The EXACT step to manifest love this Spring

Spring is here, and you want to find love. Let me give you the blueprint.

In this episode, I am sharing my full step-by-step on how to manifest love this spring and summer, including the things nobody else puts in these lists. We cover getting clear on what you actually want, becoming a match to the person you are calling in, making space in your life and your home, and why your nervous system needs to be ready to receive what you have been asking for. I also share the story of the man who did what I wanted and why it gave me the most spectacular ick of my life, and what that moment taught me about subconscious rewiring.

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Transcript

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And in that moment, I got the biggest ick of my life. I just couldn't cope with the fact that we were in a pub and this person had just brought me flowers. My stomach just sank and I had this awkward face on. Thinking, oh my god, what do I do now? Welcome to Shift and Receive. I'm Alexandra Belrose, your host, hypnotherapist, and EFT tapping expert. I specialise in all things love, subconscious rewiring, and manifesting the amazing relationship and life you've always dreamed of. Let's get into it. Hi guys! We are nearly in May and the sun is shining, it's not very warm, but it just gives you all the feels of wanting to manifest love. The spring, the love is in the air kind of vibes. And maybe you're even thinking, okay, I want to find love this spring, this summer. How do I do this? Give me a blueprint. Because I'm very much of a blueprint kind of girl. Give me the step by step. I will do the steps. But spring always brings all the feelings of wanting to go on picnics and do all the things with someone else other than your friends that you have seen all winter and trying new places, doing all the things. We are slowly starting to come out of hibernation, and I am the first one to say I have been so excited for this. I am not a winter kind of girl. So let me give you my step-by-step on how to manifest love if you are feeling cold to not spend spring and summer by yourself. I was talking about this with a friend that has been single for quite a long time now. She went through a bad breakup and she just swore off love. But this spring she's slowly starting to warm up to the idea. And the first thing that I had to say to her is instead of looking for a partner, looking for your husband, the father of your kids, whatever vision you have for your future in love, is first to let loose. Have fun. Find your sexy energy, your magnetic energy. And that energy is then going to expand and help you manifest the thing that you want. But first, you need to be open to that energy. So just have fun. Go out, go to gigs, meet new people, start a new hobby, smile and talk to people at the coffee shop. Anything that just starts sparking something in you that sends that signal that you are open for opportunities, for meeting people, for attracting more fun into your life. This reminds me of a client that I was talking to a few weeks ago who came to me saying that because she is quite shy, she feels like she is not the kind of warm person that people gravitate to, and she has missed so many opportunities in the love department and also the friendship department because she is always either staying at home or just not looking approachable. So now that the weather is warm, open up a little bit, smile a little bit more, go to different places, get that energy flowing. That is my first tip here. But let me get you my step-by-step because again, we love a step-by-step. So the first thing I would say here is to get clear. Be very specific. What is it that you want? And it is completely valid to just want a summer fling, or to just want a night of fun, or someone to go on dates with. Maybe you want a specific date. I have a friend that has always wanted a pottery date. Maybe that's what you want to manifest. Be very specific. I have always been so good at manifesting what I wanted. So I could test out what I wanted. And that is also something that you can do. For example, I would say, oh, I want a summer fling with a guy that loves partying, that is gonna be so much fun, is going to make me laugh all the time. And within two weeks, that happened. But maybe you want someone that you can go watch sports with, or maybe that reads, so you can go to all of the book festivals, or maybe someone that is into festivals, music festivals that you can hang out with, that now you have a partner to do all of those festivals with, because maybe your friends no longer can go to those festivals because they're married, have kids, or are busy. Be specific. And also don't be afraid to test out things. When I first moved to London, I was adamant that I wanted a boyfriend who read. Because all the boyfriends that I had before, none of them were really into reading. This is not to say that they were stupid. I really wanted someone that I could share my books with, my stories with, that we could sit down on a Sunday morning and each be reading our books. And just that was the vision that I had in my head and I wanted. And then I manifested a guy that loved reading, but he didn't like reading the same books as me, so we could never talk about books. He had zero interest about my books. And he was also a smoker, so he would just read outside and never with me. So that completely backfired. But then it really helped me to say, okay, maybe someone that reads, but maybe not someone that their entire life is about reading. Because this guy would read three books a week. Obviously, depending on the size of the book. But that is all he did. There was nothing else going on. So eventually I was like, well, I don't want to just be reading. But I tried it on for size. I thought that this was what I wanted, and it turned out that it wasn't. Or at least not fully. And I can probably give you so many other examples of this. Of just saying, okay, I want this specific quality or this specific thing, but then when I had it, I realized that maybe that is not all it was cracked up to be, and that actually I enjoyed this other thing. You also evolve with time. You are gonna change your taste, the things that you like, the things that spark your interest. All of that is going to change. So let your specificity also change and evolve as you change and evolve. But the one thing that I do want to mention here is that when I am talking about specificity, don't fall for the shallow kind of specificity. About 10 years ago, when I was working with my very first love coach, she had this really great exercise that I have used to manifest other things, not just love, but I used it to manifest my home here in London, and I have used it to manifest jobs in the past. It is a great exercise. But when it came to love, I was very shallow with this exercise. And again, it works, but it's not really what I want, if this makes sense. I hope it makes sense after I explain the exercise. But what I mean here is don't focus so much on what they look like, but more in how they make you feel and what their traits are. Instead of saying I want a six-foot-tall guy that works in finance and is blonde and blue-eyed, maybe focus on someone I'm attracted to, someone that I find is hot, but that makes me feel safe, that they are good in a crisis, someone that I can rely on, someone that is thoughtful, that is consistent. Because those are the traits that you want to have in a partner. So the exercise is if you take a piece of paper and you divide it in three columns, the first column is going to be your non-negotiables, the things that this person really has to be or has to have. So this can be that they are reliable, that they are consistent, that they are kind. Then you have your second column, which is going to be your nice to haves. This could be maybe that they align politically with you if you are not a super political person. Though of course, here we're talking of, you know, not extreme or intense political views, but it could be it would be nice if they lived in the same city. It would be nice if they weren't divorced, maybe. Whatever that is for you, they are not as important as your non-negotiables. For example, for me, I have a non-negotiable of anyone that has like an addiction, whether that is smoking or drugs, things like that, I just have a non-negotiable with that. And of course, I have a non-negotiable that they have to be a good person. But then your second column is going to be those things that you think, well, that's nice, but it's not necessary that they have. And then your third column is going to be the cherry on top. It's those things that if they had those qualities, it would be amazing. But if they also didn't have them, it would still be completely fine and so great. And I would say that here is where you could be probably a bit more talking about the looks. Maybe it would be amazing if they are 6'2. Maybe it would be amazing if they had amazing hair. Or maybe it would be amazing if nothing else is coming to mind. But I hope you know what I mean. So you have your first column is going to be your non-negotiables, your second column is going to be your nice to have, and the third column is going to be the cherry on top. That is going to help you get so clear and so specific in the person that you are manifesting. Then the second step is to become that person. So if, for example, you really want someone that reads a lot, do you think that that person is going to date someone that has never picked up a book? Probably not. If you want a person that is very much into sports, that they're very healthy, but you have not stepped into a gym in 10 years and are constantly eating fast food, they are probably not going to be interested in that. If you want someone that can communicate, that can talk about their feelings, that can be open to growth, you also have to be that. The person that has worked on themselves to be able to communicate in tough moments are also gonna expect the same from their partner. So I want you to go back to that three-column exercise and be like, okay, am I a match to this person? These non-negotiables that I have on a piece of paper, am I also those things? Then the third step is to really enjoy life. I can't say this enough. You have to enjoy your life, you have to be living your life. Because the high-quality person that you want to be attracting in your life, you are going to be so much more magnetic to them in an energy of being happy, in an energy of feeling like life is so great. And this doesn't mean that you always have to be happy, that you always have to pretend that life is so great. We all go through ups and downs. But have a full life, enjoy life, have your own hobbies, go out, meet people, talk to people, do fun things. That is an energy that creates momentum, and then you have better opportunities, more invitations to do things, more ideas to do other things, energy to go to other places, to meet new people, to make new friends. And all of these connections, every single step can take you closer to your person. But if you are always at home thinking life is shit, that is not a magnetic energy. But then this also takes me to the next point, point four, to clear your space and make space. What I have seen with some of my clients as well is that they have such a full life that they don't have space for anyone to come in. And with this point, there's two parts of it. One is the space of your own time, but also there's the space in your own like physical space, which I'll get to in a minute. If you follow the point that I just said about enjoying your life, like I said, it starts creating a momentum. And suddenly you have a lot of plans, you have a lot of things to do, and all of those could let you to meet someone, but also if you were to meet someone, would you have time to date that someone? Maybe you meet someone at a gig with some friends that you had met three weeks ago, and you suddenly got invited to this, you meet someone there, but your calendar is already so busy for the next two, three weeks that when this person asks, Oh, do you want to go out for a drink or for dinner or anything? You're like, Oh yeah, but it'll have to be in three and a half weeks. By that point, they have lost interest, you have lost interest, and it's never going to happen. So also have some space for you to be dating your future person. This can be having a nice meal at home or just creating some time every Saturday morning to go for a nice walk. So you always have space in your energy for that person to come in. I have talked about this before, but the universe hates empty space. So it is going to feel that empty space. And that's where you have to hold that boundary of like every Saturday morning is for my person. Even if that person has not appeared yet, that Saturday morning, every Saturday morning, is specifically for you to spend time with your person. And maybe you spend the morning visualizing or doing the activity that you would love to be doing with them. Whether that is reading on the sofa or having a nice breakfast or going for a walk or going for a hike. But this is time spent with you, for you, and your future person, partner, husband, whatever you want to call it. Create that space. And then there is the physical space. This is an old Feng Shui belief. If you don't have space in your home for someone to come in and put in their things or just physically be there, it's gonna be a lot harder to attract that into your life. So, for example, if you sleep in a single bed, it's gonna be very, very difficult to manifest as someone coming in because subconsciously you're already telling yourself that I am single, there is only space for me. If in your home there is no space for a person to have their toothbrush there, a drawer there, their underwear for whenever they stay over, or their pajamas or shirts or whatever, that is also sending this signal of like there is no space for anyone in my life. Every single piece of storage is already taken by my life. So create space. Declutter a little bit. We are in spring, spring clean sessions are on right now, so declutter. How can you have an extra drawer, an extra half of a wardrobe so they can hang things? Do you have a little bit of space in the bathroom for them to have their things there as well? Have a look at that. And then I could not be giving you a blueprint on how to manifest love without talking about rewiring your patterns and your beliefs because it's what I do. That's what I help people with. I would be doing you a disservice to not be telling you the importance of rewiring your patterns and your beliefs around love. Especially as you have grown and evolved and you have probably done work on yourself and gone to therapy or read books, whatever it is, you have evolved. But your subconscious might have not caught up with it yet. Or maybe it has to a certain point, but you don't know how to fully embody the new pattern, the new you, the new beliefs. So then if you don't reinforce the new pattern, you go backwards. You go back to the old belief. I will give you an example of something that happened to me a few years ago. I was doing a lot of work on myself, a lot of like getting clear on what I wanted and visualizing and everything that I was telling you in the first point of this list, of this step-by-step. And it was a time when my whole Instagram was giving me a lot of happy couples, a lot of cute things around love. And one of those was men bringing flowers to their partners. So I was seeing all of these cute reels, cute posts of all these men bringing flowers and how amazing it was, and how well the women felt they were treated because these men were bringing them flowers, and probably was so much more, but I just remember the flowers. So I started dating a guy, and I was very clear that I also wanted flowers. Anyways, he makes plans to meet up on our first date, and we were going to this pub. It seemed to be like fairly casual. And as I'm standing there in this pub, I see him come over with flowers. And in that moment, I got the biggest ick of my life. I just couldn't cope with the fact that we were in a pub and this person had just brought me flowers, and this is what I really wanted, and what I had visualized and said that I really, really wanted. Like the one thing that I was like, oh yeah, this is going to prove to me that I have made it in my manifestation because the guy is bringing me flowers, and my stomach just sank, and I had this awkward face on, thinking, oh my god, what do I do now? These flowers, we're in a pub, crowded pub, we can't sit anywhere. Now I can't drink because stupid flowers are like I felt angry, I had the ache, I couldn't anymore. This really just proves that you can want something, but if your nervous system is not ready to receive that, when you do receive it, you will push it away. There was nothing wrong with this guy. He was so nice. We had been talking for about a week. He worked not too far from where my office was. It was fine. There was nothing wrong with him. What was wrong was my belief. I got so much the ick in that moment that I had to go to the toilet and start tapping so I could regulate my nervous system and I could start enjoying the date with this person who was so nice, but my nervous system was in full, complete panic mode, danger mode. This is not okay. Because it associated flowers with the guy having done something wrong and buying flowers to try and fix it. I had a boyfriend many, many years ago who cheated on me and bought flowers after to apologize, and my brain just made the association. Flowers equals that they have done something wrong, equals that I can't be safe, equals I need to run away. I need to push this person away. But of course, the person in front of me hadn't done anything wrong. We had just met, but that pattern, that belief was still running in my subconscious. And that is why you can want something, but if your subconscious doesn't feel it safe, when you do get it, it's going to feel horrible. And that's the power of rewiring your patterns and changing those beliefs. Rewiring your subconscious. That is the work that I do inside of my program Adored. If you want to become the woman that inspires devotion, that gets the flowers and feels safe to get the flowers, that it gets the treatment that she's always wanted and feels safe in receiving that, go check it out. I'm gonna put the details in the show notes because this is life-changing work. I'm talking going deep about your beliefs, changing those patterns, rewiring your subconscious, all of the juicy things that really help you manifest love and make it feel safe too, which is the key. Anyways, to just wrap it up about that date, we had a really good time. Once I went to the bathroom and I was tapping for a little bit because I was also worried that he was gonna think that I had run away or that I had some problems in the bathroom. But I just did a little bit of tapping. I calmed down my nervous system, I felt so much more regulated, and I was able to enjoy the date. And then we did go on a few dates after. Eventually, he actually moved away to Australia and we stopped dating. But just that experience taught me so much. I learned so much from that, and I was so glad for the experience because I could have been really focusing on having the flowers on so many little things that I had visualized on how I wanted my person to be, but that didn't feel safe to have when I received. So it opened a whole can of worms for me to work on that I think worked so great. So tell me, is there anything else that you would add to this list on how to manifest love? Is there something that you always do to manifest the date, to attract people? Do you have any secrets that you want to share with all of us? I would love to hear. And I will see you in a next episode. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you have enjoyed it, please leave a five star review and make sure that you follow Shift and Receive wherever you are listening. And if you are ready to change your love life, take my quiz What is your biggest love block to discover what is blocking you right now in your love life? You have the link in the show notes.