Social Belonging | Jake Vayda

This week in our Created for This series, we explored the purpose of Social Belonging through the story of Moses, Aaron, and Hur in Exodus 17. We asked a challenging question: what is the “I’ve got this” mentality actually costing you?

We saw that isolation doesn’t make us stronger—it makes us more vulnerable. God never intended for us to carry life alone. Instead, He designed us to be known, supported, encouraged, and strengthened through community. Through Moses’ exhaustion in battle, we were reminded that even the strongest people need others to hold up their arms. What we can’t carry alone, community carries with us.

The invitation is simple: stop fighting your battles alone. Take a step toward community, let yourself be known, and discover the strength that comes from belonging.

Transcript

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When was the last time you said I've got this? A baker going to a large wedding, a multi-tiered cake, said, I've got this. And then he tripped. And then this happened. A man who really wants to break his personal record puts all the weight on, I've got this. Even now, IKEA has instructions that say it needs two people. Why? Because the internet is filled with unfinished cabinets and squeaky bed frames because they weren't put together correctly. It takes two. When was the last time that you said, I've got this? Maybe for you, you said I got this at work, and you refuse to delegate because you can do it better yourself, but you're kind of overwhelmed right now. Or maybe for you it's it's saying I've got this at home and you're managing uh your your your your babies and your kids and there's outside help waiting, but you want to do it all yourself, but you're also just completely out of uh you're drowning almost emotionally. Or maybe for you, it's with your mental health, struggling with your mental health, and you refuse to ask ask ask for help. When was the last time that you said I I've got this? Here's the question that I would love to answer today. If you're taking notes, you can write this down. What is the I've got this mentality costing you? Right now? What is the I've got this mentality costing you right now? Is it a friendship? Is it a marriage? Is it is it your finances? Is it is it your mental health, your body image? I'm convinced the biggest thing that is at stake with the I've got this mentality is not any of those things, it's actually isolation. Ultimately, if we're trying to do everything ourselves or have this mentality with every little piece of our lives, what will ultimately happen is it we'll end up isolated. And I'm convinced that nobody at Create Church, nobody here should end up isolated, especially in an area that's a deep wound in your life. That's why today we're continuing our series called Created for This. We find these Israelites, they were freed from slavery, and they are amazing celebrations, but now they're left wandering. They're a group of refugees. What do you do? Jesus or God gave them five specific gifts, and these gifts were actually what they were created for in the first place. These five gifts ultimately transform this group of refugees, this group of wanderers, into the greatest movement that the world has ever seen. So today I want to uncover all of these gifts, but the first gift that I want to cover, the third gift actually, is social belonging. Social belonging. What does social belonging mean? It means to be known and to know others. This is a gift that God gave the Israelites in the desert. Hey, uh man, if you're here for the first time, so glad you're here. We are a Bible-believing, Bible preaching church. Uh, in fact, uh today will be in Exodus 17 if you do want to follow along. The story picks up with the Israelites. Tired, thirsty, vulnerable, and then kick them while they're down, their arch nemesis comes, the Amalekites. In fact, uh, this is what it says in the Bible. Remember what the Amalekites did to you along the way when you came out of Egypt? When you were weary, you were worn down, they met you on your journey and they attacked all who were lagging behind. They had no fear of God. You can write this first fact of social belonging down. Isolation doesn't make you stronger and makes you easier to strike. Isolation, it doesn't make you stronger, it makes you easier to strike. A lot of horror movies don't have great ratings. Like a whole genre. There's some great horror movies out there, I'm sure, but often uh they're not that great. But there's one specific reason. I'm I'm convinced. I have a very strong opinion about why horror movies don't have a great rating. Uh it's because the serial killer comes up, the demon, the ghost, whatever it is, and there's a group of people, and someone dumb says, Let's split up. Yes, that's what's gonna happen. Let's split up. We're gonna go against something that's way stronger than me, and what I need is just me versus them, one-on-one. That's let's split up. So they split up, and then the stereo killer kills them one at a time, the demon, the ghost, whatever it is, and that's how almost every horror movie ends, and every single time you're like, no, no, don't split up, don't do it. You're watching National Geographic, right? Beautiful documentary, and he says, uh, the goat left the herd. Bro, you know what's happening next. The line's about to come. You're not like, oh, the goat's gonna survive. No, the goat's dead. Like, that's what's gonna happen next. The line's gonna come. They're gonna this is what happens, right? Isolation, it doesn't make you stronger, it makes you easier to strike. And this is what the Amalekites knew. Thousands of years ago, they're like, oh my gosh, this is great. The people who are just kind of wandering off from this crowd in the desert, those are the people they didn't attack the front lines, they didn't attack where everyone was focused and ready to go. They attacked where you were weak, they attacked where you were isolated, they attacked where you were wounded. This is what happens when it comes to the enemy. This is often what makes you easy to strike. Isolation makes people vulnerable. The I've got this mentality makes people vulnerable. But we know this. In fact, I believe all of us in this room right now have some reason why we say, I've got this, in an area of deep wound when in reality we don't got it. I think there's three specific reasons. First, you don't want to burden people, right? I don't want to burden my friends. I don't want to burden my wife with the stuff I'm going through. She's busy, my friends are busy, they're just gonna roll their eyes and like, oh, another thing to worry about now. You're struggling with this. I don't want to burden my friends. Another reason is because of pride. I I'm from America. Pull your stuff up from the bootstraps, the American dream started from the bottom, now we're here. I mean, this is like, I'm doing this. This is me, baby. Like, I don't need any help. It's pride. I've got this, I'll find my way out. So it's pride. It's being burdened, helping to burden people, or maybe it's shame. I don't want people to know. Man, if I tell people about this, the rumorville will be cooking something crazy tomorrow. I don't want to tell anybody about this. Shame to burden. Out of these, which one for you stands out? Pride. Which one do you often give as the reason why you shouldn't tell the people closest to you what's really happening? Let's continue. So, verse 9, Exodus 17. So Moses said to Joshua, choose for us men and go out and fight with Emelech. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand. So Joshua did as Moses told him, and he fought with the Emelech. While Moses, Aaron, and her went to the top of the hill. This is the second aspect of social belonging. Community is not formed by default. How is community formed? Community is formed by decision. It's a decision to say, I'll be in community. J. Paul Getty. 50 years ago, he was called the richest man in the world. He made a lot of his money with oil. He actually owned uh over 300 companies controlling stake. He was a billionaire. In fact, he was so excited about all the money, he he bought a 72-room mansion. And this mansion was right by London, and he was divorced five times, and by the age of uh he was getting older, and he ultimately uh uh was in this mansion and he and he died in this mansion. But the movie, all the money in the world, which is a movie, uh, was a chronicling his life. And at the end of the movie, richest man in the world has everything money could buy. He's in his atrium, 60-foot ceilings, just like this, all by himself. It's his house. He has a heart attack and he starts yelling out the names of someone he loves, and no one responds, because in the 72-roman, he's alone.

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J.

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Paul Getty, the richest man in the world, died that day. When you go through the hardest times of your life, do you have battle partners? Do you have someone that can be with you? That can go with you, that can fight with you? I mean, Getty, he was probably one of the most strategic minds in human history, and yet that strategy always went to everything that wasn't community. Was he hoping that community would just be formed by default? Friendships would just happen and then pay the consequences? I don't know, but I don't want to end up like that guy. That's what I know. So I have to see community being formed as a decision that I make on a daily and weekly basis. Moses didn't say, oh, who should I pick? He had two guys in mind. Three. Joshua, you're fighting the battle, and these two guys, you're going up the mountain with me. I have specific men that I am fighting my battle with. These are the people when the going gets tough, know my hurts, know my hang ups, know my habits. These are the guys that I'm going. Do you do you have those people in your life? Moses did. In the heat of the battle. It's interesting. I had uh a conversation with one of my friends. She comes to Create Church, Selena, and uh she's at Create Corner serving, meeting the first-time guest, praying over first-time guests, giving them a gift, and she told me that she received a uh terrible health diagnosis, one of the worst you could ever receive, on Thursday. So my first question was, why are you here? I don't know if I would. And and she's like, I'm here because these are my people. I want to serve. In fact, uh Selena sent me this paragraph, and I and I asked, can I actually say it on stage? And she said yes to bless us. She said this, Selena, in 2025, I was searching for an in-person church to worship and to praise God. I found create on social media, a tap to learn more, plan my first visit. Not knowing a soul, I took a leap of faith and went, and I knew right away it was home from the warm welcome of the community, even getting baptized the very next week. And I recently got an unfavorable health diagnosis that would have kept me isolated. Hear what she said. However, just days later, I chose a decision to serve the community that served me. Jesus says that we are the light of the world, and through him I am shining my light. This is what the church was meant to be all along. We're not supposed to be spiritual Costco, where you come, put your head down, avoid eye contact, try to get out as fast as you can so you can leave the line. Like, this is not someone's crying in the sack aisle, you don't care, right? This is not what happens, right? The church is a family. This is the main metaphor that God uses in the entire Bible. What does a family do? We support each other. What does a healthy family do? We love each other, we listen to each other, and we support, even when we're going through some hard times in the heat of the battle, God wants Create Church to be a place where you can find your battle partners. In fact, I hope this is a good place to find your battle partners because we have the main thing in common, which is this idea of a faith, right? Even if you're atheists, you're here because you desire something more. This is something we have in common here. This is a great place to find people that you can battle with. What does the Bible say? Iron sharpens iron. Have you found those people? In fact, I'm gonna ask a question. This might rub you the wrong way, depending on your upbringing, but the question is this Who are three people right now who would actually know if you're hurting? Who are three people right now who would actually know if you were hurting? You might say, Jake, I have my one person, I have my best friend, I have my spouse, I have my mom, I have my one person. I would say that is good. And if you depend on one person to fulfill all of your emotional needs, that relationship will end up breaking down at some point. In fact, we need a community. What did we say? It takes a community to raise a child, it takes a community to raise a human. I need people who are three people that you have. Do you have three people? Moses did. Aaron, her, and Joshua in the heat of the battle that actually saw where what he was going through and decided to help. So let's continue. What happens? If you're gonna take a picture of something, if you're gonna memorize any passage this week of the Bible, let it be this. Let it be this. Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed. And whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands grew weary. So they took a stone, put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and her held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. And so his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. You can write this last fill-in down when it comes to three aspects of social belonging. What you can't carry alone, community carries with you. What you can't, I cannot carry this alone, community carries with you. Now I don't know about you, but when I read this, I kind of think of this staff that Moses had. Kind of like a good luck charm. You know what I mean? Like the guy who hasn't washed his playoff jersey, because the last time they won was in the playoffs, and he hasn't washed the jersey for years. Like, if I put this on, we're gonna win the battle, right? Or the guy on the Padre has gained this, like, oh, we're down, the ninth inning. He's like, get this. He turns his hat on the other side. Every time, backwards hat, we win. It's the good book charm, right? It's kind of like that's how kind of how it feels, you know what I mean? He has the staff, they're winning, woo, people are they're and then it's down, people are dying, people are hurting, boo, this sucks. I don't know what he kind of played with it for. I don't know how it happened here. This staff was actually the same staff where Moses raised it and the red seas were split. This staff was kind of, I don't know, it kind of seems like a magical thing. Like this is kind of nice, you know what I mean? This is uh like Aladdin's carpet. This thing does pretty cool things. Moses, Moses, uh, Moses his job was to fight spiritually on behalf of the people. This was his job. He was the prophet, he was the pastor, and that was his his what his goal was, and and how amazing that is. I don't know how it all works. Moses is kind of like a superhero. You know what I mean? Like, without all the CGI, you know, more sandals. It's kind of like a superhero, alright? He's the guy who called down plagues, split the Red Sea, he came down with the Ten Commandments. I mean, this guy's a we love superheroes, don't we? Chris, I love superheroes. They're, you know, they can go through an entire building and their jawline is still pristine. Right? These women can fight intergalactic warriors and their makeup is still intact. Like, come on. Like, I want to be a I want to be a hero. We look up to heroes. But it's interesting because a painter about a hundred years ago painted what it must have looked like on this mountain with Aaron, her, and Moses. This is what he painted. Moses, the superhero. Let's do this. What stands out to you in this painting? In fact, whatever it is, would you actually turn to a neighbor that you didn't come with and just tell them what stands out to you in this painting? Good. Well, I'd love to hear a couple of bold responses and five seconds or less. Irma. Yeah. Yep. No, that's good. Yeah, Moses is vulnerable. Oh, that's good. Okay, give me a couple more. What do you notice from this? Uh there's no right answer here, right? This is what we call art. You're looking and you're coming up with opinions. Any other thoughts? Would love to hear a couple more. Strength and we ooh, that's good. Okay. Yes. Oh, yes. Yeah. The way he painted it. That's good. This is an adaptation of this of this painting. Moses, the superhero, the Avengers of the Old Testament, and he's here weary, burnt out, exhausted, tired. His arms are heavy. Moses gets tired. I mean, if God's really God, he would have strengthened his arms, right? He can do that. If he can do all these crazy things with this, with this uh amazing thing, he can strengthen his arms, right? He can give them powerful triceps and biceps and shoulders. God can do this, I am sure. Why would God allow Moses to be exhausted? To have a weakness? Can I say that? Wait, could I even say to be vulnerable? Why would Jesus allow vulnerability? Like, why would Jesus allow this? I wonder. If God wasn't trying to strengthen his arms as much as he was trying to strengthen his relationships. I wonder if one of the reasons that we have weakness and hurts and hang-ups and habits is not to isolate, but to actually bring us to relationships. I wonder if the thing you're struggling with right now could actually be the catalyst for your next best friend, for that relationship that actually gets restored because you need help. What if, what if where your arms are tired is the exact place that God wants to do the most powerful movement relationally in your lifetime? You know, selfishly, my wife and I, we started this church because we wanted our kids to have Aaron's and hers and Joshua's, right? People in school, people here at church that can fight for them, that can believe, that can pray for them, that can believe the same things. That was our hope. And then 35 weeks pregnant, we lose our baby, and we're confused. Like, this is one of the reasons we start this church, and then we get banana bread at our house. We're like, oh, okay, we get Doordash gift cards. We get dozens of texts, hundreds of prayers. This is before we even started the church. And we quickly realize we wanted battle partners for our kids, and God gave us battle partners for us. That's how Create Church started. Was with two people who could barely hold up their hands. And you came beside us and lifted our arms for us. This is how this church started. And this is how this church will continue. What's propping your arms up right now? Is it an addiction? Is it your need for success? Is it your trophy wall of all of your achievements? Is it the identity of being a mom, of being a father? What's propping your arms up right now? Is it working? Is it working? How does this end? Joshua, it says, overwhelmed Amalek. That's what it says. So they win the war. Now, again. I'm a pastor, and I really kind of had no idea how this war was won because it doesn't really say the battle strategies. It doesn't give the coping mechanisms for them to hold up Moses' arms. It doesn't tell us the uh emotional uh weight that the the army was carrying. It doesn't tell us anything. I I don't know how they won the battle, I'll be honest. I think this story is more about how God's people fight. Not about how the war was won, not about how the wound turned into a scar. I think it's more about how God's people fight. I don't think God brought the Emelech people there to kill. I don't think that's the reason. But I do think God used this battle to bring them a third gift, social belonging. Because the thousands of people in the Israelite tribe, the refugees, the wanderers, they will forever have this picture in mind of their leader, their marvel hero, with his arms tired forever and even now in 2026, thousands of years later, we're still talking about what God did in that battle with the Amalekites. This is what God wanted to do. This is how God's people fight. In the midst of one of the worst health diagnoses you could get three days later, she sews up to church because she knows this is how we fight. How do you fight your battles? Is God inviting you to fight in a different way right now? You know, it's funny. Selinda said it, right? Uh warm and welcoming. There is two words that everyone describes create church. Warm and welcome. If you try a little bit, you'll make a friend. Warm and welcoming. And I know that's true. That is true. Uh could you actually look down your aisle right now, just your pew or kind of around you? Here's the issue. There are people right now, maybe even in your aisle, who just got recently divorced. Yeah. There's people in your aisle who actually might be struggling with their mental health. There's actually people in your aisle right now who might be struggling with sexual promiscuity. There might be people in your aisle right now who actually don't even believe in God at all. There might even be people in your aisle who are a Democrat. Or a Republican. Look, all I'm saying, we're warm and welcoming. All you have to do is just stick around long enough and you won't like someone. You will not like something. Something will mess up. Here, this is like think of Aaron, right? He's holding up Moses' arm. Like for hours. They didn't, they didn't have old spies back then, bro. Moses' armpit starts smelling. Like, so how long do I have to do this, Moses? Keep going. Keep going. You got this. You're like, I know, bro. My nostrils don't got this. I can't stand this any longer. Right? It's the sun's going down. They're getting hangry, right? Like, Moses, how long do we have to do this? We're community is messy. Like, that was a cute picture, but that is not how it was in reality, right? They're standing there, like, okay, what are we twiddling our thumbs for four hours? Like, community is weird. It's not always perfect. And we choose it anyway. We choose it anyway because this is how humans fight. It's the only way to heal is together. God never heals in isolation, God always heals with people together. And that's how God heals. And it's also confusion because this is also the place where we're hurt the most, right? Friendships break, marriages break down. That's annoying. People are the cure and the curse. But that doesn't mean we give up on community. We lean in even if our heart breaks. Wisely, of course. This is the story of the Amalekites. The wilderness, it's a test of faith. Yes. The wilderness for the Israelites is a test of connection, also. Are you able to lean on one another when the going gets tough? Because the victory was won, but not because Moses' arms were strong, it was because they were weak. That's why the victory was won. And he had to lean on other people. But what is the I've got this mentality costing you? Right now, what is the I've got this mentality costing you? We know when it comes to community, isolation, it doesn't make you stronger. It makes you easier to strike. Have you ever seen that in your life? Makes you a lot easier for things to happen, for a temptation to hit, for you to let the thoughts actually get to you. We also know community is not formed by default, it's formed by decision. I don't want to be like J. Paul Getty in my life. I don't want to have all the money in the world and have no one when I need them the most. It has to be a decision. It has to require some work and some effort and some risk. And we know what you can't carry alone. If you're able to do this, community desires to carry it with you. Don't let burden, don't let shame, don't let pride get in the way of God's design for your life right now. And that is a life with someone else helping to prop your arms up. I'm gonna ask if you can stand with me. The last fill-in, if you're taking notes, is find your place here at Create Church through membership. Uh, we were with a couple of our friends at our house yesterday, and they were asking how they can be praying for us, how they can prop my arms up. And I was realizing for me the prayer request was membership. In fact, uh this membership is almost like Moses going up to the top of the mountain, coming down with Ten Commandments. What I feel is like God has given us a unique expression here at Create Church for this local community, uh values that matter to us. And what I'm excited about for the first time ever, we put pen to paper of the things that we believe here at Create Church, of what this family looks like. And maybe for you right now, you do want someone to help raise your kids or your future kids, you want someone to help strengthen your marriage, you want someone to help you with your mental illnesses that you're working through, you want someone with your addictions that you get to process things with. You, if this is you, membership will be the way to do it because this is where you get to meet other people who want to actually form a family, not a spiritual Costco. So if you're someone today that's like, yeah, that's me, I want to have my arms propped up, or if you're like Selena and I want to help prop somebody else's arms up at the same time, check out membership. See what God could do through you and in you. And then at the end you get to decide: is this a church where I could call home? Where I can actually say, I want to be a living stone as God builds his kingdom of God. Membership will be that place. And until then, we're gonna sing a song. Uh, and I don't know where what you're feeling right now. Maybe you feel right now surrounded by an enemy. Your wounds are getting worse and not better. Yeah, I think of Jesus. Oh, I think of Jesus uh when he died and when he rose again, he showed the disciples his hands, and in his hands what you saw were scars. God turned wounds into scars, and God wants to turn your wounds right now into scars. And I believe that was our entire system that just went out. So we are trying to figure it out right now. And that's what God wants to do right now through you. He wants to turn your wounds into scars, and he wants to do it through a community. So, how do we fight our battles? How do we do it when we feel surrounded? We do it together. We worship, throwing up our hands, and when we can't do it ourselves, people come up behind us and they do it for us, just like Moses. So as we sing this song for five minutes uh for you, what do you need God to turn into a scar? What's a wound right now that you want God to turn into a scar? And what if it was through community that he wants to do that with and through? Here, let me pray. If you want to put your arms out like this, it's a posture of receiving as we sing this song. Lord, we thank you. God, I want to be bold enough and say thank you for the wounds in my life. I'm not happy about it. It hurts. Sometimes I'm angry that they're even here. But God, right now I want to be bold enough to say thank you for them. God, because they bring me to my knees. They bring me to a point where my arms are too tired, and they bring me to you, and they bring me to community. So, Lord, in a crazy way, I want to say thank you for it. I don't love it, I don't like it. But thank you because you're somehow using what the enemy meant for evil, and you are turning it for good right now in this room. The divorce turning it for good, the addiction turning it for good, the mental health issue turning it for good, the financial disparity turning it for good. You want to do that right now by allowing people in to help. So, God, we want to say in a crazy way, thank you. And right now, would you give us a next right step? Maybe it's confession, God, uh, maybe it's something else, but Lord, we we thank you of what you want to do right now over the next five minutes, because it looks like God, we're surrounded by the enemy, but we are surrounded by you and by your people in this room right now. And God, thank you that you've taught the Israelites and you're teaching me right now how to fight my battles.