A Friend’s Eye View Ft. Tay

My first guest of the season!! Tay is finally on the pod, y’all and this one feels special. 

I’m introducing you to one of my closest friends turned family, Taylor. We met on Bumble BFF back in August 2023, swiped right, and somehow built a sisterhood that has carried us through some of the most transformative seasons of our lives.

In this episode, we cover a lot, and the gems drop naturally.
From meeting on an app and choosing each other as friends, to witnessing each other’s evolution in real time. From Taylor going from girlfriend to fiancée to a whole wife in May, to my own journey from grief to healing and rebuilding my life with intention.

We talk about what it’s like to have a friend who has seen you at your lowest, the discomfort of loving someone from the sidelines, and the beauty of growing your faith together. This is a conversation about community, sisterhood, and the truth that you really do need people.

If you’ve ever questioned the power of friendship, this episode is your reminder.
It’s real, raw, honest and full of heart.

This Is Where I Landed with Shayla
I’m in my bold, soft, God‑led becoming era — and I hope this episode reminded you that you’re allowed to take up space too. Step into your power, step into your softness, and choose the version of you that feels aligned, peaceful, and undeniable.

I want to hear from you, email me landedpod@gmail.com

Let’s connect on IG, TikTok and FB: @landedpod

Remember, you are that guy, you are that girl, you are whomever you choose to be. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Hello, hello. This is so happy to have you here. This is your first hand with me. Well, hello. Hi, welcome. And if you're with Hamlin, or welcome to you for a little minute at always. Hello, babe. I have a special guest with me today. You guys have heard about her for a hot little minute. She is not only my one of my closest friends. Okay, I love her. I adore her. I'm so grateful and thankful for her. But she is also my social media manager. Okay. You guys have heard about her this season on the pod. And in seasons one and two. Um, but ladies and gentlemen, welcome with me to the pod for the very first time. Taylor is here. Hello everyone. Thanks for having me. Taylor is very nervous, but it's okay. We will get her out of this nervousness. Everyone that comes on the pod is nervous. I think it's because obviously they know that you on the opposite side of the audio should be able to hear them and listen to them. And it is a little nerve-wrecking to do it for the first time, but I told her she's here with me in a very safe space. The pod is a safe space, and you guys are safe people. So yeah. Taylor, how does it feel to be on the pod?

SPEAKER_01 1:24

It feels good. I am nervous, but we have Marley here, which Shay has talked about Marley before. That's my dog. And he has a calming presence to him, so it is helping to have him here with us.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Yeah, we made sure that Marley was here. I love Marley. Marley is like the sweetest little thing, and every time I come into Taylor's house, he always greets me, and he's now staring at me. We're looking into each other's eyes, and he's just the sweetest little thing. So Marley is here to give us the all the good vibes. All the good vibes. So I wanted Taylor to come on the pod for a hot little minute, and the timing really just I mean, it's really always the timing. Okay, it's really always the timing. But she's here now, and yesterday we had our hangout. I came over, we went to the pool. We were at the pool for a long time. Like four hours, five hours.

unknown 2:17

Very long time.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

And I need to stay out of the sun. I think I've already said this because I love the sun and the sun loves me, but like it's only March. But we were out there listening to music by being reading. What are you reading?

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Right now, I am reading. I can't remember the name. Sweet Heat. You got me old days. Sweet Heat. And it's really good. It's not like a typical romance story that I usually read. So I'm excited. It's more like up to date with the times uh in the present day. And yeah, a casual romance uh leading back to a college love. So it's been pretty good so far. Um, what are you reading?

SPEAKER_00 3:05

I am reading Can't Let You Go. I actually remember the title today. Good job, me, okay, because last time I talked about it, I could not remember the name. Um, and yeah, it's getting really good. I could not have thought that this book was gonna be what this book was about from like the author's notes and like the just what I read. Um, but it's really, really good. So I'm hopeful, fingers crossed, I can finish it by like next weekend. We'll see. I have like 150 plus pages to go. But it's possible if I just sit my little booty down and read the book. So as I have said before, if you are not reading, I'm side-eyeing you because there are so many different things that you can be reading. Reading is fundamental and reading is also fun. So find yourself a book, find yourself a library. There's if you don't want to buy books, you can go to the library. Taylor is an avid library, uh I don't know what it's called, visitor.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Yes, shout out to all libraries. I talk to anyone and everyone about them. They have so many resources, especially in Las Vegas. If you ever are in Las Vegas, even just visiting, take a look at the libraries. They recently built a new one in the west side. It is so cool and definitely recommend checking it out.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Yeah, Taylor loves a good library. I am one of those I do read, I'm an avid reader, but I buy my books because I like to have them to go back to read them again. But Tay loves the library, and I need to also go to the library because I feel like that will also help me to finish books faster. And then maybe once I read them at the library, then I can go buy them.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

Yeah, if you decide you want to uh keep it forever.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Yeah, that's true. So, yeah. Well, there's a lot of things that we could talk to Taylor about today. And she was trying to get me to tell her all the things that I want to talk about on the lot today, and I told her some. Um, but you know, you have to there has to be an element of surprise. So, do you want to tell the people how we met, or do you want me to tell the people how we met? Let's both. Oh, great.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Okay, well, you tell them first. Okay, so first of all, we met on Bumble BFF, um, which I don't know if it's still around, to be honest, the BFF side. So you'll have to look into that. I'm not on there anymore, but that's how we met, and that is very common in today's time. That's how a lot of people meet. I recommend um using apps to meet people, especially if you're in a city to find like-minded people. You don't have to go through the trials and errors of seeing um, you know, some of their top interests, it'll show you right on the app. So we matched on Bumble BFF and decided to go to a little cute coffee shop. And yeah, we were there and just instantly kind of clicked, and and it was right after your birthday.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Because I remember getting you coffee for your birthday.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

No, I got my coffee. It was my coffee. It was right after your birthday. And I got you coffee. And yeah, and so that's how we met, and we've been locked in ever since. Yeah, going on lots of other adventures together. Um, it's been like we just did the math yesterday. It's like we're going on like four years.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

Three years.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Three years.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

Yeah. This year will be our third year anniversary. We met, yeah. Because it was yeah, August 4th. August 4th. Okay, yes, 2023. So August 4th, 2026 will be our third year anniversary. What are we gonna do? We gotta do something. Yeah. Now that we figured it out.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yeah, we'll have actually have to celebrate.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

We were at the pool literally. Go to the coffee shop. Oh, should we? Yes. Yeah, we were literally at the pool trying to really like figure it out. So we went back to like pictures and photos and just trying to do the math, and then we figured it out. So now it's in our calendars so we can remember. Our friendiversary. Excuse me. And yeah, I highly recommend obviously if you move to a new city. Taylor is, I told you guys before, from the cutest little town called Sugar Grove. Tell them, tell the people about sugar grove. Because when Taylor told me about Sugar Grove, as someone that is born and raised in the Bronx of New York, moved to New Jersey, which is one of the most overpopulated states that one can live in. Hearing about Sugar Grove literally made me feel like I was back like eight years old watching lifetime movies with my mom. And it's like the cute little town where everybody rides bikes everywhere. That's literally where Taylor grew up.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Yes, it is a small little town. There's definitely pros and cons. Um pros. You get to grow up with close friends, families that feel like or friends that become family. And yeah, now I have like these hometown friends, and we all understand each other and we all come back to each other no matter like the friends we make because we all connect on coming from a small town. Um, it's where everyone knows everyone, though. So that is uh can be a con. Um everyone's in each other's business in a way, but at the same time there to help. So yeah, it is not the most typical, but um it's very like farm country, and I graduated with like 75 kids in my class. It was like a thousand of us, so yeah, it was it was different, but that's all I knew. I that's where the only place I ever lived, and that was in Pennsylvania, very small town, and then moved out to Las Vegas, and I've been here for six years, gonna be six years this summer.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Yeah, because you moved a year before me. Yeah, insane.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

2020.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Wild. What was it like moving from Sugar Grove to Vegas?

SPEAKER_01 9:14

It was somewhat of a culture shock in different ways. The driving for one, I'm used to dirt roads, um, you know, or back roads, and out here it's you have to get on the highway to go anywhere. Like anytime I go to see Shay, I'm on the highway for like 15 to 20 minutes, you know, to just go anywhere. So that's different. Um, the people, it's a lot more diverse here, which is definitely a pro. It's so unique. All of the different cultures here, all the different people you can meet. Um, also the food, the food options I have here is insane. I grew up with a Walmart that was 30 minutes away. Wild, no Chick-fil-A. No Chick-fil-A for you no chipotle, like no Chipotle is actually crazier than no Chick-fil-A. Yeah, so we had the basics, you know, McDonald's, Arby's, Wendy's, Burger King, but yeah. Also, shout out to Tim Hortons. Uh if you know, you know. I love it. We did have that. And Wegmans. And Wegmans, yeah. I worked at Wegmans, so love me a good Wegmans. That's something we don't have out here.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Um, we had Wegmans in Jersey, so I know of Wegmans.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Yeah, Wegmans is the best grocery store on the planet. It's my favorite, and working there just made me appreciate it even more seeing the behind the scenes. And yeah, so won't go into that rant either, but there are a few things I'm passionate about. Wegmans is one of them.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Who would love a passionate queen? I love that. And then you moved here, not on your own, but with a little special someone. Tell the people.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Yes, I did move here with my boyfriend at the time. And when we moved here, we were only dating for six months.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Six months, okay. Now listen to this story. For those of you that think that, you know, you have your little love stories and stuff, right? And like you're apprehensive, and there's no time on love, okay. Let Taylor be the example to show you that there literally is no time on love. And sometimes we think that. I think that now today, actually, right now, even knowing Taylor and Terry, but tell the tell the people your love story.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Yeah, so we actually met online as well because we met on Tinder. So, you know, the the socials they've really worked out for me. Okay. Um in friendships and in this relationship. So we started dating um January 1st, 2020. So that was New Year's. It was like right at midnight. Um, you know, very cute. You love it. And then six months later, um, you know, I had just graduated college. Um, and then we decided to move out here and yeah, we dated for like five years before um he proposed. So although we did, you know, move in together quick and move to a different state, um, we did take time to grow before making that commitment. Although I wish it was sooner, you know, as every girl does. Um, you know, I'm happy with how things went, and I think that we're at a really good place to get married. So that's our timeline.

SPEAKER_00 12:59

I love it. Yes. Do you want to share when you're getting married?

SPEAKER_01 13:03

We are getting married this year, 2026, in May.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

And it's going to be May 20th. So that is a Wednesday. Um, right in the middle of the week. But you know what? It's going to be beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Can't wait. Literally. The fact that you guys are getting married this year. I mean, the fact that you guys are getting married a period is just wild. But we are almost in April, and then after April comes May, and then your wedding.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Yes, yeah, and Shay has seen us, she's going to see us through all stages. Oh my gosh, dating. Engaged, and then we're gonna be married, so and she'll continue to to see those different stages in our life. Oh my gosh, excited.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

It has been the coolest thing, I think, to become friends with someone, especially becoming friends with someone as an adult is wild. Being friends with someone as an adult after moving across the country is also wild, and then what's also wilder is becoming friends as an adult with someone after all of that, and then literally being able to watch them grow and transform into someone is really crazy because it's like before we met in 2023. I obviously we didn't know each other, and I feel like we've been in each other's lives for so long, but it literally hasn't even been that long, which is also crazy because it's like you were a girlfriend, now you're gonna be well, you're a fiance, and then you're going to be a whole life, like right, right, like a whole life, like that's insane. And it's just been so beautiful to see and just like watch you and Terry just like grow up too, because I mean, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

You've seen Terry turn 30, he's seen you turn 30. I'm on my way there. Yeah, so yeah, tell the people how old you are. Don't say that. Right now, I am 28. Uh, we'll be 29 September 4th. So, you know, still young. Yeah, we I mean, living is a blessing. So um, that's something I've come to realize as I've gotten older, is just each day is a blessing in each year. So something about dreading 30 um used to scare me, but now it's like something I look forward to.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Just go back, listen to this is 30. Yes, teaching that milestone, and then like you know, fast forward after that. Like, you know, yeah, once you crash out, then everything gets better after that. But you will have a crash out when you turn 30 because it's like, what the heck? I'm 30. You crash out, then you're then you're better.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

Yeah, so let's talk about the growth that I've seen of you because you have talked about seeing me go through those different stages.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

So all the crash-outs in my life, just kidding. Uh yeah, yeah. So Taylor and I met. Well, did we meet August 4th, or is that just when we're like saying that's when we met. Okay, so we were talking on Bumble BFF, obviously, like dating as friends, trying to get to know each other. Is she good vibes? Do I like her or what? Before I meet her in person. Then we meet August 4th. If you obviously are a return listener rocking Witcher Girl for a Hot Little Minute, then you know, right, that um my dad passed away April 11th of 2023, which was a few months before I met Taylor actually. Um, and that is one of the reasons why I wanted Taylor to come on the pod because yesterday when we were at the pool, we were talking and we were just talking. Um, I had told Taylor that, you know, like I appreciated her for reaching out to me after the waves, uh, when the waves come back episode. And she was just letting me know, like, that she loves me and that her and Terry are here for me. Um, and you know, I just wanted to say thank you for that because obviously, like, no one has to do that. Like, I'm not recording episodes like, oh yeah, for somebody to reach out to me. No, I'm reaching, I'm creating these episodes for me to be able to go back to, but also for you on the opposite side of the audio. And I am appreciative of my friends that do listen to the pod and reach out to me depending on what I share on the pod, because they don't have to do that, and that's why I'm thankful for the friends that I do have, because they are my community and they really are my family. I don't really have friends. Um, when I say if I caught like Taylor's my friend, yes, but like Taylor is my family, and so is Terry, her fiance, and so is Faye, who's been on the pod, and so is Asia, right? Like all these people that I talk about, like, yes, I quote unquote, they're my they're my friends, but like they are my chosen family, and these are the people that I love and care about and that love and care about me. And we started talking yesterday, and I don't think I ever realized how quickly, truthfully, after my dad passed away, that I did meet Taylor, and we started talking about it'll be three years, April 11th, since my dad passed away. Taylor and I are making three years, and it's just so crazy. Like the all of the stages that Taylor has seen me through in these three years, and just like my grief and the mourning and the happiness and the breakup and uh like disillusion of dating someone and all of the things, and yeah, and the healing most importantly. And Taylor has really been there for me literally through it all. Like, me and Taylor locked in. It's Tay and Shay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

And can we take a moment because when I first met Shay, she didn't mention that her dad had passed away just a few months ago. I had no idea until like maybe our second or third hangout, you brought it up. So you opening up on the pod to people that you may not know, like just says a lot about your growth journey. Because, you know, maybe in that moment you weren't ready to just talk about it and bring it up, but now like you're able to talk about it, you're able to talk about good times, memories that you had. And so shout out to you for the growth because there has been a lot through everything that Shay just mentioned, the all the ups and downs um in within the past three years. So for both of us, we have seen it all.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

So yeah, yeah. Mike, you left teaching, Taylor was a teacher, she left teaching and went into a completely different field, obviously, right? Like moving across the country, away from family. Taylor has literally like grown in her faith. I've been able to see that, which has been absolutely beautiful. I've been getting engaged, about to be a wife, like growing and healing herself with you know, like relationships within her family. It's been really beautiful, and I think that's the thing about community. Like, community is so so important. I cannot tell you guys enough how important it is.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Absolutely. Shay has helped to bring out different sides and heal also pieces of me from my childhood. Like we talked about, you mentioned healing my faith and everything. Like, I used to go to church from a baby, you know, all the way through middle school, and at some point you just get lost in the world, and things are more normalized that shouldn't be normalized, and um, you know, and it it's almost like taboo to believe in God and go to church and and do those things. So Shay has shown me that like you can be yourself, and it's not you're not fitting into like a being a certain type of person for going to church that we all think of. Um, you know, you can still have your own opinions, beliefs, and your religion is with God, you know, it's not with anyone else, it's between you and God. So her helping me realize that and getting me back into the Bible and really building my faith has changed my life. So shout out to her. She is just in uh what your grandma calls you an evangelist.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

An evangelist. Yeah, Taylor has talked to my grandma several times. As you guys know, me and Taylor have our uh weekly hangouts on Wednesdays, and I always call I call my grandma every day. So if it gets too late before seven our time here on the West Coast, I call her. Because it is 10 o'clock on her time. Even though she always tells me it doesn't matter what time it is, I can always call. She will always answer. But I try not to call her after a certain time because I know that she's in the bed. But anywho. And Taylor has heard my grandma call me an evangelist. I like I literally read the uh verse of the day on the Bible app to my grandma and I go through the whole thing, the devotional, the prayer, all of that. And I told you guys before, my grandma has called me that. I don't know. You know, I just be doing what the Lord tells me to do. Okay. I I'm just out here just doing the Lord's work. However, He tells me to do it is how I do it. And here we are. Amen. Right. So yesterday Taylor and I were talking, we were talking about um my brother and my dad. And as I shared, you know, like I have a hard two and a half weeks coming up. Um, and we were just talking about the growth and the evolution, um, and then obviously talking about when the waves come back, that episode, and all of the things, and you know, Taylor and I have had this conversation about the friend's perspective of being there, but also watching someone go through what I have personally been through. Um, if this is your first time listening to the pod, right? I'll give you a quick little synopsis. Uh, you know, March uh 26th, um, eight years ago, it will be my brother passed away. He tragically passed away. Uh, his birthday is April 6th, and then on April 11th, 2023, my uh dad passed away. Uh and I say passed away, right? Because it's very easy to just say that. Um, but both my brother and my dad were murdered. Um, and a lot of trauma behind that had to go to court, uh, testify in open court with my brother's case. Um, you know, similar for my dad, I didn't have to testify, but I did speak openly um in that case after the fact, very heavily involved with the court and the district attorneys and blah blah blah blah blah, all those things. Um, and so it's uh very different, right, than someone just passing away, you know, like life happens and people age and things like that, right? But when you go through something so tragic and so traumatic, and to go through it not once but twice, it does alter you. Um as a person, it changes you and it shapes you and it molds you, and it it does a lot of things to you. Um, and so like Taylor said, when we first met, it was shortly after, months after. Um, and she has seen me really at my lowest, um, and where I am now, which I'm very grateful to, you know, be in this healing journey. I'm never gonna be 100% healed, right? Like I'm always going to experience the waves of grief, which I talked about in the last episode. Um, but I I just find it so fascinating to hear from somebody else's perspective. So whatever you whatever you want to share from wherever you from wherever you want to share.

SPEAKER_01 25:11

I will say that as a friend, you need to just reach out to your friends and check in on them every once in a while. I know Shay has said it before on the pod, but you really don't know what anyone else is going through. No matter how close you think you are with someone, um, always a quick check-in is good. Um, if you can, face to face is better because then you can see if they are lying and saying they're okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

Taylor's sweet and kind, but she will call me out.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

And so I remember we had one of our weekly hangouts, and I knew you were having, you know, somewhat of a rough time, but I didn't know the extent. And we were just talking. I think I made soup. It was just like a cozy time. Festival. And so we were just eating some good food and hanging out, and um something in me, you know, it was God, uh, just like told me to just start like speaking life like into Shay because you know, she did tell me somewhat of what she was going through, but then she just started crying, and I felt so bad because then I was like, Oh, I shouldn't have said anything, but she was like, No, I needed to hear that, and so that moment will always just sit with me because you really don't know what your friends are going through. And and she was able to, you know, tell me more after that, and so I'll just you know remember that moment um as me seeing you at you know one of your lowest points, and from there I just like wanted to check in on you and make sure you were good, and I told you like I'm gonna be there to help see you through it because you know I've been in a low spot, I'm sure a lot of listeners have as well. And if you haven't, you know, you can relate by seeing someone, or you know, if you've had someone in your life that has gone through something that has just really torn them down, or you know, depression, anything, um where they're just not themselves. So yeah, just being there for them and continuing to to check in and and inviting them to do things and offering them like a safe space to be, cooking a meal, because during that time it's hard to want to get out of bed or do anything. So yeah, that that was my perspective on it, and you know, it it wasn't just about you, Shay, but just like in general as well for people who have a friend that's going through something, is just reminding them that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Always the you know, you won't be in the valley forever. Um you'll make it through. And if that's for you, that's a good reminder as well, is that this will come to an end. Joy comes in the morning.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

Yeah. I always say we may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning, and that held me through. My friends held me through, and I think you know, that conversation that Taylor is talking about, I think that was around the time where like I was like really, really, really, really struggling, like really struggling, like I just didn't care about anything anymore. And honestly, and I've been very transparent, like on the pod before, like, it just came to a point where like it was a lot for me, and I was I just I just was over it, I just was over it all. And it came to a point where like I had to let my friends know where I was in life because it was getting every time I talk about it, I get emotional because like it was getting real scary in my head, and I'm like, okay, well, I have to let somebody know that like I'm not well, and like here are the thoughts that I'm having, and like just so people are aware, and I think it again, like having community is really important because to go through life on your own is really difficult, and um, that's when like Taylor and I started to do like Wednesdays, and we would I would come over to her house and we would just hang out and like she would cook, and Taylor always says, like, you just always do so much for other people, like I just want to take care of you. I'm like, girl, stop! My heart can't take it. And it's like the sweetest little thing, and then having Marley here, who literally at this very moment is staring at me in the eyes so deep and so attentive to me, and it's like the sweetest little thing, and he does have like such a healing energy, and I feel like coming here and like being around Marley, who's just so sweet and adorable and just so disheveled, like he's like the cutest little old man, and it's something about his eyes that sometimes when we look at each other, I know it's gonna sound crazy, but if you are in tune the way that I'm in tune, then nothing that I ever say will ever be surprising to you because I'm just connected in a way that a lot of people are not, so whatever. But he will look at me and it's like his eyes are showing me that he is someone, like he like and dogs and animals are like that though, like they're they have living spirits within them, and he's literally winking at me. So that tells me that exactly what I'm saying is true. See, told you, I'm tapped in. Um, but yeah. So when we talk about the healing journey and just like grief, did you know like anything about that? Like grief and like mourning before we met? Like, what was that like for you?

SPEAKER_01 31:05

I didn't know too much. Um, I will say that my fiance has experienced that um previously before we started dating, and then as well as since I've been with him, he has lost um a close friend, and so I have learned from that. Um, but myself, I have only lost one person to me when I was younger, and that was just of old age. So um it was you know something that was more expected. It's never easy, but it is um it does take a little bit off because you do have more time to prepare in a way um and come to peace with it. But yeah, no, I had I didn't really have any like real insight, as well as men deal with grief differently than women. So you know, just seeing my now fiance um, you know, experience him going through grief is very different than seeing how you know a woman or someone that is more in tune with their emotions experiences grief.

SPEAKER_00 32:14

Yeah, that's true, for sure. A thousand percent. Yeah, and I think too when it comes to grief is like the resources and like all of those things and what you choose to seek out in the midst of that because I was in therapy like every Monday at 5 p.m. weekly for a very long time. Um and prayer line, four o'clock. I would literally go, okay, so this is all about Mondays where like I would get off work, I would go to the prayer line at four, go to therapy at five, and then sit on the couch and just be sad for what what was that like six months? It was after the court case ended, is when I feel like I went really downhill. Like I was always struggling, but I feel like after the court case ended with my dad's case, is when I was just like it was just too much at once. My job had changed, I had just like ended a really close like friendship to me, and then the court case, it was like my life was I had no control over anything that was happening, and I was grieving all over again for the very first time.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

I will say that seeing you go through all of that and still have faith, like an enormous amount of faith. I'm not just talking about like a little faith, like you are up at the altar getting prayer, you know, every Sunday. And yeah, that's a good note too, even when you're not going through something anymore, like you still are up there thanking God, praying for you know, things that aren't perfect, and just having that that hope and faith is very inspiring. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

What's it been like? You've seen me through the the sadness. What was that like from your perspective?

SPEAKER_01 34:10

Like watching a friend struggle in that way, and that was tough because there is a point where you can't do anything other than be there for them, offer whatever they need, you know, the support that you can provide, because we don't want to be pouring from an empty cup, you know. So if you're not able to, then don't say you can't.

SPEAKER_00 34:36

We'd love to hear it. Sorry, Marley. Sorry, Marley, but your mama is right, she's preaching to the people.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

We just don't like uh false promises either. Like, just be honest. If you don't have enough to give right now, then let them know. Okay. Um, because otherwise they're already going through something, you know, they're not feeling, they may not be feeling worthy, and then you, you know, deciding not to show up for them may just add to that. So just be honest first and foremost. Um yeah, in everything, yes, honesty, relationships, friendships. Um, but yeah, seeing you sad was heartbreaking. I mean, there isn't much I can do other than, like I said, offer that hand, but also I like I mentioned can relate. So it's like I just want to like heal you. And I I kept telling you, I'm like, I know you can't see it right now, but you're going to make it out of this. And I just had to, I feel like every time I saw you, I I just would say that, like, you're going to make it out of this. And I felt like a broken record sometimes, but it's all you can say when you see your friend going through that, and you know it's gonna get better. Like I can see all the good things in your life that right now you just kind of have like blinders on too. And so I'm just like, you know, you have this, you can do that, this is great. So just reminding you of all the goodness um that is still in your life. So yeah, just being a support at a supportive friend, supportive, even just like stepping in in like you know, a partner role, like like I said, making meals, helping to clean, you know, even like we just decorated your balcony, like doing little things that would like change someone's um perspective, help them rearrange their furniture, shift energy. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Yeah, Taylor's really great at that. We are both like we love an aesthetically apple, like aesthetically pleasing anything that's me and Taylor. So last weekend she came over and I've never shown us on the pod, but I think it was I don't know, I don't remember when it was, maybe a year, almost a year ago. I had an intruder on my balcony. I live on the third floor, by the way. I came home from an ASUS game, sat on the couch, locked into Beauty in Black, and I heard something on my balcony, went to my balcony. This man was lounging on my balcony in the chair as if he lived there. And that was so traumatizing to me because again, I live on the freaking third floor, and my balcony is adjacent to my bedroom, so you leave the bedroom, go to the balcony. So if I would have never heard the noise, I would have gone to sleep. Who knows? God is good all the time and all the time. God's good. And after that, I really just like neglected the balcony. I used to always sit out there, me and Oliver living our best little lives, and it was like, okay, I'm gonna reclaim this space back, basically. And Tay and I were hanging out, and we went to five below. Anytime me and Taylor go anywhere, we need to just stop going business together. Because and it's like, oh Shay, this is cute. Tay, look at this. It's like obviously, you know, when you're out with your friends, you just be doing hoop rest stuff, and yeah, got a whole bunch of stuff, came back, redecorated my balcony, and I have fallen asleep out there like three times during the day though. Um, but yeah, and Oliver and I hang out there and I have these cute little rugs and a new lounge chair, and it's just completely different vibes, and uh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

So you had to switch up the vibe because there was a weird man out there, and yeah, it's been like a year, and you have just like said, like, I'm not comfortable with that yet, and now we have made it a cozy space. Yeah, you can know so cozy.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

I love it out there. That's my new favorite place. I'm like, my couch misses me, but me and that chair are locked in. Best thing I could ever bought. So let's talk healing journey because you've seen me through court cases, you've seen me all the things flying to the east coast, a hot ass mess. And you've seen me really do the work, and that's what it was in the conversation that we were talking about yesterday because it was like a reflective moment. Like, I don't think you realize some like for me. I don't realize that I like am really doing the work until I'm having a conversation with my friends, and then they're like, But you're not you're not like that Shayla anymore. Like Asia had reached out to me. Uh we were talking last week, and she was like, You have to remember, like, you are not the Shayla that you were then.

SPEAKER_01 39:16

Like, you have so many new tools, so many new resources, and it's like, you're right, yeah, and you do put in the work, and that's what I was thinking too about just like you didn't just magically become healed.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Girl, if it was magic, I would have done it eight years ago.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

The therapy, yeah, the worship, the you know, prayer, and just going to church, all those things come into play to where you are now. So you have to do that. And like yesterday we were at the pool, and she was like, Do you hear this conversation going on? Oh, and it was this lady, and bless her, first of all, because she was like in her 50s, maybe, and talking about a man, or I don't even know if we can call him that, who is still addicted to drugs and just bringing her down as probably, I think they said like an addiction to alcohol as well. They're going out all the time, and we were just saying, like, how she needs to forget about him because she's trying to talk to her friend, like, should she still be with him or should she not? We're like, if we could, you know, have a say. Oh my lord, I and I really wanted to say something, but we're just like, just end it and focus on you, focus on you, girl. Because if you keep putting energy into him, she's bringing dinner to him, she's doing all these things. I'm like, girl, leave that man, then you know, you can do that for yourself, yes, and so the growth, you know, it has to come from within first, and then you can start to find someone who you don't have to grow, but you can grow with.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

Yeah, because it took everything in me not to say something to that lady, and if you know me, I'd just be doing that.

unknown 41:15

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

It's just something in me that just says, like, say something to them, and it's like, no, I shouldn't, but I should, and I want to, but I can't. And it's like the unsolicited advice. I told Taylor, I'm like, that's basically what this podcast is. Because I'm, you know, I'm reformed. I've said this before, I'm reformed. I used to give my friends unsolicited advice, and now I don't. Good job, me. I'm patting myself on the back. But with strangers, I give them unsolicited advice because I get a nudge to do it, and I hello, I'm working on my obedience. Okay. And there are some of you, I just want to say this is very random, and it just hit me, but there are some of you that whatever you hear telling you to say something, sometimes you actually should act on it. Sometimes you shouldn't. I'm not saying every time, but there are some times where you will get a nudge to speak to a random person in a poppy shop, or you know, like speak to a homeless person, give them money, right? Like, that's not just you, that is something that is urging you to do that, and small things like that can save someone's life. And I think that that's very important because there are a lot of you that are very intuitive, and I know that intuition scares a lot of people, and it scared me for a really long time, and so I was just like, hey, might as well just lean into it. And again, you can really make or break someone's day, again, you can save someone's life, you can shift their perspective. Whatever you were being led to share, you know, hey, we'll hurry.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

Do it one time, and it never hurts to put good energy out there because a lot of times you do something good. Not only is there a chance you'll get something good in return, because that's not always the point, right? But that person may be inspired to go do something good as well. Yeah, and good people, you know, like like let's just keep creating good people and spreading that kindness because I'm sick of all of you nasty people, you not you, not you on the upside of this audio, okay?

SPEAKER_00 43:08

Because you know, the people that you need to be sending this to, that's the people I'm talking about. But it's okay, we're gonna pray for that. Oh my goodness, Taylor. You are a gym. Thank you. And I thank God every day that we matched on Bumble BFF, and that I was persistent in being your friend because Taylor is an avoidant, and she would have just been A okay with her Terry and Marley for the rest of their lives. And I just was like, no. And I used to send Taylor Bible uh verses, and I send her I was sending her sermons, and I was doing all the unsolicited Shayla things that I was doing until I became a reformed woman. And then it was

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Needed the amount of time it was needed for me.

SPEAKER_00 44:02

Listen, I know, I know. Okay, I'm very aware of a lot of things. And then Taylor started watching church on her own, and I would send her the church link, and she's like, We're already watching. I'm like, Oh, look at God. And then one day she was like, Terry and I found this church. And I'm like, Oh, we found a church, did we? And we got baptized together. Me, Terry, and Taylor.

SPEAKER_01 44:27

We did. It was amazing. It was coming up on an anniversary of it. It was in April. Um, like two, three years.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

Two years. Two years, yeah. Wow. I know. Insane. Literally. I want to get baptized again. I feel like I always gonna get baptized. Not me in the water and pull me out. Make me new lord.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

Born again.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

Honestly, every time. This was great. This was fun. Taylor was very nervous to come on the pod. How do you feel now?

SPEAKER_01 45:01

I feel good. Hopefully, I drop some gems like Shay does. You were dropping me.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

I was like, oh, look at Taylor. I loved it. Marley is here sitting on my lap, giving me all the comfort, all the all the peace, all the joy, all the love. We love it. He's adorable. I'm trying to take him home with me, but Taylor won't allow it. So but we can do like a cousin swap.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

Yes, yeah. If you didn't know, uh me and Terry, we watched Oliver for two weeks before, yeah, for two weeks. And so Marley, he had uh his cousin Oliver, and they ended up growing on each other and becoming friends. So and sometimes Marley, we pop over to Shays and he visits his cousin again and bothers him a little bit, basically.

SPEAKER_00 45:51

And every time Oliver's looking at him, like, what are you doing here? This is not your house. But we love it. Um, but yes, the moral of this story is you cannot do life alone, and life was never to be done alone. Community is important, and friends are so important, and having the right friends can make or break you, and it is important to lean on your people, check on your strong friends, you know, it's okay to not be okay, all of those things because there's so much beauty in the journey, and I've been able to see such a beautiful journey of Taylor and just her growth and evolution into the woman that she is today, and I can't wait to see the woman that she will continue to become, and I'm just so proud of you, and I'm so thankful for you for being there for me and for loving me and for seeing me and for guiding me and for praying for me and worshiping with me and being there, um and just hoping and believing for me that this day would come, that I wouldn't feel like how I was feeling, and I don't I don't think that it would have been um as easy for me to get here if it was not for you and those Wednesdays because they it gave me something to look forward to in a moment in a time where I needed something to look forward to, and I'm just very thankful for you, and I'm also very, very thankful for Terry as well, who is Taylor's fiance, um, for making steaks and and putting me onto UFC and just like being just like such like the sweetest little brother.

unknown 47:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 47:59

Well, he's he's older than me, technically, but we're the same age. But uh, yeah, I'm just very thankful that God placed you guys in my life and Marley. Uh I love Marley. I'm gonna kidnap Marley. You run here first.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

When Marley goes missing, we know where to look.

SPEAKER_00 48:17

Basically, yeah, he's at my house with Oliver chilling.

SPEAKER_01 48:20

No, I want to give my thanks to you and my appreciation to you because you have helped me grow. You've helped Terry grow as well. Like, I'm just gonna say thanks on his behalf because you've helped us in our journey and helping Las Vegas become a home, building this community, because as Shay said, I am an avoidant. I will sit in my house and watch reality TV until the sun goes down.

SPEAKER_00 48:50

I'm trying to get her out of that.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

Yeah, love, love a good doom scroll. So, you know, stay up with all or stay up to date with all the trends. But anyway, just want to give you your uh your thanks because it really has been nice to have a sister as well. First of all, I don't have a sister, so having this experience is different. I've never really had like a friend that truly like becomes a sister, and you can cry too, you can go on a walk with, you can sit on the couch and fall asleep and not talk about anything. Um, that's the kind of friend that you need to have around, someone that's inspiring, positive, kind, loving, all the good things. That is what makes up Shay, and I'm blessed to have her as a friend.

SPEAKER_00 49:47

Yeah, she should make me cry. I'm trying to hold back too. It takes literally nothing to make me cry because I am I don't know. I wear my heart on my sleeve because I know what it's like to experience a whole bunch of things, and I feel like vulnerability is such a strength. And I used to think of it not necessarily as a weakness, but now I think one of those best things about me, and one of the things that makes me who I am is that I am so vulnerable and I can just be that and just you're empathetic as well, so you're able to put yourself in other people's shoes and relate and feel their feelings. Oh, not be feeling. I feel like that's okay. Oh, she's going through it. Yeah, literally, it's kind of wild, but yeah. I hope that you on the opposite side of the audio enjoyed getting to know Taylor, and she's our first guest of season three. Oh my god, yay! Marley, you wanted to say hi to the people.

SPEAKER_01 50:47

He does not talk often, so that is a special moment.

SPEAKER_00 50:52

Yes, that was Marley giving his cosign.

SPEAKER_01 50:54

His one bark.

SPEAKER_00 50:55

Literally, we love it. Well, as always, you are that guy, you are that girl, you are you're adorable. Do you have saying what's the okay, okay? That was funny. I looked up and you were saying it. Okay, you ready? Yes, okay. You are that guy, you are that girl, you are whomever you choose to be.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

And I love you.