FROG Discipleship

People Follow Care Before They Follow Knowledge

• Nick

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SPEAKER_00

Welcome to Frog Discipleship. Nick here. Thank you for being here with us today, where we forever rely on God. It's a beautiful day here in Texas. Going to enjoy my cup of coffee as I record this episode. So if you hear any pauses, it's me sipping on some talking. So we're going to be in the book of Romans, chapter 12, verses 9 through 21 today. And we're going to be talking about relationships, true authentic relationships, because people follow care before they follow knowledge. And what that means is people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care, because people follow care before they follow knowledge. So the sooner you embrace this, the better it will be for you. And what I'm asking you to embrace is recognizing your impact that you have on people's life, either for good or for bad. Everybody is a leader in some shape, form, or fashion. But many people think that leadership comes from position only, the amount of knowledge that they have, their talent, their skill set, having the best ideas. But real lasting leadership is built through relationships. Because again, people don't, they they do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. They want to know that they are valued in your eyes. It's not just, well, what can you do for me? You know, it's not a one-sided relationship, it's a give and take. So today, I'm just going to read this passage of scripture. It's kind of lengthy, but then we're going to break it down because it's very important. And it says, again, Romans chapter 12, starting at verse 9. I'm coming out of the New King James Version, and the reason why I'm coming out of the New King James Version is I like it the best. It's a complete translation. A lot of people don't like the King James because of the way it's written, so to me, I think this is a good compromise. But here we go. Let's get into it. And it reads, Let love be without hypocrisy, abhor what is evil, cling to what is good, be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor, giving preference to one another, not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoice in hope, patient in tribulation, continuingly continuing steadfast in prayer. Distributing to the needs of the saints given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse, rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind towards one another, do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble, and do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath. For it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. Therefore, if your enemy is hungry, feed him, if he is thirsty, give him a drink, for in doing so you will heap coals of fire on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. I mean, that it we can end right there. This is such a profound passage of scripture, and we're gonna go through it kind of verse by verse. So let love be without hypocrisy, abhor what is evil and cling to what is good. Avoid hypocrisy, don't be a hypocrite, be genuine in who you are. Don't fake caring for people. Be authentic, be sincere and honest with the people that are around you. Because that is how loyalty is built by being loyal to others. You lose all kinds of, you either lose or damage relationships when they when they feel like you're being fake, you're not being authentic, you're not being genuine, and that you're just trying to manipulate them to for self-gain or whatever the case may be. So stop with the hypocrisy. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. That's what scripture says. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. And create lasting relationships. Because if you want people to be loyal to you, be loyal to them. If you're adding value to them, let them, they will add value to you in return. Treat people like family. Stay loyal to friends, to co-workers, to family. And I tell people this all the time. Communicate. Well, they don't communicate with me. Two wrongs don't make a right people. You know how many people I communicate with on a daily basis or on a weekly basis or on a monthly basis? That the only reason why I'm talking to them is because I pick up the phone and I called them or I sent that text message. They don't call me, and that's okay. But that's if that's what I have to do to maintain good, solid relationships because they appreciate it. People need roughly around 12 minutes a day to talk to somebody. So if I can be that person for somebody, let me be that person. Even if they don't realize it and I have to make that phone call for them, it doesn't matter to me. I don't, I don't let that be a hindrance to maintaining my loyalty to those who I care about, whether they're in the my, whether they're my immediate family, my friends, my church members, it doesn't matter. Because I want to, if I want to maintain a solid, healthy relationship with those people, it's up to me. I'm responsible for me and how I act with them. Nothing wrong with having desires to, you know, to have them try to interact with you more. But at the end of the day, it's up to you. So we have to avoid hypocrisy, abhor what is evil and cling to what is good. Hypocrisy is evil, cling to what is good, be a good human, be genuine, create lasting relationship. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love and honor giving preference to one another. This is verse 10. You know, we we struggle with this, being kindly affectionate with one another with brotherly love and honoring giving preference to one another. Stop making everything about yourself. I know we're selfish people, but by nature, that's our human nature, is selfishness. Stop it. That's not what we need to do. Stop making everything about yourself. Learn to value the needs of others. One of the best things you can do to add value to people is listen. And when I say listen, I'm talking about actively listening, not reactively listening. And what the difference is, actively listening is you're clearly listening to every single word that they have to say. Whether it's a minute, whether they're going on a tangent, actively listening, reactively listening as you they say something and you hold on to that one piece and you already got your response, and you have tuned out the rest of what they have to say. We have to actively listen to respond to create that unity in that relationship and maintain that bond and not just reactively listen. You know, give preference to others. Stop making everything about yourself. When you're having a conversation with someone, let them share their successes in it. Don't try to make everything back about you. Let them have their moment. Give them that, you know. When we go to verse, you know, not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoice in hope, patient in tribulation, continually, stead, continuing steadfastly in prayer. So when we are looking at this, we're we're seeing a lot. Fervent in spirit, serving the Lord. You have to make time and spend time with Jesus. See, I struggled yesterday. Yesterday was was a rough day for me. I get up in the morning, start out as a normal day. My mom's in the hospital. Try to go to the hospital to see her, my wife, she's fixing to go out of town for a couple days for work. We were going to go grab a quick bite to eat, go to see my mom in the hospital. But before we ever very, you know, my truck broke down, that took place. I blew up at my daughter, and it was on me. She, I shouldn't ever done that. But anyway, it was the perfect storm type deal, right? Because I allowed my situation to define me instead of me defining and overcoming my situation. The fact of the matter was my prayer life has been lacking. My intimate time with the Lord has been lacking, and that's why it means not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord. We have to make time with Jesus. If you're not making time with Jesus, you're going to lose your Jesus, is what I like to say, and you're going to have those bad moments. Now, everybody has bad moments, yes, but we want to try to keep those bad moments minimal, meaning they don't happen all the time. We want to be a person that is honorable, hospitable, loving, kind, all these different things. Rejoice in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer. To be patient in tribulation. That's hard. Tribulation is difficult. That's what that means. You know, and scripture tells us that we are to find joy in our tribulation. Well, this is where we struggle, is we want everything to just be about me, that we want God to give us a handout. That's not how life works. That's not how God works. That's not how he even teaches in scripture. If you want to strengthen your skill and learn patience and learn love and all that stuff, he's going to give you some wretched people to love. He's going to give you some difficulty situations to overcome, to maintain your anger, to self-control, and all those stuff, to maintain patience. He puts you in a crises, if you will, to give you the opportunity to sink or swim, to apply godly principles or not. And the better, the closer you are with Jesus, the your success rate of overcoming that situation in a godly manner is higher. Because you are being fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, being patient in tribulations, continuingly, continuing steadfastly in prayer. That's how we overcome that moment. When we look at verse 13, distributing to the needs of the saints, giving to hospitality. Well, if we're not finding value, if we're so consumed with self, we're never going to be hospitable. We're never going to look at ways or look for ways to help people or try to meet the needs when we can because we become so self-absorbed. And when we're so self-absorbed, we're not being steadfast in prayer, we're not being fervent in the spirit, we're not spending time with the Lord, we're doing everything wrong. Well, if you're doing everything in an unbiblical manner, in an unbiblical manner, you're going to get unbiblical results. If you want godly results in your life, do it the godly way. Spend time with Jesus, be fervent in the Spirit, steadfast in prayer, be hospitable, you know, love your neighbor as yourself. But what we what we typically do is what is spoken in verse 14. Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. We don't do that. We don't bless those who persecute us. No, no, no, no. We want retaliation, we want revenge. That's that's not that doesn't belong to us. We want it, but that is not the godly way. Just because you can do something, just because you can say something, doesn't mean you should. But being a Christian is not acting like everybody else, not acting within the fleshly desires that you want to act. Being a Christian, being a solid Christian in your faith is acting differently. We are not to return evil for evil, but we are we are to return evil with good. Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. That's hard. Bless that word bless, showing compassion, showing care, showing love. Hey, how can I help you today? Someone that's just being downright rude and hateful to you. You know, we're not meant to lower to their standard. How do you usually respond when someone hurts you or is is rude to you? Well, for me, I think when we go on in in verses uh 15, it really helps us identify the need, rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. If we want to not have not, if we want to not act in the flesh, we need to connect with those around us. All right. If someone is having a bad day, why? Why are you having a bad day? See, I was able to, after my blowup with my daughter, I would not only did I apologize, because it was 100% me, it was my fault. I was wrong. I told her, hey, babe girl, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'm overwhelmed right now. Gran is in the hospital, my truck's not working. I'm just, I'm at my max. It doesn't justify it, right? But I needed her to understand that her dad is under a lot of pressure right now in this moment. So it was just my way to help identify with her my situation or get her to identify with me, if you will. And we need to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Get connected with them. Identify with them. If they're having a bad day, listen. Celebrate with people. Uh, you know, connect with people who are hurting, hurt with other people. You know, am I emotionally present with others? Whether it's good or bad, are you there? Are you connecting with people like you should? Or are you just there taking up space? That's the question. Because if everything is about relationships, leaderships, people follow care before they follow knowledge. They need to know that you care. You do that by identifying with them, getting on the same page. That's what Paul did. That's what made Paul such an effective evangelist. He got into the culture, he learned their ways, learned their thought process, and ministered to them. He identified with them. And in order to identify with them, we have to be open-minded towards others. Look at verse 16. Be of the same mind towards one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble, humble, and do not be wise in your own opinion. What this is this is telling us, you know what's the same? Put put yourself in my shoes type deal. Walk a mile in their shoes, be open-minded. And it this is this is across the board in anything. I don't care if it's just a simple misunderstanding to where, you know, hey, you know, this person is LGBTQ. It doesn't matter. Put yourself in their shoes. Because on a simple misunderstanding, that's easy. Okay, my bad. I misunderstood, yada, yada, yada. But on a on a solid issue, such as like, okay, uh homosexual or transgender type deal, well, well, how how do we identify with them? Well, talk with them. What they had to get to this thought to see, to make it be accepted in their mind somehow. And typically, they are a pro people are a product of their raising. It was taught, it was put down their throat, if you will, and forced upon them, and this is the only way that they knew. So that's how they turned out. As soon as the sooner we can be open-minded and identify with others, whether we agree or not, that's irrelevant. We can always agree to disagree on something. But when we are open-minded, not only do we stay teachable to where we are building that relationship, to where then they are more likely to hear what we have to say and allow us to be that leader. Connecting with people from all backgrounds. That's what Paul did. That's what made him such an effective person in the ministry. He didn't judge them. No one wants to be judged. No one wants to be looked down upon. No one wants to think that they're not worthy. Love them. The greatest commandment: love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love your, excuse me, love your neighbor as yourself. On these two hang all the laws of the prophet. It is simple. Relationships matter. Relationships are built on love towards one another, identifying respect, communication. This is how we move forward and make an impact. Because, and it's not it's not acting in the flesh. In verse 17, repay no evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. We can't retaliate. Just because someone did something wrong towards you does not mean you need to get revenge. Let the revenge take place by God. Treat everyone with respect. Period. Even if you don't like them, you can still be kind to them. You can still be respectful towards them. Respect should not depend on status. Every person has value. The sooner you can see that that person has value, even if it's a small amount of value in your opinion, is still there. Treat them as such. Do everything possible to keep the peace. In verse 18, if it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. We are meant to be a peaceful people, not angry, arrogant, loud, annoying, obnoxious people. Meant to live peaceable. If it is possible, well, what does that mean? It's not always possible to depend or to be peaceable. So that's why it says, if it is possible, as much as depends on you, if someone is coming at you and treating you very rude and disrespectful, well, you can't help that. You can remove yourself from that situation, and that's what you can do. Remove yourself from that situation. You don't have to be around it. But you don't have to go toe-to-toe with them, and just because they're being rude to you, well, now I'm gonna be rude to them. No, no, no. As if it is possible, as much depends on you, live peaceably with all men, everybody. With everybody, as much as depends on you. You are only responsible for your actions. You can't be responsible for others. But if someone is mistreating you, it doesn't mean you need to stick around and just continue. To take it, because if you continue to take it for too long, you will compromise your integrity, your testimony, and next thing you know, it all that is damage. But live peaceably. Beloved, do not avenge yourself. This is verse 19, but rather give place to wrath, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will pay, says the Lord. Therefore, if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in doing so, you will heap coals of fire on his head. We do not need to seek revenge. Remove revenge from your life. Do not avenge yourself. Let God handle it. And I know a lot of people are like, well, Nick, you don't understand. So and so has happened. I'm not going to pretend for a moment that I have all the answers and that this is easy to achieve. But I do know in my experience in life, when I do things God, when I do things God's way, I get godly results. When I do things man's way, I get worldly results. Godly results outweigh worldly results every single time, in my experience. So I get a lot of current comfort in this because I've been mistreated by a lot of people. I have had people try to uh take my uh name and just run it through the mud and and and and just tear me down. And I just remind myself, and this is inside the church, outside the church, it doesn't matter. I just, you know, say my peace in a very kind, loving manner, and I walk away. And I just remind myself, Lord, thank you. Because they're going to get there. And I always have to remember, no matter what I could do to a person, it's small compared to what God is going to do to them. Hell is fought far worse. Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. And by killing them with kindness, right? That's kind of the phrase. Your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him a drink. For doing so, you will heap coals of fire on his head. By doing things God's way, what we are doing is that punishment that God is going to give them is going to be far worse because we are sticking to what we know to do, and that's at Christ-like. We are not allowing our situation to determine us, but we who we are in Christ are overcoming that situation. Now we all have bad moments, all have bad days. Fix it and don't let it be your normal. And I think the most important verse of this entire chapter: do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. You have a choice. You have a choice. Leadership and influence are built on relationships. People may forget your words, but they will always remember your actions, how you treated them, how you cared for them, and whether they felt valued around you. Fact. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. You have a choice. You do not have to act ungodly. Period. Just because you can say something, just because you can do something, does not mean you should. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Christ is always the answer. Again, if you want godly results in your life, do it God's way. If you want worldly results in your life, do it the way of the world. And then you're going to be pissed off and hurt and be like, oh, well, and cry, poor, poor, pitiful me. Well, guys, I'm telling you, do things the way Jesus did, and your life will be far better. You just have to realize that. Do not be overcome by evil. How do we avoid being overcome by evil? Spend intimate time with Jesus in prayer, in reading, going to church, listening to podcasts like this. Grow in your faith. By doing that and making sure that your spirit has the proper nutrients in which it needs, you will not be overcome by evil, but you will overcome evil with good. Just as your body needs nutrients to live, so does your spirit. Your spirit needs time with Jesus. Through prayer, through reading of his word, through time with the body of Christ, iron sharpens iron. It is time for you to maintain your spiritual health, so therefore you do not overcome or you don't do evil with evil, but you overcome evil with good. Period. When we say welcome to Frog Discipleship, frog is forever rely on God. That's what it means. To forever rely on God means you're not relying on self. You're trusting in God to do it, to guide you. You just have to get out of your own way and let God take control. Well, thank you so very much for listening. I hope that this helps you today. Thank you and God bless.