Where to find men without the dating apps in 2026

Tired of the dating apps? Just because most people are addicted to the dating apps it doesn't mean you cannot find love outside of Hinge, bumble or any other dating app.

In this episode I give you 3 places where you can find available men organically that are exactly what you are looking for.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

And what I have been seeing in the last few years, probably the last couple years or so, is people really wanting to reconnect in real life to really let go of the apps. Welcome to Shift and Receive. I'm Alexandra Belrose, your host, hypnotherapist, and EFT tapping expert. I specialise in all things love, subconscious rewiring, and manifesting the amazing relationship and life you've always dreamed of. Let's get into it. If you are anything like me, all your coupled up friends, or the vast majority anyways, have met on the apps. And yet, whenever you get on it, you have this sense of like, ugh, I can't be bothered. Why can't I do it? And maybe you even start spiraling, is there something wrong with me? But everybody tells you to get on the apps. But also, you just really want to find love and meet someone nice and not have the typical conversation with men for them to never reply again, or probably worse, the dreaded that they'll just match but never actually speak to you. Not even after you've started the conversation. And the apps feel like that. I also think that the apps can be such triggers of all of your limiting beliefs. So why would you be feeding into them? You know the ones that I mean. The typical the men I like don't like me back, men are trash, men only want a sex, men are the worst, etc. etc. It really makes you feel like maybe you are doomed. I don't know anyone that likes the apps. I personally have always found them super overwhelming and not enjoyable in the least. The constant notifications of the likes and the conversations, and it never really goes anywhere. It's so annoying, and I know that I am not alone. Whenever I speak to single women, they all say they hate it, but they also feel like they have to be on the apps because otherwise, how will they meet someone? But the thing is that because of the apps, people have also lost the art of conversing, and we no longer do anything without looking at a screen. We are terrified of rejection, we are terrified of just talking, and what are they gonna think about me and if I come across as this or that, and there are just so many things that stop people from just getting off the apps, and we are just so addicted to screens. Have a look whenever you go out to coffee shops or even on public transport, even walking down the street, people are always looking at their screen or listening to something, and that is just not an inviting energy for someone to come and approach you or even to notice what's happening around you. But take it from me, I meet men everywhere, and I haven't been on the apps for years. So it is possible. I have met men on public transport. In fact, I have had relationships with men I have met on trains and public transport, I've met men on planes, in bars, museums, doing hobbies through friends, traveling, and I even had my Hallmark Christmas movie moment getting a date while I was buying my Christmas tree. I know, it's wild. So you are not doomed, and the world is certainly not doomed. But maybe try to not be looking at a screen all the time and have your earbuds in. The world is out there to be enjoyed. And I am also doing this. Every time that I go on my walks, I always put my headphones in, I don't really look at the world around me, and I'm very just focused on what I'm listening. That is just as bad as always looking at a screen. And what I have been seeing in the last few years, probably the last couple years or so, is people really wanting to reconnect in real life to really let go of the apps. So this is why I'm giving you here three places that you can meet men outside the apps so you can make 2026 your love year. But first, like I said, try to be a little bit more present. I can tell you where to go, but if you go there and spend all of your time on your phone, it won't matter where you go. I cannot tell you this enough. Get off your phone and smile to people, start conversations, do what we would have done when we didn't have phones. Okay, so the first thing that I do with my clients is recognize what passions they have. Maybe you've always liked pottery or you've always had an interest in wine. Can you join a course where you will be seen every week and build some relationships? And when I mean relationships is not necessarily meeting your person in that place, but it's really building relationships. Never go to a place with the intention of meeting your soulmate, your person there, because otherwise you're gonna feel so resentful if that doesn't work out and you don't get the outcome that you want. The reason that I'm asking your passions is because you are doing something that is also going to help you feel good about you and about yourself and connect you with your passions. If you have heard of Neville Goddard, he is one of the big manifestation fathers, I would say. And he used to say that feeling is the key when you are manifesting. So going in to a pottery class or a wine course with that sort of desperation of like, I need my future husband, my person to be there is just not going to work. But let's say that you have always wanted to learn more about wine and be able to be that person that knows the difference between the different wines on a wine list. Join a course, talk to people, build friendships with other people and with the teacher, with the staff. Let the universe, God, or your intuition, whatever you want to call it, guide you. When I was teaching business, I always said visibility is one of the most important things when you building your business. If people don't know you exist, they can't buy from you. And here is exactly the same. If you are always at home alone, people don't know you. Your person can't meet you. So this is about expanding your community, going out and meeting people, practicing your communication skills, letting you enjoy life and have a full life. Those new friends could introduce you to someone, to their brother, to their partner's best friend, or tell you about another activity where your person might be. Staying at home, hoping the love of your life is going to appear magically, is just not going to work. So try something different. I think it was Einstein that said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different outcome. If the apps haven't been working for you, if you hated the apps, go do something different. Go meet people instead of searching for your husband, go to places where you can actually make friends. Build a community that then someone can introduce you to someone else. Expand that community. Number two is around your goals. So have you got a specific goal for the year? It's sort of similar to the previous point that I was making. But if the first one leans on your passions and fun, this one can be maybe a little bit more serious. And when I talk about goals, it doesn't necessarily have to be like a very serious goal, but is not necessarily a passion. So maybe this can be that you were going for a promotion at work and you want to be a better manager. So you join a management course, you ask your employer to put you into a management course, or maybe you want to learn to give better presentations. So you join a Toastmasters group. Build a community with a golden mind. Maybe it is getting fit. So you join a running club. I know that the whole running club idea has been said a million times. And if you hate running, that is definitely not the way to go. Maybe you want to get fit, but you hate running. So maybe there is a group that likes hiking, or a group that meets up to talk about nutrition, or maybe it is a kookery class that teaches you how to, I don't know, count your macros or whatever it is, right? So if you hate running, don't join a running club. You would not see me at a running club even if I was paid. I hate running. I don't even run to get the bus. If I see the bus, I just think I will catch the next one. But there is a bond that gets created when people are working towards a similar goal. And really, if you want a serious man that has success in mind, that is ambitious, and is growth-minded, bettering himself, etc., this is where they are going to be in spaces that helps them towards their goals. And number three is doing things out of the norm. If my first and second point are really about building a community, expanding your horizons, meeting new people that are then going to maybe introduce you to someone, or maybe it starts as friendship and then you fall in love with someone. Number three is more about sparking a new sort of energy and also meeting people, but without the added recurring weekly thing, right? If you are in a course, if you're part of a club, you tend to meet weekly and you build that relationship with the people where they start getting to know you, where they become part of your group of people, right? This one is more about expanding your horizons for different things. So maybe it is to go into a gallery opening, to joining a lecture on something that you are interested in, to go to a Q ⁇ A evening with an author, etc. Ideally, you want to try to go to these where there is a little bit of a community after, where people are going to talk, to have a drink, to mingle, so you can actually talk to people. If you go to a lecture and there is nothing set up for that, it can feel very much like, well, I just go into this room and at the end I just leave and you haven't spoken to one person. That is not the point. Some people are going to stay and others won't, and that's perfectly fine. But try to see the ones that maybe are held in a bit more social setting. To be honest, if I'm really honest here, this is why the other two that I have said tend to be a little bit better. Because, like I was saying, it gives you time to build a relationship over time. You see each other over a period of time, and it gets easier to, you know, start a conversation when you have seen someone three weeks in a row and you know the name, but you've never spoken, maybe, and also you have that thing in common. Here it can be a little bit more like, oh, maybe I just have one day free, or maybe I'm just in this city for this specific thing, or things like that. So it can be a little bit harder to build those relationships. Still not impossible. I went to a lecture not too long ago about neuroplasticity and habits and beliefs, which is one of my passions, right? Is what I teach, is what I help my clients to do, is one of my passions. And I spoke to some really amazing people and I got some numbers, and you can really have interesting conversations. So if there is something specific that you are interested in, and it's maybe just a one-off lecture, go to those. But just a little caveat here: these do tend to require to be a little bit more ballsy because you might have to start a conversation because the time is really short. You are only there for a few hours, maybe an hour, maybe a couple hours. So you might have to actually reach out to people. And you don't want to be in one of those situations yet again, because we have all been through this, where you actually see someone that you were attracted to that could be interesting, but you actually never speak to them and you never see them again. What a lost opportunity. Now, these are places people gather most of the time with other phones, and you can build something. If you are at a pottery class, you don't tend to have your phone with you. However, like I said before, do not go to those with the expectation that this is where I will meet my soulmate. Go with the expectation that you are doing something for you and that it will be fun, that it will be interesting, that it gets you out of the house, that it gets you out of thinking about work or your business. So try things, try new hobbies. I have tried so many different things, but also try to be in more mixed environments or more social environments, the kind where you have to go for a drink. I have done theatre courses, for example, and drama performances and things, and every time we meet at the pub, we go to see plays and uh movies, etc. And that is an excellent way to say, well, there aren't a lot of men or straight men in these types of things, but they bring their friends. We do social things, we meet on weekends, and therefore you're still expanding your social group. But this is also to say, don't go to just finance bros meetings if you have zero interest in finance because men will be there. Don't go somewhere just because men are there. Go because that thing is very enjoyable for you. If this is making any sense. Because I feel like I have gone on a few different tangents here. But here we are. So something that I always get asked as well is single nights. I used to be the queen of single nights before the whole sort of downfall of online apps. So I have done so many of these, and I have had some good, interesting conversations and evenings. I definitely don't regret, but I find that it can have a little bit of a desperate energy that it did not appeal to me ultimately. However, do try them, they can be quite fun, and you can really meet some great people. I have been on dates, I have actually made friends, and you really can build some connections. So, all of this to say that I know life is busy. You have a demanding job or a demanding business that already takes a lot of your time, and the ease of the apps is so enticing. But instead of thinking that it has to be a numbers game, that you have to be constantly scrolling and swiping and going on so many different dates, go enjoy life intentionally. Live life intentionally, but also that you enjoy. You don't need to suddenly go to all of the most expensive private members' clubs or gyms just to meet someone that is going to have money or be successful or anything like that. Go to the places that feel good to you. Meet people that are going to be part of your community, that you want them to be your kind of people. There are so many more things that I can say about this, but I will leave it here. And if you have any other suggestions of where you can meet people offline, leave them in the comment. I will respond to everything, and I look forward to seeing you in a future episode.