Minisode: RHORI S1E4-5

JANE'S FONDA.

We're back - we heard you "wandered" more. Join us as we digress about the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. We discuss episodes four and five of the current, ongoing first season. Petah, the podcastas are here.

thank you for listening queenifers!

digress & confess was created by us - holly, nick , & melissa. the show's music was mixed by nick, with credit to kevin macleod. the show is edited by nick (& sometimes melissa). thank you to brian for your editing guidance. thank you to jess for taking our show photo.

follow the show on instagram @digressconfesspod for the latest!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:08

Digress and MS. Welcome back to our mini side. Welcome back and digress and the best.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

We're gonna talk about Real Housewives of Rhode Island. Yeah, we are. Episodes four and five.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Yeah. Yes. I mean to start because I made notes.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

You do have your notes.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Okay. Okay, well, I said Dolores and Liz are the same person. Once again, I'm just I feel like they're trying to trick us. I feel like they're trying to trick us. I said, oh, I needed to discuss this on pod. What is with Joellen's sister wanting to fuck her husband?

SPEAKER_00 0:38

What is it?

SPEAKER_02 0:40

I know. I was gonna I was gonna bring that up too. That is, and the fact that Joelyn is like, they've never had sex. Why would you hey, why would you say that?

SPEAKER_00 0:49

No, I thought she said that they've never kissed.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Or whatever she's gonna say, but they've never they've never hooked up or whatever she said.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

I'm like, why are you defending that?

SPEAKER_02 0:59

Yeah, you need to say that. Yeah, why do you need to say that? I don't think anyone was thinking that. And then I'm thinking about like my own sisters and their husbands, and like if you were like, I've never hooked up with him.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

What? Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Like I that that should just kind of be implied, considering that that's that's sort of your sister.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

So and the sister is like very much playing house with them, like very weird, very weird vibe, very strange. So, yeah, I wrote down what in the fuck is with Joel and sister, and I meant it.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

Yeah, it's true, yeah. Kind of an odd dynamic there for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Yeah, I and I can't wait to see how it plays out.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Yeah, same.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

There just seems like there's like video evidence that, like, I'm like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Like, is Joel watching this right now while it's airing, being like, What the fuck are you doing? I don't know, just the like one comment that she had when like she was, I don't know, doing his laundry.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Like what she's she was washing his drawers, like she was for real washing his underwear.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

And then there was she said made some comment which also felt like a rare rare. It was just bizarre.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

It was very so weird dynamic there. Um stay tuned. Stay tuned for more.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Stay tuned for what else you got. I wrote the Lois Griffin of it all because it's just never ending that they're all Lois Griffin.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Correct.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Um, and that's it. I said, I'm a little sick of Ashley's Shtick. I'm just a girl. I like pizza. She's giving Jennifer Lawrence 2013. Yeah. And, you know, and she's like, she's like, I don't know how I do it. I'm just a mama, but she's a nanny 32 hours a week, which motherhood is still hard. I get it. But like she very much is like giving, like, we're just a struggling family. I'm like, you are an influencer who has a lot of influence. Yeah. You can make $40,000 in like 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

Bachelor Nations paying your bills. I see her and I just think like you are a lesbian.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

That's what I mean. You are a lesbian. Like that photo of her with an eye lesbian.

SPEAKER_02 3:01

She's giving long hair butch. Like, she's she's giving, like, I it's literally giving. It's giving. She to me, I don't know, it's like the backwards, like snapback. She wants to lick her lips and say, hey mama, and rub her hands together. Like she is a hey mama's lesbian. She just maybe doesn't know it yet or is like deeply closeted due to internalized misogyny. And I texted my lesbian friend this. I said, This woman is a lesbian, if I've ever seen one. And I said, um, she the the and the fact that she was on The Bachelor makes me believe that even more. Yep. Because it's like, what's the most heteronormative thing I could literally ever do? Correct. Um, maybe go on The Bachelor.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Yeah. She also said, I think in maybe the first episode, she was like, I was a virgin till I was like 29 or something. Yes. Which, you know, I was a virgin pretty late too, but like not that late. And like it's I don't feel like her case would be there was no opportunity. I agree. Right. It's it's not, it's not everything, but it's not it's kind of adding some flame. Some some fuel to the flames.

SPEAKER_02 4:15

Yeah, so there is something just like really queer about her. Um, and whether she knows it or not is a mystery to me, but like that woman is a lesbian.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Yeah, like she is into women.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

And I can't wait to watch it play out.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

The internalized misogyny, like um, I'm not like other girls, to actually I'm gay pipeline is very real.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

It's very strong. Yeah, it's very strong.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Who hey, who among us?

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Hey, who among us? What else do you uh what else did I write? Oh. I have a my husband wanted. Oh, yeah. Wanted, wanded. Yeah. Even they couldn't understand enough. He might want it.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

What did he want? He wants it. Wanded. Oh, wandered.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Yeah, yeah. She was the hard card. That killed me. My husband wanded. I hate Rosie's toddlers and Tierra's confessional look. I yeah. Oh, that is exactly what it looks like. It looks, I hate all of our confessionals, but that one in particular, it comes on screen and I just like start seething.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Yeah, she's definitely like on ASOS in the special event section ordering confessional looks.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Yep. Yeah. She posted a link to her dress because I saw somebody repost it who was being a hater, and it was a twelve hundred dollar dress that she added the things to, but I actually think that she ordered a Shein version of that $1,200 dress.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

I would agree with that. I would agree with that. Because, like, even if she did have money to spend or does have money to spend on like more expensive clothes, like there is just something about her to me that strikes me as like a Shein girl. Yes. You know, like why would I spend that much when I can get the same thing for way less? Yes. Oh yeah. Very that.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

That is what she's on Timu for sure.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

Like she doesn't, I think she doesn't understand. I don't know, this makes me sound pretentious, but I feel like she doesn't strike me as the type of person who understands like fashion and trends enough to know like when something looks expensive versus not, especially on television. Yeah. Being like photographed and videoed under like studio lights and like hD cameras. Yes. You know?

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

I still don't like it. Rosie. Rosie. Nosy Rosie.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

I can't stand Rosie. Yeah, I can't stand her. No.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

Um, I also wrote Jane's Fonda. Yes. Jane's Fonda.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

I love Alicia.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

I do too.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

I think she I think Alicia might be one of my faves. Alicia and Liz, I think, are my faves.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

I think that's the same for me, too. Yeah. So that was what I wrote for episode four. Yes. Jane's Fonda. Jane's Fonda only.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

I also wrote some for episode four. Wow. Huge. Literally first one on the list, Jane's Fonda. Jane's Fonda. Yeah. Uh Liz turning off her chair during the talking heads. Oh my gosh. There's this one moment where she's like having in her confessional and she's like talking to the camera with like her side profile like this, and she has like one arm over the chair and is like talking to the back of the studio. Love you. And it just was like Liz, get it, babe. I fucking love her. She's like, I don't give a fuck. I don't know where I am right now. Yeah. I'm just doing what I want. I love her.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

I love her.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Uh Rosie's Girl We See-Ms.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Oh yeah. She has somewhat girl we see himself, I'd say.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Okay, that's how I imagine what Girl We Seems is. So what is that not what Girl We See-Ms is?

SPEAKER_01 7:42

I does Rosie have blue eyes? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

Does it matter?

SPEAKER_01 7:47

You have to have blue eyes. Yeah. I mean, you can have green eyes, because you guys, you I mean, you have bluish you say that you have blue eyes, I feel, and I feel like you have greenish eyes. Okay. I'm just so unique. You're right. My eyes just like change color. Piercingly green eyes.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Yes. Nick the yeah, I would consider Nick's eyes green. My eyes are like kind of grayish. I don't know. But they are girl we seeums regardless of what color they are.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

True. And I think Rosie's are actually green.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

I feel like she she's kind of girl we see them. I mean, she just has the efforts of girl we see.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Because you can see the whites of her eyes around all sides.

SPEAKER_01 8:21

Oh, she's putting in the whitening drops every morning. Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

And like you can see the whites above and below the iris. It's a lot.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Yeah, she's uh she's a Lumify customer.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Uh I know we don't like Rosie, but I got a couple of notes here about Rosie. Um first one is Rosie is sleeping her way off of the news.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

And I love that. I love that she's just doing whatever she wants. But then I also have this note, which I don't know if I agree with, but it says Rosie is a more confident version of Whitney Rose.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

I'm telling you, there are parallels.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

I do see it.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Yeah, but I love Whitney Rose.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

I do too.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

I do too. I love Whitney way more.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

You know, maybe Rosie will be kind of like the underdog who eventually makes her way to icon status. I don't see that happening, but it's always never say never. Yeah, never say never.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

I've also seen so far just with uh Salt Lake City, uh Rhode Island, and now the first couple of episodes of Potomac, that there's always seems to be like one kind of like Ditzy wife, and I think Rosie is that for Rhode Island. Like I mean, they're all kind of Ditzy on Rhode Island, but right, but like kind of how like Whitney Whitney Rose was like the Ditzy one.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

Yeah, yeah. Like the young the young one, the young ditzy one, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

Right.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

Young and but there are two other women who are Rosie's age. True. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Yeah, I think we talked about this before that it's kind of a young cast. So like it's I think I feel like it's cute's a little a little bit young. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:49

My opinion on Rosie after watching the most recent episode when she's going on and on about how she like loves her gays or whatever. I again texted lesbian friend and said Rosie is the type of um drag brunch guest who's the reason why they have to give like the no-touching consent is mandatory speech. I know that she is like accosting gay people in queer spaces. Yeah. After like bottomless mimosas, she is like feeling confident, feeling like yes, queen, and just like making gay men around her uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

Um this is yeah, yeah, this is why I have to stop watching Potomac because there's like there's one wife on there, but I'm like that. You are exactly there's a wife exactly like that on Potomac.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

I guess I just am like, you don't really get to give yourself like the title of an ally.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Like someone else gives that to you.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

Yeah, someone else gives that to you.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

You first tarot deck.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

You're sort of like awarded the position of a gay guy's like hag and handler.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

You don't really get to just be like to tell yourself about that.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

You don't get to be like gay guys love me.

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

Because if you are the type of person who says that, they probably don't.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

You don't.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

So that's that's kind of my opinion of Rosie when she was going on and on about being being a gay icon or whatever she was saying about herself. I was like, you most certainly are not. And the Bravo gays are are speaking on it because no one likes her.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Tell me, I don't think I would have like placed that, but you're a hundred percent correct.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

Yeah, like I just know she she gets a little um a little too drunk at drag brunches.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

I know she says she has a gay best friend and he doesn't know her that well. Yeah, correct.

SPEAKER_00 11:41

Wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

That's uh because many people have called Nick their best friend to me.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

It's true.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

That I would say that's incorrect.

SPEAKER_00 11:51

That is incorrect, yeah. I do like saying bestie a lot to like friends, but yeah, but like without indication.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

Without indication, people will be like, I mean, I remember enemy, real enemy being like Neg is literally like my best friend and I'm his.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

I remember that.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Okay, so you no, but like no no no, like post-college she said that. Oh, that's the kind of behavior is like my gay best friend, he doesn't know her.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Okay, yep. I see the parallels. Yep. Um, and my last note for episode four was finally calling out the truth, voof clique.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Oh, yeah, the voof everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

But everyone says voof. Where's my woof?

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Do they all say woof?

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Where's at least Rola does? Where's my woof?

SPEAKER_02 12:34

What do you what is that? It's a champagne.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

So it's the champagne that they always have. And it's this really fancy wine.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Rachel's favorite champagne.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

And there is this book called The Widow Clique, which is like about the is widow. And so the Widow Cliqueau is about the winemaker that like makes this very expensive wine. So when I see it on there, I'm like, oh my god, my girl Woo. Yeah, but it's making sense. Um yeah, they keep calling it Woof, and I love that. I'm like, where's my Woof?

SPEAKER_01 13:01

My Woof.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Give me my Woof.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Give me my woof.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

So yeah, I really quoted here, said from Rula says, Where's my woof?

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Where's my woof?

SPEAKER_00 13:07

Where's my woof? Love that. That's big for me.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

Um, I said most boring gays ever. Oh, yeah. It like they're like weird coastal conservative gays.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

Right, it's giving, it's giving like the the it's giving. Um I don't know if you guys saw on Instagram Reels, there was a gay Republican cruise. It was really it was really that vibe. It was, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

I was literally like, oh, these aren't these aren't my gay people.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

No, these are conservative um guys gays. Yeah, that's why they don't care about any of the women who are on the boat right now.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Because they're still very much like ascribed to the patriarchy, they really love the patriarchy. Yeah, we love both.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Ew, pussy kind of gays. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and then that's those are also some of the people that Rosie was like, my gays, and I was like, that's not the people. They hate you. They're real. They hate you in many ways. Interroves. And yeah, so I said that. I said, Ruda girl, eyes wide shut. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

Well, that was crazy. Because what did what did her husband say that his mom was like sick in the hospital?

SPEAKER_01 14:12

His mom was sick in the hospital.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

And Joelyn's like, he wants to leave because the girl that he's fucking is posting on Instagram that he's like gonna come see her. And then her supposed to hang out.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Yeah, right. Being like Rua being like, oh, I'm not with him anymore.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Yeah, it's like, wait, wouldn't you go to the hospital for an occasion like this?

SPEAKER_01 14:31

I said, Jared, my mom's in the hospital, and then you guys called Jared an hour later after we both left, and Jared said, Oh, I'm not with her.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

I would I would beat his ass. I would beat his ass.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

I listen, I have done some pretty desperate things for the attention of a man. I can admit that. Same. But I think um when it gets to a place of of rula, girl, girl, it's time to stand the fuck up. Yeah. Because she knows. Oh, she knows for sure. She just doesn't. I'm just like, go find a different rich guy who like at least doesn't do that. Right. You could definitely find one.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Easy. Easy. She's exactly the woman a rich guy is looking for. Correct.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

And he's already done this before. Right. With Alicia's Spanish teacher. Obviously. Like, come on.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Alicia's Spanish teacher. Also, I will say I laughed so hard when she was like, he goes to the gym every morning, and Joelyn said, Does he look like he goes to the gym? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Joellen? She was right. I feel like they were trying to give Joelyn like the villain edit a little bit, but she's I love her too, and I don't think she's a villain. She she's just she's just real. She's just real.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

She's real. She's just real.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

She's real for all of it, yeah. Yeah. I also think I said I need Holly's opinion on hair, but I don't know what I was referring to.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

Um, maybe what's her name? Kelsey? Is that the pageant girl?

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Oh, Ashley's.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

That is I wanted some house. I wanted your opinion on her cutting hair.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Ashley, that's Ashley.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Oh, Ashley, yeah. Kelsey is cutting Ashley's hair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Is her name Kelsey?

SPEAKER_00 16:07

Yep, it is Kelsey.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

Yes. They all look so they all look the same. Well, Kelsey's living my dream of having just like a rich husband and a salon in her home, and she doesn't have to work because she's rich, but she gets to do hair for fun. I love it. I love it. I am a little bit curious. I'm like, I did she go to like cosmetology school?

SPEAKER_01 16:24

It's not clear to me.

SPEAKER_02 16:25

It's not clear to me either, but I don't know. I'm I'm sort of like the way she was like doing stuff, I'm sort of like, I think she has training of some kind. Because I've seen people give haircuts who like haven't been to cosmetology school. Yeah. Yes, you you you are one, one of them. No sectioning, nothing, just kind of going for it. Um, and she wasn't doing that. Like, she did seem like there was some knowledge that she knew what she was doing. Yeah. So I was like, I wonder if maybe she went to cosmetology school while she was like doing pageant pageant stuff, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

I almost get the sense that she did it recently, though.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

Like she maybe, yeah, for something to do.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

For something to do. Imagine I'm thinking about like when you were in cosmetology school. Like, imagine being in cosmetology school, you guys are all broke as hell. Yeah. And then she's like doing this for fun in a like a bazillion dollar home. That's so funny to me.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

The juxtaposition.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

I love it, yeah. Um, but I I liked it. I'm like, she's living my dream. I love it. Rich husband doing hair for fun in a salon that is in her home. Yeah. Yeah. That's the dream. But I um I agree with like what she was upset about, like doing Rosie's hair. Oh and Rosie like not tagging her or whatever, but like posting a like new hair picture and then not tagging the hairstylist. That's so shady. And that's again why I'm just like Rosie just gets on my nerves. She's such a shit stir.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

And I don't think she's doing it on purpose. I think it's all an accident. But that's part of the problem.

SPEAKER_02 17:58

Like, I don't know. I think she might be doing it on purpose. You think so?

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Yeah, because she's doing it on purpose, but she is doing it on purpose to an effect that she thinks it's having, and it's having the opposite effect. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Like, I feel like she went into this show being like, I'm gonna be like the iconic, the gay icon, the the dra the I'm gonna be the drama. Am I the drama? Like, I really feel like that was sort of what she thought she was doing going into it, but doesn't have the self-awareness to know that she's actually just like deeply unlikable.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

Um, or that's how she's coming across.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Because I really didn't like in the fourth episode when she was talking to, I think, Liz about oh, so what do you think of so and so? Um, Alicia, right? Yeah, yeah. And then I don't remember. No, she she asks Alicia what she thinks of Liz. Yeah, what she thinks of Liz, like what Liz is doing. And then that's why they get into that argument at the bonfire because she's like, Well, that's not what you said to me earlier, Alicia. Yeah, why don't you say what you said to me earlier? Like, it's just she's she's like, I don't know. She's watched every season of she's watched every season of every she's a Bravo fan, and she's trying to like play the game, but is losing. Yeah, and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Wow, wow.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

That that's my opinion, at least. So I don't know. I think I think she's very calculated, but it's like backfiring against her.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Interesting. I can't wait to uh I can't wait to watch her more closely now. I get that lens. Oh wow. I the I had one note I had one note for episode five. And in the captions, because I have the captions on what I'm watching.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

Of course.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Um Jo Ellen sits down with Rula to talk about whatever they go to a bar and you know they order some drinks. Uh Rula orders uh in espresso martini, and the bartender brings it back, and the captions say espresso martini. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was something just so delightful, small detail where I was like, and that was for me. Beautiful. That was for me.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Beautiful. I love it. Anyway, that's that me espresso, you said. Yeah, that's that me espresso.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

Espresso, yeah. Espresso martini.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

All right, we'll join us next time. Wow. Thanks. Thanks. Thank you for listening to The Casting Confess. Our show was created and produced by us, Holly, Nick, and Melissa. Our show is edited by Nick. Our music is also by Nick. The views we share on our podcast are our own and do not represent the views of our employers. If you enjoyed hanging out with us, please rate and review wherever you're listening. T T Y L.