sorry, Trisha, his wife, maybe the bar owner, because they know they're they know him and they have a history with them. And so then you got two accusers and you got a man that's dead. I don't I mean, uh really is the criminal justice system really that corrupt where they're gonna come down on Cameron Poe in this situation? Maybe. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Well, he had a terrible defense attorney. He said, just plead guilty and you only have to serve four years. And Cameron didn't want to plead guilty because he was self-defense.

SPEAKER_04 13:31

Oh, he set it up as a sweeter deal than that. He said, Plead guilty, you'll get sentenced to four years, and you'll serve maybe a year.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

Yeah, it was awful. And then so then now we're in the court, like in front of the judge, and the judge is like, you have been taught how to kill people because you are like a weapon yourself. And so because of that, you have to go to jail for ten years.

SPEAKER_04 13:59

Right, seven to ten years, which is if I remember correctly, what the defense attorney was trying to use as a scare tactic against pleading not guilty and taking it to trial. I think the defense attorney said if you plead not guilty and this goes to trial and you're found guilty, you're facing seven to ten years anyway. Exactly. So lesson to everyone when you take plea deals, the judge does not have to accept the plea deal or the agreed upon sentence. It is still up to the judge. Especially if you are a trained assassin. I don't think he was a trained assassin. He was an army ranger.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

So we're all sad. And so, like I said earlier, he's in jail now, but uh Trisha has the baby, her name is Casey, and we see over time Cameron is trading letters because he refuses to see them in person because you know that's not him, he's not a criminal, and he's working out the whole time, and we get to see how strong Nicolas Cage is, and we learn that those puffballs are really popular um in wherever he is.

SPEAKER_04 15:08

Trisha sends him care packages. Yes, so there isn't there there definitely is not an instance where Cameron Poe's family has abandoned him. They're sending him care packages. I'm assuming they're putting money on his commissary books, they're writing letters back and forth, obviously. So, yes. He does there is a funny little scene where he takes the little coconut snowball dessert things that she sends him and gives one to it's his cellmate. It's Baby O. Yeah, I don't know if it's his cellmate the whole time, but his prison name, Baby O. And it's a terrible name. And the uh uh they become friends, they become kind uh friends, allies, whatever you want to call it. Besties, besties.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

So, and then next we see that Cameron receives his letter of parole, so he gets to go home, and then I do admit it was really awkward when he's like, I'm going home. Like he is like, calm down there, yeah. It was kind of off, but that's okay. Oh, you mean you I'm sorry, the dialogue of Conair did not live up to your standards in this moment at that one moment, and then you see the two because Baby O is being transferred because they're to another prison while Cameron is riding a bus to where he has to go like get dropped off to go home.

SPEAKER_04 16:34

Right. At this point, I'll point out this idea of Conair, this idea that the US Marshal Service runs a transportation unit to transport prisoners via airplane around the country is in fact a real thing. It it exists, it did serve as an inspiration for the movie itself. So there is some element of truth to this, beyond the fact that when you're sitting there watching this movie and you're going, why are they transporting why are they taking a bunch of prisoners and sticking them in a plane and anything? This is an actual thing on how they transport prisoners around the country, and it is run by the U.S. Marshalls, a division of the U.S. Marshals.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

So we see Babio and Cameron walking via the hallway, and Babio sticks a smiley face sticker on Cameron's box. Foreshadowing. Important for later. Foreshadowing. Dun dun dun. So now we're in the bus. Magic. And uh we have one lady guard, and her name is Bishop, and she's just checking on everybody, making sure they're all there. And Cameron mentions I'm going home. My daughter's you know, my daughter's birthday, and she's like, You have a reason to stay straight now. Yes, ma'am. You know, because he's very respectful of women.

SPEAKER_04 17:59

He's a respectful southern gentleman.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Yes. So now they're at the airport because they gotta get on the plane, and this is where we meet John Cusack. Oh, well, sorry, John Cusack is playing Larkin, who is like the director of the flight.

SPEAKER_04 18:18

He is the representative of the U.S. Marshall Service and he runs the division that is in charge of all of this air transportation of prisoners that I just mentioned.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

Yes, and he is very tressed out, but he's got it going. And while he's making sure everything is peachy, we also meet Malloy and agent Sims, who are from the DEA, and I don't know why they're having a DEA agent on the Con Air airplane, but he's going on secretly.

SPEAKER_04 18:58

So let me break down 15 minutes of plot as to why the DEA is on this plane as an undercover agent. One of the prisoners that is being transported is drug kingpin Francisco.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

Sendino.

SPEAKER_04 19:12

Thank you. So the DEA agent is going undercover to try to strike up a conversation, get him to basically make a jailhouse confession on the plane on this flight to try to get any extra dirt on him. No idea if it's because they don't have a strong case for having him arrested, and maybe he's got a pending trial. Didn't get any of that as I watch the movie. But he goes on board. He's got a tape recorder that's gonna play an important part later that's kind of tucked away on his person.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Like giant tape recorder.

SPEAKER_04 19:48

It is a giant tape recorder, it is it is big, it is like the size of a tablet.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

The roll of ribbon, like getting in there.

SPEAKER_04 19:56

It is not like a little cute little recorder. It's 1997. Why do we have these giant things? Also, of important note, we get a huge argument between Agent Larkin of the U.S. Marshal Service and Agent Malloy of the DEA when Malloy says that his undercover agent is gonna go on the plane with a gun, and Larkin says no, it's like a jail, it's a secure environment, our guards don't have guns. If there's no guns, then the convicts and the prisoners don't have anything to steal to hijack the plane.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

However, there is a small arsenal in the belly of the plane, and in the cockpit, there's one gun.

SPEAKER_04 20:41

Right, which becomes so it's uh it's funny because there's this whole big deal that the gun that is snuck on board by the DEA agent is in fact does not end up being the gun that causes the hijacking. It's the gun in the cockpit that they steal. The arsenal underneath the plane doesn't come into play for much later.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

So while that's happening, Larkin is watching on his video all of the people getting off the bus. And this is where we meet Billy Bedlam, who killed his wife's family and the dog because she was cheating on him. And then we meet Diamond Dog, who is a very popular African-American, like gangster. He's uh leader of the gorillas.

SPEAKER_04 21:34

Like they did call it the gorillas. They did, poorly chosen name, supposed to be kind of a militia group. I would hesitate to draw direct parallels to other or real life organizations like the Black Panthers and things like that, but I kind of for context for the 90s, I think that's the parallel they were trying to draw. I think it's an unfair comparison.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

We meet Cyrus Grissom, who is also known as Cyrus the Virus, and he has multiple degrees. Like he has used the system to improve himself, but he's improved himself for bad.

SPEAKER_04 22:14

He's the stereotypical spend more time in prison than out of prison, the genius criminal that has become institutionalized, and while a genius, also completely crazy, uh played by John Malkovich. I'll also point out Nathan Diamond Dog Jones is played by Ving Rames, also in uh Armageddon.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Yeah, both great. They did great. Uh John and Ving did great. Then we have Pinball, who was played by Dave Chappelle, and the convicts have a plan, and while they're checking all the inmates for contraband, Pinball has something down his throat and breathed in the guard's face, so the guard cannot look farther because he has bad breath. And then we have Cameron, and then Larkin calls him a nobody. So there we go. And then we have Johnny23, he's a rapist, and he has hearts on his arm for every woman he's assaulted. It's awful.

SPEAKER_04 23:17

Yeah. Played by Danny Dreho.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

And then, of course, our undercover agent.

SPEAKER_04 23:22

Right.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

So the plane that they're on is called the jailbird, and they all go on, they are all shackled in the seats or in a cage, and guard fells on, tells them how things are gonna go, and you know, it's his plane, off we go. And guard bishop comes with them. We also learned that Baby O is a diabetic and he's been waiting for his shot. He was supposed to get it on the bus, but they said you'll get it on the plane. And as the plane takes off, the nurse guard takes his happy time wandering up to the front row where Baby O and Cameron are sitting, so that he can give him his insulin. But while that is happening, everybody else has started their plan to break out and cause a riot on the plane. Like Pinball turns his uh seat mate on fire, like he burns him up.

SPEAKER_04 24:22

Right. So what Pinball was hiding down his throat was some kind of small capsule of flammable liquid and a match, and uses that to because they're all in restraints in their seats, douses his next door neighbor in the gasoline, lights him on fire. In the meantime, Cyrus and Diamond Dog have pulled out a pin that they had kind of hidden in the palm of their hand in their skin, used it to pick their locks. They free pinball, the guards free pinball to get them away from the burning inmate, and in and amongst that, he ends up stealing keys, unlocking the cells for people. They rush out, they kill a guard, they attack people.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

All of the medicine has been knocked over, and baby was like, get off my medicine, and nobody's caring. They're just fighting.

SPEAKER_04 25:17

Right, smashing all the insulin bottles, smashing the syringes, and so forth.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

And the agent is like sweating super hard because now that the uh convicts have taken over, they are now letting everybody loose. Oh, I forgot. They took over because they went to the cockpit, Cyrus, and he met the co-pilot who had the gun, you know, to take check on everything, and Cyrus used the co-pilot as like a trigger and shot three people, including the co-pilot. So now he is the co-pilot of the jailbird. So that's how they take over.

SPEAKER_04 26:04

So all the convicts have taken over the plane, they start using the handcuffs and handcuff keys to free the other prisoners, restrain and lock up the guards. As soon as Agent Sims, the undercover DEA agent, gets free. He reveals the gun that he has in his ankle holster and takes Pinball hostage. Cyrus ends up taking hostage, the female guard. There's like this weird little standoff. In the end, Agent Sims gets distracted, gets shot, and now we've got a dead DEA agent.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

And Cameron is starting to pop up as a leader or like a man of straight thinking because he's like, you have you cannot control the situation, and because he couldn't control the situation, that's how the agent got killed. But Cyrus likes Cameron because, you know, all is well now.

SPEAKER_04 27:04

Is it this point that Cyrus reveals the plan, or at least part of the plan, to the rest of the prisoners that they're going to land in Carson City? They're going to offload some prisoners, they're going to take on some additional prisoners, they're basically going to try to continue this bluff that the plane has not been hijacked to then take off from Carson City to the next part of the plan. They've got to offload six and take ten prisoners on. The only problem is three of the prisoners that were supposed to be offloaded and they're expecting to be offloaded in Carson City have been killed. They end up trying to take volunteers as to who's going to voluntarily exit the plane and take the place of these three dead prisoners. Poe ends up volunteering to be one of their replacements. Some of the guards are placed into those positions as well. That means that Cyrus has to start gagging and putting hoods over their faces, and Poe realizes his plan of alerting the authorities as soon as he's off the plane won't go the way he wants to. So then he changes his mind and chooses to stay on the plane because then he can be in a position to help the female guard as well as his buddy Baby O. So he then plants the recording device that was on Agent Sims onto one of the guards. Hopefully, it'll be discovered so that they know that the plane has been hijacked.

SPEAKER_00 28:25

Meanwhile, they are inspecting all of the cells in the Vacaville prison, cleaning them, getting ready for new inmates.

SPEAKER_04 28:35

For no reason. There's absolutely no reason, except I guess that Cyrus Grissom, John Malkovich's character, is such an infamous prisoner that they definitely just want to take note of anything he may have forgotten, left behind, didn't get a chance to grab. But yeah, they're turning over the jail Airbnb so that more prisoners can come.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

And they find that there's a fine powder on the wall, and it falls out, there's a box, there's letters, something in Spanish, so much stuff. And Larkin sees what's happening, and so he runs over and looks at everything that they have, and he realizes something is wrong because there's like a cipher. Larkin puts two and two together and sees that it something is going to happen with the plane in Carson City. So he puts everything down, tells the guards, do not touch anything, and starts running back to control to be able to contact the plane. And of course, a guard sees a box and it says do not open. What do you think he does?

SPEAKER_04 29:50

He opens it.

SPEAKER_00 29:53

Boom!

SPEAKER_04 29:53

Yeah. He opens it like a well-trained correctional officer.

SPEAKER_00 29:58

Like he just said, do not open, and the box says, do not open. So he didn't make it in time, obviously. No. So now we're in Carson City, and it just so happens to be a sandstorm. So even better for the convicts because they're gonna be wearing extra clothing.

SPEAKER_04 30:17

Yeah, they're wearing these windbreakers, they've got their hoods up, they're wearing goggles to protect their eyes to help conceal their identity.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

So on board, the new inmates come and the old inmates, you know, mostly guards, are back on the bus and they are all gagged and bagged, as they say it. So hoods and gags, they're trying to get at their attention, but the bus is like, stop talking, and they keep leaving. So more inmates load the plane, and then oh, we have one more, and this is where we meet Garland Green.

SPEAKER_04 30:54

Right. In a super dramatic fashion. A they kind of call it out as a oh, this is a last-minute transfer, which is absolute bullshit for such a high-profile prisoner because he's got every sort of precaution. He comes up in an armored car, they open up the back and he's restrained in this throne chair. They don't approach him, they use like hooks on sticks to unlock him from the chair and then just kind of hook onto him and drag him around like animal control officers with poles and lassos for an angry dog. This is something that would have been planned out ages in advance, and not just this last-minute thing. And they talk about how terrible this guy is, because again, we have to get the profile of the individual, how he basically he's just a prolific serial killer, and he did a bunch of terrible things after, before he killed the people. So, part of my little headcanon fan theory that ever since I watched Conair, I've never been able to shake this idea. It there's absolutely nothing proving it, it's just in my head. I believe that Garland Green, Steve Buscemi's character, is the same character Steve Buscemi plays in Reservoir Dogs and is Mr. Pink. I believe that, because if you watch Reservoir Dogs, Jackie is trying desperately not to make eye contact because she hasn't seen Reservoir Dogs. At the end of Reservoir Dogs, when they get caught and they get into the shootout, Steve Buscemi's character runs out and you hear shooting, but there's never any follow-up or confirmation whether he's killed, whether he gets away. I like to think in this little fan theory of mine that Mr. Pink is Garland Green. He gets away from the Diamond Heist and Reservoir Dogs. He's already an unhinged character as it is in Reservoir Dogs, so then he just becomes this mass murderer. Maybe he already was, who knows? But he ends up caught, so it's the same character. I'll come back to this theory later.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Sounds interesting. The convicts added the pilot as one of the people to be on the bus, and one of the onboarding inmates, his name is Swamp Thing, and he is the new pilot. And Cyrus has everything planned.

SPEAKER_04 33:21

Also, in and amongst while all of this is going on, Dave Chappelle's character, Pinball, while dressed as a U.S. Marshal in these windbreakers and goggles, he has snuck off. They don't reveal it in the moment for the sake of the podcast and to keep things moving. I will reveal it. We find out that his whole purpose is he sneaks off the plane. He has taken the transponder to the jail plane, and he has implanted it into this smaller airplane to try to throw off the authorities and tracking the plane. And there's a lot of fun one-liners between him and this female airfield worker who it has to be. I don't know what else she does, but there's a lot of flirty one-liners with all of that.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

And didn't you say Dave Chappelle kind of did all of his own uh it was like all straight from his head?

SPEAKER_04 34:14

Improvise.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

Improvise, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:16

Yeah, so some of the actors improvised a lot of their lines, some of the actors had very scripted lines. Dave Chappelle was given a lot of leeway in the movie, and he was able to improvise a lot of his lines. They're super funny.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

So the bus is leaving, they're at a stop sign, and the guards are trying to get the attention of the guards on the bus.

SPEAKER_03 34:43

Right.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

Guard Falzone, he was so mean to the inmates, so we kind of got karma. So the bus guard like elbows him, and out comes the recorder as he falls back into his seat, and they realize, uh oh, these are our people. The convicts have taken over the plane. We need them to, you know, stall them.

SPEAKER_04 35:10

Because they need to, they realize that they need backup. One bus with a couple guards and a couple random agents on the ground are not going to be enough to stop the plane from taking off and retaking the plane. So they tell one of the guards that's on the ground, they radio out to say that the convicts have taken over the plane to stall them because they have to get backup. So he goes up, he starts talking to John Malkovich's character. They don't get very far in the conversation as backup arrives. Cyrus, John Malkovich pulls out his gun, dramatically shoots the guard dead, and now Cyrus, the mastermind of this plan, realizes that the gig is up. Law enforcement has realized that the plane has been compromised.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

And poor Cameron, who put that on the guard, is just like, oh, now what?

SPEAKER_04 36:04

Right. His plan is now, because of course, the plan is always not to allow the prisoners to escape. He's got their attention, but the plane is taken off. And of course, as the plane is taking off, we get a funny little scene where Dave Chappelle's character realizes the plane's taking off. He has to break up flirting with the airport attendant, and we get the little comic scene of him running alongside the plane, looking out the window, is the prisoner that he lit on fire. And he's very pleased that Pinball is now outside, and Pinball is pretty much trying to tell him to stop the plane. The plane doesn't stop. Pinball kind of disappears for a little bit. He'll come back up later.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

Now we're in the air, and Cyrus and Dog are looking at Garland.

SPEAKER_04 36:59

His name's Diamond Dog. Let's use his full Christian name.

SPEAKER_00 37:03

And Diamond Dog is like, what are we gonna do? Cyrus calls, well, this is a national treasure. We have to let him go. So next we see this big, scary dude start to take off all these restraints from Garland Green, who is very tiny and looks scary because of all the headpieces he has, but it's just super funny how he's scared of Garland just to let him go.

SPEAKER_04 37:33

Yeah. So that's my question that we don't get to see addressed tangent because it's still our podcast, Tracks and Tangents. He's in all these restraints and he's put into this cage on the plane. I'm assuming who puts him in the restraints in the plane? Do the U.S. Marshals who are escorting him in the armored car go on the plane to put him into the restraints?

SPEAKER_00 37:57

I think he is loaded up in the restraints, and it's only the sticks that trade like the plane has their own sticks, so he's still in his restraints from the truck.

SPEAKER_04 38:08

So then convicts posing as guards took over and brought him onto the plane and locked him up? They would have had to. That's that's just my that's just my question. It just seems kind of weird to put him into the restraints and then have the conversation about letting him out. But why would you need to keep up the facade of putting him in the restraints on the plane? Couldn't they just because as you see the rest of the prisoners get onto the plane, we even get the fun little comment from one of them who's celebrating going, hey, we've taken over the plane, it's this great, this is awesome. There's no guards on the plane because it's not overheard. So why wouldn't they just take him off from uh the rest why wouldn't they just take him off the restraints to begin with?

SPEAKER_00 38:50

Probably because they're scared out of their mind.

SPEAKER_04 38:53

I guess it just seems like a weird juxtaposition to have to put him into the restraints to then decide to let him out. The only legitimate reason I can see to put him into his restraints and in the cage on the plane is to placate the guards on the ground to keep up the charade that the plane has not been hijacked, but there's no guards on the plane to see that. They're not putting on a show for anyone. I've talked way too long about this tangent. This is not my biggest problem with the movie.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

But it's good. Maybe there's like a little like button you gotta push, and the and the truck says locked in.

SPEAKER_03 39:26

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 39:27

So we're still flying, and Larkin and Malloy are now talking to Cyrus because Cyrus has called them on the radio. He's like, ha ha. And Malloy learns that his agent has died, and Cyrus sings him a lovely lullaby. And Larkin's like, Where are you going? I because Cyrus does not like Malloy because Malloy is being very, very mean and rude. So he will talk to Larkin. And they get no answers from Cyrus, of course.

SPEAKER_04 40:03

So Well, they do a little quid pro quo where Cyrus says, I'll answer one of your questions if you answer one of my questions first. And that's where Cyrus says, How did you know the plane was hijacked?

SPEAKER_00 40:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 40:15

That's where and they're truthful to him. They said one of the guards faked a heart attack. I don't think he faked a heart attack. I think he was just elbowed. He was screaming under his hood and with his gag. But anyway, they disc they confessed to Cyrus that they found the recording device that had been taken off of the dead agent Sims, and that's how they knew the plane had been hijacked. They then asked Cyrus, okay, my turn for a question, where are you going? And Cyrus says, We're going to Disneyland. So instantly showing that Cyrus has no intention of cooperating whatsoever.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

But enter my man Cameron, because he wants to know what the plan is, and he wants to rescue everybody, of course. So he's like, What's the plan? I will be your friend. And on the ground, Larkin is like, wait, Poe's not a nobody. He's a parolee hitching the ride home. We can use him. And yeah, now he has to change his thoughts on Cameron.

SPEAKER_04 41:14

Right. He comes to the realization that why is Cameron Poe so intent to stay on the plane and continue on with wherever the plane is going. When he's on parole, he recognizes that Cameron probably would have had the opportunity to volunteer to get off the plane, and he would have then been cleared or whatever, and still released and on parole. So it doesn't make any sense. He starts to put two and two together that Cameron Poe is now a rogue agent who is on the plane for hopefully good intentions that can help end the situation.

SPEAKER_00 41:51

And to push it further, he tries to tell Malloy, any one of us could have been in this situation. He was defending his wife in a bar brawl, and it was mount manslaughter. And of course Malloy's like, F that. But you know, he's trying to convince him he's good. And Malloy is like, F all this, shoot the plane down. So he orders all these choppers with guns, and he's gonna go in there and follow the transponder and shoot him down because they're over a desert, so they won't uh human casualties will be few.

SPEAKER_04 42:27

Right. According to the transponder signal, the transponder is over the desert. I think it's a grand I think the plane that they end up finding it on is doing like a tour of the Grand Canyon or something.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Yeah, it's for the old ladies. And Swamp Thing though tells them, hey, we are going way too slow. We're a dragon. Somebody needs to go fix the landing gear. Because they're doing a rendezvous with that fancy convict we talked about earlier, Sandino. He has his own plane. He's he and Cyrus have a plan after this.

SPEAKER_04 43:02

Right. This is where the whole uh 99% of the plan is revealed. The whole purpose behind all of this is Saldino's connections as a drug lord. They're going to meet them at another airfield, they're gonna get off the plane, they're all gonna load up onto a private plane that's untrackable, they're gonna make a lot of money helping him escape, and they're gonna take them to a country far, far away where they won't be extradited back to the United States, and they get to live out their lives in paradise. Spoiler, no.

SPEAKER_00 43:40

Too good to be true. So Cyrus tells Diamond Dog, we gotta go check it. And then, of course, Diamond Dog relays that same message to Cameron that you get to go check the landing gear, and then Cameron's like, Oh, I'll get to see stuff like trees and shit.

SPEAKER_04 43:58

Yeah, flying below. So Diamond Dog and Cameron go down to the belly of the plane to investigate the landing gear, and it's discovered that Pinball is dead in the landing gear tangled up, and that's why the landing gear can't fully be retracted into the plane. We last saw pinball running alongside the plane, so at the last minute before the plane took off, he must have jumped into the landing gear. I don't really know how he died, because if the landing gear is still partially down and the belly of the plane is exposed to the outer atmosphere, I mean I guess he got stuck in just exposure, but he's not really hanging outside the plane. He's just kind of stuck in the landing gear.

SPEAKER_00 44:44

So I thought he got run over by the tires and he was like sucked up and in the metal and stuff.

SPEAKER_04 44:52

So he didn't die from exposure from being partially outside the plane because then they all would be dead down in the belly of the plane. You think he got run over and tangled up and crushed.

SPEAKER_00 45:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 45:03

Okay, I'll I'll go with that. You don't physically see that.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

No, you just see him go, whoa.

SPEAKER_04 45:09

Yeah, but you uh you definitely see a dead Dave Chappelle at this point.

SPEAKER_00 45:13

So Dog is working on the gears, and Cameron has a great idea to write a note to Larkin on Pinball's white t-shirt.

SPEAKER_04 45:24

Right. Specifically, I don't think Diamond Dog is working on the gears. I think he leaves that to Poe. I think Diamond Dog discovers all of their personal effects and starts going through the boxes just for shits and giggles, which is allows Cameron Poe the opportunity to write the message on Pinball's shirt and then free him from the landing gear, shove him out the hole for the landing gear, and the landing gear can then be raised up.

SPEAKER_00 45:52

And then we have a lovely happy music, and the this old couple just got their car washed, and a bird drive flies by and leaves a mess.

SPEAKER_04 46:04

Shits all over the windshield.

SPEAKER_00 46:06

And the wife goes, Oh, that must be good luck. And then next thing we know, a pinball lands on their car.

SPEAKER_04 46:13

That's right. Did you recognize you recognize the driver of the vehicle? No, he was the commander from SG1.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

That was a long time ago. I've been watching them on a Star Trek.

SPEAKER_04 46:23

Yeah. So we watched a lot of Stargate SG1 uh for test episodes to prepare for the uh recording the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 46:30

That's really cool though. Yep. So people in Fresno call Larkin's department and they're like, yo, dude, we got a body with your name all over it.

SPEAKER_04 46:42

Right, because what does the message say? Uh that they're going to Lerner Airfield. Right. Uh because Cyrus has revealed that plan to everyone, so that's how Agent Larkin knows where the plane is going, which is completely different than the trajectory of where the transponder is.

SPEAKER_00 47:00

Well, he's also used that as kind of like a he does triangulate on a map. We see him use science and math, and to make sure that they're in the right area, because uh Malloy and crew are going to shoot down the transponder that they have yet to figure out is in a very tiny biplane. Right. So Larkin needs to get to Learner Airfield, and there are no planes available, his car is old, and the the one of the pilots goes, Well, if you have a fast car, you can go. And Malloy is really, really rude and mean, and he's not there to say no or yes. So Larkin uses Malloy's fancy convertible and hightails it to Lerner Airfield. On the plane, we have an incident between Billy and Cameron. Billy is like, you said you were on whatever block, and I was on that block and I didn't see you. So Cameron has to quickly think of about I didn't care who I met, I cared about myself. And then so Billy is thinking about Cameron and why he something's off this whole time. So keep that going in your head. Billy goes underneath the plane where all those boxes are being are being held, you know, their personal stuff. Cameron follows him because, you know, Billy's gonna go snoop and figure out that Cameron is actually on parole.

SPEAKER_04 48:34

Right. He finds paperwork in Cameron Poe's box of personal possessions that gives him that detail. We know they're looking through Cameron Poe's box because we see the smiley face that Billy O put on the box from earlier in the movie.

SPEAKER_00 48:49

Billy is holding a bunny and Cameron goes, put the bunny back in the box.

SPEAKER_04 48:54

Right. The probably famous scene, the probably the most quoted line from the movie, probably the line that Jackie spews at me multiple times throughout the week. Why couldn't you put the bunny back in the box? And of course, the significance of the bunny is Cameron had bought it, I assume from Prison Commissary, as kind of I would uh again, I don't know, I don't think you're buying stuffed rabbits to sleep with in prison, but commissary being able to buy a gift so that if your kid was coming to see you, but they give it to him anyway. He's bringing the bunny as a present to give his daughter when he meets her.

SPEAKER_00 49:33

Yes. Well, because they I mean baby O's like, well, you could have gotten me some mouthwash, that would be great, but yeah. Two uh two different things. And the bunny is special, special, special, special. It's her birthday. So they're fighting, and a pipe is broken, Billy lands on the pipe, and no more Billy.

SPEAKER_04 49:55

Yep, Billy is left dead in the belly of the plane.

SPEAKER_00 50:00

So Cameron returns to his seat, and Garland has been spewing therapy talk this whole time, and he's all like, two go down, one comes up, and I mean Garland is crazy, but he's spewing all this stuff about people's brains. Larkin has been able to arrive at Lerner Airfield before the plane. Must have been a fast car. Super fast. And there's like nobody around. Uh one person sh should be in the like control tower because we see a little biplane coming in to land. And when Larkin goes up there to find out what's happening, somebody has killed that man. So the bioplane is coming in, but there's dead person. He goes back down and looks for more people, can't find anything. Then we go to another shot where the jailbird is coming into land, and the bioplane is coming, they're like coming in facing each other, and the poor little plane has to get out of the way, and the pilot jumps out. The jailbird cannot land properly because the plane that little plane got in the way, so they run into like a they make a hole of dirt.

SPEAKER_04 51:26

Yeah, I don't understand the physics behind that. I mean, I guess I guess they run off the runway and they run into the sandy soil and the the sand off the side of the runway, and that's what they embed themselves into because they're trying to avoid the little plane, but okay.

SPEAKER_00 51:44

Like runaway truck stop.

SPEAKER_04 51:46

Yeah, pretty much. I mean, that's like uh we live in California, so coming down the Sierra Nevadas from Nevada, you see all those runaway truck stations with the loose gravel and the huge uh berms of dirt to stop the truck. That's kind of what it felt like they ran into, but why they don't have that stuff set up at the airport. And this is the part of the movie where everything starts to run off the rails and really start to fall apart for me.

SPEAKER_00 52:14

Well, there's a lot going on because we have Sandino's plane sitting and waiting for him to go there and be taken without anybody else. Right. And it's I think we'll point out it's a tiny plane.

SPEAKER_04 52:29

Yes. It is not big enough to hold the what would you say, 30, 35 inmates on the plane. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 52:40

Like not even Cyrus, Sandino, and the pilot, plus the two other people that were there by the plane.

SPEAKER_04 52:46

Right. Uh yeah, so it's not big enough to take all the prisoners like Cyrus has been promising. I think Cyrus knew that going into it. Yes. But more importantly, it is not big enough to take the core team that Cyrus was counting on, I believe. So Cyrus is also being betrayed by the drug kingpin and the drug traffickers.

SPEAKER_00 53:10

And Cameron finds this plane, and Sandino's men try to shoot him, but of course, Cameron is able to fight them off, and Larkin is there and helps Cameron. Now they are both holding guns pointed at each other, and Larkin's like, I'll lower mine, you lower yours. Sorry, dude. Only two people I trust, myself and the other one ain't you. So they discuss like what are you trying to do? And Cameron doesn't really give any answer besides I can't leave a fallen man behind. Because he's look while he's running around, he's looking for a syringe to be able to give Babio his insulin.

SPEAKER_04 53:54

Yeah, he's hope I okay, I guess he's hoping to find a first aid kit that just happens to have a syringe in it.

SPEAKER_00 54:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 54:02

Because this is not a this is not a modern airport. This is definitely uh a run-down airport slash junkyard.

SPEAKER_00 54:11

Well, they do call it the boneyard.

SPEAKER_04 54:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:13

So he Cameron's been running around looking for the syringe, and then we see that the Marshalls are in the horizon, they're about 10 minutes away. So much is happening all at one time. Uh Diamond Dog has lined up three of the guards, and he keeps calling them piggies that you know he needs to take solder them.

SPEAKER_04 54:38

Yeah, he's now getting off script from the plan of escaping, and now he's just trying to fulfill his own little manifesto agenda. And so him being a quote unquote freedom fighter, let's call him that. Yeah. That's the nicest way to do it. Um, now he's gonna fight back against the establishment and he wants to execute the guards. But Cameron Poe doesn't want him to, because of course Cameron Poe wants to stand up for the innocent. He says, You shouldn't kill the guards. We don't un until we can find the drug smugglers who are gonna take us away. We don't really know how the plan's gonna unfold. We might need leverage. Cyrus happens to agree with Cameron Poe in the moment and saves the guards.

SPEAKER_00 55:24

And we get a cute little winky wink wink from Cameron Poe.

SPEAKER_03 55:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 55:30

So now we need to dig out the plane and pull it out. So I don't know how all these men are going to pull this giant plane out of the earth, but I really like the video how you know all they see all these chains rocking to and from all the rope. That was cool.

SPEAKER_04 55:48

Yeah, I d f the physics don't line up. Is the landing gear even down? Did we see it had to have been down, I guess. So the landing gear is down, undamaged, but it is pretty much a I mean, one half of the plane is buried up to the belly, and they're just going to pull it out of the sand, this multi-ton plane. They're very strong men. Is okay.

SPEAKER_00 56:14

So all of this is happening is like crazy, and then Garland Green is just wandering away, walking, and uh-oh, what is he going to do? Because we see him grab a doll by its throat and move it, and he takes the doll's place in front of a little girl playing with her Barbies.

SPEAKER_04 56:35

Right, having a little tea party, they're doing it in an empty pool at the most washed-up trailer park uh that you can imagine, so where society is forgotten. She's so cute though. She yeah, yeah. She's making the best of it, but yeah, they have their little uh they have their little tea time.

SPEAKER_00 56:58

And she asks him if he can sing. He's got the whole wide world in his hands.

SPEAKER_04 57:03

Right. The whole time, very tense, very dramatic music.

SPEAKER_00 57:08

Yeah, because they think Carlin's gonna hurt her.

SPEAKER_04 57:10

Very much painting the picture that this psychopath who has killed multiple people and women, children, everything, done horrible things. He wore that girl's head as a hat. For three states, apparently.

SPEAKER_01 57:26

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 57:26

So yeah, definitely implying that this little girl is not safe.

SPEAKER_00 57:30

And of course, she giggles. But now we go back to the plane, and the marshals are getting closer. They find the bone yard, and this is where Cyrus teaches them what they're gonna do. The plane is on one side, the boneyards on the other. They're gonna use the propane tanks and just let the gas out because they've also found the rifles and all the guns in the plane. So once the marshals get into the boneyard hallway, they're going to shoot and blow them up so that they're stuck inside, and then they'll all just be like shooting fish in a barrel.

SPEAKER_04 58:11

Yep. Complete ambush so that they can f finish digging out the plane and take off with a little more breathing room. They won't have the agents breathing down their neck or able to stop them. So, yes, they they set up an ambush to to wipe out the responding DEA agents.

SPEAKER_00 58:30

Now, Sandino has gone to his plane and they have started to leave Sandino and his people. Not Cyrus, not anybody, just Sandino and his people. Right, the betrayal. Larkin is able to like hit the plane somehow with a crane and takes off the top of the plane. So now the plane is just going willy-nilly into a gas tank, and there's fire. Sandino's like, oh Cyrus, I was coming to get you. I'm so sorry. You know, you missed it. And Cyrus just takes Swamp Things cigarette and blows up the plane that Sandino's in.

SPEAKER_04 59:13

Right. So now they're on their own, now they're improvising, now they are completely off script to find another way to make a getaway, which of course they decide to use the jailbird.

SPEAKER_00 59:26

Cameron is able to find a syringe in an old first aid kit in the boneyard, and he is able to get the insulin to baby, but to get there first, he has to get in an old cop car and race around all the action going on in the marshals and all that craziness. There's like three action parties going on at the same time.

SPEAKER_04 59:56

Yeah, with just tons of jump cuts between the scenes. It's just it's impossible to follow.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:04

So that's what I'm gonna say on the Cameron line at the moment. So Cameron back on the plane, gives Baby O Zencillin, but while he's been trying to get there, Johnny is like F digging out the plane. I gotta go talk to Guard Bishop because you know I need to be Johnny24. And Cameron is able to get there in time and grab Johnny and tell him we don't treat women that way, as he's pounding his head into the wall. Love it. And then he frees Guard Bishop and uses her handcuffs to handcuff Johnny to the same wall that she was just at, and then she, you know, kicks him in the belly. So now we're back into the marshals, and Larkin has found like an old snow plow, and he got it to work, and he's telling all of his men, get behind me, hide behind this, you know, like weird plow thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:04

Yeah, I don't think it's a snow plow in the middle of the desert.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:07

I I mean it has this weird plow thing in the front.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:10

I think it's just a bulldozer.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:11

Oh, that makes sense. So get behind this bulldozer bucket, and he's able to get what's left of the marshals to safety. So off they go. And the plane has now finally been free of the hole somehow, but uh-oh, someone tied it to a cement pillar.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:32

I wonder who that could have been.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:34

So as they're flying away, we see the little girl running, and she's like, bye-bye, Bob, bye-bye. And so we're so glad that Garland didn't kill her, but he did take his Barbie. So that's kind of weird.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:49

Well, let's just pretend the little girl gave it to him as a parting gift.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:54

Bob. Very clearly, the the little girl is fine, she is unharmed physically, she seems to be in good spirits. It's to be, I think, an actual reveal to the audience that Garland Green did not live up to his past, did not act out any impulses, and did not do anything harmful to this little girl. Important for my headcanon plot, we'll get to in a bit.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:19

So we are in the air and we are free of the cement pillar, but there's a hook on the rope, and uh-oh, it attached itself to the fancy car that Larkin used to get there. So they're dragging the car, and sadly, the three, Cameron, Babio, and Guard Bishop did not make it off the plane in time. And then I love it because Cameron goes looking at the car flying in the air. On any other day, this would be strange.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:54

Right. This is also one of the I think this is the scene where they're as they're celebrating the fact that the plane took off. If I'm not mistaken, it's not from earlier. It's this scene where they're playing Sweet Home Alabama, yes, and they're all dancing to it, and Garland Green has I don't know if it's my favorite line, but it's one of my favorite lines where Garland Green says, Define irony, a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash. It's great. Because of course Leonard Skinner died in 1977 on a plane.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:28

So now the plane is in the air. We're on our way to wherever Conner is going.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:36

We don't know yet.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:37

No, no, no. You tell me where you think they're going, because at this point they don't have a pl they have no plan. There's no plan. The plan never was to get the bird, the jailbird, back up into the air to escape. The plan was they all were gonna get on a new plane and go to Colombia. Colombia. So I think there's if I'm not mistaken, there's like a one-off line mention at some point in and amongst all this dialogue that the new plan is just get to Mexico.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:07

That sounds like a good plan.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:09

So off we go, and Cyrus is mad. What happened? Someone notified the guards, someone tied my plane up, someone killed Billy. Who is this traitor? And of course, he holds the bunny. Tell me, or the bunny gets it. Yeah. And Cameron's like trying to, you know, he's gonna go forward, and Baby O is like, it was me.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:35

Yes, the diabetic who's been half dead the entire movie.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:39

And then he's like, It was me, and he calls him a bad name, and Cyrus shoots him. It's like, what more can happen to Cameron's friends?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:48

Yeah, because that was I would say half of the reason he stayed on the plane in the first place was to save Baby O.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:54

Yeah. And so he's like, You can't go anywhere, you gotta stay. And he has guard bishop, you know, hold pressure, and we're gonna fix this. So now it's sad though, because Baby O is like, I'm so close to getting home, and things never go right for me. And then he makes a comment how he doesn't think that there's a god, and this gives Cameron like some kind of superpower because he's like, I'm gonna show you there is a god, and then we see Cameron go forward to the cockpit fighting all these people, bang bang, you know, uppercuts, all kinds of punches and kicks. Right, and then gets a Cyrus, and Cyrus shoots at him and big hullabaloo. And he gets to the cockpit though, because he's been able to knock Cyrus out, and he's like, You need to land this plane, I'm the captain. And he calls to Larkin, do not shoot, because while all that is happening. Malloy, who found out that the trans transponder was at the Grand Canyon. On the little biplane, tour plane, tourist plane. So he had to come back to the jailbird and he's gonna shoot it down. And Larkin doesn't want it to be shot because Cameron will save them. Lot of pressure on Cameron. So finally Cameron's able to get there and says, Don't shoot us down, we're gonna land. And it happened to be over Las Vegas. Yes. And oh just go to the airfield, to the airfield, like the strip over there, and swamp things like we ain't going to the airport, we're going to the strip.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:43

Yeah. I mean anyone who's never been to Vegas, they're not that far apart.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:49

And down they go, taking out everything in sight, including the poor white Corvette that someone had parked illegally.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:59

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:00

And you think the movie's over now?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:03

Oh boy, do I wish the movie was over. I I I mean I say that as a joke, but in reality, this this final sequence, I think, is putting a hat on a hat. I think it I think the movie would have been just fine cutting out this final sequence and having the authorities swoop in, give us a big dramatic gunfight on the strip, but boy, do they just drag this out.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:31

And more family time with him meeting Casey and being with Trisha.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:36

Yes, I'm not refer- I'm not saying that that should have been cut out.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:40

No, I agree that uh that would that would have been good in your version.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:44

Yeah, but no, that's not what we get.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:48

Because Cyrus pops out from under the plane and runs away. Cameron sees this because Cyrus is on top of a ladder truck from the fire station, and he says Cyrus, where Larkin says Grissom, and they both jump on these motorcycles that are police motorcycles. I don't know where the police officers are, but they both look at each other and then they off they go to get Cyrus. And then we have a huge fight scene, and Cameron his shoulder got hurt in the cart in the plane crash when the plane went down, so he has to do the ladder monkey bars with only one arm and fight Cyrus with again one arm. So strong. And Larkin is on the roof of the truck trying to get swamping to stop the ladder truck. So they're both doing one thing on this fire truck. Finally, they get that to crash, and Cyrus kind of goes down this rock gully and is killed by a rock slamming his head.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:02

Right. Again, all could have been cut out. And they again to revisit it, they because they set it up. The plane crashes, they start to pull the bodies out, they start to kind of wrap up the scene.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:16

Yeah, you see Larkin counting convicts.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:18

Yeah, you see him counting convicts, so it's not like the plane crash and then they immediately pop out of the plane, jump in the truck, and the action continues. There's like a lull, and then they jump in the fire truck, and then we get this chase, and then they end up dying, and it's just one. And Baby O went to the hospital. Baby O went to the hospital. They do all of that before they pop them into this fire truck for this one last little action scene to kill off the remaining three characters. I mean, I guess it serves that purpose. We get a fun little action scene to wrap up and take care of three of the main characters, the main villains, um, rather than just either having them arrested or show them dead like we see Danny Trejo's character. Fine, wasted.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:04

So then we see the bunny go down a stream of water down into the little holes in the cement when it's going down the drain, and he grabs the bunny right before it gets out of reach.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:17

Yep, dramatic bunny moment, more dramatic than the fire truck scene, I think.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:22

And he goes over to Trisha and Casey, and so uh he is covered in dirt and grossness, and he has a mullet. He he does not look cute, and he's like, Hey humming bird, and she's like, Hi. And he tries to give Casey the bunny, and he's like, it's kind of dirty, and wipes it on his already dirty shirt. And Casey's, you know, shy. And then they have this cute little chat about how they they each have a picture of each other, and she takes the bunny and gives him a hug, and his he's like, Oh my gosh, I'm so happy.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:00

Yeah, he's like, Hug the bunny.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:02

That bunny cost me six packs of cigarettes, and then Trisha hugs him, and yay, they're all back together. And then Larkin says, you know, I'm glad you're safe, glad you're home. And then Cameron's like, hey Larkin, there are now three men I trust. Oh, how sweet. He trusts car he trusts Larkin. So that ends. And then we go into a casino, and there's a new bitter. New bitter. That the bitter feeling lucky, and yes, he does because it's Garland Green with someone's jacket on.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:40

Right. No idea how he gets there. Um, I think it's a fun way to end the movie with I thought it was yeah, adorable. So, which rounds out my headcanon. Yes, I'm gonna inject it at the very end of the movie and be a little selfish. So, Garland Green is Mr. Pink and Reservoir Dogs, gets away from the shootout in Reservoir Dogs, becomes Garland Green, goes on the killing spree, or continues the killing spree, gets caught. We have the events of Conair. He ends up escaping, he's at the casino. Now, in my mind, it continues. He wins a bunch of money. His interaction with the little girl in the swimming pool at the tea party has somehow flipped something in his brain, and he no longer has these urges or desires to kill, he no longer wants to be a criminal, he takes his winnings, and then he retires into an obscure lifestyle, and we never see Garland Green again until the 2001 Black comedy Ghost World, where he has taken on his new pseudonym Seymour, and we get the events of Ghost World. I just feel when I saw he's been in three movies. I think the same I think in my fun head canon, he that character is all three characters, it's the same thing. He gets his money in in Vegas, he ends up slipping away, he retires, he buys a house, his interaction with the little girl has changed his mind, so he's still completely socially awkward, but he's no longer a murderer, he's no longer a serial killer. If you have you seen Ghost World?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:19

No.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:20

Okay, so I won't get into the plot for Ghost World. I doubt we'll do it on the podcast, but Steve Buscemi's character in Ghost World, Seymour, is extremely awkward. The reason why this whole thing came to my mind is if you look at Garland Green's actions and mannerisms, and then you look at Seymour in Ghost World, Bosch Steve Buscemi's character, they're so close to being identical. His awkwardness, his little one-liners, his little philosophical um spouts of wisdom that are nonsense. They're so similar. I just think they're the same character. But that rounds out my head canon for the character arc of Garland Green. Sounds good to me. Jackie's just staring at me, going, How did you hijack Con Air? No, I I I'm all good. So but that's the movie. That's the whole thing. That's 90s action at its best.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:16

Well, can't Cameron did say he wanted to get a haircut and he's sorry about that.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:20

Yeah, so and uh he does so. Is that your only fault with the movie? Is that he doesn't look good at the end?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:28

No, not at all.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:29

We covered it briefly in the beginning for your initial thoughts and impressions. Round out again, Jackie. Why is this the best Nicolas Cage movie that he's made to date?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:41

I just really liked this one. I mean, this was the first Nicolas Cage movie that I saw. This is also the first one that like I don't really lit watch action-ish movies, and this is also the first one, and I just liked how he did everything, and plus I kinda adore that little wink smile uh at the end to Diamond Dog. Or the when he's like loving the air as he gets off the bus.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:12

He and I mean Nicolas Cage is very handsome in this movie.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:15

Okay. Give us a ranking as a movie as a whole, not as the Nicolas Cage movie. Don't rank it compared to a Nicolas Cage movie. Movies overall, zero to ten, ten being the best movie ever made, zero being the worst movie ever made. What do you give Conair? I would probably give it a solid eight. Solid eight. Okay. Wow. So I loved it. I I think it's again, it's it's a 90s action movie. It's entertaining. It's entertaining because of the cast of characters, and it's entertaining because of the one liner dialogue moments.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:52

I mean, he says someone says something is like you're ugly all day. I mean, come on. Just so cute little things.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:59

Go watch the movie for sure if you haven't seen Conair. Hopefully, you enjoy it. I will give it a seven out of ten. I again, it's it's it's a it's and it's an entertaining watch. If it's your first time watching it, absolutely. I found it entertaining because it's been a while since I've watched it. And it's gonna be a while before I watch it again. So, really quickly, I have some fun facts. Uh, I guess we'll call them triple tidbits for our April Fools episode. Uh, why do we call them why do we call our fun facts triple tidbits, Jackie? Because they're the best. Triple triple triple. So there's of course lots and lots and lots of trivia facts about this movie, lots of different things. I just kind of pulled what I could from IMDB and a couple other sources. So it released in June of 1997. This is the same month that the Nicolas Cage movie Face Off is released. We mentioned that early in the episode. It literally overlapped each other in filming. Con Air ran about three weeks behind filming, which put it directly into the start of the scheduled filming for FaceOff. And so they both entered into post-production very soon after each other, and they both were released in the same month. So, in the same month, in the summer of 1997, you had two Nicolas Cage blockbusters in the theaters.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:22

I was very happy.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:23

The role of Cameron Poe was originally offered to Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell, and both of them declined the role because they hated the script.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:36

Well, they couldn't give the one-liners as great as my man.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:39

No, I think they would have been. I don't think the movie would be the same, of course. The U.S. Marshals, I mentioned, is the law enforcement agency that actually runs the real life program where they transport prisoners by plane all across the country. They do a lot of other things as well. But the division of the U.S. Marshals that does that, and the U.S. Marshals in themselves wanted absolutely nothing to do with this movie. They did not want to act as advisors, they did not want to be consulted for it. They completely took themselves away from that and wanted to stay as far away from this movie as possible. John Malkovich at the same time was being offered the lead role in Air Force One instead of Harrison Ford. And he turned down Air Force One so he could be in Con Air. Great choice. The success of Con Air had subsequently changed John Malkovich's profile in Hollywood. He had always been typecasted as a highly intelligent seducer and romantic uh character. And after Conair, he now was transformed and typecasted as still an incredibly intelligent character, but for criminal roles. So he switched typecasting. He ended up and he was happy for the change for a while, but then he got tired of those roles as well, and he started gravitating more toward European projects and taking on a variety of roles that way to try to get out of this typecast and not just play the same type of character, unlike Nicolas Cage, who plays the same character and everything. Staying with John Malkovich for a minute in the press release and lead up to the release of this film for the press tours, he was asked, John Malkovich was asked, why did you do this film? And he gave one word answer, money. Whoa. Later in 2007, so we're talking 10 years after the release of Conair, he was on the Graham Norton show with Samuel L. Jackson. They were conversing back and forth, and it was pointed out to them that Samuel L. Jackson and John Malkovich had never done a movie together up until this point. And Samuel L. Jackson was the first to respond, and he said, Well, of course we've never done any movies together. I, Samuel L. Jackson, don't do serious movies, and John Malkovich is a serious actor, so we just don't run in the same circles. And John Malkovich was very quick to respond and said, No, no, I was in Conair. If that's serious, I'm an astronaut.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:17

So oh my gosh. Here I was going, Good job, John Malkovich, and now he does that.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:23

Oh, he loved the movie. I think ultimately he ends up liking the movie. I th it it was more of just a funny little moment of no, no, no, I'm not a completely serious actor. I don't just do serious work. I was in Conair. That was not a serious movie. I think we all can agree it wasn't a serious movie. He I mean, he delivered those lines perfectly, though. Uh, the song How Do I Live that we talked about earlier was nominated for both an Oscar as best original song and a Razzie as the worst original song. The Razzies, of course, are the exact opposite of Oscars. They are awards for the worst of the worst. So it did not win either the Oscar or the Razzie. No, but it did well in the Western, in the country world. It did. And then my last little fun fact: the actual airplane that was used as the jailbird in the movie, uh, after the movie filmed, had a series of owners because it was a functional airplane and it was put to use afterwards. It was its final owner was a company called All West Freight Incorporated. Um, it was sold to them in December of 2003, and they are located in Delta Junction, Alaska. Or they were because on August 1st of 2010, the jailbird plane crashed into Mount Healy and it killed all three of the crew.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:50

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:51

And one of the crew was, of course, the owner of All West Freight Incorporated. So that's sad. And that's how we'll end our fun facts. So we'll round out the episode since it is a Nicolas Cage movie and Jackie loves Nicolas Cage. Let's flip it on its head. Jackie, same question, but in the peak of Nicolas's Cage filmography and his movies in the action in the 90s and everything. So his peak, what is probably going to be the worst Nicolas Cage movie that you can imagine?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:27

People won't like this, but I didn't like National Treasure.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:31

You didn't like National Treasure. Why not?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:33

I just it didn't like appeal to me. I thought they were trying to be like copying others. It's like they were trying to be Indiana Jones in a way. I don't know. It just it didn't work for me.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:45

Okay. I would say that the I like the first National Treasure movie.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:48

I think some of the I liked it better than the last the next one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:51

Yeah, for sure. So um for me, the worst Nicolas Cage movie from the height of his career, I have never liked the movie Snake Eyes.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:00

I don't Oh no, I love that one.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:02

I don't I don't I don't like Snake Eyes, I don't care for it. I think the casting for it was all wrong. I think the plot was extremely muddled. So I don't know. I think we might just have to flip a coin the next time we decide to do a bonus episode like this and pick a new Nicolas Cage movie.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:19

That'd be great. We can watch It Could Happen to You.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:22

No, we're not watching It Could Happen to You. We're not turning this into that kind of a podcast. So thank you everyone for joining us for this April Fools episode. Thank you to the fan who suggested that we do an April Fool's episode. I don't know that we'll wait an entire year for the next April Fools to do this again. We'll see how well this went. Comment below. Tell us what you thought of this bonus episode. Maybe we'll start doing some bonus episodes where we get into some other media other than Star Trek, where we do some movies or we do maybe we do a little tangent project over on our Patreon for a different television series. So not quite sure. Let us know what you think. Let us know suggestions on what you'd like to see us cover next. Maybe we don't do a Nicolas Cage movie. Maybe we do. We'll have to see. But if you want to support our podcast directly, all the links to the podcast social media, the host social media can be found in the episode description. Thank you again, everyone, for your support and tuning into this special bonus episode this week. We hope you had fun like we did, and we will see you all next week.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:34

Be sure to put that bunny in the box.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:37

End transmission.