Self Formation | Jake Vayda

This week, we continued our Created for This series by looking at Exodus 16 and the story of God providing manna in the wilderness. We talked about how some habits that once helped us survive can eventually begin to trap us—and asked the question: what if your coping strategy has become your cage?

We explored how God cared for the whole person—mind, body, and feelings—and how His daily provision was teaching the Israelites to trust Him one day at a time. Instead of living through control, comfort, or self-sufficiency, God invites us into daily dependence and transformation.

The reminder this week was simple but powerful: you don’t have to carry everything on your own. God still provides daily bread for weary minds, overwhelmed emotions, and exhausted souls.

Transcript

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Name the movie. Wilson! Wilson! Yeah, there you go. That's good. Castaway. It's a movie, Tom Hanks, early 2000s. He's stranded on an island. What would you do? Stranded on an island. Well, of course, he builds a fire and gets shelter. And then he's lonely. It's just him. It's just him on the island. So he gets a beach volleyball, puts a smiley face on it, cuts up the top, puts grass as hair, and all of a sudden he's found his first friend on the island, Wilson. All is good, gets a raft, wants to be recovered, and he's bringing Wilson. He goes to bed, he wakes up, and Wilson is far away in the ocean. He jumps in. Wilson, I'm crying. You're crying. Tom Hanks is crying. Why am I crying about a volleyball? And it's sad, but it also was, I believe, a necessary step for him because he did ultimately get recovered and uh he went back to life. Imagine if Wilson never passed away or drifted away, might be a better way of saying it. What would happen? Uh Tom Makes would probably be in job interviews with Wilson right next to him. Uh he'd probably be meeting, you know, maybe some girls on first dates with Wilson in his lap. Right? I mean, this is his only friend. I mean, I would keep this is a coping mechanism, right? Like, like he has Wilson now. You know, he'd be going to sleep with Wilson. Let's say he gets married and you know, they want to get a little frisky at night, and she finally puts over the covers and Wilson is there in the bed. Okay, well. Sometimes we have coping mechanisms that helped us in a certain season, but might not be instrumental for the next season. Have you realized that? Maybe even growing up, you had a coping mechanism. Maybe you thought about everything and it helped you take your next steps, but now it's leading you to catastrophizing and you have extreme anxiety. Or maybe for you, when it comes to your body, you've learned how to push it. What's the high school musical? Push it, push it to the limit, live it, because we're in it to win. You push your body to the limit, and you've done it, and now you're pushing your body to the limit, and you're exhausted and you're burnt out. It helps you in a certain season, but maybe now it's not helpful bringing it into the next season. Sadly, for a lot of us, we have coping mechanisms that helped us survive, but now is a lid to us thriving in life. In fact, that's the question. If you're taking fill-ins today, if you're writing in the connection card or the fill-in card, is the question I want to answer. What if your coping strategy has become your cage? What if your coping strategy has become your cage? Here's what's at stake. If we do not learn maybe to release some of the coping strategies that are not now helping us in our life, uh here's what what's gonna happen. Uh for a lot of us, uh, we've learned that coping strategies haven't necessarily worked in adulthood or in this next season you're going into. Um statistically, merely uh three out of ten adults in the U.S. have been diagnosed with depression at some point, which is a dramatic increase over any time in the history of the world. Emotionally, more than half of young people say their body image negatively affects their mental health when it comes to their body. Uh physically, obesity rates have climbed uh over uh 40%, which is a 10% climb from years before. So our coping strategies might not be working. If we're more mentally frustrated, more physically frustrated, more emotionally frustrated, but here's also what's at stake is your relationships. The people that you love the most are often the people who are being negatively affected by our coping strategies that no longer work. So, what do we do with a coping strategy that has become our cage? I want to introduce you to a group of people called the Israelites. They were freed from slavery. Now they're in the desert, thousands of people. Talk about the trauma. Talk about the coping strategies that might have worked in one season, but probably won't work now. They probably had a bunch of them. And now they're figuring out what do I do in the middle of the desert? Thousands of people. And here's what happened: God gave them five things, just five things. And it transformed a group of refugees into the greatest movement the world has ever seen. That's why today I want to continue our series called Created for This, discovering the life that God has designed for you to live. Last week we looked at one of those practices. Today I want to look at a second one, and it's called self-formation. It's discovering how do we form ourselves in the way of love. This is what you desire, this is what I desire. In fact, uh, one of the things I want to talk about is that God frees us to form us in these five ways. So I want to talk about three strategies, three coping strategies that we all have to attempt to form ourselves in the way of love. And some of them maybe haven't really worked out super great for you or for me. Hey, if it's your first time, I'm so glad you're here. I met a couple of you beforehand. Uh, we'd love to give you a gift at Create Corner right after, or see you at Ready Set Create for the free lunch afterwards as well. Something you need to know, we are a Bible-believing, Bible preaching church, and today we'll be in Exodus 16. If you'd like to open up there, we also have it on the screen. Here's where the story picks up. Verse 2 says, In the desert, the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt. There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into the desert to starve the entire assembly to death. Isn't it interesting? Last week we looked at it. They were celebrating, I mean, worshiping the Lord, like you freed us from slavery, like we are free, free at last. I mean, things were looking good, and now a couple weeks later, they are screaming at God, grumbling, uh, spreading rumors. There is so many of them are like a cancer to the society that God wants to build, and they're grumbling. So, of course, as someone who you know wants to be historically accurate, I look back. But theologians, they don't have any record of the Israelites actually in starvation. This was more the anxiety of having no food than the reality of having no food. Have you ever been there catastrophizing what the future could look like, although God is providing what you need today? I mean, their celebrations were unheralded, and they drink an anxiety cocktail and they're all shook up. They're grumbling before, why? I'd rather go back to Egypt. Isn't that crazy? I want to go back to Egypt where I was in slavery because I have so much anxiety. Where is your anxiety right now? It might not be food. Is it a relationship? Is it the budget? Is it the career? Is it sleep? Is it the mental struggle? Is it the body image? Where's your anxiety right now that might be keeping you from seeing what God is providing today? Let's keep going. They're grumbling, they're complaining. Then the Lord, Exodus 4, 16, 4, says, I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions. So they're complaining, right? They're grumbling. And God hears their grumbling. I mean, if God hears their complaining, how much more does he hear your prayers? If God answered their grumblings, how much more does he desire to answer your prayers and anxieties today? Bread from heaven. We'll learn later. This was called manna, unleavened bread from heaven, directly down so they could be supplied every single day. What a beautiful thing. But if you notice, there's one specific part that was interesting about this. It says, the people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. That was what they needed to do. God desires to provide. In fact, if you're taking notes, this is uh one of the first fill-ins, is manna. What is it? It's God's daily nourishment for the whole self. Mind, body, feelings. It's God's daily nourishment for the whole self. Do you believe that God will provide what you need today? They did have to do something. They had to go out each day and to gather what they needed. It's interesting. Imagine being hungry. You were fed the day before, but you wake up hungry. And God said He's gonna provide manna, but you're probably a little bit nervous of like, you know, unzipping the tent and going out, like, all right, hope, hope, hope it's gonna be here, right? Like that's that's stressful. But that's what they were supposed to do. And in fact, I think God was training them. It's like a training ground of trust. Do you trust that I'll provide tomorrow? Do you trust I'm gonna provide tomorrow? And all of a sudden, this was forming him in a way, forming them in a way that uh would rely on Jesus for their daily sustenance. You don't have to hoard, you don't have to panic, you don't have to run back to slavery in Egypt. You can depend on me today. I will meet you again tomorrow. Daily trust. And it reshapes the self from the inside out. And that's what God wants to do for you today. In your mind, He wants uh gathering daily bread teaches you to stop living ten steps ahead. In your feelings, he wants to uh you to know that he's a safe place for you to emote all the things that you're going through. In your body, he wants you to trust that you don't have to keep striving. In fact, he will give you what you need. He gave me enough for today, he will meet me again tomorrow. Maybe that's something you say over yourself when you're anxious. He gave me enough for today, he will meet me again tomorrow. And this sounds pretty. It sounds very cute, right? This is what a pastor would say, because it's in the scripture. So I'm just reading scripture here, and it's extremely difficult, right? Like this is a hard thing to do. How do I, oh God, you provide a day, and you'll just meet me again tomorrow. I don't need to have any anxiety. My feelings are good, my mind, my body. That's a hard place to be. How many of you know that is a hard place to be? Maybe you're not there at all right now. In fact, I think we all have three coping mechanisms. Uh we know Wilson uh was Tom Hanks. Coping mechanism. Your coping mechanism for getting what you need. What is it? I think there's three strategies when it comes to God providing daily bread in reaction. What are the what's your coping mechanism? Here's the first one if you want to write it down. Uh many of us, I believe, in this room, uh, attempt to make our own manna. In fact, you can write this down. Making manna is control. This is a coping mechanism. Making manna is control. In fact, the scarcity mindset. These people who were enslaved, they must have had a scarcity mindset. And we see it in scripture. It says this, then Moses said to them, No one is to keep any of it until morning. However, some of them paid no attention to Moses and they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. We try to control the circumstance so I don't have to depend on God. That's a better place to be, because I don't want to have to depend on anybody but myself. I'm a self-made man, overnight success. That's who I want to be. I don't want to depend on somebody else. 1818. An 18-year-old woman with her fiance. Uh, go to Switzerland, European couple, uh, for the summer and pouring down rain. So they have to entertain themselves. They're inside. And uh they say, hey, for tonight, uh, let's see who can write the best horror story. Okay, great. So they go in their corners, they write their stories, and they come back. And uh her story was about a man who wants to create another human but not biologically. What if I scientifically could create a human? So he goes to slaughterhouses and gets different parts of a human body, and then finally, concoction of a human, puts it all together, and then it breathes. Anyone know what this is? Frankenstein. The first words in the adapted movie a hundred years later was he's alive! He's alive! Now I know what it feels like to be God. Word for word. That's what the movie says. But as we know, Frankenstein, you know, wasn't the bachelor, you know what I mean? He was not looking that good. You know what I mean? He's a piece of fragments, you know, pretty tall and slender and has a lot of scars, and people were scared of him. In fact, he was rejected by society. I'm wondering if some of us try to form ourselves. Have you ever heard the term self-help? Um, books, podcasts, skincare routines, longevity habits, morning routines, right? All of these awesome things. I wonder if some of us try to control ourselves by maybe reading this book. It's like a little piece of my body, and I'm gonna get this skincare routine. I'm gonna put it all together, and I'm gonna be, I'm gonna hope it's enough for me to be whole. Finally, I can be whole again. If I just do enough self-help, if I just really push myself to read the book, if I work out hard enough, if I and then all of a sudden you're you, but it it maybe ended up like a like bread full of maggots and and begins to smell. It's it starts good. Self-help is not bad. I do a lot of the I have a skincare routine, Savannah. I do. Put water on my face at night. Skin care routine. I read books, I do leadership podcasts, I mean I do these things. But if we're doing it so that we can finally be whole, so we can finally be enough, we end up feeling like Frankenstein, fragmented, separated, not enough. Have you ever realized that sometimes the more you go into self-help stuff, sometimes like the worse you feel because there's always another book, there's always another skincare routine, there's always another makeup set, there's always another shirt to buy, there's always something else to do, and it just feels like you're never enough. But we do this so we can try to control, so it can be on my terms and my way, and that's how we become my best self. What are you trying to frankens sign your way? Or sorry, where are you trying to frankens sign your way into becoming your whole self right now? Where are you trying to frankensine your way into becoming your whole self? Piecing together through achievements and approval and self-improvement. The problem comes when it comes to self-help when we're trying to edge God out of the equation. I'm doing it myself. But the reality is, this is a beautiful quote, that deep knowing of God and deep knowing of self always evolve interactively. If you're trying to edge out the person that created you, that's probably not a good way to learn about yourself as the create did. These are great additions, but they cannot be a replacement to first receiving from our creator. So, yes, go to therapy, read the book, work out, build these routines. But would you first consider receiving from your father before you achieve in your own strength? So that's a coping mechanism to control, to make the manna, just like the Israelites did. But here's a second one. Maybe that's not you. Maybe you're like, hey, I'm not about this whole control thing. I'm like, let go, let God, like I do my own thing. Like he can, like that's not you. Maybe this next one's you. This is a second coping mechanism. Waiting in the tent. I'll just wait in the tent. Waiting in the tent is comfort. It's the second coping mechanism. You know, and honestly, this one uh I don't I don't really relate to. Like I'm I'm kind of the achiever guy, right? The control guy. I want to control everything uh to become my best self. Edge got out. Um, and that's what I thought until I I remembered a moment in my life. Uh it was a moment where my heart went from here to like my stomach. Have you ever had one of those moments? Like you're on a roller coaster. It was not a good moment. It was a moment where I got a text, a mass text, with me, a friend, and a bunch of my other friends. And this one specific friend had a lot of terrible things to say about me. In fact, after doing research, looking back, most of it were complete lies. But here's the thing uh all my other friends don't know that, and they're receiving this text about me and how I'm a terrible person, a terrible friend, and my heart goes from here to here. Then dozens of conversations ensued. I'm like not trying to defend myself, but kind of, right? Like showing proof of how these are just straight lies. Like I have proof of this stuff, but these friends still have to decide like do they want to still be friends with me? It's like a weird place to be. Have you ever tried to defend yourself like that? Have you ever been betrayed by a friend? It was a betrayal. That's what I went through. And it was hard. And then reconciled some of the friendships, moved on, and I thought I was good to go. And then potential new friendships came. But I did not want to leave the tent. I did not want to get up and try to pursue the relationships. Because here's what happens if you decide to leave the tent to get what you need. You risk exposure. You risk disappointment. You risk failure. So it's awesome. But new friendship opportunities came, and I stayed in the tent because I didn't want to be hurt again. I didn't want to expose my heart to another betrayal. It was way more comfortable for me to stay in my tent than to go out. So here's what sadly happens, if that's you. Uh not only did I miss out on a bunch of friendships, but I was a terrible friend to a lot of my friends during that time. This was years. I didn't even catch it until therapy, like years later. It was years of this. It was years of hoping they would invite me. It was years of hoping they would compliment me. It was years of, I hope they text me. I hope they call me. I'm not doing any of it. I'm not a good friend, but you better be a good friend back to me because I don't want to risk getting out of the tent and being hurt again. Have you ever been there? With your career, with your finances, with a friendship, with your relationship with Jesus. Here's what's at stake if that's you right now. You risk everyone else being out of detriment because you're scared out of fear of leaving the tent. In fact, this is often what happens. Maybe you're refusing therapy right now because you're scared of what might come up. You're scared about getting out of the tent and being exposed. But therapy is the mana that God wants to provide, but you're not doing it is leading to marital strife. Maybe you're refusing to budget because you're scared of what it might expose in your own heart, of what you spend your money on. But the issue is that your whole family is stressed because of money, because you refuse to get out of the tent and open the can of worms. Maybe you're refusing to grow spiritually. Because you're scared of being disappointed by God again. But it can lead to burdening the church because you're showing up and you're expecting to receive all of the things from the pastor. You're hoping this sermon's great and the songs are awesome and there's perfect next steps for you, and everything's about you because you just want to be spoon-fed. I wanted to be spoon-fed. That's what I wanted. My friendships, I want to go directly into my mouth. The issue is that God put them in the outside of the tent. We have to put ourselves in a position to receive the blessings of God. Are you putting yourself in a position to receive the blessings of God in the area that you're hurting right now? Some of us have a control issue. We want to create the manna, but some of us, like me, have a comfort issue, have a fear issue. I don't want to even leave the tent to expose myself again. Where have you stopped gathering daily manna? Where have you stopped gathering daily manna out of fear of what's on the other side? And yet, there is a third option. There's a third option. If you want to write this down, the third option is this we gather manna in cooperation. Gathering manna is cooperation with God. I think this is just a theory, but I'm wondering if God didn't put it in their mouths so they could realize the worth of it. Like, I don't know if you've ever been spoon-fed something, and maybe in life, and maybe the worth's not that you don't understand how powerful it is because you didn't work for it. Or have you ever experienced something where you worked so hard and you finally received something? That feeling of understanding how powerful it is. Now, you don't have to work your way to God, but we do have to open ourselves up to God, and sometimes that feels like work. Sometimes it's hard to get up and go to church. Sometimes it's hard to say, maybe I'm gonna open up my Bible. Sometimes it's hard to have that hard conversation with your spouse. It's hard to do these things, to open up yourself for healing. It sometimes feels like a lot of work. But oftentimes, the Bible, God, again, He's not opposed to you putting an effort in your faith to get out of the tent. So, what do we do? We work in cooperation with God. He sends the blessings and we put ourselves in a position to receive the blessings. And we do this every day. We get up, we go out, we open up our hands. God, what are you trying to do today? You're aware of what God's doing. You receive it, and then you go to bed. It's nice. Like in this whole idea of working cooperation, you don't have to constantly be up at night baking, broiling, grilling the mana so you can make it last till tomorrow, working. No, you receive it, you go to bed. This is what we do. We work in cooperation with the Lord. Some of you need rest today because you've been trying to control everything. Some of you need courage to get up and to receive the manna. Cooperation sounds like, God, I cannot heal my mind without you, but I can bring you my thoughts today. God, I cannot fix all my feelings by myself, but I can stop hiding them from you. God, I cannot make my body limitless, but I can honor the limits that you gave me. So, self-formation. It's not God doing everything for you, and it's not you doing everything without God. It's a daily yes to receiving the blessings of God. I'm gonna invite the band to come up. At the end of Exodus, this chapter, there's this beautiful couple of verses. Moses said, This is what the Lord has commanded. Take an omer of manna, a jar of manna, and keep it for generations to come so that they can see the bread I gave you to eat in the wilderness when I brought you out of Egypt. The Israelites ate manna for 40 years until they came to a land that was settled. Why 40 years in the Bible? What's the point? 40 years? Why is there there's 40 chapters in the book of Exodus? Moses, the leader, spent 40 years in the desert. Jesus spent 40 days in the desert before he started his ministry. 40 days signifies a season of hardship, of anxiety. Stuff happening in your mind and your body and your feelings, a delta between who you are and who you want to be, what you need and what you've gotten. It's a season of need, of desperation. It's a desert season. And it also signifies this number 40. God providing a way out. Every single time, God provided a way out. Every single time he provided daily manna. Do you believe that God is going to provide you out right now from the divorce? He will guide you out right now from the difference between the money you have and the money that you need. He will provide a way out with the tension that you have in your relationship and the mental stuff that you're going through. Do you think God will provide a way out? There are no bad endings in the kingdom of God. God will always provide a way out in this life or the next. That's what God wants to do for you. So this omer of manna, this jar of manna, was a it was a symbol and it was a sign that God has enough for you today. For your mind, for your body, and for your feelings. So I want to invite you into something today and for this week. Every day this next week, if you do this one thing, it might take you about 15 minutes. I believe this can radically change yourself. How you form yourself. I think it could radically change. I think you can come back next week feeling lighter, feeling better, feeling freer, less anxious. I really do. If you do these one thing for 15 minutes, it starts with one question. God, where do I need your daily bread today? God, where do I need your daily bread today? And then would you take an inventory? God, I'm opening up my thoughts to you. That's a little scary. Oh, that's a lot of thoughts in my mind. I'm gonna open up my thoughts to you, Lord. And then I'm gonna open up my feelings to you. And then I'm maybe physically going to open up my body. What am I feeling in my body today? God wants to bless you in all three. Sometimes God feels like this crazy dude in the sky, but when you start inviting him into your daily life, your feelings, your thoughts, your body, all of a sudden this relationship gets a little too personal, maybe for some of us. Or exactly what you're looking for, being disconnected from God for too long. God, where do I need your daily bread? Take an inventory. Mind, body, feelings. You know, my mom my mom has like her master's in in therapy or psych psych psychology is what she has her master's in. Uh she's pretty smart. Like I go to her, she's always like three steps ahead of me. I don't know if you know someone like that. It's kind of annoying. Like, I'm going through this. And like, you know, she has the right answer, but she's like listening to you, like she's asking questions. That's her. So we were her patients. I was her patient. Still is her patient. I thought she knew everything. But every morning I woke up and I'm seeing her journal. Like, what do you have to say? You know everything about yourself. My mind, my body, my you know all the all the stats. You've read the books. I mean, if there's anyone who's self-aware, it is you, but she's journaling. But then I was realizing, oh, her journaling were prayers to God. It was taking an inventory of her mind, of her body, of her feelings. And it was, God, I'm opening up myself to you today. God, here's the question: where do I need your daily bread today? And she needed it. Five kids, two were her who were adopted, moving constantly. She needed all the help that she could get, and she received the help from God by journaling. Now, thanks to my mom, she gave me a journal in college. And I've been filling up a journal every single year since then. It's my way of forming myself in the way of love, and I do it by going to the person that is called love. That's how I do it. Would you stand with me? I've been on this thing recently, Emily. Like I say, I feel like I say it every sermon. I don't have it in the script. I create word-for-word scripts for my sermons to prepare and to pray, and it's never in the script, and somehow I ended up saying it every single week. Uh but I say this. I want you to not just have a relationship with Jesus. I want you to have a life-giving relationship with Jesus. I want you to have a thriving spirituality. Like when you think of your life, I want you to think of your faith like, uh, man, that's awesome. Like, I want that for you. I want you to have a personal relationship with Jesus, and that's what you want too. And we do it by inviting God into our full selves and seeing him give us our nourishment for our mind, for our bodies, and for our feelings. But the question is, do you have a daily practice that allows God to be invited into those spaces? 15 minutes will change the trajectory of your life if you do it every day this week. And if you do, come up to me, literally next Sunday, and tell me how it went. I would love to know. And until then, Jesus, the night before he dies, gets his people together. He breaks bread and he says, This is my body broken for you. Do you know Jesus was often called our daily manna, our daily bread? Jesus gives us everything we need. He takes wine and he says, This is my blood poured out for you today. And it's a reminder that he died and that he conquered death and he rose again. And if he conquered death, may it be a reminder to you today that your story is not a dead end. And if he conquered death, he can provide a way out of your own desert today. And every time that he dropped this manna from heaven every morning, uh anyone could have it. Anyone who is addicted, anyone who just got recently divorced, uh, the person who's an atheist, the person who's who's wrestling with their lifestyle, the person who's anyone is invited to eat the manna from heaven. So today, you are invited. Regardless of your state, of your stature, of your stage of life, you can have the provision from God today. So we are gonna present this manna for you from the Lord, and I don't know what this bread means right now, where you need this bread, but may this symbolize what God wants to give you every single day. Sustenance for your whole self. My hope is that we don't have to end up with Wilson at every interview. I'm hoping we don't have to end up with Wilson at every I hope that our coping mechanism that made us survive in one season isn't the thing that keeps going. I hope your need for control, I hope your need for comfort doesn't have to be the thing that cages you in for what God wants to provide next. So instead of comfort, instead of control, would you consider cooperation with God today? Let me pray. Would you open up your hands? Lord, we thank you, thank you, thank you. That you provide every day. Where? Where right now, God, do I need your daily manna? God, I'm opening up my thoughts to you, especially the bad ones, the ones I'm ashamed of. God, I'm opening up my feelings to you. The bitterness, the cynicism, the hatred. God, I'm opening up my body that's tense, that's tired, it's worn down. God, where do I need your daily bread today? Lord, I pray right now for my friends. God, would you give, would you give them what they need, the sustenance in the area of need, in the area that feels like a desert. God, I pray that this would symbolize how much you love us. That you came down, yes, to die, but then also to help us and our feelings and ourselves and our bodies. God, I pray that we would receive your help today. God, thank you for allowing us to be open to receive right now. Amen.