Stop Taking Life for Granted: This Is Your Sign to Choose Joy

A slightly Ted-talk-ish episode of The Hones-Tea Podcast .. honest, in the moment, and with a story about lipstick on my teeth at the start because that's just how it went.

Last week I made an uncomfortable financial decision I'd been avoiding, chose joy for the rest of the week, and felt like a completely different person. This episode is about why that works and why we so often skip it.

I talk about:

• The mental prison we build for ourselves when we're feeling overwhelmed
• How the nervous system becomes addicted to familiar feelings, even uncomfortable ones
• Why the first step out of stagnation is smaller than you think
• Free, simple things that genuinely shift your energy
• Why I think we are alive in the most miraculous time and taking it completely for granted
• Choosing joy as an actual strategy, not a toxic positivity bypass

If this resonates, I work with women using breathwork, Human Design and astrology. → www.lbaldwin.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

The Honesty Podcast is a space for women who know that they're meant for a life that's full of magic, excitement, and wonder. If you're ready to reconnect with your power and listen to that inner knowing that says you're meant for more, grab a tea, take a breath, and let's begin. Hey, welcome back to the Honesty podcast. Oh my god, I literally just recorded a full episode and then realised I had lipstick all over my teeth. And I looked Captain Jack Sparrow and I was just like, I can't put this out. I'm all for being authentic, but I also want to feel nice when I'm putting these episodes out. So yeah, this is the second one. I'm just gonna repeat what I just said, but I just want to be honest because when we're creating new things, shit happens. It often is the thing that puts us off doing something new, but sometimes it's just messy, and we have to knuckle down and be like, okay, do I want this enough to record a second episode, even though I've spent the last half an hour chatting away to this camera? And the answer for me is yes, because this means so much, and only I can create this and put it out into the world, and so just want to lead by example. I have had an amazing week. Last week I had a good word with myself about what was working in my life and what wasn't, and I did discuss it in the last episode. I honestly edited that episode. I had so much fun doing it. It felt really nice to just have this genuine, authentic conversation, no planning, which is exactly what this is, albeit I have just done this. But then also to have fun with what I'm creating, which was a big thing. But I do think I looked slightly unwell because I was off the back of a having a cold for a week and then also was on my period. And I don't know if anybody else is really heavy on their periods as well, but I just honestly looked white. I look so pale, it's fine. It went out there, I felt good about it. Would rather look pale than have lipstick on my teeth. So I'm just gonna keep doing this the whole episode just to make sure. But I after having a good word with myself and making some decisions that felt uncomfortable around my finances, I felt like a weight had been lifted. I just felt really happy this week because there wasn't this pressure there. And I do think that a lot of the time, the pressure that we put on ourselves or the pressure that we're feeling, this feeling of being overwhelmed or anxious or whatever it is, is because we create this prison for ourselves mentally. And then suddenly there are not as many choices to make because we're not allowing ourselves to see the possibilities out there. And that was a reality for me. It sneaks up on us. I am somebody who does a mindset practice every single day. I'll journal, I'll do breath work, I'll do all the things, and still I'm trying to navigate learning new skills and creating a business and just being a human being. So it has a really sneaky way of creeping up. But I think that over the last seven years, I've been able to really learn how to self-regulate and have these conversations with myself. And if there's one piece of advice I could give anybody, it's to learn how to do that. Because only we, or only you, have the power to move yourself from an uncomfortable situation, a situation where you are feeling overwhelmed and pressured and all of the things into feeling joy and happiness and abundance. I think we often think that if this external thing changes or if this person comes into our lives, and I do see it in the coaching as well. Obviously, I have clients and I do help guide people into living a more authentic life. But I think, you know, sometimes we can really put people on a pedestal and think, well, oh, this person's gonna change things for me. No. There's a saying that says you can lead the horse to water, but you can't make them drink, and that is exactly that because only we have the power to change our lives by taking responsibility over our lives and making the uncomfortable, first of all, the uncomfortable decisions, but then taking action on it as well. Can we actually move into more authenticity and abundance and happiness? And this was actually a bit of a theme this week in conversations I was having, is that when we do feel overwhelmed, and I mean, I'm a perfect example of this last weekend. Last weekend wasn't the first time I was feeling overwhelmed, it had been something that had been building up over time. But we can become comfortable in that feeling. So our nervous system, even if it is frazzled because we're feeling anxious, likes to feel familiarity because it feels safe in the familiar. Even if that familiar setting isn't safe or doesn't feel good and can make us super unhappy, our nervous system's just like, well, we're not dying, and it doesn't feel like we are going into a situation that feels like we could die because any new situation obviously makes us feel like, oh god, like there's that um sort of anxiety, that nervousness there, isn't there? So our nervous system really likes it when we're feeling overwhelmed if that's something that we've been experiencing often. And so we'll even convince ourselves not to do small micro things during the day that could help alleviate some of that stress, help alleviate some of that feeling anxious. We again build this internal prison to make us feel stuck or to keep us where we're at, and only by regulating our nervous systems and taking the messy action anyway, can we actually move out of that? And that's where there's an a flow of energy. And I actually did a newsletter this week about this because often I think we think that the decision that's gonna help us move out of this feeling of stagnation or feeling stuck or whatever it may be, is by making a really big, uncomfortable decision and taking action on that. And of course, we're not gonna do that if we're feeling overwhelmed because why would we want to stress ourselves out even more by making this huge step? And by doing something that makes us feel happy, it's still a flow of energy, and it's often overlooked. And I think that this week for me, I was like, okay, I'm gonna make this choice around my money, but then I'm gonna just do things every day that make me feel really happy and see where that leads me. Let the universe guide me through joy, and we often overlook this really important, amazing step. And it doesn't cost money to be happy, even though I know that that's a big conditioning that we're fed through social media. It does not cost money to make us happy. So this week, for example, in a morning, I do my breath work every day anyway, and journal. And I mean, I am a spiritual girly, so that feeling of connecting with the universe in the morning lights me up. It makes me feel really good at the start of my day. And breath work has been an amazing thing to help me connect with that because I can literally feel my body turn into energy. So when I think of you know the void, the everything is energy and attracting abundance and amazing things, I'm like, okay, yeah, it's sitting in that energy. So I love doing that, but then also turning on music, a playlist where I can just sing at the top of my lungs and I can do a little dance also makes me really happy. So I've been doing that, and there's even if you don't pay for YouTube premium, you can still get music on there. There might be some advert, same with Spotify. You can still get the free version and be listening to some music if you really wanted to. There's also getting out in nature, so I have been prioritizing going for walks this week and just breathing in the fresh spring air in Edinburgh, and it's felt amazing. I felt really joyful on these walks. And even just seeing nature in action. I saw a swan nesting last weekend, getting ready to have the babies, and there were so many different types of bird in Invalid's part of last weekend, it was amazing. But then all of the flowers blooming, like, how can you not look at that and feel happy? And that is totally free. Like it was just okay, my time, but yeah, it was so worth doing. And then there's even if you do have a garden going out there and gardening, if you have friends you love to see, just you don't even need to do anything major. Go on a walk together. Invite them around for a cup of tea, like do something fun. If there are movies you love to watch that you maybe haven't watched for ages, have a duvet day and just wrap up and get some snacks and just feel happy. Whatever it is that lights you up, that really doesn't cost a lot. Because I think when we aren't feeling happy, a lot of the time we'll then not prioritize joyful things because again, our nervous system just wants to stay where we are, and it is a weird, comfortable place we get to is like, well, I'm just in this miserable place and I'm just feeling super anxious and super overwhelming and super unhappy, and this is becoming a little bit addictive. So I'm gonna stay in this space and not make these decisions that light me up and fill me with joy because I just want to stay where I am, and it becomes a bit of a pity party, doesn't it? Like I mean, I've done it, I'm just being honest on this podcast. It is a pity party, and only you and only me can get us out of it. It is up to us to take responsibility of it and think, right, okay, maybe I can't change my relationship right now because it feels too big, my place of work because it feels too big, my financial situation because I don't feel in control of it right now. But what micro things can you do in a day to start to bring in more balance around feeling happy? Because having an amazing partner, yeah, I have one now, it does make me really happy, but I had to get to a place before I attracted this person where I was just really happy on my own, doing really mundane things that made me grateful to be alive, and a big motto for me in life because I used to work at these hairdressers when I was younger, um, from being like 13 to 16, and it was these elderly women would come in every week, they'd have the same hair appointment. Every week it was adorable. I just became so aware of how short life really is because they would always drill it into me. Oh, you might be 16 now, but one day you'll be my age, and like don't do anything you'll regret in your life and go for it and blah blah blah. And I mean, three years of having these conversations every week, I was like, oh my god, what would my eight-year-old self think? And I've kind of always lived by that of okay, I'm here right now, but if I was sat in front of the older version of me who was looking back over her life, would I be saying, Do you know what? Yeah, stay there. Feel really sorry for yourself. Stay in this place that makes you feel miserable, where you're not going out and experiencing the joy that life has to offer. Stay there. That's exactly what you should be doing. Or would I be saying to myself, right, come on, get up now, take some action, stop feeling sorry for yourself and go out there and live. And especially because I know that I'm a privileged person to have a life where I have choices to be happy by even being able to turn the TV on and put a TV show on that I love, or go for a walk in the sunshine and not feel-I mean, obviously, I know that women can feel unsafe walking, but even be able to walk with a friend and just experience nature and go to a beach, like all of these things that I think we really take for granted, and it's such a privilege to have. And I just feel so passionately about life, and I do think I've dumbed this down a little bit because I didn't want to come across as a super privileged person who was just telling everybody to love life, but recently I've realized that I actually just really love life, and so if I can help other people realize how wonderful life truly is, then that is my reason for being on this planet because I just feel like it's such a miracle, and I am not here for taking that for granted and almost becoming like in this victimhood mentality of life is against me and life is so miserable. And I'm not naive in thinking that, yeah, horrible things go on and there are some evil people in the world. I know that, and I take steps behind the scenes to counter that. But I also think that when we see so much negativity all the time, we forget how fucking incredible this planet is and the experiences we have or are able to have. I actually said to my boyfriend this morning, how mental that I'm alive at a time where I can get any book I want on my little Kindle and just be able to read all the time as a woman. I can just finish a book in a day and be like, oh, and now it's suggested this. Can you imagine 200 years ago trying to explain to a woman that in 2026 you can have this little online Kindle and be able to read all of these books? I mean, I definitely would have been burnt at the stake. I think I would have been burnt at the stake anyway. But oh my god, we're alive at a time where there's so much possibility. The fact that we can build businesses, the fact that we can communicate with people all over the world, the fact that we are aware of climate change and climate disaster and can take steps personally and with our environment to like help that through wiring money over or advocating online or whatever it is. I understand that there's negative things going on, but we are alive at a time where there's so much possibility and amazing things as well. And I think when we focus so much on the negative, sorry, this is a proper tangent, by the way. When we focus so much on the negative, we neglect the amazing things that we can do. And I am over on this side. I am constantly looking for the positives and the ways that we can make a positive change in our environments on a personal and social level, but also on a bigger level. And even creating this podcast was a big thing that I wanted to do to be able to do that, to be able to say to people, come on, just live, love life. It is possible. Um, to round this up, if you are feeling a little bit overwhelmed, like I was last weekend, or a little bit down, or just feeling like life is against you, then this is me saying to you, don't waste another day. Get it out, process it, release it, get honest about what it is that's making you feel this way. Actually, bullet point for me, it was literally bullet pointed things that I was doing, that I was spending money on, that I shouldn't have been spending money on. And I knew that I shouldn't have been spending money on it, and therefore it was eating me up inside because I was making these decisions that were working against me that I had choice over. So I made a change as uncomfortable as it was, and then I chose joy for the rest of the week. But whatever it is, you have decisions to make, you have choices, even if it's not action steps on the thing that is making you feel uncomfortable, you have choices to be happy in other moments, and the universe it's you attract what you feel. So, and I know that sounds super woo, but I just know it because I've experienced it so much. It's opportunities that you wouldn't have even dreamed of start to present themselves when you are in a state of flow and joy and abundance, and you don't need to go and get things to feel that way. There are things in your life you can do to make you feel that way, even just singing Beyonce at the top of your lungs if you're into Beyoncé. Do you know what I mean? It's it really is that simple. Like just throw on some old school RB and fucking sing and dance and just feel joy. So yeah. Turned into a bit of a TED talk, but here we are. I feel this was a way better podcast, by the way, than what I recorded before. I just hope I still don't have lipstick on my teeth, but if I do, case or ah, what can I do? You know what I mean? Anyway, I am gonna leave it here. I'm gonna try and do these weekly, but also I'm doing this because I just find it so fun. So I'm also not gonna put that pressure on myself to do a weekly podcast. I'm gonna see if I can vlog a little bit as well, because I put a little vlog at the end of my podcast last week. I'll see if I can do one at the end of this one. I just found it annoying uploading from my phone to the editing software I use, so we'll see. But I've been trying to do little videos as I go around during the week just for funsies. Um, so the camera literally just cut out what is today. So I've been on a walk and come back, and I'm gonna record the end. Anyway, I will see you in the next episode whenever that is, and I hope you have the most wonderful week. I work with women who know that they're meant for more. If that's you, you'll find everything you need in the show notes.