You can do hard things

“You can do hard things.”

For over a year, that was the mantra Nicole repeated to herself every morning before getting out of bed—and recently, she’s found herself coming back to it again.

In this episode of The Bestie Space, we talk about what real strength actually looks like: allowing yourself to break down, asking for help, healing from toxic relationships, and learning that you do not have to carry everything alone.

Because sometimes the breakdown comes right before the breakthrough.

If you’ve been exhausted from being “the strong one,” this episode is for you. 💛

✨ Let’s stay connected, Bestie!

 ➡️ Explore more breakthroughs, guides, and resources at https://stan.store/NicoleLBestie

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to the Bestie Space. I'm your husband called your breakthrough guide, coach, and woman telling us what it's like to feel stuck, burned out, and in need of a friend. This podcast is your soft place to land and your strong place to rise. We're talking real life healing, emotional empowerment, and how to move forward when life feels like it cracked you open. So grab a coffee, take a deep breath, and listen in to some real talk, Bestie. I'm here for you. Hey besties. Welcome to the show today. And before we dive into what I wanted to share with you, I first just want to thank you for listening. I have had such amazing feedback, and I appreciate you all including me in your day and finding some of these nuggets that I am sharing to be helpful or you're connecting with. And that can be for both positive and negative. So if we're always speaking in a negative way to ourselves, um, that's what we believe. But on the flip side, when we say things, even when we maybe don't believe it right away, um, they can over time become our real. And so there was a season of my life that before I even got out of bed in the morning, I would literally just lay there and take a deep breath and say to myself, you can do hard things. You can do hard things every single day. And I wasn't saying that because I felt strong and I was not saying that because I had it all together or even because I was motivated. I honestly had to tell myself that because it was the only thing that kept me moving forward and literally got me to put my feet on the ground and get up and do my day. And I think a lot of people misunderstand what strength looks like. And they think that strength means never crying, never breaking down, always showing up, never needing help. But that's not real life, and that is definitely not healing. And so recently I found myself having to revisit that same mantra again. You can do hard things, and not just in the morning. I would often say it to myself. Um, I even said it to myself around lunchtime today. Um, and it it hit me differently this time because I realized that doing hard things doesn't always mean pushing through. So I would in the past, I'd have to, I'd have to just keep taking each step forward. And I really trusted the universe to show me a way and to help me to figure it out. But I've had the ability to kind of reflect and and know that sometimes doing the hard thing is actually letting yourself fall apart for a minute. It may look like asking for help, it may be just admitting that you're overwhelmed or actually showing your emotions and crying instead of pretending that you're fine. And Bessie, I need you to hear this part that having a breakdown does not mean you're failing. Having a breakdown does not mean you're failing. Because often the breakdown is what is creating space for your breakthrough. It's creating space for your breakthrough. Because when you've spent years holding everything together, being the strong one, surviving toxic dynamics and carrying the emotional weight of everyone around you, eventually your body, your mind, your soul, it starts asking for air. It just, it's it's gasping, it needs a break. And if you've ever been in a narcissist relationship, whether it be a romantic, a family, a friendship, or even a work relationship, you know exactly what I mean. Because you start believing that your needs are too much, or your emotions are too much, or they're inconvenient, or asking for help will make you appear that you are weak. And this this is a kicker here that your worth depends on what you do for everyone else. So over time, you become smaller, you become quieter, you are more exhausted, and it's not because you're weak, it's because you have been emotionally surviving that toxic relationship for far too long. So let me say this clearly to you anyone who consistently made you feel less than, or anyone that is making you consistently feel less than, they're not helping you grow. They're not somebody that you want in your circle. That is toxicity, and healing from that, even if it's for a short period of time in your life, healing from that experience is gonna take time. One of the biggest shifts that I've learned over the last three plus years of going through a high conflict divorce, dealing with my father's death, and really truly figuring out how to be a single mom is that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Asking for help, it's not a sign of weakness. It's actually strength. You are being strong when you've identified that you need help. That is real strength. And I know for some of us, especially moms, how difficult that is. Because we're used to being the helper, the organizer, the emotional support system, the one who keeps the house running. But Bestie, you do not have to carry everything alone in order to prove your worth. So ask your friends for help. Let people show up for you. And honestly, ask your kids for help too. I get to a breaking point where things that shouldn't annoy me that my kids will ask for start to annoy me. And I know that I have essentially enabled them. Um, and now I'm asking them for help, and I am giving them those life skills and I am teaching them why it is important that they do those things. And it's not because you're failing as a mom, it's not that I'm failing as a mom, it's because as a family, we are teams, even if it is just you and your child, and there's no other adult, you are still a team, and sometimes we we have to stop centering ourselves as the one who does everything so that we can finally breathe again. I think that so many women are silently drowning because they think asking for help means that they're not capable. And the truth is, is that you can be incredibly capable and still need support. Those two things can exist together. They should exist together. You can be capable and still need support. So if you are in a season right now where you're exhausted, you're emotional, you're overwhelmed, you're crying more than usual, or you just feel like you're barely holding it together, I want you to know something. I want you to listen to me right now. You are not broken. You are human. You are human. And maybe your breakthrough is closer than you think. So tomorrow morning, before you even get out of bed, I want you to take a breath, put your hand to your heart, and remind yourself that I can do hard things, not perfectly, not alone, but one honest moment at a time. And bestie, sometimes the strongest thing you can do is let someone help carry that weight. If this episode episode spoke to you, man, I'm tired. You know that I needed this message just as much as you needed this message this week. If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone. Share it with someone who's been trying to hold everything together alone. If you are in a hard season right now, I am so glad that you listened. I'm so glad that you're here. You do not have to do this alone anymore. Talk soon, bestie. Thank you so much for being here in the bestie space. If this episode spoke to you, make sure that you send it to a friend or share it on social and take me. Coffee underscore N underscore gratitude. Please also consider leaving me a five-star review. It helps us grow the bestie space community, and I will be forever grateful. And remember, you got this. It's not therapy, medical advice, or a substitute for professional support. If you need help, please reach out to a licensed provider or a crisis resource in your area.