Because of Gabby Part 3 Happy Birthday Gabby

How Gabby Petito Saved Me is a deeply personal, survivor‑centered podcast episode -part 3- where I share the story of how Gabby's legacy became the catalyst for my own awakening, healing, and freedom. Through Gabby’s light, I found the clarity to recognize abuse, the courage to leave it, and the purpose to speak out so others don’t have to walk the same path alone.

Each episode part 1 and 2 in season 1 episodes 3, 12, and 13 and now season 2 episode 10 part 3 blends raw honesty with education and hope—unpacking the realities of domestic violence, the insidious nature of narcissistic abuse, and the emotional journey of rebuilding a life after trauma. I honor Gabby not by retelling tragedy, but by carrying forward the awareness, compassion, and advocacy that her story sparked across the world.

Gabby’s case sparked a nationwide conversation about:
• Intimate partner violence, emotional abuse, and coercive control
• Missed intervention opportunities, including the Moab police stop where she appeared distressed
• The power of social media in mobilizing searches and public awareness
• The importance of recognizing red flags in relationships
Her story also led to the discovery of other missing persons during the search efforts, amplifying awareness far beyond her own case.

Gabby’s parents—Nikki and Joe Schmidt, and Joe and Tara Petito—have become powerful voices for domestic violence awareness. They regularly speak at universities, community events, and survivor‑focused gatherings to educate the public and push for systemic change.

In the aftermath of their loss, Gabby’s family created the Gabby Petito Foundation, dedicated to:
• Supporting domestic violence survivors
• Providing resources for families of missing persons
• Funding prevention, education, and awareness initiatives
The foundation has become a central hub for advocacy, offering tools, guides, and community support.

Gabby’s story continues to:
• Inspire survivors to leave dangerous situations
• Encourage communities to take domestic violence seriously
• Drive national conversations about prevention and accountability
• Support families searching for missing loved ones
Her impact is ongoing, powerful, and deeply human.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Gabby Keto never goes outside.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Guys, welcome back to True Crime with Tiff Klein. This is season two, episode 10, and this is part three of Because of Gabby. And if you missed it in the first season, I did do episodes 12 and 13 because of Gabby part one, because of Gabby and me, part two, and this is because of Gabby part three. Today is Gabby Petito's birthday. She would have been 27 years old today. I am just, I don't even have the word. How crazy it seems to me that five years has flown by that quick since the world lost Gabby Petito. Holy crap. I mean, I it feels like just yesterday that I remember seeing this whole case on TV and I was so invested. And I'll get into that in a second, but five years already. And today it's a sad day for her family, obviously, and friends that knew her. And it's also bittersweet because there's so many people's lives who were changed because of Gabby. And that is a hashtag on social media, hashtag because of Gabby. And I do know that's something that her parents hear every single day, all day long, whether it's text messages, the GabbyPetitoFoundation.org messages, emails, direct messages on so many people saying that Gabby saved their life. And if that's not leaving a mark on this world, I don't know what is. I am a domestic violence survivor. And because of Gabby, I was able to finally get the courage to get out of my second abusive relationship. Now, this one wasn't physical, it was narcissistic, mental, verbal, emotional, and um, it was worse than the physical that I dealt with. But that's just me. And I know what I'm about to say is not going to make sense to people. I not this ex, but the one before that strangled me. But the damage that the narcissist did after him left long impacts that finally made me go to therapy and, you know, self-reflect and find myself again and work through triggers that I do every day. A little bit of a backstory. My name is Tiv Klein, and I am 38 years old. I have survived two abusive relationships with two pieces of shit that I gave way more love and respect to than I ever should have, and lost myself while doing it. When I was 20, I met one of my exes online. And like Gabby, I moved away from my entire support system, my college, my friends, my family, my hobbies, my life for a man and moved to Pennsylvania from Ohio and moved in with his parents. Sound familiar? Over time, we got our own place, and which is weird is I ended up back up in a place where my grandfather was born and raised in Scranton, PA, which I just find so ironic. I remember coming here when I was little because I grew up about an hour away from here, down past Stroudsburg. And I ended up back where I came from without trying. And it's very odd to me, but I do also believe that everything happens for a reason. I'm a very strong believer in that because it's the only way things make sense. And everything was great, you know, when I met him and the love bombing and the oh my god, he gets me so much. And oh my god, where have you been my whole life? You know, talking all day long, all night long, and finally meeting um in March. It would have just been 17 years, March 12th, 2000s, 2009. Um, I drove out from Kentucky to Pennsylvania with my friend and met my ex. And it was great. It was just love at first sight. You know, we were already talking for for a little bit, and um no, I'm sorry. I met him online March 12th, 2009, and I met him in person April 16th, 2009. So in April 2009, I drove out to Pennsylvania with my friend and um stayed for the weekend, met his parents, and I didn't want to leave. And the whole way home I cried. And uh he came out to visit two weeks later, stayed for I think two weeks, and I made an overnight decision to pack my shit and move. And I did, and I I left everything and everyone behind. My mom wouldn't talk to me for six months, she wouldn't let my brothers talk to me or my dad. I guess it was a tough love. Um looking back, I wish I would have given in, but my whole life I've butt heads with my mom with an authority thing. I just have I at the time it was all about control in my head, and I was fighting the power, so to speak. And I wanted to spread my wings and live my own life and make my own mistakes and learn from them. And holy shit, did I did I do more than that? So I guess she thought by cutting everybody off, I would change my mind and move home, but it only made me more pissed off and I stayed there longer. By October of 2009, we got our own apartment in Scranton and we lived there for about five years. And if you go back and listen to my other episodes, um, I don't want to get into the full details of the abuse I endured. I've I've talked about it so much in my other episodes. Again, seasons one, episode 12 and 13, and three will give you an insight of the abuse I endured. But that first one, it didn't start until about five or six months in, and then didn't stop for nine years. Nine years I suffered from physical, mental, emotional, verbal, financial abuse, and um lots of things smashed, lots of body parts injured. And towards the end, he wanted me to co-sign a van that looked just like Gabby's. I swear on the Bible, I was an in social media influencer, blogger, and that was my goal. I did accomplish that a few years later, but um that was my goal, and he wanted to travel the country in a van and be a nomad, and I didn't want to do that. And at the time I was secretly planning to leave, and I had already found a roommate, but I was waiting until the time that I could actually go, and she had a bed ready for me. And the day that we test drove a van, I really didn't have a choice. He wanted me to co-sign and I had really good credit, and I said, absolutely not. Fuck am I gonna co-sign this and be stuck with your ass? That was, you know, in my head. But I told him, I'm like, no, I'm not co-signing this. I don't want a van, I don't want this into my name. So of course I was the worst human on the earth. And when I got home, I had my shit thrown all over the front yard. His dad's yelling at me like I'm the problem, and then I get strangled for it. Um, and that wasn't the first time I was strangled. I was strangled, I want to say maybe a few months prior, and I blacked out. I don't know how I survived, but I should have left. I should have left in October of 2009 when he first laid his hands on me, but I didn't. I thought it was one of those he'll never do it again. And you know, the whole, I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I didn't mean it, just happened over and over and over again until your point where I just lost myself and I was scared to leave because my whole existence depended on him and revolved around him. I had no friends, no car, no family, nothing. And I felt ashamed. I felt like I failed myself and my family. And because I always had a chip on my shoulder and always had to prove a point, I felt like if I went home, I failed and I just stayed. And the longer I stayed, the harder it was to leave and to the point where I just stopped trying. The more abusive it got, the more of I lost myself. People always say, like, well, why didn't you just leave? If it was that bad, you would have just left. If you've never been abused, please shut your mouth. Please stop saying that. You have no idea the torture that goes on in your mind, the tug of war of loving somebody because you're trauma bonded and have Stockholm Syndrome, and loving yourself and you know you need to leave, but you're afraid that if you do, they're gonna find you and kill you, or they're gonna hurt your family because they've made threats, or you don't have money because they have controlled all of it, every dime that comes into the house. And you have no friends, and you can't tell your family you've been abused. So, you know, my parents didn't know for nine years. And I hate when people say, like, oh, her, you know, when it comes to Gabby, her parents knew. I'm gonna tell you right now, because I know Gabby's parents, if they knew, she wouldn't have gone on that trip. And if they knew, they would have flown out to get her when she called after the police had pulled them over. She was an adult and they couldn't force her to stay home. So it was kind of like me. I left and had to figure it out the hard way. I have lots of regrets, but at the same time, I feel like if I didn't go through the abuse I did, I wouldn't be here today with this podcast. I wouldn't know all these awesome people from Crime Con. I wouldn't be a volunteer for the Gabby Petito Foundation. I wouldn't be raising awareness on domestic violence and missing persons. I wouldn't be as passionate about it because I believe in order to make a difference, to really make a difference and an impact, you have to walk in those shoes. And unfortunately, I did. Would I trade it for the world? I mean, obviously, I don't want trauma. I would do anything to not have triggers and trauma, but I'm also proud of myself for getting through that and speaking about it now and not being ashamed anymore or being afraid of what people are gonna think or what my abusers are gonna do, because I I don't give a shit what they're gonna do. They had their time to clean their mess up. And as I always told them, don't push me to the point where you're gonna regret it. And I guess they just underestimated me, and I'm sure they regret it now because I didn't back down and I told everybody the truth. And I have a PFA, I'm the most recent ex right now, for stalking and harassing. And um, he violated it, and the PFA got another year extended, and he had to pay a fine. And um, I guess people just don't know when to stop. And I don't regret the love I gave to people because I at the time I believe they needed it. I just regret giving too much and not loving myself. So that was one relationship for nine years, and I block a lot of it out. There's a lot of things I don't remember, a lot of things I do remember, and some of it's a blur, and some of it I don't know if I'm, you know, make up or not when it comes to the good stuff, but um, I don't remember a lot of the bad stuff either as time goes on. It's been about eight years, nine years now since I left a physical abusive relationship. And I have my, you know, I still have dreams sometimes of my ex and feel trapped, and I wake up with anxiety, um, and little things remind me. And I I don't really remember my 20s much. I'm 38 and I I remember bits and pieces of my 20s, but it's almost as if it didn't exist. I think I've disassociated from that part of my life so hard that it's almost like when I talk about it now, I'm I'm telling somebody else's story. Like I don't really feel emotion behind it. I don't know how to explain that, and I don't know if that's weird. I remember the first time I actually told my story in full was to Gabby's mom last March. We did a Zoom call and she let me just go for like an hour and a half and just I let it out for the first time, and I told her everything that I went through. And um, I'll always be grateful for that opportunity because that was the day I took my power back. Mickey, if you're listening to this, I love you. Thank you so much. That was the day I fully went the world's gonna know. And my exes now know that I aired out their dirty laundry, and it was published on the Gabby Petito Foundation.org website under the blogs, and on I put it on my um podcast. It's season one, episode three. It says my interview with Nikki Schmidt, Gabby Petito's mom, my story of domestic violence. I had told friends over the years, bits and pieces, but never in full. And then I met my most recent ex, and uh he he's a monster. He's evil, he's disgusting, he's vile, he's I have a lot of bitterness and hatred towards him. And you think I would feel that with the person who put his hands on me, but I will tell you this I personally feel like bruises heal, bruises disappear if you're lucky and you get out alive. Things can be replaced, but mental and emotional and verbal, narcissistic abuse is the worst. And I would never in a million years wish that I'm my worst enemy to have to deal with the aftermath of narcissistic abuse until you have gone through it. Your brain can't comprehend that somebody can be that twisted and evil and vicious and a soul-sucking energy vampire and just so malicious and deviant. And I knew about narcissists before I met this most recent ex, but holy shit did he take it to a new level. You know, a master's in psychology and did readings for people to give them insight and guidance. And this whole time would tell me people who go to therapy are weak. Sir, you you have a master's in psychology. And that should have been my first red flag. And then refer to himself as Freud sometimes. That should have been my 99th red flag. And I just looked past things over the years, and again, you can listen to my other episodes about all this, but I was with this person when Gabby went missing. And although he didn't put me in physical danger um at the at that time, now I I don't know what he's capable of because I don't know. Anyway, he um at the time it didn't occur to me that it was abusive because I had left somebody who strangled me. So I just thought, you know, it could be worse. He's not hitting me. So in my head, I was justifying the emotional and verbal abuse and mental abuse and the gaslighting and the mini manipulation and him disappearing for days to weeks to months on end and then rolling in like nothing's wrong. And then when I explained how it made me feel, I was crazy, I was neurotic, you know, this is why he doesn't put a ring on my finger. And it was always back to me. When I caught him cheating, when I when he would disappear for a while, he wouldn't add me on Facebook. He didn't want anybody to know about me because he had 10 other girls on the side. So we had to hide us all from each other until a few of us figured it out, and now we're good friends. That's another story. However, it did at the time did not resonate to me that I was being abused because I was overlooking so much because I was comparing it to my previous relationship that almost killed me. And I just, you know, it it was a constant trying to figure this person out, trying to always be a step ahead of them, trying to always catch them in something devious. And I didn't realize like it was it became so obsessive of me trying to set an example out of him and make him realize he's not gonna fuck me over or pull wool over my eyes, and I'm not another dumb bitch that he's gonna get one over on. Like he must, he could have manipulated a hundred girls in a life and he wasn't gonna do it to me. So I made it like my mission to show him like I'm always gonna be a step ahead of you. I'm always gonna call your ass out. I'm always gonna know before you tell me or before I bring it up to you. Just know whatever you're doing that's devious and deceitful. I'm gonna know because I have dreams about it. I have hell of an intuition, and I just pay attention to detail. And that's the hyper-vigilance in me. I don't mean to do it. It's just a um coping skill and that's a mechanism to protect me. So I can see a picture and notice one little thing off in it and be able to bust you in a lie like no one's business. And I don't like being like that, but you learn to be like that to protect yourself. When I look at pictures, I pay attention to detail. So, you know, every time I I would bust him, it became like more of an addicting challenge. And I didn't realize how toxic and abusive we were to each other. And I'm not gonna sit here and say that I was 100% innocent because I ran my mouth when I felt disrespected. I had reactive abuse, right? He pushed me to my my limits so much and made me feel so crazy that I would just snap and scream and toxic text and send like 200 text messages in an hour because I just couldn't, I was like so out of my body that I was reacting without thinking and feeling. And I would get to a point where I would like disassociate and I'd black out and I wouldn't remember driving. I I would go numb. I wouldn't remember getting to where I was, I wouldn't remember conversations or places I was. And it, it just this happened over six and a half years, and that takes a toll on your mind, body, and soul, man. Like you become addicted in this cycle, and you don't realize you're also not only abusing yourself, you're abusing them because you're so bitter and so resentful and so angry and tired of trying to get your point across, and they just don't give a shit, and they don't listen, and you scream and you repeat yourself a million times and you cry and you beg and you know, you try to prove your worth to somebody who's filth, somebody who couldn't value me, someone who disrespected me, someone who cheated on me, lied to me, talked shit about me when I wasn't around, was only in a relationship when he felt like not cheating on me. But if he wanted to cheat, then suddenly I was just his friend. Of course, this is what I find out now, you know, later on down the road that he told certain people that I was just his friend. But no, we were together for six and a half years. But I was only his friend when he wanted to stick his dick somewhere else. So I'm gonna try not to go rated R on this, but I get heated up because I I just get so mad that I let myself succumb to that for so long and felt like that's what I deserved. Like that was the best I could do. And you know, he had the nerve one day to tell my old roommate, I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. And she says she remembered sitting there like, you're disgusting. He was the worst thing that ever happened to me. And the only credit I will give to him is I met so many people because I met him. I am at where I'm at now because I made life decisions and choices and pulled myself up from the ashes and rock bottom and put the work in and the self-reflection in and the therapy and the long nights by myself and breaking the codependency and working hard and hustling and having side jobs. I did all that myself, not because of him, not because he showed up in my life. No, he made my life worse. But I had the strength inside to somehow continue and pursue my goals and reach my goals and set ambitions and deadlines and things I wanted to do on my bucket list. And it's just one thing I never let get in my way was men getting in my way of my success. That's the one thing I've always kept and no one can ever take away from me is my drive, my ambition, my hustle, and my success. And those who know me know I'm a tornado, so to speak. So it was really hard at first to realize I was being abused from day one. Just, you know, voluntarily telling him information that he would hold against me years down the road when it was perfect timing for him, or squinting his eyes when and, you know, smirking at me like he got one over on me. And just looking back, it's it's all right there, black and white. But when you're in it, it's hard to see it. You know, they always say with your rose-colored glasses on, like that's not a lie. And when they come off and the ugliest fucking person that walks this earth, I saw him in court and I was like, ugh, like you're so disgusting inside and out. Like, what the fuck did was I doing, right? I finally saw what everybody else saw. And it took me years to catch up. But the important thing is I saw it once and for all. When Gabby passed away and they found her body, I fell to the floor. And I remember this was September 19th, 2021, and um her mom reported her missing on September 11th. But no one had heard from her since August 28th or August 30th, and um, I prayed so hard that she was alive. When I saw Gabby come across the TV, I immediately thought of what I'd been through and I lived it. The van, the social media influencing, being strangled. My ex had left me in the middle of nowhere once, and I had to find my way home. And that's traumatizing, you know? And um, when they found her, I specifically remember making hot dogs and macaroni and cheese and falling to my kitchen floor crying because I thought to myself, that could have been me. And then all the signs of this new relationship started not sitting with me well. When I started seeing all these people come out saying, because of Gabby, I survived, because of Gabby, I left an abusive relationship, because of Gabby, I'm alive today. And I thought, well, because of me, I left the last relationship, but because of Gabby, her presence and spirit reminded me of what I'm capable of, what I will no longer tolerate. I had noticed I was repeating patterns in myself and going down a road where I was repeating relationship patterns. And because of Gabby, I became a more aware of the abuse in my relationship that I wasn't paying attention to and was really invested. You know, like I've said in multiple episodes, I never missed a press comp or a press release, an open on-camera court proceeding hearing, a documentary, an interview. I mean, anything that was put out there, a podcast, I I'm telling you, I watched it or listened to it. Every breaking thing on WFLA and News Nation, because I followed JB Bueno and Sprinett and Hard for that case. And I used to say, I'm gonna make a change. Gabby inspired me. I'm gonna make a change in my life, I'm gonna help other people. And I'm gonna meet her parents one day. They inspire me because they're they co parent amazingly, they're strong, they're inspiring, they're making changes in the world, they're saving lives, and they're turning their tragedy into something terrific and doing something good with it. And I was like, I want to meet them so. So bad and people thought I was crazy. Like I had this guy back in 2021 22 literally rip me apart on Facebook because he's from this area about how much I posted about Gabby and how much of a loser I was, and I need to pay more attention to the people in this area and stop glorifying Gabby Petito and you know, someone that's just on TV and how I wanted to meet her parents, and he told me I was stupid, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So that I just used that as ammo and motivation because I I run off spite. And I told my ex, I'm like, I'm gonna meet her parents one day. And he's like, Yeah, okay, whatever, Tiff. And I'm like, okay, whatever. Just wait and see. And I did. And now I'm a volunteer with the Gabby Petito Foundation. I sponsored and volunteered at the second annual Gabby Petito Golf Tournament. And I'm doing that again this year at the third annual. I was with them at Crime Con last year, and I will be hanging out with them this year. And I talk to Nikki and Tara almost every day, you know, more so Nikki than anybody, but I adore all four of them. They're great people. And I still look up to them every single day, and I still thank them in my heart every single day for the things that they're doing. Because when I was being abused, I wish there were people out there like them talking about it, making changes, going to the courts, going to the governor, gov to the laws and legislation and posting awareness online. I mean, you're gonna think back in 2009, Facebook wasn't like it is today. I mean, that's almost 20 years ago. There wasn't domestic violence awareness all over. There weren't these all these Facebook groups and TikToks and you know, things have changed. And I I wish back then we had people like them helping people like me because I needed it. I didn't know where to go, who to talk to, what to do. So it wasn't so much because of Gabby that I survived. I will say that now, but in the moment it was because of Gabby, I started realizing I'm worth more. I when she passed away, I I realized I wasn't happy and I knew something was off, but I couldn't figure it out because I was never in a narcissistic, you know, relationship. And here is just about a six-minute clip of the interview that I did with Nikki March of 2025, and we're talking about how abuse isn't always done by the hands and more of um mental, emotional, verbal. So here's a little clip of us talking about that and how I didn't recognize it at first.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Of abuse, which looked very different into another relationship. Because do you feel like because you found this person when you were at your low, that that was why it was more easy for you to fall into this rather than yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:49

I didn't give myself time to process and grieve and heal and fund myself. I just went right to the next one, and I I became very codependent on him because that was the second time I started my life where I had no friends, no support system, and I used him and I just like dug my claws into him of oh, he's my lifesaver. He saved my life. Like, if it wasn't for him, I probably would not be here today. And like I gave him, I put him so far up on a pedestal that I just idolized him and I saw just the golden rays of heaven on him. Like, I I don't know, everyone used to say, like, what do you see in him? And I'm like, I I can't explain to you what it is about him that makes me like this. He just drove me in a good way at the time. He drove me crazy. Now he drives me crazy in different ways, but um, he had this aura aura around him that just made me addicted. And I wanted to make him proud. I don't know what I was doing, but it it's just weird to think that I did it twice.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Um it's important to explain that because people think, well, if you go through it once, you there's no way you're gonna let that happen again.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

But that's I said that when I left and went through it for another six years and no, he never laid his hand on me. I'm thankful for that, but who's to say he never would? You know, or just the the trauma alone of what he did mentally and verbally, just and I never realized how bad it was, and I've been out since September, I'd say. And now looking back, I'm like, holy shit, like seeing things from hindsight. I was like, I I saw him in court and I just wanted to puke. I was like, what the hell was I think? I don't it's just so weird that you're just the different lens now.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

You're you're like, wow, that was me. You probably don't even feel like you, right? Like you're detached a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Yeah, yeah. It was very odd standing next to him because I didn't just didn't feel like we ever had a connection. It was a very emotional day because it was it was just weird. Like he just felt like a stranger to me. Um, but that was the there was just something about him, but he knows how to psychologically get in your head, and it's scary it to let somebody do that and see the how many people he's done it to.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

That moment in court when you took him, was that powerful for you? Did they give you like your power back in a way?

SPEAKER_01 27:17

Yeah, uh, Jim was with me, and um again, Jim has his own story with him, but I was standing in front of the judge, and I had I was in a room full of people. Now I never knew that court hearings like that were in a room full of people. That was the first time I've ever done that. I thought I was just gonna go in with the judge, me, him, and now there's every like bench was full of people. And I'm like, this is sad that this many people are in here for a PFA. That was an eye-opener. But when I got in front of the judge, he was next to me and he like he's always got confidence and he kind of like cowered that day. And I just, to me, I told my boss, it was like another sales call. I walk up, I give my story, I give my pitch. If you buy it, cool. If not, like I I'm giving you the truth. That's my job to tell you. And if you believe me, all right, bold. If not, like I'm not gonna stand here and try to persuade somebody to believe me that I was abused. I didn't even get that far because he asked for a continuance. So the second time I go up and stand in front of her, he's standing next to me and I don't make eye contact, but I strep my shit right up there with my boots, like I'm going in to make the biggest sale of my life, and I stood there with my head held high, and I did not, for once, just let him have that satisfaction because uh it's not that I was afraid of him for my life. I don't want to say that he made me feel I was in danger that but the fact that I saw him out of character and him hit somebody else, and I've never seen that with him. He's the most calm person you'd ever meet in your life, made me wonder what is he capable of. And I had to teach this kid a lesson because it was like, you're going to keep bothering me and you're going to keep manipulating me. And obviously, I'm gonna keep allowing it. I have to draw a boundary for myself and if I have to go to the law to do it because I know right now he's so manipulative and controlling, Nikki. He's probably the only thing that he's pissed about is that he can't manipulate me right now. Because if he does and makes contact, he goes to jail. He has no control. And it's not that, again, I don't think he would have, you know, taken my life at all. But God knows if he's out of character, I don't know what he would have done. You know, from the little that I've seen from October to January was not the person I knew for six years, and that was scary. I was like, because he he was he's very cares what people think, he has a reputation he's gotta uphold. So for him to act like that in public was scary to me.

SPEAKER_00 29:33

Because I was like, well just uh with coercive control, yes, there's been a lot of studies done, and um, women who have been taken by homicide, that was actually the first physical thing. Coercive control doesn't mean they're not going to harm you, so that you the fact that you said that's important because you're like, oh, maybe he wouldn't have he could have. It could have.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

He obviously had a switch and you saw it flipped, so and that was when I when I did the yeah, when I did the PFA, like when I first went, I felt guilty, and then at the end I was like, no, because he could have came to my house, he could have flipped the switch when he got drunk and hit me. Like he could have strangled me. I'm not saying he would have, but I didn't think the other one was gonna do it either, and he did. So and I didn't want to take chances this time. It was kind of taking a um precaution for myself and setting a boundary for myself and for him, and that you're not going to hurt me anymore. You cross this line, you're gonna have a consequence because the kid never had consequences his whole life. But I wanted to feel safe emotionally. I couldn't physically feel safe if I'm emotionally and mentally not like the anxiety and the stress and not eating and it's affecting my work. Like, just because he wasn't hitting me doesn't mean I wasn't getting abused or I felt traumatized by him because he did a lot of damage to me. So and unfortunately, it took me another three years to leave. And it just got worse and worse and worse mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and um, we started being really mean to each other verbally, and the paranoia got worse for me. Always wondering who he's with, where he's at, who he's messaging behind my back, and it just became so obsessive. And I I don't know if it was a lack of self-esteem, or I became so engulfed in trying to prove a point to him that he wasn't going to treat me like everybody else. And come hell or high water, I would make his life a living hell if he continued his shit. And um, I left, I left him before I just started acting out in ways in public that I didn't want to because that's a reflection on me. I worked in the media at the time. I have a name in the community, and there were times where I wanted to throw a beer in his face or, you know, flip out on him in a room full of people, which I did once. I don't regret that, but it was just a boy like a pot of boiling water, like a teapot. And he he just wouldn't let me off the the back burner. Just I boiled and boiled and boiled, and I just snapped in public and just screamed at him and made made a fool of him and let out all the dirty secrets and dirty laundry from six years. And people that knew him were just like, what? And I'm like, yeah, this is what I've been dealing with behind closed doors because he's so manipulative and conniving that people didn't realize that's how evil he was behind closed doors. You know, looking back to 2021, when Gabby passed, I started noticing signs and flags because I was listening to all the stories about her and all the stories about other, you know, victims and survivors. And I said, this isn't right. Something's wrong with this relationship. But I was, I don't know, I was just so trauma bonded that I couldn't escape. I just, I don't know if I I put him up on a pedestal so high because I felt like if I didn't meet him, I just may have taken my own life because when I left the ex before him, I was so depressed and I was at rock bottom. When I met this other one, he kind of put that spark back in my life. Little did I know it wasn't a spark, it was fucking love bombing that turned into a trauma bond. And um I was anxious 24-7 for the whole six years. And I ended up getting really sick. Um, my immune system crashed uh a few days after I went to court with him and put a PFA on him, and my immune system crashed. I ended up in the ER. Um, all that negativity, it's like the rotten fruit theory next to the fresh fruit, and eventually you're gonna turn rotten. Like I got so sick from the narcissistic abuse and my body being constantly in fight or flight. I ended up taking FMLA for work this past October to about January. And I can't tell you all I did was sleep. I slept and laid in bed for four months and just rested because my body and mind and soul were so worn out from 17 years across two relationships of abuse. I could not take anymore. So I took, you know, I paid into short-term disability and I worked at the company for seven years and I started missing more work than usual. And I decided to take that FMLA because I paid in I paid into it and I needed a freaking break, man. And you have to work so many hours for a company, so your job's protected, you know, up to 12 weeks. And I took the full 12 weeks this past year and made some life changes. I took a lot of time to just think. I went home this be with my family for a while. Um, I went out there twice over Thanksgiving or Christmas, but I had to sit with myself and my demons and my self-destruction and my codependency and my triggers and my trauma and what I really want from life. And I don't think I would have done any of that if it wasn't for Gabby. Now, again, today's her birthday. She would have been 27. The blonde, blue-eyed beauty who just was a free spirit. And from what her moms have told me and her dad's, she just seemed like a lot of fun. I love listening to Joe Batito talk about her. It's almost like he's in so much awe of her. And um, she inspired him, you know. Getting to know all four of them. Like I said, I know Nikki more than most of them, but um, I would say I'm more acquaintances with Jim and Joe than I am with Nikki and Tara. Because Nikki and Tara are like the ones on Zooms a lot and Teams calls and um socials and Jim's out training first responders about domestic violence and lethality assessments, and Joe's out there taking names and kicking ass and getting legislators changed and working on laws, and they're all doing their part. But I I just talked to Nikki and Tara more. But um Joe and Jim are always so kind to me when they see me, and I can't wait to see them in May and at CrimeCon. I'm so looking forward to it. But it took me three years to leave the ex that I now have a PFA on from the time Gabby passed away until October 2024. It was hard. I'm not gonna lie. Cutting someone off cold turkey and your drug addiction to that person and you know, cutting them off and shutting them out and acting like they never existed. It takes a toll in your body, mind, and soul. And it was like I was having withdrawals and it's it was horrible. I literally felt like I was coming off a drug. I was like, I need my fix, I need my fix, but it wasn't the person. It was the cycle. It was the fight or flight, it was the adrenaline, it was my nervous system looking for that high, that dopamine hit real quick, you know. Um, and I suffered and I did go through a withdrawal. Um, and again, it wasn't the person could give two shits about him. It was the trauma bond and the the chemical reaction of my brain um that I had to I had to get through it and it was hard. And my friends that were there for me, they know who they are. I tell them this all the time. You know, there's three, there's three in particular, maybe four, that just supported me through the entire relationship and also supported me when I left and never judged me either way. But they also gave me tough love and told me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. And that to me meant more than the world because there's things now I tell other people when I hear them going through these types of situations, and the advice I was given is now coming out of my mouth, which is pretty cool because I'm the type of person like I hear stuff, people tell me stuff, but it takes a while for it to process and set in, and then I apply it. It doesn't just click immediately. But I'm glad that I finally started seeing the abuse. And my goal, I always wanted a true crime podcast, and I wanted to meet Gabby's parents more than anything, and I wanted to help victims and survivors, and I'm doing all that. And I have to say, because of Gabby. Again, she didn't, I don't want to I don't want to say in the moment save my life, but she did it ultimately because she made me think about my life more and w made me want to travel and made me want to live life for me and not for other people and to do more things and stop being afraid of doing things and stop waiting for the quote right time and just do it now. And she inspired me. And I'll be forever grateful for Gabby, even though I didn't know her. I have this thing I tell Tara, her bonus mom all the time. We have this thing with dreams, and I have dreamt of Gabby a few times, and I've told them some of the dreams I have, and there's some symbolism behind it, even though I never met her and my electronics get messed with, and just things that can't be a coincidence and um little things that I share with them, but they know how much Gabby's legacy means to me and how much they mean to me. I know a lot of people have said what they've had to say about me being so invested in this story, but if they only knew how close it is and how much I can relate to it, maybe they'd understand it a little better. But I also have to say, because of Gabby, I can now spot red flags. I can now analyze people and things and situations better and more clearly than ever before. And because of Gabby, I make better decisions. Because of Gabby, I love myself more. Because of Gabby, I travel more. Because of Gabby, I have more love and I'm a kinder person. Because of Gabby, I see the world differently. Because of Gabby, I set so many more goals and believe in myself, so much more. And I tell, I've told her parents this. I feel like Gabby was put on this earth for this purpose. And it's not fair for someone that they loved so much to be taken away from them. But I honestly think she was put here for a reason and taken at that time for a reason. And it changed, she literally changed the world. She touched the world, as Joe says all the time. Like, think about it. The past five years, because of Gabby, how many people's lives changed? And people used to get mad. Well, why is she all over the news? Why are they giving her the attention? And Joe would say, That's the media. Blame the media, not us. Every person that goes missing should have the same amount of attention as Gabby, he would say. And that's still his mission today. And it is about the media. And they went with it because it was a story. But if you think about it, her goal, her goal was to be a famous vlogger. Her goal was to have a name online on social media and make it and be an influence. And she went up over and beyond everybody in this country just about knows who Gabby Petito is. Everybody across other countries know who Gabby Petito is. And if they don't know what the story is, they at least know who she is. And he would cut her down and tell her she would never do it. And boy, did she show him. And I'm very proud of her. And I don't know her, but I feel like in the afterlife, you still have your hands in the pot. You can still make things happen. And you're just energy that's transferred somewhere else. And I don't think anybody just disappears and goes black in space and that's it. Like I I I strongly feel that the afterlife are still here, just in different form. And the things that have happened since Gabby passed, the stories her mom told me, I I just I think she's around. And I I really do feel like it was her purpose to help save lives. You know, it was I don't want to say she sacrificed herself, but her a soul contract, if you will, she was placed here for a reason. And because of one person, how many people's lives were saved. I mean, that if you could leave an impact on the world, man, that's beautiful. That's what it's about. And I'm getting cold chills thinking about it because I didn't know Gabby, but I knew Gabby because I walked in Gabby's shoes. I lived Gabby's life. I hid it from people. I made everybody online think everything was great. And I thank Gabby because I don't think I'd be as far as I am in life right now if had I not ever knew of Gabby. I hate what happened to her. I hate that she would lived in fear up into her last moments. I hate that she felt so broken and anxious and tired. I hate that she protected him. But I know why she did. I understand why she did. And if I ever sat in a room with Gabby, we could sit in silence and communicate because she wouldn't have to tell me anything because I lived it. I am wearing my Gabby Petito Foundation hoodie. You can get it on their website, Gabby PetitoFoundation.org. It's green. I have to order a new one, it's worn out. I'm gonna get some necklaces that I saw on their Facebook page that somebody made. The flower that is coming out of the triangle actually have tattooed on my arm, but I'm gonna get that necklace, and then the ones with the mountains is the one Gabby actually wore um until her last breath. And I she just seemed like she was a cool chick. Just fun. There's a video that I always tell Nikki I absolutely love, and it's with Gabby and her best friend Rose. And Gabby brings Rose a bag of like fun toys and snacks, and she just laughs. Like I think there was like an etch a sketch and a squish ball, stress ball or something, and I don't know. She's just laughing so hard, and you can just see her pure joy and spirit. I mean, I don't know how anybody could have been in a bad mood around her. It makes me smile. I wanted to kind of piece together these three episodes. Like I said, season one, episode twelve and thirteen. Episode 12 is the ex from 2009 to 2017, and episode 13 is the ex 18 to 2024. And then episode three was my full interview with Gabby's mom, Nikki. Um, and then I talk about abuse throughout other episodes, but um it is a crime. It's true crime because I lived it and domestic violence is a crime. Taking lives is a is a crime. So as my podcast may talk about a lot of domestic violence and missing persons, it's all a crime. It doesn't have to be about serial killers and speculations. I talk about real stuff, that's why I call it true crime. I personally want to thank Gabby Petito and her parents for being so vulnerable and open and healing a little bit inside of me. I I know when I left their golf tournament last year, I stood on the steps of Willow. Greek golf country club and the sun was setting and I hugged them all goodbye. And I was supposed to stay that night, but I couldn't. And um it was so surreal that I was filled I was in a room surrounded by three or four hundred people that were all there for the same cause. And I finally got to meet her parents after my ex told me I never would, after the guy online made fun of me. And I got to meet them. They were my heroes and they inspired me, and I still do every day. And I'm so honored because even though I didn't know Gabby, I get to know a piece of her. When I'm surrounded by all of her parents, talking, having drinks, joking around, crying, I get Gabby because she is a product of all four of them. So just imagine, you know, I that's how I feel. That even though I didn't really know her, I got to know her through them. And they work so hard and they face this every day, their lives. And their lives have changed too because of Gabby. They've met so many people, they've traveled so many places, they've saved so many lives, and that's their purpose. And they didn't know it at the time. They didn't know it until it happened, but synchronicity of people. So Tara, Jim, Joe, Nikki, I love all of you. I'm beyond grateful and honored to know you and call you my friends. I'm so sorry about Gabby, and I've told you all this. But today I just wanted to do this episode and talk a little bit about her and how she helped me get to where I am today. I am a career woman with a podcast, and I've met so many people over the past few years because of Gabby. I left a piece of shit. And she was always on my mind up until the day I left him, and she's still on my mind almost every day. And I've accomplished so much in the past five years, let alone two, because I always have Gabby in my heart and intention. I don't know if it's possible to platonically have I don't know the word for someone you never met. It's not love, but such thanks, such honor, such I don't even know the word. Well, I I have no words, but Gabby means a lot to me. And anything I can do to help her parents and the foundation, they know I'm I'm always around. And um I'm truly blessed and honored to be a volunteer of the Gabby Petito Foundation. She was beautiful. She loved the Beatles. I found out she loved avocados and um she loved the draw. She loved her art, man. And um, she has a Pinterest. I found her Pinterest board and I was sending Nikki some pins that I said, oh, this would make a great t-shirt. And as I'm going through her Pinterest boards, I find a lot of the same pins in hers that I have in mine. And I said, Yep, there's great minds think alike. So it got it gave me a more of a perspective on who she was looking at her Pinterest. You know, she had goals, she had aspirations, she had dreams, she had a sense of humor, she had a quirkiness, she had a lightness to her, a light. And if I can honor her by helping save other people just by telling my story or putting on a flyer or making a post, then I've done my job. Because you never know who needs to read something, see something, hear something. And they may not reach out to you and tell you, thank you, you saved my life, but they're watching. And some people may never admit it. Just because people don't always engage doesn't mean they're not listening. So the Gabby Petito, happy birthday. Thank you for all the lives you've saved. Thank you for the touching the world. Thank you for leaving a legacy. Thank you for your parents. Thank you for saving lives and giving others a voice to be a voice for others. I'm looking forward to seeing your parents at KremCon in May and at the third annual golf tournament in July in Long Island, introducing my mom to them. She's heard me talk about them for five years. But most of all, thank you for giving me the courage, strength, and inspiration to tell my story, especially to your mom. You know, I'm telling you this as if you're sitting here because I feel like it's important sometimes to tell people how you feel, even if they're not physically able to see you. I believe she can hear us, and I'm just a strong believer in the afterlife. And um proud of her parents. Proud of her parents, I'm proud of her, and I have met so many cool people through this whole experience and good people, people who want better for the world. There are a million Gabbies out there. There's a million people who've survived, and there's a million people who haven't. And we need to keep talking about it. We need to break the stigma and we need to not be comfortable, you know, not be silent to make other people comfortable. I refuse. I will no longer stay silent to make somebody else comfortable. I'm not doing it. I don't care. I don't care if people think and look at me differently because I'm a survivor of domestic violence and I tell my story. I I don't care if they listen to my podcasts and they hear the awful things I've been through. I don't care. Because if I had someone telling me that stuff, I may have made decisions a lot earlier in my life and probably would have left a lot faster. So I'm being the woman that I needed when I was abused. And because of Gabby, I'm doing that. And I hope I'm helping people. And I ask you one thing before I wrap up this episode is if you can go to GabbyPetitoFoundation.org, donate to the foundation so they can continue helping find missing people and saving lives. They're also doing a million to one campaign, and it's a movement of one million people rising as one voice. Gabby's voice. Join the movement. One dollar starts it, every dollar strike and strengthens it. You can donate. There's a leaderboard. So far, they've raised$9,914. Their goal is a million. When Gabby's story reached the world, it awakened a movement. It reminded us that every victim deserves safe help the moment they need it, no matter where they are or who may be watching. As we traveled the county sharing the message, we saw a heartbreaking truth. The technology victims need simply doesn't exist in most places. Across agencies, there are no consistent tools to protect survivors from digital surveillance, cloned devices, hidden tracking, or even safely reach out for help. Meanwhile, abusers are used using advanced technology faster than the systems meant to protect victims. Reality led us to form the Committee for Victim Technology Reform and to partner with experts who could help create the modern safety tools victims deserve. At the center of this work is what has been missing for far too long, Hero QR trademark, a discrete referral system that we are working to develop alongside our partners at Looped Solutions. Hero QR will give policies, I'm sorry, will give police, EMS, fire, and healthcare professionals a safe way to connect victims to help instantly, even if their device is being monitored. Hero QR will fill the gap between being seen and being safe, between being silenced and being heard. Your dollar helps us build this tool and bring it to the first responders across the country, giving survivors a lifeline at the moment they need it most. Your dollar helps us build this tool and bring it to the first responders across the country, giving survivors a lifeline at the moment they need it most. This is the heart of our million to one campaign. One dollar becomes one voice, one voice becomes thousands, thousands becomes a million, and a million voices can protect those who cannot speak for themselves. One voice sparked a movement. A million can help build the tools that will save lives. Just one dollar starts the movement. Every dollar strengthens it. Where does your dollar go? Your support directly funds the development, security, and national rollout of Hero QR. That includes training first responders on how to use Hero safely and effectively, building and maintaining the technology, including the protected back end that keeps victims safe, continuous security upgrades to stay ahead of stalker wear and digital threats, and ensuring Hero remains a truly clandestine tool for both survivors and first responders. This is the heart of our million to one campaign. One dollar becomes one voice, one voice becomes thousands, thousands become a million, and a million voices can build the tools that help victims stay safe. If you go to givebutter.com/slash Gabby's million, you will see it. You can donate, you can read more about it. I also posted on Facebook today on True Crime with TIFF Klein or my personal page, TIFF Klein, a fundraiser to raise money for the foundation. You can buy some swag. There's hoodies, there's phone cases, license plates, shoes, notebooks, tote bags of Gabby's foundation. There's so much. I have so many things. It's getting out of hand, actually. There's home goods, there's holiday fun, stickers, tumblers, water bottles, mugs, sacks, tank tops, crop tops, hoodies, stuff for the kids, polos. Oh, just go check it out at the GabbyPetitoFoundation.org and go see what they have. And now again, those necklaces are on there. I'm gonna be ordering those soon. There's so much. I love it. And and they're always updating stuff and they're open to ideas too. So if you could go to that and make a donation, even one dollar helps. One dollar helps. If you can spare one dollar, it could go a long way. A long way. So I appreciate you all for those who do post about domestic violence, for those who care, for those who are a voice for others, for those who can't be a voice, but listen, for those who are in an abusive relationship and that you want to get out, please have a safe plan when you leave. Please. If you go to the Gabby Betito Foundation website, they have a list of safety planning, how to support victims, national domestic violence hotline. You can call 1-800-799-SAFE or go to the hotline.org, call 911, the National Center for Victims of Crime, National Sexual Assault Hotline, Dymstic Shelters.org, International Resources. They have a whole list of resources to help connect you to get the help that you need. Upcoming events, like I said, their third annual golf fundraiser coming in July. There's an alliance, there's programs that they are putting in place, like Gabby's Light, Gabby's Alliance training, missing persons, youth programs. You can get involved. Ways how to help without spending money. You can make an impact. You can volunteer. You can share things on social. There's so many ways you can help. Just sharing a post. So I do want to thank everybody for supporting Tara, Nikki, Joe, and Jim, for supporting the Gabby Petito Foundation, for helping find missing persons and helping victims of domestic violence. I want to I want to thank all the good cops out there and all the good judges and lawyers out there. And I want to thank all the good men and women out there that don't hurt other people. But most of all, I want to say thank you, Gabby. And in the words of Gabby Petito Be a nicer person! This is true crime with Tiff Klein giving criminals the disrespect they deserve.