Kim - When Healers Need Healing

People trained to save everyone else rarely get asked a simple question:
Where do you put your own pain?

In this season finale, Valerie sits down with Kim —known to many as Captain Kim—a U.S. Army Veteran, former combat medic and emergency room nurse, and founder of the Reveille & Retreat Project.

Kim’s path to leadership wasn’t linear. It was shaped by childhood adversity, military service, years on the front lines of trauma care, and raising a child as a single mother. Like so many who live in constant readiness, she learned how to function, perform, and push through—until her body no longer allowed it.

When foot surgery forced her to slow down, everything she had outrun caught up.

Memories from the ER. Nightmares. Survival patterns that no longer worked.

In this conversation, we talk honestly about what happens when a life built on resilience meets the reality of unresolved trauma. From childhood experiences like divorce and lack of emotional attunement, to the way blame turns inward when we’re trying to make sense of it all—Kim shares what it looked like to move from living in fight-or-flight to something steadier and more sustainable.

You’ll hear real, practical tools for nervous system regulation—and what it actually takes to move beyond white-knuckling your way through life.

We also go deeper into Kim’s work today. Through the Reveille & Retreat Project, she creates healing retreats where military women can step out of performance and into truth—using nature, movement, and shared storytelling as pathways back to connection.

She shares what makes a space truly safe, why the outdoors can support trauma healing, and how community only works when it includes boundaries and the right people.

Kim is also the co-founder and host of the Dog Tag Diaries, where women veterans have honest conversations about service, identity, moral injury, grief, and life beyond the uniform.

Because the stories we once survived… often become the ones that help others heal.

Listen to Dog Tag Diaries here - https://dogtagdiaries.captivate.fm/

Transcript

Welcome And Listening With Care

Valerie 0:01

Welcome to Defines of Silence. I'm Valerie, your host, a veteran, nurse, and a survivor. This is a space for sacred witnessing, for stories often carried quietly and for the people who hold them. For survivors, healers, and witnesses. Here we stand against the silence that isolates and honor the silence that allows us to truly be heard. Some episodes in this season will focus on sexual trauma and forensic realities. Others will explore moral injury, grief, and the cost of caring deeply in a world that can wound. You're invited to listen at your own pace, pause when you need to, and take what serves you and leave the rest. A gentle note before we begin. This podcast includes conversations about trauma and abuse. Please listen with care and honor your well-being. Thank you for being here and witnessing today's conversation. Welcome, witnesses. I am so excited to have you here today for season two, episode 10. Hard to believe that two seasons already have gone by. This has been an exhilarating experience, a rewarding experience, um, just a soul-searching experience. And I have just had such the honor and privilege of listening to so many stories and having so many guests that were special. Um, that includes our guests today. So, what happens when people trained to save everyone else are the ones who need space to heal? Today we're going to talk with a woman who's helping military women break silence around trauma and reclaim their stories. My guest today's name is Kim. She has served in the United States Army and the Army Reserves as a combat medic, combat nurse, and a flight instructor. She's also recognized as one of the top female athletes in the Army during her service, which is pretty fantastic, I think. Um, Kim is also the host of a podcast called Dog Tag Diaries. This is a space where women who have served in the military can share their stories openly and honestly. The show raises awareness around military trauma and mental health while building supportive community where women can find strength, connection, and encouragement through shared experience. On top of that, she is the CEO of a nonprofit called Revelation Retreat, which offers healing retreats and specifically designed for women in the military community. This creates a space for resilience, self-discovery, growth through a variety of therapeutic and empowering practices. So Kim is somebody who cares deeply about elevating women's voices in this healing space and helping people reconnect with their strength and potential. So it's just fitting that she's here on season two ending because she's somebody who cares deeply about this. And I'm really honored to have her amazing energy here in the studio today. She is courageously taking off the podcast hat today for the first time and opening up about her own journey, which is really weird to be on the other side. So again, this is a big deal. I'm so honored. I'm a fan of your work, and it's it's really been honoring that you would choose to have this space to share your story. Um, I've personally attended a retreat that was sponsored by Rebelian Retreat. And through an encounter at that retreat, I now have a hearthorse relationship that I would never have if I didn't go on that retreat. So there's so many things in our story that cross paths that you probably don't even know about. So I'm just so thankful to have you here. I know that the the listeners, the witnesses are gonna enjoy this conversation. So welcome.

Kim 4:12

Well, this is so different because I'm on the other side and I'm not sure I've been on the other side in quite a while. So I'm I'm curious to see what comes up because I love how you are so organic and all. I think we're freezing. And and and I the fact that we're both nurses and caretakers, I feel like we just trust the process in knowing that it's all gonna be okay. And we're and and because we're like those nurturing type people, I feel very safe with you. Like no matter what I say or how I say it, or if it if I get triggered, I know you'll be there for me. t

Valerie 5:39

Maybe it was just maybe it was just transient. So yeah, we can have Justin's amazing. Hi, Justin. He can fix the he can fix that part for us. So um maybe try that again. o

Kim 6:04

Um, yeah, so it's really different being on the other side because again, I think it's like a control factor, you know. I'm the one leading this conversation, and so this is all just coming into fruition right now in my head. But um, yeah, it's so different. However, because we have so many similarities, and because you've been on my podcast, and because I've known you before this, I feel very safe with you. And so I I love that you do this so organically that we are just gonna sit here and we're gonna talk and we are going to see what erupts. And I know no matter what, you're here for me and you're here to make me feel safe.

Valerie 6:48

Yeah, it's true. And for those that don't know, I don't have a script or a plan. This is willy-nilly wild west podcasting. We just get on and start talking. So um I

Grounding Before The Story Begins

Valerie 7:00

really admire you for being willing to be vulnerable to do that. So before we get started, I like to take our witnesses through just a little grounding exercise, and that's for both of us too, so that we can just arrive where we're at and get in our bodies and just be prepared to witness and listen. So if it's safe for you where you're at, uh close your eyes. If you can't, that's okay. Just take a moment, drop your shoulders, relax your jaw, take a breath in. Just exhale slowly and just be ready to witness. Amazing. All right, here we

Foot Surgery Forces A Reckoning

Valerie 7:40

go. So the first question I have is just so our witnesses can know who you are, tell us a little bit about how you got in this world, podcasting and um doing a nonprofit. Like this didn't happen by accident.

Kim 7:56

No, no, I so the way I got into this world, like the story origin of all of this, or the origin story of all of this, is I I was going, I was living in a fight or flight state, and we're gonna talk more about it um more detailed, but I was living in a fight or flight state for years, and I finally came to a halt. I ended up having to need foot surgery, and so I was not able to do my 312s in the ER anymore. I wasn't able to run and be outside all day and just all those activities that helped keep me grounded. Um, and so I ended up not healing correctly from the first one, so I needed another one. And for one full year, I needed to recover from foot surgery. So I needed to, I found myself in a very vulnerable place where a lot of things started coming up that I didn't even realize were in there because for years I kept myself so busy, so distracted, like most of us do. And I was like, oh my gosh, like I need to get cerebral now because usually I was like cerebral and physical. Now I needed to just get cerebral, and I was like, I need to do something. I really need to do something to help myself, and I knew I wasn't alone, so I needed to find an avenue to help myself and to help other military women. And interestingly enough, I bump into this gentleman who's a veteran, and he comes up to me and says, Hey, we're having a hard time finding women for our retreats. Are you willing to do an all-military woman retreat and we'll be your fiscal agent? And I was like, Oh my gosh, yes, this is all the things I've been manifesting and thinking about. And he's like, and I have the perfect woman to do it with you. And that's when I got introduced to the co-founder of Reveling Retreat Project, Dakota.

Valerie 10:07

And so when you got out, we you were already a nurse, so you're working 12-hour shifts. Like, I get the busyness part, like I get that. Because if we're busy, we don't have to look at ourselves. We can go, oh, I'm too busy to think about that, or I'm too busy to carry whatever it is that um I'm carrying. So tell me a little bit about how that was for you um discovering that you had to be with yourself and not have these things.

Kim 10:37

So it was very confusing at first. I was like, you're you're in this life for like 40 some years, and you're used to you're just conditioned to live in a certain way, and then it stops. You come to a halt, and you're like, oh my gosh, I don't understand what's going on. Like I was starting to have these um all these like nightmares from working in 11-1 trauma ER that I never really got to um absorb. I well, I absorbed it, I never got to, so I don't you never released it, you never moved it through. Yeah, yeah. Because at the time, so when I got when I went out of active duty and into reserves, I was pregnant with my son. I was a single mom, I was pregnant, and I only had my LPN. And so I'm gonna date myself, but I was only making $9 an hour. Yeah, $9 an hour. And I was working in a nursing home at the time because as a new nurse, that's the only people that would, you know, they say, Oh, you need experience. And I was like, Well, I have experience. That's like being a student nurse, but I don't, yeah, I don't have experience in the real world. So we started at a nursing home, and I remember I was just so miserable. I was making $9 an hour, I was pregnant, I was living in an apartment on my own, and I was like, How in the world am I gonna do this? And so it really just I really ended up, yeah, keeping myself super busy because I had to work full-time, I had to go to school full-time, I had to take care of my son, and then I had my military obligations, which was one week in a month, and then two weeks a year, and sometimes more than that with schools and annual trainings. So I really had no time. And talk about putting yourself in the environment that you grew up in unknowingly, it was just a chaotic childhood going into the military, which is intense and chaotic, and then going into a level one trauma ER, which was chaotic and intense. And so, and then raising a son. Um yeah, it was just and playing both roles, mom and dad. There was just a lot of confusion, and I didn't know how to deal with really any of it. I just I try my best, but I I look back now and I'm like, oh gosh, I wish, I wish I had a do-over.

Valerie 13:23

Yeah, I think I think that all the roads we travel lead us right to where we are, right? So regardless of how it all came out for me, I still feel like maybe, maybe not, I would have still ended up right here. I don't know that, but it sure feels like a do-over in some areas. Like, I was just thinking about this last night, and it it makes me tear up a little bit when I was thinking about this. Um, all of a sudden I just had this memory of this particular thing experience, you know, person that I was encountering, and something that I said, like something that I said to this man, and I haven't thought about that. I mean, I I probably never thought about it again after I said it, but I don't know why it popped in my heart last night. And I was like, that was an awful thing to say. Like it was a terrible thing to say, and I just it took me down this rabbit trail of thinking about how I used to be and how I used to show up in the world. And I was like starting to get a little bit like, oh, you're a terrible person. This is awful, you know. And I stopped, I caught myself and I'm like, hold on. That was, you know, 15 years ago. And and I don't know why I was said that or what I was even thinking. And it's an awful thing to say to someone. And the way that person responded was absolutely more kind than I deserved based on what I was saying. But I was just like sad for that version of myself then, but realized now like this is just a barometer for like the growth that I've had. So I ended up like kind of coming out of that what I normally would have spiraled in. But I was thinking, man, I wish I could ever redo because I would have never said that, never said that, you know. And I don't know this person, I can't go find them and say anything but but it it gives me some compassion towards the people who maybe you know haven't been the kindest to me. I had an experience this week that maybe that's why that came up because somebody was not very kind to me earlier this week. And I and I had to work through that and you know find some compassion for them. And so I don't know if that's why God brought that to my mind last night or not, but I was definitely like I can't believe I would say something so awful to someone's face, and I'm not even gonna tell you what it was, but but it just made me think like, man, we don't get do-overs, like we don't get a do-over, so I can choose to stay in that and I can't change the past, or I can just move forward and say, I did the best that I could with the thinking I had at the time, even though that was a pretty crappy thing to do, you know. So I imagine you found yourself in some situations like that as well, as you look back.

Kim 16:05

Um yeah, totally. And you know, one of the most beautiful things that someone has told me that I knew way back when was, oh my gosh, I don't even recognize you anymore. And I'm like, thank goodness such a compliment. Yes, yay! All this therapy and all this work that I've done on myself because I really needed to stop going in circles and stop blaming everyone else, and then finally be like, oh, I'm the common denominator. Yeah, I need to work on me. And so, even before we start this, I do want to put a disclaimer out. Like, I'm not here to blame anyone that was in my journey and and or myself anymore. Like, I know we all go through different things, we all come from different families and histories and that shape us in different ways. And so we all carry this generational trauma and hardship. And my intention here is just to share my story, hopefully, like offer some perspective and understanding, and then you know, make connections out of it. Yeah. People are like, oh, yeah, that that was me too.

Valerie 17:18

Yeah, that and that's what this space is for. And I love that you said that you don't blame yourself. And that I think that, well, for me, it was harder to not blame myself than other people. Like, I still I mean, that through that circle, let's talk about that too, that cycle that you were talking about, where you just kind of blame and um keep yourself stuck in like a victim mindset. And I was doing that for a long time, but I found that once I could release others, I then took it onto myself. And I didn't know at the time that's really what I was doing. And now looking back, I'm like, man, I just transferred it from them to myself, and that's when it really got dark and scary. So if you're open to it, maybe if you think it would help some of our witnesses, maybe share a little bit about what that journey was like for you. What were you processing? What were you going through? Like, what was the what happened that landed you to this

Childhood Trauma And The Need For Structure

Valerie 18:10

place?

Kim 18:11

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so it all starts in childhood. I believe like childhood therapy is huge, and I didn't know about it until I started in 2013. And I was just like, oh my goodness, it all makes sense. And again, my parents did the best they could, and it was they we all have that trauma that was passed away to us. So, but there was it was it was tough for me because when my parents divorced, they both kind of went their own direction, and and I understand it now. And people, I mean, people get divorced not because they like each other, right? It's usually not amicable, and so they really don't want to hang out with one another anymore. That's why they're getting divorced, but you still have this these kids that you need to take care of, and that is really difficult. Um, and so I was like, oh my gosh, I I was that kid who who was really affected by my parents' divorce and not having them around so much. And this is through, this is my story through my lens and what I remember, and then going back and asking my parents about what happened, and they they weren't very open to talk about it, which I understand too, because right, that's gonna bring up a lot of stuff for them. So I had to lean on my friends that were that surrounded me at that time in my life, and then another woman who lived next door to really tell me what happened because it was very confusing to me. You know, you're here with your family, and then the divorce happens, and you really don't see your mom and dad anymore, and we are really just left to our our own vices, and you put three teenage girls with no boundaries or no um, you can have um no um just no guardrails in place for for safety.

Valerie 20:23

Yeah, so you were teenagers when they divorced. Yes, yeah.

Kim 20:28

I was 12 and and there was no there was just no set of rules for us to go by. And then at that age, when you're getting your hormones and you're confused to begin with, so then you add that on, and I was just like, oh gosh, I was just this reckless child because I had that road to do all of that, but I had, yeah, I didn't have any rules to abide by, which you know, you it just I went on my own journey then, yeah, and looking back, I see how much I crave structure now and discipline. And so going into the military was the best thing that could have happened to me because it was all the things that I didn't have growing up discipline, structure, people leading you and and giving you um positive and negative reinforcement. So it it helped me learn how to function in the world better. But yeah, so going into being that child of divorced parents was was very tough for me. And I didn't know, all I knew is I was getting these feelings inside, like I was getting angry and I was lashing out, and I didn't know how to communicate in a healthy way because I was never taught any of this. So when I got these feelings, I would get angry and I would either Get physical with an object, or like I've learned that running was the key for me. Like just take off, run, keep going, and then um until you exhaust yourself. And so I became this amazing athlete from it, but I didn't it wasn't it wasn't coming from a place where, like, yeah, I want to be the top athlete and I want to, you know, end up being like I yeah, I I don't I want to be, I just I'm learning now that the reason I did all those things was to keep myself safe and level and really just like that neutral, um, bring myself back to that yeah, long, relaxed state.

Valerie 22:47

Yeah. And when you were forced to kind of take a look at yourself and evaluate that, like I know for me, the first time I went to therapy, I was like, my childhood has nothing to do with this. I don't need to talk about any of that. And we find out later that sadly it is, it is. And the reason, and I know now with a little more distance, that the reason that I was saying that was because it wasn't that I didn't think my childhood had nothing to do with it. It was that I didn't think my childhood was that big of a problem. Because what I didn't understand is that childhood developmental trauma doesn't necessarily mean that your parents were alcoholics or that you were, you know, being abused in a direct way. It could be lack of attunement, like nobody validated your feelings, or you know, as a daughter, having a father that maybe didn't attune to you as a man should attune to a daughter. It's like so then you're left trying to. Do you see me? Does anybody see me? Is this you know, so for me it led to a lot of striving and performing. And that whole situation, when it kind of came to the front of my mind, I was like, holy crap. And it took me, I realized it had nothing. My problems and the way I was blowing up my relationships and the way that I was performing in my job and everything else had nothing to do with necessarily um my sexual assaults that I thought were causing me all of these, you know, issues. It was just, I didn't, like you said, I didn't know how to do emotions. I didn't know how to process things. So that's a very unnerving feeling, but you don't even know it until you do. And then it all comes through that nervous system at one time. So you find yourself struggling. So it sounds like in the middle of your struggle, where were you in that journey when Reveline Retreat started? Were you kind of on the on the tail end of that journey?

Kim 24:46

Or there's never really a tail end, but I started in therapy like 2013, and then I and then Revelie and Retreat Project was born in 2023, and so I felt like I was in a good place to be like so 10 years of working.

Valerie 25:02

Oh yeah, yeah, that's amazing.

Kim 25:04

And and you know what? When she started telling me about childhood therapy, I was like just much like you, I'm like, what? I never heard of this. And I mean it's so common now, but back in 2013, I think they were just kind of like playing with it, and at least for me, because I went to therapy before that, and we never talked about childhood therapy, and so once I started digging into it and doing research, I was like, oh my gosh, this is so interesting. I want to know more. And then when you start learning, instead of blaming, which I did for years, when you start learning that everyone has a story, your parents have a story, their parents have a story. And so if they do their best to be aware as well. But again, back then it really wasn't talked about. And so I my heart goes out to them back then because they've really had to deal with things alone. And now we have all these resources out here. We have nonprofits, we have um people going on social media and talking about it like right over like morning coffee, and it's amazing, and I love it. And I think it's so important to understand your past experiences so you understand why your body's getting triggered, why these emotions are happening, so then you can be like, Oh, yeah, I get it. I understand where they're coming from. It's like anything in life. You need to understand why it happened in order to um repair it. Yeah, and so now something comes up and my heart starts racing. I go into fight or flight, my heart starts racing, my blood pressure is up, I'm breathing quicker, and I'm like, oh my gosh. And I was like, oh, okay, I've just been triggered. My mind's trying to keep me safe. I need to go do something where sometimes I dance it out, sometimes I just sit down right there where I'm at and start breathing. Sometimes I call a friend to talk it through, but just understanding that, oh, yeah, I get it. Now I need to relax myself and take myself to a more calm space, and then I can think clearly again, and I can talk myself into a this was a measure that used to keep you safe. We're not keeping that's we're not gonna use that anymore. We're using these techniques, and eventually, like anything else, it becomes a habit.

Trauma ER Nightmares And Debriefing

Valerie 27:40

Yeah, and you mentioned something earlier that I want to circle back to. Um, when you said that you started to have nightmares about patients and things. So, for those that aren't really sure, working in a trauma center is no joke. Um, I did I worked in a level two, I currently work at a level two also, but as an ER nurse, that's a whole different world. Um, so you're seeing and hearing things that the average person doesn't even hear and see on the news. Like these are things that and and we go home and just make dinner. Like we go home and just make dinner, and we don't well, I say we, I did not do anything to process that through. I never took advantage of the debrief. So when you said that, it just reminded me like, yes, and and now sitting here, I can recall some particular cases that I will never ever forget or forget the sounds of those mothers screaming or you know, whatever it is. Um, and I'll never ever forget that. But now it doesn't have the emotional charge that it used to. Um, so can you talk a little bit about what that was like for you when those things started to surface? And what did you do to help yourself through that?

Kim 28:54

Yeah, I did not like it, that's for sure. And you're right, working in a level one trauma for so many years, you just become accustomed to it again, because this was, I believe, the second job after the um nursing home or third job after the nursing home. And this is where I decided to keep my career. And at first, like anything, you're like, oh my gosh, you could feel your nervous system. Like you are on a constant roller coaster, and for 12 hours, yeah, for 12 hours. So, and if you do shifts right in a row, three, four, 12-hour shifts, that's the 12-hour shifts that you're you are boots on the ground or scrubs, scrubs in the hospital, um there, but you have that drive-in, you have the prep work, at least for me, I would ride my bike 20 minutes beforehand just to get ready for the day, and then um, and then you come home. So they're like 14, 15 hour days, and so you really don't have a lot of time to process, nor do you want to because you are physically exhausted. Right, your body's not meant to stay in a fight or flight for 12 hours. No, and when you had a level one trauma, that's exactly what you do. There is like a five-hour wait in the waiting room. You are constantly getting traumas in some that yes live, but most of them are not, and you are seeing some really catastrophic um sights. Yeah, the visuals that you are getting, the odd um like the auditory sounds, yes, everything that you're hearing. You said from your from the moms that just found out that their kids have have died, like it's just gosh, it's just so heart-wrenching. And at the same time, it becomes normal after years and years and years. Well, and then it stops, and you're like, Yeah, this doesn't feel good. The nightmares, that didn't, it doesn't feel good, and you're like, oh gosh, you you're you it really takes you right back to that place, and then you start wondering, like, I'm like, I wonder how how that person made it through, and your your mind just goes and goes. And gosh, I really had to unpack that with my therapist, and she was very understanding. She was like, Oh my gosh, work like you went from trauma as a child and continued to put yourself in chaotic situations that resembled that you went into the military, you went into a level one trauma ER, you were a single mom. It was, yeah, one after another, and an extreme endurance athlete, high performance, and it was exhausting.

Valerie 31:42

Yeah.

Kim 31:42

So when you oh, go ahead.

Valerie 31:44

Well, I was just gonna say, what when you white knuckle and white knuckle to the next thing, to the next thing, and I don't know about you, but I found myself multiple times saying, when I get through this, then I can deal with that. And then there was never get through this, it was always something else. So, like the white knuckling was was it's just a constant state. So when you when I like clench my fists and think about what white knuckling feels like, I mean, it it hurts, like it hurts. And I'm thinking emotionally, just white knuckling for decades. Um, it's no wonder that we landed up being numb and burned out. And and I know for you, you had some outlets there. Um, did you find that those outlets were mostly helpful, or did you find yourself still trying to escape, even though you had those outlets? I know for me, like it led to substances and things like that because the other outlets weren't working anymore. So then it was like, if I can't outrun it, then I'm gonna just numb it and not even knowing that really that's uh that's what I was doing. So food, you know, alcohol, whatever. Um, yeah, and it leads you to get to being real, real stuck. And I'm glad that you mentioned um that it's leading from one chaos to another because it's familiar. So I don't know about you, but whenever things started to unpack and I was going through these things, if I had a boring day or something quote unquote normal, I thought something was wrong. I didn't know how to accept just the mundane, which now is I welcome.

Kim 33:19

So I love that you say that, Val, because you were absolutely right. Like I the same way, I didn't know what was going on at the time. But if there was like that lull, that boredom, which I crave now, it's not boredom. We're supposed to live in that state. Yes. But if there was that boredom back then, just like you, I was like, oh gosh, and I would unconsciously create this chaos. And I was like, now I know, and I and don't get me wrong, I still do it because it was years of of all of that being ingrained in me and become a conditioned response. That's how I lived my life. But now I can at least see it. I'm like, oh, you're putting yourself back in chaos. That's not where we're going anymore. Now we are gonna sit here, and I I crave it. I crave to stay in that state. Me too. That boring, stop putting quotation, Marco, that boring state, that very calm, regulated nervous system state, yeah, which I was so unused to.

Valerie 34:26

Yeah, like what did that look like? I was like, I don't know what

Learning Calm After Living In Chaos

Valerie 34:30

that would look like. I didn't, I didn't know that I was in fight or flight all the time. So something that's interesting, um, I had probably pretty early into my healing journey. Um, you know, it's also interesting to say, and the reason I'm backtracking a little bit is because you're everybody's healing journey looks different. So my healing journey had multiple modalities, different phases, different seasons, different all over. But it wasn't until I got to the nervous system healing that once the more awareness started coming out, like you said, where you could see online there were people posting videos and there was more brain science coming out and things like that. And it was like, oh, this is what I've been missing. That's what I'm feeling in my body. So I remember having a conversation with my husband about something. I can't even tell you what it is right now, but I we had an adult conversation. This was both after after we'd both been through Save a Warrior. We had this conversation that was just, and we resolved it. There was no dramatics, it was okay. And I walked away feeling like something's wrong here, like something's very wrong here. I don't know what's going on. And I remember reaching out to a sister and saying, like, we just had this conversation, but why do I feel like there's something missing? Like I should, there should be something else here. And she's like, wow, that's normal. That's that's that sounds to me like you had an adult conversation and you resolved the issue and there was no drama and you just don't know what to do with that. And I was like, Well, hot damn. Okay. So this is adulting. All right, I got this. Like, it was just so beautiful, but at the same time so unnerving because I was like, man, when's the other shoe gonna drop? I feel like this should be like something else should be going on here. And it's just been wild to see over the last few years the more people I encounter, the more people come on and want to tell their stories, how different everybody's journey has been, you know, um, and how different things can shape it. You know, a lot of people use humor. I I love using humor, but I also use humor to minimize. So I have to be careful when I'm doing that because I can catch myself now and be like, oh yeah, I'm just very uncomfortable right now, so I'm gonna make this joke. Like this is not healthy, like, but also you can find joy in humor, and it is healthy, like there has to be a balance. Um, I don't know where I got off on that rabbit trail, but yes.

Kim 36:53

No, and I want I I want to piggyback on that because it's it is interesting because when you start learning and being aware and understanding, like, oh, that's my past trauma, and I'm still acting like that because you're still in that teeter-totter state where you're like, I'm trying to get over here, but my body and mind keep going back, you know, to the fight or fight. And so I I reference like you're it's almost like watching a toddler when they first start walking. You have to watch yourself at all times and be very mindful, and it can be quite exhausting because you're like, oh wow, this is my old behavior, we're moving over here. And so it really is. And if you're like us who are high performing females, we go, we go hard and we're like, okay, we are gonna make this better, and we are gonna become better humans and not even better humans, because we were really amazing humans. It's just that we weren't taught those those healthy outlets and how to live in a world in a healthy way, and so yeah, just watching it, but I have to say, I'm so I'm so proud of myself and for putting in the work because it is so much easier now. And like I said, I crave having like maybe a disagreement or maybe something happened, and being able to have, like you and your husband, an adult conversation to be like, oh my gosh, this was my part. I'm so sorry because this is and be able to say where it all came from. And when you have another human who's willing to do the same, it is just such a beautiful, like, collaboration and it feels so amazing. And now you just want to stay in those states. Yeah, I don't want to be in that chaotic state. In fact, even thinking about anything chaotic anymore, like stepping into a level one trauma ER, it does not feel good for me. I know I would I could do like level three or level four, but there is no way I'd be able to step back into a level one trauma anymore, or those relationships that I used to get into, or friendships. There is no way. And and for a long time I was confused when I started healing. I was like, ah, is this my trauma? Or is this my intuition that I should be listening to? And so now it's getting so much easier to just be like, if it doesn't feel good for you, Kim, you've done enough research, you've done enough um enough counseling, you've done enough work on yourself that you can trust yourself again. And Val, I have to say, that is the most beautiful feeling I've ever had in my life to be able to trust myself again.

Valerie 39:46

Yeah, I can see it on your face just when you're saying that, that that's that's a deep, deep truth for you. Yeah, that and I think that's you know, because our bodies keep the score. And how many times did we go against our gut because we didn't know if we could trust it? And so leaning in and saying, like, yeah, you've you've done this already. I don't have to figure it out, like, yeah, if this doesn't feel good for me, my my concern with that when I first started to really heal was I didn't know what codependency was. I didn't know that I was rescuing people, I really thought I was being helpful or whatever. But as I've healed and learned more things, I'm realizing that that chaos was just it was just easier. And my body was familiar with that. And like my daughter and I had a conversation the other day, and she said, Mom, every time I make plans with this person or I do X, Y, Z, she's like, I feel it in my chest every time, and I know that this is something that's gonna happen. And I'm like, oh, so I can you let me talk to you about that. Like, let's talk about what that means. Like you can listen to that because I didn't know I could listen, I had to shove that down. And so to see that my household is healing and we're we'll be able to do these things together has been incredible. Um, but knowing that I can teach my daughters to trust themselves, um, and they surprise me. It makes me want to cry every time I think about it. They surprise me left and right. They say things and I'm like, how did you know that? And they're like, uh, I don't know, like they because it's just been the normal talk around here. So it's not that they went looking for, they're not on TikTok looking up this kind of stuff. That's what mom does. That's not, you know, so for them to just catch it from what's being modeled in the home has been very um encouraging

Parenting While Healing Generational Trauma

Valerie 41:40

for me. But um, since we're talking a little bit about that part, what was it like for you as a parent um navigating your relationship with your son and healing and all that stuff? Can we just talk a little bit about I haven't talked with any guests about this yet, about the parenting, oh, the parenting shit that comes with healing and looking at your responsibility in that.

Kim 42:05

Yeah. Yeah, that has been quite the journey because I had my son when I was young. Um, and I went 20, 22, and so I was still in that phase where I didn't even understand what was going on. And I went back home so my parents can help while I went to school, while I worked full-time, while I fulfilled my military obligation. And my son just went right back into the trauma, the generational trauma that I was in. And it was so hard because once I started healing and understanding it, I was trying to implement these new rules, and my family was still on the old rules, and so it caused a lot of conflict and a lot of anger and pain and fear, and just I mean, there was not a lot of understanding, and we don't come from a place where we talk about things, so it was very difficult to have conversations and explain because it was the way we would communicate was loud, explosive, and it just wasn't healthy. And so watching my son grow up like that was really tough. Um, I look back and I say, gosh, I just wish I would have trusted myself or had the tools to trust myself back then to just raise them on my own. Again, I don't know what would have happened. Yeah, you know, if I again we were talking about that in the beginning. You never know the choices that you make, you never know where it's gonna take you in life. So maybe something horrible would have happened. I don't know. But what matters. To me, is that I have healed and learned a whole bunch of healthy behaviors, and now I try and communicate that with him. And I must say, he's done a lot of work on his own as well because I just talked to him last week, and just like you were saying, where your kids were like blowing your mind with what they were saying, he was doing the same thing, and I found that him and I were able to have this conversation that was just so constructive and beautiful, and it just warmed my heart. Like you were talking about when your daughter had this feeling in her chest. This was like this warm feeling that came over my chest, and it felt like my heart just grew like grew five times, and I was just so proud to be in that moment. But that was years of uncomfortableness and pain. But that's how we grew up again. No, not blaming anyone. That's how we grew up, and that was implemented into all those years of raising him. Yeah, so I had to I had to really unpack all that with therapy. I a lot of a lot of sessions crying. And but there were a lot of aha moments that came out of it. And so instead of playing victim, again, you learn where all this is coming from and you make a change.

Valerie 45:25

Yep. And you have a choice, right? We have agency in our own healing, and that's the biggest theme that I've heard from every guest that's come on this show. Um, is that they've had some kind of agency and choosing to leave the story and just focus on going forward and not repeating that cycle. And it doesn't always go the way we plan, um, or maybe it takes longer than we think it's going to. And and I think Confucius says it like it doesn't matter how long it takes, just keep going. Just keep going. And I still have to remind myself of that. Um, especially when things come up and I realize, oh, maybe that's something that needs to be healed. And I wasn't aware of it before because I don't think I could have handled it before. I needed to do all these other layers first before I could actually get to the real root. And so I'm finding that as time goes on. And every time I sit and have a conversation with somebody, I learn something new about myself as we're talking. And I'm like, this is like this is amazing. Just and and that's where the connection comes in is knowing that other women out there have um issues. And I know the first ever retreat I ever went to that was outside of a religious organization that was actually like a women's veterans retreat, I that changed my life uh because I didn't know that I was not alone. And that sounds silly to say now, like of course I wasn't alone. Uh, but you would have thought, I mean, I had it that way. I had it that way, that I was alone and defective, and this was I was performing so well. And on the outside, I created this prison for myself because I was successful. I I struggled through nursing school, I struggled through uh leadership issues, I struggled through um organizational issues that within lots of different jobs I had and stuff, and even uh religious organizations, just different things. Everything had the same theme that kept happening to me. And I was like, hold on a second, mayhaps this is me. So I gotta look at this. And now I can say that and laugh about it. But at the time it was so painful to like take a look at myself and say, maybe, maybe it is me. So then without the maturity there, it becomes, well, I must be a piece of shit. I must be, you know, so bad. But then when I went to people and said, you know, I'm really struggling. I think, you know, I was still trying to whitewash it. I was not being fully honest about how much was going on for me, even with my own spouse, even with like I was just it was the pot was boiling up over, and I I was like, this is gonna explode and it's gonna be real messy. And when it did, it was weird because people didn't know what to do with me. They're like, no, not you. Bow that you know, you you have and it was like people telling me what all how strong I was, and it would just put me in a rage. Like, don't tell me that because clearly I've been surviving, but nobody could see it. So I went through this period of like, does anybody see me? What is happening? And when I went to that first women veterans retreat, I was seen by 39 other women that didn't know me, and I I was like, I've been missing something, and it was that community of vulnerability and honesty. So if you can't be vulnerable, then you can't heal. And it doesn't mean blasting your stuff. Like I'm at a point now where I can be truly vulnerable. I used to think I was vulnerable, but really I was kind of sugarcoating and making myself look good and that things were better than they were. And I was taking bits and pieces of other people's stories that I heard and thinking, yeah, I can apply that to myself, but like it sounded good, but I didn't know how to actually do that work. And so it took a lot to get to that point. And so I guess I'm going where I'm going with this is that you know, now you have Revelie and Retreat, so

Building Retreats That Feel Safe

Valerie 49:20

you're working with women. Now we're wounded women. So how do you navigate? Um, let's talk about this. How do you navigate um hard, difficult situations and women that are coming in angry and the world owes them something? And I'm not making them wrong, please hear this the right way. I'm just saying we got some stuff, and so we show up to these things, yeah, seeing them for who they are and showing them compassion and love, but that is not easy, and sometimes it doesn't translate. Do you ever struggle with that? Or do you have how do you lead as a sheo in an environment like that?

Kim 49:58

Yeah, you know what, Val, I have to say, it has been really I, you know, there's a lot of times I don't give myself credit. I'm like, oh, it just happened organically, but that's not true. There was a lot of of thought that goes into these because I have been in that situation before. I have been those women. I totally understand, like, boy, we need to make this a safe environment. So when they when these women come to these retreats from different different states um and different walks of life, but with a similar, similar um to use issues, similar traumas, like being a military woman in uniform, um, a woman in uniform in the military. It's we have to make that that grounding invitational ceremony really pure because that's that's where it's so important to make them feel safe. If they don't feel safe when they when they get there, that whole retreat's gonna be useless. I mean, they may be able to get some, but it's gonna be this roller coaster, like, oh, I'm safe. Oh no, I'm not, no, I'm not. This doesn't, this doesn't feel safe. So we really try and do like grounding and invitational ceremonies and this being welcoming when they come. Like you matter. You're here, your voice matters. It's important that you're here. You are gonna make a difference. We don't know how yet, but you're gonna make a difference this weekend in your own life and others.

Valerie 51:35

Yeah.

Kim 51:35

And so providing that safe spot is really safe space is really important. And then going into the different types of healing modalities, like I think it's really important for us to look at the mental health, neutralize it, and and take it into a holistic healing. And I really think that the outdoors have it all for us. We spend so much time inside. The outdoors is our healing space. All of our all of our um senses are activated out there, and that cascade of hormone release is just this you it just happens naturally when you see the neutral colors, when you smell, you know, the pine trees, when you just see dogs frolicking, like all that just happens innately, kind of like when you see a bear and unconsciously your body goes into fight or flight. We're made for that. It's the same thing when you go outside and you see peace, it's just your body naturally, naturally saturates yourself with these good feeling hormones, yeah. And movement, movement does it as well. So just walking outside, talking with a friend, it's just so therapeutic. So I love the fact that I went through all of this stuff to get to where I am now, so I can help lead other women. Because I love that you said that experience it, yeah. Um you do, you need to experience it and able in order to be able to lead.

Valerie 53:08

I've never heard anyone say, I love that I went through all of that. That's that's just struck me. I've heard people say, and I've said it myself, like I'm grateful for what I've gone through because it's led me to here, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone say, I love that I went through all of that to get me here. Like, that's remarkable. That's remarkable for you to be able to say that.

Kim 53:28

Well, see, I it's because of Revelation Retreat Project and all the women that have gone through it, they have taught me so many things, just as much as we have taught them. Like, that's how Dog Tag Diaries came about. And you know, then it was ranked top 10% globally, which means people want to hear these stories. Yeah, and all they came to do was come and tell their stories, and we were like, oh my gosh, we need to get this out into the world. So, like you said, you don't feel like you're alone, and you can talk to people because I feel like that's the most important thing. Surrounding yourself with a safe, beautiful group of people, and that's what we try to do. Community is really key, and the thing is safe people, right? Like that's the key. You need to have safe people, not the people you're bringing in because of your traumas that you used to surround yourself with, the new types of people, the healthy people, the people that allow you to be vulnerable. And when you be vulnerable, when you're vulnerable or you mess up, or you've done something like that doesn't feel good, you can talk to them and they will judge you.

Valerie 54:38

Yeah, and it's not weaponized against you. Um and I think every I've gone on a lot of different retreats with a bunch of different organizations. I don't discriminate, I'll go wherever I'm invited. But everyone that I've gone on, I've taken away one or two connections with people that I've still been able to maintain and I've built this network of safe people. Um, and it's been really, really rewarding to take the leap to put myself out there because I know most women, I shouldn't say I know most women, I'll speak for myself, that I had a hard time being with women in groups like that. Because look, we're in the military around a bunch of guys. Let's just face it. Like that was hard enough being a woman in uniform and dealing with the things that we had to deal with. Um, but also the women tended to be really vicious in the circles that I was in. Um, and I see now that it was just protection, it was just a protective mechanism. I get all that. I'm not making them wrong. I was probably just the same. But coming out and going to a women's retreat or hanging out with a wench, I would say, I don't really like women. I don't want I don't I don't know why I'm gonna go do this. And I would go to women's things through church too. And like I feel like my heart started to soften towards being around women and realizing that we need each other and we need to encourage each other. Um, but that led to a lot of like shifty boundaries for me because I thought, well, I need to welcome all women then, but not everybody's a safe woman, not everyone needs to know all the things, and that was a hard lesson for me to learn when I started attending these retreats. Like, yeah, not everyone needs to know everything, and also there are certain types of people that will kind of latch on to you and kind of suck you dry, and they don't mean to, or maybe they do, I don't know. But I had a real hard time with that. Like, am I being a jerk because I need space from this particular energy or this person? And I've realized that it's taken me a long time to find those healthy boundaries within these organizations that offer these retreats and stuff. So I ask a lot more questions now. Like, what do you do when there's you know an issue? Or, you know, do you screen your people? How, you know, how is this um a healthy thing for me to go into? And not every answer is a yes. Sometimes maybe that particular program is not for you, so you

Starting Dog Tag Diaries From Fear

Valerie 57:00

have to use some discretion there. But um, can we talk about dog tag diaries for a second? Yeah, yes. So I'm kind of fangirling a little bit just because I've been I've listened to your podcast way before I ever wanted to have one. And I have found so much um just like strength and encouragement from your guests and from you and just listening and knowing, like I'm kind of standing on your shoulders, like you've kind of pioneered the way for women's stories and voices. And I just I am so like about it. But I there's been some guests that you've had that I'm like, I have so many more questions. Like, so do you ever follow up with them and um get you know other information after you talk with them too? Like, do you have a process in place for that? And also, how about maybe just tell us how Dog Tag Diaries got started? Because you're well over 5,000 downloads now, right? Mm-hmm. That's fantastic.

Kim 57:58

We are in our seventh season. It's crazy. Seventh season. And Val, to start it, I was scared. Like, I used to be this go-getter, and like when when I was working from fear and I didn't know, and I was so busy, you just do things, you know. And I was like, I was it to the world, I was very motivated and very um uh let me start that over. I looked very um, I looked very well put together, I looked very motivated. I was like, I could do anything, and then like once I started healing, I I started becoming fearful of things, which was interesting to me. And so I remember when we Dakota and I were like, we need to start a podcast, and we were like, wait, what? We never did that before. Like, have you even what equipment do you use? What platform are we gonna use? How are we gonna pay for it? Like, all these questions came in, came up, and I remember telling her that I really wanted to do this. I just it was it like it was just something that I knew had to be done, and sometimes I don't have words to put with it, but I just get this feeling, and so I really again now that I follow my intuition and trust myself, I'm just like, oh, when I get that feeling, I'm gonna follow it. So I did, but I needed Dakota with me. I needed, I was learning that you are so much stronger when you have, like you said, a safe, healthy friendship with someone who just wants to see you succeed and has similar passions. And so it was I love that she said yes because she is more, and she'll tell you this, of an introvert. And it was very scary for her, where I am more of this extrovert, and I'm like, I want to do it. There's just like I'm paralyzed with fear, I'm stuck right here. But if I had Dakota with me, which was really just this beautiful journey, I was like, I could do this, and that's how we started it, and we didn't know, and but at the same time, I'm like, you know what, Kim? You have done so many things in your life, there has been so many unfamiliarities, you know the first season is gonna be like trial and error, error, and so you just sit with that uncomfortableness until you can get past that hump. And now I get so excited to get on because one, oh my gosh, these women are just being sitting there with you and being vulnerable and telling their stories, and you can just see that trauma releasing from them, and then they talk about what they're doing now, and whether it's writing a book or starting a nonprofit or speaking events, it is just so amazing to hear these women and they empower other women. And isn't that what we're put on earth for? To help one another and to continue that cycle. So it has been just beautiful to watch. And like I said, I used to be fearful to go on, I would get like sick before I would go on. And now I'm like, oh my gosh, when's our next podcast?

Valerie 1:01:20

Yeah, I I think I still get a little flutter, like, okay, I gotta get on with this person. And I that I don't really have so much of that anymore. Um, I've just really enjoyed it. And do you go back and listen to your episodes or no?

Kim 1:01:35

You know what was interesting? I didn't in the beginning. I did not, and now I do. I love listening to them because I was critiquing myself. Yeah, at first it was, you know, even though I knew what the mission was, I was still in an unfamiliar area. So I was definitely critiquing myself. And now I don't critique myself. Now I'm like, oh my gosh, look at this beautiful collaboration that we are having, and all that energy that's getting sent out to the world. And I don't even know what that looks like because the woman, like after I get off the podcast, I'll be like, oh my gosh, I have a woman that I want to connect you with, and then I'll connect them and be like, create whatever was meant to be created there.

Valerie 1:02:20

That's beautiful on your own. Yeah, that's really gorgeous to even think about. Um, I listen to them, but it's taken me some time. And I like I'm only still in season two here. But at first, same thing, I I would be messaging saying, uh, can you cut this part out? Can you change this? I think I said too much here. And he's just like, Stop it. I'm like, you're right. He's totally right. So now I look forward to listening to him. And sometimes I'm not gonna lie, it's like I don't even remember everything we talked about. And I'm a couple months behind, like we record, and it may be a couple months before it comes out. And when I lit, I don't listen until it comes out. So then I'm like, oh, it's been a few months since we had the conversation. And I usually end up in tears. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm so proud of this person and so proud of this conversation, and it's not about me at all, but I'm just like the thing that came out of that, I'm like so proud of that these people are getting a chance to, even if they don't um feel it like things changed, something shifted when they told their story, and also realizing like I don't really know what I'm doing, I'm just doing it, and that's kind of how my whole life has been. And I'm just doing it. And I had a friend yesterday tell me I told her something I'm embarking on here soon. And she was like, you know what? I'm not surprised at all. I'm like, yeah, it's kind of true. I just leap and then it's okay. It's okay. I'll have to tell you when we're not recording because I'm not ready to say it out loud yet. Um, but stay tuned. Um, so it's just been fun because realizing like I'm just a human having a human experience, and you're just a human having a human experience, and we can talk about all the things. And you know, if we sound silly or maybe if I say something foolish, that's okay. You know, it is what it is. But realizing that even if nobody listens, if I get one download from an episode, then that one download mattered, or maybe it just mattered to the guest and they needed a safe space to share it, you know. So it's not about clicks and downloads and likes, although I mean that at least gives you a little bit of motivation that what you're doing, because it is hard. There's a lot of time this takes and you know, money and effort and things. So it's really I'm so appreciative when somebody gives me their time and wants to sit here because I get excited about coming on and talking about it too. And I'm like, who do I have today? Oh, this person and this person, and I'm constantly like when it comes out, I send it to my husband. Did you listen yet? He's like, not yet. I don't pester him about it as much as I used to, but um, he's really gotten a lot out of it too. And he's come home crying before, like, oh my gosh, this person's story, you know. So it's been very impactful for our relationship too, which is really cool.

Kim 1:05:15

Um, and I'm glad that you're honoring yourself now. That shows like you're truly honoring who you are, to just let all that go and be like, look, I'm just coming on here. This is a platform. This is a platform for women to come to and and just have discussion, which is so, so powerful. I mean, the rest of the day, I'm gonna we should have started this at like six o'clock in the morning because the rest of my day is gonna be so beautiful. We just set a beautiful intention, beautiful communication. I feel so close to you. I'm gonna think about you all day in this lovely podcast that you do. For real. You just set off like that cat. Cascade of good feeling hormones. I'm gonna start dancing. My favorite spot is the channel. I feel better when I'm dancing. Like, yeah, this is what you do. This is what the podcasts do for people.

unknown 1:06:13

Yeah.

Kim 1:06:14

So I want you to know that, yeah.

unknown 1:06:16

Yeah.

Valerie 1:06:16

That's the witnessing part. Like, if you I know I can hear conversations that other people have and go, huh, I didn't have language for that, but now I do. And now, or hearing you someone say something, you're like, oh my God, me too. I didn't know how to explain it. And that's like that's the beautiful part for me. And when I play them back and listen and put the show notes together and I work on that part, I'm like, I don't know where this creativity comes out, but it does. And it comes out, I feel like this is just a a creative expression for me. And I I do get some feedback that's like you should do this and you should do that and you shouldn't do that. And by the way, this sounded a little whatever, and I'm like, hmm, thank you for that. But I I don't, I know they're meaning to help, but it it's just funny because I think a year's past I would have taken that very personally, and I realize now like all is well, like this space is is for you, like it's for you, Kim, sitting across from me right now. Like I feel like we're in the same room.

Kim 1:07:18

So I feel like you make it so comfortable. I really do feel like the space is for me. Well, you do.

Valerie 1:07:27

That's really good. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that. Um, and since you said that, I'm just gonna say that I am gonna cheer you on in your journey.

Kim 1:07:38

Yeah, I want to steal that for my podcast. That's funny.

Creative Self Care And Daily Release

Valerie 1:07:50

It's really loud and it's long. I had to cut it off. Sorry, you guys. But it's just taking the moments to find some joy in life. And you said you love dancing. So um, before we wrap up, I want to ask you what are some things that you do for yourself now that you hold space and you you've you're on a healing path that has elevated your consciousness a little bit. How do you process things through? Because sometimes we hear heavy things and um, you know, they sit with us. So, how do you now, like, what's your process now for you personally to let go of things?

Kim 1:08:24

Yeah, I have to say I am so lucky to have found Dakota. Her and I talk about so much. And I feel like it's appropriate because we are the co-founders of something that is beautiful, but yes, can still be very heavy. So I am so grateful that her and I have that connection and that friendship because having somebody to talk about it um really helps to like the debriefing, de-escalating. It all just helps to make it to know that you know what, we're gonna continue, we're gonna keep going on. This is this is beautiful. We just have to release it now. So, yes, I dance a lot, I sing, I draw, I I am more of a creative outlet. Um, I don't tend to go towards exercise as much just because I used to be so extreme, so I have to be mindful. I do my hour of exercise in the morning, and that's that's all I get for it. Um, but I love to walk outside. Oh my gosh, I can walk forever being in the surrounded by like the beautiful sky and the trees and the mountains and listening to the birds and the smells and then watching the dogs, and yeah. So I have a lot of outlets, and I'm so proud of myself because they're not like those extreme outlets just being done for the wrong reasons. They are they're beautiful expressions of of me releasing, and that comes through so cool. Like my drawings and the book I'm writing, like it is just so much fun to watch me now. Where before I wasn't like that. So it is really fun to watch me.

Valerie 1:10:12

Oh, I love that. Gosh, now you've said two things. You said you love what you've been through, and it's fun to watch you. I love that so much.

Kim 1:10:20

It is fun to watch me.

Valerie 1:10:22

Yeah, and I I feel that. Like I feel the same way about myself, and I never thought to say it like that. Um, actually, this morning in my meditation, I was I was getting a little squirrely because sometimes you know that happens. Not every meditation is is but I was getting a little squirrely and I'm excited about some things coming up, and I was like kind of getting like 10 steps ahead of myself. I'm like, hold on, hold on, tiny dancer, come back to the, come back to what the breath, come back to where you are. And I remember just like for a moment, I kind of caught myself like smiling and chuckling, and I was like, I said to myself, this is kind of fun, like reeling myself back in. Cause I just know that I'm like a retriever, a golden retriever, like I gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta do this. And I just kind of pictured that and I I just laughed, like, oh yeah, no, I need to reel this back in. But that but it is fun, like when you can get on the other side of all the crappy things and and really have joy and peace in the moments, no matter what it is. Um, and sometimes that means releasing things that don't serve you. So I'm really excited to see where your journey takes you, and thank you for taking the time to

Finding Your Circle And Season Closing

Valerie 1:11:30

come on and share with us. If there's one thing you'd like the witnesses to take away to wrap up season two, what would you say?

Kim 1:11:41

Yeah, so for all the witnesses, I would say find yourself that circle of women that you can trust because it is just so unifying and safe. And like I was talking about before, when you can make that safe space, you can really become vulnerable and be who you are, which I think is one of the most amazing things in the world when you can really tap into who you are as a human because we're all here, we all have beautiful gifts to give to the world, and so finding that gift is so important.

Valerie 1:12:25

That's perfectly said. You got to find your people, and I have never said this um that I can remember, anyways, on any other episode, but ending season two. Um, I just want to put a call out there. If if you know somebody that might benefit from these conversations, please share and just share this podcast with them. And hopefully they'll connect with something and make their life just a little bit brighter. And also, if you want to share your story, it does not have to be beautiful, polished, and I'm on this other side of everything. If you're right in the thick of the spaghetti of it, like come on, we'll talk about it. Let's just talk about where you are. And I think people need to hear more real conversations like that. It's not always um, you know, I've been through the struggle and now I'm on the other side. Maybe you're still in the middle of the struggle, but I just want to invite you um to share this podcast with others. And if you are in a place where you feel like you might be ready to tell your story, give me a holler. I would love to have a conversation and see if it's a fit for us. But um, you're worthy of being witnessed, and I am just so thankful that you joined us for season two and that Kim kicked it um the door in for us to close it and just go into

Letting Go Exercise And Aftercare

Valerie 1:13:40

the next season, whatever that looks like. So, with that, witnesses for the last time for season two, we're gonna just take a moment, soak it all in, and we're gonna release it. So take a deep breath and blow it out and hold those palms up. Think about something that you'd like to let go of. Hold it loosely, push those palms up into the air and let it go. So proud of you. You did it. Thank you, Kim. Thank you, Val. Thank you for being here. If this conversation brought up difficult feelings, please take care of yourself in whatever way you need. I welcome you to carry forward what feels steady and release what isn't yours to hold. If additional support would feel helpful, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, a professional, or a resource in your community. Healing is not a straight line, and you do not have to journey this alone. If this space has been meaningful for you, you're welcome to reach out. And if listening quietly is what you need right now, that's enough. You're right where you're supposed to be. Thank you for witnessing with me today. And until next time, remember that you are love and worthy of being witnessed.