How to get brilliant at playing the business game

I'm sharing the five questions I come back to whenever my own business feels wobbly, or when I'm supporting coaches inside Ripen. They're not quick fixes or growth hacks. They're the questions that help you understand what's actually happening in your business, so you can stop catastrophising, start paying attention, and focus your energy where it will make the biggest difference.

Whether you're just getting started or you've been coaching for years, I hope this episode reminds you that building a business isn't about finding certainty. It's about becoming more adaptable. You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to keep asking better questions.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hello and welcome to Courage and Spice for Coaches, where you build your self-belief and your business in under 30 minutes a week. I'm Seth Etherick, your host. I'm a coach, supervisor, and unapologetic self-belief nerd. My mission is simple. I want your coaching practice to feel like a right fucking bitch. Let's go. Okay, do you know what is really freaking impressive about you? Is that you wake up every day with a requirement that you go out there and create interest in your client-centred offers, that you experiment wildly with marketing, figuring out what lands and getting comfortable with being visible day after day, and finding ways to reach your people and inviting them to come and work with you, but not too often and not too salesy. And you figure out the pricing and all the back-end systems to get the money from the clients to you in a pretty seamless way. And that's before you even have a warm five-dimensional human sitting across from you with all of their hopes and expectations and history and unmet longings. Like, I just want to take a moment to say, I'm so impressed by you. And like not knowing exactly how you're going to earn, how much you're going to earn this month, not knowing if the effort you're putting into your marketing is actually going to work, not knowing if more broadly your efforts are going to pay off long term, and still showing up consistently and doing it anyway. I think this is what it takes to get really brilliant at playing the business game. Most people want that success of what they imagine being a business owner looks like. They want what they see on the outside. But most of us, certainly me, find it pretty tricky to accept that it requires navigating so much self-doubt. And the weekends and evenings spent working, the brain space that this stuff takes up, the risk of failure, the heartbreaking moments where you put in a lot of effort and you don't see the results that you really wanted. And on top of this, we are doing work that you just can't phone in, right? We're helping people to make changes in their lives and create new outcomes and own who they're becoming and navigate the complexity of being alive right now. It's super stretchy, complex work. And this is also why I think this work attracts really incredible people. It's why I love surrounding myself with fellow self-employed coaches. I think the energy that we bring rubs off on each other. And I've just been thinking about this so much as I kind of celebrate being back in the UK, more coaches joining Ripen, a six-month-long summer. Hello, highly recommend. But all of the coaches that I'm working with are all at different places in their coaching journey and their career. I've just had a lift-off session this morning with Jen, who is just starting her practice, and Ursula, who joined last month, she's gone a couple of years up her sleeve. But what connects all of the coaches, I'm just so bloody grateful to support, is this deep desire to be of service, right? To create something that helps our fellow humans and to do it in a way that just feels really good to us. Frankly, I think this deserves a lot more recognition than we are able to give ourselves. I don't think we do this enough. I think HMRC should see us ticking the self-employed box and just send us a bloody cape. And I wanted to talk a bit more about this idea of playing the business game and getting really good at it. One of the biggest shifts for me has been realizing that I don't really own a business. And like every relationship, it keeps changing and evolving and growing as I get to know it. Some seasons it's asking me for a hell of a lot more courage, some for patience, sometimes it's asking me to simplify. Or if I'm honest, it's almost always asking me to simplify. We stay in relationship. And I think like that's kind of what we want, right? Like we want to do this meaningful, fulfilling work for the long term. Like to me, if if you have a business that sustains a life you love, that's the lottery win. Like, forget multi-six figures, you know, or the Empire Building Quantum Leap Brigade. Like, sod that. I just want a business that fills me up. And I think one of the things that I really love about my business these days is I'm so clear on what enough looks and feels like for me. And I get to pull the levers to create every penny of that. Like learning how to play the business game, it's where it's at. So I just wanted to say if you're doubting yourself if things aren't going away, if maybe the first half of 2026 hasn't quite shaken out the way you'd hoped, or maybe you've had a cracking result and now you're wondering, did I just get lucky? I just want you to know that learning how to play the business game is such a great skill for you to learn because you deserve a business that supports you as much as you support your beloved clients. Like that's kind of my mission here. So I imagine you are listening as you sit at your kitchen table or take a walk around the park with your pup and you're going, okay, sounds good, but how? Right? And I got you. I I wanted to talk about like five really great questions I would love you to ask yourself to get to a place to help you to get to a place. Like the aim here is to get you to that place where you are so freaking stoked to be running your business, where you're growing in the right places and you can see progress, and the whole thing just feels steadier. All right, because I genuinely think that asking yourselves better questions is the way in. Okay, so the first question of five this is the most important one. What is the problem that your coaching solves? Like, this is truly the gold. I want you to get really, really good at answering this question because it unlocks everything. Like, can you articulate this clearly and simply? Is this a huge part of your marketing? Right? Because if you can say, hands down, I for sure solve the problem that someone actually needs solved, and I'm really good at communicating that, great, you're on your way. And if not, this is the first thing to fix, right? Like, don't do anything else before you answer this question. What is the problem that your coaching solves? And look, I would say this is probably for many of us the hardest question to answer. But that's why I'm asking it first. So let that mull over. I want you to listen to the whole podcast and then come back and do this as a bit of an exercise. That's how I'd suggest you do this. But what is the problem that your coaching solves? I just want to say for anyone who's going, I don't I don't actually know, or I think it's a really beige answer, or I just sound like every other coach, or I'm gonna waffle on for eight minutes and tell you the problem that my coaching might solve. Like, that's me, I'm the last one, overcomplicating everything. But really committing to answering this question, and look, you may need some help to do that. I know I certainly did, and I know that's one of the core reasons that people say they join Ripen, is they want that clarity on what is it that I'm actually freaking doing here, right? So just know that this can be the hardest question, and it's so worth putting your heart into answering. Okay, number two, is your coaching offer designed around the outcome your client wants? Right, and this can be a bit uncomfortable because we tend to build offers around what we love, right? We build them around our certifications, our favorite coaching tools, or the way we like to work. But here's the thing I just really cannot say enough. Our clients don't buy coaching, they just don't. They don't really care how qualified you are or what modalities you're trained in. What they really care about and what they're buying is what they hope coaching will make possible. So the outcomes of the coaching, what happens as a result of working with you, that's what your clients want. And remember, our job is to create the conditions for our clients to create the outcomes they want, right? So, so our clients aren't buying coaching, they're buying clarity and self-belief and a deepening of their leadership, uh, career change, an evolving sense of self, healthier relationships, a business that finally works, a life that finally feels more like their own, right? What actually happens in as a result of the coaching, your offer should be 100% centered around helping someone achieve their outcome. That doesn't mean promising certainty, right? It just means every element of your offer has a reason for being there because it's in service of the client's outcomes. This is the first thing to look at if you aren't getting sales, right? So you might have answered um question number one, you know the problem your coaching solves. But if your offer isn't generating sales, right? If you're not getting queries working with you, or people are landing on your page but they're not buying, that's the thing to look at is your offer designed around the outcome your client wants? This is what I mean by creating a client-centered offer. It's the kind of first thing we do in Ropen. Number three, are enough people actually hearing about your work? Right, and I know this one can feel pretty annoying because the internet is noisy and social media can feel like a bit of a bin fire. And you know, then there's Substack or YouTube or LinkedIn, alongside the kind of usual suspects of socials, a podcast perhaps. But the reality is, right, enough people need to hear about your work. People can't work with a coach they've never heard of, right? So sometimes the problem isn't actually your coaching, it isn't your offer, it's just maths. And this is something I have always and continue to resent, right? But the question, am I posting enough? Am I am I doing enough? Am I showing up online? All of that is noise, right? Ask yourself, you know, are enough people actually hearing about your work? Are you creating enough opportunities for people to discover how you help? Because we have to put in the reps, like not just posting once, but consistently sharing your ideas, your voice, your vibes, and this ongoing warm invitation to work together, right? Marketing is an a never-ending conversation. And what I often see is that our fear of judgment gets promoted to head of marketing, right? So we we post once, no one comments, and we decide that was rubbish. We send an email and imagine everyone rolling their eyes, or we tell ourselves we're being repetitive, too much, too salesy, too visible, blah. But visibility isn't just about being seen, right? It's about staying in the conversation long enough for trust to grow, right? For familiarity to start to feel like safety for the client. This is the boring crucial truth. And you're gonna know if you aren't being as visible as you could be. I would say commit to just one place and show up there, right? Choose obviously where your clients are likely to be and talk about the outcomes that you help your clients achieve. Talk about the problem that your coaching solves, see how you need to answer those questions first before the marketing gets, you know, useful. But I do think that's the order we do things in, right? We get really clear about what is the problem our coaching solves, and how does our coaching help our clients, like the outcomes that we can help our clients create, and then we go out and market it so that we know who we're talking to and what we're talking about and who we're trying to attract in, and there is an offer there already for them to join, to participate in, right? Which brings me to question four: Do you know what's already working? And this might be my favorite question because I think it can really change how you relate to your business. I think most of us are pretty bad at noticing what's actually working. Like we're pretty good at spotting the things that aren't going well, but your business is constantly giving you feedback. Like, pay attention every time someone replies to your newsletter, that's working, right? Every client who says, Oh, that really landed, or they take action in a way that you know they're making progress, that's what's working, right? Every referral, every discovery call that feels a bit easier, every post that gets shared, right? Every client who stays on for another round, that is all data that's telling you this is working. And I would say if you are just starting out, is this working might not actually be that helpful a question to ask yourself, right? Especially if you don't have much data yet. You're probably not looking at website analytics or open rates. And I think that the temptation when you're starting is to interpret the absence of lots of clients as evidence that nothing is working. But remember, paying clients come last, right? So instead of focusing on that as your sole indicator of what's working, just ask yourself where is the energy here, right? Energy in you. Notice your own excitement, energy in your ideas, in the conversations you're having it you're having. Where is the energy? Like stay tuned to the tiny moments that tell you you're heading in the right direction. Like it can, I think the first maybe hundred hours of client work, the first year of a of a practice, you feel a bit like you're following a breadcrumb trail, and sometimes you kind of lap loop back on yourself. But pay attention, learn quickly, keep building on what's creating even the smallest amount of momentum. Because, like wherever you are in your business journey, like when you start paying attention, you start to see patterns, right? Oh, people really resonate with me when I tell stories, or my newsletter consistently gets feedback, like there are conversations I could be having, or everyone who gets on a call with me is signing up, and suddenly you you start to see, oh, I this isn't guesswork anymore, this is evidence. I th I think that's really one of the most useful skills you can develop is learning to amplify what's already creating momentum. So many of us, me included, we spend a lot of time chasing the next shiny strategy when often the biggest opportunity is inside something that's already working pretty well. So, you know, instead of like, oh, what's the answer? What's the one thing I'm not doing, right? Ask yourself what already seems to be creating trust, what already feels alive, what already helps people say yes, right? I think one of the things that growing a business really asks of us is to develop discernment, right? To be willing to look honestly at what's not working, what is working, and kind of trusting yourself to respond, to not sort of decide dramatically, oh, it must be this. But we actually need some information, some data to make decisions often. And I think as well, like focusing on what's going well can be an enormous boost to you as the person in charge of it. But also businesses grow really well when we stop reinventing them every month, when we keep building on our strengths incrementally. I know, and you know people that you've probably seen around the internet over the years who always seem to be reinventing themselves. Every six months they come back with a new Instagram handle, or you know, they turn their hand to something new. And these are the people that call themselves multi-passionate. And some of them. I'm j joshing a little bit, right? But I think sometimes that can also disguise uh a real lack of discernment and trust in what you're building. It's like I'm just gonna keep, you know, it's like a pinball machine of a business where you're just trying to reach the next thing to keep you from kind of falling down the hole. But I don't think that's sustainable. And and if I know you and me, that's what we're about. Okay, so the final question: where am I looking for certainty instead of just taking the next brave step? Right? This is one I come back to again and again. I think once the foundations are there, the thing that slows most coaches down is usually not strategy, it's a it's the waiting to feel ready, right? Waiting until the website is perfect, until the offer feels extraordinary, until you've got the qualification that helps you feel legit, until you figured it all out. Or I really understand this truly. Like you're listening to someone who has two certifications and a master's degree in coaching, and that's what it took for me to feel legit. I and we tell ourselves we're being thoughtful or responsible or strategic, right? Like, I think sometimes that waiting feels like a noble thing, but often if we get super honest with ourselves, we're just trying to protect ourselves from the vulnerability of being seen before we feel ready. And the thing is, like, certainty is a bit of a myth, it's pretty amorphous. There's no point in your business where you're gonna suddenly wake up and go, I've cracked it, I know exactly what to do forever now, right? That's just not how this works. Markets are changing, you change, your clients change, your understanding deepens. Every single thing is temporary, everything is evolving. I mean, that's to me the sign of it working, which means that the real skill that our businesses are asking for from us isn't about, you know, unshakable confidence, it's adaptability, right? The number one skill of a business owner isn't getting it right first time, it's being willing to experiment, to notice and learn and iterate and take the next step and see what happens, right? You don't build self-belief before you take action, you build it because you keep taking brave action. And so if you're building a coaching practice for the long haul, this is the work, right? We gotta get good at playing the business game. You'll launch things that need improving, you'll write emails that don't quite land, you'll have conversations that teach you something you could not have learned by imagining them in your head. None of this is evidence that you're failing, it's evidence that you're in business, you're doing it, right? You're doing all the things that require are required of you. So I would just say don't focus too much on getting it right, on feeling certain, on feeling super confident. Focus on loving your clients more than your own discomfort. Because every time you choose courage over certainty, you make it a little bit easier for the people who are looking for your coaching right now. They're all on Chat GPT going, How do I do this? They are actively seeking you out, millions of them right now. And the coaches who build sustainable businesses aren't the ones who get it right first time. I don't I don't know any of those people, right? There are other ones that just become adaptable, that keep moving, keep learning how to play the game when the rules are always changing. And you know, I was thinking about this because I heard this quote from Jimmy Carr. He's a pretty acerbic UK comedian. And he's also, I think, quite smart. And he was saying something about everybody wants the prize, but nobody wants the process. You know, people want the six-pack, but they don't want the diet, they want the business, but they don't want the you know the experimentation, they want the outcome, but they don't want what it takes to get there. And I think so many people want the freedom that comes from running a business and doing meaningful, fulfilling work, but very few people want the responsibility, right, that comes with it. And it might be because I'm so bloody unemployable at this point, but honestly, I would take the unpredictability of business every single time over slow career progression of most professions, right? I'd way rather the uncertainty of business than the certainty of most careers. I'd rather take a risk on something that could be incredible than be certain that something will be predictably quite the same for years and years and years. Like to me, I'm only getting one life in this incarnation. So it's not even a consideration. Like, I'm so bloody clear about how I want to live it. And I know so many coaches who feel that way too. Like, we want to embrace life and milk the shit out of it, right? And part of that is why we're attracted to this slightly risky but mad thing of running a business. I think one of the things I wish I had known way back when I was starting out was I didn't have to do it all alone. I didn't have to do this incredibly complex thing of trying to um muddle along and cobble together something that I thought was a business before I really even knew what I was doing. So I think success significantly improved and was faster and better and just more likely, right? Because I had the right support behind me. And I think having someone who is deeply committed to you and to your goals, showing you maybe where to put focus your efforts, asking you good questions so you can find the answers, right? That's the work I just feel so excited about right now. I genuinely believe that there has never been a greater demand for one-to-one coaching. I think it is absolutely where the industry is going increasingly. And I think to build that and to be supported to build that is where it's at. So look, if that sounds like something you want to build, you want to learn how to play the business game, I want you to click on the ripen link in the show notes and fill out the five-minute application form. You and I will get together and have a chat about how to do this, what help you might need, how I might be able to support you. If I don't think it's right for you, or if I think that there might be another program out there that's better suited, I'll of course send you in their direction. Kind of know everyone at this point, um, but I want you to know that the business you're dreaming of is not as far away as you probably imagine. Even if you've tried stuff in the past and you, you know, you've convinced yourself that it's is too hard and maybe you're just not cut out for that. I'd love for you to have a convers I'd love to have a conversation with you. Have an amazing week. I'll see you next time.