Midlife Crisis? Nope! Just Following my Delulu Dreams
A comedic healing journey through dating, acting, and moving to LA after 40.
Midlife Crisis? Nope! Just Following my Delulu Dreams
I'm Back!
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Erica's exciting return to podcasting; spoiler alert it's really a journey of self-discovery.
Oh yeah, it feels so good to be back where we belong. Hello everybody! Oh my god, I am super excited. My dog might be excited as well. You could hear him in the background. I'm excited because I'm back. Back where I belong, back in front of the mic, back podcasting. For those of you that are new here and don't know who I am, I'm Erica Hernandez, and I've been podcasting, I want to say since 2018, 2019. I have to remember, I have to go back. I'm doing this solo for the first time. I've always had a co-host or was working on podcast podcast? Podcast projects? Podcast projects that involved other people's stories. And this time is just me, myself, and I. You guys just get me. Lucky you. Lucky you because I think I'm a good time. And my dog's rudely back there drinking water. I think I'm a good time. I am the best time. And so the fact that we get to spend the next, I don't know how long this episode's gonna be, but the next how many minutes, insert here, how many minutes is gonna be together talking about life and growth and all that jazz. So this is a nude podcast for me. It is called Midlife Crisis. Nope, just following my Dululu Dreams. I think that's the title. Um, I just came up with it a few days ago. Also, wrong notebook. Um, I was looking for the title in a notebook. Um, yes, it is Midlife Crisis question mark. Nope, just following my Dululu Dreams. Yes, that is the title. There is a tagline and like what this this podcast encompasses or what this podcast is about. But um my coach has it and she's on vacation right now, and I thought I wrote it down, but I didn't, and then I went to go look for the recording, and I didn't record, even though I like thought I hit record, and we even talked about it for the first like five seconds of our call that about recording, and I'm like, oh my god, I didn't record. Anyways, that tagline or description will come in later episodes. I might even pop it on. You might have already heard of it uh by the time this airs, but I could not wait. I was just super excited to start podcasting again. Um, and I'm having a hard time not looking at myself because there's a camera here. Um I'm digressing a lot. Sorry, sorry guys, but it's been a while, and I wanted to come on here to just talk about why podcasting, why I took a break, and why I'm back, why I am back and why I'm so excited to be back, and how this just fills my soul. Like just recording here, I think you could feel the energy, the intention in my voice, in my energy, through the camera. You could just feel that I'm happy and it feels like I'm home. Like I sang at the beginning. It feels so good to be back where we belong. That that is a uh new edition song. I think it's called Home Again. I think this is when like all the new edition guys got back together in like the 90s, and uh it's it was a good album. I think the album is called Home Again. Um I listen to a lot of those songs. I think they're still good, they're still bops, they still slap. But I'm digressing a lot. This is my podcast, so I'm gonna uh digress so much, so much. So I have not podcast in over a year. So last time I podcast, I was in Arizona. I was living in Arizona, and I think I stopped around May, I want to say, May of 2024. I had a podcast with my friend Leia, called Hey Sister Soul Sister, and we I was just going through a big transition. I was about to move to LA. Um, I was going to LA every other weekend looking for a place. Um, and then I was gonna sublet, and it was just gonna be this whole chaos, and podcasting just like didn't feel right at the time. And so we decided to take a pause. And there's at this moment, there's still two episodes that I never released, and I might release them and just you know, everyone have a head heyday with them, even though they're outdated, but we still had fun recording them. And uh just coming back to LA, like I wanted I knew I always wanted to come back to podcasting, I just didn't know how. And I have done, and we'll there's gonna be other episodes about my growth in LA and like what transpired since I've been here, but I really had to focus on my healing journey when I got to LA, and so I didn't really have the capacity, space, energy, desire, motivation, all that they I just I just couldn't podcast, I just couldn't do it. And Leia was on the same boat, and so we just decided to take a break and come back when it felt right. Basically, I have been getting the pool, and it the pool has been strong for me lately, and I knew that I had to come back to podcasting, and I knew it was time that I had to do it on my own because this podcast, this what this thing I'm creating right now is for me. It's really is for me, and it's my story. Even though I loved having the podcast with my friend, and it was a great time, that time has ended for us to to have that podcast, and not to say that she will never co-host with me. I I hope that she has time and is able to come on the show and we could do some some takebacks, but I know that's not her focus, and for me, it is my focus because I consider this podcasting more a little bit more than a hobby, and I want to make it a full-time career, entertainment is my purpose, and so this is just a creative outlet for me. So that is kind of why I had to stop podcasting and the things that kind of delayed me from coming back. Um, just a whole bunch of growth. I'm this morning. I woke up and I was thinking about when I first moved to LA and just how different of a person I was. And I was just laying in my bed, but I was remembering some moment in front of my mirror, and I was like, I'm not her anymore. I'm somebody else, I'm somebody different. And that kind of made me really excited and happy. I was like, ooh, I'm somebody different.
SPEAKER_02I love me now. I love life, and I'm so excited for life and every day.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, so I'm not the same person, and that's my train of thought. But all that, all everything, you know, I needed to pause, I needed to grow, I needed to do my thing, I needed to settle into this new way of living in LA. You guys know my story, or no, you guys don't some of you guys don't know my story, so just a quick because I I will have other episodes that go deeper into this, and I'll talk about the energetics and my healing journey. But I was with somebody for 15 years, I lived with them for 10, went through a b massive breakup in 2022, moved to Arizona in 2023, moved to LA in 2024. That's a lot of changes, and that does a lot to a person. Okay, like the fact that I'm smiling, still standing, loving life, uh is is a big accomplishment. It's a big win-win. You know, I got my power back, I'm here, baby, and I am better than ever. Hey. I don't know why I'm being so flirty. I've been I'm just excited. This is excitement energy for the podcast. So I really did have had to take a break from podcasting because I was rebuilding myself, I was figuring out who I was without all these identities, without all these trauma bonds that I had with certain people. And I really had to come to my own. LA really forced a lot of alone time and but also establishing me who is Erica without all these other things. And just recently recently, um within the past few months since March, I've been working on what is my next move. Like I just felt kind of stuck creatively and I was doing these things and it still didn't feel right. And I messaged my mentor coach like about a month ago, and I I needed help wording a series that I wanted to do on the Instagrams, and it ended up being that we were we were gonna work for six weeks together. Like I needed some re-cleansing of just how I was doing life, re-stablishing my habits, but establishing in the way that I could allow creativity in because I was so disconnected from everything because of the healing journey I took really took me out of my creativity. Like, there was things that I was still doing, but after I was done, I was like, I'm not motivated to do this. Like, I took some acting classes, and afterwards I'm like, I'm fucking done. Like, I just want to sit on the couch or go hang out with friends, and I lost the fun in the creativity, so I started working with my um mentor, my coach, Marley Ansell, which I've talked about a lot in my previous other podcasts. If you guys are new here, she's an amazing human. She has basically been with me in my growth and my journey from the beginning, from the beginning. But um, God, what were the questions I was asking? Like, why I stopped podcasting and why podcasting? I have to remember what I'm talking about. I I said this all on the car one day, and so it's already out in the universe, no one heard it, it wasn't recorded, so I feel like I've already told you guys. But, anyways, Marley back to Marley. Six weeks, and we just kind of started working on things to build a little bit more structure with my creativity and have creative sessions, and I do some meditations to help channel in the creativity when I have my creative s creative sessions because I still work a full-time job because I'm not leaving that until I could replace that income because a girl makes a good income. I like the way I live, I don't like struggling, and I'm I'm refusing to be a struggling artist. I want to be my own sugar mama. I am funding myself, okay. Okay, my parents aren't rich. I am funding my dream, I am funding myself, so I need to have protections financially before I could like a hundred percent do this on my own, right? Um, and leave the corporate job. So we looked at my current schedule, we said, okay, these are the pockets of creativity, and she gave me a meditation, and at this point I was really trying to um and I love making videos, but when it came to making videos for social media on a regular basis, it just stopped being fun because for me making videos, it just this is something that comes and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna make a video, but I the idea of just making them like you know constantly, it just like didn't come easy and it was a struggle, and it was really um the fact that I couldn't come up with as many ideas as some of these great influencers that I follow, these great content creators that I follow, was kind of making me mad because I'm like if I can't post three times a day, I'm never gonna make it and I'm gonna be stuck in my corporate job. And Marley and I were figuring out a different way, and she's like, just focus on one video, but also have these creativity sessions. And in the meditation, right before one of the creativity sessions, all I could envision was me and this like hot podcaster that I found online recently just talking. And I got out of that meditation and I was like, nothing came. All I could do was think of this like internet crush that I have. All I could think about is this like hot internet guy that I just want to sit next to and talk to and like flirt with on camera with a microphone all day. That's like that was all I could think about, and then I remembered what she said at the top of the meditation was pay attention to visuals. And I was like, Oh, I'm not in love with him. I just want to podcast. That is what I want to do. Pay attention to the visuals. But it's so funny how things are in our face, but we're we think it's something else. We make up another story to something else, and for me, it was really like, Oh, yeah, that guy is hot. But you also really love podcasting, and how about you go back to that? Because podcasting was the very first thing that I start that I did to start awakening my creative self, my shadow self that I had buried. So this this is going back into my story, and it all ties into why podcasting, why podcasting is the outlet for me. In what year was it? Long, long time ago, guys. I'm 43. In my twenties, in my mid-20s, um, actually my entire life, I deprived myself of doing the things I wanted to do creatively because I just never felt safe. It just my parents didn't know better. They were immigrants from Mexico. It was the 80s, and this me was like, I'm gonna be a famous singer and star and actress, and they're like, What? No comprendo, no hablamos English. And they were straight up like My parents just didn't know what to do with me, because they were just in survival mode. They came from a very small town in Mexico that was basically a ranch. So they didn't understand what to do with a creative child like me. And you know, they were just like, Well, why don't you be a doctor? Why don't you be to this? And and I don't know if this just is just something in Latino culture or coming from a super Catholic religious town in Mexico, but it was always like we had to worry what other people thought about us, and like they were always shrinking us and making us small. And not and I say this with love because I know they're not my parents weren't trying to be mean or anything, it was just like there was just a certain way we needed to act in public. Um, and so they saw some of the things we did even just at home like a bad thing, and we weren't bad, you know, and they did the best they could, you know. Whatever. My parents weren't like early 20s when they had they had me when they were 20. I'm only like 20 years apart from my parents. So to say all that is I deprived it my whole life. I never thought I was worthy of my dreams, my desires, and I also thought that everyone wanted to be famous somehow. Like everyone had the thoughts, and so I just kind of pushed it, like shoved through life, like moved through life doing backstage stuff in college. I was a theater major by chance. Um, like I took one drama class in high school, and then I was like, I'm gonna be a theater major and I'm gonna move to LA and I moved to Riverside and was a theater major and like auditioned once and like did horribly, and then I was like, us like as an actor and I stopped acting after like my first second year of college, um, and was like, I'm gonna be some background, whatever that is, like tech work. I don't know. I just I was just trying to figure out and it but I was trying to be in the arts because I knew I needed to be around the creativity, but I I also was really good with techie stuff too, so it's like I liked both worlds, and I'm I'm still trying to figure what life is for me after college. I just did like serving jobs and I did a few lighting design gigs, like very low money, but I did some. And I worked as a casting assistant, office manager for a few years. Um it was like a year and a half, but working for that person was she oh man, she was really shoving some belief systems in me, like definitely, and I didn't have the capacity then to understand really what was happening, and so she was just showing me what I believed in myself, like thinking it wasn't good enough. Like she made me feel like oh, you're you're you're lucky I took a chance on you. And just growing up, um, some some of the belief systems I thought growing up was you're just when you work, you just work as hard, you don't question the boss, you just do it, you just have to grind through it. Um, and that you should be grateful for having that job. And so that's kind of how I walked around in casting, but I was being verbally abused, and I was only there for a year and a half, and I have some of my friends, I have two friends that um we're still friends, and we still talk about it, like we're so traumatized from it, and I haven't worked for this person since 2008. 2008, it's like 18, 17 years ago, and there was some deep trauma there because this person was just so abusive, um, yelling at us, telling us we like we we were nothing, and I just you know I always tell people if you ever seen Devil Wars Prada, Miranda Presley, um, that's Minal Streep's character, was nice. Was nice compared to the boss I had. Because in Devil Wars Prada, like she just she's just like she knows what she wants, but she doesn't try to be your friend. With the casting director that I worked with, there was like oh I love you guys, and like she would take us out to these nice dinners and massage days, but then call us stupid and that we didn't know how we did to do our jobs, and she told me once when I was really I I mean I worked hard and I could say like I'm not a bad worker. She got in my face one day and was like, You're giving us a bad name. This production assistant is talking mad smack about you, and I mean I just didn't that that production assistant was just like a c she was a B-I-C-T-H or a C U N T. Um, and it was just nitpicking at me, and we were working crazy hours. I remember just running on a few hours of sleep that week because like I was overworked, but I couldn't really ask for help because then my boss would yell at me, and it was just like the cycle, this so cycle, and I was like, I have to stick it out. But I left that job. That's when she yelled at me and told me that that's the moment I knew I had to leave because I was like, you don't appreciate me, and I'm doing a lot. Like, you need to come in and say, Hey, how can I help you? I've been overworking you. How can we get help here? instead of yelling at me and trying to fix it. Very narcissistic traits. But yeah, I left that job and I just remember being like broken and shattered, and after that, like I just I didn't I didn't go to therapy, but going through that abuse and trying to just fit into corporate America um and get like a regular job was like death to my soul. When that happened, I think I moved back home like a year and a half later to be with my boyfriend and I got um I got I got a corporate job. And within the first year, I remember saying saying things like, Oh, why don't we get like a spring break? Like this is this like I just remember thinking like this just goes on, this just happens like this, like every year, every day. It's just like non-stop. Like at least kids in school get like a winter break, summer break, um, and they come back and that something new, it's something resets, and we don't have that. Because even in casting, we worked really hard, but there was breaks because people went on vacation, like actors went on vacation. I don't know how it is now, but at the time and in the early aughts, and in the aughts, because it was late aughts, in the aughts, like we had these breaks, and but like here we didn't, it just kept going. It was just like non-stop, two two weeks of vacation a year, like what the fuck? Like corporate America just still trips me out. I mean, it's the system I live in, it's the system we operate on, but fuck that system's fucked. All that is a long way to say that I gave up on my dreams. I gave up on my dreams, and my you know, I was living in Northern California, and I had a good social life. I just felt completely unfulfilled. I felt like there was something in me dying, and I didn't I couldn't understand why. I just I just didn't know. I was like, why? I mean, I'm like my own home, I make mm like decent money, I go on the vacations I want, I have like I have things like on paper, everything looks fine, but like why am I feeling this like something's missing? I'm like, I feel off. I think it was like going through a depression depression, and it was just like really weird. Like, I just I didn't like my life, and I remember coming from a trip. I went to like Japan, and my ex walked in, he's like, Oh, it feels so good to be home, and I wasn't And I just like randomly said, like, uh. And I remember him getting really upset about that. I was like, I didn't understand why he was so upset. And I was just like, what do you mean? Like, I have to go back to work. Like, I have to go back to this like mendane, boring life that doesn't fulfill me. Um, and he didn't understand what I was coming from because he was like, Again, we'll go into this deeper, but he was just like, You're being a spoiled brat, not everyone likes their job. Um, you you make good money, you work for a good company. All of that is true. I make good money, work for a good company, but I wasn't being fulfilled. Like inside of me, my creative self was dying, and my creative self was like scratching at me, like begging for some creativity. And when I met Marley, so I met Marley because I was doing cringe. I know right now I was a beach body coach, MLM. I was trying to get that happening because I just wanted something else than what I was doing, and with the beach body, like how people were able to recruit other people. I know that sounds so cringe when I said that, but how people were able to have successful businesses in there or be a successful coach was they use social media and some of them use video, and that so that creative aspect of putting yourself online and creating content was what I liked. And I also liked the workouts. Um, the supplements, pues no sé, they were okay, they weren't bad, they were just okay. I just like didn't fully believe in them, and I was like trying to sell them, which probably why I wasn't successful. But I did like the workouts, I did, I I still like some of the workouts. But that coaching, the beach body, being a beach body coach or affiliate, whatever you call it, got me closer to to Marley and got me closer to really understanding that I am a creative and I like I love to create content, whether it's podcasts, Instagram videos, performing improv, hopefully one day being a recurring guest on a sitcom, you know, like it was bringing me closer to my true self, being being bringing me closer to performer Erica, um, creative Erica. And so when I met Marley, I was like kind of, I don't know, like slightly over the beach body theme, but still trying to make it work. And we started like talking, but she like she was like really cool, and like there was just this like energetics that were happening. Like she like we were met, we're like soulmates in in in the friend verse ver like soulmate type way. And we had met a few times or done Zoom calls, like we didn't meet in person, but we did done some Zoom calls, and we were texting, and she had asked me, like, well, what is it that you really want? And I remember like there was in me that was like, You need to tell her, you need to tell her what you think of every night. So, like every night when I was going to bed, I was thinking of being interviewed by a late night show. I had these visions of me being interviewed by them for like work that I did. Um, and at the time, what was powerful was podcasting, or I had just like I had listened to podcasts before, but I had realized that people, normal people, can podcast. Um, because at the time I had only listened to podcasts that was like NPR. I listened to like the first season of serial, which I think is an NPR podcast. So I thought it was more like um investigative journal journalists, and people that have like broadcasting degrees were the only ones that could broadcast. And then I started through Beach Body, found some people that were just podcasting, and their podcast, there was one girl that I followed, had nothing to do with Beach Body, had nothing to do with business, and it was just like her and her friend just having fun on the podcast. Like it was just like it was like a it was a comedy podcast, lifestyle pom comedy podcast. And I'll like when I heard them, I was I just told myself like, oh my god, I could do that. Like, I'm entertaining, I think I'm funny, um, and funny in a way that like I'm not a stand-up comedian, but I can entertain people with just conversations, and I know I have a good energy about me, and I know I can make some things funny that are just normal everyday stuff, I can make them fucking funny, you know. Like I see the humor in a lot of shit, you know, a lot of boring, mendane shit. I see the humor in life, and so Marley and I were texting, and she was like, you know, what is that deep down desire? Like when you close, like if money wasn't um an obstacle and you could go do it right now, there was no challenges, what would you do? I remember like I just need to tell her, and I told her, like, I I don't know exactly what I said, but it was along the lines that I want to be famous and that I think about being successful. I don't know if I said actor or podcaster or YouTuber, just being successful in some sort of content creation space, creative space. And she messaged me back, and I remember just being so scared, and I was like, Oh, she's gonna tell me that I need to like come back down on earth. Like everyone told me, like, I'm just gonna get the same response. Um, because at the time I was 36, I think, 36, 37, and I saw her voice memo pop up because we were voice memoing, and I just remember going, Oh, she's just gonna tell me, like, haha, funny, funny girl, funny that you think that, but you're old, you gotta not do it. And what she had said, she's like, Erica, if that's a desire in your heart, and you think about it every night and you daydream about it, that is meant for you to do. That is what God, Source, God Angels Universe put into your heart for you to do. She's like, I don't have that pool, I don't have a pool to be a nurse surgeon, and some people do. That is your purpose here on earth. You're meant to fulfill that. That is what Source gave to you. And I remember just crying, like hysterically, because I was like, She gets me, she finally gets me, because again, I was 36, and all my 36 years on earth was like, No, do something else. No, people like us don't do that. No, no, no, no, no. Made me feel wrong about something that was deep in my heart, and um made it not safe, made me feel like I was gonna get rejected and not gonna be loved, and I still struggle with some of that at this point. You know, I've gone through many levels of it of healing it, but I'm gonna constantly be healing it every time I try something different in in the entertainment space. Um, and at that time I told her, I was like, I know that there's first off, I was like, thank you, you hear me.
SPEAKER_02You know what I am, you know who I am, you say me for me, thank you.
SPEAKER_01Tears crying. After I like was crying of happiness that somebody fucking finally understood me and fucking was like gave me the space, was like, it's okay to fucking want your dreams. You're meant to have them, go the fuck after them, because if you don't, you're gonna hate life. So after that, after I got off the like that that that emotional roller coaster, I told her, I know there's a way to do it with YouTube and podcasts and just social media. There's a way that I could get that that that dream of being uh an entertainer and a con not not content creator, but a way to be a entertainer full-time without even being in LA. I mean, I'm in LA now because I love LA, but that's a different story. But I don't need to be here if I didn't want to, right? But the thing is I want to be here. But I knew there was a way now, easier pathways to go about fulfilling the dreams of being a superstar. But I knew there was different ways to fulfill the creative dream without taking that traditional route. And so we started working on podcasts, and that's when I started to feel feel myself come back online, feel myself having purpose and really podcasts just set me on a trajectory of life. Like basically, and I have to find this voice message, but I may stop. But Marley explained it to me recently because I had been I didn't know I was doing this, but subconsciously I had paused podcasting um because of what the podcasts did for my life in these past few years. So I started podcasting, and what happened was it completely like blew my relationship apart and it needed to blow apart because my ex wasn't for me. There was a lot of things that weren't right. But podcasting blew up my life, and I think I had some resentment around that, and I was like, it's gonna blow up my life again, but it was but it wasn't because it was my path. Like I needed to go on that journey because I needed to get rid of the shit, rid of the things, rid of like just the energy that was keeping me small, keeping me stuck, keeping me constrained, keeping me from following my fucking dreams. That's what podcast was doing for did for me. And so I had that resentment because like I was like, dude, that all that change in that little time, especially when you're older, wow, with a lot of crying. It it it's a lot emotionally, it's a lot, and it's and it causes for us to get really, really tired when we face a lot of that scary shit. And I've been facing it, I've been facing the fears constantly and like breaking walls, but it's so exhausting, and I'm tired. Podcasting just has played a massive role in bringing me back to my creativity, finding me, finding my shadow artist, my inner artist, the one that I deprived a lot of my life, and bringing her out, but also bringing her out and being confident, bringing that confidence and not wavering and not compromising her, not making her small anymore. Like she's gotta live. That's who she that's who I am. And so I'm still navigating that, like I'm still because I've I've been suppressing her for so long that sometimes I notice I still do suppress like the artistic meme, or I'm ashamed to be saying like I create contact on the internet. But now I think like with podcasting, I feel more secure that in that because I I I I have been creating videos on for Instagram and TikTok, and like it's every time I say like it just doesn't feel right, like, oh yeah, I'm creating content, and I like feel like I'm not embarrassed, but there's like this resistance because I don't have a gazillion followers, I have like 400 or something at this time. And saying, Oh, I'm a podcaster, that feels different, that feels good to me. And I knew I had to come back to podcasting because of you know that meditation, but every time I like had my creative sessions, and I've only been doing the creative sessions for two weeks, dos semanas. And every time I write, they're like long. And I'm like, how am I gonna put this in a five-second video that's catchy? How are people gonna know like what I'm trying to talk about? Like, I'm a talker, I like the duck, I like to talk with my hands. I need to put this on the internet, but I need to put it in in in the YouTubes. I don't know what accent that was. Um, I'm really bad at accents, so you're welcome. You can make fun of me all you want. Put it in the comments, like, oh my gosh, she wants to be an actor. She's so bad at action. Yeah, Susan, I am. That's why I'm gonna be a comedy actor, and I'm gonna do all these really, really bad accents for you guys, and you guys could just make fun of me and I could win Razzi Razzies? Are those the ones for the bad actors? I don't know. Maybe I'll win like an Academy Award for the World's Worst Accent, or I make up an accent like Moira Rose. Hello, did we not see should screak? That accent, who knows what it was, but it was funny and it worked. We loved it. Uh but where was I? I lost my train of thought. Oh no. Podcasting. Oh my god, I lost my train of thought.
SPEAKER_02How do I wrap this up?
SPEAKER_01Oh god. I'm gonna I'm gonna calm down and think about it. This is why I need a producer or somebody else. I'm gonna put this on pause because I do want to find this audio recording that my coach sent me that I think maybe we'll tie up all of this. Um let me see. I'm gonna pause this. Okay. So I found I found the voice voice note, and I'm gonna ask if I could use use it, use it for this podcast. So recap, recap. I had told her that in my meditation, podcasting came in loud and clear, and the resentment I had around podcasting. And so this was her feedback.
SPEAKER_00Your voice note, because this is massive. So would you think about it like podcasting is an energy in itself, right? And you know that it's connected to your higher self, you stepping into your creativity, being the wholeness of who you're meant to be. Okay, so you started podcasting. And that energy pushed up to the surface of everything that was not in alignment with your higher self. Podcasting, you know, you've heard me say it a thousand times. Your soul's calling will drag you, drag you through everything that is not meant to be a part of your life. It's gonna show you the parts of your life that are out of alignment, it's gonna show you where you need to go, it's gonna show you what you have to let go of. You started podcasting and awakening this creative part of yourself that has been always in you, but it has been dormant, and it started showing loudly what cannot stop. Like bless podcasting, thank you broadcasting, because it disrupted everything that was keeping you trapped and enclosed. So praise and the hallelujah, it is always gonna lead you. That energy is gonna lead you to the path that you're meant to be on.
SPEAKER_01It's gonna lead me to the path I'm meant to be on, which this is why I'm so excited for this podcast. I should have just I should have just posted that. That should have been the podcast. I just spent an hour-ish talking about my journey and my podcasting, why I stopped it for that message. That you know, how long was it? Like one minute? It was really short. But I think, you know, that's why we podcast, because we know we could deliver this message in 30 seconds, but we need to share our stories because we like talking and we like looking at ourselves at the camera. At least I do. I love the camera, and the camera loves me, and I'm gonna do the what is it? This is just there you go, the Gen Z heart. I just did that. This is the geriatric millennial heart, which is so easy to do. This is the Gen Z heart. So you start off with like a peace sign, and then you put your middle fingers together at the bottom, and then you curl your index fingers, put them together, and you do that heart, and it hurts. It hurts, it hurts my right hand because of all the writing I did and typings, you know, like carpal tunnel, arthritis crap. This hurts, or you could do it like this, like the K-pop little heart, where it's like your thumb and your index finger together, and it makes like this tiny little heart. And I'm just thinking of K-pop Demon Slayer right now and soda pop song. Yo, my soda pop, my little soda pop. Anywho, anywho, we are done. I don't have anything else to say. Um welcome to my show. We're gonna talk about more things about just life and healing, pursuing a creative career in my 40s, pursuing acting, all moving to LA, dating in LA, dating post-healing, dating before healing. Um, and I'm sure there's gonna be a lot more topics. Uh, this is gonna be great. This is gonna be great. Love you guys. Thank you guys for following me. Thank you. Let's go on this journey, and until next time, follow your Dululu dreams. Yeah, go ahead, go do some Delulu stuff. Just do it, just do it. Bye bye.