The 20-Year Shift in Burnout Recovery ft. Kristine Gardner

Mastering nervous system regulation for wellness professionals is the missing link between a thriving online business and complete entrepreneurial exhaustion. In this episode of Fuel The Flow, Valerie Feghali sits down with Kristine Gardner, a Life and Wellness Coach with over 20 years of experience, to discuss the reality of midlife burnout recovery.

If you are a health or nutrition coach losing yourself in the daily grind of content creation and client management, this conversation is your roadmap to reclaiming your joy. We explore how the women's health industry has shifted over the last two decades, why traditional self-care is failing you, and how to audit your automated negative thoughts. Kristine shares her signature morning and evening routines, accessible bio-hacking tools, and somatic strategies designed to regulate your internal state and help you navigate business pivots without the hustle. Discover why stepping back and taking "white space" might be the most profitable business decision you ever make.

3. RESOURCES & LINKS MENTIONED

Midlife and feeling stretched thin? 🌿✨

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Get micro-coaching, real community, and more joy, peace, and presence (plus those daily “glimmers”) 🌟🤍

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Connect on IG and join here 👉 www.kristinegardnerwellness.com

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⭐ MEET OUR GUEST

Kristine Gardner is a Life and Wellness Coach with over 20 years of experience helping women improve their physical, mental, and spiritual well-being through lasting, everyday habits. With a background in counseling psychology, fitness, and holistic health, she guides women through life transitions, nervous system regulation, work/life balance, and wellness goals. Kristine is also a proud mom to three teenage boys.

Find more from Kristine Gardner here:

Website: https://KristineGardnerWellness.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kgcaliglow/?hl=en

⭐ ABOUT VALERIE

Valerie Feghali is a physical therapist turned software CEO, helping health and wellness coaches scale their businesses without burnout. As the founder of The Wellness Vault, she provides white-label resources and strategic coaching to help you grow.

⭐ CONNECT WITH VALERIE

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/v.feghali/

The Wellness Vault: https://wellnessvault.com/

CHAPTERS:

• 00:00:00 Intro – Valerie welcomes Kristine Gardner to discuss nervous system regulation and holistic health for entrepreneurs.
• 00:01:45 The Evolution of Women's Health Over 20 Years – How the wellness industry has shifted from pure fitness to deep, holistic healing.
• 00:05:23 Overcoming Negative Thoughts in Midlife – Exploring the silent scripts that trigger imposter syndrome and exhaust wellness coaches.
• 00:09:47 How to Audit Your Automated Thought Patterns – A practical framework for stopping the negative mental loops holding you back.
• 00:13:20 Breaking the Cycle: Actionable Steps for Mindset Shifts – What to do the exact moment you recognize a toxic thought pattern.
• 00:16:30 Why the Nervous System is Overlooked in Wellness – The fundamental reason why true healing and business growth must start with your nervous system.
• 00:23:55 Physical Signs: When to Hustle vs. When to T

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I feel like something is lacking and I'm just not feeling as motivated anymore. And we are wired to actually look for what could possibly go wrong.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

When I take a break, is when the best ideas come, when solutions to the problems I've been dealing with come, is when I take white space.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

If you're constantly hustling and grinding and you're burning out yourself, your clients are gonna pick up on that. If you want to get to the end of your journey or get to your goal or whatever it is that you're working on, you're gonna feel that much better if you get there and you did it in a way where you're today.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

I'm excited to introduce you to Christine Gardner. She has been in women's health for over 20 years in every area, including mental health, physical health, and spiritual health. Today she inspires and coaches women on their own unique path in life. This might include goals related to healthy habits in their wellness routine, work-life balance, and nervous system regulation. Her passion is helping women create lasting habits through simple everyday practices that truly cause transformation. Hi, Christine. Thank you so much for coming on to the show. Hey, Valerie. I'm so happy to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

This is exciting.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

So I invited you on because we've had a lot of coaches, mentors, business coaches on this podcast, but you come at it with a slightly different perspective. You're in the grind, you're doing the work with our clients. Most of our listeners are wellness professionals of some kind, and you're doing the same work that they are doing. And I'm particularly interested in what you do because you've grown in a credible business and you're doing the work with the nervous system and woman's health, which I think is such a hot topic and such a valuable thing right now. So thank you, Ballie. You're welcome. So you've been in the wellness industry for over 20 years, right? And so I would love to know from your perspective what you've seen change most with the woman's health industry.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Getting right to it. I love it. So yes, it's hard to believe. I have been in this wellness space for 20 to 25 years. I've been married for 20 years. So I guess it's been a little bit over. It's been about 25 years. And what I see now in the wellness space is that there's a sense of slowing down. And in the beginning, or if I go back to my beginning, if you will, it was more about, okay, what can we do more? What more of? And just this sense of trying to um keep up with everything. There were so many different pieces coming into wellness and to try and learn more and understand more and just almost like this hustle culture. And what I'm feeling and seeing now is this real intention around how slowing down is actually a big part of wellness. While, of course, it's so important to have goals and to, you know, to be like to be forward thinking and to be keeping up with things, it's also really, really important to be intentional and to give ourselves permission to rest and to pause. And there's definitely more conversation around that. Where before, I don't think there was as much conversation about the importance of rest and slowing down and how connection is such an integral part of health and wellness. If not the most important part of wellness, is that connection, relationships, community. So we're bringing that into health. And that's really exciting. So it's not just, well, yes, weight training is important and fitness is important and all the different nutrients are important. We know all that, but now we're just expanding that to to different parts, like I said, about the rest, the slowing down, community, face-to-face, personal interactions, and how all those pieces of the puzzle are so important and they're all part of wellness.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

So that's um I that's what I see now. I agree. I've seen a bit of that trend too. It's funny how it all kind of comes full circle at some point, right? And then we go back, right? It comes, it's like a pendulum that swings. And I think just a few years back, there was so much talk about biohacking and all these different types of supplements. And, you know, the yes, that's still on the radar, especially with all the GLPs and everything coming out. But I'm also seeing people say, and maybe it's just my algorithm feeding me this, but also seeing more and more people say, like, well, wait a second, you know, have you just had fiber today? Have you just eaten a vegetable? Have you, did you get eight hours of sleep last night? Did you drink water first thing in the morning? Right. Did you just have those like very Yeah, coming back to that more simplicity? And like you said, the human connection, the sleep, the rest, all of that is like coming more back to that full circle, the basics. Let's get that foundations of health locked in first.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Did you pet your dog? Right? Did you hug your partner today? Yeah. And how are you speaking to yourself also? I love seeing that as a big part of the wellness trend or where we are, but really the importance of how you talk to yourself and that internal dialogue, all of that plays into wellness too, which gets me excited.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

So talk to us a little bit about that because you work with women primarily in midlife, correct? And so with that particular um group of people, what are some things that you find, some of the negative things that you find them telling themselves and how are you able to reword that or rework that with them?

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Well, let's be honest, that's where I am. So I'm in midlife now. I'm a proud almost 50, um, some 49. And so I think that it makes sense that those are naturally the women that are starting to that that gravitate towards me, uh, women in midlife. Although midlife does start as early as, and I just saw someone say midlife starts as early as 35, but most of the research that I've seen, midlife starts right around 42 is when you're in midlife. But don't quote me, right around 40 is when we're in midlife. Well, the reason women do start to come to me is because they start to get this sense of feeling of I have I have everything that I've wanted for some women. I have everything that I've wanted. And, you know, I I live in the in a in a beautiful home and I'm married and um or I'm pleasantly single and my kids are healthy and I'm at this place where I should be experiencing this sense of joy, but I feel like something is lacking and I'm just not feeling as motivated anymore. And I'm feeling a sense of, I don't want to say sadness, but just sort of blah in my life. And I can't really figure out what it is. So I have that camp, and then I also have this camp of women that come in and it's like, I am so overwhelmed. I have so much on my plate. I'm in this go, go, go mode. I've got my phone ringing off the hook, I have deadlines, I've got, you know, dinner that's supposed to be on the table, and I'm just in this constant state of overwhelm. The common theme between the two is also the internal dialogue that's going on that they haven't potentially been aware of for potentially most of their life. And it's the internal dialogue of you're so behind. Hurry up. There's so much to do. You're always running late. Why is this always happening to you? You're such a mess. You are a hot mess. Things should be done faster. And everyone else seems to have it all together but you, right? The that internal dialogue that keeps women in midlife life in this sort of dysregulated state and in this frantic state. And so it can look like, you know, hair's hair's on fire and like that that um image of, you know, she's got her coffee spilling and hair on fire. Or it can also look like the woman that's sitting on her couch and just like, help me. Yeah. Right. So shows up differently. Shows up differently, but that internal chatter can be a lot of the same. And then it's just like a it's some a light bulb or something and comes, you know, goes off and it's I don't want to, I don't want to feel like this anymore. And so that's when that first the key piece comes in is the awareness piece. And that's where we usually start is around awareness. What is that? And what what's going on? What's the internal internal dialogue? What are the loops? Because typically women have two or three dominating thoughts or loops that are going on in their mind. And that's keeping them in this uh dysregulated state or in this state of overwhelm or in that state of just like the doom scrolling. Uh and so it's it's working together to figure out what are those dominating thoughts, what are those loops, and then how can we shift the story? How can we change the story, the internal dialogue, to one that's serving you? Because most likely the story, the thoughts that are going on in her mind are just a habit. They're habits. Thoughts are habits. So what we get to do together, what I get excited about is changing the story, changing the thoughts, changing the habits, both both internally and externally. So that's what I get excited about too, Valerie, is a lot of times people talk about habits being um only habits on the outside, habits the externals. But I think it's really important to remember that habits are also internal as well.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

That's interesting. It's so interesting to think of it that way. It's it's true. Yeah, it's just something, it's routine, right? It's something that we've just gotten so used to doing. It's on autopilot at some point. And so, how do you get people to kind of audit those autopilot thoughts or internal or external habits that they're having and then start to build in new healthier habits? Right. We all have them. Are you thinking right now, what are some of mine? Yeah, I know. I am I'm a little distracted because I'm thinking, like, what are my internal thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 10:07

It's a great exercise to ask yourself. I do because I still have the same ones come up. It's not like because I've been doing this work and because I work with others, I don't have them come up as well. I mean, often. Um, but the key is the awareness piece, right? And then knowing what to do, to shift. So let me give you an example. One of mine is, um, and one I hear a lot is I'm not organized. How am I gonna get this done? I'm not a, I'm not a I I'm an accidental CEO. I'm an accidental business owner. Yeah, you know, I didn't go to business school. I can't do, I'm not organized enough.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

Oh my gosh. I'm laughing because this is a story I tell myself all the time. So tell me, I'm really interested in what what your advice is right now.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Yeah. And I have, I work, I work around this as well. I mean, to be honest, my husband's the yin to my yang, the total opposite of me. He's the forgo type A organized by spreadsheets and to-do lists. Okay. I'm the opposite. I'm a Sagittarius, I'm an Enneagram seven. Um, I I'm I am organized. So here's the story right here. I am organized in my own way. Okay. And so far, the way that I have organized myself has gotten me to where I am today, and I'm really proud of where I am today. So my organization methods may look different than yours, than my husband's, than someone else that's that like type A person. Yep. No, but that's okay. Good for them. Right. I am designing, yeah, with my with the way I'm organized now, and I always have been. So it's it's retelling the story. And I literally will stop myself on the tracks when that old loop comes up. I can't believe I am, I'm, you know, I am so ADD, I am so hot mess, I am so unorganized. I heard myself saying that a couple weeks ago, and it was okay, let's change that story right now.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

Yeah. What's fascinating is that it's like we know this in human nature. So, for example, I tell my kids this stuff all the time, right? Like, don't compare yourself to somebody else just because somebody else, or just because we said your sister is doing a great job at this doesn't mean that you're doing a bad job at this, right? Or just because this person does it this way and you admire that about them doesn't mean that your way of doing it is wrong or anything about it. And so it's interesting how we can from a from an outside perspective see it in other people, but not necessarily be able to see it in ourselves when it's happening within ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

And so well, and it's just owning, it's owning who you are and all parts of yourself. And I actually listened to another podcast you did on the imposter syndrome. So we won't go into that, but you know, in the in the age that we live in now and the access to the social media and all the things that we're seeing, and we can get caught in that trap really quickly. And it makes it even easier for us to get in our heads and make up all these stories that just aren't true about ourselves. And all that's gonna do is keep you stuck.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

So, from a tangible perspective, what can people do when they've recognized the the pattern that they're telling themselves or the words that they're telling themselves and they know when they're doing it and they know that they need to change it. So they're past kind of the awareness phase. What is like a tangible tip that you have people do? I mean, are they doing affirmations?

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Are they something that they're doing? So a really simple one. A lot of times when women first wake up in the morning, men and women wake up in the morning, the first thought is, I'm so behind. Because we look at our phone, right? The first thing people do is they wake up and they look at their phone. Instantly they feel behind. So a a tool, and I know we've all heard this this one before, and I'll give another one, but is we don't want to look at our phone for the first hour in the morning. Okay. The phone's not the first thing. I know you all have heard that, okay. So instead of not looking at your phone in the morning, or instead of um grabbing for your phone in the morning, I always encourage the first affirmation to be, especially when you're working on affirmations, because that's not normal for a lot of people to even be thinking about affirmations or mantras. And I learned this from Dr. Eamon, who I follow and I love. He studies brain health. I guess it was about three years ago. I'd picked up on this, maybe even more. First thing in the morning, first thing you think of, today's going to be a great day. Today's going to be a great day. And I added on to this and expect miracles. Not miracles. Not I'm going to be looking for miracles. I expect miracles. And miracles doesn't necessarily mean you know it's going to start raining money. It doesn't mean that something, a unicorn's going to fly across your window. Expect miracles. Like your coffee's going to be warm this morning, you know. Um that's huge. If there's you're going to hit all the green lights on the way to work today. It's you're you're going to have a really nice flowing morning with your children, and kids are going to get to school on time. Like, whoo, that always feels good. So it's it's it's simplifying that. It's expecting miracles in your everyday life. And again, training your brain, this is what we're doing. We're training our brain, we're rewiring our brain to look for the positive. Because most of us, yeah, we are wired to actually look for what could possibly go wrong. Right. So a lot of it's shifting that.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Yeah. Yes. I do think that when you open yourself up to those miracles, right? I call it magic, whatever you want to call it. It's like it is everywhere, but you have to almost be actively looking for it, right? Because our brain inspired to see the negative. So you do have to be in consciously aware and consciously looking for kind of the magic all around us. And it truly is everywhere. And it's funny that you say the green lights because I feel like so fired up when I get all the green lights, right? Going to the gym in the morning or wherever I'm going. Yeah, it's such a simple, small thing, but it makes life that much more fun. Yeah. It brings joy.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

People also uh resonate with glimmers. Look for the glimmers, right? Look for the good. Like that too.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

So talk to us because you are the expert in nervous system regulation. Talk to us a little bit more about why that can potentially be the missing piece for a lot of people when they're focused on other aspects of their health.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

So I don't I what I think, Valerie, because I didn't for so long, I just don't think people are thinking about it. And they don't understand what exactly the nervous system is and how it plays into their everyday. And so it gets overlooked. You know, you it's it's sort of like the um people will say, oh, you know, it's I've had such an insane day, and oh, I'm a hot mess, and I'm just crazy and I'm so overwhelmed. And that's we go back to what we were talking about before. That's just the story that they live in. But what they don't realize is that this is something internally that's going on that potentially their nervous system is dysregulated. And they don't realize that it is something that they can work on to work with their body. It's a mind-body connection to work together to help their body feel more in flow and to help their their mind and body feel connected so that they feel regulated, that they feel balanced, that they feel present, that they feel joy. And all and and also that yes, you can feel the sadness and you can have a day that's overwhelming, and you can have you can have those hard days. But the difference is you know how to recognize that, what's going wrong, what's feeling chaotic in your day, and be able to go to be able to pause and think, okay, what do I what do I need right now internally? What do I need right now to give back to that that feeling of calm so that I am so that I can shift from this feeling of chaoticness back to a sense of a little bit more peace today. It maybe it's not going to be that you're in total peace, right? And so you're just having one of those days, but you're aware of it, you recognize it, and so you can utilize tools to get back to that place of okay, I'm starting to feel a little bit more regulated. And I know that maybe over the next week or over the next couple of days, I really need to tune in to what my body needs and even ask those people around me, you know, for for support or for help right now, because of what I'm feeling, to kind of get back to that feeling of ease and flow and presence. Really good. And that's what one of the states is, to get back to that flow state. So I think that's really important to note that when talking about nervous system health and having a regulated nervous system, it doesn't mean that you're always in this flow state. It means that you recognize your body and you recognize your body's signals and you know what to do in order to get your body back to a place of feeling safe. And that's also an important word is that word safe so that your body does feel feel safe at home.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Right. Yep, which determines so many of our decisions that we make throughout the day, the actions that we take throughout the day. If we're not feeling safe, right, it's going to look a lot different in what we're what we're able to do and get done. And it's funny because we're talking about slowing down and all of that. But in some ways, do you find that this is actually working on your nervous system and slowing down can actually be strategic for productivity, for growth?

unknown 20:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

You're I feel like you were gonna answer that question too. Yeah. I'm wondering from your perspective, because I know my perspective, but yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:14

Yes, I absolutely do. And I think for a long time there was that we were in that hustle culture. And um do we always felt like again, we needed to do more and do it faster. Now, I will say there are moments in time and there are seasons in our lives and in our businesses where we do need to be in that um, and I'd love to insert another word besides hustle, but we're working harder. It's a little bit more of a grind. It just is like that's reality. Okay. So it's not like I'm lit living and floating on this cloud here. But I do believe that if you want to get to the end of your journey or get to your goal or whatever it is that you're working on, you're gonna feel that much better if you get there and you did it in a way where your body and your mind were connected and you felt a sense of presence and you felt a sense of peace for 90% of the time versus flipping that, right? And for only 10% of the time. So that's what I think the goal is is how can you grow more, expand more, create more abundance in your life, meet more of your goals. I mean, I have all that too, but doing it from a place of presence, a place of regulation, a place of not having to feeling like you have to do 25 things at once. So slowing down, slowing down at different times so that in order, or so that you can like later speed up later, if you will. That's what I think is important. And and then taking breaks, taking pauses along the way too, right? So if you have three or four days where you're just going at it and you're in hustle mode to get something done, a project done, you Know okay in two or three days, I'm gonna block out this amount of time to take a little pause here.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Yeah. That's where I see coaches get stuck. And and I do tell coaches, I think we're in this weird era right now with AI taking over and all this. Is I do see a lot of gosh, this is for lack of better terms. And I'm sorry for anybody who takes offense to this, but I do see a lot of lazy business owners as well. And so I do see people who think that, you know, I'm just gonna hire a coach and they're gonna do it all for me. Or I'm gonna hire the service and do it all for me, or AI can figure this out, right? And so they're actually not putting that like creative um work in, and that, yes, we do need to work in order to grow our businesses, right? That is the reality. But I think what I see on the flip side of that is that other that coaches who are doing that and they're putting in the work, that they almost never stop. It's like, and then they burn out, right? It's like they get into that flow, and then like you said, we get into these habits or routines, and it becomes a habit or routine to work 10 hours today a day and not take a lunch, you know, to do those types of things. And then it's hard to break it. And so finding a balance.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

Totally finding a balance. And also what you said, Valerie, too. I think it's really important that if you're constantly in that hustle or that grind mentality, it actually um prohibits your creativity.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

A hundred percent. If you I have absolutely found right, yep, that when I take a break, yeah, is when the best ideas come, when solutions to the problems I've been dealing with come, is when I take white space for sure.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

And you also want to be a mirror to your clients. I mean, they pick up on that too. Yeah, if you're constantly hustling and grinding and you're burning out yourself, your clients are gonna pick up on that.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

Yep. So for the coach or the woman who's can't necessarily differentiate between like what's too much and what's not enough, how much rest do we need, how much rest do I not deem need? Are there physical signs? Because I know we talked about the kind of mental internal signs, but I thought I also find that sometimes it's hard for people to like recognize when that's happening. Are there some physical signs that you're like, okay, you're about to go over the edge, like you need to take a step back. Yeah, you need to take rest.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

So some of them, and some some of you all may have heard some of some of these that I'm saying, you know, you always hear the wired but tired, the tired but wired, right? So you're exhausted, but then you go to sleep and you're just staring at the ceiling, or you're waking up at three o'clock in the morning. And yes, we can say that's hormones, and it's also related to your nervous system. So that I think that is a clear sign. And I've 100% had it myself. I mean, I think about it when I'm stressed out, when I'm overthinking, when I have something on my subconscious, I'm up at night and I'm staring at the ceiling and I'm stewing. Okay. The other one, um, and this was a big one for me, that I didn't realize what was wrong, um, is the eye twitching.

unknown 25:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

So I don't know if you've ever experienced that, or some of you listening have, but I was experiencing, experiencing that quite a bit in my last um with my last job towards the end, and I couldn't figure out what it was. And it was the eye twitching is um anxiousness and exhaustion. It can be a sign of burnout. So the eye twitching is another big one. A lot of times sweating. And this is one that it's and sometimes the sweating is linked with not such a great odor as well. It's almost like a weight your body's trying to detox. So interesting. Is it the odor? I've never heard that one. That's really interesting. And the snacking, that's also another big one. Like if you find yourself just your hunger cues are really off and you're snacking, you're craving more sugar. Yep. Maybe you're craving more alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Um Christine, I feel like you're like talking to my soul right now. I'm like, oh gosh, I need to uh get my I need to work with you. But it's thinking of all those except for the sleep issue. It's it's the opposite with sleep. My head hits the pillow and I'm out.

unknown 26:04

But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Neither, excuse me. And I haven't always had the pillow, but then sometimes like I said, if in the states where I have a lot of my mind, it's up in the up in the middle of the night or just waking up really early in the morning or my dreams are off, whatever it might be. Um, and especially I notice that one if I'm not sticking to my evening routines, my evening rituals, if I'm looking at my phone more. I mean, if you really take a step back and you look at it, you can typically say, like, oh yeah, okay. This I this this makes sense by this going on. Um another one is just like more fidgeting, more shifting, can't get comfortable. And some another one is like nail biting, nail picking. Okay. Um some people have it like with their hair. Like I've actually seen people pulling, pulling at parts of their hair, the hair twisting and twiddling. Just all these like nervous habits that can come up.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

Yeah. So it's like you can almost see it in their body when looking at them that they're uncomfortable, uncomfortable in some way. Yeah. Hey, sorry to interrupt, but if you are a health or wellness professional and you haven't yet checked out the wellness vault, you're missing out. The wellness vault is a content hub for coaches who create their own plans and programs for their clients, run workshops, create digital guides, and so much more. You can now do all of this in a fraction of the time so you can focus on your clients and grow your business faster than ever with more U time. The link to the Wellness Vall is in the show notes. So go sign up for your free trial today. So you talked a little bit about, you know, when your morning or afternoon routine is really off, but then you start to feel a little bit dysregulated. So, can you talk to us about what's your morning and evening routine and kind of what do you recommend as a starting place for people who don't have one?

SPEAKER_01 27:46

So I think this is really important because again, on social media makes us feel like we need to have this hour-long, crazy morning routine or all these different, you know, the vibration plate and all the different drink concoctions and all the supplements and all the things, right? We know. We know. Here's what I want to say a morning routine has to align with your personality and your life. So that's one of my favorite things when I start working with clients is I'm not gonna hand you um a written-out morning routine. Your morning routine is not gonna look the same as mine because we are totally different people. But we're gonna find something that works for you. And it's and permission to change it. That's the other thing. Yeah. It doesn't mean because this is what your morning routine is gonna be right now. It's it's not it's not gonna be the same in the summer. I can tell you that right now. Your kids are home and the sun is coming up at a different time, and your sleep patterns are different. So what I think it's really important to also say permission to change and to shift things around in your morning and your evening routine, depending on your lifestyle and how much time you have. And to me to come back to your question though, and to simplify and to really and to give to give an answer that we can all take something away from, it's important to have three anchors. Okay. So have a morning anchor, an afternoon anchor, and an evening anchor. And your morning anchor anchor, Valerie, can be as simple as what we were talking about before. First thing in the morning when you wake up, today's gonna be a great day. That's a routine. Okay, you waking up and looking, some people are like, I don't have a morning routine. I'm like, do you look at your phone first thing? Yeah. Oh, you do have one. Right? So when you wake up in the morning, first thing today is going to be a great day, and then grab your water. Okay, that's a routine too that you have already filled up. 16 ounces of water. It is sitting by your bed. There's no friction. That's really important too. There's no friction, it's there. And when you go downstairs, if you're gonna alkalize and you want to have your lemon water, the lemon's already cut. There is no friction. Your electrolyte is out, your supplements are there, right? So it's all my I do love the vibration plate. I know it's getting a lot of I was gonna ask you about that. But I walk down the stairs and there it is. It's not down at my gym. It's not down in the TV room. You know, it is at the bottom of my stairs. And um, and I love it. I I do. I stand on that, and I love I'm a big habit stacker too. So I've got my vibration plate, I have um I have my cacao or I have my water, and I stand on my vibration plate with my morning drink. And I have the sunlight, it's like perfectly aligned with the sunlight. And so I just stand on there and sometimes I'll do some stretches. It also depends on just what's going on around me with the kids, with my husband, if I slept well. So permission to change. But I would say the two things always today is going to be a great day and get my mindset right. And then drinking my water and then depending, and then doing some sort of short meditation, dropping in, having that internal connection with myself. I also love, and I think this is really, really easy to do, and we don't do this enough, is just asking yourself in the morning, like, what do you need today? What do you need today? Like, what does your mind need? What does your body need? What does your soul need today? And your body will tell you. I mean, especially if you wake up one morning and you are you did not have a good night of sleep, permission to not like feel like you have to go do the HIP workout. Maybe you still want to go outside and absolutely get outside and go for a 20-minute walk. So you are still listening to your body and you're still getting out and you're moving your body. But you know what? If you only got four or five hours of sleep last night and you had a rough night, give yourself a break. Get outside, take a walk, but do the hit tomorrow. That's why sometimes I have a really hard time with it. It's like, well, you have to do Monday, Wednesday, Friday is your you know, push-pull and Tuesday, Thursday, and da da da. Well, what happens when it's your cycle? Or what happens if it's raining outside? So, you know, we can be so hard on ourselves and it's that permission to change things.

SPEAKER_00 32:00

So I know that was kind of a long answer. No, I I like it. I like it. And it brings up a point. So I do want to ask you about what are some of these, you know, biohacking for lack of better terms, techniques or tools that you think are worthwhile, and ones that you're like, eh, we could do without that. I know, right? So I mean vibration plates, blue light blockers, um, you know, I'm trying to think certain supplements, like what are some things that you're like, this this is worth looking into. And yeah, I know, you know, that's for those, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:34

So, okay, let me just give you a couple that I think are that I think are yeses and that are free, that you have them. That's gonna be my first goal. So sunlight is a yes and it's free. Okay, we know that. Get outside, take your glasses off, get that morning sunshine. It like to my husband sometimes he loves to go right to work. I said, and I'll say, just stand outside your office for literally, please, one minute, and just let the sun hit your eyes. Okay. So get your sunshine, get your water, do your affirmation. Those are all oh, cold plunging your face. That is another great love that get your face in a cold, just dunk, you will feel right away. Just if you maybe on one of those nights you didn't sleep as well, dunk your face in the water and just hold it under there 10 to 20 seconds. Uh or get an ice roller.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

That's also a really tool to use. And we're just for people who, you know, don't know exactly just cold water from your sink is fine, right? We don't need to go like grab a bucket of ice and throw it in. Like we just cold water from the sink.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

I mean, I add a little bit of ice to it. And then I also love all the ice rollers and you can find those on Amazon. Skinny Confidential has a great one. But they're also, you know, you can even take those little ice packs that are just that if you have, you know, sore muscles and you put them on, put them on your face. So good. So those are some. Um, I do love the vibration plate. I actually think it's great for lymphatic drainage. Um, if you if you just do not want to do one, you can. I I think washaw is a great tool. Um, that's great for lymphatic drainage. Also, I um for supplements. I know, I mean, supplements, you probably have an entirely different episode on this, but for me, um I'm not a doctor, but I definitely recommend electrolytes. Love electrolytes. And there's 10,000 electrolytes out there, but I always look for one that's low in sugar. I mean, I love trace minerals. I do love element. I don't think we always need a whole packet. So sometimes I'll just break it in two. But um I do love my, I do love the electrolytes. Um, but you can also make your homemade electrolytes, also. Vitamin D, I think for the most part, and again, you'll only know what you need if you run your labs. But yeah, I typically uh vitamin D, magnesium. I think most of us need a magnesium. Although I did have one client one time that had a bad reaction. So I always say, just connect with your doctor. You never know. Not prescribing. And I do love red light. I think red light's great. And I think you can get that in different ways. Um, the red light mat, you can do the uh the Lumi box. People have all there's all different kinds. Now there's like a red light washaw, all kinds of ways to get your red light. I personally don't think a whole cold plunging, like if if I was gonna have to spend my money in different ways, I probably wouldn't invest in a whole cold plunge. I would just do my face. Yeah. But that's just me. Um I do love sauna. I think sweating is so good for us and detoxing, but I will say you can get a great detox if you take a bath every night, which is what I I actually have a sauna. Right. And I don't use it as much because I take a bath every night and the water's pretty hot work out. And I sweat.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Yeah. Take a bath, work out. I know. I I although I love a sauna, right? I don't think that it's like a major investment that people should make in regards to detoxing. Just go put a sweat on, go, you know, lift some weights or take a bath or do something different that will make you sweat. That's the whole idea behind it, right?

SPEAKER_01 36:06

And so we can get bored sometimes. And if you just break up to like what we were talking about in the beginning of our conversation and kind of, you know, where wellness is going, it's okay, well, you can also take a bath and sweat. You can go hug your hug your partner and you will release those those endorphins and the oxytocin.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

So curious from you, I'd love to hear a little bit about how you've built your business and you've pivoted quite a few times, right, throughout your career, like many of us have. And you've raised three boys. And so, with all of that, women that are trying to start these businesses in particular particular can sometimes feel a lot of responsibility, right? Between taking care of the family and then also trying to grow this. And I know when I started growing my business, I had a lot of guilt around it because I'm like, sending my kids to after school care. Should I, should I not be? Should I be picking them up? Right. And so it's yeah, it causes a lot of guilt, a lot of stress, a lot of anxiety. But I would love to know from you, you know, how you found building a business as a woman and what pivots you've made and how you've done them gracefully. Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

I hope gracefully. Um and still going and still, still pivoting. And I think that's just life. And that's what, to me, that's what keeps it exciting. Also part of my personality. You have to know your personality. But first, I just want to say no guilt and no, no guilt, and don't be so hard on yourself. And I think that as women, we can, we can get in our own way and we can make up these stories, just like you were starting to say. And I don't know if that was personal, but I'm just going to use that one of, you know, I should be spending more time with my kids, and I feel so bad they're doing the afterday care and they're doing this daycare and all of that. They're probably having a great time. They're just there playing with their friends than you feeling like you're half there and half not. And you're on your phone or you're trying to finish up getting your emails out or finish up whatever you're doing at work. But but the kids are home, so that means I'm with them. Right. It's a good way of looking at it. Let them go to the daycare and have fun and with their friends there. And then when you pick them up at six o'clock, just know that you're done and set that boundary. I think the boundary piece is huge. And as moms, as women, we then we try to do it all. And we can't do it, we can't do it all well all at the same time. Yep. And so you have to give yourself some grace. You're working to help support your family so that you, your kids can go to the camps that they want to go to, and you know, take the trips that they want to go to or sign up for the the ballet class they want to go to, whatever it is, that's why you're working. And although you don't need to say that to them and put that on them, you know in your heart, that's why, and they do too. Trust me, now that my kids are older, one in college, one almost, you know, a a junior in high school and eighth grade, they get it now. They may not when they're, you know, tan and under, but eventually they will. They will get it and then they start to appreciate it more. So that makes sense. I just wanted to say that.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

So yeah, I like the boundaries too. Boundaries are big, yeah. Setting those boundaries, right? And like just saying, okay, tonight we are gonna be done at six o'clock, not just for other people, but for myself too, that I need to snip the computer at six o'clock.

SPEAKER_01 39:26

Well, and that goes back to the nervous system dysregulation we were talking about before, too, Valerie. Like, I will notice, listen, listen, I'm not perfect here by any means, nor am I trying to make it sound like I am. I find myself on my phone, and my kids are the first ones to tell me no. Like, get off of your phone if I'm on my phone. Okay, so it's a conversation. I am actually going to go and leave my phone upstairs in my room. Nothing is urgent. That's another one. Nothing is absolutely urgent unless, you know, you have something in your life. But for the most part, that email that you think is urgent, you can wait until later. Probably even tomorrow. Absolutely. So then there's we were talking about biohacking and different tools. There's tools now, right? The brick came out, you can break your phone, there's ways to lock up your phone so that you stay out of it if you need that. Yeah, use those ideas. So for me, I've so that's like a big one. And I and I do talk about that with all my clients, and I remind myself of that all the time too. Like, let go of the guilt. Guilt is not doing anything, not at all. They're probably not even thinking about it. It's you, it's your own story. Change the story. I have um been in wellness for 25 years, as we had talked about before. So I have my master's in counseling. I all through grad school, I was in fitness. So I was teaching fitness classes and I was training fitness um instructors. I was working at small studios and loved it. Um, and then when we moved to Los Angeles, I was still um, I was still fitness training. And at that point, I was teaching like 10 to 12 classes a week. And and I was doing some um maybe even more than that. But anyway, 10 to 12 classes a week. And I was doing some blogging and ghostwriting for wellness before blogging was even really a thing. And then fast forward, had two kids, had two boys, and then three. And throughout all of that, I was doing fitness and but knew that I wanted to do a little bit more and wanted to start providing a little bit more for our family. So I was introduced to a company called Beauty Counter. It was Clean Beauty. So I got into the direct sales space. I'd never done that before, didn't know what that was, but really enjoyed that for about 10 years and built in a ginormous business, learned a ton, and learned so much about the importance of toxic overload, clean beauty, all of that. But then really started to feel my own burnout and wanted to make that pivot again and starting to take the cues from other women around me as well. And so that was when I started meditating, getting very in much into meditation. And so I started small meditation groups for women, doing it online, and the meditation groups turned into small coaching groups and then small coaching groups, then I shifted more into one-on-one coaching. Then I was doing a little bit of all of that, creating my own online course, then started studying with IHP Institute for Health Practitioners, then started doing a little bit more with nutrition, started doing some nutrition and health coaching. And that's where I am today. It's all sort of so it all kind of fits in together. But now primarily my focus is on um on coaching around nervous system health, around all different types of wellness, but specifically mindset, nervous system, and how to incorporate more incorporate more joy and peace in your everyday life.

SPEAKER_00 42:58

And what I want people to hear from that is that you absolutely can shift. You can make changes, you can pick. So we talk a lot about, you know, in business sessions about how you do have to kind of pick a niche. You gotta be able to talk to a specific person and be able to message, right? But it doesn't mean that you're stuck doing that for the rest of your life. So just because you've kind of people will say, Well, I don't want to put myself in this box because then I can't do this or I can't do that, but you absolutely can do this and that if that's the passion that you're being pulled towards later in your career. But whatever you're being really pulled towards right now, that's what you should be focusing on in the moment and kind of pick that, narrow down a little bit. And there's always room for for movement later in your career. You can always pivot, you can always change. And you've done it, you know, so beautifully throughout the years from fitness to beauty counter to you know health coaching and that one meditation before that. That's a lot of different areas of wellness that you've that you've worked in and that you've covered. And I would guess. Guess that when you made those pivots, you never quite felt like you were starting over, right? We take the skills that we learned from one area and we apply them to the next area. You know, you probably learned a ton of stick sales skills from Beauty Counter that you've then been able to apply to your current business. And so it's never starting over. It doesn't mean that if you pick one thing and it doesn't work out that you can't layer go back. You can always go back and do something else or do something completely, completely different. But take those skills that you learned and apply it to the new sector, right?

SPEAKER_01 44:33

Absolutely. Oh, and I also and do what brings you joy.

unknown 44:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 44:39

Well, that's fun. Absolutely. You know, and kind of look at where you are in your life also. I mean, that was a lot of where I, where I am now. I I I needed, I needed more meditation in my life. You know, I needed that permission to slow down. And I needed some, I needed more community. I wanted more community. And so I started. So my best friend and I started um, we co-host wellness retreats for women. And we started doing that last year. We've had three retreats. We're just about to go to Ohio. Love them. All of them have sold out. And it's it's um, we call the midlife women's wellness retreats.

SPEAKER_00 45:17

So talk to me about that because one thing that is so important right now for people to listen to is that community and that to high higher touch a little bit with people, the human connection, which doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be from you, but it can be from a community that you've built around your brand, around your business, right? That can help support people. But right now, as we know, with AI taking full force in the information space, that information and education just is not as valuable as it once was. But we're what we're lacking right now is that community, is that human touch. And so talk to us a little bit about how that's been working for you in both your, you know, community, your online community that you have, and then also these now live in-person retreats. Yes. So I love community.

SPEAKER_01 46:05

I mean, that's always been a part of me teaching fitness classes, bringing women together, even with Beauty Catter, bringing women together, having teams. I was sort of always that the person like to bring bring people together. It is. I mean, you just have fun. It is, it's joy to be in community with other, with other people. And so at this moment in time, and I think it's really important also, just like we were saying, to look at where you are. And I realized, you know, I want to bring women together in person. We women are craving some potentially some travel and to make less decisions, to have things done for them, to experience wellness in different ways. And so that was my my best friend and I, Cynthia, thought, you know, let's go for it. Let's let's just try this and see what happens. And so that was what we put together our our wellness retreats. It was we didn't know if anyone was gonna sign up or show up, but the women were really excited about the idea of coming together, wellness, hiking. We do a little, we do cacao ceremonies, we bring in other experts also. So we're not just leading everything. You bring in experts, so women are learning from other people, they're connecting with women they've never met before, and then leading with this sense of connection and joy and peace and how fun that we just spent three days together and didn't have to make a decision because we planned everything. Yes. So you have that those bigger community events, but then all the way down to this weekend, I'm doing um an in-person event at our uh local fitness studio. And we're I'm teaming up with an RD registered dietitian, and we're talking about hormones and habits and happiness and getting women together and having a panel and having a discussion in real life about it. And really looking forward to that. Again, we get to hi, it's so good to see you. It's we're in real life. And I also lead online, my sacred circle community group, where these women are coming from all over the country. Um they, you know, all the way from actually one woman in in Canada, all the way from Colorado to New York, right? All over the country. And and we get to come together and talk about all things midlife, what's bringing us joy, nervous system regulation, tips, dreams, manifesting, um, and just seeing each other. And I think that I think a really important piece too, what women always say after our group circles, into our women's circles, is it just felt really good to be seen and really good to be heard. And also it just didn't feel like I was so alone. Like I'm not the only one that's feeling that.

SPEAKER_00 48:44

Oh. That's so powerful. So powerful. Yeah. Just that connection right now is needed. And so I love what you're doing. For people who want to learn more about you, get in touch with you. What would be the best place to find you?

SPEAKER_01 48:59

Well, I'd love to hang out on Instagram. I really do. I um was trying to get over to Substack, and then this is actually in real life. So you'll y'all will quickly learn about me. You ask one question, you get a whole story. I'm working on this, Valerie. But this is where in in real life, um, I love Instagram. So find me on Instagram. But I was like, okay, I should try Substack, right? I need to get over on Substack and I should be over on TikTok and all these things. And I just the other day I was saying to my own, my, my, uh, my VA, let's let's pull Daphne's Upstack. I gotta let me just focus on what's working and what feels you 100%. I I I can't go and interact on Substack every single day for half an hour now, too. Yeah, but you do R. And it's such a cool platform. But hello, you can find me on Instagram. Yep. And yes, I do my sacred circles, which is an online membership, and we meet once a month. And then I also provide um weekly meditations. Um, I do some um somatic movements. I still incorporate exercise and movement into my work um because I just love it. It's just a natural thing. And mini coaching, and then I do do one-on-one coaching also. So okay.

SPEAKER_00 50:14

Well, thank you so much. I will put your Instagram ham Instagram handle in the show notes, um, and also the link to your sacred circle. So thank you so much for coming on. I've loved this. Thank you for having me. I love chatting with you. Bye now. Bye, everybody. I hope you enjoyed our conversation from today. Any links we discussed will be in the show notes below. Also, we would be incredibly grateful if you would leave us a five star review. This helps us keep the podcast going so that we can continue to provide value for all of you. I hope we see you on the next one.