Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises
Welcome, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies & DNA Surprises podcast, where we will discuss our relationships with our mothers including how they were growing up, leading up to our discovery, during our discovery and since learning our truths.
We will have unfiltered conversations about our struggles with our mothers and dive into how we’ve uncovered who we are after her lies!
Thank you for being here, you are not alone!
I am an NPE, actually a double NPE, which means Not Parent Expected or Non Paternity Event. I found out that the man listed on my birth certificate isn’t my biological father, twice. For many of us we learn through at home DNA tests, others hear rumors of family secrets and confirm through a DNA test.
Within the community of DNA Surprises there are thousands of NPEs, Late Discovery Adoptees (LDAs) and Donor Conceived People (DCPs) learning their truths. The ongoing thing I hear is how many of us had struggles with our mothers most of our lives, while others had struggles since discovery. For a number of people learning our truths answered so many questions and for others it opened up so many wounds, unanswered questions or left them feeling so alone. After finding the large community of others who have gone through this the common struggle I hear from so many is the relationship with our mothers.
I wanted to create a space where we can share the struggles we have with our mothers, helping others to know they are not alone and supporting each other.
For some this is the first time they are sharing their stories and for others we’ve shared our stories but now are ready to discuss the relationships with our mothers more in depth.
Thank you for joining us and for supporting this community!
Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises
Mother's Day Reach out
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As so many of us struggle with Mother's Day I wanted to send out a quick message reminding everyone you are not alone and I hope you are taking care of yourself on this Sunday!
Stacy
Hello, I'm Stacy, the host of Mothers Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. I just wanted to pop on here today to let everyone know that I'm thinking about you. Today can be a really difficult time for so many of us who have struggles with our mothers. And no matter what that looks like, at what point we are with our moms, nothing is wrong and nothing is right. I want you to celebrate you, and I want you to celebrate today however that looks for you. I know I am. And I found something on Instagram that I wanted to share. It's from Steffi Wagner, whose Instagram is Mother Wound Project. And it's titled, You Don't Owe Your Mom These Things on Mother's Day or Any Other Day. Attend events with people who don't value you. Buy cards with words you don't believe just to keep the peace. Force your kids into discomfort so grandma can get the perfect picture. Minimize or rewrite your experiences to make your mom more comfortable. Ignore your boundaries for the sake of tradition or expectations. Accept guilt or pressure as a substitute for real connection. Carry the entire relationship by always reaching out and fixing things. And lastly, expose your kids to dynamics you're trying to break. And those bullet points really hit me that, you know, on a day that I have always struggled with the right Mother's Day card to say the things that are real and not lies. If it's a simple text to your mother, or if your mother's deceased, the peace that you are looking for, and make sure you're taking care of yourself today, whatever that looks like, and know that you are not alone. Sending everyone Mother's Day hugs on this Sunday filled with lots of love and hugs and power to you for whatever that might look like. Thank you.
