Fuel The Flow

Your Limiting Beliefs Are Destroying Your Business Growth ft. Julie Costa

• Valerie Feghali • Season 1 • Episode 21

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0:00 | 40:44

Do you feel like you have an internal "financial thermostat"?

No matter how hard you grind, how many funnels you build, or how much you raise your prices, your revenue seems to hit an invisible wall and stay there.

Even worse, when you do have a record-breaking month, something inevitably breaks—a client drops out, an unexpected bill arrives, or you get sick.

That isn't bad luck. 

According to Business Hypnotherapist Julie Costa, that is your subconscious mind executing a "safety protocol" to keep you in your comfort zone.

In this deep-dive episode, Valerie sits down with Julie to decode the neuroscience behind self-sabotage. We explore the fascinating reality that 95% of our daily decisions are automated by our subconscious programming, meaning your conscious desire for wealth is often fighting a losing battle against childhood beliefs that view money as "unsafe" or "bad."

In this conversation, we cover:

  • The "Black Out Period": Julie uses a powerful analogy from her retail days to explain those moments in business where we "check out," procrastinate, or feel brain fog right before a major breakthrough.
  • Fear of Success > Fear of Failure: Why your nervous system often perceives high achievement (and the visibility that comes with it) as a bigger threat to your survival than staying small.
  • The "Glass Ceiling" Phenomenon: How to identify your current upper limit and the specific NLP tools required to shatter it.
  • Parenting & Abundance: A candid discussion on how to show your children an abundant lifestyle without raising them to be "spoiled" or entitled—and why hiding money struggles from kids can actually backfire.
  • Rewiring the Brain: Practical, actionable steps to use Self-Hypnosis to "trick" your brain into accepting a new reality where wealth is normal, safe, and expected.

If you are ready to stop fighting yourself and start aligning your neurology with your business goals, this episode is your blueprint.

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Timestamps & Key Takeaways

  • 00:00 Intro: Why perfectionism is actually a low standard.
  • 01:09 The "Why": Understanding the root of money mindset issues.
  • 05:36 The "Black Out Period": Recognizing the signs of subconscious burnout.
  • 09:57 Hypnotherapy 101: What it actually is (and isn't) for business owners.
  • 17:52 The Glass Ceiling: How your internal thermostat regulates your revenue.
  • 21:41 Parenting: Teaching abundance to the nex
SPEAKER_02

In the world of NLP, so neurolinguistic programming, we always say like perfectionism, it's actually the lowest standard that you can strive for. You know, you have that feeling like, oh my god, I'm just like meant to be doing more. Because we're all really just self-sabotaging ourselves because of the beliefs we formed. A lot of people think, well, if I have more success or more money, I'm gonna lose out on time with family. If I were to wake up tomorrow and I were to have XYZ, what's the worst thing that could happen?

SPEAKER_01

Today, my guest, Julie Costa, is going to shatter our beliefs around money mindset from the perspective of a business hypnotherapist and NLP trainer. She uses subconscious reprogramming to help business owners rewire their minds for success, smashing limiting beliefs and up-leveling their money mindset both professionally and personally. As both a coach for businesses across industries and the founder of Anchored, a board-certified accreditation program, Julie equips business owners and coaches with tools that cut through the noise, reprogram subconscious beliefs, and up level our business success. I can't wait to dive in. Julie, I am so excited to have this conversation with you because myself included, and I know a lot of our listeners have a lot of issues around money mindset, right? And the fact that we can charge our worth. And I think a lot of us are undercharging for our services and also just have that fear of selling and making, you know, a successful business on so many levels, not just selling, but then also what happens when we are successful, right? What does that mean for the way that our life changes? And so thank you so much for coming on.

SPEAKER_02

Well, thanks for having me. This is such a fun topic because I feel like it comes up all the time inside of my communities. So I am so excited to jam on this today.

SPEAKER_01

So just a little backstory about how you and I met. We met at a networking event and a conference um run by Rebecca Cafiero. And that was so much fun. It was a woman's only event. And so there's a lot of networking that goes on in those, and it's just a very warm, comfortable um setting. And so you were one person that stood out to me as just being this like bright energy. And so you immediately, I gravitated towards you. And yeah, I'm so excited to get into this with you.

SPEAKER_02

So I am too. And I was even thinking about that this morning. I was like, oh man, like we met back at that event.

SPEAKER_01

So great. Yep. I know it was quite a while ago, actually. And so first tell me, because I know you have you have a lot in your background from what you've done in the past with, you know, business, um, but then also, you know, your experience with neurology. And I know a lot of people hear the word, you know, hypnotherapy and they might have a little stigma against it, but you have a deep background of business and neurology as well, too. So I just want to talk to you or get your history of how this all came to be.

SPEAKER_02

If you would have like told me like 15 years ago this is what I would be doing, and be like, you are crazy. So, so my background, I feel like I've always been an entrepreneur at heart. I've always been like a really hard worker. And God, like back in the day, I had my own personal training business. I had my own um, I say that was actually the big one, my own personal training business. I was like working in gyms, and then this group of guys, it was like two guys, they were starting their own thing. It was like in-home personal training, and they sought me out, they recruited me, I worked for them as we like kind of expanded their business model, and then it didn't go as planned. So then I got to like keep everything that I had, my clients. And so that became like my my business. So I did in-home personal training where all my clients, like, I was going, going to their houses. So I was doing that for a while. And then I would say like a lot of my like business acumen came from working at Lululemon for like 10 years, working my way up from a like, oh my god, I'm like, it's been so long. Like, what do we call them? Educators, so like a sales associate, like an educator to a key leader, to assistant manager, to store manager, to um hosting a lot of like regional and nationwide community events. So really learning how to run a business at scale and bringing in millions of dollars per year. A lot of that business acumen came from from Lululemon. And um, unfortunately, I got fired from Lululemon. Well, how did that happen? Biggest ego blown. Like, it's so great to talk about it now because I feel like we a lot of us have been in similar situations. Yeah. Biggest ego blown probably took me like two a good two years to to get over it. Um, and it ended up being the biggest blessing in disguise because there's no way I'd be doing now, like what I'm what I'm doing if it didn't happen. So uh what happened in a nutshell, I took a six-week sabbatical, I came back, and you know, you have that feeling like, oh my god, I'm just like meant to be doing more. Like there's something more I'm supposed to be doing here. And I wasn't, I wasn't sure where my my path was in Lululemon. I also stopped drinking the Kool-Aid, and so I started to speak up a lot about a lot of things. Hence um this forward-facing message of like work-life balance, but then behind the scenes of what that actually looked like. And so um, long, I mean, long story short, I just started speaking out more and more. And then I I took um my two days off for holiday and I actually traveled out of country, and they just they found it as the perfect opportunity to I what did they going against company policy, I think they called it, or something like that, and then terminated me because I left um the country during a blackout period for holiday.

SPEAKER_01

What does that even mean? What's a what is even a blackout period?

SPEAKER_02

Well, a blackout period, and this is typical in most retail stores because I mean the holidays are typically like our money-making season, right? Okay. However, for my store, we were in the city and our holiday time, quote unquote, was the summer, not okay, like not the actual holidays. So we had we had every day covered and any day my team wanted off, anybody had it off. Like it all worked out so great. So they could be home like with their families, with their friends for the holidays. And so I had my regular two days off, not additional time off, just my regular two days off and decided to go to Jamaica. And um, my regional manager found out and considered that going against company policy because I was out of the country. Should my team need me?

SPEAKER_01

Wow. You know when you're in that situation that you're not in the right place, because it's like, okay, these are my normal, this is my weekend. I can do what I want with my weekends. So yeah, especially when you're yeah, under a W-2 position. And so, wow, that's like you said, blessing in disguise. I've been laid off too, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. And yeah, I think a lot of people, there's there's this like fear around talking about it because they don't want to sound like, oh, um, you know, I they didn't want me or right, whatever mindset issue comes up with being let go or being fired. But the truth is businesses need to operate at a certain level and they let people go all the time. And a lot of times it's for the best for for us, right? For the people who were let go.

SPEAKER_02

And it's never anything personal. And I think that's really hard for a lot of us to grasp when we're in it because I mean, ultimately later. So getting fired led me into entrepreneurship. Like I really started, you know, going out and I had a first business that I shut down, and then I had my second business. And it forced me into the world of entrepreneurship. But then another thing that's kind of stigma and a lot of us can feel shameful about is well, I wasn't making the money I desired at that time. So I had to go find another full-time job.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So I did that. And luckily, I actually found like the best. I was so lucky. The job that I found was was so wonderful. And I started, I didn't talk about it right away that I had a full-time job while I was building. I waited a bit, and it wasn't until I started doing the deeper subconscious work that I like released so much shame about it because I was thinking, oh, well, it just means like I'm not as successful or people aren't going to trust me, or I'm not an authority or expert or whatever was going through my head at the time. And then once I started talking about it, so many people I knew started reaching out because they were like, oh my God, like I have a job too, and like I don't talk about it. Um, so just really open the door to have less shame around that because I think the smartest thing you can do is actually have a job while you're building your business to keep your nervous system at bay.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. And things generally don't move as quickly as people want to when they're growing their business. There's this idea, because we see on Instagram of these, you know, overnight success. And the reality of it is that we pour our heart and energy into something and it fails. And then we say, What do we learn from that? And we pour our love and our heart and energy into something else, and sometimes that fails too, or maybe it does just slightly better, right? And it's like this growth pattern that like only the strong can really like stick through it. And so, yeah, I absolutely agree with you that having an income on the side during that learning curve that happens for all entrepreneurs is a smart move. So smart.

SPEAKER_02

But then like fast forward, I got laid off from that job last year. And then again, it was like, okay, blessing in disguise. But now the way I reacted, or I should say responded versus reacted, was so different. So you're ready for it. In my path. But entrepr the role of entrepreneurship and doing so much, basically to the point that you were just saying, like doing so much and thinking it should have happened so fast when it didn't, because that's the assumption we make at looking things online and burning myself out, that is what led to me actually discovering hypnotherapy.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So tell us more about what hypnotherapy is, like what happens in the brain, right? So tell us that. And then also the NLPI actually, what does that stand for? What is that that you combine with the hypnotherapy?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So I uh I first sought out hypnotherapy. And what hypnotherapy is in a nutshell, because a lot of us have misconceptions about what it is, myself included in the beginning. Um, it's not what you see in like stage show hypnosis. So most people, when they think about it, they think, oh, like you're gonna make me bark like a dog and cluck like a chicken. I'm gonna be doing things against my will. Um, it's mind control. Like those are the biggest myths about hypnotherapy and hypnosis. And the truth is, many of us actually go into so hypnosis, it's a very natural state in your brain. It just means like throughout the day, your brain waves are kind of like scattered and they're just like going like this. Cause we're thinking, like, I gotta do the Christmas shopping, I gotta pay my bills, um, I gotta take the dog out for a walk, right? Like our brain is just like filled with these thoughts. So our our our brain waves are going nonstop. And so all hypnotherapy is really doing is we're getting you into a relaxed state so we can slow your brain waves down. So we're slowing them down into more of an alpha or theta brainwave state. And once they're slowed down, that conscious mind is starting to check out a little bit so that we can get into the subconscious part of the mind. We're like getting through that like critical faculty. So in a nutshell, hypnotherapy, it's really a relaxed state. And many of us go into it naturally throughout the day. Like, if you think about, I don't know, if you like always drive someplace and you like know how to get there, like you know, back of your hand, like so easy, and you're driving on the highway and you like zone out for a quick second, and then all of a sudden you're like, oh my god, my exit's right there. You just probably went into like a really short, like hypnotic trance. Or when you're scrolling on your phone and you just keep scrolling and you just keep scrolling, or if you're watching TV late at night and maybe uh your brain waves are just so slowed down and you're just kind of like a little bit um you're just relaxed. It feels like like a very almost like you're going into a light sleep state or a light meditative state. That's what it feels like.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. And then how do you get there? Like, do you use sound? Do you use, you know, conscious thoughts? How do you put yourself into that state?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, great question. So in hypnotherapy, like in actual sessions, we do something called an induction. I like to do one that's just called like a progressive relaxation induction. So you can kind of consider it like a meditation where I'm having you focus on every aspect and every like body part and imagining that each part is relaxing. So it's really a meditation, it sounds like a meditation where I'm just getting those brain waves to slow down and I'm just getting you really relaxed. Other ways you can do that too. Breath work is a really great tool to get you into um hypnosis, into a like hypnotic trance state. Because what breath work does, um, not an activating one, but um a non-activating breath work pattern, it allows you to like drop into the body and like get your body to slow down. And when your body starts to slow down too, then your mind starts to slow down. So breath work is um another great tool. For some people, it can be like yoga, right? Like if like movement, like you can get into hypnotic states too um when you're also in movement. Um, but it's really finding time for stillness and slowing down.

SPEAKER_01

Interesting. So this is bringing me back to a camp experience when I was probably 12 years old, around that age. I were so specifically remember it was like a meditation that we did. And we were laying on the floor, and he brought us through every body part and said, Okay, the back of your neck is starting to melt into the floor. And then, you know, we go to the shoulders and it'd be like, that feels like water spreading, and you know, and it was like went from the top, I think it was top down or bottom up, maybe bottom up, actually, I think it was. And I remember so specifically, my mom picked me up from camp like oh, four weeks later. I was there for like weeks on end, right? And I telling her, like, I've never experienced anything like this. Like it was just even at that age, I could realize, like, wow, how the effect that that had on my mental state, even though I didn't call it that at the time. Um but yes, I've I've experienced that. And I actually do that practice, not knowing what it actually was, with my kids sometimes when they're just really like hyped up, or if they can't sleep, sometimes I'll have them do that, you know, start with your feet and we just go through kind of different body parts and have them relax. And it's so effective.

SPEAKER_02

It's a great way to slow the brain waves down. And most people are experiencing it without realizing case in point what you just said. And most people will call them meditations or guided visualizations without saying hypnosis, because so many people think hypnosis is like mind control. And and here's actually like the best piece of information I love to share because we're working with the subconscious part of the mind when it comes to hypnosis. The subconscious mind is highly moral and highly ethical. And so hypothetically, if something were ever said in like a hypnosis session that like you didn't agree with, your subconscious mind would just hear it and be like, Yep, nope. And it's like in one ear and out the other. So it can only like receive and take in the things that are aligned for your highest and best and like most within integrity and moral self.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, wow, that's really interesting. So once people are in that state, then how do you train them to think differently?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So typically it's not uh with when working with a hypnotherapist, so it's not uh me or it's not your hypnotherapist that is making things up on the fly in terms of what we think is gonna be best for you. We're using your language. So a lot of times we're asking questions and we have something where it's we call it conducting an interview beforehand. So let's say if you know we're on the topic of money mindset and there's a specific goal somebody has when it comes to money mindset or hitting a specific income goal or whatever that is, I'm gonna ask certain questions, and all I'm doing is repeating your answers you said to me back to you in the actual hypnosis, what we call like therapy component of the hypnosis session. So it's it's your exact words repeated back to you. So it's not something that I'm creating or thinking, oh yeah, like this this would be best for her in this session. I'm I'm really getting answers from you and we're saying it back.

SPEAKER_01

So it's almost like when you're asking us what our core goals are, what our desires are, and then you're helping us kind of put that in the subconscious so that we believe it to be true or possible. Is that right?

SPEAKER_02

Correct. Correct. And a lot of times I'll have you paint the like ideal day of what it looks like to have achieved this goal. Because the subconscious doesn't know the difference between reality and imaginary, which when you think about it, think about how often so many of us get like anxious about things in the future. We uh we typically have like a physical sensation happen in our bodies when we think of that. Because our subconscious is imagining that it's already happened, it doesn't know the difference between real or imaginary. So if your body can do that when it comes to something like that, like imagine what can happen when you can like input all the good stuff of like what it is that you actually do want. Um, so it's really like creating that ideal image or like that ideal day, like getting super, this is the key. You want to get super specific, not just oh, I made more money. Because that's you gotta give you the subconscious directions. If you're just like, oh, I make more money, but then you walk outside and you see a penny on the ground, your subconscious is like, more money, check. We change that.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, we did it. We reached our goal. Okay. So it's kind of going on money mindset. What is this glass ceiling that we all kind of have for ourselves? And how does that come to be?

SPEAKER_02

Usually between the from between the ages of zero to seven. And it's not something we're most likely consciously aware of. It's things because from zero to seven years old, our conscious mind hasn't been fully formed yet. So our subconscious is taking everything in. And as we have these events and experiences happen in our life, we take things in, we attach meaning to them. So, for example, like my dad had his own business and it was a vending machine business. So, like, you know, you insert coins. God, he had like the cigarette machines like back in the day, like the arcade games. And I remember I would always see him working really hard. And then he always had like the coin collecting machine, like in the garage. And so, with me, even just seeing that as a young kid, like I really associated like you gotta work really hard to make money because I saw how hard he worked. Um, just to give an example of like how those beliefs like kind of kind of arise. Or especially when it comes to like an income, like a I guess, let's say like a ceiling, it starts to become like, okay, well, what will you gain when you like blast through or shatter that ceiling? Or what will you lose? For a lot of people, it's like the what will you lose? Um, because if I right, like when it comes to like more success for people, like because we're all really just self-sabotaging ourselves because of the beliefs we formed. So for some people, and I've heard this all the time in like workshops I've hosted. A lot of people think, well, if I have more success or more money, I'm gonna lose out on time with family or time with love funds, or I'm not gonna have that time freedom.

SPEAKER_01

Yep. Yeah, I can totally see that. And I'm feeling it in my own body right now that it's like, yeah, a hundred percent. I I often feel that way. That okay, if I do this, am I gonna have to travel for, you know, live speaking opportunities and stuff like that, right? Whereas maybe that's not the reality. Maybe you can still make X amount of dollars without having to do those speaking opportunities, right? Or whatever it may be. But in our mind, we have we put a frame around it of what it's going to look like, right, when we achieve anything. And yeah, I can see that. So are you saying that a lot of times it's more like fear-based than it is about, you know, not just not seeing the potential?

SPEAKER_02

I see a lot of it is fear. It'll definitely be dependent per person, and it's never fear of failure. It's always fear of success. Like hands down, more often than not, it's actually fear of success because it can mean so many different things. That loss of freedom, that time, freedom, that time with family, it can mean, oh, more success means like more eyes on me, which means more criticism, more judgment. I don't want to experience that. It's gonna be different per person, but even just starting to get clear on like, okay, if I were to wake up tomorrow and I were to have XYZ, what's the worst thing that could happen? Or like, what will I have gained or what will I have lost? And like starting there is like a really good starting point for most people. The way I like to explain it is like most people come to me and like the problem. So let's say like they're not hitting their dream income goal. That's most likely not the real problem. That's like a symptom or a behavior of the real problem. So we want to get to like the actual root, which is most likely like that like belief I'm not good enough or I'm not worthy or whate whatever that is under the surface.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So some of those self de those feelings about ourselves, and then also some of the things that we've learned, like you said, from zero to seven. Going back to that, what uh what are some things? Cause I always have a hard time with my own kids being like, Okay, how do I teach them that there's abundance without showing them with but also teaching them that it's not just handed to you, right? Like there is something that needs to be done in order to get that, right? And so, but it's Doesn't mean that you have to work and not be present either. And so it's that hard balance to show, like, okay, yeah, how do we show abundance without making them spoil? Without ruining their mindset, right?

SPEAKER_02

No, it's a great question. It's a lot of people and a lot of students ask me that all the time too. Here's the thing though, we can't control how their subconscious is going to perceive something. Okay. How do we do that? It's just so hard because they're like, oh my God. It's and it's funny because like I'll watch back on some videos of me when I was younger. And I remember there was one specific, and I was like, oh my God, I'm hearing myself literally get programmed right now. No fault of my aunt. It was my aunt that was doing it. I'm like no fault of her. She like didn't, she didn't know. But it's hard because we can't, we can't control how their subconscious mind is going to perceive something. So we can still we can go in with all the best intentions of the in the world, and we'll just never know like how their subconscious mind is going to attach meaning to it.

SPEAKER_01

So don't worry about it too much. And like take the pressure off. Okay, the pressure off. Take the pressure off.

SPEAKER_02

Because there's no way that like we can't like program our children or program like those closest to us, especially in like those early ages. We just we just do the best we can, but like take the pressure off.

SPEAKER_01

I do feel like we are in that day and age of like everybody's like, oh well, world we are the way we are because of the way our parents, you know, whatever. And there's a lot of like blame that goes on for like different parenting strategies. And I'm like, oh my God, what am I doing to my kids? Right. You can take the pressure off. You're doing you're doing the best, the best that you can.

SPEAKER_02

One piece of advice I will share though is um the words that we use can be important. So like think of like a young kid and a parent might be like, Don't spill the milk. Well, they're only and this is another fun fact, the subconscious mind does not process negatives. So it's not hearing don't, it's just hearing spill the milk. So if we can start to think of, okay, if I don't want my kid to spill the milk, well, what could I say that's actually more positive and reinforcing? Um, hold the bottle upright or hold the cup upright instead. So it's like it's just trying to think of small language tweaks can make a big, a big difference.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, yeah, not talking in negatives. How do you feel about talking also in absolutes? Because I feel you know, I hear hear a lot of people say, like, you never do it that way, or you know, that type of stuff. And I'm just like, oh, okay. Like, yeah. What do you feel about that?

SPEAKER_02

Uh, I I kind of I feel the same way as well, too. Like, definitely when it comes to like the negations, because that that's how most of us are actually trained. We're we're trained to focus on like the negative language. So the more you can switch it to the positive, because it's like, okay, I don't want him to we'll just keep going with the spill the milk. I don't want to spill the milk. Great. What do you want him to do instead? Focus on that.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Right. So it's like it's like thinking about that positive outcome. And then with, I don't give me an example of an absolute.

SPEAKER_01

Oh gosh, like, I don't know. If like when my kids are fighting or something, and someone says, like, you guys always pick her about this, right? Like you always, right? Using those types of words or always, never, like those types of words that are just so almost putting like um an identity to it in a in a way, like that you're you're someone who always does this, and that I I don't like that type of thing. I try to avoid it, but sometimes I catch myself doing it myself.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, because I mean we're programmed, right? Like it it's just comes unconsciously, like unconscious behavior to us. Um, again, it could be like small language treats, small language tweaks, because if if a child's young and they're hearing that, well, what could potentially happen is like they're hearing like you always bicker. So maybe then in every relationship growing up, they're always gonna be bickering like with the person that they're in a relationship with. So it's just like, yeah, like small language tweaks instead. It's like, okay, like what do you what do you want them focusing on instead?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, focusing on how to solve the problem that's at hand, right? Rather than just fighting about it. What's what are you trying to get from this situation? And can we focus on that? Yeah. Just ask, yeah, asking some questions, I think is really helpful. Like what and how question. Mm-hmm. Okay. So what are some of the, what are some subconscious beliefs that you see most often in coaches who are having a hard time growing their business? They're stuck, they're plateaued. What are some of those fears or beliefs that you see come up frequently?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'm, I mean, there's a lot. There's definitely like fear of visibility, right? Like, what will Sally from high school think? What are people going to think about me? Um, uh, at the root of everything, it's a I'm not good enough, or an I'm not worthy, or like an I'm not deserving. Those are typically like the root core beliefs of people. And then like the behaviors of that are, you know, the fear of showing up online consistently, the fear of selling and thinking sales is sleazy. Um, a lot of people have that programmed. Um, and then therefore they got into business to help people, but then it's hard for them to help people if they're not doing the sales thing to get the people in to help.

SPEAKER_01

Sales is a big one. Yeah. You know, I had an interview with um Colin Boyd, and what he said is like, think of sales as a welcoming energy. You're bringing somebody into something that you know can like change their life.

SPEAKER_00

An offer is is actually an energy, it's it's actually a feminine energy, an offer. Interesting. Because you're you're asking people to come in. It's like it's a welcoming. So rather than I'm pushing you, which is a masculine kind of aggressive energy, it is a it's a feminine energy of I'm I'm welcoming you, I'm inviting you into the offer, but there are some boundaries that I have in this offer.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. I loved that rather than thinking of it as like a pushing kind of energy and a masculine energy, more thinking of it as that feminine welcoming them in, that it's really something warm and that you're inviting them into a world that you know could potentially really change things for them. And so yeah, I like speaking. And the cleats. Yeah, yeah. What I see all the time is that I can have be coaching coaches, because I coach coaches, on how to run their memberships, for example. And one of them is they're essentially doing the exact same thing, but one of them is make getting success, growing the business, and the other one is just really stuck, even though the quality and the content in the membership might be very similar. So, what do you see happening there? Is it like self-sabotage or what what's happening in those situations?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, most likely it's self-sabotage because of the core belief that's running the show, with like I'm not deserving, I'm not worthy. And self-sabotage, we we will self-sabotage ourselves in many different ways. Procrastination. That's a form of self-sabotage because of a core limiting belief we have. Because if we just think, well, I'll put off doing that thing, then I won't actually do it. And then, like, the more eyes on me or the failure or disappointment won't happen and I won't experience it. So procrastination to even perfectionism, that's a form of self-sabotage. So having everything needing to be perfect before you like put it out there or or do it. Self-doubt, imposter syndrome. I always like to think too of like, um, and one of my mentors says this, and I love it. It's like, what's the energy behind the action? Because a lot of people can be operating from scarcity and lack versus that like confidence and abundance and that energy always felt too.

SPEAKER_01

I do see the perfectionism all thing all the time. And I'm always telling my coaches, you know, we have to put it out there before it's perfect or it'll never get out there, right? And you're you're gonna end up spending so much time building this thing that maybe people don't actually want. Instead, let's put it out there and see what are people liking about it, what are they not, what are they wanting more of, what are they wanting less of, and then start to refine and, you know, quote unquote perfect it, right? We're never gonna be perfect, but make it better. And so, but people get so stuck in that that they don't want to, and I think it's fear of embarrassment, I think, of a lot of what that comes from. But yeah, I love the way that you so what would you do in that situation of saying, okay, this person clearly is having an issue with this? What are some tools that they could do or you would do with them to get them over that hump?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, well, I think first thing I always love to share too. So in um the world of NLP, so neurolinguistic programming, we always say like perfectionism, it's actually the lowest standard that you can strive for. And we focus on excellence instead. So we consider like perfectionism low standard and focusing on excellence instead. So it's like, okay, I'm gonna put this thing out. Great. How can I make it better next time or how can I refine it? So, right, like always excelling ourselves, always excelling things in our business. So, really the focusing on excellence over perfectionism. That's a that's like a big, big thing in in NLP. And then when it comes to because so this is really working with like beliefs, so figuring out ways to like retrain the brain. A lot of different things you can do, whether it's hypnotherapy, it's hypnosis audios, it's subliminal audio. Subliminal audios are my community's favorite because it's habit stacking. You don't have to make time in your day, you can have a plane in the background while you're working, like game changer, breath work, tapping. I'm trying to think on and on the easiest thing, too. And I tell people all the time, like visualization. If you take like two minutes before you go to bed at night because your brainwaves have slowed down a little bit because you're getting ready for bed, paint that picture in your mind of the best case scenario. You've launched the membership, you've done the thing. How do you feel? Like start to paint it in your mind. Because remember, this subconscious doesn't know the difference between reality and imaginary. So the more you can even do that before going to bed, that's gonna be really helpful too. Because you're playing it out. So now your mind and your body are getting used to it as if it's real.

SPEAKER_01

Interesting. So would you say it's almost acting as if it's uh already happened in some ways? Like, yeah, okay. And then with yes. So with that, with visualization, with doing the breath work. What was the other thing you said? Like audio that you can play in the background as audios. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Those are my community's favorite. So it's consciously you will hear like music, some maybe like meditative, light music. But what's embedded in the audio are like positive affirmations based on whatever the topic specifically is. So your conscious mind is being distracted by the music while your sub uh your conscious mind, while your subconscious mind is picking up the affirmations in the audio, and it's a form of uh brain training and reprogramming.

SPEAKER_01

I love that because you can do it when you're doing laundry, when you're cooking, right? Like all those things that are somewhat mindless, yeah, but have that instead of your negative thoughts, like what's on my to-do list, all these things that are, you know, it grabbing at your attention.

SPEAKER_02

That's beautiful. And you'll definitely notice a shift just in that. Um, and that's where I'll always start people because it's the easiest to add on when you're going for a walk, when you're working, but yeah, when you're doing laundry, it's it's a lot easier.

SPEAKER_01

And how do you help people build in some of these? Because I know that that particular one doesn't take up a lot of our time or effort, but the other ones that do take up a little bit of time, you know, our breath work, our visualization, like what would you recommend for scheduling those into our daily routine?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, honestly, you don't need more than 20 minutes. You could probably even bring it down to 15 minutes, but like 15 to 20 minutes a day, it's not like to listen to a breath work audio, to listen to a hypnosis audio, to do some tapping on yourself. And you don't even have to, because like tapping, you're going through like the full range of meridian points on the body. But sometimes I'll just stay like on my collarbones and I'll just tap and be like, oh my god, I'm so aggravated right now. And like I'll just talk it out as I'm tapping.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

And sometimes I have clients who are going through something, and I'm like, great, let's talk about it. Tap while you're talking. Okay.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And then we'll just like great, like, tell me about the problem. Like, just you want to because it's like you start talking about the problem and you start shedding light to it. And I'm like, okay, great, tell me what you want instead.

SPEAKER_01

Like, and then we'll start it. And it's probably when you're saying it out loud, realizing like, oh, it's not as big of a deal as I making it to be in my head. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So we're getting it like out of here where we're like, oh my God, it's like this big, big thing. And then we're we're bringing voice to it and shedding light to it. And it, and then it all of a sudden becomes less like less of an emotional charge.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. All right, you ready? We are going to do a round of quick fire. Are you up for it? Okay. So just top of mind, whatever comes to your head when you hear the questions. Here we go. What's one money matra you swear by?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I have it up here that money comes to me in unexpected and expected. Sorry, money comes to me in expected and unexpected ways. And it's posted in your office.

SPEAKER_01

Literally right up here on a posted. I love it. All right. Biggest money mindset red flag.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, that's a good one. I mean, I just automatically my head just went to the like working, like working hard to make money. So for me, what I see when I look at business owners and coaches, they're signing up for every course, every program, they're co-chopping, um, downloading every new template, every new strategy. That that to me is a big indicator and red flag. And I can say that because I've been there.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, yes. I I've been there probably too, and I see a lot of people other other there. So yes, I see that one constantly. What's a belief that you recently rewired or had to rewire at some point in the past?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I I'll share. So, like my biggest core beliefs are I'm not good enough and I'm not smart enough. Those are always my like biggest core beliefs. And I'd say it's not that I don't experience them anymore, but the way I experience them and respond to them is very different. Um, I don't sit and like wallow and spiral. I can actually be like, okay, I like know this is happening. Like I can sense it. I actually just had the I'm not smart enough one come up the other day because I'm going towards like another board accreditation. And I can catch myself in the moment and I can respond differently and like take new actions and that I never would have been able to do before. So and I share that so that people understand that, like, yes, there are sums you can you can move through really quickly and you don't experience them again. And then some of those core ones, they're always gonna be there. But the way you move through them is so much quicker and faster.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. I love that. I love that. What's one thing entrepreneurs overcomplicate when it comes to growing their business?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, one thing we I think just like the strategy and doing it. I think it needs to like we think we need to like do all the things when it's like, no, just talk about it and have a way people can pay you.

SPEAKER_01

Right. True, you don't need anything fancy, right? Get started anyways. Yeah. What's underrated, um, most underrated success habits?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, um, oh, making time to how do I want to say this? Like quieting the noise. I think as humans and business owners and entrepreneurs, we are so programmed to consume and we're consuming nonstop. Um, I'll share like one of the best things I started doing was like not listening to to podcasts or not listening to audiobooks or anything like that or training while I'm going for walks outside with my dog. So now I like listen to nothing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that white space makes all the difference, right? So much clearing comes from that. Yep. What's your go-to grounding practice before a maybe stressful situation for you?

SPEAKER_02

For me, it's so it's called the learning state. And it's really, it's just um, it takes less than a minute. So it's like you'll find a spot in front of you and you'll keep your head still, and then you'll look up like a 45 degree angle and you stay like focused on the spot, but you expand so I can see more, like I can see my hands wiggling, like right here. Yep. Um, that actually allows you to drop into your subconscious. And because your eyes are elevated, it gets you out of like your kinesthetic and your feel. So you actually can't feel any negative emotions when you're in it. Um, so great to do before like interviews, trainings, um, or or if you know anyone that's just like feeling heavily emotional to get them out of their feels, like look up.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I love that you have so many tangible things that people actually can do like right away. And so where yes, I love it. Where can people find you, Julie, if they want to learn more? And um, what would be the best place to reach out to you?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean, it's my website is Julie M is in Miri Costa C O S T A.com and then Instagram, julie.m.costa.

SPEAKER_01

And Julie, I think you had one more thing too. You mentioned a free like 30-day audio or something. How do people get access to that and what's that all about?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So activated is my self-hypnosis membership. I always say and feel very strongly that it's a great starting point for a lot of people. You have access to, I think it's like 80 plus audios at this point. Breath work audios, hypnosis audios, subliminal audios in a bunch of different categories from like money, business, confidence, clarity, health. Um, and I'm more than happy to gift uh 30 free day access so that you know people can try it out and experience the beauty of reprogramming from the comfort of their own home.

SPEAKER_01

I love that. Thank you. I'm definitely gonna try it. So I hope everybody else grabs that too. Thank you so much. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed our conversation from today. Any links we discussed will be in the show notes below. Also, we would be incredibly grateful if you would leave us a five star review. This helps us keep the podcast going so that we can continue to provide value for all of you. I hope we see you on the next one.