Skye's Story

Hello, I’m Stacy, the host of Mothers, Lies and DNA Surprises Podcast. Thank you for being here.  

After some last minute travel I am excited to release Skye’s story!

Imagine always having the running joke between your siblings about you being what they call the “Fed Ex Baby”? Skye shares how close she is with her raised siblings and how she found out her Dad wasn’t her biological father.

 For some of us we must immediately confront our mothers, while others sit on it for a bit to process, then confront our mothers.  And as Skye shares she was working on the communications with new found family while on her honeymoon, imagine trying to process all of this while on your honeymoon!

Skye describes a “Non-living” state of mind while she was trying to figure this all out, I felt this, I knew exactly what the feeling was.  Skye allowed herself to take the time she needed away from both her mom and dad, allowing herself to do the work needed.

Family dynamic, we all have it and we don’t know other family’s dynamic, even if we are related by DNA and it’s ok to take your time to connect with your new found family, there is no expectation for anyone.  Go at your own pace. 

And the best advice…..Be kind to yourself!!

If you would like to connect with Skye you can email her at skye.mcgoey@gmail.com

Music is "Drown in your Lies" by NoxAwake via Pixabay  

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Hello, I'm Stacey, the host of Mother's Lives and DNA Surprises podcast. Thank you for being here. After some last minute travel, I'm excited to release Sky's stories. Imagine always having the running joke between your siblings about you being what they call the FedEx baby. Sky shares how close she is with her raised siblings and how she found out her dad wasn't her biological father. For some of us, we must immediately confront our mothers, while others sit on it for a bit to process. Then confront their mothers. And as Sky shares, she was working on the communications with the newfound family while on her honeymoon. Imagine trying to process all of this while on your honeymoon. Skye describes a non-living state of mind while she was trying to figure this all out. I felt this. I knew exactly what she was feeling. Skye allowed herself to take the time she needed away from both her mom and her dad, allowing herself to do the work needed. Family dynamic. We all have it, and we don't know other families' dynamic. Even if we are related by DNA, and it's okay to take your time to connect with your newfound family. There is no expectation for anyone. Go at your own pace. And the best advice be kind to yourself. And if you would like to connect with Skye, you can email her at the email address in the show notes. Thank you again, Sky, for sharing your story. Well, hello Sky. I want to welcome Sky to share her story with us today. I'm honored for her to share it for the first time. And I'm going to turn it over to you to share, start by telling us about your DNA surprise, how you found out and what it's been like since learning your truth.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Yeah, so I guess for me, a slight little backstory to kind of just right before I found out is I guess kind of growing up, like I always looked quite different from my two siblings. And so the running joke was always kind of like the FedEx baby, like shipped in. And everyone just kind of laughed about it and no one ever like shut it down. And then kind of fast forward to last July, we were actually at Calgary Stampede with my siblings and all of our partners. And then kind of as the night goes on, I don't know even how we just started joking about it again, but just like saying how very much I didn't look like them. And I was kind of like, oh my God, I should just like get a little DNA sample, get dad's toothbrush, and just like send it in. And then all of a sudden my sister just started like sobbing. And I was like, wait, what? And then she was like, Yeah, like you might not be his. So then obviously that ended kind of the night we went home and she was kind of just like sharing her story of what she knew. And it was basically just that it was maybe eight years ago when my parents were kind of going for like a little rough spell. My dad sort of just like accidentally let it slip to her. We were also a very kind of private family and sort of shove everything under the rug and pretend everything's fine. So he kind of let it slip to her that I might not be his, but they didn't know for certain. And then basically just said she couldn't share that with me and like had to keep this. I think kind of just like he is like the world's best dad, but it was very much just like a protective thing. Like he never wanted me to feel less loved, I'm assuming. And so then, of course, she has now this like part secret too of like trying not to tell me for the last kind of eight years, which I think was extremely emotional and difficult for her, especially just because like me, my brother and sister are all quite close.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

So and then yeah, she oh yes, so there's three of you. Where are you in order? Are you the baby?

SPEAKER_02 4:17

I'm the baby, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

And this sister that he accidentally said this to is the oldest. She's the middle child.

unknown 4:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

I would think she's the oldest, though. Oh, okay. And so I can imagine as a sibling, especially being that close to you, to have to keep this secret. But yet, uh you guys had just all been joking about uh you being the FedEx baby.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Yeah, because again, it was like she's sort of keeping this secret, uh I guess for protection of my dad, for protection of me, but also like it's always just been like the ongoing running joke, so it wasn't like out of the ordinary, you know.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

So until you said I should just do one of those DNA tests, did she then feel like she owed it to you, maybe to tell you? Because Yeah. Wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

That's actually what she said. She was like, I don't want her to find out this way. Like her going and just doing this DNA and being like, oh my god, actually, wait, what? Like, especially if she knew, she was like, I can't let her find out this way. And again, it was like kind of that awkward where it was like, I could still maybe be my dad, but I mean, just like looking at us, you just kind of it all sort of makes sense now.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Yeah, of course, of course. Yeah, of course. Wow. Well, and and you touched on that, and and as many people as I've talked to, late discovery adoptees, late discovery donor conceived, NPEs. I think so many of us would rather have heard it from someone versus after doing a DNA. So I think her understanding how important that meant to hear it from her, because we all feel betrayal. And then to find out she then also knew but didn't tell you would been, I would guess it had to hurt even her knowing for eight years to a certain level, because you understand why she did what she did, but oh, I feel bad for both of you.

SPEAKER_02 6:21

Okay. All right, so continue. And so yeah, I guess like my reaction to like, I'll say trauma or sadness is usually kind of just like laughter. It's just like the oh my god. So I think that night when we all got back and she was kind of sharing everything, I was just kind of like laughing out of sort of like that like shock, but like, okay, whatever, I'm fine. And then I think probably for the next like two nights, it was just like sobbing like that, just like deep, like trying to find like photos because we're at my dad's place too, like trying to find photo albums where you're just like, wait, what? Like, I like just wanting to look at family photos and stuff again, and then kind of just like toying up with the I the thought too of like, okay, do I confront my dad? Do I like I know this is gonna be like really awkward and upsetting for him too? But then they're like, Well, I actually shouldn't really care that much about his feelings at the moment. Like, this is so it was like that was kind of like a struggle too. And then I was just like, no, like I just I need to know. So yeah, probably like three nights after I found out, I just kind of sat him down. Um, he's again, he's like the most loving, kind father, but also like not emotionally out there, and so it's hard to have these conversations with him. But yeah, I just basically sat down and I was like, okay, like I'm gonna approach a pretty awkward conversation. And I just said, I heard that you might not be my dad. And then I would say probably for 10 minutes, it was just like that look of like sort of like he was taken aback, but then also like kind of almost gaslit me a little bit. Like, just like, what do you mean? What who what? Like, kind of like just like that panic. Like, I don't think he ever thought it would come up. And then probably, yeah, about 10 minutes in, he sort of just like softened, maybe unlike because my reaction at the moment wasn't, you know, super upsetting or crazy. So he just kind of went into how, yeah, when I was born, or like I guess before, my mom had been involved with someone else, and so they weren't sure whose it was. And right but between me and my sister as well, my mom had gotten pregnant again, but then chose not to keep it because she knew for sure it was not my dad's, but then for me, she didn't know, so they just kept it and then never tested me. And so they kind of just swore by the fact of like, well, we never really got you tested, so we couldn't confirm. But I think even a couple weeks after I was born, like my dad took me back to Ontario to visit his family, and they're all just like, Oh, she looks so different than the other two. And you know, he even says, like, that was just like a little stab to the heart. Like, he just and like he knew, uh you know, so and then my mom, she would always go away in the winters to work for like in a winter like ski season type thing. And so I was probably like six months old, and he said he was changing my diaper and just had a moment of like, why the hell am I like changing another man's like baby's diaper kind of thing? But then in that same swoop, was just like, no, like this is a child, it's done nothing to me. It's you know, it's just kind of a blessing to the world. So this is my child kind of thing, and like that's how it went forever. But then just kind of like reflecting on those pieces too, it's just so interesting, like that they let us like have these like FedEx jokes and everything too as like kids and not just like shutting it down. But again, like that's just sort of how my family, I guess, kind of deals with like traumatic events for it's just sort of like the jokes, and then just push it under the rug, everything's fine.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Yeah, because who would have known there'd been DNA at home testing that you would ever find out the truth? Completely you're much younger than I am, and even then they wouldn't have you know, as I my heart goes out to your dad, like the fact that he uh knew there was a chance, yet stuck it out, and then when he realized by looking at you that you weren't his uh end up making that tough decision, which uh can't be easy, I can't imagine. But uh you know, the episode that I just released the day before we're recording in and what you're saying shows how much as young children, we don't understand any of it, but we recognize very early on when there's something different, and you're the youngest and your older sis older siblings obviously recognize it, right? And so and and don't understand it either.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

And so it just shows that as much as they want to sweep it under the rug, yeah, it kind of comes up in little bits, and I think too, like so many times, because I'm like a spitting image of my mom. Like if you like, and so you're kind of like, oh, I just have like a lot of my mom's like traits just showing through. And so it's not like you like look at a family photo and you're like, all these kids have dark hair and this kid has red hair, you know. It's just like it wasn't like that, but but now you like see or like just hear people all the time because everyone's like, Oh, you guys don't really look like each other, but before that it was like, Oh yeah, I just look like my mom. Yep, but now you're like, Oh yep, no, it's just because we're only half, you know, but it's just yeah, super interesting. But yeah, yeah, okay. I mean, I think that's super why it was like hard, and even like why I was upset to even bring it up to my dad is because I knew just based on like who he is, that it was more of like a protection thing for me. Like he never wanted me to grow up feeling less loved or like less a part of the family. So it's that really heartbreaking part of like you know he had the ultimate best intention, but it's still then just like this like kind of a quiet crack of foundation that just occurs and he like can't even explain it. And people's first reaction is still always like, Well, he's he's your dad. I'm like, I still I get that, but that's like the worst thing you can say. And I don't even know why. I can't even say why it feels bad to hear people say that, but it's just like there's still just like that foundational truth that like these people are supposed to be, I don't know, like you know, like that your your most trusting foundation, and that's just been like severed on you.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Well, and I think it sounds like you adored your dad. You guys had a great relationship. So I think part of that that that crack is realizing that you aren't biologically related to him. Um and that loss of, I don't know for you if it was the loss of that half of your siblings. You they're still your siblings, but now that we're not full siblings, we're half siblings. And so you have that grief, but as you said, that betrayal by two of the people you should have been able to trust the most in this world, kept a secret, the biggest secret from you. The biggest, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

And then just two, because like very difficult relationship with them, sort of forever. And so that like always that like weird mental thing where you're like, okay, well, I'm like half my dad. So I'm like half this kind, gentle being. And now you're like, oh my god, I don't even know what I'm half of now.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

Like I just like fish out of water, like you don't know. Yeah, that's intense. So so speaking of, what was your relationship like with your mother before your discovery? You talked about how great your dad was. How was your your relationship with her?

SPEAKER_02 14:01

My mom is, I I know it's kind of a catchphrase word right now, but I feel like through and through, when you look at everything, is just like a narcissist on like how she raised us, how just like everything. And so it's that hard thing, like she's always gone to therapy and stuff and always tried to change and be better. But I think it's it's just again, sometimes you're always like, I wonder what you're actually spinning to your therapist, right? Right. Because she always sort of plays that like victim card. And so, yeah, I guess like probably the last couple years going into that, it was like a very rocky relationship where I'd only kind of engage with her if it was like family events and stuff. But again, everyone's kind of cordial, everyone just wants to kind of keep my dad happy to a point, too. And he's like big family man, so it's always just like, you know, just let it go, it doesn't matter. You know, you know your mom's hard, but just let it go, it's not her fault, sort of thing. So that's kind of a hard dynamic, too, because you're just like, oh dad, like just stand up for us, kind of thing. But so that kind of made it challenging. But then yeah, because my my dad and my mom were going on a birthday trip for my aunt in France, like three months after I found out. And I didn't want to bring it up with my mom that I kind of knew or like sit her down with this, even though I wanted like so many answers too, because I just didn't want her to respond weird on this trip with my family's or my dad's family, kind of during like this happy birthday celebration. So I actually waited three months and I just like didn't talk to her. I just kind of said, like, I need space from you. There's something that's come up, and I'll talk to you about it when I'm ready. And then when she when they came back from that, I just said, okay, like let's sit down. And honestly, it was probably a good time, like a three months for me just to like process a lot of rage and anchor so that I could actually kind of have I would say a calm conversation with her about it instead of just sort of erupting into flames. But yeah, then it was almost like when I sat her down, I basically just said, So I found out like I'm not dad's daughter, and then it kind of just like rolled off her tongue as if she was like always kind of waiting for it on who my biological father was. But then kind of in this whole conversation, too, was like, Well, it's none of your business, and then see, like, so there's like those hard pieces, and then like the well, we didn't actually lie to you because we never actually got you tested, just kind of that like again, no ownership. So it's like that could just be frustrating. So that's why I was glad I had three months to kind of get into some therapy, start trying to like practice even how to like have this conversation with her before even diving in because it's just a very emotional time, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

Yeah, so okay. So one, I applaud you for being able to wait three months to have that conversation. That that that's not easy. And Mike, then my next question is did you do a DNA, an actual spit-in-the-tube DNA test in the meantime? I did, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

At first, kind of like when I had that conversation with my dad, I was like, no, you're like, you're my dad, I don't care. But also I work in healthcare, and when I have clients in one of the first questions they always ask them is like, what's your family history?

SPEAKER_03 17:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Um, and so I was like, actually, like, I know, like I feel like I need to know, like, especially like me and my husband want to start having kids. So I was like, I just I need to know. And so yeah, we did it. And basically right before my 31st birthday, like four days before, I got the results back, and it was yeah, not a match, which kind of anticipating anyway. And I think, like, weirdly for my dad, even though he kind of basically he always knew really, but I think that was still a bit of like heartbreaker for him, right? And then yeah, that was kind of good to know. And then that's obviously was like good information for me to have to so when I did approach my mom too, it's kind of like, here's all my questions, right? Yeah, she couldn't have to do that. I need all these answered. Yeah, yeah, completely.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Wow, okay. So did you have a close match on your DNA results to get the answer to the who, or did your mom have to fill that in for you at that time?

SPEAKER_02 18:17

She felt the so the DNA I did, it was I think it was literally just like a DNA kit with like two swabs. So I didn't, it wasn't even like ancestry.com or anything where you're like uploading it to the server, but I recently just did that too, just to kind of see. And even though I kind of have some like family knowledge now, but yeah. So anyway, when I sat down with my mom and got his name, then my sister and her partner just kind of started, they're like little FBI agents, so they just kind of started researching who this person was. And for the longest time, like we couldn't find him anywhere, but then we knew that he had like worked as a teacher at a certain school, and so we reached out to basically like the head of that school, but it's like recently closed, and just kind of saying, like, hey, just trying to get in touch with this person, sort of a friend of my mom's, and then she said that he had died, I guess almost 20 years ago, like from a heart attack on a trek in Peru. And that was kind of like a heart attack, but it was also just super weird timing because it was like two days before me and my husband were going on our honeymoon and we were going to like South America as well. So it was just kind of like those things where you're like, this is kind of weird in a lot. Oh yeah, a lot. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Okay. So for someone like myself whose biological father was deceased when I found out as well. How did that make you feel knowing that he had passed away so many years ago, but had passed away nonetheless?

SPEAKER_02 19:46

Kind of just almost just like a weird like flat line. You're kind of like, oh, like there's sort of like all this build-up, and you're like getting like these clues, kind of, and you're like, okay, okay. And then it's just like always passed away, and you're like, oh, yeah, okay. And then it kind of gets a little bit funnier too. So then my sister found like some of his like nieces and like sister and stuff, and they're still in like the Calgary area, so super close to us. And so I'm like down on my honeymoon at the time, but it's also just like I also feel bad for my husband and stuff. Cause when you kind of find this out, you're just in this like numb living, and so you're not really having fun, you're not like hating life, but it's just this like you feel quite alone sort of thing. And so I was like very hyper-focused on all of this, and I still feel so bad for my husband. But yeah, so then she found, yeah, like some of my cousins and stuff. So I just like I messaged one of them and I was like, hey, absolutely feel free not to respond if this is just like too much, but kind of gave a little backstory, and then she messaged me basically saying, like, hey, I know family stuff could be weird, so like maybe my uncle passed away like at this time, but like I'd be happy to give you a call and we can kind of just chat. So while I was down in South America, I we had a conversation, and she said the only reason she replied to my message was because she recognized my last name. And so she had actually worked for my dad, like not my biological dad, but my dad, doing like mentoring like for like landscape design for like 10 years. And like her husband works super closely with my dad because he's like a home builder, and so then my dad will do all like the landscaping projects and stuff for his like home builds, and it was just like that loop that you're just like this is too close to home, yeah. Because then again, like my dad's such a private man, and so I then feel like very like sad and awkward for him that this is coming really full circle. And she was kind of like, Does your dad know? Like, is this something I should approach? Or so then I obviously had to have a conversation with my dad. I'm like, hey, like you know, this is her, and he was like, Oh, oh god, like, and so I And my like my heart is breaking for my dad too. But then again, I'm kind of just like these are the choices that you guys made. And this is the truth I get to kind of like live out and find and heal the way I need to. So yeah, then they kind of connected and I guess had kind of a a good laugh of just like family's family. Cause then I guess too, I have two half siblings on like my biological father's side, but they had like a falling out with like my cousins and my bio cousins and my bio aunt and stuff. So she kind of said, like, if you want me to go down this route, I can reach out to them. I don't know how they'll respond because I don't think they had a great relationship with their father in the end. So I at that point too, I was just like on this emotional thing. I was like, I think I'm okay. I kind of know enough. It was more of just like this medical piece that I really wanted to know anyway, and have a little bit more information. Because then I guess like his both of his parents too passed away of heart attack. So I was like, good to know. It's a bit of a heart thing happening.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

All of that while you were on your honeymoon. All of that while I was on my honeymoon. So my poor husband.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Wow. Yes. Okay. There's so many thoughts. So as as I know, as you explained it, like you have you become hyper-focused for a long time. And you're still just coming up on a year. So you're still in the infancy, as I've heard referred to. And you still had the uh compassion for your dad to think about how uh how close this connection was that this uh this newfound cousin uh knew your dad very well because uh through through business that you uh had so much compassion to to let him know so nothing uh was a surprise or shocking or hurtful to him while simultaneously, as you said, uh realizing they made these decisions, not you, and you you get to play by your own rules, really. So really we're working to keep everybody comfortable. And that's hard to do. That's hard to sustain, too.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

It's very hard to do. And I think, yeah, for like a long time, because again, my dad's very private, even like from his own family, like they're super close in like they love spending time together and stuff. But I think the like deep things that happen in life are sort of kept more surface level, and so I think for him it was kind of like, well, no one else really needs to know. And then, but then it's and then at the same time, he'd be like, But you like heal and share your story how you need to, but it can kind of be a private matter, so you're just like, Oh, because I also still like want to respect him in that sense, but I think for me, like talking to my siblings, they're like, You just do what you need to do, like, and so I think it was kind of like okay, sorry dad, like this is this is like my process on things, yeah. And I think he just wants me to be okay. So, as much as some of this is like obviously very uncomfortable for him, he's like, Yeah, do what you need to do.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

I love that. I love that for you. I love that that there is no guidebook on how to move from step A to step B and how to navigate these relationships and that relationship. So the fact that he is such a private person, but yet gives you permission to not that you needed it, but gives you permission to deal with it the way you need to deal it and tell your story the way you want to tell your story. And I I I applaud that and I wish everybody had that. But I still cannot believe you're going through this all while you're on your honeymoon and really married. And and I, you know, the the conversations I've had with previous guests who are married, we talk about often how this affects our relationships. And in our case, we were talking about marriages. And you know, some of us have amazing supportive partners who are there with us side by side, understand all of it. And then some marriages haven't made it. But I often say, for me, I'm a different person than I was when my husband married me 20 years ago. And so for you, you are like just married, just finding this out, and he's along for the ride. And it's a true test very, very early on in your marriage, as to and it's tough too, because it's like they obviously, I mean, a lot of your like loved ones in general are kind of like, uh, how do I like your dad loves you, you know?

SPEAKER_02 27:16

And you're like, yeah, yeah, congratulator. And even like going to therapy, I think it's you can't even again really describe it to people how you feel. Because it's not, it's not like a depression or anything I ever felt, but it's again that like loss of identity, and you just sort of go like and it's like what's sort of happening, and so I think we are like always on the move too, because my partner plays like professional sport, and so there's kind of like some unstable in just like we don't have like a grounding place, and so that was all sort of happening, and we're just like jumping to like country to here to there, and like always sort of around people, so you're just kind of like, I'm okay, I'm okay, what are we doing? And then I think he then like moved to New Zealand for a bit for his sport, and then I just had like two months on my own. At first, I was like, Oh my god, I can't be alone, like he likes, but then it was like the best thing ever, because it was just like I could actually allow, like, because I'm also not like a very outright emotional person, so then I could just kind of be on my own and like let the emotions flow through, and I think that's when I really started diving in too as well to like this podcast and another one, and just it was like the listening to stories that you're like, these people get it, and then when you hear, you know, like they're sort of like, and then I was numb, I was like, get that, that feeling that she gets me, you know? Yeah, because then even talking to like a therapist, I'm like, you're helpful in some ways, but like it's also like you just still again, it's something you can't really understand unless you have it. So I think then having those those two months sort of on my own in a place was super good, like to have a bit more routine, and then just being able to like process at the speed I needed to, and that was like super beneficial for me.

SPEAKER_01 28:57

Yeah, you could focus on you and not feel guilty because he was away and doing what he needed to do. Yeah, I love that. So we talked about what your relationship was like leading up to. You talked about your conversation with your mother when you confronted her. Yeah. What was it like? And now you're only in it a year now. What is your relationship like? Okay, what was your relationship like during, like as you were trying to learn and meet and discover these new, and since then? So you you talk a lot about how warm and comforting your dad was, but how was your mom?

SPEAKER_02 29:48

I mean, it's just it's just been a tough dynamic, I think, ever since we were kids, like that relationship. It's kind of like the I'll say almost hard love bombing and then just like blow-up catastrophe. And definitely sort of once I like left home when we'd have big issues, like then I just wouldn't speak to her for like months because I'm like, I just like can't anymore. But then out of the three of us, I still probably have or had, I'll say I had the closest relationship, even though we were probably the most like explosive together, and so I think I'd be like, Okay, no, I need to like separate, but then I just sort of like miss that mother figure and also kind of just like feel kind of I guess bad for her too. Just because she's always kind of again struggled with sort of like mental health stuff, and like I think she does want to be better, but it's just sometimes it's just they can't change in a sense, and so yeah, I'd probably say like leading up to it, we weren't really taught like talking a whole lot outside of say like family events, but it was very like cordial and stuff at that. And then yeah, obviously after I found out I didn't speak to her for three months until we had that discussion, and then I was kind of away on the honeymoon and stuff, and then we all went on like a big Christmas family trip to sort of see how that would go, and it was again, it was okay, but our family's just like so good at like sort of deflecting, putting things under the rug. But I was again just kind of like that motion emotionally sort of not unstable, but that like numb, kind of just like at a distance from people. And then when I actually started processing stuff, whenever I would be around her, I was just like not, I was unkind, I would say. Like I just and not even like purposely, but it's just like you know, your walls go up and you just like feel like you're in that like fight or flight response around her. And so I just kind of said, What was maybe this in January, at the end of January, I was like, I just need like space. This is nothing against you, but I'm just like emotionally unwell, and I need to kind of like process that without you. And I actually took two months for my dad as well, because I was like, I just need a breather. And then after that two-month period, like my nervous system kind of started to come down a little bit, and I was like, okay, you know, like I want to kind of start to mend things with my not even mend things with my dad, but just really start to kind of I guess reestablish that relationship and work on kind of like as I said, that little severance thing that just felt like the relationship shifted, like I want to build that through again. But I think with my mom, I just kind of said, you know, like after these past couple months, like it's just been kind of good for me not having our relationship in my life. And I think I just need to kind of carry forward with that. And then her sort of response is like, yeah, you take some time, and then you know, well, like it's I don't think she sees it as like a long-term thing yet. So she'll kind of like reach out here and there, and it's sort of like, I don't know if you like registered the conversation we had, but I'm this is we're distancing. So I think I really need to take that. And again, it's hard because it's kind of like your morning, this like relationship that I've always wanted. Like, I see my friends' relationships with their moms, and I'm like, I want that, but just it's not something I've ever really had or like can have. So I think it's just again at this time, anyway, from for me and processing and going through everything, just sort of safer and healthier that there's a lot of space there.

SPEAKER_01 33:17

Well, and out of curiosity, so your your mom and your raised dad were married this whole time.

SPEAKER_02 33:29

They are, and I would say, like, it's been a very non-conventional marriage in like maybe as as long young as I can remember, like they never really seemed like they were together. And then from probably like 10 years old, they would like even like sleep in different bedrooms, like on different floors, and we still did everything together. Like, we'd all go back to my dad's families for Christmas or like family trips, like everything. Because my dad, again, like never wanted anything to like split because he didn't want like his kids to have a fractured family. Like, he's just like a big family man. It was kind of just you know, even when we had like this the sort of my parents had a little well, not not blow-up, but like an emotional thing, like eight years ago at the time that my dad kind of let us up to my sister. Like, I remember kind of saying to him, I'm like, Why are you still like with this woman? kind of thing, like just detach yourself from her. And he's like, Well, I can never hate your mom. Like, she brought me the three greatest gifts in life, kind of like referring to us. So it just it just speaks to who he is and how he wants everything to be. But I think this is kind of a hard process for him to just sort of having everything he's kind of I say fought so hard for, like just in the family dynamic to have it kind of crumbling away now. But he's really kind of understood now that I need space for my mom, and I can't just keep kind of pushing it forward to kind of not please him, but just like I guess yeah, kind of almost please him to like keep this family dynamic what thinks it should be.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Yeah, yeah. Well, and I think it seems like that's what you've done for a long time and him, is is we compartmentalize, we uh want to look like we're this big happy family for all of our family. And like as you describe your home life at points, they slept separately. There was, but he was he was very committed, it sounded like, to uh uh keep his family together. That was the most important to him. And I'm sure having now it all come out that uh he uh chose to stay with his wife, uh knowing that she had been unfaithful at least twice that that you know of. Because he thought he was doing the right thing, but uh at what cost to your uh the family. And your your two older siblings, it sounds like the three of you are really close and have been and still are, correct?

SPEAKER_02 36:06

I would say like when we were kids, like young, young kids, we were all like obviously played and had fun. And then when we kind of got into our teenage years, me and my brother were still like close, but more we were a bit more of like the trouble kids, and my sister kind of separated. I would say me and my sister didn't like each other for like probably our later teen years, and then kind of coming into like once I graduated high school and stuff, then it kind of flipped again, and yeah, now all of us are just like absolute best friends, so that's super nice to have.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

Very that's a great support system to have. Um, because you know it's easy, it's hard for us to describe to outsiders outside of our family, our relationships, the dynamics, all of that, unless they've been there. And so for you to have these siblings who who get it, like unlike anybody else, they get the they maybe don't understand your feelings about the whole surprise, DNA surprise part of it, but they get the dynamics, the relationships, all of that.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I remember too when I told my brother, he was just like, Oh my god, like mom, like what else? Like, why? Like it's just that, whereas like then, like some of our cousins who are super close to us, they're like quite a bit older than us, so it's more of like they also have a really good real friendship with my mom, too. So when they found out it's kind of like you know, like water under the bridge, one of their sisters is adopted, like you're like, but it's not water under the bridge, and it's also like you have a different relationship with my mom because you didn't grow up in that, and you don't, it's just like all the constant small things that create that bigger kind of repellent almost.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:50

So it's yeah, it's really hard to explain to anyone else what you're kind of going through.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

Yeah, yeah. And and as you were saying that, it it made me think that you I don't know that I've ever heard somebody, an adult child, find out something like this and then immediately cut off a parent. It it's usually a lifetime of shit. And this is the straw that broke the camel's back, kind of a thing. So it's it's it's never just one incident that causes a separation or a no contact or limited contact or whatever it might be. It's usually the final straw for most of us. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

And I think that's what my dad still struggles with. He kind of keeps asking, he's like, but was this like the the root cause of this like fracture? And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. This is like literally, even if it's the cherry on top, like it's there was so much other stuff that just like built to this. So I think he's still like I think his honestly biggest regret is that he accidentally let it slip to my sister because if it was up to him, I think it would still all just be sure a secret. So yeah, it's just super it's kind of and I feel like too, like I've listened to like other podcast stories, and like you know, people have great relationships with their with their mom. And I'm like, I can relate to you on some things, but I'm like, I can't out of see like I need some other people that have bad relationships, you know.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

Yeah, unfortunately. Well, and I think you you said that he would rather have not accidentally let it slip, which he probably beats himself up over, sounds like, but you would have found out because you were talking about doing a DNA, and had your sister not known, let's say she never knew, never said anything, you would have done a DNA test, and eventually you would have found out the truth, which would cause even more pain because you found out yeah, from a DNA website versus that.

SPEAKER_02 40:01

So and I think that was kind of like the little aftermath, too, maybe of like a month, where it was like, not that he was blaming my sister, but kind of like why, you know, why did you say anything? And she was like, This can of worms was blown open, whether I said something or not, like you know, like Sky was like, I'm doing like I'm I'm getting a DNA test, kind of thing. So she was like, it was already in the works, and I was not letting her find out that way.

SPEAKER_01 40:25

So yeah, good, good for her for for standing up for that that she didn't do anything wrong. She shouldn't have been asked to keep that secret in the first place, as we know. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:37

Any my next kind of cool too. No, go ahead. I was gonna say, because like through it, like in kind of chatting with my biological cousin too, like she just sent over some pictures of like my biodad. And I don't know what it is, but it's kind of like very cool as well. Like, I'm like, oh my god, that's where I got my nose from, you know, like just like to have that sort of like like my sister even said, she's like, you always kept this one photo of mom where you're like, it's a spitting image of you as a kid, too. And I think it's because you're like, I do look like someone in this family, because it's again always kind of that FedEx piece, and so then now kind of having like that biological photo of or my the photo of my biological dad, too. It's like, okay, yeah, yeah. Like, and I don't know why it just means a lot in some strange way, but it it does, and it's just really even though he's passed and I'll never like have that, it's just very cool to have that photo, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:30

And I think so often it's talked about within our community is that genetic mirroring, and you know, I can personally very similar to you. I grew up and my mom made sure to tell everybody to the fact that I believed it, that I look just like her. And and I do, I have a lot of similarities to my mom. But when I saw my first picture of my dad, there you can't explain it. Like again, I'll never know him. But when you see somebody, and for for me, I see a lot of similarities. But my uh my son is a spinning image of my dad. And it's uh it's so powerful and and it means so much to me. And so I get it. I get what you ironically, you've saved that picture, and now you've got the other half of you also just a picture that makes you feel like you belong. You belong, you know, and and you you are who you are because of those two people. And thankfully, you know, they had whatever type of relationship they had to to make you. And I think there's that struggle too to be grateful that they did what they did. But yeah, so no, I I totally relate to that. That uh that seeing yourself makes such a difference, such a difference. And you you talked about your paternal new cousin was going to reach out to your half siblings if you wanted that hurt them too, your your cousin. Did you ultimately get to the point that you made contact with these new half siblings?

SPEAKER_02 43:34

No, I have not. Okay, no, no. I think because I was also gonna meet with like my biological cousin and her mom. So, like my aunt, I guess. This was kind of like the plan when I was like on my honeymoon. And then I think when I got home, it was just like, I don't know, you're like in this investigative mode, and then it kind of happens, and then you just have all these emotions, and you're like, I actually I'm not ready for this yet. Like You know, it's almost like I actually need to back this up for myself and kind of get to a place where I'm like now I'm I don't even really know if I want to. Cause again, it was I feel like too with like him passing away, it kind of sort of closes that one intriguing door. And like my family who I've grown up with, like this is my family. And it was a big piece of just kind of wanting some kind of medical information too. And I feel like that's kind of been checked a little bit. They didn't have like too much information on it, apart from obviously like the hardtack piece, but just even having that. So yeah, I'm kind of like in that, like, I'm good. I still obviously need, I mean, it's still very fresh, but I still need some time, and maybe in the next little bit, I'll reach out to her again and say, hey, if you guys want to meet for coffee or something, but I'm not sure yet. And yeah, I I also don't want to put them in a weird family position where she's like trying to bridge this gap between a fallout with her cousins, which are like my biological half siblings, when I don't know, I don't even know if I want to or care too much.

SPEAKER_01 45:06

So yeah. Yeah. Because you've done a DNA test. Have you done like Ancestry or 23 and me?

SPEAKER_02 45:13

I did Ancestry, and I've it's only been maybe like two weeks that I've had it, but I haven't really had any like matches and stuff. Like it's kind of like you might be like two percent related, and I'm like, oh okay, that's nothing really juicy.

unknown 45:27

Right.

SPEAKER_01 45:28

Well, and the reason I ask is because and I completely respect anyone's decision to take it at whatever pace you want, but having your DNA out there, and and because it is so fresh for you for two weeks, and if there's not a close match, there might come a day where someone on your biological father's side test, either a half sibling, nieces, nephews, whatever it might be, that would match up and would answer that question for you and and give you that choice. Out of curiosity, do you know if they're older, younger, where they fall age-wise? They're a bit older than me.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

I'd probably say like almost 10 years-ish. Like I know one of them has two kids who are kind of like young teens. Oh, and so I feel like I'm kind of at that stage where like if someone reached out to me and were like, yeah, like I want to meet you, I'd be like, sweet, but I don't think I need to kind of push on how I'm feeling right now.

SPEAKER_01 46:30

So yeah, sure. Well, I I think that it'll happen when it was meant to happen. Do you know, was he married, especially to their mother at the time of your conception?

SPEAKER_02 46:43

They so my biological aunt, I guess, blames the heart attack that he had on his like stressful divorce. So I know the divorce happened within the time of when I was born, like in like it was kind of around I think like 1995. So I don't know if they and I was born in 1994, so I don't know if they had already kind of separated and then like didn't legally get divorced till that time, or if there was was stuff. And so I think from what my biological cousin said, her like my half siblings are kind of more on like I guess the mom's side of the divorce style. And so I think that's just a big piece where maybe there's like a falling out as well, because like yeah, they kind of just went with the mom, and obviously, like my bio cousins are on the dad side, so yeah, it makes sense, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:34

Again, more dynamic that nobody can understand unless you're in it, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:39

That's kind of I'm like, I think maybe I have enough family dynamic things to work through without adding adding in some more.

SPEAKER_01 47:46

Yeah, but yeah, and like you said, if if it pops up and they're interested, then you've got it out there for them, then they can message you through those resources. And if not, you know, and other people, the curiosity is so great that they have to reach out. But I think like you said, you're you're you're processing a lot currently, and it's okay to not overwhelm yourself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

I I think too, because obviously, like in listening to so many of these like stories on on the MPE podcast and stuff, like I find a lot of people kind of always really like needed or like didn't have like a father, a good father relationship or something, or like even like a stepdad, or so or there's a lot of kind of strange family dynamics with that. And so I feel like for me, it's like I had I never like you know, I wish I had a different dad. Like my dad was just the best. And so in his family and everything, my mom's family. I'm like, it's like a good family unit. It was never that longing for maybe, maybe there's like another amazing family out there that I belong to. And so it I think maybe that kind of curves some of like my desire to really like chase down like another family because I'm like, no, this is I have what I need, and that just could be another, again, more baggage to take on.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

But yeah, and if you're not mentally in a place where you're able or willing to do it, I absolutely it's it's choosing to limit your exposure to the unknown. Like you don't know, is it gonna be like you said, is it a positive thing or would it be more pain and and the endless possibilities and none of us can predict how those will go. And yeah, just yeah, how you'll be received, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:44

I think that's even when I reached out to my biological cousin, it was kind of like that leading, like the protective thing of like, it's okay if you don't respond, like although you're like, please respond, but you're just like almost mentally prepping yourself that you're like, Yes, this sounds crazy. And I totally get if you want nothing to do with me, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:02

But I think for you being able to get some of those answers from that cousin, it probably really helped move you along versus being obsessed with needing to reach out to those half siblings or you know, and and again, you don't know going into this what really happened between your new biological aunt and her brother's family. And so you don't want to come into that, but her being able to tell you what he passed how he passed away, and that he's got two children, and you know, maybe where they live and all of that. That that that really gave you some of that information, so you can sit with that for as long as you you want to. Yeah, for sure. I know you mentioned briefly some therapy, but what have you done to make sure you're taking care of yourself through all of this?

SPEAKER_02 51:05

I think well, like so. Yeah, now where I was kind of traveling around a lot and now I'm kind of permanently in one spot, kind of I guess establishing a home base for myself. And I think it was kind of just getting back into like the routine. So whether it just be like going to the gym, being, you know, like walking my dog in the woods, mountain biking, like things that I like truly enjoy. Because I would say, yeah, just being on the road all the time, it was just like too flighty that it was just like my nervous system was like, ah, and then even like, yeah, when I first kind of found it too, like I feel like things I love so much, like mountain biking, all that stuff. Like, I just kind of stopped loving it. Like it was like, I'm still gonna do it because I know I enjoy it, but you're kind of out there and you're like, what to do, like whatever. But it was kind of like just keep doing it, just keep doing it, because it will just over time help. And so then I would say too, like in this, yeah, past little bit, like doing therapy, but I have found a lot more, even though it's just over like podcasts, but like support through hearing people's stories. And you know, as you kind of mentioned when we were first chatting before we started the podcast, like sometimes if someone starts having an emotional, you know, like if they start crying on the podcast, then you might kind of cry with them or something. And so you're listening to these podcasts, and someone like says something or starts crying, and then you'll just like let it go because they're like, Yes, you know, and so I think that's just been like super healing for me because when other people are around, I'm like, oh no, it's good, yeah, we're good. And I'm not really emotional about it, but then again, you're when you just get to listen to people who are going through it too, you're like, Yeah, I can the walls just come down, and then the emotions, you just go through all the emotions, and you're like, okay, let's just feel it all.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

Yeah. Well, and and as we talked about too, is that as much as our family and friends, people who are important to us, want to be there to support us, they don't, they can't understand the feelings that we're going through. And you can't explain it. And I often say, I'm really glad they don't understand it because it means that they're not going through it. And I'm happy for them for not having to go through this. And having support is important, as we've talked about, is our our partners are amazing supporters, but being with others that know, you don't have to explain anything. And you can relate to, and and Lily Woods, who who does the NPE stories podcast, she is coined the frame that you know, the bobbing head community, we're all nodding along. Like we just you can you get it. And and I think that there's so much power to that that we know that we are not alone, that there's other people. All of our stories have tiny little differences, and our family backgrounds are all very different, but it's not us. Like we we we weren't bad children, like it was it's just yeah, there's such a sadly, such a huge community of people like us who who get it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:15

And it's interesting too because my dad asked, he was like, Well, how should we have done it? Like, how you know what to do? And I was like, I mean, that is a really great and hard question. I I don't know, but I also just kind of feel because my mom sister like adopted two three kids, you know, and so I know it's like different, like you know, you're kind of getting adopted, but there's like sort of that just normalizing and and discussions around it. So I'm like, maybe that's it. Like you just say, like, yes, you have a different dad, but just like making it normal instead of like growing up being like, oh, like joking about the FedEx, and then like because finding out when you're just older too is just kind of strange.

SPEAKER_01 55:00

Yeah, and and that's a great, a great question. I am part of a another support group that has nothing to do with DNA surprises, it's it's a toxic mother group. And the question was asked her, she's with a partner who's not her baby's father. And it it became part of this conversation. And and I we don't want to tell her her her biological father is a really bad man, and none of us know, obviously. And she's like, I don't, we don't want to tell her this infant, and it was an infant. And I met I put a comment on that, and I said, I don't know what the right answer. I don't know the story of your child's biological father. But the best advice I can tell you is age appropriate and never lie. And so exactly what you said, obviously, uh until you can understand it, they shouldn't have said, oh, by the way, I'm not your dad, that type of thing. But the minute you started questioning why you don't look like your siblings, they could have age appropriately said, well, you know, whatever it might be. And and, you know, as you know, within our community, we have a lot of late discovery adoptees, late discovery donor-conceived people. And the trauma of not knowing it until you know it, like as an adult through DNA test or whatever it might be, changes everything. I my my interview with Lori, who's a donor-conceived, late discovery donor-conceived, she has half siblings who some of them knew since day one and some learned as an adult. And she said, you can absolutely see the difference in how they handle everything is if you've known since the beginning. That that's just always been your story. But when we're not given that choice to know our truths, I think that's where it is. And I applaud your your dad for asking you that. And how interesting that your dad asked that and not your mom.

SPEAKER_02 57:04

Oh, yeah. My no, my mom, you know, she's obviously done great things too. Like at this, you know, life is like up and down, but she always kind of plays the like victim card a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 57:18

So even it sounds like she's your your dad is trying to help, like he's trying to understand, he's trying to be there for you, and she just avoids it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:31

Yeah. But and then, you know, maybe too, it's like I don't really want comfort from her over anything. Because even like some things that like when we're having our conversation, it's just like she'll sort of keep lying, but then my dad's told me the the kind of truth on it, and so I'll sort of call her out on that. And she goes, Oh, oh well, okay. Like, so you're like, you know, we're kind of bursting open the the most deep core, yeah, trust core, like peace, like just the secrets out, so just why keep some things back? Like just say it all. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 58:07

Well, yeah, you would think she'd realize how important that truth is to keep that relationship with you, her daughter, that she'd be more I don't want to say vulnerable, but more honest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:29

Because again, yeah, I think it's like finding out later, because I did have such a great relationship with my dad. And and still, like, although I was a roller coaster at times had really good relationship with my mom, but then when this comes out, it it just like unwinds so much of that because it's not like they lied about that even having an affair or whatever. It's like your foundation of friendship and connection with this person is just built on this like ultimate deceit, in a sense. So it's it's weird kind of unwinding that.

SPEAKER_01 59:02

Well, and it's it's a great way to put it is unwind because you you can't take any of it away and you can't rebuild, but you're trying. Yeah, it's a it's a great way to say I wrote that down because I like that because it is. It's it when well with any relationship, it you're built on trust and honesty. And when you find out that that's not there, everything changes. But then for her to continue to have these, I don't know, lies, half-truths, withholding information, it's she's not helping herself whatsoever with building that relationship.

SPEAKER_02 59:48

Yeah. Yeah. Like just the like, you know, we didn't actually lie to you because we didn't know, we didn't test you. I'm like, if that's gonna be your step round of just not taking accountability, then like we're not gonna get very far. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:02

Because your dad said he realized very early on. So Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's tough. That's tough. What are you doing differently for your family or other relationships that you wish you had from your mother?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:31

That's a tricky question.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:32

I mean, I say I I think I'm a lot more close, like again, really close with my siblings in like now we there's like not not that there's any secrets, but sometimes you just don't call up, you know, my my brother right away to like share something that you're like, maybe this is more of just like a girl thing. Like, I'll call my sister instead. But I find now it's just like my brother gets to hear everything to it. Like, not that again it was ever like a secret, but it's just like, oh, you know, maybe my sister's unavailable, so like I'm gonna like load it onto you. Or so I think the three of us all find a lot of support in each other for kind of that like maybe lack of mother relationship, and even in each other's like partners too. Like, we're all super close, which is really, really fun. So I know that's not always super common. And I think just yeah, being really open with like my girlfriends too, because um, I don't think one person can really supply you every emotional need that you have, and so I think kind of spreading the load or but again, just being open about like where you're at. Like, I never really wanted to keep it a secret just because again, you're in this like sort of weird state, and people are kind of like, What's wrong with you? You know, so instead of just being like, I'm fine, it's just like this is what happened. I'm like not fine, but I'm but I'm fine, like you know, we don't have to like just spend three hours going into it, but just so you know where I'm at, you know. And I think I find a lot of comfort in just kind of being super open and not keeping really anything from anyone.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:05

Well, and I love that because you're you're getting what you need from others without trying to burden others, it sounds like. And and I think what you said about being extremely open and honest, I think it makes us for me anyway, and and it sounds like for you, I really had to step back and analyze every relationship in my life after finding out this core person in my life betrayed me. And so who else is? Who else is betraying me? Who else is lying to me? Who else isn't being honest? And I really did. I I and I hear it a lot where and and my husband just brought it up recently too. Like my circle got much smaller because I realized I'm gonna spend my energy with the people who I can trust completely, and I can trust with my emotions, and I'm way more open with them. I share more than I ever used to. And I think that sounds exactly what you're doing, is you're yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:14

I mean, I think I'm pretty lucky too, because like just growing up in a smaller town, like so many of my best friends are people who I've known since I was either like five, or even like meeting them at like 15 or something. So they've also just seen a lot of dynamics, and like, so it's not like you're just you have some friends where you they don't know anything about your parents or like how that situation has been. So it's been kind of nice to have so many people in my corner that that just get the strange dynamic, like that that my family is, and to have that support through it. But yeah, no, it's there's you know, great things and tough things that have all come out of it.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:53

So yeah, yeah, I agree. And and you come out stronger, I think.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:59

Yeah, and it sounds like you I think, yeah, like how cool to be open, like even like you know, say this podcast and hearing people and hearing people be open, and then you know, maybe it just helps like one other person. So, like even in within my friend community or something, they're like, Oh, I know like Sky went through something kind of strange. Like, I can maybe confide in her because she might get it, you know. So it's being open kind of helps one other person, like let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:25

I I agree that hence why I started the podcast. Just one person knowing they're not alone is makes it all worth it. Yeah. Yeah. Especially early on. Definitely. Yeah. Is there anything else you would like to share or want others to know?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:47

I don't think so. I mean, it's always hard as you kind of think before you just gotta start talking, and you're like, oh, what have I actually even said? But yeah, I think just at the ultimate, it's just be kind to yourself through it all and and whatever emotion or whatever comes up, then just kind of roll with it. But maybe that was also kind of the piece of being open with people is that when you're kind of maybe having something or like acting a way that's not necessarily like you, or you're a bit more, I'll say spicy to something, like people can kind of just meet you a little bit better through that openness. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:26

I love that. Yeah, that's true. Which I think is so important for all of us who we've had such a secret that there's been a lack of openness. So now here you are being extremely open so people can try and understand if you're spicy one day or you're quiet or you're shut down or whatever one day, what what could be triggering, yeah. Going on, yeah, exactly. I like that is being very open and which makes you vulnerable, like you being open about it is vulnerable, which I like to think causes other people to be vulnerable because it's a safe space, they feel that it's safe, versus having those guards up and being protective and harsh, maybe.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:12

Yes, yeah, especially as the world gets harsher.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:17

Isn't that the truth? You need more softness, vulnerability, kindness, empathy, really understand where people are coming from. And we have no idea what anybody's going through unless they tell us. Yeah, definitely. Well, if anyone would like to connect with you based on your story or how they relate to your story, how can they best reach out to you?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:43

Probably just through email. Um so I can always give that to you and you can link it at the bottom. But yeah, that'd probably be the best way.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:51

All right. I love that. All right. Well, Sky, I want to thank you so much for sharing your story. It was a pleasure talking to you. And I wish you nothing but success and love in your your future. And if you ever want to share and become a part two, because things have progressed on meeting your new aunt or cousin or siblings or anything else, please, please reach out. We would love to update where you're at with your journey since you are just coming up on your one-year discovery. So there's a lot, a lot can happen. So yeah, keep in contact. I would love to see how things are going for you.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:41

Yeah, absolutely. And thank you so much for having me. And thanks for doing this because it's really it's helped me a lot just listening to everyone else. So I really appreciate you creating a space for everyone.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:51

Thank you. I really appreciate that. If you would like to share your story, please email me at motherslies and dna surprises at gmail.com. You can share anonymously if you prefer. I would also love to hear from you with any reviews, questions, comments, or show ideas.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:09

Thank you for being here with us, where we are not alone in our struggles with our own.