#36 - Stop Waiting, Start Leading: The Art of Turning DM Leads Into Clients (S3)

In this episode, I’m diving into one of the most misunderstood parts of selling online: your DMs. Not as a place to convince or chase, but as a space where real leadership happens. I share the shift from passive “waiting to be chosen” into embodied leadership that actually moves conversations toward decisions. If you’ve been stuck between over-nurturing or avoiding sales altogether, this will completely reframe how you approach selling in a way that feels powerful, clean, and aligned.

Key Takeaways

⚡ Why most DM resistance isn’t about strategy, but about the meaning you’ve attached to selling
⚡ The difference between nurturing, avoiding, and actually leading a sales conversation
⚡ How to move from friendly chats into clear, confident invitations without feeling pushy
⚡ Why content attracts, but leadership in the DMs is what creates real conversions

Relevant Offers from Aimée

✨ Lead in the DMs Workshop
 A powerful workshop designed to help you turn warm conversations into paying clients through embodied leadership, clear sales pathways, and confident communication.
👉 https://pleasureinselling.thrivecart.com/lead-in-the-dms-workshop/

✨ Expand Mastermind
For coaches, healers, and facilitators ready to master leadership in sales, messaging, and premium client attraction at a deeper level.

✨ If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating & review — it helps us reach more bold leaders like you. Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Thank you for being part of the Bold Expansion Movement!

Let’s Connect:
👉 Instagram: @aimeedrost | @millionairebreathwork
🌍 Website & Offers: pleasureinselling.com
👥 FB Group: facebook.com/groups/premiumsales

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

In this episode, I'm bringing a very juicy theme to you that is all about talking in the DMs. And it's all about how to lead someone towards making a buyer decision. Not just by playing the waiting game, but by actually becoming that leader. And I'm very excited to bring this theme to you today because this is something that I've experienced from all the different possibilities. I started my business working with a mentor that showed me how to heavily rely on DM sales, DM strategy, and building the foundation of a business that works with a sales team, with an appointment setter and a sales closer. And I was doing that work in my DMs and it worked. I was that type of bro marketeer with a little bit of a more feminine edge to how I was talking, of course, but I was hustling. I was showing up for four hours a day, talking to strangers and making them see why buying my offer was the best option for them. And it was working. One of my highest months was a 16k month with that specific strategy. But over time, I really developed a new relationship with showing up in the DMs because frankly, I just didn't like it. I didn't want to spend four hours of my day talking in the DMs, quote unquote, convincing people. That was not the vibe at all. I went onto the complete different route of okay, what is that feminine strategy that all these people talk about, that all these women talk about, that I can also implement where my content and my messaging is doing the heavy lifting. And I absolutely love this strategy. But there's something very specific happening in the industry that people are skipping in this strategy. Yes, you can have really magnetic content, and it will really attract the right buyer and repel the wrong ones when you do it the right way. I teach my clients all about this in the magnetic messaging method. But it is also a waiting game. And especially if you're still developing the skill of being incredibly good in content, but also because ChatGPT these days and any other AI tool is making it so easy to have average content that we often need more. We need a personalized touch. And that is also where the DMs come in. Welcome to the Bolt Expansion Podcast. You are here because you know your business is meant for more. I'm your host, M. Dros, and this is where you'll learn how to make more money, create transformational offers, and step into your truth as a leader. Through premium strategy, identity work, and my signature method, Millionaire Breathwork. Each week you'll get the strategy and the shift to expand your wealth, your impact, and your freedom. This is Bowl Expansion. Are you ready? As you can hear, I'm very passionate about this theme, and we're gonna break down a lot more about this DM strategy and how it's showing up for you right now. I cannot wait to dive into this with you. And what I want to start off with is maybe right now you're having some resistance even to the DMs. There's two camps, right? There's the ones that are not showing up in their DMs, and there is the ones that are showing up so much in their DMs that they're having an extra life in it, that they are having a lot of internet besties, that they're having really deep conversations with strangers on the internet because they're nurturing and hoping at some point they will buy. Because if you're being really honest, you are not looking for more internet besties. You're showing up and nurturing for a million years already without closing the seal. That's one part of the camp. Then the other part is those who are avoiding the DMs, who are thinking, okay, my content should do all the heavy lifting and it should make people want to buy because if they're not ready to buy, they're not for me. Really, this waiting game of my clients should be 100% ready or else they're not for me. So you're asking them to lead themselves instead of you being the leader. Now, there's a third category in how I teach sales, and I call this embodied leadership within the sales. So, yes, we have the content strategy, the magnetic messaging, and when it comes to helping someone over the finish line, closing the sale, it really comes down to embodied leadership and how much are you willing to show up as the leader in your business, in these sales conversations. I'm not talking about being pushy, being salesy. I'm talking about being a leader. And this is something where not enough people actually talk about this because when you are in this either passive or friendly or vague energy, and you miss the moment where real leadership can create clarity, connection, and conversion, you're missing out on so many sales. So, this conversation today is really about what can shift in your DMs. A small shift can change everything, and it can change how you sell and how fast you sell. And if you can shift how you sell, you can shift how you lead, how you're perceived, how you make money, how you're available for the work that you say you want. So the first thing I want to break down here is the general thoughts that we're having around DM conversations and how you're probably resisting what you've made that mean, and not so much the DM conversations in itself, because you are here to serve. You're here to serve, which means you're here to sell, which means that you would love to guide a soulmate client into making the best buyer decision for them, right? Because you're here to make an impact. And most people don't hate the DMs, they hate the version of the DMs that they have created for themselves, whether that is being anxious around it, not wanting to show up there, making awkward conversations, saying the wrong thing, hoping someone shows up and asks you about your offer and then bombarding them with so much information that they end up ghosting you, or you're really hanging out there and making it your day job to become friends with strangers, which is also very exhausting. I remember from when I was doing it, because yes, I have been doing this back in the days, I think about five, five, four years ago. And I signed also great clients through it, right? Like some of them are really incredible. Others are those that need a lot more hand holding, right? Because they needed hand holding in how I showed up in the process of them making that decision. In this process, there's a lot of nuances in how you're showing up and selling that make you either sealsy and pushy or not. But mostly what you have been doing so far is probably the reason why you're feeling awkward, manipulative, why it feels transactional, why it feels fake. And if the meaning for you is showing up in the DMs is about bothering people, of course, your body won't really want to go there. You will feel awkward, you will feel resistance showing up. So that is a belief that you hold. Like all these examples that I gave, you probably already know which flavor you're in right now. And it's very important to understand where you're at because that is causing you the certain response that you have right now about showing up or not showing up in the DMs. And this is really a belief issue before it is a strategy issue. So when you start to become more open to shifting this and reframing this and realizing DMs are not silsy or sleazy, it's simply a way to create space for a conversation, to show my leadership, to send an invitation. When you start to reframe this and start to reframe your mindset around it, after that you become ready to actually learn the strategy. Because until that moment that your belief is in the place that you can become someone that leads in the DMs, you will start sabotaging, you will make up excuses, you will not show up. So the first thing that I want to give you is to look at DMs differently. The DM is just a room, it's a space, it's a location where you can have a conversation. And your energy that you bring into that room and the intention behind it determines what will actually happen in that room, in that conversation. A lot of people make the room evil, and instead of looking at how they're entering that room, the energy that they bring into the room. This is why I always say be do have. Who you are being determines what you do, determines what you have. Your identity is key in how you're showing up in sales, in your strategy, in your business, in your life. That is why I love being in business so much, because it really challenges you to become a better version of yourself where you hold certain beliefs and where you show up in a different way, where you become so much more intentional with how you move through this world. So maybe you have the question, how do I sell in the DMs without sounding silsy? Or maybe you have a question about I don't want to bother people, right? Because bothering people is not the same as making a clear permission-based invitation. There's a lot of difference in how you're showing up. Maybe right now you are actually bothering people and it's about being honest about that. Are you being intrusive? Are you saying the wrong thing at the wrong time? I know that you want more sales because you want to serve more people. And yeah, there is this belief I don't want to feel like I'm chasing anyone. But the only reason why you're chasing is because that internal belief and lack of the right strategy. So stepping out of the belief that it always is sales or strategic and going into okay, actually, I'm here to lead. Embody leadership. So many of you listeners right now, you know exactly how to lead when it comes down to delivering an offer, to holding a workshop, to creating an in-person event, to having someone in your offers and actually leading them there as the coach, the mentor, the healer, the facilitator. But when it comes down to sales, you haven't learned how to lead. And that is what this conversation is really about. Chasing and leading are not the same thing. I think you can already hear the difference in the energy, right? And also when you connect it to the moments where you were in true leadership in your delivery, that felt different, right? You're not chasing anyone, you're not walking around a room desperate. You don't have that desperate guy at the bar type of energy. So right now you are not resisting the DMs, you are resisting the story that you've attached to the DMs. That is where the frustration that you might be experiencing coming from. And maybe you don't have any resistance. Maybe you're in a perfect place with your DMs and you're enjoying your time there and you're making actual internet besties, which is great. I'm not saying don't become friends with people. I have many friends that hire me. I have many clients that become close friends, but this is not the goal of why you're hanging out in the DMs, because they should not get more time than your actual life, than your actual friends. This is something I was experiencing when I was doing this strategy, that at the end of the day, I had no capacity to be on WhatsApp anymore. So I started to notice how this strategy was affecting my daily life and how I was showing up for my friendships and my actual relationships in real life. So for me, it wasn't a sustainable strategy, and that's why I had to change things up. So maybe if you are the person that is enjoying these conversations right now and you're having all these friendly conversations, let me tell you, it is not the same thing as bringing leadership. If you're nurturing someone for a million years and then you drop your offer and you're like, this person should be in there because I know their whole life story. They've told me a couple of times, they keep updating me on it. This offer is for them. And yet they don't buy. Or they're thinking about buying and using all the space they can, and you have hours and hours of endless conversations with them about why they should join, and then all of a sudden you notice you are now convincing, which is not the energy. A lot of people are having warm conversations that never actually go anywhere. And they call it nurturing, but often it's just avoidance dressed up as connection. And being warm, kind, relational, that is beautiful. But without clarity or direction, it doesn't really move someone forward to a decision. And that is what leadership is about. Embodied leadership in the sales process is about helping your ideal client move forward towards making a buyer decision, whether that is a yes or a no. We want clarity. Many coaches, healers, facilitators, they really hide behind, I just want to be neutral, I don't want to be pushy, I don't want to be forceful. But natural often means that you're also not really taking a risk. You're not really taking a stance. Leadership in the DMs can really look like asking a direct question, naming what you see, reflecting a need, making a clear invitation, moving from just chatting towards helping them make a decision. Friendly conversations are what open the door. Like, of course, we need some connection, we need a touch point, a reason why we're actually having a conversation. But leadership is what walks someone through it. So someone who could reply to your story three times, loves your content, says, I need this, and you still just hard react and say, Oh, thank you, instead of opening a Sylv's conversation. Because you don't know how to lead that conversation in that direction. And what if a person just comes and they're not ready, right? Maybe you want to give them that time and that space to become ready in the process. But yes, some people will come to you ready. Many people, however, need to be let, prompted, invited, especially when it comes down to the higher price point sales. Because yes, a low-ticket offer, you can compare it to when you're at the supermarket and you're grabbing a candy when you're at the checkout and you're just adding it to it because it's not a big deal. But most people listening here, most coaches, heaters, facilitators, you are here to offer transformational offers, to go deep with them, to have an offer at a higher price point. And those offers, they don't magically sell. They do when you put the right strategy in place and when you know how to lead someone into making such a big, life-changing decision. I know in this industry it's quite common to say, wait until you feel a full body yes. And I want to argue with this because yes, you need to feel that it's your truth and your direction, but a full body yes means that your whole body is on board with this decision, which very often is not the case because you are operating from your current identity. And stepping into that next offer is challenging who you are. It is actually attacking who you are, it's attacking your current identity. And just as much as your friends and family are often responding in ways that keeps you safe and smaller, your body, your nervous system does the same. And by changing who you are, changing your identity, changing who you are being in this lifetime, you become ready slowly. And that is why a lot of the content and the messaging is around belief shifting and why people help you prepare to be at a certain point when they're really good salespeople, so that you can make this decision for yourself. That's why just teaching and overgiving does not work in your content. So this is where the dynamics of content and then the DMs are important, but also you wanted personal touch point, right? You want to have that connection. You want to know who you're speaking to. So leading in the DMs, having a conversation with someone and just giving them an extra nudge is so freaking powerful. This is not about forcing a conversation or following up all the time or stalking cold leads on the internet. There's a nuance here. You don't need to force it, but you need to be willing to lead it and to know which leads you actually do want to fight for. This is where the dynamics come in between masculine and feminine, right? Because the attraction-based marketing is a lot more feminine, and then the leadership, helping someone making a decision, holding the frame, making them move forward, showing the path, directing them somewhere, that's the masculine. Just as in life, we don't just want to either be 100% feminine, 100% masculine if you know these dynamics. You want to bring in both qualities because if you're not being in your masculine, in your business, and only in your feminine, you're not gonna go very far. Like I talk about this more often, but I really believe that we are the parents of our business, which means the masculine and the feminine, the father and the mother. We need to bring in all those qualities. And of course, if you are someone who naturally is more in your feminine, you might want to build in structures within your business that allow you to be more in your feminine. At the same time, if you are more in your masculine, you want to bring in qualities that bring you more in your feminine. And right now, in the sales process, you can see a shift from attracting in content and then someone actually reaching out to you on your DMs, and then you have that conversation there. That is the moment for you to be a bit more firm, to be in leadership energy, to give them a reason to join and to hold that conversation because that is what creates real safety. Now, I know not all listeners are women in my space. I serve men and women, but for women, how safe does it feel when a man steps up and takes the lead? And for you to fully surrender into that. At the end of them making a decision, of course, the woman or the receiver, if we talk about giving, receiving energies, there's still this dynamic of in this moment, I am the leader, I am creating this offer. I want you to fully surrender into it. These are the next steps, these are the options you have. What are you choosing? We're not forcing them to make a decision. We're giving them the options, and the options are insane, they're really good, and there's a real incentive here. So DM resistance is often also a lot about rejection, visibility, and power. So if you notice that you're shying away from showing up in the DMs, most people think they need better wording, or they go back and forth, like, how do I write this? And they spend so much time preparing to send an answer, or they don't, they just don't really know what to say. So they just heart it and ghost, and yeah, they let the conversation die out. My old mentor that showed me all the things of how you can really get someone ready to buy just in the DMs also told me this never let a conversation die. And I really do not agree with this. It is a heavy pressure to carry, and that makes you pushy and salsy. Sometimes the conversation is over, sometimes it's a clear no, sometimes it's a clear not now. And other times, when you know it should be a yes and there's still no clear answer, it's for you to also show up and say certain phrases that make the other person clear on if it's a yes or is it a no. So when you have resistance towards DMs, it's often also emotional and identity based. We covered that a bit. But it can also be from common hidden fears. The fear of being misunderstood, the fear of hearing no, the fear of looking needy, the fear of being that person, fear of wanting money too visibly, and that they would think that it's about the money. Fear of changing how people perceive you. This is why people overpost and under invite. For some people, it feels so much safer to just create a post that goes out into the world, into the big audience or the big void of nothingness. People are not responding to it and landing into your DMs asking about your offers. This is why people create endless content instead of opening the actual conversation. And if that has been you, if but you've been warming up your audience, your community for a very long time now, I have very good news for you. Because it's just this small tweak of actually knowing how to start inviting that will blow up your business. But if you never make that change, you keep in nurturing land for a million more years. And you might be thinking, what if I reach out and they're not interested? Why yeah, then they're not interested. That's okay. That's survivable. Leadership includes being available for no, not just a yes. And especially in the premium space, you can expect quite some no's because not everybody's gonna be ready. So the more powerful you become in holding that no in business, in sales, but also in life, the more magnetic your leadership becomes. Rejection is not evidence that you're doing sales wrong, it's often evidence that you're finally in the arena. If you haven't heard a no in a very long time, you've not been showing up enough. You've probably not been making enough real invitations. And I know some of you are thinking now, oh shit, that is me. Even if you did in the past, something might have happened. Maybe you've reached your upper limit, maybe you've reached your capacity, you've reached your normal income level, and you're like, okay, let me slow down now. Maybe you're also thinking, I don't mind creating content, but once it gets personal and direct, I freeze. Like when they actually have that conversation with me, I don't know what to say. And yeah, this is often about being in your power, leading, leadership. Sure, it's a little bit of strategy like knowing what to say, but it's also about feeling your own power and knowing that you're here with great intentions. And leadership also means being willing to be clear, even when you cannot control the response. Going first, being the one that invites. For many people, the real fear in the DMs is not per se the selling, it is being seen in the selling. The DMs is not where you actually Force a sale, it's really where you guide what is already alive. So if you're already having people watch your content, they're already warmed up, you're pre-selling in your content, there is momentum. Those people end up in your DMs. Like I'm not here gonna teach you cold outreach. That's not my vibe. It works, some people love it. But for me, it's this dance between using your content strategically and using your DMs strategically, bringing intention everywhere, understanding how to move someone from connection into direction, and then inviting them. And that's the whole game of sales. And it gets to be a game, it gets to be playful when you look at it that way. Your DMs do not need to carry the whole business. You should not be living in your inbox. Great DM sales usually happen because of trust, desire, positioning. We're already built before the DM conversation. And it's just about that last little step where you're guiding them through the door. This is not about cold, random pitching. It's about recognizing signs of interest and leading the next step. If someone is already watching, engaging, clicking, replying, asking, lingering, something is already alive. And the DM is where you personalize, clarify, and invite. So content is what warms up the room. It's like the coziness, it's the furniture, it's the reason why you want to hang out there. The DM helps someone find their seat to actually be there, to actually sit there, to actually take that step with you, to stay longer. The content like the invitation to come in. And then the DM is okay, I'm here. I'm committed. I am connected. And you don't always need endless DM conversations for that. But bringing some humanness, bringing some real interaction these days is really important with everything that's shifting with AI. This is why the conversation can feel simple when the groundwork is really strong. Like I've had really simple DM conversations where I almost had to say nothing and just guides. Because that's what true leadership in the DMs does when all the other parts of your premium biopath also click. If you don't want to use scripts, that's amazing because this is not about becoming robotic. It's about becoming responsive, direct, and clear and having a frame and knowing how to lead people. And at the same time, I am someone, I am a mentor of my clients. They get scripts, literally scripts of how they can say things. And of course, you change it to your own tone of voice, but sometimes it's just as simple as learning the vocabulary, learning how to say certain things. This is for sales, but to me, sales and marketing are really about communicating and also communicating relationship dynamics and how you hold yourself in daily life. Like this skill, the DM skill, will help you see these things in a different light because it's all communicating. So especially when you're thinking, I want it to feel like me. That's beautiful. That's the point. It's not about removing who you are as a human, it's about strengthening your leadership and understanding how you, with your personality, with your words, can lead someone towards a buyer decision. The DM is not where you create pressure, it's where you create direction. So when you are a leader in the DMs, you're not becoming more pushy. You're becoming more available for service, for sales, and for self-trust. You do not collapse when conversations become about money. You do not hide behind endless content and hope people connect the dots and reach out to you. You trust yourself to open, to guide, to hold a conversation. You know that you can always ask questions. You can always make invitations, you can hear no without spiraling. You can be warm and direct at the same time, and you understand that clarity can be kind. And sales is not separated from service. So this is where you stop standing on the edge of your business waiting to be chosen, and you step into the role of the chooser too. Who do you want to work with? Who do you want to follow up with? Who do you want to send an invitation? So, yes, it's absolutely possible to make a lot more money, to become better at sales without feeling fake or salesy or sleazy. And that is what happens when you're selling, start matching your values and your power. So the leader who leads in the DMs is not more aggressive. You simply show up more available for leadership. You get to be the leader who is warm without being vague, direct without being pushy, and available for sales without abandoning your integrity. You get to be someone who does not hide behind content or overthink every message or really gets yourself lost in the DM inbox with a dozen new internet besties. You get to be someone who leads. And if that is you, if you're done hiding behind your content, done waiting for people to magically figure out everything on their own and ready to lead how to actually move conversations towards decision in a way that feels powerful and true to you, then I have an invitation for you to join us inside Lead in the DMs workshop. This is a workshop that I'm running this month for the XPN mastermind clients. And in this workshop, I am breaking down the whole strategy around leading in the DMs. And I'm opening a few guest passes so that you can have a taste of this. The whole month in Xpend, we're talking about DMs, we're talking about leadership in sales. This workshop is for coaches, healers, facilitators, visionary leaders ready to turn warm DM conversations into paying clients. With a clear sales path, stronger leadership, and less time wasted in the inbox. This workshop is created for my expand mastermind clients, coaches, healers, facilitators who are selling their offers and wanting a more powerful way to turn warm conversations into sales. Because getting interest in your DMs is not the same as knowing how to lead those conversations towards the right next step. So if your inbox is full of I'm interested, this sounds amazing, or I've been meaning to ask you about this, but too few conversations become actual clients, or you just don't have enough DM conversations to go off at all, and you want to know how to start them without chasing cold strangers, cold leads, this workshop will help you create a cleaner, more confident DM sales process. And this workshop is really for you if you're already getting the interest in the DMs, but not enough of those conversations are turning in actual sales. You often know someone could be a fit, but you're not always sure how to lead the conversation without overexplaining or sounding pushy. You've had warm conversations that felt promising, but they get stalled or ghosted or never move into a clear invitation. You want to sell new DMs in a way that feels natural, confident, and direct without cold DMing or living in your inbox. You want a repeatable process for moving people from interest to invitation instead of winging every conversation. After this workshop, you will walk away with a clear DM sales path so that you know how to move warm conversations towards the next step without overthinking every message, stronger leadership in the DMs so that you can stop waiting, hinting, or overnurturing and start guiding the conversation with more clarity, a better sense of when to connect, direct and invite, including when a DM application or sales call is the right next step, more conversions from the conversations you're already having without needing more leads, more cold outreach, or more hours in your inbox. A simple shift in your messaging and call to action so that more qualified people enter your DMs ready for real conversations, and a more profitable approach to DM selling, one that supports premium offers, cleaner sales, and a faster movement from interest to clients. If you join us before April 9th, you can join for 44 euros. After that, we increase it with 88. And you can join until April 14th, which is the day of the live workshop. But the replay has a replay only price of 333. So if you want to join now, if you're in my world, if you're paying attention, this is the moment to lean in. You will receive the full workshop replay with your registration. So even if you cannot attend live, you can still implement the process in your own time. If you're done having warm conversations that go nowhere and you're ready to turn your DMs into a stronger sales channel, this is your invitation. DM me the word lead on Instagram or use the link that I've put in the show notes below and come and join us. Thanks for tuning in into another bolt expansion podcast episode. If this episode inspired you, then hit subscribe so you won't miss any of the upcoming episodes. Write a quick review and share it with one friend who really needs to hear this. And if you really felt a big shift, then share it on your Instagram stories and tag me with at MDrost. I would love to celebrate with you about your breakthroughs and it helps me reach more people with my work. See you next week for another bolt expansion episode.