Visiting a New Mum: The Unspoken Rules

In this candid return of Those Avoided Topics, host Ibtisam Habib steps back into the studio, This time with a newborn in tow to tackle a subject most parents feel but few dare to say out loud: Postpartum Visiting Etiquette.

Fresh from her own journey into "girl mama" territory for the second time, Ibtisam dives into the social friction that often follows a new arrival. From the "Nairobi vs. Coast" cultural clash to the unintended stress of unsolicited advice and unannounced morning visits, this episode breaks down the unspoken rules that protect a mother’s mental and physical health during recovery.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:20

And we are back. I haven't been this studio since I think seven months pregnant. So I'm excited to be back. It feels so different, yet it feels the same. So today, as you all have noticed, I came in with my little one. And while the topic is still fresh and hot in my brain, I said, let me just come sit down and speak to you, especially to Sahalu. Now, what I'm about to say is not relevant for people who are like your family, your super, super close friends. And you'll understand why I'm saying this as we get into the discussion. But what I'm about to say is for guests, I want to talk about postpartum visiting etiquette or lack thereof. Now, let me get straight into it. Okay, as I mentioned, I have a newborn. My baby is about to, my baby is two months tomorrow, actually. Now, from the Costerian culture, when you give birth, you typically most of us go back to our mom's houses because, you know, self-life is important. Not in the case, when I pick you a chai, soup, kiamka chakula kikoredi. Now, I also learned when I moved to Nairobi that our cultures are very different. In Nairobi, I had um, when I moved here and people would give birth, I'd be like, when can I come see the baby? I realized in Nairobi, it's a thing where people go see the baby like much later, like three months, it seems uh-not in cost. In cost, people come see you while you're in the hospital. Like the moment we mwe, wata naza kukuja. Now, I don't think at any point in time, tulika, tulika tiny nawazetu kaamba, easy n diotabia za kwanda kuangalia mtumea emiji fungua. I don't think imewai kufanyinka so atami mikija nam ze nikai tuonge tafadalini. Reason being, I just went through it so bad on aikumbuka fresh, fresh, change feel good. And the things that just happened, and I was just like, akikes, for what reason. Now, again, allow me, just like the previous episode, my mom brain is membraining. So, ni meandika kwakwasimu, donisi sahao, ku na nangalea chini. Nikwa naku naangalea ni kumbuke which points nisi sahao. Now, first things first, please guys, before you go visit this new mom, right? Please ask them what time's convenient for them. Now, I know there's people who are risers, you know, if you go visit them at 6 a.m., they are chill, they're cool. But kuna wenginewe to, hey guys, I got I got a guest that came in. Asubuhi ya fatah hearazak, asubuhi na mapema. I was still in my pajama. I had not had, I was sitting on the dining table having breakfast. My daughter was in her pajama, she was having breakfast, and then we just had ding dong, and I'm like, excuse me, and and and the person hadn't called to say, but if you think about it, in Islam in itself, right? We are taught in terms of visiting people, just generally visiting people. Ideal scenario na kuangapale bada asr and wasuana ku visitiana lunchtime, andamwa, you see sita bea you and mkujusiko. So asubui makewa free, yani hajja tadywa ki islamu anyway. But bare minimum, akin ipigiesimu. Because if you come in in my pajamas, you have disoriented me in more ways more than I can explain. I have maziwa all over. Any I'm not enjoying your presence there. So the first things I want to say is please call, ask. When's a good time for me to come? Don't just assume because holy I'm ka 5 a.m. by nine, my 9 a.m. kwaku meshafik afternoon, so we're good to go. We're not good to go. So what? Please ask. And again, as I mentioned earlier, this is this does not apply to family. So if it's like my mom's sister coming in, please kujasubu, in fact, and okay. You know what I mean? So it doesn't apply to like immediate family. And if you're wondering, am I immediate family? If you've got to ask yourself that question, then you're probably not. So please ask. The next thing I want to say is, depending on how close you are, ukishakuja kuango. Sa, omekuja kuni visit. Again, this is for guests. Ukishakuja kuni visit, usikai for hours and hours and hours. Ask yourself, am I helping this new mom or the host of the house, like my mom in that case, am I helping them in any way? If the answer is no, it probably means you're adding more work for us. Let me explain. When I ask, when I say if you're helping in any way, if you've come in and you've decided, you know what, my mom doesn't have a help, mutual msa idea ku safishanyumba, you you can stay ki dogo. Eh? Umekuja wan pika lunch, eh, you can stay ki dogo. But wekuja nye umekasa. Sasita. Sasa. Ukotuapo. Mushene. Mushene. Awis mina dak wonakuoga andaku, I'm entertaining you now as a guest. Eh, aikai poa. Mm si kuja mkajisawa mkaka na mseidi. As at some point you need to realize that umsei ame choker. She needs to rest, she needs to get things done. But if you're seated there and you're a guest, I can't do any of those things. So ni meka, I have to entertain you. Mm-hmm. Some people will be listening to this and be like, hmm, Uhaki kwa kuja ku visit you. Imagine, emergency. Una kuja onakaki dobro, you say, you listen, you ask what you want to ask. Uksha maliza wna mumbeamtu dwa, you gara go. So three hours later, you sit there now, I'm starting to think, why? Which means I need to serve this person dinner. Okay, mini lukwapia two soup, monake, you know, that's what we'll be eating for 40 days. Now, what do we need to make for for this guest? It becomes such an inconvenience for everybody. See, we're on the same page until then. Fantastic. Now, the third thing, if in a case where I didn't go to my mom's house, for example, and I'm staying alone in my house, absolutely come. And then when you come, please ask if there's anything you can do to help. For example, if I'm at home alone, I'll probably need help someone on your shave. Or in another case, you can come to visit me and I have an older one, right? For example, in my case, I have a four-year-old. In fact, tomorrow, Ruby turns four. Guys, I raise up a four-year-old, four turning 16. Because we this generation. Anyway, so if I have another child, right? Ukikuja, you can offer to say, you know what? Because I know you're taking care of the new baby. Can I spend time with Ruby? End up in like a Ruby play area, sliding, do coloring, whatever. That way, you're actually helping me to just. Because I realized in my first postpartum when I had Ruby, it was just Ruby. So when Ruby was asleep, I had 1,000 things, other things that I could do. Second time around, when baby M is sleeping, I'm thinking about Ruby. What is she up to? You know, what can I do to because you don't want also the other baby to feel like, ah, yeah, since there's a new baby, that's all the attention is going to the new baby. So, as a guest ukikuja, naza jitolea, nam tot. Of course, again, depending on how close we are. If we are super duper close, we're talking joke and I the whole day. But if you're not that close, please chuku a coloring book or color nam toto. Deepati any give yourself some kazi in that house. The next thing I talk about, don't make it a competition. This is what I realized. Oh my God. First of all, you need to realize postpartum, hormones equal. So hormones can start telling you how you're the worst of mom. You already have so any. I remember, in fact, my first time around. Second time, I guess, with there's more grace because you've been there done that. But the first time I remember I had milk supply issues. And literally every time, I could start, my mind kept telling me, I you're less of a mom. You know, there's already all those going. And I know better. You know, I know I don't have I'm not in control of these things, but my mind is just telling me, you can't feed this child. You can't feed this child. Now, case in point, and I come back, ah, we have to go. Mimi, I used to have supply and supply. I had freezers. Please know this at this point in time. This new mom already is going through things in her mind telling her she's not a good mom. They knew you were there now, making it a competition. Hauna mazu, hmm. I'm you are there talking about your labor. Because mind or meza, oh mm kuja kun nyangali. Listen to my stories are big. Mimi telling you, you asked me how my labor was. Nikoapana zakuambia, oh, I labored two hours. That's nothing. Me, whole day I'm telling you, you should be very grateful. In fact, you had a normal delivery. Hmm, we ujaza. Mimi, nilishkatwa, nikasho, guys, kwani mikwa competition. The day I came to visit you, you tell me about your labor, please. Why are we making it a competition? And people have this thing of they could go either way. Either they make your suffering feel like nothing, like because they had a lot harder, or they start when you tell them about your thing, they are like, mm-hmm. They're also any of importance. Guys, hormonal imbalance. Sometimes, by the way, even at that point, the people make the the person, the new mom, can make it sound so extra. You know, like, oh my god, that death I was dying. And you know better, you're like, hmm. Like in this, if you cannot, if your face card cannot lie, just nod. Just itika. It's a competition, mommy. Toto kuba, nime pasu Mammy, Mammy. Competition Yanini Habibi. Competition Yanini. It's competition. So go together class. Asante. On that note of competition, this is something that I'm very curious about. Why is it that when we go see a new mom, we ask them, what's that about, guys? Please, e, but then we could. When my doctor friends ask me, may I get it? I know where they are coming from. But we also hale kidja. What exactly do you usually want to know from that question? Is it that you want to see kaya nyilukwa nakula enough while I was pregnant, nikaza katutu kadogo, ama nilukwa nakula sana nikaza 4.5, amakama ali ni pasu. Like, what exactly is usually the intention of asking a random new mom unamzatutokilongapi? And I remember with Ruby, she's a again, as you can see, I'm a skinny person. My husband's skinny. So when I gave birth to Ruby, she was skinny. I gave birth to her, I think, at 2.9 kgs. And I remember this guy telling me how, now you know I'm a new mom when you hear that background sound. So I remember this guy telling me, um, insisting that this is a preterm baby. And I'm like, she's 2.9 kgs. What do you mean, preterm baby? And and usually, under 2.5 is where umezaka to extra kadogo. So in my head, I'm just like, guys, I did a good job. Nikono 2.9 kgs. Granted, the 2.9, yotelikure, she was just super tall, but she was skinny. But I'm just like, so ukinya baby, so example, nikwan meza, 2 kgs. 2 kg. How am I feeling about that? So anish, uh, ako mdogu, ako super tiny. It is what it is, my sister. What can I do with that? Like, what will you do with that information? Like, what are you gonna do with that information? So I think we need to realize if it's something that I take pride in, Dr. Kiloni, and I'm taking pride in it, in that in that conversation to Kyongea, I will mention it myself. But if I haven't mentioned it, and you didn't see, you know, those uh photo shoots where, you know, Amandikwapo, born on 10th November, 3.5 kgs, 9 p.m., clearly I didn't want to share then my my those details. It's it's unnecessary. You don't need to ask guys, we don't need to have a conversation on my just like you don't come to ask me, a grown adult, how many kgs I weigh, don't ask me about my child. Also, if you want to know, I weigh 60 kgs. But yeah, don't ask me. Sendio, don't ask about my child either. It's just one of those weird, weird things to ask. Something is as weird to ask is, eh, wam nyo niesha ama wam one formula, one partia formula. I says shaku liza, shakujibu, eh numpa formula. Mama wasque, ata hamuji tumi. Sisi, sisi lukwa to nyo nyesha orchoto miakamiwili. Now, sahale, sahale, sawa, itagu, toto memonisha, miaakamiwili. Say you kupalem tani afta bangi. That's it's okay. It's okay, my sister. Lakini. Bononanifana, shame kwa kumpa formula. Do you know why I'm giving my child formula? Do you understand the logic behind it? What is with this societal pressure? Kuala zima, your way must be the right way. Mean myske, personally, I do hybrid for my kids. And I have had a lot of, oh, why? It's a story for another day, we don't need to get into this. But the number of times I have had the conversation of, oh, huna maziwa, and then you're meant to feel like this hashim of, oh, we namosha. It just, again, to the whole conversation on hormonal issues, there's already so much going on in a new mom's brain. Have I killed the child? Akila Lasana wuna end up na shikapa and after kumsi, oh, ikko hai. Asapose alasana, you are wondering, Aja Shiba. There's always all these conversations happening in your in your mind. And then you go to add on to it and make me feel like less of a mom by telling me that the things that I'm doing are in are incorrect. Okay. What manners? What manners are these? No mana mimiapa, n mekuda wiki tishaki kao. Kwa kumbusheni, se mast. Imagine sea must. In case najuwa sa ngina you know, we don't have anything to talk about, so mekuda kunivisu machindwa sa sa unta mangalesha nini. Imagine, wwen yun bedwa, dwa mwimu, alaf wejjitoe. Kao machindu wacha composition sa mwhimu, wejjitowe. And in fact, on that same thought, unsolicited advice. Uksha kuja, unyambe nikuambe na unamlicha formula, kwasababu, sina maziwa. Una ju alafu then I ask you, imagine, do you know like ways I can increase my milk supply? Abo ba then mekfungulam langu. Mwaga advise yote. Nyambi ewyewe uli kula kuki zika kuse idea, nyambi evile, your neighbour's daughter's auntie's stepchild, suji took uh mama late and it worked for them, dark chocolate, suji uji. Let me tell you the number of uji's I was told. Uji wa mtama, uji wa oats, uji wa umtalina, uji all these things. You know, once I've opened that door for you and told you, please hit me with advice. Imagine, please come through with the receipt, hit me with all the advice. But if I've not opened this door, guys, don't assume I want your unsolicited advice. And let me hear, because my brothers always tell me, uh-uh, if you've, why don't you like you only want to be praised when you people on social media? You guys on social media don't want to be told this. I'm like, listen, let me explain to you why unsolicited advice can be so toxic. For instance, I'll tell you my case, right? I've tried, I tried with, especially with my first. With my second one, I think you just literally know better, so you don't bother yourself too much. But with Ruby, I remember by day four, I had no milk supply whatsoever. And and I remember my doctor at the time had told me, don't worry, when you give birth to a baby, they already have this baby fat in them. They don't need to be actually fed. All you need to do is put them here, they will just keep demanding for that milk. No need to give them formula those first four days, you know. Unless then you're seeing you're saying that they are really hungry, they're not sleeping, they're just agitated, then you can find, you know, a supplement and give them formula. But for the first few days, we were just now your mimi. First day, second day, no milk. Everyone that's coming to visit the compositions in the corridor ni, I maskini hanamziwa. Maskini hanamziwa. And please remember, mm how maziwa works is a stress thing. If you're stressed, it doesn't come. Okay. Now every time I kept hearing hana maziwa, hana maziwa, stress ndoyu, stress ndoyu. And remember the fourth day, at some point I went to the bathroom, I cried. You know, I cried for illegal. Because I was just like, feeling, I was feeling like such a failure. Like, how do you not have maziwa? And all these mothers who were coming to see me, they were like, ah, drink dark chocolate, maziwa, uya mimi, dark chocolate. Drink oats uta bata maziwa, uyamimi. I am taking all these things, this unsolicited advice, right? I am drinking everything that they're asking me to drink, and I still did not have milk. And so at some point, you start asking yourself, am I the problem? Why don't I have milk? And this is the danger I usually say of unsolicited advice. Because you just assume that because it worked for you, it must then for sure work for me. Because your stepchild's auntie's cousin took cookies and it was like, you know, I can be a mimi basule. Now the assumption because it worked for Shagufta, it must work for you to sum. And therefore, if it doesn't work for you to sum, surely there's something wrong with you. And this this is why, just generally in life, live post. Generally in life, don't just give people unsolicited advice. You're just assuming so many things. However, again, advice is beautifully when asked, right? If I actually come and say, guy, hey, walai, sinamaziwa, what what what do you think I should try? What do you think has worked? Please, or also sometimes suja kupe yo open the door, but kunakadish, package it nicely. Ask me, are you willing to try things that I know have worked? Nikikuambia, yes, I'm willing. Nipatia. But usikaya po mama, ukawana tu, uh, uuu. Wacha sa sani. Mimi, this is where I have expertise. Up, this is my forte. Don't do it, my sister. Don't do it. So, fantastic. Next thing is, I already talked about um uh baby's weight, but also something else, this is now on social media aspect, right? Let me tell you, the moment I I posted um that I was pregnant, and people people forget syllabus yango when you are complicated, kidogo. Me, by the time nime post niko pregnant on social media, usually it's because ni shaza n shadok hospitali, niko, you know, nisha fika mba liuko. Simply, actually, most most of the time, one of the main reasons I do that is because stuck here solicited advice. Because I post Evi, unamiba. Everyone's coming. Ah, na fan dota utaza utapatale. Wafakuna, I'm like, eh, this is why now post yeah, you staffisha isha. Now, I posted that I am pregnant, right? Zika Zakukuya. This must be a boy. In fact, who you must get a baby brother. I'm like, dear ladies and gentlemen, why are you the one planning for me what gender I must get? I found that so weird. And and I get that we're live, we're living in this world where people, you know, have um preferences for you. People are entitled on what needs to be good for you. But guys, guys, gender. Gender nikt napangiamse. Gender ni based on the spam donor. What Allah did what Allah wanted a kayalia through the spam donor. Nomna nipangia. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. That is one of those very wild things. And I, in fact, at some point the pressure had gotten to me. But this even prior to social media. When I just got pregnant, I realized a lot of people were like, you know what? Ah, mungwa kuja liya wenivlana. And I kept saying, I mean, I mean. And then I sat down and thought about it. I was just like, Ifti, what's your preference? Like, what would you want? What baby would you like? What baby gender would you like to have? And I sat down and thought to myself, and I'm like, you know what? Whatever Allah gives me, right? Like I had no preference. With the first one, I just like, I wanted to have a girl, you know, I felt like I could relate to that. It is. This time I'm just like, you know what? Whatever Allah gives me. However, if I was to like have a preference, I'd like a girl. Why? Because I have a lot of mom friends who have boys, and I'm like, I don't think it's in it for me. I don't think it's I use girl momness, right? I don't think like I would sit down on a prayer and be like, Allah, pretty pretty, please give me a boy. I feel like I'd be very content to be a girl mom. So when I sat down with those thoughts, I was just like, okay, my preference is a girl. However, Allah, if you give me a boy, it is what you des you've desired for me and I will move along with it. However, throughout that pregnancy, Almost everyone, very few people were like, Ipti, you know what? I pray for you, you get whatever is held for you, but I pray it's a girl. Because you you look like uh Munta had this ones for you. Muta just like, Ipti, I hope it's a girl. But almost everyone else is who you are, who you are, who you're and also that to think about, I'm like, well, I understand it's what it's what society has made it sound like it's the right thing. You must have, you must experience both genders. But if you think about it, now, luckily for me, I'm in my 30s and I'm too opinionated. But I'm imagining a younger mom, right? A mom in her 20s who's been told, it must be a boy, it must be a boy, it must be a boy, and then they find out it's a girl. Like the weight on that person is almost like they should not be celebrating because, oh, she got a girl again, you know? And I almost feel like this is why Rasulallahu Alam even said in a hadith that whoever gives birth to two girls and raise them right, they will be together with me in Jannah like this. And I feel like it was it's something that's been happening over time for so long that people have made it sound like having a boy is that pride thing, that when you have girl, girl, girl, it's like, oh, yeah, we're gonna be able to do it. And I think we need to come back to this position where we actually realize that one, we don't have control over the gender that you get. And two, sometimes, actually, actually, sometimes, the moms who are okay with having all boys are okay with having all girls. We don't need this gender equality thing in our household where we must have both genders. Imagine, see must. So even when you come to see me as a new mom, please don't make that a thing. Like, I understand it might be a thing for you. Like personally, my mom had two of us, my brother and then myself. And that was the closed chapter. And so to me, it also sounded like normal to have both. But also, I know having like right now, honestly, when I was pregnant with with the baby M, Ruby would come and speak to my stomach all the time and be like, I want to get a baby sister. I want to get a baby sister. And when I look at people who have sisters, so I have I have two sisters, half sisters, but they don't live in Kenya. And every time I wish that they were here so that I could have that sister born. Now, sadly, my brother has to hear a lot of my sister banter, but you know, it is what it is. But I feel like having the sister born is so beautiful. So when you come into my house and start telling me, ah, I wish you kwampacham vlana, I find that so like out of respect, I might be, I might keep quiet and not necessarily respond. But most of the time, and people came and said things like that, you know, ah, and I actually responded. And mostly, I might not have sounded very respectful, so I don't know, and I don't know if I should say forgive me for that or it is what it is. But guys, there's also some things where please mustend for your preference on other people. Now, in this case, I actually wanted a girl. So Alhamdulillah, Allah bless me with what I prayed for, and and we got we got that. But now I'm imagining if I actually really wanted a boy, and then I got a girl, and then here you're coming and telling me, eh, a fudaling. What is the intention there? Sometimes wala to nawgeangabila kufkiria. So uko wantaka ni ni ni ni nyanze kulia nisewe, nge pwani, ngekwani bo asin tu mefkiria kulisa. Sometimes walaye tuume kataku tumea this god given brain. So again, ndiomanya tu me kaki kao le kukumbu shana wadao. Sila zima. Ukua umeshindo laku nasanengine na dui inaku inaku, inakusumbua pandani, andak enda kwa watsaku wwembe si tako wambe ebe de miniku anatakekama pate boy lakini, and patadei. It is what it is. Lakiku skuja kunbagi lembiye preference. Sowa, fantastic. Now, as I go to wrap up, these final few things that I think you should not do. Okay. First, it doesn't matter how many days you've been suffering with this mafua and cold. Na jole covet after two weeks, we are not no longer contagious. If you are sick, please, do not come to visit a new mom when you have a flu. Don't come and say, uh, any allergies. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Please, don't come. Don't come. I don't want to fall sick. I don't want my, I don't have, I don't want to have a newborn who is sick. Apo, mchanga, belly an adhazua ku ku ku kunya mazua unanimuna nyengeze wan blockia nose. Please, do not visit a new mom when you're sick. Tafadali. Ui, we, we, we, we, that one. Please, don't do it. Next thing that you shouldn't do. Ukishakuja sa, umetoko kumzururu, ee, umekuja sasakwangu, 4 p.m., that ideal time, mekuja ku visit, eh, bad aser. Mekuja ku kuni visit. U shapuga na wumbinini. Ukishakuja, o sham konu befor. Just sanitize. Okay, sir. Then, again, again, as I mentioned, this is for people who are not immediate family. Don't assume I'm okay with you carrying the baby. Don't assume. Ask, can I carry the baby? And if I am okay with you carrying the baby, I will tell you it's okay with you carrying the baby. Now you'll carry the baby. You barusa. Don't even ask me if you can kiss the baby. The answer is no. You cannot. You usijaribu. Sawa. Usi jaribu. Tafadali, keep your kisses to self, to your loved ones. Don't come kiss my baby. Have you seen how many cases of babies who've fallen sick, sick, like proper. What I don't I I wish I remembered that scientific name of those who go in jaws. Because they've been kissed by an adult who has to do what underlying things. Usiku.

unknown 28:05

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

In fact, this reminded me on Saturday, I was at uh Twin Rivers at Tigoni place. We usually go for picnics. We were outsiding for a picnic. Then this girl, she's probably like a teenager, came and said, Can I smell your baby? I was like, hi yeah. Eventually, we realized she wasn't mentally okay, but she kept insisting, can I smell your baby? That's the same thing. My friends, I know baby smells, you know, activating ovaries. Maybe sometimes, yeah, you've just been unwell for a while. You don't need to see, you don't need to carry the baby, you don't need to kiss the baby. So, if my friend, my cousin, my cousin Kofat Mahadi, um, in case you follow me, then you know, I have a first cousin Kofat Mahadi, who was married and um stayed for 12 years before she had a baby. She got her baby, she got her baby last year. And it's one of those most beautiful miracles to watch and see um happen and for her to become a mom. Alhamdulillah. Now I remember when I went to see her, um, I was pregnant. She is, she had just like, I think she was two, three weeks old, and we were talking about this whole people coming to visit you. And I remember her telling me, Ifti, at some point, we started leaving the baby in the room. So people come to visit, we sit in the sitting room, and so you've come to see me. Because again, and I and I found it so hilarious, but I'm like, you know what? At some point, you imagine that makes sense. Una kujapa, nyumba ni, ukuna mafuwa, ukunavumbi, umepakapu, umu jiza udi. Udi, ukupa unanu kia udi. And then you want to carry my baby and then give them now, they start sneezing. I'm like, hey, muna mwata kakakudsemesha waze, waze. So we are gathered here to make sure that now we know better. Because I know sometimes, yeah, in fact, I remember my friend Luchi came to see me, and then um she she carried the baby to see. So when she had left, she then texted me, she's just like, Ipti, was I allowed to do that? And I was just like, Don't worry. If you weren't, I'd have told you you're my person. It's okay. So I guess that sometimes if you've not had a baby, you know, you've not been exposed to such things, you might not actually know like what you can or shouldn't do. And I guess use this episode as that learning point so that you know better as well. At a way, next time we ended up, ah, na kumbuka ipisama dani suda konye konye podcast, fike kufany. Like, let's just let's learn this manner's kidogon. Now, lastly, lastly, lastly, before I wrap it up, do not wake up a baby. Uki niam shiam toto, uwezi jo mwatum kuji, uh shuna, hemu ni mwamshia ni muniangalo kishuna taki, nikyone kisura taki. Do not wake up, do not wake up a baby, please. Because you don't know how hard, how much hard work that mom might have put in place to make that baby sleep. Ukiamwwa mamshi, ka redi ukaina wam toto, pakota kapali shhatena. So please don't get carried away okay same. Shuntu shuntu, emo ni money machiaki, and pata mashanani godani mam shi, guddin eskake sautichaki akili. Uusi, oosi. Usterribu. Ayelala mwashenalale, please. Now snapi, ah, masamauya shapita, mwamam shia omlishe, tafadali. Mosha lale. Alale mpumzike, naya pomzike kili, to kyamka, we are both happy we miss each other. Tundio. Okay, guys. Nafel nikal kwan mekushika e my knika wasuta. And I know some people are like, hey, I've never consumed content where someone and an issue are bad on a squeezer. Guys, the reason I keep having these conversations because they are avoided topics. Just like my podcast name. People don't talk about these things because we have to go pa to the same one or to the same hours as you are squeezy, what you would need. Sometimes somebody must just come up and talk about these things so that we can, we as a society, just can do better. Cindy, thank you very much. Nakohayo Matache, this podcast was brought to you by HonorQuest. Thank you. See you next time. Bye.