{Flashback Episode} Becoming the Woman Who Can Hold More | Episode 20

Join me as we go back to episode 20 for a memorable part of my story this week! Let's take a look back at it together:

This episode is for the moment when the story you’ve been telling yourself stops working—not because you failed, but because you’re being asked to become someone who can hold more.

Not more hustle.
Not more pressure.
More support. More truth. More wealth in its real forms.

This conversation is about the quiet identity shift that happens when you stop performing strength, stop martyring yourself, and finally allow yourself to receive the support you keep saying you want.

We talk about what it really means to manifest—not as wishful thinking or perfect routines, but as embodiment. As becoming the woman who can receive what she’s been asking for.

In this episode, we explore:

• The difference between wanting support and being willing to receive it
• How control, martyrdom, and “doing it all” quietly block abundance
• Why manifesting is about identity, not forcing outcomes
• How other women are essential to building sustainable wealth
• The way motherhood reshapes leadership, ambition, and support
• The identity shift required to move from survival into embodied abundance

This episode is for:

• Mothers who feel like they’re carrying everything alone
• Women who crave support but struggle to accept it
• Builders who are exhausted from proving their worth through burnout
• Women navigating wealth, leadership, and visibility after motherhood
• Anyone who knows she’s meant for more but feels stuck between control and trust

“In order to receive what you are asking for, you have to become the woman who can hold it.”

If this episode stirred something in you, here are a few ways to keep the conversation going:

Download the Tell Your Story Firestarter — a free guide to help you get your story out of your head and into embodiment, leadership, and action.

Book a 30-minute vibe check if you want clarity, support, or space to talk through what you’re building and becoming.

And if you’re here for community, stay close. This podcast is a room for mothers, builders, and leaders who are done doing it alone.

You don’t have to earn support by suffering.
You don’t have to prove your worth by carrying it all.

Wealth isn’t built in isolation.
It’s built in rooms. In relationships. In trust.

And you were never meant to do this alone.

RESOURCES + CONNECTION:

Find Ashley on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsashleycrabb/ 

Download the Tell My Story Firestarter: https://ashley-crabb.mykajabi.com/opt-in 

Book a Vibe Check Call with Me: https://calendly.com/itsashleycrabb/30min 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Wealth and Mothers, the show where we rewrite the rules of success. For women who are building businesses, creating wealth, and raising families all at the same damn time. I'm Ashley Crab, and this isn't a show about balance, productivity, or doing more. This is a space for mothers who know they're caring more than anyone acknowledges, and who are ready to turn that into power of leadership and wealth. Here we talk about what it actually looks like to create a movement inside the reality of motherhood. The invisible labor, the identity shifts, the ambition, the pressure. And the truth that none of it disqualifies you from wealth. It qualifies you for it. Because mothers don't need to shrink to succeed. They need to be seen. Let's get into today's episode. I did a speaking event on Monday, February 2nd. And it was, it was so awesome. This event was with the Beauty Boost Lancaster. The Beauty Boost is the national organization, but they have a local chapter here. And the Beauty Boost is all about bringing women together, connecting with women in your community, supporting other local business women, lifting each other up and just loving yourself a little bit, right? And it's totally, it's totally a vibe. I I love it. And I was so honored to be able to speak at that event. The event was manifest your dream year. So we were making vision boards, we were making bingo cards, and I had the opportunity to speak about what manifesting is and how we manifest. And it was just, it was such, it was such an amazing night. One to just be in that room and be surrounded by this collective energy of women who you could, you could just, who I could tell, who I could tell were carrying so many different types of energies, but they were in that room together. We were all in that room together, willing to show up, willing to be present for ourselves, willing to make a change and and go after something. And, you know, it was life-changing. I I changed my own life. Um, other women changed my life. I changed women's lives that Monday night. And I think the reason why it was so powerful was because it was just the universe gave me a sign. The universe gave me a sign that everything I'm thinking and feeling and taking action on right now is right. Like, and the whole, the whole two and a half months or the whole like month and a half leading up to this event and the day of the event itself was just a sign from the universe. And and I know that I felt so powerful about all of this because of the direction we're going. Manifesting and wealth go hand in hand. Manifesting and abundance go hand in hand because that's that's what it really comes down to, you know, manifesting wealth. We use this word wanting more, but it's it's wanting abundance. And we as women, we as mothers get to define wealth for ourselves. We get to redefine wealth. We get to redefine how we talk about it, how we move with it, how we feel about it. And wealth is time, wealth is energy, wealth is community, wealth is support. And that is so much of the abundance that we are trying to manifest, that I am trying to manifest. So, like I said, the last two months, month and a half, January in particular, like they were fucking hard. The holidays felt absolutely wonderful and magical, but hard. The boys had off two full weeks of preschool, you know. They we got the flu for two weeks, a massive snowstorm hit, and they had off another week. Like I still have a W-2 job and my business, and I'm a mom and a wife and a woman to myself. And it felt chaotic. It felt so chaotic, like we had no routine, no stability. And I couldn't seem in that moment to get myself out of like the chaos that I was feeling. I couldn't get myself out of my thoughts. My my head was so in my my own brain that it just felt like January. I wasn't I wasn't the woman that I knew I had to be. It wasn't the woman that I had been aligning with and embodying, right? Like I felt, I felt like I was trying to be fake. And like, not not that I had been fake, but like in some ways, like I was still holding up like this very big mask. And my caveat to that is you do not have to share everything with strangers on the internet. I, I, I, you don't need my permission to do shit, but I give you that permission. You get to choose what you share and what you don't share. And that doesn't mean you're not being authentic. I digress, but it's like I felt like I was still trying to live a narrative that wasn't authentic to me. And it was because I was trying to just be this positive, the sun is shining out my ass person. Like nothing is wrong, everything is sunshine, roses, like la-di-da-di-da. And that's not the reality of life. Like the reality of life is not that everything is perfect, everything that's performance, right? That is performance. And I was going against my own idea, my own belief. And I was like trying to perform. And in some in some realm of, you know, my subconscious brain, I was like, oh, you're speaking on an event in a month and a half. You you have to, you have to, you can't be a normal human being with normal issues and challenges and struggles, right? And that's following the rule book because the rule book says in order to speak on something, in order to have authority on something, in order to be taken seriously, you have to have everything figured out. God forbid you trip up or make a mistake or have to recenter yourself, right? That's that's following the rule book. That's not trusting yourself or the universe, right? And so that's that's what that's what this biggest tension I was feeling. I wasn't trusting myself. I was trying to control everything. I was trying to control everything, myself, my kids, how we were functioning, everything, everything. And I kept saying that I want support. I kept saying that I wanted help. I kept saying I wanted to be safe and held and taken care of, right? That's how I was feeling. But when it actually shows up, do I receive it? Do I receive it? Or do I continue to martyr myself to do everything because that's what I've been conditioned to do. That's what I've allowed myself to do. And so this was where like all of the last month and a half clicked together for me on Monday. On Monday, February 2nd, 2026. This is when it all clicked into place. Um, I was supposed to drive to this event, right? And Monday night, I'm feeling pretty good. My vibes are good. I'm confident in my speech. I know that I'm gonna look hot in my outfit. I feel like the woman who is meant to be on that stage, who is meant to make a difference in people's lives tonight. And then my van breaks down. My van breaks down. The band that I was supposed to drive, me and my friend Lindsay to, it breaks down. And I'm like, what the hell? You know, me and my kids got to get home. Now we got like, oh my gosh. Okay. I'm keeping it together fairly well. I'm I'm shocked with myself, but I am dead set on being a martyr. I am dead set on driving because I told Lindsay I would drive. We have a second vehicle. It would have been packed, we would have been squished for 45 minutes, not everything would have fit. I would have been flustered and like so much, right? But I was dead set on doing it. Even after Lindsay said, Ash, I'll drive. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm doing it. And it is 3:30. I have an hour before we have to leave, an hour before I have to load up the truck fully and shove ourselves in there and go. And I'm not even in the shower yet. And I'm starting to feel, I'm starting to feel the spiral. And I just freeze. And I'm like, okay, okay, Ash. That morning, the angel card that I pulled said, trust the universe. Trust the universe for everything that is happening to you right now. Trust the universe. It gets crazier. My client's devotional for the that morning was trust God. And we had talked about that. And I'm like, you, you God, you universe. Okay. Okay. I'm surrendering control. I am taking help. And the I'm getting goosebumps right now because the calm that went over my body, the calm that my nervous system fell was just like my fucking mind is blown right now. My mind is blown because I was like, oh, Lindsay's going to draft. Okay. Thank you, universe. Maybe, maybe you had this happen today to learn so that I could learn. One, to see the help that the universe gives me on a silver platter. And then two, to learn how to receive it, to learn how to receive what I'm asking for. And you know what? This was only the second time I have hung out with Lindsay in person. Only the second time. And the way that that woman took care of me, she tells me I look gorgeous, you know. She talks to my boys and my husband as I finish getting ready. Um, Scott, my husband, and her, like load up her vehicle for me. And she opens the car door when we get there. She tells me where the seat warmers are. And she looks at me and she's like, take a deep breath. Take a deep breath. And she spent the next 45 minutes just calming me and hyping me up and supporting me and listening to me. And I needed that. I needed that, right? I needed one to get out of my own way. I needed to one get out of my own way and stop living in this fear of, oh, I'm not enough if I don't drive. Oh, I'm not worthy of Lindsay driving to the event. Oh, how is how is someone gonna perceive me if um I have this idea of abundance and my car broke down? How is someone like, get out of your way, Ashley? Get out of your way, lovely lady who is listening. You, me, we, we need the wealth of another woman in our lives. We need, as mothers who nurture people constantly, to allow someone to nurture us at times, to give up that control and allow ourselves to receive what we're asking for. And if I wouldn't, I if I wouldn't have had Lindsay, even if the van wouldn't have broken down and I would have still been able to drive, the universe had that happened just so I wouldn't have had to drive. And that's how powerful our connection is, how powerful our energy is. And so, so here's the identity shift, right? Here's that part of in order to receive what you are asking for, you have to become the woman who can hold it. The woman who knows her dreams are already true, who knows she was meant to be the woman she is becoming. Because if I, Ashley, want to create this community of mothers in wealth, mothers of wealth, a space where we can redefine and create wealth, then I have to be willing to show up like the woman who can hold it. If I want to create wealth for myself, for my family, for my community, then I have to be willing to show up like the woman who can hold it. And guess what? The woman who can hold it isn't a martyr. The woman who can hold it isn't afraid of letting go of control. She isn't living in fear because that's just control. See? See the cycle? Being able to manifest, being able to create abundance, being able to live in wealth, create wealth is leaning on other women, and not in a way because you're not strong, not in a way because you can't do it, but because the universe will send you the people, the situations, the opportunities that match the energy you are living, that match the woman you are embodying and aligning with. I saw myself on my manifestation journey. I mean, going back to August when I told my coach that I would be speaking on stage in 2026. I told her that. I claimed that desire, I claimed that dream and that goal, and I started showing up as the woman who would make that her reality. I started aligning with and embodying and taking taking action towards the woman who would be there. Even in my moments of doubt, even in my moments of questioning, and Monday was this all-encompassing moment where I was like, holy shit, you did it. You became the woman. You are still becoming the woman who is meant to hold all of this, who is meant to hold all of this. Because guess what? Old Ashley wouldn't have accepted help. Old Ashley wouldn't have thought she was enough or worthy, deserving, how she would be perceived. And I finally stopped. I detached from all of that. I detached from all of that. And I received what I was given, which was help. And that, I mean, that is that is what manifesting is. That is how we manifest. We manifest by saying to the universe, saying to God what we desire, what we dream, what our goal is, what our idea is. And we start showing up. We start aligning and embodying and taking action. And so, like that Monday night, Monday, February 2nd, 2026, like that was the moment that I saw the whole the whole shift happen. I saw everything happen. And that is what manifesting is. That is what manifesting is. And that is how manifesting and wealth tie together. Because when we when we are dreaming big, when we have big ideas, when we have big goals, we we can't just do it alone. We can't just do it alone. And if you want to do it alone, that's fine, but I don't want to do it alone. I want to be able to lean on others. I want to be able to trust others. I want to be able to feel seen and understood and held at some extent by others. And I'm very, I am very, very discerning about who I want those people to be. But like that is manifestation. That is manifestation. Manifestation isn't just vision boards or bingo cards or a perfect morning routine and like forcing the outcome of everything. Manifesting is naming all of all of what you are going after, the abundance that you are desiring. And then it's becoming the woman who can receive it, who can hold it, who keeps saying and showing up and going after what she wants, right? And at some point you have to take responsibility, you have to recognize where you have been holding yourself back and say, I'm not gonna do that anymore. If you keep asking for freaking support and when you receive it, you refuse it, you're you're armoring yourself. If you keep asking for different conversations, but you keep supporting the same narrative because you're too afraid to rock the boat or just let something go, you're gonna keep having the same conversations. If you want to build a business or build a community and you keep hiding and you keep isolating yourself because you're staying loyal to an old identity or because you are afraid of how you will be perceived, then you're never gonna make that impact that you want to make. You're never gonna grow that community. And so this is why, this is why the relationship between manifesting and wealth matters so much to me. This is why creating experiences where we can talk about wealth, creating opportunities of wealth, creating mothers in wealth, mothers of wealth, mothers and wealth is something that I feel in my bones because we have been taught for so long we're not enough, we're not worthy, and who the hell are we to want more? And we have been believing that we have been believing that, and we have to stop. Being mothers, being women, doesn't take away our desire, doesn't take away our ability to have big ideas and go after our freaking goals, right? And we've been taught that, and we we we have believed that and we have started to live like that, and we have to stop because if we want abundance, if we want wealth in all of its forms, then we have to stop being afraid to say it out loud. We have to stop being afraid to go after. And we have to be afraid of saying that we don't want to do it alone. And so manifesting, creating abundance, creating wealth is not about you just wishing. It's not about you dreaming harder. It's not about you performing or perfecting or having everything figured out. It is about you being radically, radically feral, like that feral little girl you were before the world, you know, started teaching you how to think and feel and act. It is taking that feral little girl's energy and embodying it and living in that and taking responsibility for the limiting beliefs that you are repeating to yourself and living out and saying, fuck that. I don't need this mindset. I don't need to align with these emotions. I don't need to embody these thoughts and act this way. It is easier said than done. Don't have it all figured out over here, but I'm willing to continue to keep fucking showing up. And that's what matters. I trust myself to show up. I trust the universe that I'm on the right path. And I just refuse to give up. So if you want support, take the support when it shows up. If you want a community, come here. Stop isolating yourself. If you want to be the woman that you know you are meant to be, stop acting like you, she is not enough. Stop acting like you, she is not worthy. And if you're a mother building a business, if you're a woman in our community, if you're ready to stop carrying this all alone and in silence, stay close. Like we are rewriting the rules here. We are rewriting the rules. If you are ready to name your story, if you are ready to get it out of your head so you can start embodying it, sharing it, leading with it, and stop judging yourself from what you've survived, from what you are claiming and going after, download my tell your story fire starter. And if you want to talk about it together or just get clarity on yourself, what you're what you're going after, book a 30-minute vibe check with me. I'll share the link in my show notes. And I would love to collaborate. If you want to collaborate on speaking events, community events, book readings. I am here for it. I want to connect with you. And this is how we create wealth in mothers. This is how we become mothers of wealth. We don't do it alone. We don't prove it by burning out. We claim, we claim our big ideas and our big dreams and our big goals. And we show up. We build the community and the space and the rooms that can hold that truth. And we don't stop. Repeat after me. I am a wealthy woman. I am a present mother. I am a leader. And I don't have to prove myself. I'll see you next week. If this episode resonated with you, share it with another mother who is on a mission, who is building something real. This is how we change the conversation by making sure women like us are seen, heard, and paid. And if you're ready to step into your next level of visibility, leadership, and wealth, make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss what's coming next. You can also connect with me on Instagram, TikTok, my newsletter, where I share daily thoughts and conversations around motherhood, identity, and wealth. I'll leave you with this. You are not behind, you are not too much, and you do not need to choose between your family and your success. You are the woman who gets to have it both. I'll see you in the next episode.