The Greater Journey: Stories of Transformation with Gregory Rutledge

Forged in the Fire: CJ C Boyd on Reinvention, Resilience, and Rising After Ruin

• Gregory Rutledge • Season 1 • Episode 6

Share episode

When life knocked her down—hard—CJ C Boyd didn’t rise from the ashes.
She was forged in the fire.

In this powerful episode of The Greater Journey Podcast, Gregory Rutledge sits down with CJ C Boyd—founder of Queen by Design and host of Awaken the Warrior—to unpack what it really means to rebuild after loss.

After losing her children, her marriage, and her café, CJ had every reason to quit. Instead, she discovered the warrior within. 

Together, Gregory and CJ explore:
 🔥 How to unlearn the “rules and roles” that keep women small.
 🔥 Why the fire doesn’t destroy—it refines.
 🔥 How faith and identity intersect in reinvention.
 🔥 The power of charging for transformation (not validation).
 🔥 Why authenticity after 50 might be your greatest advantage.

If you’ve ever felt forgotten, overlooked, or underestimated, this episode will remind you of one truth:
 You were never meant to rise quietly. You were meant to be forged greater.


Real, raw, hard- 

All right.Welcome to The gr- You know what?That's the wrong intro.That's cool.We'll do it again.

Welcome to The Greater Journey.I'm your host, Gregory Rutledge, author of From Waiter to Greater, and creator of the Greater Framework.As you know, on this show, all we do is, you know, interview our guests and help to express the messy middle, not the highlight reels, of what it takes to become an entrepreneur, so stories of transformation.And every conversation follows the Greater Framework.If you wanna know what that Greater Framework is, grab the book, but my goal is to uncover those moments that made my guests greater, so that you can find the courage to step boldly into your own journey.

So let's jump in.Ooh, I love this intro.It is my favorite.All right, let's get it.So today's episode, we have CJ Cebuoy, who is a woman on a mission to help every woman on the planet unearth her truth lying dormant beneath, buried beneath decades of rules and roles and unwritten expectations, so that she can empower her to monetize those truths to build a legacy that her kids will be proud to inherit.And I know it is written in the, in the word, uh, uh, a good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children, and I, I don't believe that just goes for men.No.Absolutely not.N- not these days.

So CJ, queen by design, fuck yes after 50, excuse my French, but sometimes it's needed.Yeah.You know?So tell me, y- you're, you're here now as an entrepreneur, but I know there's a story that led up to this, and that's what I wanna hear today.All right.So, um, I always was a girl who, like, tamped myself down.I was like, "I don't wanna be in the front lines.I'll do everything behind the scenes.I don't want my name out there.I don't want the accolades.I'll just jump through hoops and make everybody else look good.

"Um, and that worked for me during school, and, you know, I did all the things and I followed all the rules and I got married and I had a couple kids, and then life kicked me in the teeth and I ended up losing everything, including my 2 children, um- Hmm.to a man who was very violent, but had money, and I literally left with nothing but the clothes on my back, moved to another state.Um, I did have contact with my children, but I was not allowed to take them because the court system, you know, was all about the money at the point, that point in time.So I kinda felt like, you know, I needed to reinvent myself.And so- Wow.I spent, you know, a lotta time, like, reawakening the warrior within me, because as a kid I was fearless.I could do anything.

I could accomplish anything.I could, you know, write and draw and I won all kinds of awards and I did all these amazing things.And I, I lost her, because I thought, you know- Mm.you're supposed to get married.You're supposed to have kids.This person's supposed to take care of you.They're supposed to complete you, make you happy, you know, fulfill the void and all the things, and that wasn't the case in my book.So, I spent, uh, probably a decade trying to awaken the warrior deep within, and so I did that, and I decided who I was gonna be, but it was still, was tamped down.It wasn't quite, "This is the person you're meant to be.This is who you're called forth to be," that was kinda like, "Still follow the rules.Still, like, you know, speak the way that you're supposed to be."People have these expectations of what you're supposed to be or what you can accomplish or how you should act, how you should dress, all the things.And for me, it was, um, more of the same.Hmm.And so, I did end up, you know, I got married and I had 3 more children.I, uh, took on 2 of his children, so I've, I've birthed 5 babies - 

Wow.and I feel like that is, that's- That's awesome.That's like the greatest gift on the face of the planet.Mm-hmm.And I prided myself with, you know, teaching my children, you know, be good people, be good humans, help other people, do these things.You know, and I always told my children, "Go big or go home."And for me, I wasn't living that.And so, long story short, um, my husband and I were married for 21 years, and then life kicked me in the teeth again, and in a- Oh my goodness.timeframe of 3 months, my youngest of 7 left for the military, so I was no longer a hands-on, full-time, 24/7 mom.

My marriage of 21 years imploded, because I expected him to complete me and I was carrying all this baggage from before, never healed through that, never figured out that I have to come whole and complete to- Hmm.2 people to come together.Yeah.Um, and I also, um, lost my cafe.I had built a cafe from the ground up, no bank backing, no anything, not even really a business plan, but it was like- Wow."I can do this."This is my goal.This has always been my lifelong dream.And when I was a kid, my mom bartended and cooked at a restaurant and I waitressed, and I was like, "Okay, this is what I wanna do.I wanna ha- leave something, but I wanna incorporate my mom," 'cause my mom passed away of stage 4 lung cancer.And so everything in my cafe was her, her recipes, her comfort food.So I kinda, like, wrapped all my customers in a warm hug, s- serving them, you know, my mom's recipes.

So all that thing, all those things happened and those 3 things, like, really kicked me in the teeth, and I was like, "Oh my God, what am I gonna do now?"And so, you know, with pandemic, I was like, "Okay, I have 2 choices.I can either embrace the power of the pivot or I can, you know, fe- lay in the corner in fetal position and become just another statistic of circumstance and use that as my excuse-" Hmm." to why my cafe went to hell and why I have nothing left in my life," you know?Hmm.And that wasI was 48 at the time and I was like, "You've never really sat with yourself.In 48 years, you've never really sat with yourself and said, 'Who are you as a woman?' First and foremost, who is CJ?"Wow.I had all these expectations.You're supposed to be a good mom, you're supposed to be a good wife.You're supposed to do this.

This is what you can wear, this is how you can talk, this is what you're supposed to talk about.All these rules, and roles, and unwritten expectations.How the heck dodoes anybody live up to that if you don't know who you are at the soul?Right.So that was, like, my coming to Jesus meeting-I like to call it.And I- Wow.you know, I have so many women that I talk to and they're like, "Well, you were forged, or you rose from the fire, you rose from the ashes."And I'm like, "No.I was forged in the fire."The fire shaped me.The fire made me strong.I'm strong as steel because I went through that fire.I didn't rise from anything.I chose to recreate myself.Mm.This is so good, girl.

I, I'm surprised, we've known each other so long-and this is the first time I'm hearing the full story.And it's just incredible.I know there's some women that are listening right now that are just like, "Wow, me too."Right?Are, are, like, they canThey have permission now- Right.to reinvent themselves and stop playing by these rules, roles, and false expectations that are placed on them by who knows who, right?Exactly.So in, in this journey, I'm hearing a lot of the letters from the greater framework, resilience being, like, the number one.And there had to be a, a, a mindset reframe here.Like, and, and there's a lot of learning, and not learning, like, in theory, from a book, but really learning by being in those trenches.So I'm gonna ask this for, for the women that are listening that are like, "But how, CJ?How did you do that?Like, how can I do that?"

What, who or what taught you the biggest lesson on this journey?I think, honestly, for me, it was my mom.Like, watching my mom never live her dream, never go out and say, "This is who Cheral is.This is what Cheral wants of her life."I always watched my mom scrimp and save.My parents got divorced when I was 14.My dad beat the hell out of my mom and me.Mm-hmm.MyI have 3 brothers, didn't touch them.And I watched my mom, like, jump through hoops to make him happy and toDinner's on the table at a certain time, all the kids are well-behaved, you know?Mm-hmm.From the outside looking in, my parents coached Little League Baseball and it was like D- Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

My dad would take everybody on the team out for ice cream.When we got home, my dad turned into this man that you could not even fathom he was capable of being.And so I watched my mom deal with that, and then I lived out my life trying to be like, "I need to protect my mom.I need to make sure she's okay.I need to mother her and do the things"I just remember laying in bed and I was praying, "Life would be so much better if he just wasn't here."Mm-hmm.And, like, within 48 hours, he left.Like, he got in his car and he took off, and he was gone.And so that stuck with me.When I was going through all these things, I'm thinking, "I need to live my life to leave a legacy for my daughters that they're proud to inherit, that they're not, like, embarrassed."

Like, "Why thedid Mom not step up and stand up for herself?""Why did Mom not do"You know, Mom's speaking, telling us, "Go big or go home.Do this, do that.Never let anybody tamp you down.Never let anybody tell you what to do."But I was like, "I'm giving lip service to the things that I want my daughter tomy daughters to, you know, embody, and embrace, and be self-sufficient, and have that self-belief, and that courage to say, 'No.I don't need somebody telling me what to do.I can do it on my own.If I want your help, I'll ask for it, but you're not gonna tell me what to do.'" 

And so that, for me, was like, my mom, watching her be likeAnd God love her.My mom- Right.was a great woman, had great work ethic- ethic, becauseBut she could not, like, stand up for herself to save her life, period.Mm-hmm.And I, I mean that in the most loving way.Like, even in the end, in her death, on her deathbed, she was like, "I have to stay here for you kids.""We're grown adults.You're dying."Mm-hmm."Your pacemaker's going off.It's, it's bringing you back to life when your, your body is telling you that's enough is enough."And I'm like, "You just got to let go."So, so to watch that- Mm-hmm.

I wanted to raise my girls and my children with, you know, the self-confidence, the courage, the self-belief, and the attitude of, "I can do anything I put my mind to and nothing's gonna stop me," because I did not ever watch my mom- Hmm.do that or say that my entire life.Man, that is so beautiful, living by example, being a living example.This is like the embodiment of be the change you wanna see in the world.Like we hear it all the time, but it's, it's a cute little quip, right?It's a cute quote, but like what does that look like in practice?

It looks like being the person thatLike, 'cause, uh, how manyI, I know, I know there's, there's people out here that, that their parents ha- uh, the people that are watching, whose parents have told them, "Don't do this, don't do that."But all they see is their parents doing this thing.Like, for example, "Don't lie."Right?And then someone calls on the phone-remember landlines?And it's like, "Tell them I'm not here."Well, now I just learned- Yeah.how to lie for you.So why not lie for me?Right?Right.So I'm, I'm a big advoc- advocate for community.And I know that these kind of changes are really hard to make on your own, so I have to ask, whoAnd, and this is for those of you that are out there, like, who helped her through?how did she do this?I know she didn't do it alone, so who empowered you when you couldn't see it in yourself?And the second part of the question will be, how do you empower others now?Honestly, the, the thing that s- flipped the switch for me was being in my Bible.Mm-hmm.Like, going to scripture and being like, okay, he didn't create me for all this hurt and this sorrow and this crap that I've created in my own life.He created me for a purpose.

And, you know, I spent that whole time being like, "What about me?What about me?What about me?What was me?What was me?What was me?"When I realized that he made me for a purpose so much bigger than me and I stopped being selfish and making it about me.It's my, my purpose, my calling is to show other women what's possible.My mission is to be the voice for the women who haven't found their voice yet.Mm-hmm.And I, I get really emotional about it.When I had my cafe, I haveI live in a really small town, like 862 people, but there's like 7 churches in the area.And all the pastors would come in and I, I ha- I had my King James Bible-bi- bi- bible on the counter- Mm-hmm.in my cafe, and they'd be like, what is that you got there?"And I'd be like, "My bible."I'm in this.When there's nobody in here, I'm in here, because this is feeding me spiritually.This building andis feeding me financially and food and paying the bills, but this is what, this is what matters.Mm-hmm.

And my kids would always laugh and they'd be like, "Mom, you're like the pastor whisperer," 'cause all these pastors would come in and we would talk scripture.Yeah.And I would surprise myself and be like, "I can, you know, talk scripture then."And they would be like, "We would never imagine that coming from a small town little girl like you."Mm-hmm.And that, it just made me feel so good that I wasn't giving lip service to my love for my creator.Mm-hmm.And I wasn't giving lip service to the calling that I know he created me for.I don't wanna be that person who wastes the vessel that he gave me to be that light for somebody else.That's so powerful.I'm, I'm just stuck on the one thing you said that just likeI can't get past this.A pastor would come in, into your cafe, and see a Bible sitting on the counter and ask you what it was?Well, they didn't expect it 'cause i- I don't go to a physical church.Yeah.They, none of them had ever seen me in their service.So they were like- Mm-hmm.they would be like, "Oh, we're gonna pray.Do you mind if we pray?"

And I'd be like, "Yeah."And then I would be like, "All right.putting my bible on the edge of the counter here.I got this."And it was just one of those things where I feel like every single pastor that came in there gave me a gift that needed to be opened- Mm-hmm.a little bit more so I had better understanding.So not only for myself, but when other people were in a space where they needed a scripture or they needed, you know, that thing that was gonna make them be like, "Okay, today's gonna be okay."But I was able to do that.That encouragement.That's so beautiful.And there's something else you said that, that I want to, to touch on, is you said gift.Like your gift, the vessel thatThe gift that was in your vessel to, to bring to the world.Have you ever noticed that the gift you have to give other people is the gift you cannot give yourself?Yeah, yeah.So I'm sorry to hear you lost your cafe.You know, I was a barista and every time I hear you say tamp down, I think of the- The coffee?

Yeah, the espresso shots.So I'm like, "Yeah, she was a barista too."Yes, she was.Um, uh, on that topic of, of the cafe, in such a small town, to have 7 churches in a town of 862 people- Uh-huh.it's like 100 people per church and it's like, "I don't like you.I'm gonna go start my own church," right?Yeah, kind of, kind of like that.Right?I mean, that's, that's it.In, in AA we had this, this saying that if you don't likeOr no, it was NA.If you don't like a meeting, all you need is a coffee pot and a resentment.Yeah.And you can start a meeting, right?Yeah.And now it's like all you need is a stage and a resentment to start a church, right?Exactly.So, uh, now that- That would do.So now that you, you know, you don't have a cafe, I know this, but I know there's someone listening that doesn't know you, they need to know.How do you empower others now?Like, what's your vessel?What's your medium?Well, I, I jumped into the online space because I was like, "Okay, everybody else is doing it.Why can't I?

I should be able to figure this out, right?"Right.But I jumped into the online space without the mindset, without the courage, without the ability to know that my desperation was just going to breed desperation in everybody that came to me, was just in the same woes, desperation as me.Mm.And so I word vomited and I complained and I harbored all this ill will, and I was like, "Poor me.I'm gonnaOh, the victim.Wah."You know?And what I got was a lot more women.And finally I was like, "What the heck are you doing?You're surrounding yourself with people who areYou know, it's like we're having this contest to see who has the worst life.There, there's no like prize or trophy at the end, so why are you wasting your breath doing that?"And then I, I just, I literally sat and I'm like, "Okay, there's gotta be something bigger.There's gotta be something more than this."

And I, I met this woman online and she was kind of like this train wreck where she was like, "Oh my god, I'm bigger than life and I'm taboo and I'm this and I'm that."And it's like, I want what she's got.You know, that Harry Met Sally scene where they're just like, "I want what she's ha- having."Yes.It was kinda like that.I was like, "Oh, I have to see, I have to go and see what she's talking about today."And that was like all these taboo things, and I was like, train wreck.Okay, I don't wanna know.Oh wait, I gotta see, I gotta see what's going on today.And then I was like-she is talking about all the stuff that you are learnyou have learned your whole life is not supposed to be talked about, is not supposed to be the thing.It, that's all fleshly and that's all like, just not the right thing.And so I was like, "Okay, you can do this and you could build a business, but you can do it in a way that's not, you know, sensationalism or whatever you wanna call it.

"Not like, um, doing it in a wrong way.Not attracting attention in the wrong way.And so I, I had this opportunity come before me where I could be a TV show host on Phoenix TV.Mm-hmm.I met some women who I'm no longer associated with because they're not in integrity with really empowering women, and that's, I s- I'm a hard stand for no.Mm.But it gave me the opportunity to have my own show called Awaken the Warrior, and I interviewed men and women who have been through this crap.And it was like, I wanted to interview them and tell their stories, but not to sensationalize what they've been through, but to say here was the moment, rock bottom moment, where they didn't wanna go on anymore and they had that thing that was like tapping them, awaken the warrior inside them, and then how they did it.What were the tools that they used to bring themselves back to life?

To breathe life back into their life?Mm.And so that was really amazing.I did that for a year and then I was like, "There's, it's bigger.There's something more.There's something bigger out there.It's not supposed to be at just awaken the warrior."It's like that's when I started Queen by Design.Like, everybody inside has this queen.Now that we've tapped in and awoken her, what are we gonna do with her?what are we gonna do with her?How are we gonna build her courage?How are we gonna give herself permission to say yes to herself and to really go out and do the things that they wanna do?And so, I started in the space and I was coaching, but I wasn't charging anybody.I was like, literally women would come to me, "Hey, I wanna pick your brain.Hey, let's mastermind.Hey, let's collaborate."And it's like, okay.And that was great, and that fed me because I was like, "I'm helping people, I'm helping people, I'm helping people."But then it's like, you're helping people but you're not really helping them.You're telling them how to help themselves.They're not doing what you're telling them.

They wanted to pick your brain and they got it for free, and now it's like, I've had conversations with some of those women.And just last week, and I was like, "What's changed since we talked 4 years ago?"She's like, "Well, nothing."I said, "Why hasn't it changed?""Well, because I don't haveI can't, I can't, I can't."Or this, or he, or it, or she.No, it's you.You're the reason nothing's changed, because you didn't give yourself permission to do it.You didn't lay that brick down- Mm-hmm.solid foundation and go, "Enough's enough.I'm done being a victim.I'm done playing this woe is me crap.I'm gonna stand up and I'm gonna do something that's meant for me, but it's gonna change everybody who comes into contact with me."And I always tell people, you're that handful of pebbles.You throw it into the water, you don't see anything happen.

They fall to the bottom, but you don't realize they're rippling out, rippling out, rippling out.Mm-hmm.You know, building those waves.Those waves eventually comes, become tsunamis, and that's what, that's what I want.I want to be that handful of pebbles tossed in the water- Mm-hmm.that ripples out and becomes a wave and a tsunami.And people are like, "Okay.Whoa.Wait a minute.We're forever changed because CJ took the time and had a conversation with us.We're forever changed because CJ helped us bui- build our courage and our self-belief that we can do absolutely anything we wanna do if we make the decision and we're intentional and we're integrity and we say yes to ourselves."on, girl.You better say this louder for the people in the back.Yes.Absolutely.Oh, man.So good.I d- w- wow.Just incredible.And I, I love that you you touched on the, you know, "I, I'm helping people, I'm helping people.Yay.It's working."Right?But they're not helping themselves and they're not helping you, 'cause- No.when you don't pay, you don't pay attention.And so, yeah.

I can give you all this stuff for free, but if you don't value itYou know, they say, i- it says in the word that your, your, where your heart is, or where your treasure is, there your heart will also be.Mm-hmm.And so you have to charge people to get their heart in it, because if I didn't have to sacrifice my money to learn something, then I won't sacrifice to make it happen.It's just more information.And information overload, man.Like I, I can learn all day, but if I don't apply it, it's just knowledge.It's when it's applied that it becomes wisdom, right?Absolutely.So on the topic of learning, what failure became your best classroom?Oh, she, she's got a story.I could see it.Oh.There's so many to choose from.Let me think.I'll just pick.You know, I, I guess- Did you hear that?She said there's so many to choose from.So that means that this path to entrepreneurship is lined with failure.Yeah.And I think, you know, people say, "Failure's not an option," or, "Failure's a bad thing."That's complete bull.Failure is the thing that teaches you the lesson to say, "I don't wanna do that again.I don't wanna put myself in that position again.I don't wanna stand for that.I don't wanna l- allow that.

"I think the thing for me, honestly, getting divorced the first time- Mm-hmm.leaving an abusive relationship, coming back home to my hometown where he still lives- Hmm.and walking through on the streets and having people look at me and judge me and say things about me, and I'm like, "You didn't live my life.You see things through rose-colored glasses."I'm gonna hold my head high because I know who I am.I know what I've done.I know what, what happened.And for that, that's been my biggest lesson, to not let anybody else's opinion taint you.To not let anybody else's opinion change you at your soul, at your core.If you know who you are at your core, what your purpose is, what your values are, what your integrity is, what you will stand for, what you won't stand for, nobody can shake that.You have to build that so unbelievably solid that nobody can rock your world unless you- Mm-hmm.say that they can.You give that power away.And so for me, it was like, I lost everything.I lost my children.

Yeah.And to come, come home and be in a townI'm, I mean, my daughter came and lived with me after I moved back, but to be in a town where everybody's, "Pfft, I can't believe she's here.Oh my God, did you, did you s-" You can't touch me- Mm-hmm.because I know who I am and I know what I lived through and what I almost didn't live through.Mm-hmm.You know, people's judgmentsAnd it, it really taught me the lesson to not be judgmental of other people.Mm-hmm.Like, I used to goYou know, I, I gave birth to 5 children.My body's not like this amaze- amazing thing.And I'd walk by women and I'd be like, "That bitch never bore no babies."Okay.Whoa.Wait.Who are you to judge?You don't know.And then I've met people- Right.who are like, "Yeah, I just gave birth, you know, 6 weeks ago to my 6th kid," and I was like looking at her going, "Holy crap, how'd you do that?"And it's like-to really just own who you are and not judge other people because you don't know who you're walking by.You don't know what they went through.And I always taught my children, like, be nice to the kid in school who's sitting at the lunch table by himself.You don't know what happened when he got out of bed this morning.He could've just got bad news his mom died.You know?Yeah.His parents could be going through a divorce.You don't know.

Be the kid who, you know, the bullies are coming by and knocking the books out of his hand.You be the kid that picks up those books and carries the books and be that person that says, "You know what?It's okay."Because one day you're gonna be that person and somebody's gonna have a day and that could be the day that they're contemplating taking their own life.And because you took a second and you said, "Hey, have a good day," or you smiled or you said, "Hey, are you doing okay today?"you might be the reason that that person decides to stay on this Earth.So never judge anybody else.

Oh my gosh, CJ.That's, that's so powerful because, you know, I, I think, I think it's people like us, you know, that are, that are called to empower and encourage that typically were those people that picked up the books and- Yeah.and stood up to the bullies, because I know I was.Yeah.And like, I couldn't understand how like, the jocks and the people that played football, like, they would just tease all the, the, the people that were weaker.And it's like, even in that situation, now looking back, I could've gives- given some grace because that, that's probably how their parents treated them with sports, right?Right.You are our cash cow.Like, you are going to make us money.That's, that's typically what it is.And so now they've got this pressure and they're just doing what's been done to them.So yes, absolutely offering grace because you never know.Yeah.You never know where someone's been or what, what they're going through or what they're contemplating doing, right?We see all these school shootings and it's like, it starts somewhere, right?

Man, just- Yeah.your, your principles, your values, the, the integrity, the, the heart behind what it is you do.That takes a lot of courage, and you kept saying it, at your core, right?The root word in courage is cor, cor, which is heart.And really courage is just, just the ability to live from the heart.And I think so many times what we're doing is we're trying to s- we're trying to suppress what's inside of us that's, that's been called to come out.And if we just did that without the fear of judgment, without the need for validation, what world would we be living in?Ooh.Amazing.I used to, when you were saying that, it just, it really landed and it made me very emotional because, ooh, everybody would always say, "You wear your heart on your sleeve.You need to grow thicker skin.You need to be tougher.You need to, you need to, you need to."

And I'm like, "No, my heart on my sleeve is my greatest gift."Absolutely.I will wear that with a badge- like a badge of courage.Yeah.Because that's what it's supposed to be.That's what humanity's supposed to be like.mean, it, it's, it'sYou can have all of the things in the world but without love it's, it's nothing,Man, this, IDidn't know what you were in for, did you?I didn't.I didn't.Um, and, and I'm so grateful that we fin- Do you know how long we've been planning this?I know.And like, keep missing each other and it's like, but why?It needed to happen when it needed to happen.

Right.Divine timing.Amen.God kisses.So in, in being that, that person that stands in the gap for these women that, that can't or think they can't stand up and be themselves, was there a moment where you yourself felt overlooked or underestimated?I think a lot of people underestimate me becauseFor an entire lifetime, I was, you know, like I said, the girl behind the scenes.I never spoke up, I never stood up for myself.I never, like, made waves.It was like, "Don't go against the grain."You know, "Don't buck authority.Don't do this, don't do that."

And I feel like I finally just came to that point where I'm like, you know, uh, at 50, it's like, "Okay, enough's enough.Fuck yes after 50."That's the evolution-of Awaken the Warrior to Queen by Design and now here we are.And it's like- Mm-hmm.tell it like it is, say your truth, go out there, shout it from the rooftops.Doesn't matter.The people who need to hear your voice are gonna hear you because you're saying it.You're the lighthouse.You're not the tugboat trying to pull people and be like, "Come my way," or, "Look at me and do this."It's like, no, I'm out there and I'm telling it like I see it, and I'm gonna just be truthful and honest and not care because notThat's not the right phrase, but I'm gonna let the chips fall where they may.Mm.Because me being silent is not helping anybody.

Me not speaking my truth is doing a disservice to the creator who told me, "Your calling is something bigger than this."Mm-hmm."Why are you standing back and not saying anything?"Mm.Mm.And I think it's more miserable to live with something on the inside of you that needs to come out and not let it out, than it is to let it out and potentially be judged, criticized or- Absolutely.quote unquote fail, right?Right.Uh, there is no failure.It's all learning.ItLearning and unlearning, that's what I keep saying.And I, you know, I just keep thinking back to when you go through things and you just tell yourself, you know, "Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe."And it's like, literally life, it's a series of inhales and exhales.If we stop long enough to take an inhale and we let it out, nothing.There's nothing.That's a gift.That's a gift.You're, uhYou have the gift of life.Your heart is beating, you're breathing.It's literally just as easy as that.Inhale and exhale.

Nothing else matters.You are so right 'cause think about it.It's the moment our breath leaves our lungs that life is gone.Yeah.So it is nothing else than breathing.Yep.And we put all the expectations, we put all the, you knowWhat's the word I'm looking for?We define that-circumstance.We put emotion, we put fear, we put anger, we put all that hate and racism, all the things in it.Mm.It's not.It's just breathing.Don't c- don't over complicate it.Just breathe.That's all it is.And breathing combined with boredom, I believe, sometimes, like, we don't let our brains rest- Mm-hmm.like we used to.There is noAnd you, you said you're 55, right?Yep.You've been on this earth long enough to know that there was a time where there wasn't this bombardment of information and, and access to you.Like, there was a time where we used to actually have to go to someone's house to meet with them.Exactly.And just gamble and hope that they were there, right?

Or that they would answer the door.Um, and there was a time where you had to wait in line to talk to someone on the phone because someone had the line tied up unless you had enough money to have 2 lines in the house, right?Exactly.They, theyThe, the generations today will never understand that and I think what's happening, and I'm seeing it, is, is, like, I've seen a lot of Gen Z that are interested in nostalgic things.I met a young lady the other day that said she mailed a letter to her boyfriend- What?And, like, gave him instructions to, like, fill that thing out and email it back to her.So, like, they're combining nostalgia- Wow.with technology because people are craving connection again.Right?Yeah.And on that, on that note- Genuine connection.Genuine.Not the surface bullcrap that we try to do.It's the genuine, like, "Hey, I hope you're having a good day.

Let's sit and have a conversation.Let's literally just sit and have a cup of coffee and talk for, you know, 20, 30 minutes without looking at your phone, without scrolling a reel, without all these outside distractions."I think that genuine connection, like you said, that's what's missing and we need to come back to that, mm.Amen.Yeah, absolutely.And, and it's, it's happening whether we want to or not.Like, things always come full circle.E- Ecclesiastes 1:9-11, I posted it today, you know, "Do you not know that," you know, "there are no new ideas under the sun?"Everything that is is a combination of something that's already existed and there's nothing you can say, "Look, here's a new thing"- 

Right.because it's always some combination of God's principles and his, his design- Yeah.reimagined for the current times, right?Exactly.Mm-hmm.And so we're coming to pretty much the fall of Rome right now, right?Everything is entertainment because they're tryingThey have to entertain us- Yeah.so that we don't lose our minds.NowAnd that- that- that's an opinion, but, you know, make the decision for yourself-based on what you're seeing.Um, there- there's a woman out here, or a man, that's watching this that needs, that needs you.Right?What is the one message you have for them?Hoo.That if there's something in your brain that's an idea, there's something on your heart, there's something in your belly that has given you, you know, those butterflies, that's- that's a burning desire.Hm.That's something that you really need to tap into, that you really need to explore.And like you- you kind of touched on it, like everything that you can think of-God's already imagined, he's already created it, and if it's in your brain, it's meant for you to explore.If it's in your heart, it's meant for you to, you know, take the time to give it some love and see what happens.

If it's in your belly, it's that burning desire that you want something different than what you currently have, and I think- Mm-hmm.the message would be to, if it's there, it's something bubbling under the surface, let it out.What's the harm- Mm-hmm.in letting it out?What's the worst that can happen?You know?My husband and I have this conversation all- all the time, and with our youngest daughter, where I was like, "Okay, there's some stuff going on, but did you die?"No.You didn't die.So just go do it.Just try it.What's the harm in trying it and giving it breath, giving it life?'Cause who knows?Maybe that's your calling.Maybe that's your purpose.Maybe that's God tapping you on the shoulder, going, "Listen up.I got something better for you.I got something bigger for you.Why are you wasting your time playing small and doing this thing-" Hmm." when you're really meant to be here?"girl.And can II heard it, and I- I can't help but when I hear this, offer this reframe, and it may change things for you, it may change things for this viewer.We get what we focus on the most, right?It just is what it is.

That's how our brains are designed.So y- when you said, "What- try it.What's the worst that can happen," now they start thinking about all the things that are the worst- Not the worst, true.that could happen, and so it just keeps them from even trying.So I may, may I reframe- You may.what's the best that can happen?Let's imagine- Ooh.the best-case scenario of answering that call and it actually working.Yes.Like, we gotta tell ourselves better mental movies, right?We gotta tell ourselves movies where we're the star and we win in the end, right?How awesome is this thing gonna be when I actually follow it and it works and I get to live the life that God has for me?And help other people live that life, too, right?Absolutely, yeah.Mm-hmm.So I'm in, I'm in full agreement with what you said.I just wanted to offer that- Just-for that listener, too.Just, let's just tweak it, just a little bit.It's great.But it can be greater.Right?Absolutely.Um, and- and not to say that what youyeah.It's, that's just my thing, is greater.Hm.So you are incredible, C.J.C.Boyd.

And we gotta conclude the C, 'cause it's that maiden name, and it's important.Where can they find you?I'm everywhere.Uh, Facebook, Facebook, uh, LinkedIn, I'm on Instagram.I don't do a whole lot, but, uh, mainly Facebook.Um- Hm.you know, I don't know how it happens, but people started following, and I was like, "Oh."Everybody's like, "Oh, build your 5K network.You know, you get to, need to get to 5,000 friends."And all of a sudden, I'm like, need to look at my page.I, uh, where am I?"And I'm like, "You have 8,500 friends.How did that happen?"I'm like, "Aah, don't know how that happened!"But yeah, Facebook is primarily where I'm at.Um, you know?I think when I met you 6 years ago, you had like one or 2000.And when I looked, right?I was like, "H- what just h- hold on."

"When did that happen?That's crazy."But that's what happens when you show up and you're- you're being courageous, you're living from your heart, and you're speaking your message.Your message is meant to attract the right people as much as it is to repel the wrong people, but the- the problem is not content or- or consistency or any of that stuff.It's really, um, are you attracting your people?It's visibility.They need to know you exist 'cause there's more people in this world that don't know who you are than there are that do.

And- Totally.they're ready to work with you.They're ready to follow you.They just need to know you exist.So I'm gonna ask the challenging question 'cause that's what I do.Ooh.When are you gonna start your YouTube?Um, I actually have a YouTube channel, but I haven't done a whole lot with it.I did upload some of my Awaken the Warrior episodes on it.But I think that's, that's somewhere I need to be.Absolutely.Because YouTube is like partnering with a multibillion dollar corporation that will eventually pay you to send you ideal clients.Ooh.

And it's, it's the top of the funnel.Like, you start with YouTube, making evergreen content for your people, as you do on Facebook, and you trickle all of the stuff that you can clip from that- Hm.onto the other platforms, but always start with YouTube.Awesome.This, this will be on YouTube.And- Ooh.it'sI just, I wish I could watch you on YouTube because Facebook is very, like, I don't knowI don't know about your retention or the watch time on YouTube, or on Facebook, and how much they're paying you.I'm not, I'm not monetizing that just yet.See, and that's the thing, like, they tell you, "Get to 5,000 followers."And you're at 8,500 and you're still not pulling in anything.

Yeah.But YouTube, your people are gonna find you on there.There's a method to get them to watch and, and keep them there, and you could eventually be getting paid for the same th- same effort, maybe less, that you're putting on Facebook.That's, that's kind of why I've been kind of bridging away from it, 'cause it just feels like I'm shouting into the void.Right.And now that things have shifted to interest media, it's like, if I'm not reaching them with what they're interested in anyway, they're not going to stop and watch.Exactly.And it'sOh god, the attention.Ugh, girl, we can go all day long.Um, let's, let's have another conversation 'cause I wanna dig deeper with you.

Absolutely.And- I'm here.I try to keep these to about 30 minutes.The, uh, sometimes they go to an hour.But this has been an incredible interview.Um, cjcboyd on all platforms.Um, did you say TikTok?No.No TikTok.Great.TikTok's a hard, a hard pass for me.I love it.I love it.It's, it's, it's, uh, it's ruining our attention span.Mm-hmm.And, uh, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave that there on the shelf for the next episode.

Um- So I encourage you, if you're listening to this, to remember to be bold and courageous.Take, take, take on.Do everything that you do with passion, and I promise you will have a life that you love.Now, go and be greater.We'll see you in the next episode.my favorite music.I just love it.It's