Nutrition expert breaks it down: Losing weight, work-life balance, and the importance of community.

What happens when grief, a global shutdown, and a business bleeding money all hit at the same time — and you have to decide whether to walk away from your dream or fight for it while you're still broken?

McKensey Ciaramella is the co-owner of Tekton Fitness in Murray, Utah — a CrossFit affiliate that's been building community for over 14 years. What started as a family hobby in 2008 when her dad and brother walked into an underground CrossFit gym has evolved into one of the longest-running affiliates in the Salt Lake area. McKensey is an expert CrossFit and nutrition coach, a psychology degree holder turned full-time people-builder, a mother of two, and the kind of leader who makes you feel seen the moment you walk through her door.

Why CrossFit without nutrition is incomplete — and the one shift that transforms everything people notice in the gym

How McKenzie got her Level 1 certification at 10 months pregnant, then signed a gym lease from a hospital bed days after giving birth

The gut-wrenching moment she got the call that her mom had committed suicide — and how grief physically shut her body down for months

Why she refused to quit the gym during her lowest season, choosing instead to let the work heal her rather than making permanent decisions from a broken place

The raw truth about entrepreneurship: not getting paid for a year, leaning on her husband's support, and choosing to give it everything even if failure was on the table

How she creates a space so authentic that people literally cannot hide who they are — and why that's the magic of her community

The parallel between CrossFit and life: it never gets easier, you just get stronger — and why your first pull-up and your rock bottom are both part of the same journey

If you've ever wrestled with whether to keep going when everything in your life is telling you to stop — or wondered what it looks like to rebuild yourself and your business at the same time — this conversation will hit home.

Connect with McKensey:
Join Tekton Fitness Today: https://tektonfitness.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tektonfitness/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TEKTONFITNESS-ie5jg

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Website: https://roadtoworship.org
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Follow Chase:
Follow Chase on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chase1avery
Learn more about Chase: https://chaseavery.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

And 100% of the time, it's because they have started working on malnutrition. It's like the one thing that you can't get away from. And until you're accepting of that and like willing to do that work, it's where the magic is. Nobody's coming to save you. You are going to be the person that has to step forward and say, hey, I need help. You don't know what you don't know. My third thing actually is find people who can help you. So they actually all go hand in hand together. It was just like the whole world had like stopped. Like the rug had completely been pulled out from underneath me. And I just remember at that time being like, oh my god, universe, like I like what is going on? Like I didn't comprehend it, I didn't understand it. I felt broken. I knew I needed to go work for something worker.

SPEAKER_04 0:42

I sounded like I felt like a total psychopath as I was doing this. I don't think anybody should know that I'm doing this because it sounds whack. I had this almost just like epiphany because what it felt like was me hearing other people that I didn't allow to speak. You are on the hospital bed signal paper with probably some sushi right here next to you. What I hated, what I hated about that next moment, nobody saw it. I was like, but just seeing that small win, that one day, a random win just happened, communicated that I've been able to move past the fact that I gain 100 pounds in a year. Having that progress made and then having people see that and and and being behind you on it is is a is a magical thing. Oh, I love it. Well, hello everybody. Welcome back to The Road to Worship. You are here with us on site at Tekton Fitness. I'm gonna introduce to you who uh is a part of our conversation today. I'm really excited about this. Um today's guest is somebody who's been living the CrossFit lifestyle for nearly two decades and building community every step of the way. Mackenzie Ciro Mella, is that how you pronounce your name? Yeah. Did I get it right? There you go. She's the co-owner of Tekton Fitness in Murray, Utah, a CrossFit affiliate that has been building for the good of the community for over 14 years. What started as a family hobby back in 2008, Mackenzie and her family first walked into 801 CrossFit and eventually becoming one of the longest-running affiliates in the Salt Lake area, which is now Tekton. McKenzie is an expert CrossFit and nutrition coach dedicated to help others live and lead a healthier and longer life, guiding her gym community, which represents loyalty, family, and wisdom, passed down through generations to come. Ladies and gentlemen, business owner, leader, mother, wife, expert, role model, driving force for healthy change, McKenzie. Welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

Thank you, Chase. Oh my gosh, so many nice things. Yes. Like, truly, so many nice things.

SPEAKER_04 2:47

How do you feel about hearing all of those things that you've done?

SPEAKER_02 2:49

Um, honestly, I know that I embody that work, but truthfully, like I just see myself as a human. So like it honestly brings me so much joy to hear that come out of your mouth, and I am honored. I'm kind of like, oh, she's pretty awesome.

SPEAKER_04 3:04

She is, yeah. It's it's your everyday life too. So it's things that you are embodying and you're inundated with. So I I from the response I've heard from other guests, it's like, yeah, oh yeah, that's right, like I have done that.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 3:16

And just hearing it is it makes it more real almost. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 3:23

Um what got you to starting this whole gym that has turned into a pillar of community and what it should look like?

SPEAKER_02 3:33

Yeah, so okay, we gotta go back a ways. Um so you said it in my intro. So back in 2008, it actually was my dad and my little brother, he was playing for, he was playing baseball at UNLV. And at the time, they heard through the grapevine that there was CrossFit. And that they at the time they were underground gyms. Like you didn't, you didn't look it up online, you couldn't type in on a CrossFit gym, you just had to know somebody who went there. Um, and my dad wanted my little brother to do it for off-season training. And so I lived at home at the time I was in college, and I went with them to their very first experience. And it's kind of funny, 801 CrossFit, like there's so much history there, but and we won't even get into that. But I still think this is comical, but it was a CrossFit gym, and the street address was on Wimpy Way. Like, literally, it's just kind of hysterical, to be honest. Um, so I went with them. We all went together for the very first time, the three of us. And I joke about it even here in our gym. Like when I ask people, like, do you remember your very first CrossFit workout? I so candidly remember my very first CrossFit workout. Um, I don't remember the exact reps, but it was wobbly's was it like mine?

SPEAKER_04 4:41

Did you actually die and you had to get resurrected? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

I did. So it was wobbly. I don't remember the reps, but it was wobbly, and then it was a run around the building, and it was three, three rounds. I do remember that.

SPEAKER_04 4:51

Do you know how long the run was around the building?

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Yeah, like if I had to put my memory to it, it probably was 200 meters. Okay. And at the time, like myself at that age was going to, I'm gonna call it a globo gym, just like a regular gym, running on a treadmill, didn't know how to lift a weight, had never picked up a weight before in my entire life. Um, and so I thought I was fit. Like I, oh, I can run, I can do this. And also at the time, this is what's really funny, is we don't have the progressions that we have now. Like in CrossFit, I look at how far we have grown, just I mean, on a whole in terms of education and fitness and all the things.

SPEAKER_04 5:26

It's evolved like crazy.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

It has evolved like crazy. Um, and so I was just given this wall ball, and here's the target, and nobody checked, taught me how to do it. Nobody checked if I could even lift the wall ball. So the funny fact, and this is where I'm going, is the wall ball hit me in the face every single time because I couldn't lift it. I couldn't squat and I couldn't toss it. And the run damn near killed me. So here we go. We all get in the car and we leave. My little brother actually threw up on the way home, which is actually hysterical. We still laugh about that to this day. And I remember being like, I never want to do this again. I was so uncomfortable, hated everything about it, to be honest. Um, and now at this point in my life, I'm like, well, that was my medicine. I needed to do it. Right. Um, and then that just evolved into we joined the gym, and I did it with my dad and my brother, and then my brother would go off to college during his like normal season, and my dad and I would continue to do it together. Um, and at the time I was like, how do I say this? Um not fully in, if that makes sense. Like, yeah, I would show up. I'd show up because my dad would come pick me up, and I lived close and I was.

SPEAKER_04 6:33

You're not married to it, but you still wanted to marry it. You still wanted to be there, though.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

Yeah, yep. And I, if I were to be honest, I still didn't like it. Like I did not like it at still at the time, but I would go. I would go. Um, and then it evolved into my brother was done with school, and they were talking about what they wanted to do, and my dad was like, well, let's open up a CrossFit gym. Like, this so resonates with us. Do you want to do it? So that was my little brother.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

No way.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

And because I was so still a part of the family at the time, I'm still part of the family, but I was living at home and I was a part of all those conversations, and um, I was just so involved in all of it, to be honest, um, that they did. They went on and they opened up their gym. And at the time, so that's now like a couple years later. So now we're looking at probably like 2011 is when this conversation was happening. Um, I was married. I was getting ready to have my first daughter, to be honest. And I still was like titrading and crossfit. I like still didn't really believe it. Um, but guess what? My brother needed help coaching because he wasn't gonna be the only one who could coach all of the classes and open up this gym. So this is there will be a point to this story. But so I actually got certified, 10 months pregnant. I literally got certified like this last week of October, and I had my baby girl, well, my first, Izzy, uh November 7th.

SPEAKER_04 7:56

So like And you have to do like like you have to do like a fitness like exam to actually get there, right? So you're you're blowed up out here doing burpees.

SPEAKER_02 8:06

Yes. And this is totally, totally. Yeah, you are working, uh we joke, the PVC pipe the whole weekend. Um and this was when, gosh, like level ones had 50 people in them. There was like six CrossFit level one seminar staff there. So long story short, I did that, I had her, and then I started coaching um at our family gym, um, honestly, that January. And I was always the 9 a.m. coach. Okay. That's what I did for a very long time. Okay. Um, and two things happened for me then, and actually, maybe I need to go back and say prior to that, actually prior to coming up to that level one, there was a moment where I actually drank the Kool-Aid. I actually realized, like, hey, this is what is going to help me with my health and fitness.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Um then having my family want to do this, I wanted to be a part of it.

SPEAKER_04 8:56

It's kind of a perfect storm to just go all in.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

A perfect storm to go all in. Yep. And then when I did get my level one certified certification and I realized the methodology, and I started really embodying all of it, um, it honest to God changed my life. Like in more ways than I I I could sit here and we could talk about that all day long, to be honest. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:18

So you've gone from hating this method of destroying your body into absolutely loving it, to the point where you are convincing other people to destroy your body or their body. Um voluntarily, we'll say we're not forcing people here, but but there's a there's a point to it, and it's not just this it's not just this place to kind of just show up and and and and burn yourself out, but it's a place to build friendships and kind of that camaraderie. Um I was talking with um our mutual friend Adrian uh last week about how it's the characteristics between CrossFit and church are very similar in regards to what it requires to build a strong community and being holding each other accountable and disciplined, being present and being in one another's lives. Like there's a lot of that here. Um was that the contributing factor to you continuing in CrossFit, or what did it really start from, oh, I see what it's done for me, I have to help other people experience what I've experienced.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

Um, I want to say both, to be honest. Um, the contributing factor was, again, just kind of going back to the beginning of our family gym. Like, I think what I I actually know what I am for other people now is what my brother was for me at the time. And what I mean by that is he was so loving and caring and calm and taught all of this beautiful methodology that we do, right? Like, never had I picked up a barbell, learned all of that. And I learned that through coaching and getting certified and all of that, but doing the work, coming in every day and doing these workouts. And um, so he created that space for me. Um, and then as our as our gym evolved and lives evolved, and he got busy with his his life and decided that the gym wasn't going to be where he wanted to invest his time anymore. Um I the gym at that that time, I'll be honest, like we in 14 years, we have seen high highs and we have seen very low lows. And I also think that that is what makes the story so beautiful. So the point of what I'm getting at is at the time it was a low low. Um, in terms of the gym, it wasn't being cared for and taken care of and all of those wonderful things as the way that it needed to. And I felt like I at that time had what it what it took to give to this methodology and to the people and to build a community that like I had we had for so long here, and then it dissolved and it was like, okay, let's time, it's time to restart. Um, so I think both of those things. And I quickly realized like one of my gifts is making people feel very comfortable and allowing and creating space for people to do this really hard thing together. Um, and I mean I am so grateful that it it is CrossFit, to be honest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:14

That's awesome. It's just hearing that the it's it's a combination of both, and I I can't stress that enough, even in my own experience. It's I can come here, yeah, had a really bad day, and I'm a I process things through doing things physically, so pushing myself maybe even a little too far on the things I'm really good at for doing a workout. Like if we're doing, if we're doing an Echo bike on a workout, I'm burning myself that day. Like it's like I'm giving everything I got just to get it all out. Yeah. But I can also be assured that everybody else who's here with me, good or bad days for them, are still gonna be present and be here. And we've we're protective of the space enough to where we know what we need to do here, but we're also inviting of bringing people in. And I think that's what makes this, that's what makes this gym so unique. Um seeing other, I've seen a few other CrossFit gyms both here in Utah and then back home, um, where that's not really that. And seeing how diverse the characteristics are between CrossFit gyms is quite dramatic. And so the fact that you can come to a place where it's a community and it's we're here to work together. We're not here to try to like outdo each other, uh, but we're here to we're here to build and we're here to grow. It's just it's a wonderful thing.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

Well, and to like play off of that too, like I believe we are all more similar than we are different, right? Like you saying that, like, if it's an echo bike workout, I'm gonna give it my all and I'm gonna kind of burn. Yeah, guess what? I like to do that too. You know, so it's like we we're all just more similar than we are different.

SPEAKER_04 13:45

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You are somebody who's very vocal about nutrition, and somebody who is the driving, a driving force of trying to solve, or maybe not solve, but to help others work through chronic health issues through lifestyle, through eating and through healthy living. What would be three easy steps to our viewers listening on to kind of get started on finding that healthier lifestyle? I know we follow the CrossFit methodology when it comes to nutrition. It could be a little daunting because of how inundated some people are with just food that's around. I know that's how it was for me. And so could you boil down into three steps on just how somebody could get started and get their foot wet into that kind of healthier lifestyle?

SPEAKER_02 14:38

Yeah, for sure. Um, I'm gonna give it a little context though.

SPEAKER_04 14:41

Yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

I think right now, too, we live in such so to answer your questions, we live in such a world where there's so much noise, right? Like there's always a new fat, a new diet, um, a new product, a new supplement. Yeah. Um, and they all have a new injections.

SPEAKER_04 14:56

New injections.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

Yes, yes. It's crazy. Yeah, for sure. And you know, the reality is is they're all a quick fix. And it's also what I love so much about CrossFit and nutrition is that nothing about what we do is a quick fix. Like it literally is sustainable progress over time. And I am at the point too, and I actually think about this a lot, uh, just when I talk to new people or I'm bringing them into the gym or we're having these conversations, CrossFit is not CrossFit without nutrition. And we, I'll be honest, like I even see that in the gym. Like, I also I'm gonna take a couple more steps, but I also understand, and I think this is what I'm actually really good at, is that not everybody wants to be 1,000% engrossed in the gym. Yeah, if that makes sense. So like we can titrate it to whatever. Cool is not for everybody.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:46

Yes, but makes sense for each person and their journey. Yeah, right? Yeah. So even like having done this work for this long, I have seen individuals who really just focus on the fitness part, but they don't really worry about the lifestyle part or the nutrition part. And then the second that they do, all of a sudden everybody in the gym's like, whoa, yeah, what's he doing? What's she doing? Like her scores are crazy. Like she looks fantastic, or he looks fantastic. Yeah. And 100% of the time, it's because they have started working on their nutrition. It's like the one thing that you can't get away from. And until you're accepting of that and like willing to do that work, and that's different for everybody, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Um it's where the magic is. So um, three, three simple ways. I think one is that you have to be ready to make that move.

unknown 16:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

I can talk about nutrition to everybody and anybody. Yeah. Um, but unless they're like really willing to be like, hey, I have the capacity for this, I'm ready to take this on. Um, so my action step for that is make that first move. You don't have to have all the answers, um, but nobody's coming to save you. You are going to be the person that has to step forward and say, hey, I need help with this.

SPEAKER_04 16:56

What could that first move be? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Um, truthfully, asking for help. Talk about it. I also think that was actually gonna be my second thing. Like, I think people only, you know, you you don't know what you don't know. And my third thing actually is find people who can help you. So they actually all go hand in hand together. Um because what I have found also is that there's also a lot of people who do know what they should be doing, but they just need the support. They just need somebody holding them accountable, saying, hey, you can do this. Hey, I'm gonna hold your feet to the fire. Hey, you said you were gonna do this. You maybe are not doing that action step and letting yourself down, but I'm gonna hold you accountable for that. Not because you're letting me down, but because we have a pact. Yeah. I'm here to help you.

SPEAKER_04 17:44

It's just two mutual adults working at it together. Yes. And making it making it possible. Yes. I mean, I see that all the time. Even I have that with some of my friends in other areas of life that we want to hold each other accountable for. And it's not necessarily a, like you said, letting the other person down. It's not uh saying like I'm less valuable because they didn't hold up their end of the deal when it comes to their pact or whatever they agreed to do, but it's hey, I know that your goal is worth more than the feeling you're gonna have that's gonna set you back when it comes to we'll say food, for example. Like, hey, I know the goal that you have, your weight goal, whatever your body fat percentage, whatever you want to hit is worth more to you than what you're about to go eat, because we talked about it. So I'm gonna I'm gonna say something because I love you.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Yes. Um it is is that action step is that they're comfortable with going forward with making that choice, right? Like, hey, maybe I am just gonna go and eat fast food on my way home.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

Or whatever it is. Because that's what they've done in the past. Instead of actually just like sitting there having that moment of awareness of, yeah, this doesn't meet my goal. And I can I can take a moment to breathe and actually realize that like I have power in this in this choice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:03

Would you say habit change is equal or if not more important than the actual nutrition part of it? Like one requires the other?

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Yes, I think it's actually more important. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I think it's more important because it's the habits that create the action steps, and truly, um, that's what leads to the sustainable change.

unknown 19:25

Got it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:26

I mean, I can even see that in my own life, and so I'm happy I'm happy you shared that.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

You know what, Chase? Well, the leading question because I knew the answer.

SPEAKER_04 19:31

But like I needed, I needed somebody to say it.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

What's a characteristic about CrossFit and its communities, no matter how diverse it is, that you would want everybody to understand? Yeah. Or at least get.

SPEAKER_02 19:44

Um, you know, there's so many things, honestly. Because we could unpack so many things to, you know, CrossFit, you're gonna get injured, and CrossFit is just the sport of CrossFit, and CrossFit is high intensity, so it means that you're going at 100% all the time. There's so many things that I can talk about. Um, and truly, to be honest, I feel like those are such old narratives. Like I think that they're out there in the universe, and yet, like, when I sit in this embodiment of work, I'm like, yeah, that's like such old news, to be honest. Like, going back to what I said originally with my first CrossFit workout, like we have evolved so much, and we are really good at what we do. You know, I take my job very seriously. And so I'm not gonna let somebody come in and get injured.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Absolutely not. I'm gonna meet you where you're at, um, and and we'll work the progress from there. But really, what I want people to know is that CrossFit is for everybody. And I know that this is cliche because it's out there, but but it doesn't mean that everybody wants to do CrossFit, and I completely respect that too. Um, it's not the only way. Um, however, I think if you can be vulnerable and just step into a CrossFit gym. Um and let your ego go out there. Yes, yes, yep. Leave your ego at the door.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Um, know that it's gonna be very humbling.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

Know that you, at least in my space, I can guarantee this. I say this all the time to people like you're gonna be seen. Like if you want to come in and you wanna work out and you don't want people to see you or talk to you, this is not gonna be the place for you. Yeah. Um you're also kind of hide in the corner. You can just do that and go. Totally, totally, totally. And in fact, I call them out. Hey, you going back over in the corner like you always do, you know. Um, but I think we just have this tone, maybe, that like we're scary, and the reality is is we are the most kindest, most compassionate, humbling people out there. Um, and you know what I actually really think that it is? I think about this a lot, actually. I think it's when people commit to something they know here too, especially in our gym, they're gonna be held accountable. And I don't know if everybody's ready for that. But I want people to know that if they are ready, willing, and able, step into a CrossFit gym and let your journey just begin. You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to know every single person the second you walk in here, but like let that process guide you. It's a journey. And enjoy the journey.

SPEAKER_00 22:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:10

Because there are so many parts of it that are so humbling. Or there's days where you come in and you're like, did I even get any better? Am I getting stronger? Am I getting faster? Why is this so hard? You know, I mean, honestly, truly, after, I mean, at this point, the gym's been around for 14 years. I've been doing CrossFit since 2008. So coming up, yeah, almost on two decades, which is mind-blowing to me.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

That's a lot.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

There's days where I come in and I'm like, I am so disconnected to what my body is telling me. Have I ever done this before? You know, and but that's what makes me real. That's what makes me a really good coach. Um, but I think that it's like just take that first, it's action steps.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

Let people help you, let people guide you. I don't think that we're meant to do this alone.

SPEAKER_04 22:50

Well, I don't think we're meant to do anything alone when it comes to life in general, like even outside of the state. I completely agree.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

It's like have you, um, Chase, have you ever heard of Brene Brown?

SPEAKER_04 23:01

No.

SPEAKER_02 23:02

Okay, so I don't think so. She wrote a book called Daring Greatly, and I read this I'm 42, probably when I was 30. It was around the time I had my daughter, my first daughter. And she blatantly says that like we are higher hardwired for love of connection, and truly that like is 1,000% true.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Um, and I recognize that immensely during COVID when the gym got shut down and everybody was working out in their homes and garages and living rooms, including myself. I mean, I just remember being like, yeah, this is why we don't do this. This is why we come together in a place and a space where we do this hard thing together. We share that experience. We are all getting so much better when we do it together.

unknown 23:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:47

Yeah, it's doing uh I think anything at this capacity alone. I'm happy we have people in the world who are who are bold enough to say those things. Because it's it's something that's that's crucial um in the good times and in the hard times. It's it's community is essential.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Yeah, community is everything.

SPEAKER_04 24:07

Because community is so important, um, especially outside the gym. Um your journey is filled with overcoming adversity. I've shared, uh we've talked about a couple of those things already. Um but specifically, you've been able to rise above what life has thrown you, and I find that very admirable. Um what would be your advice to a young business owner, entrepreneur who might be listening, who has a vision for their future, and is deciding to embark on their dream?

SPEAKER_02 24:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 24:39

What would you tell them?

SPEAKER_02 24:40

Um, so I would tell them to listen to themselves, listen to that gut, listen to their intuition. I think the universe has such an incredible, you can call it whatever you want.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:51

I like to call energy universe, um, has such an incredible way of almost like comically saying, like, is this really what you want? Like you say you want this, um, but if this is this really what you want? So let me get clear and I can be very specific. Um, so at the time that the opportunity presented itself that I could take over the gym and and do it with my dad, so many reasons why I wanted to. Um, selfishly one, I love working with my dad, and I think that it's absolutely incredible that I get to see him.

SPEAKER_04 25:21

We love you.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

We do. Um, just that he can be a part of my daily life. I like I hold so much value in that. Um, and then there's just so many people that I just loved and we wanted to take care of. Um, and I mean that's just believing in something that's like bigger than yourself, too. So myself was like, yeah, okay, I want to do this. Um and I actually had somebody at the time tell me, like, you can birth a baby and and birth the gym at the same time. And I say those two things together because at that time when I took over the gym, I actually was getting ready to have my second child.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

So both of my girls literally resonate with the gym. My first daughter was born when we started 14 years ago, and my second daughter was born when I took over. Um, which is just wild.

SPEAKER_04 26:08

And so didn't realize the timeline's synced up like that. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

It is crazy. And I just remember having this just internal gut knowing of like, I can do this, I can make this better, I want this, I think I have what it takes. And my husband, I like my biggest supporter, you know, that saying, like, behind every great man is a great woman. In my case, I will only speak to my my situation, but behind me is an incredible human being that never gets enough credit. Um, and he is truly the foundation of why I'm able to do all the things that I'm able to do. So huge shout out to him. I love him dearly. Um, but so I was having my daughter and I was literally signing the lease for the space that we are in now at the same time. Like, literally, my dad came to the hospital to meet Vivian, and he was like, Hey, I hate to bring this up, but you got we gotta sign the lease today. And I'm like, Okay.

SPEAKER_04 27:01

I can't imagine that. Okay. I can't imagine. I would have told you to like get the hell out of here.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

Yeah, you know what's so funny is that like I think it was my naive self in one way. Like this beautiful, naive woman who was just like, Yeah, okay, let's do this, you know? Um, so now I just my train of thought a little bit. I don't I don't remember this specifically, but I remember it was more like, no, no. It was more like, hey, we have to sign the lease. Is this a go? I'll go take care of it. That's what it was.

SPEAKER_04 27:32

Mom, we'll put that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Yes, yes. And in the meantime, okay, so I had to move the gym and we had to relocate. And that was in 2019, coming forth to then 2020. Right. Okay, so now my my my experience in my own body, my daughter was one. My mom was having a lot of health issues, that's where this is going. Um, and that year was COVID year. So March, this is, I know, like I gosh, I forget sometimes all the things that we have been through, but March, we had just hosted a Granite Games competition literally in our gym that Saturday before we shut down the gym for COVID.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Gosh.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

And I remember being like, oh my god, thank God we chose that weekend. Because like fast forward, there was a moment where I had the choice of like which weekend do we want to do. So, and and nobody knew that COVID was around the corner. Like, that just wasn't a thing. Um, so come March, we shut down the gym. My mom was not doing well, and and I saved that from like this loving place of like she wasn't well, she hadn't been well for a long time, um, but not having any concept or clue of what was to come next. So the gym was closed, we were running our gym out of our garage, um, doing Zoom calls and and trying to keep the community together. And I mean, I think there was so much fear at that point, right? Like nobody knew what was going on. People were afraid of COVID, sickness, toilet paper was gone, equipment was gone in here. Um, it was like we all wanted to come together, but then we was like we were almost kind of scared at the time, you know. And there's so much that's wrapped up into with that, but we reopened the gym, and in July, so we reopened the gym. I actually don't remember, to be honest, how long we were closed, but it wasn't shortly, it was shortly after that we reopened the gym, and I one random Wednesday, and I say random, it's not very random, but I came and worked out at the gym, left, and I got a phone call from my dad that my mom had committed suicide. And it was so shocking at the time. It like still gives me chills. I don't think that's ever gonna go away because it's such an she's just such an incredible person, and I just miss her so, so, so much. But um thank you. And it was just like the whole world had like stopped. Like the rug had completely been pulled out from underneath me. Um, and I just remember at that time being like, oh my god, universe, like I like what is going on? Like, I didn't comprehend it, I didn't understand it. It was so traumatic for not only me, for my dad. I like to speak very gently. I mean, I'm such an open book, you could ask me any question. Yeah. I like to speak very gently sometimes because I realize it's not just me. I have four siblings, and I have my dad who experienced this whole thing, and my husband and my kids, and um, but I had to get really clear. So, this is where this is coming to your question. I had to get really clear on what I was doing and why I was doing it, and did I want to do it anymore, to be honest. Um, and part of that was the gym. It was could I handle it and have the capacity to handle it while I needed to heal? Um, while I felt broken, to be honest. I I mean, it I there was so many things that came with that at that time. Um and I'll be honest, I did stick with it. And I was in therapy, so this is a key pivotal moment. I think we all have these in our lives. Like just as pivotal as, yes, I want to do this, I want to take over the gym, I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now, and I just so was so excited about that. I had a pivotal moment where I was in therapy because this horrific thing had just happened to me, and I knew that, and to a lot of people, um, that I had to be good. Like I knew that in order for me to show up in the capacity that I wanted to, and not even just from a gym perspective, but from an individual perspective, I had a husband and kids and myself. Um, I knew I needed to go work through some things for sure. And I remember talking with my therapist, and she was just telling me, like, hey, there are times in our lives where we get rock bottomed and nothing makes sense, and those are pivotal times where you might need a change. And the one thing I haven't said to, but I use it a lot, and I'm gonna call it this practice, is I was so riddled with grief. I was so physically sick. I don't think that that's something that people talk about that I actually couldn't do CrossFit for a very long time. Um well, I say very long time, and I'm talking long time for a CrossFitter. Like, yeah. Yeah, like when I look at it.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

If you go a week without doing a CrossFit workout, you're like, I've never done this before.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

So I know it's like well, I haven't got CrossFitted in like months. Um but like um just I had like I physically could not move my body, I wouldn't have to do it. Yes, yeah. And at the time she was, I mean, she was so great in she didn't steer me in any one way. I I think a really good therapist doesn't steer you in any one way. They just let you talk and listen and come to these concepts. But um, she was like, it could be time to change, change the way you move your body. Um, not have so much responsibility and pressure um that you know you are putting on yourself and and and not even that I was just putting it on myself, but it's a lot of responsibility to take care of people. I mean, that's what we do. You know, it's wrapped up in CrossFit, but like I take we take care of people.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

People's health and fitness and mental health and all the things that encompass and embody health are very important to me. Yeah. Um, and so she was not encouraging me to do any one thing, but I just remember that I had to get really clear like, should I be not doing this anymore? Like maybe this wasn't my path. Um, and at the time, my dad's my business partner, he also wasn't doing very well. And so I just remember though having this very clear moment. So this is the pivotal moment I'm getting, I'm getting to, where I was sitting on the couch and I was listening to my intuition, and I was like, no, like I am not going to give up on this thing that I love, that I want to do so badly because I'm not well right now. Like, I want to make that decision in a healthy place, and I was not in a healthy place. So for that, I just decided, no, this is what I'm doing. I'm gonna give it my all, and I'm going to let it help me. And to be honest, in some beautiful way, like this again is universe, energy, divine, whatever you want to call it, um, I truly believe that my mom knew that I was gonna need a lot of love and purpose and support. And the second that I made that decision just energetically within myself to be like, hey, nope, this is what I'm doing. And I am just gonna keep chugging along, and we're just gonna do the best we can and let the journey unfold as it as it needs to. I'm not in a position to make any other decisions at this time. It's become this beautiful thing that I we have so many incredible people here, and I like secretly think that she sent them to me in some weird way. Um, but actually, I think it's more because it's just I'm just doing what I love, and when I do what I love, I'm lit up. Um, and so to that, to like the person who is out there wants to put themselves out there and they're just not sure or unclear or how they're gonna get from start to finish, you don't have to have all those answers. Yeah, you just have to start, and and the journey will unfold itself. And I honestly can say that that is the same for your fitness and nutrition journey. Yeah, we don't have to have all the answers right away, we just have to start, and then the journey will will and unfold itself.

SPEAKER_04 35:34

Yeah, I appreciate you sharing all that um and being so vulnerable because I think people need it, like they're yearning for it. And that's the kind of the biggest response I've seen, at least on this platform, is information is great. Like we can spit fire about nutrition and crossfit movements and why they're so great all the time, but getting to the core of why that knowledge is so important and how it applies to just humanity, just how it applies to your life is so is so crucial. I've noticed in my own journey with with entrepreneurship where typically when you start, and you you could probably attest to this, but when when the journey starts, it's exciting. Oh, totally. It's like, yes, everything is uncertain, we don't know what's gonna happen, but it's cool. Like I'm gonna go thinking about like the day I was like, okay, yes, this is what I'm doing now. Like the certainty of that decision is really cool. Even though I just said everything is uncertain, which it is when you're doing when you're starting a business, one thing you can guarantee is at some point you will hit rock bottom. Like there really isn't any uh scenario where that doesn't happen. Like you can even if you come from money, like you will see some, you will see a rock on your bottom. Like you will see it happen at some point in time. And it'll take many different forms.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:53

Um it could be experiencing loss, it could be financial loss, it could be uh human loss like you experienced and um even just going through COVID, which also had the financial components to it as well.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

And um Oh yeah, talk about rock bottom. Like, you know, we had just I mean, I'd only taken over the the gym about a year prior, and um I think I've shared with you this before. I haven't shared this with very many people, but the gym was losing money when I took over. And so it was one of those where I'm like, okay. And I remember saying this to my dad, like, hey dad, like if we give it our all and we fail, then we fail. But I will not not give it my all. And that also was tied into that pivotal pivotal moment of like, oh no, I'm not ready to like say that I'm done with this yet. I haven't even given it a shot. Yeah. Um, but yeah, that year was really hard, right? Like financially, like COVID shut down our business. And you know, that entire year, I don't I don't talk about this much because it just it matters and it doesn't matter. Like it matters from an entrepreneurial perspective of like you're gonna hit a rock bottom. We didn't get paid for a year. Like, thank goodness I had my husband who worked full-time and could support and like allow me. I mean, there's so many reasons why this is working. He gave me the room to try.

SPEAKER_00 38:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

And again, so incredibly grateful for him. Um, but you know, when you have skin in the game and you've got to pay for the lease, even though everything is shut down and you have no clue what's gonna happen, like that's a really scary place to be. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:29

Yeah, and even through that, you have the you you come to a decision, and I've made and I've seen and know people who have made both decisions of continuing or saying I have to cut my losses and go somewhere else. Absolutely. That's not a bad decision to make. Like I have a friend who had just had to shut down his business, and he he was really bummed out about it because he was really excited about what he was doing. He was very passionate about it. And he loved the idea of having his own schedule, doing the things he wants the way he wants to do it, and having that it's funny, having that freedom, even though it's not freeing necessarily with time. You do control your own schedule, but it's filled up with everything. Yeah. Um, and so but the the the cost to it he was willing, he was willing to to pay for. And he was on the other side of No, actually, I have to support my wife.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:17

I have to, I have to keep this house going. It may not be the time yet. But that doesn't negate the year of experience that he had trying to build something. Like everything that he did, he kept. And that was my initial mistake, is when I hit my first rock bottom, because now there's been multiple.

SPEAKER_02 39:37

Um we all have them. Multiple times.

SPEAKER_04 39:39

In business specifically, though, in two years, we've had two, every year there's always like a is it time? Is it time are we are we gonna cut it? Yeah, and and thankfully we haven't yet. But um there's there's the moment where you we just you have to make that decision, but you don't lose the effort that you've put into it. Yeah, yes, yeah. Um you could put that anywhere outside of entrepreneurship, which you should. Like, I didn't finish college, I went for two years. Yeah, the two years that I went didn't disappear because I didn't finish it. And I think that's a common thought process when it comes to that. Like, if I had stopped CrossFit today, I didn't lose the year and change of experience I've or few years of I've done already here. Um in having that experience, you can go back and do it again.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 40:27

My old boss from my last job before I started my business, um, he did a And actually what I was gonna tell you right there in that moment.

SPEAKER_02 40:36

Sorry, this just came to me. And guess what? You're gonna be even better at it when you go back and do it again.

SPEAKER_04 40:39

Yes. And it will get worse. Each time it happens, it will get harder, but you will be stronger. Yes. And so it's it's just this like equal balancing out.

SPEAKER_02 40:49

How relevant is that to cross it? Like when people are like, oh, when do you think it would get easier? Oh, honey, it never gets easier, right? You just get bitter, faster, stronger. Yeah, you push yourself a little bit fitter, faster, more, you know, whatever, lift more. Yeah. Um that's the part where it's like embrace it because it doesn't get easier. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:06

My old boss, uh, my old job before he uh laid me off. You're awesome. Um you got me kickstarted on my journey. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

Yes, exactly. There was value there.

SPEAKER_04 41:18

Yes, I was very comfortable. Um he so he did these things called quarantine corners. And so when we all went to, when we all went to COVID, our our office was dismissed or what's the word? Dismissed. Like we didn't, it's just it was COVID, we had no office. And so as we were in training, he was doing this uh COVID corner where he was doing a weekly, is that the weekly or by bi weekly time where he just did like vlogs essentially, and we all watched him.

SPEAKER_01 41:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:43

Um and he, I'll never forget it, but he said something, and he was talking about when he was starting his company, and he he said, which made me feel quite humiliated when I started my business, because it's true. But he said something along the lines of I never trust a business owner who's only tried it once. Oh or or or he'll say, I'll I'll never I never trust uh somebody who hasn't failed in business yet. And when I started my business, man, my ego was through the roof. I'm like, I'm gonna get it right, the first try. It's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:22

Um and now being a few years into it, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I agree with him. Totally. I'm like, okay, you're your the first business you start could succeed and go a long time, yeah, but when you're just starting out, you're a newborn in this process. Like you need people who are, in business terms, adultier than you are to help you along the way. No, I'm not gonna trust somebody who's only been in it a year. Yeah, not because they're not trustworthy people, they just don't know what they're doing yet. And so having this, having this input and this advice from somebody who's been at it for 14 years, even somebody like I mean, I look up to you in regards to how to build this kind of community and trust between members. Remember, trust you with everything. I trust you with everything. I've drank the Kool-Aid, I'm in it now. You're the the the way that you have allowed people into your world is something that I don't think this world has enough of. And I'm very happy that there we have people in this space that you have created with your dad and with your brother to allow that to happen, where people can compete with themselves and each other and not go at each other's throats. Yeah. Or to be encourage people to be humble enough to start small. Yeah. Or to start not where they want to be, or they'll see somebody across across the way here doing a workout, and they're like, man, I freaking wish I could do that.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:49

And the humility of saying, No, I can't, yet.

SPEAKER_02 43:53

Yes, yes. Yet you know what's so interesting, Chase, is I actually heard somebody just say this recently, and I was like, oh my gosh. That could not be more true. Nobody starts on the same playing field. No. And I think that that is so important for us all to remember. So even to like circle back to like what would I want somebody to know about walking into a gym is you're starting on a completely different playing field than somebody else. And don't judge yourself for that. Like you are here. You can be here and you can be doing this hard work and we can help you do it, and you can achieve all of your goals, but you aren't starting where somebody else started. And from a fitness perspective, I mean, we've had so many people come in to the gym, and guess what? They can get a ring muscle up, which you know, I mean, in CrossFit, it's like the thing that everybody wants. Um because they've done gymnastics their whole life. And then I have, I'll say it myself, like I am the person who walked in the gym and didn't have any experience. When I started, I couldn't do a pull-up, I couldn't do a push-up, I couldn't do anything. I never lifted a barbell. Um, and I think that's why I love and I'm so passionate about this, because I'm like with the right environment and the right people and the right support and the right methodology. I've actually never seen this not work. But we don't all start at the same place. And that's okay. There's space for everybody here. And just because somebody can do a ring muscle up and somebody is working on, you know, getting their first pull-up, like they're both equally as valuable. And I see that to be equally as valuable.

SPEAKER_00 45:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:25

But it's that in business too. You know, it's like that, it's that in people's personal finances. I mean, that could be true in almost anything that we talk about. That's it's that in this human experience.

SPEAKER_04 45:34

What was that first aha moment for you in business? So I'll say, like for me, for example, I remember when I got my first client in my web development agency. And both my parents are business owners, you know. My dad's a designer, my mom's a forensic accountant. Um I don't know if she called up.

SPEAKER_02 45:51

Which I didn't know that that's the type of accountant she is.

SPEAKER_04 45:53

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, she's really cool. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:56

She I think you uh your mom and I should be friends.

SPEAKER_04 45:58

We should, yeah. She has she's had some clients in the past where you've had she's had to investigate missing money and had to pull together documents of like here's what happened to bring to court to somebody. And so, um, I mean, she that's not the majority of her clients, I don't think. Sorry, mom, if I'm misrepresenting you. Um but that's what I think of her as is like just this niche, trusted business owner, whatnot. But I remember when I got my first client, I was on, I was driving to, I thought it was gonna walk my dog, I think somewhere. I was driving, I was, and I was about to hit the freeway. And a few minutes before, like as I was leaving, I got the email that they wanted to sign on. And um I called my mom first and was just I was lit up. I was so excited because it was a good four months, I think, of me developing and building my own platform and my own website and whatnot, and um getting that ready and launched, and then networking and trying to find people and putting myself out there, and I'm a very self-conscious and insecure person. So putting myself out there saying, hey, I'm good at this, yes, I felt like an impossible task. It's hard, it's still hard. I hate networking, even though I'm even though I'm decent at it now. But um, I called my mom, just I felt like a seven-year-old who got a new toy. I'm just like, oh my gosh, it's working. It's working. You know what she says? She was like, Cool. Not excited at all. And it wasn't that she didn't love me or anything, it was that she's done her business for two and a half decades, so she's like, I get them all the time. Like, this is great. Um so but it was it was my dad did the same thing too. I called him too, hoping to get a different response. And he was like, Oh, that's cool, man. That's great. Yeah. I'm like, can we all just be excited for me like once? But the that didn't negate my excitement, but the um just the feeling of I call it hope. Like just the hope that, oh my gosh, okay, somebody trusted me with their business that's growing, then helped my business to grow. That was just a that was just a moment in time that I think I I don't think I'll forget. Um and so I share that as an example, but what was that moment for you when you first took over the gym? Because you have this process of you're starting, you're excited. I'm just imagining you just birthed a child and you are on the hospital bed signing paper with probably some sushi right here next to you because you can eat it again.

SPEAKER_02 48:35

It's why that's actually coffee and steak, that's what I wanted. That's what I wanted, but it's why Vivian is so spicy because she, yeah, but um But what was that moment for you? You know what's interesting? Like you say that, and I to be honest, I'm like, oh, I don't know. I don't know if I have one that sticks out, to be honest, as that like, oh my gosh. Um but what I can say is I actually think I have those moments all the time. To be honest, I like I just even more powerful. Yeah, and I love that about this work. I love that about this work. Um I had a I have a nutrition client that he does, he doesn't come to the gym, and I've been working with them, and he just sent me the mind like explosion moji emoji this morning of like, it's working! Like I'm losing weight, it's working! No way, and you know, I'm like, I'm taking that as a really good sign, you know. So cool. Um, and like that gets me so lit up.

SPEAKER_01 49:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:30

Um, it makes me so happy for that person and so proud of them, and like hard work pays off. It's you know, um so and I I mean that's just one that just happened within the last 24 hours, but it's like, you know, we just went through the open.

SPEAKER_00 49:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:44

Just how fun it was to see everybody in our gym show up for each other. Um, that's like that whole concept of like, this is so much bigger than me, and I believe in something so much bigger than myself, um, which is in my world, it's CrossFit and nutrition. Um, I just that's my love language. But I like just people showing up and doing this hard thing and being uncomfortable. And we all felt that way. I felt that way, you know. I just so it's not, I don't, I don't think I have like one specific aha moment. I think I'm titrated with a lot of those. But I think what's important, and I will say this, is not they're all such big wins. Does that make sense? Like no small moment, and we talk about this all the time. Like it's a small win is a huge win. It is a huge win, and I just hold a lot of value in that.

SPEAKER_04 50:36

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:38

I was gonna so put myself on blast here for a second, but just and probably like an hour later, I'm gonna be like, oh my gosh, I have this moment, right?

SPEAKER_04 50:45

Yeah, but on that note, like there's so many cool things that are that could be considered small wins.

SPEAKER_01 50:52

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 50:54

I'm um I'm now realizing things now for just for myself. Yes. Of just these small wins are representative of so many habits for me that were killing me. Yeah. And like whatever these small wins were, whether if that's weight loss or body fat percentage loss, muscle gained, if this was a movement you can now do, if this was uh the fact that you just showed up in a day, like one of our favorite gym members without quote that's gonna go across the whole gym. It's my PR, is walking through the door. Yes. Um Todd Schaefer.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

Todd. We love you.

SPEAKER_04 51:28

Um, but just the those little those small wins of being able to do that. But I say small as in in comparison, if you're comparing to other people of doing like just these big things. Yeah. Um I remember when I got a pull-up for the first time last year. Yes, I did it on accident.

SPEAKER_02 51:47

Which I love, because that's usually how it happens.

SPEAKER_04 51:50

Yeah, because I was waiting, I was I was waiting for, I was, I signed up for a session and I was waiting for it to start. And I was like, you know, I don't know what's telling me to try, but I'm just gonna give it a shot. Yeah. And I got my first trick pull-up and my jaw drops.

SPEAKER_03 52:02

I love it.

SPEAKER_04 52:04

And what I hated, what I hated about that next moment, nobody saw it. I was like, do I say anything or do I just do I just let it go? And I decided to tell you, I'm like, I think I just got my first pull-up. And you're like, what? Yes, do it again. Yes. I'm like, can we just call it? Like, I don't I don't know if I could do a second one. Right. Thankfully I could do a second one, so everybody can see the proof. Um, but just seeing that small win, that one day, a random win just happens, communicated that I've been able to move past the fact that I gain a hundred pounds in a year just from binge eating. And from being so insecure and not working out and uh being so embarrassed walking into the gym of not being able to do the things that a bigger person you would think could just do, being lifting heavy. And having that progress made and then having people see that and and and being behind you on it and is is a is a magical thing.

SPEAKER_02 53:06

That is the magic of the community. That is that shared experience that I think we're not meant here to do it alone.

SPEAKER_04 53:11

We had we had a uh a gym member just do her push-up for a first person for the first time a few months ago. Yep. And she went around to every gym session and showed everybody. No, I'm not gonna go. It's like everybody stop. I could do a push-up now. Sandy, there you go.

SPEAKER_02 53:24

We love you. It just I love it.

SPEAKER_04 53:26

Just the fact of being able to do that, you're not doing it from a side of ego or pride. You're not you're not showing off.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:32

There's nothing really to show off about a push-up in the grand scheme of things when it comes to fitness, especially in the CrossFit space because the ceiling of skill is so high. Yeah. But it's the fact that you could do it. Like it's where that person is in that point in time being able to achieve something that they could never do is such a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

It is, it's so cool. And and truly, like, that was huge for her, right? Like she'd been working on that for a very, very long time. Um, and that's where I'm like, that's huge. It's huge. It's every it's honestly it's everything. It's everything. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. And you know, I I've said this to you, I'm like, let that carry you for six months. Because you're gonna come in tomorrow and something's gonna humble you. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:12

Yeah, we did running for the first time yesterday and uh it bit me, it bit me hard.

SPEAKER_02 54:17

Well, if I could say it hit everybody hard.

SPEAKER_04 54:20

It did hit a lot of people hard. If life was if your life where you are now, uh now in your early 40s, right? Early 40s, okay. Um Congratulations on making it this far. Um if your life of of 40 plus years has been a movie up until this point, what would the audience be screaming at the screen telling you to do?

SPEAKER_02 54:46

Oh my gosh. Like what like just comes to my stomach and like my intuition is just more of what you're doing. I this, like the work that I'm doing. Um keep going. Like those are the those are like the voices that I hear. Like, keep going, um, do more. Um and and not do more, let me be very clear, because this is something I'm working on, not do more as in like run on the treadmill target you can and spin your wheels, but um share more and you know, just more, talk about it more. You know, fitness truly is like the thing that makes me most embodied in myself. Um we haven't talked a ton about like methodology of CrossFit, which I love that we are just here candidly talking. Um, but I will say like to own and be so empowered to know like what health and fitness really is, truly, which I think is so incredible. And I learned all of that from Crossit. Um, and how to actually take care of myself physically, just sharing that with the world. I I think that's what I when I say more, just sharing that more with people and and bringing as many people into that as as physically possible. My work is in this space, in this box, in this building.

SPEAKER_04 56:15

So um it is pretty much just a big box. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:19

It is a very big box, yeah. Um, but just that, yeah, and just keep being myself. I mean, I think, I mean, we've talked about it a lot, but I appreciate people who are themselves and can authentically show up as themselves. And I I think that's part of one of my secret scents. I think it's one of my gifts, yeah, that I allow people to be themselves and hey, we're gonna do this whole heart thing together, and um, it's magical.

SPEAKER_04 56:45

I would take that a step further, and yes, you are phenomenal at facilitating a space where people can be themselves. But you also, in a very kind, polite, and non-invasive way, uh, you shut down anybody who's not being themselves. Um and and it's that's that's the best way I could communicate it because you're not walking up knocking somebody against the head and saying be yourself, but it's the way that you I'll say it again, it's the way you facilitate the space. It's you can't really do anything but be your like you can't do anything but being yourself. There is, it doesn't fit, it doesn't match if somebody isn't. Um I've definitely tried walking into this gym covering who I was in the moment because I'm like, I'm not ready for people to see who I am right now. And I couldn't. Like it just it didn't work. Yeah. Um and I think that's a really special thing. It's and that's why it's so humbling and vulnerable, but that's where the that's where the magic happens.

SPEAKER_00 57:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 57:52

Um so you've been nose deep in building up your nutrition and your fitness and and and building your I think just health kind of overall from a physical perspective. You are also somebody who really takes great importance to your mental and spiritual health as well. And we've talked a little bit about how important it is for you and the things that you do, um, especially as a business owner and somebody who does have a lot of stress in life when it comes to being a parent, being a spouse, and then being a business owner and all the other things I don't know about. Um what are some things that you do to keep yourself spiritually in tune? And I say spiritually in tune because you are you aren't somebody who you you weren't really just growing up and you're you're um I don't think I don't think you have a faith that you typically match with, but you do understand the importance of there is something greater than me. I need to be spiritually in tune in order to be healthy. Yes. Which is great. And so I want to I want to hear from your perspective and your kind of view of the world. What do you find is maybe healing or constructive or things that keep you at peace or keep you sound when these stressors are so prevalent?

SPEAKER_02 59:12

Yeah. Um, one thing that I have learned about myself too, like talk about reflection and just thinking and learning more about yourself is that I am somebody who likes to try on everything. I like you could tell me, hey, you you this works, do it. And unless I try it on myself and then like embody the work and decide is this right for me, um, I have to do it. I'm like such an in-action person. Um so yes, I am a very spiritual person. I did not come from any sort of religious upbringing, um, which I think in in so many cases has freed me in and provided a lot of freedom to just really do a lot of internal work on myself. Um, and so it's that I do a lot of internal work on myself, whether that is stillness, whether that is neuroplastic neuroplasticity work, I've had to do hang up a little. I've had to do a ton of neuroplasticity work since my mom has passed. Um, but I've also like seen the through line of how, gosh, it just like magnifies everything in my life in such a beautiful way. So a ton of stillness. I am such an extrovert and I am such an introvert at the same time. So like just being with myself a lot to be with.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:24

There's a new term for that. There's like both the introvert and extroverted people. There's a oh, there's a third, I forgot what it's. I almost said omnivert, but that's that's that's not that's not it. That's an omnivore. That's that's not it. Yes, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:36

Um I yeah, okay, so stillness, I've already said that. Um, neuroplasticity work. I we were just talking about this yesterday. I am going to, I'm not sure yet how, but it has recently come into my circle a lot of nervous system work. I I have tapped into it with the.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:53

You're talking about nervous system visualization stuff you were talking about too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:57

I've tapped into quite a bit of it with the neuroplasticity work that I've done, but there's a layer there that I'm like, oh. But the layer um I'm starting to just learn about is the education piece behind it. Um, and that's why that is so tied to part of my like taking care of myself or my spiritual well-being is when my mom passed, I we all have a nervous system. I can go back in my life and we could talk about that for a long time, about where my nervous system showed up, not knowing that that's what it was. But when my mom passed, it was on fire. So talk about sickness and just how much grief and how sick I was, and how my skin was literally on fire for months. Oh my gosh, months, but how much work I had to do to like get my nervous system safe and calm. And um, but I didn't have so the neuroplasticity work that I've been doing, I didn't have the education behind it. So what has kind of just fallen in my lap recently is the why, the understanding, the like biological mechanism of your body. And so I'm kind of I'm gonna start tapping into that. I'm excited. I know. Um honestly grounding. I and grounding not just going outside in nature, but like grounding with the people I love. My family, they keep me very, very grounded.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:12

Um probably on different fronts, I'm assuming.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:15

It was just like, yeah, yeah, in so many ways. Um, fitness is a huge part of that. I physically have to move my body every day. You and I both. But not at a hundred percent intensity, right? Like, especially in CrossFit, like I know the days that I can push it, I know the days that I'm my hundred percent is sixty percent, and I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:33

I think of it as letting the balloon go. Like your balloon just fills up, but exercise is you letting the air out, and then it you can you have room to let it fill up again.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:42

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if I'm not in this space, I'm out walking or I'm riding a bike, or I'm moving, I I move my body literally every day in some capacity. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But it makes me so much more present. So to answer your question, um, I find that I love this human experience. I do. It's something that's just even the older I get or the more I learn about myself, um, my spirituality brings me very close to myself. And when I'm well, and I say that because you know, we're not gonna be well all the time, meaning good days and bad days, um, in business and health and all of the things, but when I feel my best, I show up as the version of myself that I want to be. And I want to do that as much as possible for as many people as possible, including myself. And I love that. It gives me such good energy. I just am like so passionate about that. Just life, like life, spirituality, movement, crossfit, all of that. But I find that I am my best self when I take care of myself.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:47

Do you ever feel pressure to be that version of yourself? Because I know for me, I have my own kind of things I have to work through when it comes to how I present myself to other people. Yeah. But I'll feel pressure to have to be a certain way in order to be presentable to other people. And that part of that for me is being my authentic self of like, oh, okay, I don't think the gym today is gonna be the best today just because I don't feel like I'm myself completely. Um do you does that ever get in the way of your grounding or of your of your meditation and you're sitting in silence? And um does that ever get in the way, or like, do you feel that pressure at all, or you're just like, oh man, I'm just gonna be who I am?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:30

That's a good question. Um maybe an older version of myself would have. Okay. Not now, not where I'm not where I'm at now. Um, I'm gonna say this because I don't know if I think this is great. But it's true.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:44

Open and honesty.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:45

I'm really good at showing up, even when sometimes I don't feel like I have the capacity. Sure. If that makes sense. So if it is for somebody else.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:56

I say that self-awareness is very admirable. Not many people have.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:59

And I know, like, hey, I'm not feeling great. Yeah. And I need to be here running the open, which I felt good during the open. So but I'm just using it as an example, or a class that I have to teach, right? I can set that aside because I truly believe that when people are in front of me, I am giving them the like the gift of fitness. And I don't like to mess with that with people. Yeah. So I see that as like, I don't know if it's a great thing. I think sometimes I I do it and I I probably need to be more um compassionate with myself or or ask for help um is something I'm getting better at.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:37

Yeah, well that's a skill in itself is it is a skill in itself. Compartmentalizing, but not burying.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:42

I bury all the time. Yeah. Thinking I'm compartmentalizing, but I'm I'm putting some wet cement over it and not digging it back up. And then putting your rug on top? Yes, and it just builds up. Yeah. And well, I'll put more on than the rug because I think it'll make it look pretty. Yes. And my computer so I can play video games. That's good. I think the something that's helped me a lot, and I I touched on it with you yesterday, but I was like, no, I wanted to save it for when we were we were on camera. Yeah. Um but we were talking a lot about visualization and how within yourself there are different versions of yourself that you could tap into and communicate with. Like there's there's we talked a little bit with the with the um nervous system work that you are learning about. Part of that is you have installments or phases of yourself that exist in you and they respond to different things in different ways.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:35

And I don't know if I learned this from anywhere. I don't think I did, but I learned that this was an actual practice in therapy later on. But I I've done this visualization thing that I fabricated that's helped me a ton. And it was in a time in life where I was way overweight. I just moved here, I was 320 pounds, um, working my desk job at the time, working remote and just living an unhealthy life. And I was I later ended up being at risk for death and in the hospital. Um but through that time as I was navigating and processing that um one night I I got up, it was probably one, two in the morning, I got up and um fun fact, I can't sleep in the heat. And I know it was it was summertime, I can't sleep when it's hot. So I went and I went and went and took a cold shower, try to cool myself down. And I ended up laying down in the shower, and it was pitch black. And I envisioned myself. Have you ever seen the show Merlin? It came out in the early or late 2000s, like early teens. It's um I don't think many people have seen this show. I love it. But think of think of like a big cobblestone castle kind of throne room. Yes. I imagined myself in this big, in this big hall um with a big round table in the middle of it. Um, and it was an open round table, so it wasn't a full circle, and there was a big fire in the middle, and then a chandelier up top. And I imagined four different versions of me sitting at this table. There was me, Angry Me, Sad Me, and then Fearful Me. And I would have a conversation out loud with these people. Um I sounded like I felt like a total psychopath as I was doing this.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:18

And we're all more alike than we are different.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:20

Yes. I felt totally crazy. I'm like, I don't think anybody should know that I'm doing this because this sounds whack. But um, like, especially if you do it sober, you're like, uh, this person needs a doctor. But I stuck, but I started doing that, and I would, as me, me, I would have this prompt for this conversation. And I would fully manifest the emotion of each person and leave out all the others. So if I was talking angry me, it was just my anger. Sad me, just my sadness, fear, just my fear. And when it came back around to real me, I had real me, um, me, me, um, I had this almost just like epiphany because what it felt like was me hearing other people that I didn't allow to speak at all. And it turned into this war room, conference room, like meeting experience of just how do we tackle what's in front of us right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:28

And I haven't done it a lot since. I've done it maybe six or seven times, and that was three years ago. Um gosh, I've been here in Utah for four years now. It's crazy as it doesn't.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:39

It is so crazy.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:39

It is crazy. Um that has helped me a ton when it comes to like when when problems feel so big, they don't feel solvable. Um, but when I can cancel every other sense out, except the feeling like the water was was vital, like I only do it in the shower. Um and I couldn't see anything, I can't hear anything. Um it kind of allowed me to like freeze time, is kind of what it felt like, and give myself a second. Um giving myself the confidence that the time that is passing is not going to affect the severity of whatever consequence is coming just from something in life happening, um, good or bad. And I can just sit there and and and and figure out what not what the small not what the solution is, but what the next step is. Yes. Saying, okay, here's what I can do next. Here's what I can do next.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:36

Um I use that in in business when I so I started my business in November of 2023. This was now like August-ish of 2024. Um I'm at my first rock bottom. I my unemployment was gone because I was relying on that a lot. I was scooping poop on the side and trying to make ends meet. Yeah. And um just a wreck. I'm like, I don't know what to do. Like, do I need to move back home? I was going through all of like the worst case scenario, catastrophizing things.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:10

Which actually is a huge part of the process. It is when you can like actually sit there and be like, okay, all this fear's coming up from like what is actually the worst case scenario, and then you start to realize, like, okay, maybe not in all cases, but it's like, okay, if you did have to move home, is that the worst case scenario? Because maybe not what you want.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:26

Yeah. But giving yourself a little bit of a problem. That would be your story to tell.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:30

But yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:31

Yeah, but I I did I did this visual visualization thing again, and I I forgot what question I asked myself, but it was along the lines of should I keep this going? Yeah. And I told Angry, Sad and Fearful Me to be as honest as possible. Don't lie to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:47

Um, and that was just me telling myself to be honest with myself. So I'll translate that. But um every single version of me was like, you have to keep going. You have to keep going. And I was genuinely considering, as my friend did when closing his business down, of like, do I need to find somewhere else so we can make this life happen?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:08

Um, and every one of them was like, yeah, this hurts, but I think we can do it. And a week later I got my biggest client at that point in time.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:15

I love it.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:16

It was it was like clockwork.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:17

I love it. So so so I don't think I put a name to this, but a lot of the neuroplasticity work that I have done is that would be called a test.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:25

And it's like, do you really want Did you really want this? Yes. And yeah, you passed. Like that's the universe, or you know, whatever you want to call it.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:35

Um, saying, like, do you really want this? And I think a lot of times in those cases, like if we're just talking just candidly, which we are, but like so many times I don't think we're being honest with ourselves. Sure. You know, like they're and and I think that's a whole other skill set in and of itself to to unlayer and pull, peel back all the onion layers and it's easy if the question to answer as you think.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:56

No, but I'm having this conversation with my therapist right now with relationships. So I've never dated, and I and my my end goal in life, if I have one, I would love to experience marriage, experience family in this life. That's something I I deeply desire. Yeah. And at least I tell myself I deeply desire. And I'm having these conversations with my therapist in some ways, and she's like, Do you really want it? And she and the point that she was getting at is your actions do not reflect that you actually want what you say you want.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:26

And that could have been business, it's for me, it's just in relationships, or even in business, it shows up for itself as well. The kinds of clients that I want are not showing up because my actions are not representing the actual results that I want.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:39

Um that is so much more complicated, or not complicated, but harder to figure out and process than I thought. I was like, well, I feel like I want it, so I want it. And then she keeps saying, Yeah, but do you want it? And I get frustrated because I'm like, I just told you I want it. But she had a point.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:57

Um that's uh yeah, that's a whole nother thing, too.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:00

We could talk for six hours on all that, but we could, and I, you know, I'm not a trained therapist at all. However, I did go to school. I my college degree is psychology, which is so interesting because I feel like, man, I use that so much more than Matacondre is the powerhouse of the cell. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:16

That's all I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:16

Um, you know, talk about the universe and like how things come together. Like my 42-year-old self wanted, well, my 42-year-old self looks at my life now and it's like, oh my gosh. I actually can have that like full circle moment of like, this is why my life played out the way that it did when we just talk about career and all those things. At this moment, when I was in college, I wanted to go to school for um sports psychology and then kinesiology, that was on the table too, and then nutrition. And at the time the University of Utah, that's where I went, um, didn't have any of those programs. Um, or they had one, but it like there was it just didn't work out. So I ended up getting a psychology degree. Come to find out that I did not. That was not what resonated with me after I graduated. Um, it wasn't I didn't want to do social work, I and that's what I needed to do, or else I needed to go on and get a master's. All those things.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:10

Because you kind of do that now all the time. In a very unprofessional I do it all the time.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:15

And you know what's funny is I'm like, I do, I do it all the time. I almost probably use my psychology more than I do my fitness. Sure. Right? Or my my expertise in that realm. But and then fast forward, you know, like a decade. So like 20-year-old self went to school and got a psychology degree. Then I tried a decade's worth of work. And then 30, I became level one certified, 2930, whatever the timeline was. And, you know, now at 42, but at this, you know, and I was doing CrossFit before all of that. But now at 42, I'm like, oh, that's because I was supposed to learn it from CrossFit and and go in on to like learn the nutrition that I wanted to, um, that I actually believed in, that actually works because I mean, I so strongly believe that CrossFit and nutrition is the fundamental of health.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:03

And I, you know, it it just it's so cool to see that full full circle moment. Yeah. Where I'm like, oh, the universe blocked me then, so because that's not what was meant for me at the time. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:14

We'll look at you now.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:15

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:16

It's crazy. Mackenzie, answer me this in five words. What makes you smile?

SPEAKER_02 1:16:24

My husband.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:25

My husband.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:26

That's two?

SPEAKER_04 1:16:27

That's two. Oh, we'll do one. I'll do one.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:29

Okay, husband, babies, um, authenticity, gratitude. And uh fitness.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:43

Fitness. There you go. Mackenzie, thank you so much for being on this podcast. Let everybody know where they can find you.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:50

Oh, awesome. Um, you can find us online at tectonfitness.com. We're also located here in Murray, Utah. And we're on Instagram, TectonFitness.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:00

Please check them out, guys. Mackenzie, thank you for coming.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:02

Thank you, Chase. It's a pleasure.