BYS - In the Studio - Hitting the Mat with Ryan Farniok

Bear Your Shield gets real in the gym. 

We are hitting the mat and discussing Jiu Jitsu with Ryan Farniok, bearer of not just a shield, but also a purple belt, who also happens to be Ron's son-in-law. 

Ryan discusses the intricacies of the sport, as well as his faith journey and why he hits the gym - it's all part of the journey.

Let's hit it!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Hey there, true believers. Welcome back to the Bear Your Shield Podcast. I'm your host, Ron Scheffler, and we are taking it to the mat today. We're going to the gym. We're going to take a look at jujitsu and how you can bear your shield within that martial arts. So joining me in the studio is my son-in-law, Ryan Farniak, longtime jujitsu competitor. And uh Ryan, welcome to the studio.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Hey Ron, thanks for having me. Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Yeah, awesome. Okay, first off, the jujitsu, it's just a gym, it's not like a dojo, so that's something specific to jujitsu, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Correct. Usually they go by gym, sometimes dojo, but um it's not as traditional as some of the other martial arts.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Yeah, okay, but but but but but and we'll probably get into this, there is some etiquette that must be followed. Uh we were talking about earlier that's wrong about it, yeah. Uh so tell me, you know, I know some around the locker room, around the gym, there's usually some kind of nickname, name calling. Is there a you know, I don't know. Do you have a nickname in the gym?

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Nope. Nope, just Ryan. Hey guy. Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Is it because they're afraid of you, or is that they're that's not a thing?

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Nope, nope, we t we hardly give nicknames out unless you've really earned them, and we don't have too many of those floating around.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

All right. Um, so let's start off with, you know, just tell us what is jujitsu?

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Jiu Jitsu is a martial art um based mostly around grappling. Um, if you mix a little bit of judo, a little bit of wrestling um with a little bit of uh Japanese martial arts for the submissions, um you'd kind of arrive at Brazilian jujitsu. Um it's a submission-based martial art, so we do go until there's a tap, uh break, or unconscious opponent. Um, but there's little to no striking unless you're learning the self-defense aspect of the sport.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

So is that is that how it's different between other martial arts like maybe judo, karate, um boy, I can't think of what the Israeli. Is it different than all that?

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Yep. Uh I started off in Muay Thai. I did six years of the it's a stand-up striking that you use your elbows, knees, kicks, um, as well as uh there's a boxing component to that. But after uh taking enough head abuse um from the shots that you eat in that sport, I decided on the grappling aspect because it's a little bit softer, easier on the body overall. You're not taking the head trauma. Um, but where it differs is um it is a grappling, um heavy sport. So judo is typically um always on the feet. Um points are scored off of takedowns. There is a submission element to it, but that's not kind of what they highlight. Wrestling kind of um is definitely a grappling martial art, but they stop at a pin-based system. Um within jujitsu, there's points um or the snapper break, and obviously the verbal or uh physical tap.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

And the snap or break being the leg, arm, things like that. Appendage of choice, yes. You're just talking, you're just very nonchalant about when you say that. So I just want to make sure to listeners out there what what you mean. So you can I I kind of think here you just answered, you know, why you picked jujitsu over other martial arts, just head trauma and whatnot. But um there's different rankings too within the sport. So talk to me a little bit about the belt covers, and if I remember it, you're purple.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

So tell me, let's talk about the different levels first.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

Sure. So it goes white, blue, purple, brown, and black. Uh a white belt would be kind of your day one through maybe two years within the sport. You're learning the basics of how to fall, the basic positions of the grappling sport, like guard and um playing off the back and stand-up and really learning the terminology of the sport. Um, blue belt would be your two to four years of experience belt. Um, you've now, if we're thinking of it as like learning how to speak a language, you're now putting together sentence structure. You know most of the words, you know, most of the spots, but now you're learning how they um, you know, connect to one another. Purple belt, there's a lot more freedom at that belt. Generally, you've been training for four plus years. Um, and you are speaking in paragraphs. You're you've learned how things chain together, you're dangerous from every spot. Um, if you were to stop training here um at purple belt level, you um are pretty competent in just about any self-defense scenario against an untrained opponent. Um, you're really going to start toying with people at that level. Brown and black belt, the separation there. Um, aside from learning some of the more advanced techniques of the belts, it's really just time on mats, time in training, how many hours you've put in over the years um to add to your experience.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

You know, you mentioned the different color belts, but also um we we were talking once about we came to see you in Wisconsin Dells at a tournament. True. And if I remember right, like you were kind of like early start blue or initial blue belt, I think maybe is what it was called. Yep. And you went against what would you call it, like more experienced blue blues or yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:08

So gen there is a striping system in it, and it's kind of a nice little um dopamine hit when you get a stripe and you get recognized for some of the time you put on in those years in between belts. Um, and they're you know, sometimes it's just when the coach decides you're ready. Some gyms go by based off of how proficient you are at certain things, but um it just basically goes to show how close you are to that next belt. Um, yeah, during that tournament I had no stripes. It was kind of my first tournament at blue belt. Um, didn't go my way. Um, but yeah, those the two gentlemen that were also in the bracket were very close to getting their purple belt and really were trying to show their coaches with that last tournament that they were ready.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

Yeah, and and you've got um you've got another tournament coming up here playing a few weeks, a couple weeks, two weeks in uh Hudson, Wisconsin. Uh you're on the on a poster I thought that was pretty cool going against somebody else. And you know, I'm looking forward to hearing how things go with that. But I've seen you besides that one tournament, um we came and saw you in a in the gym, and I just remember um it seemed to me like first first of all, you know, I didn't know what was going on, but you were in locked with this dude, and both of you guys were just sweating like mad, and I'm like, it's not showing like anything's going on, but the sweat's pouring out, so there is strain and stress and muscle action going on.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Yeah, there's there's a lot of friction, um, a lot of muscle, a lot of strain, a lot of technique. Um, the gentleman that you're speaking about, my training partner Brandon, uh, he's a little bit lighter than me, but about my same skill level. So when we um when we spar, we lock horns pretty good, and it's uh you know, a battle of who moves the quickest and who reacts first, and um it can get pretty uh pretty deadlocked out there.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

You know, how so tell me a little bit, like tell the audience how did you get into jujitsu in the first place? Like were you did you watch it? Did you just go with a friend? Like how how did that start?

SPEAKER_01 8:15

Yep, my interest um peaked when uh early in my high school days, um, I got pretty heavily um into the UFC and watching um the different fights, and um as I started to peek out on my own, and I joined uh the Muay Thai gym, which was the same place that I trained jujitsu at um and did that for a while. Um, and got, you know, it was six years, so I got to a pretty proficient where I felt good about my boxing, and I'm like, you know what? Um I work in law enforcement at the time I was working hospital security. Um in certain situations, boxing is not how you solve uh you know somebody attacking you. So um I got into the grappling aspect, and um it was much safer on my body, and and in my opinion, is the much better option for self-defense.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

And and of course, like you said, it's gonna help you with your job, and you know, uh football players who don't work out, military guys who don't work out, police officers, first responders, firefighters who do not work out, do not take care of themselves, really start to fade in their job aspect. So kudos to you for that. Um I guess I was gonna I I was gonna ask you, um, you got into the jujitsu then. Um is it do you feel like jujitsu in a way is a form of therapy for you?

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Absolutely. Yeah, it um the type of workout it is, like take the strip away the um self-defense and the the competition um and the social aspects of it. I mean, it is a workout unlike any other. We have um guys that run ultra marathons and do the CrossFit competitively and come from all different sport backgrounds, and you jump into this and that kind of workout, um, especially where you're struggling with another human um who's trying to impose their will upon you. Um, you really learn valuable life lessons about dealing with struggle and dealing with pressure and dealing with um, you know, just kind of physical aspects that reflect into your personal life as well. Um, so it helps you really de-stress, get a good workout, and um learn those life lessons at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Yeah, I think that's pretty cool. Um, you know, when before we met, I I was we were coming to Minnesota to meet you for the first time. You're uh now married to Gabrielle, but then started just starting dating her. And um you know, I was kind of like, well, you know, I'm four and a half hours away, I'm in another state, and you know, Gabrielle's already telling us that, you know, you're a little nervous to meet us for the first time. So it was like, oh, well, that's that's okay. You know, that should be okay because any person should be a little bit nervous. It's n it should be one, natural, but also there's should be a little maybe respect to the the parents in that. Uh but I remember thinking, you know, like um you know how President Trump will go and shake someone's hand and like holds it for like an awkwardly long moment. Sure. And then it's like everybody's like, it's painful to watch, right? So I had this idea in my head, like, okay, I don't know you from Adam. I'm gonna go up and I'm just gonna hold your hand for an awkwardly long moment. Not as long as President Trump, but I just wanted to like let you know, I'm still dad, you know, absolutely, I'm still dad. And so I remember uh shaking your hand, and I and then I was like, you know, okay, you know, two, three seconds, whatever it was that was a little bit longer than the the quick shake, and I'm like, okay, subliminally I feel like I got that point across to you. Uh and I don't I don't think we ever talked about this, right? But nope. But then uh so then we leave, and then I find out that you're a jiu-jitsu that you train martial in martial arts and you UFC fighting. I was like, well, that guy probably could have whacked me out in one hit, but you're right, being like, well, I'm dad, you know, so anyways, I tried.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

That that's dad's job. Um, but that's the fun thing about martial arts is they I think in sometimes they get a bad rap, the gyms and stuff for being this tough guy culture. And I'm sure that there are those outliers out there, but for the most part, you know, most of our clientele at the gym are we working full-time, their parents, they're you know, come from all walks of life, all different um ages and everything, and it's uh a really big place of community. It's good for people um that might struggle to find that sense of belonging. Come to the, you know, come to our gym. Everybody's so warm and welcoming. It's not this kind of um, you know, uh jock-esque environment. Um, it can be if that's what you're looking for. I mean, we definitely have subdivisions of people who take this, you know, very seriously and they want to win, but 90% of the people that come into my gym are, you know, just average Joes.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Yeah, you know, and I noticed that uh different different walks of life, different sizes and shapes in in your gym. Uh, when we've been there a couple of times, some guys super fit, other guys, you know, a little bit bigger, and and people built like yourself, you know, tall and thin, athletic. So it's really interesting to me to see how how people are. And of course, you know, you've got an advantage being tall with that mechanical advantage, right? I mean, uh, that's that's pretty cool from from that standpoint being in the sport. Um tell me a little bit about like uh I when I look at you when we talk, um you know, when Gabrielle was telling us about you initially, um to me personally, and and I I could be off here, but the way I think, I see some of my attitudes, uh, my beliefs, actions that I have uh in you uh as well, and um I feel like that I can be pretty guarded. Do you feel that that you're guarded uh like as a per you have a personality, you have close-knit friends versus a lot of friends type of thing, or do you feel that you're personally you're guarded and jujitsu maybe is supports that?

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Yeah, I mean I I would say that I'm pretty, you know, a little bit more of an introvert in that respect, of having a smaller circle, a little bit more guarded, partially probably because of upbringing the other half, you know, that law enforcement side to it. But that is um the nice thing about the gym and the community is it actually kind of brings that out of you a little bit because of all the, you know, like I said, all the different walks of life and experience levels, not only in jujitsu but life itself. Um kind of helps me curb the what could be seen as a bad habit and make it a good one.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

Yeah, I like that. I like I like that the fact that you keep bringing up community. Um you know, for me, uh I I know that I'm guarded and and uh I'm careful who my friends are. I've um made some decisions where I don't want to run with certain people because of what what they do, and you know, sometimes even just with certain friends, uh I find that um I've lost friends because of my my faith and wanting to follow Christ. Not in the fact that they don't believe in God, but I just feel like sometimes just people aren't following. So I get guarded like that. Um so I I appreciate that you have that that community there of support that I'm is it I I don't want to call the term brotherhood, but I think I think is a strong brotherhood rare, right?

SPEAKER_01 15:51

Oh absolutely. When you uh you know, ultimately the goal of jujitsu, if you're looking at it from a self-defense aspect, which I would say most people that come into the gym, they're trying to learn that kind of um how to defend themselves and stuff like that. When you're struggling with another person, like during our open roles where it's live sparring, you're you're trying to win, and you're having somebody that's actively trying to choke you, break your bone, but it in the same breadth, you have this like respect with your training partners as such that you trust them literally with your life when you're out there. Um, you know, uh hey, I you have me in a fully locked up choke, you're gonna honor that tap or that verbal tap um and not put me unconscious and keep the choke and hurt me, you know, and through that there I think there's a level of uh uh I don't know if intimacy is the too strong of a word, but like a like a closeness. Um, because I think in today's day and age, um a lot of you know, men especially don't have that where you're kind of in close contact with another human um and being through a struggle where you're mutually combating each other builds a brotherhood, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Yeah. Similar to probably uh infantry and police officers who have partners and detectives and whatnot like that. I'm sure a lot of that is similar. Um you know, uh for me, you know, when when uh the how I got a little bit guarded, you know, I was bullied as a kid uh in elementary school, all throughout uh middle school. And then I'd used to go home and like you know, I'd you know, I'd I'd come home and I'd cry about it, and then I'd go down to the basement and I had the survivor album, Eye of the Tiger, you know, and so I cranked that up in the stereo. I start lifting weights on the bench, and that would last for about three days until you know I went back off to my comic books or whatever it was that I did, you know, because uh some they were picking on somebody else. But you know, uh I had this this hardened heart uh during that time that it continued to progress into my adulthood, and I feel that that's how I kind of became guarded. Um from a from a standpoint of your heart, when you're when you hit the mat, do you feel like you have a hardened heart at all about maybe just life or you know, your life, your job pressure from from being in being on the street with you know in the police officer role? Um is there something you know just the way society is nowadays? Do you feel like you've got a hardened heart like that at all?

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Oh absolutely, having um I've I sympathize with that feeling a hundred percent. I grew up um kind of undersized, longer hair, glasses, braces, the whole thing. So went through bullying as well. And then when you get to um different law enforcement jobs and security and you see how um some people are capable of treating not only you for the uniform you're wearing, but also their brothers and sisters, you know, how they how they treat people. Um and it's very easy to become jaded and have a have a hardened heart. But um the the martial arts uh all around, no matter which art, obviously I'm biased towards jujitsu, but um no matter which one you do, you um I don't know, I think it um it starts to erode that hardened heart um a little bit through that combat, through that reforging, that closeness, the um the people that you uh sweat and bleed on the mats with um definitely helps put everything in perspective through that struggle.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Yeah, you know, ha having that and that having that hardened heart, I I say it I don't say it nonchalantly, you know, that that can bring up anger and other things in in me. And it wasn't until, you know, I really really decided like uh Christ really brought me to my knees and I just had to like realize uh let the scales fall off my eyes. I would have called myself a believer my whole life, but um I feel like if I would have died earlier that Christ would have said, I wish you were hot or cold, but you know, I you're neither and I'm gonna spit you out. I I don't know you, you know. And that that does kind of give me pause and chills in my life now. Like thank thank goodness that God has let me continue on and like soften my heart and and uh continue to try to try and follow him. Um and with Christ healing healing that hardness and you know it's just allowed me to uh through him I was able to forgive others and mostly kind of forgive myself. Uh I think if I think back on some things, I'm I'm my biggest critic. I think you're your biggest criticism. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Yeah, nobody's harder on me than me. That's for sure. Um sometimes that uh opponent that you have when you go into uh a gym and you're training is uh is another person, and sometimes figuratively you're rolling out there with your sin or with your struggle, um, and kind of learning to um properly compartmentalize that. And like you said, similar um just a little bit ago, the block screen on my phone says, Lord save me from living a life that ends in I Never Knew You. Uh just a little prayer that I constantly need to remind myself of to you know keep uh not being lukewarm. Um like you said, hot or cold, I'm gonna choose hot.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

Yeah, I I love that. We were watching this uh DVD series. Um I think there's like it's like a six-episode series. Kyle, um I'm gonna butcher his last name, Idleman, I believe it is. He's a pastor in Kentucky, and he did this series and book called Not a Fan. And basically he's like, you know, I don't want to be in the stands and just be a fan of Jesus. I need to be in the arena, in the game, sure following Christ. And um my my wife Tracy and I were watching it and uh watched like the first episode, and he's talks about the very passage with Jesus I will spit you off or I do not know you. And Uh my oldest son Jake, he was sitting over on the couch like he wasn't interested in the show, and all of a sudden he was like, Oh my gosh, you know, I could it's like shocked him. And he realized, yeah, that's true. So the next thing we know, he's sitting next to us watching watching the series. And it's a very powerful series. If if any of the listeners out there haven't haven't seen that before, it's called Not a Fan. And uh I'll ruin one thing by saying the main character dies in the very first episode. So what the heck's gonna happen, right? So it's kind of cool. Um so uh not only do we gain another son, you I mean, uh I like saying that you become part of uh our family and we become a part of yours, but the reality is you you do have your own family that you are starting, and you have a son, Ollie. Sure do he's five now, energizer bunny. Yeah, he's he's awesome. Does that as a dad, like, does jujitsu come into play at all when you're being a dad?

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Definitely. Uh it's you know, just doing the sport um helps me to not be so high strung when dealing with an energetic uh five-year-old. But it uh definitely um has made me want him to see me struggle. Um when he comes to the mats and he sees, you know, dad's not gonna quit, you know, dad's out there, you know, getting after it. I think um, you know, what we referenced earlier, the sad dads club when we were talking. Um, you can you can still get out there, you can um you're not doing it for you, you're doing it for them. Um, and especially when it comes to the self-defense aspect and being able to protect your family um and yourself, that comes you know, that's of huge importance to me.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Yeah, so protecting your family, protecting yourself. So I think that probably be uh a great a good this is a great time to ask you, you know, the name of the podcast is Bear Your Shield. What does Bear Your Shield mean to you, Ryan?

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Bear my shield um definitely comes into play with that self-defense aspect. I see, you know, we've me and Gab have, you know, trialed out a whole bunch of different churches, and I, you know, I see a lot of men out there within the church community, and it's gonna sound like I'm kind of taking a shot at them, maybe I am, but um, you know, out of shape, don't, you know, don't take care of themselves, aren't showing up for their families, and are certainly incapable of, you know, um defending them if something horrible were to happen to them, you know, and I pride myself in knowing that I could, you know, if I had to, if there's a fire in our building, pick up both my wife and kid and get out of the building without an issue, go back in if I need to, you know. I think Christ asked us to take care of ourselves, and you know, he provided us with these gifts of family, kids, wives, and it's our duty to um protect them, to keep ourselves at our best for them. So uh that's where I take up the barrier shield approach.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

Yeah, I think that's great. You know, we as as husbands, uh we are to um, you know, love our wives as Christ loved the church, and that means sacrificially, and sometimes that means taking care of ourself, not having the double cheeseburger over the single one, which is ironic because we were talking about how great Culver's cheeseburgers were earlier in the day. But they sure are you know, um I think that that that goes a long way. How about you know you talked about protecting your family. How about yourself from a bear your shield perspective? What does it mean for you to bear your own shield personally?

SPEAKER_01 25:39

To keep showing up for myself constantly, um, whether that is in the physical realm or the spiritual realm or as a partner to my wife, a dad to my kid, um to my big one recently for the shield that I'm bearing is you know being present, you know, putting the phone down, not being a slave to the doom scrolling, um, especially when the five-year-old is awake and wants to play, um, and doing those things that are required of me from a fatherly point of view.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

Yeah. Perfect answer. Uh and not just because you're sitting in front of your father in law, but uh, that was a great, great answer. You know, um I think, you know, too, from a barrier shield standpoint, um we've watched uh you know, since you started dating our daughter, we've watched you grow uh spiritually. Um you know, you're sitting across from me and you have a hat on that I really like and it just says Christ is king. Uh unashamedly, you're wearing it now. Granted, you're in our home, but you you wore it here, you wore it uh on you know on your travels there, you'll be wearing it on travels back. And uh also I've noticed uh as you've grown in your faith, um and you've been exploring churches and growing spiritually, uh we've noticed that your um gym attire, or uh I'm not sure your your your gi, your t-shirts, your warm-up shirt, your practice equipment has all changed. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

Yeah, I try and walk on to those mats and uh say a little prayer, one for bodily protection. Obviously, I don't, you know, whatever he wills is gonna happen regardless. But I try and, you know, do a little prayer of self-protection and um, but then I a add another one of let this um work out this struggle be a um reflection of the body that you gave me, the capable body, you know, giving that struggle over to him and letting him use that um as a celebration of you know, kind of the the life we're allowed to live, you know, doing fun things like this. So definitely try and keep that at the forefront of my mind.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

Yeah, I think that's good, and that's gonna go a long way. You know, a lot of guys can I remember there was a uh book uh titled uh how to ruin your life by forty. And it was all about how guys, you know, guys make so many mistakes early on in their younger years and they weren't ready, they weren't mature enough or ready enough to be a father or ready to get married. They didn't understand all those uh capabilities or responsibilities. And I'll tell you uh one thing. Um, you know, I was first of all, I was grateful to be asked to to marry you guys uh out there on Lake Superior. That was really cool to be the pastor of of that day. And you know, um was grateful that you were so serious about the marriage. And I remember uh looking back and I can't remember the exact time about it, but it was right after the service you guys were walking back towards uh the rocks or something to to get ready for some pictures, and I just saw you kind of fist pump, not to your buddies that were up there with you, but kind of fist pump internally to you, like yes, you know, we did it. We're here, we made it. I made the right decision. This is me putting thoughts into your head, but uh I agree. It seemed like that was what you're saying to me. Because I feel I can read you pretty well uh sometimes. So you know, and I was really grateful to see that as Gabrielle's dad, and of course as the pastor of that day too, to be like, okay, we I knew, you know, if I had if there was any doubts, we would have talked about it beforehand, but I knew at that moment that it was like, yeah, this this put the period at the end of the sentence. So Ryan, I'm really grateful that my daughter has a protector that can take someone out. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 29:39

Yep, gotta get through me. Yep, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

Well, Ryan, thanks for thanks for being in the studio today. Listeners, if you're in the Eden Prairie, Minnesota area and like to meet Ryan and talk to him and see how he brings his faith to the Matt, you can check him out at ProFitness Training again in Eden Prairie, Minnesota. And for any of you guys, you warriors and gals out there at ProFitness Training that are listening to the Barry Shield Podcast, thanks for tuning in. Folks, check out your local gym and see how you too can learn about jujitsu to help one of the ways to protect your spouse, your family, and yourself, and protect your heart. Lord says, Seek after him with all your heart, and you will find me, the Lord promises. Until next time, Godspeed and bear your deal.