What God Wants Me to Focus on RIGHT NOW

We had our second baby! Listen to the season God wants me to focus on right now and why it's important to rest so that we can show up and do our best.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Alright, what is up, y'all? Welcome to the Entrepreneur's Wife podcast. I'm your host, Carly Rains. If you are new here, this is a podcast where we talk about finding purpose as the helper to our small business owner in this feminist obsessed world. We take biblical values of what it means to be a godly woman, particularly looking at Proverbs 31 and just great women of the Bible, like Esther, uh Mary, um Ruth, just gosh, so many examples in the Bible. And we really break it down practically on how we, as entrepreneurs, wives, stay-at-home moms, women of God, um, how we can actually apply what we're learning through scripture and what we're seeing in these stories to our daily life in a world that is so centered on themselves and just selfishness, um, in a world that hates God's design for marriage and really hates God's design for the gender roles. And so we take all of that and talk about a bunch of different topics, particularly business, because this is the entrepreneur's wife, so a lot of this is gonna gear towards your husband's business, home life, things like that. Um, I'm back. It has been gosh a few weeks since I've uploaded an episode. And if you are new here and wondering, you know, what the heck went on, um, we had a baby. My husband and I had our second daughter, our second child, and she came a week early. Praise the Lord, I will say, guys. Um, I was kind of hitting that miserable point in the pregnancy where I was just so ready to get her out and not be pregnant anymore. And if you've been a mom, if you've gone through pregnancy before, you understand those last four weeks are the hardest because you're uncomfortable, you don't sleep well. It's just I it it was a time where I did not want to rush, you know, having another child because I wanted to enjoy the time with our one child, our one daughter, and I wanted to enjoy time with my husband, but at the same time, I was ready for it to be over and ready for her to be here, so I didn't have to be pregnant anymore, and it was just a very conflicting time. Um, definitely taught me a lot of patience and long suffering, and just to really rely on the Lord. I I my sleep, y'all, was terrible. Um, it doesn't help that having narcolepsy on top of that, but it was just we're here now, she was born, and in today's episode, I'm really gonna talk about what God has been just showing me the importance of rest, um, uh even in a season where there's a lot going on, and this is one of those seasons, and it's funny because as we get into it, you're gonna realize that when you own a business, it never really slows down. It's so funny. My grandpa, it was Easter this past weekend, and my grandpa they came to meet the baby and spend time with us, and they own a small business, and then we own a small business, and it was Thursday, and y'all know Good Friday. Most people, depending on your job, have off. And so my grandpa was like, you know, is Briston gonna have Good Friday off, take Good Friday off. And I kind of looked at my grandpa and said, Pappy, I call him Pappy. I was like, Pappy, you own a small business. Do you ever have time off? And he kind of laughed and said, You know, you got a point. And yes, you know, Briston, we do take time off, but if you have ever owned a business, you really understand. And my mentor um in college really shared this with me because she had owned a small business, you really don't have time off because so much weight is on you as a small business, you don't have a ton of employees, a ton of people to depend on. Um, you might only have a handful if that, and so whenever something happens or an emergency, or somebody emails, or you get a call, like it just you never really get time off, if you will, where you can totally leave and not think about your small business. Um so we're gonna kind of get into the story of having our baby. Um, and our at the same time, my husband was hosting a race that same weekend of having the baby, and what God has been showing me after having our second daughter, and how I really need to lean into that, and I just hope that it's encouraging and helpful for you in your day-to-day life to understand the importance of rest. So we went into the doctor at 38 weeks on a Wednesday night. I started having contractions. This was the second time that I actually started having contractions, and the first time we went in, they gave me medicine to stall it because my doctor was not on call. It was again like one o'clock in the morning. So I understand that that doctor on call didn't want to make the decision. He wanted my doctor to make the decision, and the medicine that they gave me was supposed to work for 48 hours, and then the contractions were supposed to start again. Well, it like stalled the contractions completely. I stopped having contractions, and so we went like four or five days just waiting for my contractions to start. And Wednesday they finally started back, and they got so bad that I went into the hospital. I hadn't dilated yet, and but you could clearly see on the graph that they were progressing and it was happening. Um, and so they gave me the same medicine and they gave me IVs, and my mom, y'all, she was hilarious. She's a nurse and has she worked with babies back in the day. She was so like, why did they give you that medicine? You know, we just were all ready for Carson to be born. So, um, usually around 37 weeks, you're considered full term, so at any point the baby can come and you could give birth, and it's not really gonna affect their development. The last thing that develops is actually their lungs, and so sometimes they give women a shot to help progress their lung development, but usually around 38 weeks, you're pretty good to go with their development, and we were at the 38-week mark, and so my mom just couldn't understand why are they giving you this medicine? Um, they it's time, like they need to uh give you a c-section, and so my doctor does not do a V back if you don't know what that is. Basically, with my first daughter, I had a C-section, and then a V back is where you actually birth naturally your second time around. Some doctors do it, some doctors don't. It you do have a risk, I will say, uh, just a tidbit your uterus can erupt, there can be things that can happen just because of the scarring of your C-section, and so my doctor does not do a V back, and I was thankful for that because to be honest, y'all, with our first daughter, I labored for 24 hours, um, which honestly isn't that long of a time to labor. There's women who've gone 36 and 48, like gone long hours laboring, and I think just having narcolepsy on top of it, you're not able to eat much. Um, I was exhausted. I mean, I was like, can y'all just cut me open and like we just get this done because I can't do this anymore. And um, so uh Briley, our first daughter, she ended up having she pooped in the womb. So when my water finally broke, it was brown. Um, and that was kind of a red flag because it can cause infection in me, it can cause infection in her, and they started realizing that when I started running fever, and that was at the point where my doctor was like, Hey, for your health, for your daughter's health, we have got to do a C-section, and I was totally cool with it. Um, they went in, did the C-section, and I had actually lost like a lot more blood than expected because the placenta, it just fell apart, and they had to scrape my uterus to make sure that they got all of the placenta out. And so then I came back from the c-section super pale. They didn't know if they were gonna have to do like a transfusion to give me blood. Thankfully, they didn't. It was an experience, y'all. Um, and so my recovery from that c-section was a lot harder than this recovery, I will say. And I might do a whole episode on the comparison of why I feel this recovery has been so different and so much better than the first one. And um, but that's for a different time. So that was with Briley. So I already knew going in with Karsten, our second daughter, that I was gonna have a C-section. And guys, I don't know why, but genetically, we I just make big babies. Like it's my mom made big babies. We just make big babies. So Brile was born at 39 weeks, 10 pounds, three ounces. She didn't even go full term and she was a 10-pound baby. Okay, her umbilical cord, my doctor said, was so big, she had not seen an umbilical cord that big before. So she was getting some good nutrients. Um, our second daughter, when we did the you do a 36-week uh sonogram where they make sure and check your fluid and a bunch of different stuff in the baby, she was at six pounds already, six six six. And uh Briley at 36 weeks was was 7'3, okay, or 7.5, I think, is what it was. So Carson was already a pound behind Briley, so I was like, okay, she's probably gonna be, you know, nine pounds, whatever. Um, and my doctor scheduled 39-week C-section, just like we did Briley, because she knew, hey, you're you're you have big babies, so we need to take that into consideration. Well, at 38 weeks on a Wednesday night, so I was having contractions, they gave me the medicine, and the nurse, thank God, thank god, the medicine was supposed to kind of slow down and stall my contractions. Well, it didn't, it it made them longer apart, but if you looked on the graph, they were actually getting it's like mountain ranges. Um, if you've never had a baby before, your contractions are measured by when you have a contraction, it kind of goes up and it makes a mountain and then it goes down. And the longer the contraction is, the wider the mountain will be. And my contractions were being further apart, but they were being higher. So the graph, the mountain was going higher and higher each time. So they the medicine really wasn't working, and I was so thankful that the medicine wasn't working because I was just ready. Um, and so the nurse said, Hey, you have two options if you feel good enough, you can go home, or um, you can wait, and I had to wait like because we went in, guys, at midnight, so I had to wait until 6 a.m. shift change. She said, You can wait until your doctor is like reporting to work, basically, and on call to make the decision. And I said, Well, I'm waiting for my doctor because last time I went home, I you know, we're we're back here, and I don't want to have to keep going back and forth. So I was hoping my doctor would say yes to us having the baby. So six o'clock came, the nurse switched, they changed nurses, and finally by 7:30, I had heard from my doctor that she was coming in and was gonna see me. Probably eight o'clock, she got to the hospital and came in, and I was so thankful for her because she saw the contractions and she said, Hey, like, we I want to deliver you, and I was like, Yeah, I want you to deliver me. Yeah, let's do this. So we scheduled a c-section that morning, and guys, I was so nervous about the c-section. If you've never had a c-section before, you're awake, they numb you, but you're awake and they're cutting you open, and you're feeling them tug and pull and all this pressure and all this different stuff. It doesn't hurt, but you're feeling it, and it is just a very vulnerable state to be in. Knowing my stomach is cut open, they're pulling this baby out. Like, it's just I was so nervous after my first C-section to have this next C-section. It was, I guys, I literally was like praying to the Lord because I had so much anxiety about it. I just, it wasn't that my first C-section was bad, I just never had a C-section before. And yeah, I had looked up videos, you know, preparing myself. I think it's good to prepare yourself just in case it happens, but that still did not do the experience justice of what it's actually like sitting there having your body cut open, and especially when they had to scrape my uterus, and my recovery was just oh it hurt. It was a lot different than this recovery. So we go into the C-section. I uh thankfully that you know when they gave me the spinal tap, that wasn't too bad. Um, I I told the anesthesiologist, I said, honestly, my contractions hurt worse than you sticking this needle in my back. Like it, it was okay, it wasn't that bad. Um, they did the c-section, sweet Karsten, her name's Karsten Riley Rains. Uh, she came out and she came out at a whopping 9-3, guys, nine pounds, three ounces. And she was born a week earlier than Briley. So, had we have gone the 39 weeks, I'm sure she would have been a 10-pound baby again. Um, but she came out super healthy. Briley, because of the you know, pooping in the womb, she had to go to the NICU, 10-pound baby in the NICU, guys. Very unheard of. Usually you got those tiny babies in the NICU. Nah, mine was the 10-pound baby in the NICU. She had to be on antibiotics. She was in the NICU for four days. Karsten was completely healthy, and I was completely healthy, and so the experience was totally different. You know, we went back to the room, and she got to go back to the room with us and like be with us. Um, I'm able to breastfeed, like actually have her latch, um, which is so cool. She latches so well. Briley, she was in the NICU for four days, so we were supplementing formula, and I was bringing pumping breast milk and bringing it to them, but I just did not have that immediate connection with breastfeeding like I have with Karsten. Um, it's very different. Their personalities, guys, are totally different. It's just if you have kids, you understand this, especially if you have kids of the same gender. They're just totally different, and it's just cool to see how different Karsten is compared to Briley. Um, and Briston jokes. He's like, you know, Carsten is all me. Um, she is a cuddle bug, she just loves being held. Briley is Miss Independent, and she is so much like Briston, and she just wants to do her own thing, and she it's just so funny, you know, their hair color is different. Briley's got kind of blonde hair, Carsten has super dark hair. I mean, their skin tone is different. It's just it was it's just been really cool to see their the difference. Um, but again, we Briston had scheduled a race that weekend, um, because it was like March, the very end of March, March 28th or something like that. And technically, Carson wasn't supposed to be born until April 1st. That was our scheduled C-section. And so Briston, um, she was born a week early, and so he had to make a decision of like, do I still work and put on this race? Um, or do I stay at the hospital? And I could tell he was very conflicted because you promised these customers a race experience, a good race experience, but at the same time, your wife just had another baby, and you want to spend time um with them and you want to be there for them. And I could tell he was very conflicted, and thankfully, I had help. I had my mom, my dad, I had my grandparents, um, Briston's parents came for a day. So, so there was help while he went out, and he slept at the hospital. Um, he actually brought an air mattress. So, tip for you, you know, if you're having a baby in the hospital, you get your get your husband an air mattress, okay? Uh those chairs and those couches are not comfortable, and we learned that the first time. So he actually brought an air mattress to sleep on, and he slept, and then during the day he would go, course mark, set up, and on Saturday, excuse me, on Saturday he hosted the race. Um and the biggest thing that I will say out of this whole experience is just God has really been showing me as an entrepreneur's wife and as a mom to really take those roles in and not see them as less than. I think in this feminist, we talk about you know being against the feminist movement. It's so tempting to to look at culture and to see from culture and to see from our world that being a mom and being a wife is a lesser role than having a career or doing something super ambitious. It is poured down our throats, preached to us, and ingrained in our ears and ingrained in our brains that the way that you actually level up and and stay at the same level as men is working. And it's just a sad, deceptive lie. Um, this these past couple of weeks, I have really felt the presence of the Lord push me to rest, push me to focus on my kids, focus on my health of recovery, and focus on being a wife, and letting those things be good enough, letting those things not you know define me as less than. And I want to encourage you that any role that God puts you in, whether it's like this role or even in a working role, uh this is gonna sound cliche, but but there's purpose in that role. And I think about the story of Joseph, you know, guys, Joseph had this big dream. I mean, like, he had actually two dreams, and he believed and and really just saw this vision that God gave him for his life, and then you read the story where he's sold into slavery and he's put in jail, and those were less than roles than the dream that he had he had of ruling over his brothers, and he could have easily sat there and let those roles completely discourage him, cause him to go into unbelief, cause him to doubt God's promises, cause him to be in a really bad depression state and just not feel worthy and not know his identity. He could have easily allowed those roles to define him in a negative way. And yet he used, and I wanna I don't want to say the word use those roles, but he he used them um to the best of his ability. I mean, like he I think Joseph really had a positive outlook on every season of his life, and I I think Joseph had so much faith in God that yes, he had his low moments, and yes, he had his moments of doubt, but I I truly believe overall, he really believed that God was gonna fulfill what he had promised him in the beginning, and like that only makes sense because it happens and he has complete faith and submission and obedience to the Lord throughout his roles, and I'm sure it was frustrating. I'm sure, you know, it's not easy humbling yourself to a role that the society and the world looks at as less than, but you know, something that I love about the gospel and something that I love about God's kingdom is that it is the less than roles that get the highest praise. And so, you know, thinking about being a wife and being a mom to these two kids and like letting that be my focus, I'm like God sees so much beauty in those two roles. That the world will probably never see. And our rewards are not going to come from the applause of the world. And that is something that I have had to battle. Of I'm not looking at the world for approval and I'm not looking at the world for applause. I'm looking at the Lord and I'm making sure that whatever He's called me to focus on in the season of life that I'm in, I want to do that wholeheartedly with gratitude, with joy, to the best of my ability. Because if I don't, guys, I'm never going to be content. Like I'm never, I'm never going to fully obtain the image of Christ and be like Christ if I do not humble myself and pick up my cross and follow the Lord. Like that is the gospel. And so these past couple of weeks, I've really been reminiscing on hey, slow down. Like, slow down. Like the hustle and the grind and being ambitious and achieving all of these things, that's great. And there's a time for that. And there are seasons for that. But for right now, you just had a baby. Like you just got cut open. You need to take time to rest. And you need to take time to really soak in these moments because it won't be like this for long. I mean, there's a song that sings that. It's not going to be like this for long. Um, and I and I really need to enjoy those seasons. And, you know, the other day I was breastfeeding, and if you've ever breastfed, it it your baby falls asleep and you gotta wake them up. And then they fall asleep and then you gotta wake them up. It's it's a, you know, it would be easy just to give them a bottle. At least in my situation, if I just give her a bottle, she usually stays awake. But when she gets on, you know, when she's breastfeeding, she tends to fall asleep, and it's just it takes longer, it takes twice as long to breastfeed than it does to give her a bottle. But the other day I was sitting there and I was just telling myself, Carly, like your first daughter is almost two, and you remember, I'm gonna start crying, but you remember just yesterday when she was a little baby, and you came home from the hospital with her, and now she's about to be two years old. And don't think that time is gonna slow down in this next season. It's not. I mean, Carson is already over a week old, and it's just crazy, and it's gonna go by so fast, and you're gonna wake up and you're gonna be 40 years old, and you're gonna realize, oh my gosh, like, where did time go? And there's this author, I'm actually reading her book right now called The Story Peddler. Um, Lindsay Franklin is her name. She is focused on writing right now. She speaks and she has podcasts and she writes books, and she's an editor for a publishing company that I really just admire. Um, but she's an empty nester. And in one of her podcast episodes, she talks about how her life looks totally different now than it did when she had her kids at home. When her kids were at home, she was focused on homeschooling, and yes, she did some writing, but the majority of her time was focused on her kids. And now that her kids are in college and adults and moved out of the house, guess what? She gets to use all of that time that she used for homeschooling now for her writing. And it was just a very powerful thing to hear because it's like, Carly, that that's you. Like right now, you're 27 years old, but tomorrow you're gonna be 37. Like it's gonna go by so fast, and your kids are gonna grow up so quick. And so, why would you not embrace it and take it in and try to enjoy every moment? Like, that is what God has called you to do, He's called you to rest. And it's so funny, y'all. I will end with this, but Briston and I struggle with resting. So if you want to pray for us, pray that we really do rest in the Lord. Um, but the other day, Briston laughed and he said there was this miscommunication with one of our uh merch vendors who is now doing our merch for Texas Outlaw. And Briston said, Yeah, it made me realize the importance of rest and not sending emails when you're sleep deprived. Because he had worked all day to prepare for the race, and then at like 10 o'clock at night, while we're sitting in the hospital, he's trying to email this merch guy who does our merch, and the email did not make sense, and so a couple days later, he's rereading the email and he's like, Oh my gosh, he's like, This is terrible. And he said, you know, it really showed him like why rest is important because if we don't rest, we can't do our best. Like, I know that that's cliche because it rhymes, but it's just true. If you don't rest, you cannot do your best, and it we have things coming up. I, you know, this summer I'm doing photography for a writing conference, and then they hired me for projects after that, and then I paused for my doctorate, but in the fall, maybe in summer too, I'm gonna start that back up. Um, there's things in Texas Outlaw that we're working on, and it's like Carly, this is this is a moment where you can just chill and rest. I sent my book to a publisher, and I still have two months to hear back from the publisher, um, because you got to give them three to four months, they said. And so I want to hear back from them, but at the same time, I feel like God is saying, No, this season that you're in, I I want you to rest and I I want you to take it all in. And it's hard. The other day I sat in the chair and I read the book that I'm reading, and it I miss just getting to read for fun. Um, and it made me realize like how much I miss that. And I don't have to always be doing something, like it, yes, it's good to obey the Lord and to do what he's called you to do, but again, Ecclesiastes 3 is so clear there's a time and a matter for every season under heaven, there's a there's a season for it, and this season that God has placed me in, he's called me to be a wife and he's called me to be a mom, and I need to embrace that and I need to love every moment of it because you know I I hate to bring up the whole Charlie Kirk thing, but that just put into perspective for me that like your husband can be there one day and he could be gone tomorrow. And Briston, we went and ate at this restaurant and he had to go to the bathroom, so he left the booth to go to the bathroom, and y'all watching him walk away, I just realized like, oh my gosh, like you're never gonna get this time back. Like, there's gonna be a day, no, God forbid it's not soon, but there's gonna be a day where you know, unless Jesus comes back, uh one of us is gonna die. Like one of us is gonna die before the other one, unless we die at the same time, but typically one dies before the other one. And um, you know, I was just thinking that you know, I'm so thankful for the life that God has blessed us with, and it hasn't been an easy life, guys. It's it's if you've listened to these episodes, you've heard the sacrifice and you've heard the surrender and you've heard the submission, and you've heard how we've had to steward all of these things that God has asked us to do. So it hasn't been easy, but it it has been so worth it. God has been so faithful and his provision has been so good, and you know, I want to take it in. I want to take it all in. I want to take in being married to a great man, and he's not a perfect man, and he's grown so much um within these past few years, and I love it, and but I I can confidently say, guys, that he is a good Briston is I am so thankful to marry him because there was a time where I almost married someone else, and I and we don't have time to get into that. This is gonna be a little cliffhanger for you, but yes, there was a time before Briston where I considered getting engaged to someone else, and I look at Briston and I look at the life that God has has given us, and I am so thankful every day I wake up. I'm so thankful that he's the man that I married. Like, I'm so thankful I walked away from that previous relationship. Um I it was just oh yeah. So I I want to encourage you uh with this story to really have a heart of gratitude. Um just this season that I'm in, I I will say there are things that I want to do. Like there's like I want to write, and there there's things that I I wish was happening that aren't happening right now. But I have to trust God's timing. Like I I have to trust that He truly knows best, He truly knows like when it's the right time, He truly knows when my character and when who I am is gonna be ready for it and when it's not and right now He is asking me to humble myself and to set aside my career ambitions and and really focus on being a mom and being a wife. And I need to enjoy those moments, and I and I I need to embrace them with full heart and full love and full capacity because they're in a blink of an eye, you know, we're gonna be 50 years old and it's gonna go by so fast. Ecclesiastes says it's a vapor in the wind. So I just want to encourage you to take every day, um, don't rush it. Rest in God, uh, have joy in every season. And yeah, just just just love God, love people, and enjoy the seasons of life that you're in because they're gonna go by so quick. I love you guys. I hope this was encouraging, and I will see y'all on the next episode.