Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises
Welcome, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies & DNA Surprises podcast, where we will discuss our relationships with our mothers including how they were growing up, leading up to our discovery, during our discovery and since learning our truths.
We will have unfiltered conversations about our struggles with our mothers and dive into how we’ve uncovered who we are after her lies!
Thank you for being here, you are not alone!
I am an NPE, actually a double NPE, which means Not Parent Expected or Non Paternity Event. I found out that the man listed on my birth certificate isn’t my biological father, twice. For many of us we learn through at home DNA tests, others hear rumors of family secrets and confirm through a DNA test.
Within the community of DNA Surprises there are thousands of NPEs, Late Discovery Adoptees (LDAs) and Donor Conceived People (DCPs) learning their truths. The ongoing thing I hear is how many of us had struggles with our mothers most of our lives, while others had struggles since discovery. For a number of people learning our truths answered so many questions and for others it opened up so many wounds, unanswered questions or left them feeling so alone. After finding the large community of others who have gone through this the common struggle I hear from so many is the relationship with our mothers.
I wanted to create a space where we can share the struggles we have with our mothers, helping others to know they are not alone and supporting each other.
For some this is the first time they are sharing their stories and for others we’ve shared our stories but now are ready to discuss the relationships with our mothers more in depth.
Thank you for joining us and for supporting this community!
Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises
Marysol's NPE Story
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Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here. Today I am sharing Marysol’s story!
It is important to me that everyone who shares their story is able to share it their way, today Marysol shares her story from her writings, it was very important to her to make sure she didn’t lose track of her thoughts so this was her way of honoring her story. Once she finishes her writings we do have a very candid conversation.
Here is a trigger warning-Marysol mentions childhood sexual abuse and possible sexual assault, please proceed with caution if any of this is a trigger for you.
Marysol shares her feelings of being raw, uncomfortable in her own skin, disillusionment after a random phone call when she was 20 and how she was unable to discuss it any further with her mother until taking a 23andMe test some years later and learning she is no longer half Puerto Rican, her identify shift along with her mother’s lack of information left her reeling.
One phrase that Marysol uses is it felt like a “brain leech” and this is a great way to explain how a tiny bit of information can continue to consume us, even if it’s small amounts over years….we never forget!
As a woman who identified as a strong Puerto Rican she shares how her ethnicity shift comes up every day for her, how this has been the most overwhelming part for her on a day to day basis.
Marysol makes the comment that she doesn’t know how to define what is a lie and what is a truth anymore…..this statement is something that I believe so many of us who have had a DNA surprise can relate to.
And as you will hear, Marysol daydreams of an epic apology from her mother, I personally felt this, this grown woman wishes for that too, for myself and for all of us!
Marysol is open to connecting via email at handsoftheearth@gmail.com or on your Instagram @handsoftheearth.
Thank you again Marysol for sharing your story so eloquently with us!
Books referenced:
*Narcissistic Mothers: How to Handle a Narcissistic Parent and Recover from CPTSD
By Caroline Foster and Caroline Foster
*Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
Previous podcast Marysol has done with Lily Wood on NPE Stories:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marysols-story/id1464478802?i=1000552376224
Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay
