Minisode: RHORI S1E1-3

BUT HE IS, MA.

Welcome to our first minisode! Join us as we digress about the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. We discuss the first three episodes of the current, ongoing first season. 

thank you for listening queenifers!

digress & confess was created by us - holly, nick , & melissa. the show's music was mixed by nick, with credit to kevin macleod. the show is edited by nick (& sometimes melissa). thank you to brian for your editing guidance. thank you to jess for taking our show photo.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Digress and confess. Hey. It's a mini episode, our first mini episode of Digress and Confess.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

Yeah, our first mini episode. Um, we are going to be discussing the real housewives of Rhode Island. PETA.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

PETA. So as of recording, there are three episodes out. Yes. Correct.

SPEAKER_04 0:32

Do we want to just talk about all three of them? Do we want to go one at a time? What do we want?

SPEAKER_01 0:35

I think we're going to have to talk about them as a whole because I won't be able to split them apart. I also can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

I know. Yeah. Well, I said this to you when before we recorded, but I said that enough time has passed where and I've consumed so much content in between that I am struggling to remember what happened, but I know that I like it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

So we got a we got a really drunk meltdown last episode from Liz. Yeah. Which I loved. It was kind of giving a Meredith meltdown. Yeah. I think this has been your passion project. Do you want to go first? I guess it has been my little passion project.

SPEAKER_04 1:07

It's just been fun just to like dive into uh like a real housewives franchise from the beginning. Yeah. Because this is really the first time I've done that.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

This is like your Salt Lake City, how Salt Lake City was for us.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

It is, because I'm like starting from trying to ground real time.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

It is.

SPEAKER_04 1:21

It's actually really fun. It's so fun to watch in real time. I get the hype.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

I love episodic television.

SPEAKER_04 1:26

It's really fun. Yeah. It's great. Um but yeah, so far I'm loving the women. When I first started, I was really confused because they all looked the same.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

And I was like, And I'm still struggling, I'll be honest.

SPEAKER_04 1:36

Yeah, but I mean, once I was able to like pick out certain attributes about each of them, it's been easier. It was I'm loving that they're just diving head first into all the drama. I love the most recent episode where the husbands go at it for a little bit. And of course, this is only this is truly only the second real Housewives franchise that I've seen.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:58

So I'm like, the rumors, the nastiness is like really what Housewives is all about. And absolutely love it. Yeah. I just there's yeah, and then figuring out like who hates who or who's mad at who for starting or bringing up whatever rumor. I love it. Are you kidding?

SPEAKER_02 2:16

I love the interpersonal problems of like groups of friends and people. I want to know. I want what's what's your drama? What's the drama in your life? Like, I'd like to watch it unfold prep, like preferably with Bravo recording it and broadcasting it.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

And I think that's why we're all housewives work when works best when they actually know each other and they're not just casting into the show. Exactly. When they actually have a personal relationship because it gets personal. Like Lisa's famous hot mic moment on Meredith. Meredith fucking horse. She's fucked up in New York. Yeah. Who's your favorite? Rory. Rari.

SPEAKER_04 2:51

Rari. I think I like Alicia.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

I like her.

SPEAKER_04 2:54

She's the one with the doll collection.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Speak on that.

SPEAKER_04 2:58

Wild to me. Okay. When when they first showed Alicia's home and they had like the stacks of dolls in the background, I noticed. I said, what is that? I just assumed it was for her daughter's daughter.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

I think she has like a 10-year-old daughter or something.

SPEAKER_04 3:12

And I was like, okay, the fact that it's like in the living room is like a weird trick.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Like a lot of dolls for a kid to have out.

SPEAKER_04 3:18

I love that too. But all I really saw was like the doll house, and then something was inside it. I didn't realize the number of them in there. But I said there was just something very like beautiful about it, very like simple that I kind of like latched onto that I love. And I love that Rory started with Alicia, Alicia's aunt or something, trying to be like, when are you gonna marry? When are you gonna marry?

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Right.

SPEAKER_04 3:42

And I was like, and then it went to the next scene to the house like Krakas.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Cheese and Krakas.

SPEAKER_04 3:47

Cheese and Krakas.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

She needs a cob.

SPEAKER_04 3:48

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

I love it. I love the accents. They all sound like Lois Griffin. And I can't get enough.

SPEAKER_04 3:56

Okay, but what about you guys? First impressions.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Um loving it so far. You know, of course, it takes me a while to like really get to know the women. But I would say my fave, who I believe that they're setting up to be the villain of the season, is Joelen. Oh yeah. Joelen's bringing the drama. She is. And I'm I'm into it. I like Joelyn and I also like Liz um kind of riding what's what'd she call the little dinghy, the little boat across the bay to go meet someone for lunch. Like I just I really am kind of obsessed with the image of her having like a cocktail or two and getting on like a tiny boat and like sailing home. That feels very like quintessential Rhode Island to me. I've never been to Rhode Island, but I imagine like that's what it's like there.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Um one of my colleagues was like, Yeah, I have the bridge is closed, so I have to take the ferry to work. What?

SPEAKER_02 4:47

Can't imagine having to take a boat to work.

SPEAKER_04 4:51

Crazy.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

I took my boat from my house, a boat from my house to work, and it was a commuter ferry. Like that was its purpose, and I'm just like, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_04 5:00

Whoa.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

I can't imagine, like, I do think I would be much happier generally in life if I got to go on like a little boat ride, a short little boat ride every day, feeling that sea breeze on my face.

SPEAKER_04 5:13

That fresh air on the way to work.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Are you kidding? Wow, it's very Norman fucking Rockwell. It is, and you know I love that. Yes. And we do have to recreate that album cover.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

And we will, we will.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

Um, but yeah, I'm loving it. And yeah, I guess I just can't wait to see what unfolds. I do think Rosie looks identical to Whitney Rose, but with a brown wig. I think they are facially so similar because they both have like the um kind of the Botox filler, like overly symmetrical face kind of thing going on. But yeah, I do think that Rosie and Rit and Whitney Rose look identical. That's what I'm saying. Rosie just has brown hair.

SPEAKER_04 5:52

Yeah, I think Rosie also has just more of a flat affect. I don't know. There's something about it that's just like, I'm just here, you guys.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

She's she's not my fave.

SPEAKER_04 5:59

The eyes are the same size at all times.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

Yeah, she's not she's not my fave.

SPEAKER_04 6:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

And I do think that like she she could never win against Joellen.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

No, she no, she can't, no.

SPEAKER_01 6:09

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

And could anyone?

SPEAKER_03 6:11

Nah.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

But yeah, I like Joellen, I like Liz. Um, those are the two women who are standing out most to me. I loved the um Dolores cameo. Yeah because Liz and Dolores do look identical and they do have the same plastic surgeon, which I loved. Yeah. I also think that like obviously with all the Real Housewives franchises, all of these women are like extremely wealthy, but there is something about Rhode Island where they feel like extra wealthy, like more than other franchises. I don't know. I feel like Liz, like they all live on like compounds. Yeah. I don't know. The wealth is something that felt very like whoa to me. Like their houses are just so crazy.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

And the real estate on the ocean and stuff is expense of ass shit.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

I don't know. It's just it seems like a different type of wealth than other franchises have. Um, so I don't know. It's a little like spooky, spooky wealth. They have spooky wealth, many of them. Spooky wealth. I am very um I'm looking forward to, and I can't remember her name, the pageant girl. What is her name? The one who's dating the older guy? Yeah, the one who's in an open religion prison.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

Kelsey.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

Kelsey. Kelsey, yeah. I'm very interested to see her storyline unfold because like she is just like alone in a 16,000 square foot house waiting for her man to come home.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

I know.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

It's very it's a weird dynamic. I don't understand it. But yeah, I mean, hey, her her relationship dynamic is certainly unique. Um, but yeah, it kind of seems like it's for both of them. Like she's very like, I want to have kids in a family, and he's never gonna give that to me. And so we both know what this is. So it is very like there's an arrangement there for sure. But clocks, clocks ticking, clocks ticking, and yeah, I do think that she is it is kind of crazy to just be alone in a 16,000 square foot house by yourself all the time. Like we gotta give this girl something to do.

SPEAKER_03 8:15

I know. I mean, she's got her her maid.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

Oh, yeah, yeah. And I do love you can always tell when someone on Housewives, any franchise, is like a deeply lonely person when like their best friend is like their employees. It's very Bethany Frankel, like her best friends are her employees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can tell that there's like a kind of pity there from the employee. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's tough, it's tough to see. So can't wait to see that unfold.

SPEAKER_04 8:46

Can't wait. I love it. Okay, what about you, Melissa? First impressions.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

I'm loving it. I love Rhode Island. I've been there twice and I love it there. So I'm loving the accents. I think Liz, I've immediately warmed her. She's my favorite. I think uh she's just so quintessential, like like just just funny, wealthy plastic surgeon, like just kind of doesn't give a fuck, like looks like she tanned outside every minute of her life. Um, I also kind of rough around the edges. Yeah, kind of rough around the edges. I loved when she's talking to Rula about her husband cheating, like Rula's husband is constantly cheating. Immediately, my favorite thing of the season is when Rula's like, he's not cheating, and Liz goes, Buddy is Ma. That was my favorite moment of the season so far. She's real. Buddy is Ma. Like, and she's right, he is obviously cheating. Very obviously on the most represent episode at the Studio 54 party. They're talking, and she's like, Well, he's not cheating anymore. And she's like, say it. And he's like, He can't be silent, he can't say it because it's not true. Because he's obviously cheating. Yeah. Um, so I love Liz, I like Joelan, I don't like Rosie. Yeah, I think Rosie's a flop, and I also think she's faking her wealth. Like they live in a one bedroom, like her husband's a developer. I'm gonna put that in air quotes. And her outfits, people have been online calling her out from wearing like Amazon and like Boohoo and like pretty cheap outfits. Um, which, you know, some people who are wealthy do just wear cheap shit.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

She well, she her and the pageant girl, I think, are quite young for housewives. Like they're like our age. Yes, they're very young, which usually housewives I would say are like late 30s at the youngest. So it has been an interesting, sorry to interrupt you, it has been like interesting to see young women or like people our age on housewives. Yeah. Makes me feel like maybe I could do it.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Maybe a housewives. But yeah, I feel like she's kind of giving, I don't know, she's giving flop. Uh she's giving, yeah, I don't like her. I really don't like her. She just rubs me the wrong way. Yeah. Um, and I don't think she's interesting enough. I think the other women have stronger personalities than her. I agree. Um but I love it. I'm I'm enjoying it. I love, I love, I love these ladies, and I'm excited to see where they take us. I also like Alicia. The dolls killed me. And you know what? Here's a confession on the bonus episode is I do think that if I allowed myself, I could get really into dolls, like as an adult. Yeah. Oh, really? I love Barbies. I love Barbies. I love watching videos of Barbie collectors. Like I could get I don't think the dolls that she had I would get into. I was gonna say I would get very into Barbies if I allowed that for myself.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Enemy of the Pod was also my enemy due to her having a bunch of um American Girl dolls, and I wanted them. Wow. Um, but yeah, I love them. I'm enjoying the season, and I it's fun to watch a new a new friend. I've never watched a new franchise while it's been happening because I think I came out of Salt Lake City of the second or third season. Um, so this is my first time watching a brand new franchise as it's happening. Um, and I think it has some staying power. Like I think it seems like they'll get renewed. It seems like everybody is kind of liking it. I think Joellen and Liz have secured their, what is it, clam? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

Is that what they have? Yeah, they have like uh um oysters. An oysters.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

I think they've secured their oyster for the next season. Those are our thoughts, guys. Hope you enjoyed our mini soad.

SPEAKER_04 12:16

Thanks for coming, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

Bye. Bye. Thank you for listening to The Grassing Confess. Our show was created and produced by us, Holly, Nick, and Melissa. Our show was edited by Nick. Our music is also by Nick. The views we share on our podcast are our own and do not represent the views of our employers. If you enjoyed hanging out with us, please rate and review wherever you're listening.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

T T Y Lik