The real reason your love life isn't matching your life

You have the career, the self-awareness, the beautiful life and you are still single while someone you know, someone who seems like an absolute mess, just got engaged.

If that has ever hit you like a slap in the face, this episode is for you.

In this episode of Shift and Receive, I am getting into one of the most painful and misunderstood patterns in manifesting love: the moment you start comparing yourself to someone who "should not" have love before you, and what that comparison is actually doing to your ability to attract it. This is one of the subtler ways we put love outside of ourselves, and it is one of the most important things to understand if you are serious about changing your love life.

What You'll Learn:

• Why seeing your "chaos friend" get married can send your manifesting completely off track
• The exact trap your logical brain falls into when it starts listing all the reasons you deserve love
• Why love has absolutely nothing to do with merit, achievements, weight, career, or how much work you have done on yourself
• What "birthright" actually means in the context of manifesting, and why it changes everything
• The devastating way high-achieving women put love outside of themselves without realising it
• Why the women who find love easily are not doing more
• How subconscious rewiring gets you to that belief faster than anything else

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Or maybe it's your neighbor that always looks like an absolute mess. They always have drama in their life, and yet they are able to find love when it seems like it's impossible for you. It can feel like a slap in the face. Welcome to Shift and Receive. I'm Alexandra Belrose, your host, hypnotherapist, and EFT tapping expert. I specialize in all things love, subconscious rewiring, and manifesting the amazing relationship and life you've always dreamed of. Let's get into it. Here is a story that probably you are going to resonate with. A friend of mine saw someone from her past just getting married. And this person used to be like her chaos friend. The one that always had terrible relationships, that always had boy problems, that never seemed to be able to keep anyone. And in fact, she had also heard some stories about her friend's current husband and how it had been a tumultuous relationship to start with, and eventually they got married. When she saw it on social media, she literally just went into why did she get married when she was absolute chaos and I'm still single. And this might resonate. If you've got yet another friend that has gotten married and you keep wondering why them and not you, your logical brain is going to take you down that route of looking for all the reasons of why you do deserve love. And the opposite too, but I'll get into that in a minute. So your logical brain is literally looking for all the reasons of why you are so good and so deserving to have love. Like you have an amazing career, or maybe an amazing business, and you have friends, and you know how to take care of yourself, and you have done a lot of work on yourself, and you travel and you are kind and you are beautiful, and all of these amazing things that I know you have. And then you have this other person. Maybe, like I said, they are a friend or just an acquaintance, or maybe it's your neighbor that always looks like an absolute mess. They always have drama in their life, and yet they are able to find love when it seems like it's impossible for you. It can feel like a slap in the face. But the only thing that you are doing by going down that route is putting love outside of you. Your logical brain wants to think of all the logical reasons why you do deserve that love. But the more you put love as something external of you, the less you're gonna be able to find it. Love is not something that you deserve out of merit, that you deserve because you are kind or because you have done well in your career, or you have done well at school and you are well educated. It's something that you deserve because it's your birthright. Love is your birthright. And that is something that I don't want you to forget. In this world of constantly improving ourselves, and I think for us millennials, we have done so much work on ourselves going to therapy and working on healing your inner child or your inner teenager and past experiences, and we've had so many less than ideal experiences in love in general, that it can feel a little bit like, oh, if I'm not getting this thing that I want, it's because I need to do more work on myself. And because you have done all of this work, you do know that you have amazing qualities. You do know that there are reasons why you should be chosen and why you should be loved. But yet you still don't feel like you should be chosen. And of course, there is the other side as well of you see someone that gets married or gets engaged or in a new happy relationship, and immediately you compare yourself to them and you think, oh, it's because I am not my ideal weight, or it's because they have this beautiful hair, or they have the amazing career and I don't. Again, this is putting love as something external or something that you need to earn. And maybe from your childhood you have built a belief around love needs to be earned, but I am here to tell you that love is your birthright, that the more you put it as something external of you, the harder it is going to be to manifest love. Because we are never perfect. And if you really look at your friends, those that you know so well, and that they are in relationships, you know that they're not perfect. You know that they also wonder, that they also think, oh, I should lose some weight, or they're not happy with their current jobs, or their business is struggling, and yet they're still finding love. It's because they are not putting their worth towards their achievements, but their worth is just their birthright. That is the one thing that is always happening in the background. And I see this with so many women that I have asked, they just know that they can have it, that they are deserving of that love. That it isn't that they got love because they got a promotion at work, or because they can do a hundred squats a day, or because they are a specific weight. It's got nothing to do with that. They just know that they bring something to the table, and that is them. So the version of you that already is in a happy relationship doesn't think, oh, I can only stay in this relationship if I have this thing or if this thing goes well. She just knows that she is. And that is why subconscious rewiring is so important when you are manifesting love. Because the rewiring part is the easiest part to overcome all of this and be able to embody that version of you that already has love. Because manifesting love isn't about constantly being and doing and working and analyzing and being aware and doing even more and healing even more. This is about making your subconscious 100% safe and truly believe that you are deserving of love simply because you just are. Not because you have to become something different, or you have to be something different, or you have to lose the weight, or dress differently, or change anything about you. It's because love is your birthright and your desires are meant for you. And that is why you deserve love. That is why you can have love. It isn't because you are kind, not because you are beautiful, which I know that you are, but because it's just what you're meant to have. Because you want it, you can have it. And subconscious rewiring with embodiment work just gets you there so much faster. But really, just stop putting love as something external of you. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you have enjoyed it, please leave a five star review and make sure that you follow Shift and Receive wherever you are listening. And if you are ready to change your love life, take my quiz What is your biggest love block, to discover what is blocking you right now in your love life. You have the link in the show notes.