Up and Adam Is Don Don's Cousin

DRUGS ARE ENOUGH.

Holly, Nick, and Melissa chat about prescription medications, medicated queens, and bell jars being lifts. Nick reveals his favorite emotion is nostalgia (objectively insane), Holly gives us more about Coachella, and Melissa's locking in on mental health. 

Are you that lizard person at a concert? And how do you know? Yeah, consider. 

thank you for listening queenifers!

digress & confess was created by us - holly, nick , & melissa. the show's music was mixed by nick, with credit to kevin macleod. the show is edited by nick (& sometimes melissa). thank you to brian for your editing guidance. thank you to jess for taking our show photo.

follow the show on instagram @digressconfesspod for the latest!

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:11

Digress and come to us.

SPEAKER_04 0:17

I always tell people, if everybody anybody ever tells me they're constipated, I give them my foolproof way to get unconstipated, which I've never done because that'd be way too dangerous for me, but I know it to work because I've done it on accident a little bit, is stop eating at like five or six, don't have anything after dinner, wake up, don't have breakfast, get a venti cold brew with cream and down it in like 10 or 15 minutes. And I promise you that you will shit. Yeah, you will shit. A venti cold brew with cream on an empty stomach after not having any food after fasting. I promise you it'll come out. It'll come out.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

And this is medical advice.

SPEAKER_03 0:59

It is medical.

SPEAKER_04 1:02

This has been tested by science.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

It has. It has. I don't think I could have a venti cold brew because I do think I die from a heart attack, but yeah, same.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

I don't know if I could do that.

SPEAKER_04 1:11

You could get a decaf or a half calf though.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Huh?

SPEAKER_03 1:14

For the cold brew? Yeah. I didn't know that they could do that at Starbucks. I thought it was pretty good.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

I mean, I guess for the cold brew, you probably can't get half calf, but you can get a decaf, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

Are we gonna get canceled if we're talking about Starbucks?

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Probably.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

Sorry, I still drink it, I'll be honest.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

I just avoid buying coffee out anywhere because I'm like, I can't buy from any coffee shop right now outside of Dun Brothers, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 1:35

How about there's no ethical consumption under capitalism?

SPEAKER_01 1:38

You got it. You got it.

SPEAKER_04 1:39

Unfortunately, every place is very bad. And you know what I'm realizing lately too is like, and I, you know, maybe we can bleep this one because I feel like this is a bad take, but small businesses are also bad. Yeah, yeah, they're not allowed and sometimes worse than larger businesses.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Tell me more.

SPEAKER_04 1:55

Because Buck your local corner store, shop on Amazon, use Amazon Target exclusively.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

I do want more though. What do you what do you want?

SPEAKER_04 2:02

No, but like uh listen, obviously, I'm being what do you call that? Facetious. Facetious. Yes. But like there's so many stories of like bad bosses and like people who are truly like at Target, I feel like if you work there, like it kind of sucks, but like you know what the deal is, right? Right versus like shit I've heard about places in Minneapolis, it's like uh Honey, honey, and Holly knows Holly has lived it, but I feel like there's so many, or like you know, like all this kind of shit where like all of these places, the I think the the personal part of it, the fact that like you know the owner and you know the business, they're ultimately like a business owner, right? Like they're somebody who like has people in their employee and has a lot of power, and I feel like a normal person having that, they sort of go crazy. They do, yeah, and I don't know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Right.

SPEAKER_04 2:54

I completely agree, yeah. Yeah, so it's hard to shop ethically.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

It is anywhere, yeah. Yeah, it's just interesting because I worked at a small business where it did feel like everything was mostly ethically.

SPEAKER_04 3:08

I feel like yours is true. Shout out Krimy Lambert. I know that's what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

And that's what I was like when I think about small businesses, like I think about my experience there. I think you have a rare one though. What?

SPEAKER_04 3:18

I think you have a more rare experience.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Yeah, and I would agree with that because I like every time I like went into work, it felt like it wasn't real. Like I was like, honestly, everything here is really great. I feel respected, I feel heard, and we're like getting stuff done, and I can like trust that the the owners are doing well, not only financially, but also ethically and managerially. Like everything was was great.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

I do feel like that is particularly rare in like hospitality service.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Yeah, like customer service kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

No, like service industry, yeah, like hairstyle. Yeah. So like the beauty industry, restaurants, etc., I think are like particularly awful when it comes to the business owners. Yeah, uh listeners, as you may or may not know, I was a hairstylist for a very long time.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

How many, how many years was that?

SPEAKER_03 4:14

I count school. I count school as experience.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

And that was 2012, 2013?

SPEAKER_03 4:20

2013 to 2021.

SPEAKER_04 4:25

Almost a decade.

SPEAKER_03 4:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:26

I mean, you still do hair.

SPEAKER_03 4:27

I still do hair, yeah. And so I I say that I've been doing hair for over a decade. Which is true. Yeah. Um, but professionally I was only in salons for like what would that be, like eight years? Yeah. Yeah. But still, um, yeah, I would say be wary of small businesses that um are like how do I say this? I know. Be wary of small businesses that are overly woke. And I don't mean that in like uh like, you know, be aware of like the politics of the places you're visiting, of course. But I don't know, there's something about the small businesses that are like really kind of chronically online, really like letting everyone know about their politics.

SPEAKER_04 5:13

But only run by white people.

SPEAKER_03 5:14

Yes, but only run by white people. Like, I don't know, be wary of like overly woke white woman business owners because more often than not, they're they don't hire black people, and when they do, they treat them like shit. And um, yeah, they're secretly like terrorists behind the scenes, many such cases. Yeah. I don't know, and maybe that's like exclusive to Minneapolis. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 5:36

I think there is like a woke competition in Minneapolis.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

There is a woke, there is always a woke off in Minneapolis. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That'd be a good title of app. What did we say the title of app was gonna be? I don't remember. Let me pull up my notes, and I'm glad that you made me write it down.

SPEAKER_04 5:49

I was also gonna say one good small business though is All Square, which helps people after they get out of incarceration, and it actually is from what I have heard in the nonprofit circles, actually good small business, and also the girl cheese there is fucking incredibly good. Okay. I actually Jared and I were saying we have to make sure we go there before we move because like the girl cheese is so fucking good. You gotta go. And it's a good, it's a good cause.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

Oh what is the difference? Up in Adam is Don Don's cousin. And can you can you unpack that, Holly?

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Okay, let's start from the beginning.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

Welcome welcome back. Welcome back to our podcast called Digressing Confess, where we do both of those things. And we had a lovely afternoon at a a beautiful local business called the Briar. And we don't have to bleep that out because that place is awesome. Yeah. So, and if it's not, don't tell us. That's right. And if it's not, don't tell us. But I did see someone sort of um make a grammar mistake on Instagram reels, as many people do, and it said they she was trying to say up and Adam, like A-T-E-M, like up and at them. But she said up and Adam, like the man's name. Like Adam and Eve. Yes, yeah. So up and Adam is Don Don's cousin, and Don Don was a grammar mistake for D-A-W-N-E-D-O-N. Like it dawned on me. It dawned on me. But Don, double Don, kind of like Don. D-O-N. There are many famous Don't. Trump, Draper, Cheadle, Osmond.

SPEAKER_04 7:32

I feel like the lead singer of the Eagles might be named Don.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

Maybe. A crazy woman I used to work with.

unknown 7:41

Don.

SPEAKER_04 7:42

Yeah. So it dawned on me.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

And so up in Adam is Don Don's cousin.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

And that was sort of like an epiphany we had, um, just enjoying our coffee at the fire.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

And it's really funny because so after we had that that that luncheon, whatever we our little coffee.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

We were ladies who lunched.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

We were ladies, ladies at luncheoning.

SPEAKER_03 8:05

We should get hats.

SPEAKER_04 8:07

Can I we should get up an atom is Don Don. It's giving up an Adam is Don Don. It's giving that merch drop. Merch drop. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Nick. I just couldn't spell the.

SPEAKER_03 8:21

Wait, I actually will be making us merch that sends it's giving up an atom is Don Don't's cousin. Listen to the pod. Listen to the pod, yeah. So we got the giggles today, honey.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

So after our luncheon, I started watching um The Cult of the Real Housewife.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

Mary Cosby Doc, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Mary Cosby Doc, and I love it. But one of the things that they keep showing it dawned on me that they keep showing clips of like YouTubers or podcasters talking about Mary Cosby. One of the podcasters that's like heavily like showcased on it is this podcast called Up and Adam, and this guy's name is Adam.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

Oh, really? But is it like Adam like in the correct spelling, or is it Adam like his name?

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Like his name, Adam. So every time we're saying it now, I'm like the pot. Friend of the pot up and up and Adam. Um and I love his I love his takes on Mary Cosby. Well, all of all of what he's been saying.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

So I never watched that documentary, but I have to ask what you thought because Mary Cosby's like defense of herself is that like um really kind of straight-laced white Mormons are like deeply unfamiliar with black church culture, and so they see people like really loudly worshiping and singing and like a different Christianity denomination that worships much differently than them, and they think that it's like cult-like immediately.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Right. I think I think there is an aspect of that. Yeah, but when you keep when you keep going, when you get into the nitty-gritty, when you keep going, you actually married to her step-grandpa. She's married to her step-grandfather, and You're gonna go with Mary who fucked your grandpa. Love Jen, shout out. Okay, uh, but basically, come on the pot.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

Open and you're welcome.

SPEAKER_04 10:21

You're all we are giggling. We're giggling today.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Basically, they go deeper and they find uh yeah, there's like coercion to spend thousands of dollars for the leaders of the church.

SPEAKER_04 10:34

Well, that seems true for most churches. I was gonna say, let me be contrarian. Mormons have a required tithing. Oh, yeah, it's 10%, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

They do. And I guess kind of the way, and I haven't finished a documentary, there's like four or five episodes. I only finished one at fake fan. One example they have, they have former members of the church coming on and giving stories about what happened. And there were several times where there was like an emergency parish meeting.

SPEAKER_04 11:01

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

And this one person said whenever that would happen, it would be a requirement that everyone donates like thousands of dollars.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

And so this one rumor about Cameron, I think his name was, who like basically put out a second mortgage on his house.

SPEAKER_04 11:18

Oh, is that the one they talk about on Salt Lake?

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Yeah, and they Yeah, and he like dies.

SPEAKER_04 11:23

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

I don't know if they if you guys yeah, he died shortly after that because he was having cer uh surgery and he died under the knife. So that's suspicious.

SPEAKER_04 11:36

I feel like I don't know if it's giving cult as much as it's giving manipulation. Which is an aspect of cultural, which is an aspect of cult, but it's more like I feel like cult is like more control over daily life. Yeah. And that doesn't feel to me besides like the normal like religion, like these are the tenets you should follow, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:59

But like So there's one guy that comes on and he talks about like what does it mean to be a cult? And he's like, there's three main things power, yep, money, and sex. And he's like, There's not always sex, but most of the things. Many times.

SPEAKER_04 12:13

Many such cases.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

But he talks about how basically the the power and money aspect of this specific church is questionable enough that it could be considered a cult.

SPEAKER_03 12:24

There's a podcast I like called Sounds Like a Cult.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

Oh, is that the one that's hosted by somebody who's a couple of things? Amanda something. I can't think of her last name, but she's she's an author. Like she because her dad was a there's it's like a there's like a cute C a Mooney. Her dad was a Mooney. Oh, yeah, and so she like researches and like writes about cults and like high control groups and stuff. But yeah, her her podcast is more like it's kind of they cover different like pop culture topics of like is this a cult or not? So it'll be like the cult of Taylor Swift or like the cult of um Harry Potter, the cult of like I don't know, whatever random topic the cult of the bachelor, I think, is an episode. So things that are like have like really obsessive fan bases, and then just yeah, her analysis of it, and like she'll make a final decision and it's like uh like a a watch your back, like a get the fuck out, or like uh you're having fun or something. I don't know, something like that. But it's a very interesting pod. I do feel like most religions are giving cult. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

I to an extent, yeah, no, I I'd have to agree with that.

SPEAKER_03 13:28

I do think religions and churches are often like stepping stones into cults.

SPEAKER_04 13:33

Especially Mormonism.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

Yeah, I feel like there's um typically like an offshoot of a church, like a leader there that becomes god. Mother god, yeah, and then kind of has a following.

SPEAKER_04 13:46

In that game, in that game I was showing you guys. So for listeners of the pod, I did download um my Tomodachi Life, which is the baby game on Nintendo that came out on Thursday. I'm addicted to it. But you can you are their god essentially, and they'll talk directly to you. And they said, What would you like to be called? And I did tell them to call me Mother God. So it'll be like Mother God, like important.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

And and listeners, are we your god?

SPEAKER_03 14:12

Let us know. Let us know. Are we god? That's what I always ask Penny. Comment on our Instagram, which as of recording, I do have to post the latest episode, but by tonight, by the time you hear this episode, the Instagram will be caught up. Yeah. The bell jar has been lifted.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 14:29

It has been lifted. Um, I took the drugs, the drugs are working. Melissa and I can, you know, now sort of move into being in a place of um We're in a place of SSRI.

SPEAKER_04 14:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

Well, I'm not on an SSRI. What is it? I think it's an SNRI. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 14:46

We're on that norepidephrine grind. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:49

We're on psychiatric medication that's working for us. How about that? That's why we can giggle today. That's why we're giggling. That's why we're in a good mood. Um the bell jar has lifted. Yes, the bell jar has lifted, and um, yeah, I'm sort of able to accomplish tasks now, which that's kind of tough when you when you're not doing well mentally. That's all I have to do.

SPEAKER_04 15:15

Actually, okay, I feel like that leads me. Can you remind me what I because I don't have my phone. What did I text that I wanted to talk about? I feel like I wanted to talk about medication or something.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

Was it was it in this?

SPEAKER_04 15:26

It was before that. We've been chit-chatting.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

Yeah, we're I was really chatty yesterday while editing this.

SPEAKER_04 15:32

I love how nice we are to ourselves. I wrote having a serious case of the uglies today. Holly said looking haggard.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

So everything I just said about our meds working is true. However, however, there will always be work to be done about that.

SPEAKER_04 15:50

Well, I want to talk about pronouns, pronoun whatever scans. Oh, excitement about new drugs. Yeah. Okay, so I want to talk about this briefly. Um, maybe not. I don't know. I don't know why I said it so business-like. Um, our next order of business. Because you're an expert. Because I'm an expert. So I'm a scientist. I have an appointment with my allergist on Tuesday, and I have chronic hives, and it's fucking horrible. And I get an injection every month for it, but it started working less and less, and now I'm like, well, what the fuck? But in December, a new medication was approved to treat chronic hives, and the chronic hive community is saying this shit is game changer. Game changer. And so I'm gonna ask my doctor about it on Tuesday, and I really like her, so I'm hoping like she's open to that conversation. And hopefully insurance will cover it because it is $4,000 a month. But they're currently covering Zolaire, the injection, which is $6,000 a month. So, like cheaper. Hopefully they should, but that isn't always how it works, which is crazy. Right, right. Anyway, so I'm really excited that I could potentially start this medication, and then I don't know if we've talked about this on the pot or we've probably alluded to it, but Holly are Holly and I are both on Wagovy. I am on a newer, not new, but like a newer psychiatric medication. And I just have been getting like well, I've been locking into like getting all my shit together lately and like figuring out how to get my meds easily for when I move and stuff. But I'm just kind of like, damn, like modern medicine's awesome. And I think something that is not talked about, and I also think something that like people don't know to bring up to their doctors, which I want to talk about, is like we already have medications, right, that are for things, like like big. I know, and I and I'm and I as a scientist I'm saying a lot there too. We have medications for stuff. Yeah. Who knew? But in the year 2026, the stuff the medications that are coming out are not things that well, there are of course small cases, but like the new depression meds, the new weight loss medications, the new heart medications, the new like there's a medication for hives, but it doesn't work as well as the new one does. And like we're in an era where the things that are coming out have to be better. Like they can't just be a competit like they can't just be it also does this, which there is a type of clinical trial for that. It's called a non-inferiority trial, which most clinical trials are does it work? Non-inferiority trial is is it not inferior to the thing that is already approved? Like it has to be at least as good, if not better. It can't just be, it has to be better, essentially. Like it can't just be good. And so I'm just like excited about the fact that there's new medications coming out that have to be better and do better and potentially make us feel better. Cool. I feel like, yeah, it's maybe something to talk about because I didn't even know about this medication until I saw somebody else talking about it online and stuff. But I'm just like feeling excited because medicine is moving very quickly with so much technology now in like an awesome way.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

It's so amazing.

SPEAKER_04 18:48

And it's amazing that I could take a drug. Like, I don't know if you guys can notice the a change in me. I feel like I notice a change in me on the on the antidepressants, but like I feel better. Yeah. And it's a newer medication, and it's not just like Prozac, which works very well for some people, and that's great. But like, I'm just kind of feeling like, whoa, we have medications for things, and that's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 19:09

Yeah.

unknown 19:10

Crazy.

SPEAKER_04 19:10

So that's my that's my spiel.

SPEAKER_03 19:13

Here's here's what I'll add to that. Yeah. Um give it to me. This may be tough for some people to hear, and it's often tough for me to hear. Yeah. You don't have to suffer.

SPEAKER_04 19:22

Yup.

SPEAKER_03 19:23

How about that? Big one big. Don't have to suffer. People who like, I don't know. I think that people take a lot of pride in like in suffering. Yep. And you don't have to suffer.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Because I do feel like people are always like, oh, well, I persevered. Like, oh, if I could do it, you could.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

I often see women being like, Yeah, I I get bad period cramps, but I I don't know. I usually just like tough it out. There's something about like toughing it out that I kind of like. I'm like, why?

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Literally, why?

SPEAKER_03 19:48

There's no downside. Take an ibuprofen. It's okay. You don't have to be in like excruciating pain. There's no reward for suffering. Right. For willingly suffering.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Right.

SPEAKER_03 19:59

And to, you know, many such cases. I've known I've known many people who need psychiatric medication and refuse to take it, even though it would greatly impact their life. Yeah. And I've been that person too. And I just, I'm in a place of like, I actually don't have to suffer. If there's like a pill I can take every day that makes life easier for me and makes me feel better, no matter what the ailment is, I'm gonna take it. Why wouldn't I?

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Right.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

Why wouldn't I? I don't have to suffer. There's no there's nothing to be earned from suffering besides pain. No, there isn't. There's no reward. You don't get a sticker, a gold star for being the best at suffering and having a hard time.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

Yeah, the reward is pain.

SPEAKER_03 20:41

The reward's more pain. Why would I want that?

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Why would anyone want that? Why do we want that?

SPEAKER_03 20:48

It doesn't make any sense to me. So yeah, I don't know. I think that there are people who kind of have like a chip on their shoulder about medication specifically. And I I just don't get it. I mean, you know, I'm always vocal about people who are critical of GLP ones, and I'm like, I'm sorry, I think if you're a GLP one hater, I think you're a loser.

SPEAKER_04 21:05

Also, the the only people I've seen be I mean, I don't want to say it's the only people I've seen be critical about it, but the only people I've seen who've had bad takes are skinny people. And say that. And say that skinny people.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

We've been saying that it's people who are thin. Um fat. No, yeah, they're not special. Oh, suddenly these like fat ugos can look like me. Oh, they can get your metabolism by taking a pill?

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Oh, wow. Because they were the ones who suffered for it that they didn't really need to, right? This this is what they think is their prize for having suffering. This is what they think the reward is.

SPEAKER_03 21:42

Right. They think they're special. They think they're special. And how dare fat people have autonomy? Exactly. No matter what they do. Like it just drives me crazy. I think if you're a GLP one hater, I think you're like really kind of seriously misinformed, and I think it's gross loser behavior to be shitting on GLP1. GLP ones. And my final point in all of this is that like not everything is too good to be true. Like something that I think people say a lot about GLP ones are like, can't wait until all the financial compensation begins when everyone gets cancer and da da da. And it's just like, no. First of all, these medications have been around for a long time. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

They've been tested. Yeah. Like over a decade.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

Oh, Zempic has been around for I think like 20 years or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 22:27

I think the molecule was discovered like maybe 15 or 20 years ago, and then it's given clinical trials, and then I think diabetic people have been taking it for a long time without they don't have cancer now. Like what also, like I the general public has no fucking clue what goes into a clinical trial, and I get it. No. But like that shit's being tested. It is being tested.

SPEAKER_03 22:49

They're looking at it. There isn't because they don't want the law. No. And then I guess I said that was my final point, but it's not. Here's my final my final point, and with to sum up everything I just said is everything is a conspiracy when you're stupid. How about that?

SPEAKER_02 23:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:07

Yeah. When you're uninformed on something and you hear like a rogue opinion, you're gonna really look into that because you you don't have the information necessary to like tell you that that's wrong. Yeah, everything's a conspiracy when you're stupid. Yep. So don't be stupid. Read the meta-analysis, like Melissa. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:28

Just read the fucking meta-analysis. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:31

On the flip side, what the Prenovo, Prenovo scans, whatever the fuck.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Okay, tell me about those again.

SPEAKER_04 23:38

I really I think these are like an instance of going in the other direction of what I was just talking about, where like the Pranovo, Penovo scans, whatever, I'm just gonna choose one and go with it because I don't care. They're full body MRIs that you pay for out of pocket, offered by a company called Pranuvo. And they started by doing like they've just basically then the sugar bear hair um marketing of like the Kardashians did them on an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashian. Flat tummy tea. Yep, all the flat tummy tea type stuff, right? And the idea is that you can get a full body MRI as a healthy person, and then if you see something, you'll know to look into it. That is very dangerous because like I think there was a review of this that was done that was like 90% of people are going to find something in an MRI, but that's not clinically significant. Like you can have lots of weird shit going on with your body, and it doesn't mean anything. Like your body can look weird, or you can have weird stuff, and it doesn't mean something's wrong, and you're basically overcorrecting and scaring yourself, and this company is just making money from it. They're just trying to scare people into purchasing these things, and I just think it's really scammy and shitty. And like I do, I do think that like there are plenty of people who are not able to get like MRIs and different types of scans, like who really do need them and who are looking for answers and who probably would benefit from more testing. But those people aren't the people getting these because you have to pay out of pocket for these fucking things. Like, this is not people like it's increasing access to healthcare. I'm like, that's not this. This is a for-profit company.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

Right, because insurance is not covering this, also. Like people are paying out of pocket thousands of dollars where like it probably let's say someone was having trouble accessing care in another way, they probably wouldn't be able to afford these scans to be.

SPEAKER_04 25:31

Not at all, not at all. People talk about it as though it's breaking down barriers and that people have the right to access information about their bodies and health, and that's true, but like this is not that.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

Yeah, if that were true, it wouldn't be promoted by like influencers and celebrities.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

Right.

SPEAKER_04 25:45

No, right, and I've seen so many influencers and celebrities. I've seen like some A-list actors who I can't remember now, but I remember seeing somebody being like, that's crazy to see this person.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

My favorite supermodel did it. Yeah, Shalom Harlow. Shalom. That was tough to see. That's tough. Yeah, I think the main criticism I hear about it is essentially what you just said from medical professionals saying like it gives information without context. Yes. And like in a medical setting, context is extremely important. So, yeah, like a part of your body could like light up on an MRI scan, but it doesn't then investigate why and what that is and what you should do about it.

SPEAKER_04 26:24

If you have no symptoms, but you have your your one bone twists to the side a little bit, it doesn't matter. If it doesn't bother you at all, that does not matter at all. That doesn't matter. Right. Because bodies can just adjust for that.

SPEAKER_02 26:38

Right.

SPEAKER_04 26:40

So those are the things that were on my mind this week. I've been in a place of science, I've been in a place of locking in to my own mental health and to others, and I hate scammers. I hate scientific scammers, non-scientific. I hate I hate wellness scams. Yeah, probably more than any other scam on well, but I really fucking hate wellness scams. Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_03 27:04

And I would also like to add that the wellness industry, much like big pharma, is also for profit and is also worth more than big pharma at this point in the year 2026. So when you say, you know, big pharma's for-profit and it's worth blah blah blah blah, like they're sell what are they're keeping us sick so they can sell us the cure. Hey, so the wellness industry is actually unregulated and worth more than big pharma. So consider that.

SPEAKER_04 27:32

Whenever there are big analyses where they randomly test supplements to see how much stuff is in them, and like every time it's like it's never what it says because they don't have to, and why would they? Exactly. It's crazy as fuck to me, and my point in all this is take care of yourself. And I and I like I feel like I could very and I did when I was younger fall down the like wellness stuff because it sounds awesome. I know it would be so nice if there was just like something that sounded so natural and good and like for the earth, and you could take it and feel better, or you could you know, put a patch on your stomach and lose five pounds. That would be awesome. That's just not real. No.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

I always think about it in the way that like the placebo effect is very real and very helpful, but like to an extent. Like you can't cure cancer by just you know doing an extra push-up every day. No.

SPEAKER_04 28:26

Like that's and I think when you're spending your money on it, right? Right. Like I think the companies should have an obligation, but they don't. They don't versus pharmaceutical. I feel like I'm like, yeah, pharmaceutical companies are awesome. But like pharmaceutical companies do have an obligation to you because they're regulated. Right. Yes. If something goes that's also why I tell people like, don't go to a health, I think there are good health coaches, I know one, but like don't go to a health and wellness coach and expect a therapist because if something goes wrong, there's not a licensing board to report them to. The reason those things are in place are not because we want to, it's the man and protecting because they're protecting you. Yeah, it's like important that you see a licensed person because if something happens, you have something to do with that. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

There's documentation, there's like a the there's like a standard of care that they are held to. Like you can sue me and Nick at some point. No, absolutely. Yeah. Everything's a conspiracy when you're stupid. Oh no. Yeah. You know, Melissa, I can tell you and I are like, we're we're we're feeling good. Both of you are vibing right now.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

It's great.

SPEAKER_04 29:39

Nick, yeah, what are your thoughts on it? Yeah. God, what medication are you on for?

SPEAKER_01 29:45

And then I'm not on any. And that's why I'm like sitting here and I'm like, fuck, I gotta, I gotta fucking get back on again.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

Melissa, what's yours? Mine's vibrid. I don't know what the medical name for it is, though. That's the brand name, vibrid. I don't know what it is, but it's vibrid. Whatever. Starts with a V.

SPEAKER_04 30:03

Because I don't think there is generic for Vibrid yet. Not yet. And I'm on Trentelix, which is the brand name, but I don't know what the what the generic name is because you also can't get that in generic yet.

SPEAKER_03 30:13

Yeah, vibrate.

SPEAKER_04 30:14

And I think they're working. They are working. It's extraordinarily nauseous, but I'm hoping it'll subside soon.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

Same. I am also nauseous, but it's getting better every day. It I'm also on a GLP one, so who knows what is causing the nausea, but it's there. It's there, it's there. But like, Nick, when are you gonna get on one day?

SPEAKER_01 30:34

I think I'm gonna get back to the one.

SPEAKER_03 30:37

Yeah, he could be he could be all. All three of our psychiatrists. I'm at this at this point, there should be a referral program because I would have referred him to um three people.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

Yeah, yeah. You get a cut of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

So my psychiatrist, we can bleep out his name, but he's a very tall Serbian man with a very intense like he does sound like Gru from Despicable Me. I love it. Like exactly like him, very intense, kind of Slavic accent. And he's, you know, European, so like he's a little, you know, he's a kooky guy. He's a kooky guy. But he's a great psychiatrist, and I never feel judged by him, and he really listens, and I feel like I can be like, I want to increase this medication because of this.

SPEAKER_04 31:21

And he says, Okay, he's the best psychiatrist I've ever seen, and I have seen so many.

SPEAKER_03 31:26

I really I hit the jackpot because he's the only psychiatrist I've ever seen, and he's fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

Amazing, amazing.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

Shout out!

SPEAKER_04 31:34

Shout out, but are you feeling inspired?

SPEAKER_01 31:37

I am actually because there's been a lot of energies. Yeah, because there's a lot of like, you know, I stopped taking it when I was in Helsinki, and I think I did not feel in effect, like I still felt really mentally okay when I was in Helsinki because I was walking every day.

SPEAKER_03 31:54

Well, you were in Europe, so there's kind of just a natural good feeling there.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

I think Finland has like an excellent relationship with nature, so I was out in nature every single day.

SPEAKER_04 32:02

And I will say too, and I say this with love, you were pretty depressed in Finland.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

I I was.

SPEAKER_04 32:10

Often, but because I did speak to you while you were it did, yeah, that's true. Yeah, rewriting history, I see. Rewriting history, and I feel like it's like one of those things where like you miss those things, it did, but you were pretty sad a lot.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

I was, I was, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:25

Romanticizing the past, hey, we among doing it all the time.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

I was about to say, I was like, nostalgia is my favorite emotion.

SPEAKER_03 32:31

So yeah, which that was a crazy answer to me. When you said nostalgia, I said yeah. Nick asked us what our favorite emotion is.

SPEAKER_04 32:40

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

What was yours again?

SPEAKER_04 32:42

Mine was joy. Joy, yeah. I think mine was peace. Yeah. Because I think that's the rarest emotion for me. Same.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

And mine is nostalgia because I love getting just a little bit of like thinking about the past and being like, wow.

SPEAKER_03 32:56

Wow, wow.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Do you remember when?

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Nostalgia is like, I don't want to say one of my least favorite because that's not true, but nostalgia is like physically painful for me.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

Nostalgia is very complicated for me.

SPEAKER_03 33:06

Like, I feel it in my body and it like makes my stomach hurt.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

There are a couple of accounts that I follow.

SPEAKER_04 33:12

Oh, do you follow the ones where they show like videos of like high schoolers in like 2009? Because those make my heart hurt a little.

SPEAKER_03 33:19

Oh, I can't watch those.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Those ones are hard for me. But there are um there's there's all these accounts that I follow that just like go around.

SPEAKER_04 33:28

Can you describe what you're can you describe what you're showing right now?

SPEAKER_01 33:33

It was literally today I came across this post, and it is of my old neighborhood in Finland, and it's pictures and videos that have this kind of like gray tint to it that makes it feel like it's an old found footage, but like this is the old stairway that I used to take down to the metro every single day, and like this was the old uh or the marketplace that I would walk through all the time, and so it has this like gray nostalgic sort of feel to it, and I'm feeling so good right now listening, just like watching it because I'm like, oh, I miss it and I long for it, but also it just feels so good looking at it.

SPEAKER_04 34:12

I'm like, That's so funny because like I see stuff like that, and I it does kind of make me a little sick. Yeah, like I I I'm gonna be a hundred percent real with you guys. Whenever I see like 2000s 90s or 90s or 2000s Christmas videos of like shopping at the mall, I have full body chills. I have heave cried to those. Yeah, I've heave cried to those.

SPEAKER_03 34:33

Or like I can literally see it and hear it in my mind. No, no, literally, and it's like the week before um Christmas or the week of before Christmas break.

SPEAKER_04 34:45

Yeah, tears welling up in my eyes, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:47

And it's yeah, like early 2000s pictures like your kindergarten classroom and your stockings and oh whatever. We knife through the watch those though.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

It does, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:58

That makes me feel it makes me feel over intent. Warm but like sick.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

Oh, yeah. No, it makes me feel like warm and content. Like there's a part of me that feels like a tiny bit of joy from it.

SPEAKER_04 35:10

It I feel joy from it, but it's a complicated joy because it's like I it's so beautiful to me.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

Yeah, it is like let me ask you to a crazy question. Crazy question. What's the time in your life you feel most nostalgic for? Melissa, I think you probably know my answer. And I might know yours. I don't actually know if I know my answer. Mine's obviously 2013. Yeah. Yeah. 2013, 2014.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

I think mine is when I was in Helsinki.

SPEAKER_03 35:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

Like I'm like all this all the time before stuff before. I was like, it was fine, but I don't really like I don't feel nostalgic for middle school, for high school, for college, for after college. I don't. But like Helsinki, I think I will always feel nostalgic for. And also was recent too, so I feel like that's also unfair.

SPEAKER_03 35:58

The nostalgia trend that's quite recent that like has really been physically so physically painful for me that I cannot engage with it is like the millennial optimism. Yes. Yeah, the like 2012 to 2014. Incredibly painful. Like Obama era, millennial optimism, like with the the song that's playing is um I don't know, that one song that's like, uh yes. Yeah, very that. Everything is embarrassing. Sky Ferera. I don't know, the Lena Dunham girls of it all. Like they're it it is so physically painful.

SPEAKER_04 36:39

Like it's hard to watch girls. Yes. Because it it is like Brooklyn in 2012. It's a good idea.

SPEAKER_03 36:46

It's like so it's so mod cloth, it's so like oh, I just like it makes me ache. It makes me it fee it hurts.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

Like you want to look away from it.

SPEAKER_03 36:58

I can't engage with it because it makes me sick. And I think I think why nostalgia is like a difficult emotion for me is because like I struggle to accept that like there's no going back and the past is in the past forever. The past is never coming back.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:14

I hate that. I hate that.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

And that was yeah, I understand that.

SPEAKER_03 37:18

I only got to experience that one time and never again. It'll never come back. And that's hard for me.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:25

I think I think maybe for me, nostalgia, the reason it makes me sick is like twofold. So like there's there's the nostalgia like the Christmas nostalgia and things like that is like my family will never be like that again. I will never be a little kid. I am the adult, right? But nostalgia for like 2013 and stuff, I do think it's like um a simpler time with less responsibility and like also everything was so much fucking cheaper. Um the optimism of it all.

SPEAKER_03 37:55

There was a hope, there was a hope and an optimism that we don't have anymore.

SPEAKER_04 37:58

Just like sitting at Applebee's with you and Raylan for four hours. Like I would give anything to just have that. Alex, remember Alex? Yeah, our server. Yeah, our favorite server. How can we forget? Love, love him to death. You probably met Alexander. We should come on the pod. Bring Alex on the podcast. I thought he would. He probably would. He's a free spirit. He is. Um, but I think like all of my memories of nostalgia, I I don't think I have the same amount of nostalgia as you. Not because this is necessarily different for we have a different experience, but like I do think I have been suicidal so much of my life that like I I didn't stop being mostly suicidal until I was probably 21, 22.

SPEAKER_03 38:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:41

And so like 2013 is filled with so many fun memories and being on Tumblr and like all of that amazing like being on Tumblr is like I would give anything to have like a a real good 2013 scroll through Tumblr. But that is very much tinged with like me going to the hospital. Yeah. And that's also when I had a lung cancer scare is 2013. So it's like it's all tinged with all of this horrible shit. And so it's like a very complicated, like the the good memories are so good, but all that gets so tinged with stuff are like, you know, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:15

The good memories are so good, but the bad ones are like the worst moments of your life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:21

So like when I I don't necessarily wish that I could go back to any time because I do think I am like the most stable I've ever been now. Yeah. And I'm probably broadly the happiest I've ever been. Well, you're locking in. I'm locking in. And so like I think that I it's it's a it's tricky, it's weird.

SPEAKER_01 39:39

Yeah, but I think I kind of also feel the same way, like very similar.

SPEAKER_04 39:43

Do you want to go back to junior high in the closet? Sure don't.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

Sure don't.

SPEAKER_04 39:46

Back to the closet! To the closet, you go to yearns for the closet.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

I yearn. But no, I kind of am like you're saying that and I'm like, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 39:54

I'm thinking about you in college. Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 39:56

Yeah. Ooh.

SPEAKER_04 39:57

Mental illness. Wow. Big mental illness.

SPEAKER_01 40:01

Glad we walked a path forward. But yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:05

We both love to go to a hospital.

SPEAKER_01 40:07

We love going to a hospital. Hey, one of the best experiences of my life.

SPEAKER_03 40:12

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 40:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:13

I love that. You know, it's so, and again, I'm just feeling like Melissa and I are just a constant yin and yang because it's like I feel like I relate to everything that you just said, but for my 20s. Because I feel like my 20s are when my mental health issues really, really started. Like when yours were kind of starting to settle, mine were rampant.

SPEAKER_04 40:38

Ramping up.

SPEAKER_03 40:39

Yeah. So I would never, if given the opportunity, I would never go back to my 20s. Never ever.

SPEAKER_04 40:44

Like what, 26? The look Holly just gave was she closed her eyes and had like a look of a look of no. Horrible.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

She was horrible. Big no.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

Yeah. Jesse J. No. No.

unknown 41:00

No.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

No, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna add that to the carousel. And you know what? I did say that the tough thing with nostalgia is that there is no going back. But if given the choice to go back, I don't think I would. No. I don't think I would. Um, but I think it's it's not having the option that is that's hard. And like, well, I want to at least have the option. I wish I could time travel. Yeah. But I also and um me and friend of the pod, Kenzie, would talk about this all the time, like experiencing this emotion that we didn't really have a name for, I guess, outside of nostalgia, but it's feeling nostalgic for a time period that you weren't part of. Like when I listened to certain name for that, there's a word for that.

SPEAKER_04 41:43

There is a name for that, but what was it? In German. I thought there was a sort of thing.

SPEAKER_03 41:46

Yeah, there's a German word. There's a German word for everything. Um but feeling like intense, intense, like painful nostalgia for a time period that you weren't part of. Like, I think she would say, I think it's a song California Dream. And for her, she's like, when I hear that song, she's like, I'm in a I'm in a convertible, in a convertible, and I'm driving along the Pacific Coast Highway. It's like the 70s. She's like, I I can physically feel myself being there. And I feel that too when I listen to certain music. Like when I listen to the Nirvana Unplugged version of All Apologies, you're at Unplugged. I literally, I feel like I'm there. I can like smell the like there's like fog in the air. I can like smell cigarette smoke. Like I I I don't know. I just I don't experience that. I physically feel like I was there. Yeah. Or even That sounds awesome.

SPEAKER_01 42:37

That does sound awesome.

SPEAKER_03 42:38

Even like looking at, and this is that's the type of thing that makes me like dip my toe into like metaphysical waters. Of feeling like I believe that past lives are real. I really, really do. And I'm like, maybe I experienced that in past life. And I'm and I'm feeling like it's almost like feeling deja vu, kind of, you know. Similar to that, that's like the closest emotion I can I can compare it to. But yeah, I don't know. It's often music that does it for me, or even like looking at pictures of like London and like the 80s. You know what I mean? Yeah, like it just you're very 80s.

SPEAKER_01 43:15

I am you are very 80s.

SPEAKER_03 43:17

I am everyone, I think everyone is assigned a decade. Not straight men. Right. Well, we decided this, of course, yeah. But like the girls and gays have everyone has a decade. Mine's the 80s for sure. Melissa's is the 60s. 60s, yeah. I was gonna say, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

And I was like, I think mine also might be the sixties.

SPEAKER_04 43:35

I think you're in the 60s with me.

SPEAKER_01 43:37

Yeah. Hey!

SPEAKER_04 43:40

I've got a beehive, I've got a a a 60s cut crease. You are Joan from Mad Men. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

I am in a in a beautiful suit, closeted as ever.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

Yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

Deep in there.

SPEAKER_03 43:54

Yeah, yep. But live in the We're in a lavender marriage. We're in a lavender marriage, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

That I think of this one uh always bringing it back to Eurovision. Well, it's been a while. There is this one singer in the 1969 competition. Uh, he represented the Netherlands.

SPEAKER_04 44:12

Oh, you try this is the one who like was like, it's gay.

SPEAKER_01 44:15

It's gay. Well, no, well, this is a little bit different. So this is his name was Toby Teeth. And he sang this song Morgen, which is just Morgan or Morning. And uh it's a really fun song. I mean it's a great song, but in the song itself, he specifically the lyrics specifically talk about like a woman, a girl that he's like fallen in love with. And I think that's why the gay community didn't like latch on to him that much. Because you see him perform and you're like, that is a gay man.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

People are scared of bye guys.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

They are oh yeah. And maybe he maybe he is bye. Actually, yeah, no, I needed the call out.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

People hate bye guys. Hate by guys. Call him in, Holly. Not me. Call me in.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

Call me in. Thanks for calling me.

SPEAKER_03 44:58

I wasn't trying to call you out or call you in anything. But I like but in my head, I'm like, maybe he's bye. And people hate a bye guy.

SPEAKER_01 45:05

They do, they do. But actually, that isn't that isn't even the first thing on my radar, and it should actually be on my radar. But the thing is, is like he uh came out much later, yeah, and everyone just like kind of forgot about him. Whereas this other guy I was talking about, I don't know what is his name, Jean-Claude Pascal or something.

SPEAKER_04 45:23

I like that you looked at me as though I would know. You would know.

SPEAKER_01 45:26

And Jean-Claude. Jean-Claude Pascal, and uh yeah, when he came out, I feel like there's a little more embracing of that with the queer community. But of course, I wasn't alive during the 80s when both of these men came out, so how the fuck am I gonna know?

SPEAKER_03 45:40

But I'll I'll go back there in my mind's eye and you know tell and let you know.

SPEAKER_01 45:46

Yeah, but when I think about like the kind of person I would be in the 60s, it would be that man.

SPEAKER_04 45:52

I see you as um, well, I can't I don't know if I agree because I don't know who you're talking about, except for what you're describing, but I see you as um what's his fucking face? Gay piano, very flamboyant piano. Elton John? Elton John not Elton John, who I love. Who has to clarify? I love Elton John. Liberacci?

SPEAKER_01 46:16

Liberacci, right? Is that right? I think that's right. I am not the one to know my gay history.

SPEAKER_04 46:23

I feel like I'm right, and if I'm wrong, shoot me, I guess. I don't know. Liberaci? I think you're right.

SPEAKER_01 46:29

Liberaci.

SPEAKER_04 46:31

Liberaci. Liberacci. I think they also meant Helen in Rent. American pianist and singer. Oh, yeah. He was a very flamboyant pianist, and this is who I picture you as.

SPEAKER_01 46:44

You know, and that's actually uh, yeah, that's probably more correct.

SPEAKER_04 46:47

Because you are a pianist.

SPEAKER_01 46:48

That's true. But I'm not flamboyant though. That's the only thing I say. Missing.

SPEAKER_04 46:52

But I like the idea of you being flamboyant but not out in the 50s or 60s. Yeah. Yeah. Because we're in a lavender marriage. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:00

Nick, let me ask you this.

SPEAKER_01 47:01

What do you got?

SPEAKER_03 47:02

Would you describe yourself as straight passing?

SPEAKER_01 47:04

Um I think I would have probably even like five or six years ago. But no, not anymore. I think there's a lot of the way that I carry myself, I think I could pass.

SPEAKER_03 47:17

I think to someone who's like unfamiliar with gay, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 47:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:21

Like if you like worked in an office and like the 60-year-old woman who's your coworker might be. She wants to set you up with her daughter. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:30

I could see it in that context, but I think anyone who like knows a gay person would like being to yeah, you're clocked.

SPEAKER_01 47:36

They know. Yeah. And yeah. And I like that. Yeah. Because I don't have to I don't know to say anything about it.

SPEAKER_03 47:42

You don't have to be yaussing and voguing. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:45

Yossing and voguing up and down the streets. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:49

Do you think people clock you as bi? Um uh gay people, yes. Yeah. Yeah. I think there is just sort of like a a a single look that has to happen where it's like, yeah. You know? Yeah. You just have to make eyes with like a queer person and they they know.

SPEAKER_01 48:05

They know.

SPEAKER_03 48:07

They know. Yeah. Love my guys. I would my my final digression um coming off of weekend two of Couch Chella. Oh my god. Is addicted. Don't make me say, don't make me describe a group of people as reptilian. Don't make me do it.

unknown 48:25

What?

SPEAKER_03 48:26

Don't make me do it. The Coachella crowd, are you guys real people? I'm Have you seen the Madonna Sabrina crowd?

SPEAKER_01 48:33

No.

SPEAKER_03 48:34

Sabrina Carpenter brought out Madonna, the populace. Like Madonna.

SPEAKER_01 48:39

Oh yeah, no, like the Madonna.

SPEAKER_03 48:41

Right. The Madonna.

SPEAKER_01 48:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

And the crowd is just standing completely still, face just like, you know, Gen Z stare painted.

SPEAKER_04 48:51

Singing like a prayer.

SPEAKER_03 48:53

Singing like a prayer. They are all standing there. I'm gonna put my mic down so I can show you. It's like a little prayer. I'm down on my name's a little bit. This is like a this is what the crowd look like.

SPEAKER_04 49:04

Horrible. Horrible.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

And also having their phones. Having their phones up to record and not even watching what's in front of them through their eyes, but through their phone screen. You can tell that they're looking at their phone screen. They're watching Madonna through their phone screen, not with their eyes. It was this it was bone chilling.

SPEAKER_04 49:25

It was really scary. I have not stopped thinking about it. I haven't stopped thinking about it either.

SPEAKER_03 49:29

And the same thing happened with Justin Bieber last night. So he was performing and he went out like kind of um up to the barricade, like into the crowd a little bit, which he did not do week in one. And he was like kind of leaning back on like the crowd of people, like against the barricade. And so all these people are like holding him and they're like screaming so excited. But every single one of them, phone out. Imagine Justin Bieber is like lying back on you like this. And you have your phone, and you have your phone out, and you're not experiencing it. Even though his face is literally inches from yours, you're not looking at him with your eyes, but but through your phone camera lens.

SPEAKER_00 50:08

So I'm just like this this is a black mirror episode.

SPEAKER_03 50:12

It is a black mirror episode. Wake up, sheeple. Wake up, sheeple. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It's so scary. I'm just like, you guys, it is that damn phone. It's that damn phone. It's always that damn phone. But like, I just have never seen such a dead crowd. Justin Bieber wasn't as bad as um Madonna. But yeah, Sabrina Carpenter bringing Madonna on stage, and no one is like screaming and gagged and like uh like losing their shit. And I do think a lot of it is like, I feel like a lot of the crowd was probably quite young and doesn't understand maybe the cultural significance of Madonna, but at the same time, like everyone knows who Madonna is, and that's exciting nonetheless. But yeah, to have people just like completely standing emotionless during the song Like a Prayer, if there's any song danceable song, the most danceable beat clap required song there is, there's a fucking choir in the song.

SPEAKER_01 51:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 51:09

Do it and Madonna's like up there doing a beat clap, no one's doing it. Not a soul, no one is moving because they all have both hands in the air holding their 17 Pro Max recording a video and watching through their camera screen. Instead of with with their with their internal camera, their eyes, you have a built-in camera sheeple. You have a built-in HD camera sheeple. Use it. How about that? But yeah, I was deeply disturbed watching seeing that. And then I also was thinking about it like, can you imagine how weird that is for Madonna, who was like a pop star through the 80s and 90s, and like the type of crowds she experienced, especially because it's like, you know, Madonna's a champion of the gays. Can you imagine like a crowd of like 80s gays and even 90s gays, like post-AIDS epidemic? When like community is everything, being in a crowd of like your peers is everything.

SPEAKER_01 52:03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:04

Like extra extra important at that time.

SPEAKER_01 52:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:08

Not a phone in sight, just living in the moment. Imagine being Madonna and like experiencing that kind of crowd versus the crowd that she experienced this weekend where no one's dancing, no one's singing along, no one's moving, Gen Z stare on their face, completely emotionless, and watching and filming you through a camera. What a fucking trip that would be as for like for Madonna. That's so crazy. I can't even imagine what she was feeling.

SPEAKER_01 52:35

Literally, no. I was like, that makes me sick.

SPEAKER_03 52:37

There was even a point during the set that she said, like, can you guys hear us into the mic? Because I think she thought her mic wasn't working because the crowd was so non-reactive.

SPEAKER_02 52:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:49

And she's fucking Madonna. I'm sure she's used to seeing people like fainting in the audience because they're so excited to see her. So crazy. That's why I'm like, don't make me say lizard people. Don't make me call you reptilians.

SPEAKER_00 53:01

Don't make me say it.

SPEAKER_04 53:02

It's because what the hell? So scary. I'm like picturing famous concerts of yours. I'm picturing like the live aid queen. Imagine if there's been Radio Gaga, like hello. Imagine.

SPEAKER_01 53:14

Wow. Funny.

SPEAKER_04 53:16

And I just it's the I could not believe that video. I have not, it is like burned into my head.

SPEAKER_01 53:22

I'm terrified to watch it. I'll show you after, and I'll add it to the carousel. It is making me think about that Black Mirror episode, White Bear.

SPEAKER_03 53:29

I haven't watched that. That's my favorite episode of Black Mirror.

SPEAKER_01 53:32

You know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_03 53:33

Where she's like, I did not know that about you. You never watched Black Mirror. Oh, Melissa. I know I'd love it. But there's a lot of I mean there's the first three seasons though, when it was still owned by um Eve Eve. E4. E4, yeah. Yeah. Because after Netflix bought it, it did go downhill.

SPEAKER_01 53:48

Yeah, it did, yeah. It wasn't the same. But that, yeah, white. It's a big favorite episode. It's one of the best. That one in Nosedive is one of my favorites. Ugh. But like White Bear, can we explain it to you?

SPEAKER_03 53:59

Howard is the star of Nosedive.

SPEAKER_01 54:00

Yeah. You'll love it. And that's important.

SPEAKER_03 54:02

It's a great one of my favorite Nepo babies. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:05

White Bear. Do you remember what happens in the episode?

SPEAKER_03 54:07

Yes, I remember. I just said it was my favorite episode.

SPEAKER_01 54:10

I know, yeah. Tell us about it.

SPEAKER_03 54:11

Well, Mel, does Melissa want to watch? Because I don't want to spoil it. I think I do want to watch in the main.

SPEAKER_04 54:15

There's a big spoiler, but basically. Because I don't have to watch, I don't have to watch. No, you can I can just watch this and we can talk about it next time.

SPEAKER_03 54:22

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 54:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:23

Um yeah, you can watch any episode and it's not connected to the previous episode. What's that called? That's not an anthology, but what's it called?

SPEAKER_01 54:30

It is. It's a like a isn't it called like a video?

SPEAKER_03 54:32

Well, because an anthology is like American horror story, right? Where it's like every season is different, but it's often like recurring characters.

SPEAKER_04 54:38

I think it might both be considered anthologies, but different kinds of anthropologies.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

Yeah, whereas like the anthology, the story is like one season.

SPEAKER_03 54:46

But Black Mirror, every episode is different. None of them connect to each other. Just the overarching theme is like technology bad. Yeah. Um but yeah, there's a woman who, without giving anything away, is like wakes up and everywhere she goes, people have their phones out and they're recording her. And she's and she doesn't know why.

SPEAKER_02 55:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:05

And it like is driving her crazy. And then you do find out why, and it will gag you.

SPEAKER_02 55:09

It will like absolutely shake you to have to watch it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 55:13

And as I said, it will gag you. It makes me think of what we were talking about at the Briar, which is it's giving. It's giving it will gag you. It's giving, it will gag you. Or like slang just eventually becomes part of your vernacular, whether you want it to or not. I know. And it does slip out, unfortunately. It will um it will surprise you and make you go, whoa. Wow, mama.

SPEAKER_01 55:34

Wow, mamas. Did you guys ever like fall into the saying obvi or awk?

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Of course.

SPEAKER_01 55:42

Okay, great. Yeah. I was wondering when.

SPEAKER_03 55:45

Same.

SPEAKER_01 55:45

I was like, I think it those two have actually like fallen out of my lexicon by now.

SPEAKER_03 55:49

Bring them back. I don't think I don't think ox or yeah, awk has never really been part of my vocabulary field. Like I'll t I'll type it out. Yeah, I'll be out. But I never really say it out loud. You you said awk.

SPEAKER_01 56:03

I do say awk sometimes, but I only text it. I don't really say it.

SPEAKER_04 56:06

You used to say, but like I think when it was your lexicon, you would like awkward.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

Remember that?

SPEAKER_04 56:12

Yeah. Acha awkward.

SPEAKER_01 56:14

Aka awkward.

SPEAKER_04 56:14

Pitch perfect.

SPEAKER_01 56:15

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_04 56:16

Aka awkward. Actually, don't like pitch perfect. I don't either crazy take because everybody seems to be around. Well, should we get into our confession? I was gonna say you guys are confessed. I was gonna think of something this week and then I did.

SPEAKER_03 56:30

Confess. I thought of mine last night. I really had like a revelation, and I was, you know, I did have a glass of wine, and it made me think this. So maybe it was well, it wasn't the wine talking. It was the wine expanding part of my brain.

SPEAKER_01 56:44

You were connecting with it.

SPEAKER_03 56:46

Alcohol does that, and that's why everyone should drink it.

SPEAKER_04 56:48

That's why you should drink a number of things.

SPEAKER_03 56:50

That's why everyone should every day drink to expand their mind. Yep. And that's so famous and true about alcohol.

SPEAKER_04 56:57

I love how people who drink alcohol do love to tell you that.

SPEAKER_03 57:00

I yeah, right? I know. Which yeah, whatever. Um I'm I'm not listeners. Holly's not watching the video. I'm not, I'm which you already know. I'm not I'm not really a drinker, but I do love to have a glass of wine and really just like talk and talk and talk and talk. You like a dry glass of wine? I do. I do love a dry white, a very dry white, so dry that the tannins make my jaw hurt. Yes. You know, like when you have something sour. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 57:29

That's why I knew that that was I there was a connection, like one of the New York Times connections this week, and one of the categories was like something about alcohol, and I actually got it. And Rachel was surprised I got it. And one of them was tan. It was like the second names of alcohol drinks, so it was like a black and tan. But I was thinking of tannins, and Rachel was surprised I knew that. And I was like, I don't know how I know that. It's because you like you like you talk about tannins. Yeah. All right, and sorry to interrupt, I just was like little connections, alcohol up in my mind.

SPEAKER_03 57:58

But anyway, I went out last night and I had a a glass, I had a glass of wine and a cocktail over the span of like six hours and it was so drunk, yeah. And of course, my mind really expanded. Yeah. And I had makeup on, and I was, I got home, I took a selfie, I was feeling gorgeous. Of course. Because, listeners, you can't see, but I'm back to my um natural. Well, it's not my natural, but it's the same color as my natural dark brown hair. Because I'm a brunette, okay? I'm a brunette, that's my truth. I'm not a redhead. But I just okay, it dawned on me to take it back to a place of dawn. I'm being goofy, but this is like kind of serious. It dawned on me. Like I realized that I don't know, my red hair was just a mask. Dare I admit that? My red hair was just a mask. And I I don't know. I mean, I think that people change their hair and it is like a good way to express yourself as a person, but I don't know. Sometimes I'd really latch onto my red hair or like really feel like good about identifying or being perceived as like a redhead because I thought it would make me more attractive and more likable. But that's not true. So I was just having this moment with myself with my natural hair, my curly dark brown hair, where I was like, this is me. This is the real me. Yeah, the mask, the mask is off. And that's what this year is all about for me. It is letting the mask slip. Positive. Not I haven't been putting on like a faux persona, of course. I I wear my heart on my sleeve, honey. But I do, yeah, I don't know. I had this, I had this realization that my red hair has just been a mask this whole time. I know. And then I thought too, like, looking at my hair, I'm trying to like get back into like a curly hair routine. Um and I don't know, I would I was having this moment last night where I was just like looking at myself in the mirror and being like, I feel like I'm looking in the mirror, I'm seeing a little 13-year-old me in seventh grade with my like uh brown wavy hair, and I my mom wouldn't buy me a flat iron, which in seventh grade, which was 20 um or no 2007. 2007, what was cool? Stick straight hair. Stick straight hair.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:20

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:21

So yeah, I looked in the mirror and I just saw a 13-year-old meme who would go to school early. So a girl in my gym class would flat iron my hair for me, yeah, before school, so I could fit in and look cooler or whatever. And I just am like, would I say to that 13-year-old, like, yeah, you should keep doing that. Your curly hair is ugly.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:41

No, no, you wouldn't say that.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:42

I would never say that. So why do I tell myself, like, you should have bright red hair and you should have it blown out, and that ain't me.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:52

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:52

So yeah, the mask is slipping. I had I had it, it it dawned on me last night. So that's my confession is that I had red hair for a long time because I thought it would make me look more attractive.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:03

Well, the masks are slipping.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:05

This is again our like yin yang of like my hair. I feel like is very much just like a it's self-expression. It's like it's self-expression, it's very makeup to me. Yeah. Yeah. I guess this goes back to um this goes back to our nostalgia thing, but I am and also Coachella. I'm a renewed believer. Um I was never a big believer, but like my world, my world 2.0, like that brings me back to I think good nostalgia of like I'm in high school, the windows are down in the car, me and Anna are driving around, me and Jillian are driving around. Like, we are Sonic is involved. Sonic is involved. We are we are out, we're getting an icy in the summer. Like we are out and about. Um, the the ice cream truck is going past Jillian's house. Like, yeah, that's full body chilling. Yeah. So I that is how I'm feeling about Biebercella because I loved it so much. And the videos of Billie Eilish are tickling me. I'm obsessed with them. Have you seen it?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:06

No.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:07

So Justin Bieber did this thing for the song One Less Lonely Girl when he was on tour, where he would bring up you know that song, right? One Less Lonely Girl. Yeah. So he would bring up one girl from the audience and then he put her on a chair and he'd sing to her. Yeah, but Billie Eilish was like a believer, like a serious believer when she was a teenager, when she was like 12, 13. And she got brought up at Coachella, and she is like, she's living her. She's hysterical. She's hysterical. She started to barely walk. She can barely walk. And it's funny because like they know each other. Yeah. Billy pushed her on stage, his wife.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:41

Oh my god. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:42

And like it's so funny because I have seen some people be like, she's just faking it for the bit. I'm like, no, that's a fangirl. I see myself in her. Like, we saw the photos of her bedroom. She was a blue bird down. Yeah. There's no growing out, no matter how much you know. So, like, Billy is freaking out. I'm addicted to those potatoes. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:02

Because he also, he's like hugging her while she's up there, and he's not singing into the mic because he's singing into her ear. Yeah. He's singing one less lonely girl into her ear while hugging her from behind. No, I got really chills. Dream. Obsessed. Wow. I have tears.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:19

My eyes are well into tears. Yeah. So I'm a believer. I'm obsessed. I'm just like, I just am obsessed. And it brings me to such a place of nostalgia. And I I love it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:29

I did text Jillian as I was watching. Um I said, Bitch, you are going to die when you wake up and see the songs. He's up. Are you kidding? Wow. He performed up. That's huge. Huge. I said, Gillian, you are not prepared for what you're about to see. You are not prepared. It was incredible. Wow. And I'm I'm with you. I'm with you, sister. It's never too late to become a believer. And at 32, I'm only in our believers now. I'm a believer. Wow. In a serious way.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:02

Very serious. Yeah. I was never a believer.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:05

And maybe you will die.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:07

Maybe I will.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:07

I was like, I loved those albums, but I wasn't like a I wasn't like a die hard believer.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:13

Is this like the Justin Bieber renaissance?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:16

I feel it is. It is. He seems more healthy than he has.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:19

So that's what I've heard.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:21

And I I think that like people are sort of like opening their eyes to what what he endured as like a young boy in the music industry, and none of it was good.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:33

And we kind of watched him spiral. And now, yeah, it does seem like he's kind of having his comeback. He seems like incredibly happy. And people who say that like he treats Haley Bieber badly, I don't agree. I'm sorry. I don't agree with that. I think he did. You know what? I honestly think that it was it's like a bit between the two of them.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:53

And that's my take on it. Interesting. I feel like he did because I feel like I feel like he was still maybe using a lot of drugs more so then. Like I don't think he like I think people treat it as though he's like actively like horrible to her. Yeah. But I think it's like a more of like somebody is using that you love kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:13

I I could definitely see that, but when people are like he treats her like garbage and like he doesn't even like her and blah blah blah, and like could not disagree more. I think they're in like a deeply, deeply loving marriage. Nikolaus, do you have a confession for us, babe?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:26

Yeah, I kind of have one where I think about well I'm thinking about masks after you talked about yours. I'm thinking about my own my own head of hair because I don't know, that's what's defining our podcast is our hair. Of course. Obviously. I think about how sometimes I do feel like when I shave my head like every other day, that it is like a mask that I choose to put on. Because like I could just let my hair keep keep growing.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:54

Because like most of my most of my head is still able to grow hair. Yeah. It's just Just like this one small portion up at the front, kind of the at the on the top? On the top. Do you remember the name of the spot?

SPEAKER_03 1:06:08

No, because I call it the top. Because it's the top of the head. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:12

Listener, that was an inside joke.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:15

Listener, that was an inside joke. I listener, I did say something so hilarious uh during our our ladies who lunch um our ladies who luncheon time at the Briar, and I was really proud of that. It was just off off the dome, the top even. Anyway.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:32

So I have this spot in my hair that like does is like pretty thin. And so like I could still grow out most of my head of hair and I could make it work, probably. But like I just feel so much c more confident when I shave it off. But now I'm thinking, like, is that really a mask? I don't really know what the relationship of that would be.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:51

I don't know if it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:52

I don't think it is.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:53

But I guess it's like, would you feel confident if you had your hair?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:58

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:59

Then maybe maybe it is a mask. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:02

I don't know, but it's like it's more about confidence.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:04

Yeah. Is it okay? It might be okay to have a mask on. I think it is. I think this is a good thing. I think we all do mask. I have eyeliner on.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:11

Yeah, we each have like something, but as long as our mask is like serving us in some way, like it's a like yeah, this is the mask that I choose to do.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:20

Then I think I think that it isn't necessarily a mask if it's like Right, it's something else. A mask, I think, is when you're doing something for the approval and like to fit in with other people. It's like you're presenting yourself in a specific way to be like perceived a certain way by other people. Right. That's that's how I would describe it.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:39

That's true. Yeah, this is just how I dress.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:41

This is like a I feel like um I'm trying to think of a positive version of the word crutch, like a crutch for something.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:46

I think it's just a form of self-expression. Self-expression. And self-expression is a good thing. I look gorgeous. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:53

Yeah, and I feel I feel really good with my bald head. But looking at pictures, you know, Melissa and I just got tattoos the other day, and so looking through like old pictures of us when I was, you know, had that full head of hair, and I was like, wow, I do kind of I miss that sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:08

But I'm also like you're also a curly girl.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:10

Yeah. Yeah. I did have my curly hairs. And I do I do miss that time, but I'm also like, I can't do that anymore. It's not it's not something I can it doesn't serve you anymore. It doesn't serve me anymore. On your way. Yeah, you have to release it like a butterfly. And I did. Well, thanks for joining us.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:27

Thanks for listening to this kooky crazy episode. Whoa, and live from Melissa's conference room. This is Digress and Confess. Okay, also subscribe to our Patreon if you want to see a video episode of us all of our okay. You let us know what you would like to see on Patreon. I'll tell you our ideas so far. Our Patreon ideas, we're gonna do episode recaps of various things. Um we can even, I I mean, I can even upload the photos I take of myself while I'm having body dysmorphia. Um you can hear maybe some like unbleeped names of things. And you know, the the Patreon is is where it's gonna be where the tea is, I guess. It's giving the Patreon's gonna be where the tea is.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:26

Right now, the Patreon is giving free.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:29

Because, you know, it's our friends listening.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:33

So you just let us know what kind of what what you want the inside scoop on Patreon to be, what you're willing to pay five dollars or perhaps more a month for.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:42

Yeah. But we do know the highest tier enemy of the pod, Anna. Yeah. If you want to be an Anna, you would have to pay whatever the most amount of money is. Yeah. And Anna, for you, we would triple that.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:54

So only choose it would be only choose this if you are Anna.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:58

Trust, you will be dealt with, Anna.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:01

All right, we love you guys. Bye. Thank you for listening to Degrass and Confess. Our show was created and produced by us, Holly, Nick, and Melissa. Our show was edited by Nick. Our music is also by Nick. The views we share in our podcast are our own and do not represent the views of our employers. If you enjoyed hanging out with us, please rate and review wherever you're listening.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:21

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