Ep017 - Fertility and Adoption in Motherhood. Catholic Mentor Speaks.

Ep17 - Fertility and Adoption in Motherhood. Catholic Mentor Speaks.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everyone. Welcome to the podcast again. Tonight I have a very special guest, Natalie Blackford, right? She is a sweet friend that I have on tonight. I am very excited to see what God wants to share through her story. She is a mother. She homeschooled here in Florida as well. She has a beautiful Catholic family. And well, Natalie, tell us a little bit about yourself. What can you share? Um, I would love to um know what life is like now. You're two now. Beautiful children.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Yeah, yeah, thank you. It's it's such an honor to be on on the show, on the podcast show. And uh I know we've talked quite a bit. Uh it's been a bit about being on, and so it's it's such a pleasure. Thank you for having me on. So, yeah, I'm um a mom of two. I'm a military wife. My husband's in the Air Force. We are here in Florida, and um, so I I am a homeschool mom. Uh, I homeschool my oldest daughter, she's fourth grade, and then we have uh a second one, and he's a boy. We actually adopted him last year, and he's almost a year, so there is almost a 10-year uh age gap between between the both. And uh just got certified as a Catholic mindset coach with Metnoy Catholic. So I saw that. Yeah, so really excited to serve in in this new way. Um, it's gonna be like a ministry for sure for me, like a part-time kind of thing from home as as the Lord brings people. And then I am very involved with my church group, uh with the Catholic church group nearby. And yeah, yeah, it's a little bit about me.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

Wonderful. How did you get to um what made you give you that calling to get certified as a as a mindset coach, Catholic mindset coach?

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Yeah, that's a really good question.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

You could kind of explain to us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Yeah, that's a great question. So um, so there was I would say there was like two reasons. So I so the first one was um when I was postpartum, so I got pregnant with my first daughter very quickly. Um, and then you know, we went through like eight years of infertility and then we discerned adoption. But I got pregnant with Gianna, our first daughter, very quickly. And during that postpartum time, there was a big transition from being a full-time working um to like then I decided to stay home uh with Gianna. And um anyway, and then um, but during that time, I had Gianna during that postpartum period. I I was struggling like with finding my identity as a mom and just like just some negative like identity things, um the images that I had on myself, wanting to find a new routine as a mom. What does that look like? Like, what is my identity as a mom? Anyway, I went to the priest and I was just like, I'm struggling, and he's like, I don't know who to refer you to. Um, and so I kind of just to be honest, just struggled a little bit. I went a lot to adoration. I feel like the Lord got me through that for sure. Like, God gave me just help me out. But I really just needed someone to talk to um that just could like, what's a good routine? Let's set some goals, um, talking through some of the uh identity things. And so that's exactly what a a mindset Catholic mindset coach does. And so this is like so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

I'm sorry, yeah, yeah, but just for mothers that you're um working on right now. Yeah, so postpartum, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Right. So then fast forward, you know, 10 years and this opportunity came. So I um so the reason I got passionate is because I started helping a uh with with leading a mom's group and started seeing moms just really struggling, postpartum moms struggling with their identity, um, especially first-time moms, and just very overwhelmed at times. And I thought, wow, I know I could pray for them, but I wish there was a greater way. And this opportunity with Metanoy Catholic came up. I have um done coaching with them like five years ago, I did or three years ago, I did uh some coaching with them, and I loved it, it really helped me. And so, anyways, when this opportunity came up, uh I listened to their podcast actually about how much um getting certified as a Catholic mindset coach can help in your ministry. And so that's how I kind of hopefully that makes sense. That's how the dots connect with like I would love to help our mom group more, um, just more than like the prayer support that I can like help walk them through, and then just my own journey of looking back and be like, I wish I had someone like that that I could talk to. And um, and obviously the Lord's been doing work because as you go through this, you have to do all that you're gonna like. I have to do all the protocols on myself before I can do it on others, if that makes sense, before I can take someone. So God's definitely been working on me with like my infertility journey, healing some parts. So there's definitely this has been an eight-month journey. I just got certified this month, so it's been it's been a journey um with you know just the past six, you know, since October.

SPEAKER_00 6:00

That's beautiful. That's beautiful, Natalie. Though I really admire you for taking that um step to become a coach because I think that is so needed right now in our church in the faith. Um it's beautiful because you're right. There's there's always a need for mothers to in postpartum to have these faith resources, knowing that they're called to this mission as mothers, that they can do this, that this is just the season, that they're gonna get through it, that they're the most valuable person in their home in the moment that they have a child, that this child, you're everything to them, yes, right. Um and it is probably very lonely for some mothers. Maybe they don't feel like they have that support, and that's a great way to support them.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yes, yeah, absolutely, and um also trying to support those with infertility, so just things that have already gone through. I feel like those two demographics I'm very passionate um in supporting, but yeah, yeah, and yeah, yeah, it's great.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

I have yeah, well, I love that you mentioned infertility because we know that right now there are also many mothers struggling with not I'm sorry, not mothers, women struggling with infertility. Um I've per personally have met of friends that when we used to live in Miami and uh now even uh that have done so so many uh you know, you'll know the women that go to Lady of the Legend, or uh they're on a journey of infertility trying to discover why they're not getting pregnant or going through pain of the loss and of maybe struggling with God in that sense. And sometimes I do like wish I had the wisdom to share words. I mean, I can give a hug, I can pray for them, but there's not really like something that I have knowledge wisdom that I can share with them in the sense of like I wish I could do more. What more can I say? So I don't know if you have any words that you could share with us since you've been on that journey. How can we can you share a little more into that journey with God?

SPEAKER_01 8:26

And yeah, yeah, so um just clarify like how it's been for me or how like how we can help others going through infertility.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Maybe a little bit of both, like how has it been for you? And if you know of a friend or a mother, uh I mean a woman that's going through that, how can we be more supportive?

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Yeah, yeah, so I feel like a lot of us going through infertility, I know it can feel very lonely because there's not a lot of support within the Catholic Church, is what a lot of us find. Um, and so it there can be, I think in in in the church perspective in the Catholic Church perspective, sometimes it can feel a little bit of a loneliness of like there's very rarely do you find like an infertility support group and things like that. There's like podcasts and like nationwide, but I feel like that's something to be aware that that a lot of um those struggling might feel lonely with just within the church of not feeling there's like a support group, so there's that. Um I I also think from my experience being Catholic, I feel like the Catholic Church does such a beautiful job, and you know, we're very involved in the pro-life movement, we love children, big families, and I love that. And I feel like a lot of of couples are most of the time excited, open to life, you know. We get that marriage preparation, you know. So I feel like just being Catholic, you know, you see that. But um, I know for me, my husband and I always talked about having four children. I was one of three. So you go into marriage, like I'm so excited to have our four children. Never ever did I think I'd go through infertility. Uh, it was never on my mind. Never did Phil think, you know, we're very both very healthy individuals, very active, eat healthy. I just I guess I never foresaw it. And so when we had our daughter very quickly, I thought, okay, yeah, like the plan's going as planned, you know. And then when we had that seven-year, eight year, then I thought, okay, and started working with the NFP teacher for a while. Um, and yeah, I just I think after that third year, it's like, this is really hard. I think the first two year hopeful, and it's like, okay, we're trying different things. Um, I would say, yeah, like as you start going deeper into it, the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, it's it's very it stretches you. It does. And I think there are um like honestly, like for me, there was a lot of identity things that started arising. Like, God, why why would you not think, do you think I wouldn't have been a good enough mom for the second time? Like, what did I do wrong? So you know, these lies really start creeping in because that's not thoughts. But I I feel like, and I I know a lot of friends struggling. We these are things we talk about. It's very much um this identity, this spiritual warfare against your identity, um, for those of us going through infertility. I it's something I've experienced, I've talked to a lot of other people. So I feel like um that really stretched me. Um, really just like okay, and and so, you know, but I feel like God, you know, if it wasn't for infertility and looking back, you know, and it's still something we still want kids, it's still something we're struggling now, you know. But I I do look back and think, Lord, you have been so close to us. Like every month you encounter, right? We're not pregnant, we're not pregnant. So, but we have held the Lord so close to us, and He's been so faithful in the midst of it. But I feel like the pain of wanting to expand your family um is just so present because it's like a good desire we have. It's a good desire my husband and I have to expand. And when that doesn't come, it's really hard. You know, it's it's yeah, it's it's very hard. So um, but yeah, this is uh, you know, definitely taken into care. Again, I feel like if I had someone, you know, the mental health part I feel like is really important. I wish I perhaps sooner could have gone to like a coach or a counselor, uh, because I feel like there was a lot. I I think I would say maybe a little pride because I'm like, I'm fine, I'm good, I got this with God. But I do look back and think, wow, there's I'm having to do a lot of healing now because I just, you know, you just try to like think that everything's good. And and you know, but I I feel like just having someone to talk and uh would have been really helpful. Um, but now I think with with the skills that I know, I'm I'm very more discerning God's voice versus the enemy's voice. But yeah, so um, yeah, those have been kind of just being real, those have been my struggles with it. Um, I have on a you know a positive note, I feel like um, you know, this is something I've brought to God. I have not been shy with the Lord to be like, God, what's the purpose of our infertility? What are you doing here? And so I have felt the Lord just speak to me like I'm I want to bring good out of this, and so this is where I um very much was very active on social media um for years, good three years, I openly shared about my journey. There were so many people that um felt supported. Actually, a lot of people through hearing about Napro and and those resources, they got pregnant, and so it was like we can do a parentheses really quick.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

Yeah. So Napro for anyone who doesn't know what it is, can you explain that a little bit? Um, because there could be maybe someone that is going through into infertility, and maybe there's things they they do want to consider trying that are aligned with the Catholic Church.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Yeah, so Napro, these are yeah, good question. Um, these are doctors that specialize in finding the root cause of your infertility. A lot of Napros are Catholic, so they are in line with the Catholic Church. Um, I saw Dr. Christina Pena actually out of Miami, and we did telehealth, and so she could do telehealth with anyone, and so she really, really ended up finding you.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Oh, is that how it is? Like an interview with her once, right?

SPEAKER_01 15:19

I don't know. Um yeah, I I actually found her on Instagram, but um she appeared in in an infertility summit that I did. Um, but I don't think I've interviewed her. That would be great. Maybe she's yeah, great doctor, there's Napros all over, and they really find the root cause. Um, and yeah, I mean, I think you know, we focused so much on me for three, four years, and I'm like, but you know, a majority of the reason why we can't get pregnant um is uh, you know, we we found some more stuff on Phil's side. And so, but we didn't look into Phil, my husband's side, until like four years later. And I think, wow, like it takes two, you know, it's it's it's really important to um, you know, look into both. And so that's something I look back and wish perhaps we could have looked into more, but um, yeah, but thankful for for doctors like them and Springs of the Desert is a um podcast and infertility support group that is Catholic and have found tremendous support, they do support groups, so they have been so helpful. And I feel like honestly, in this journey, I have realized that you know, um, you are a family as soon as you get married. Your family doesn't start when you have children. I've learned that, like, wow, okay, it's beautiful. As soon as husband and wife get married in the covenant within the church, like they're a family already. Yes, and yeah, and like bearing fruit looks different. So bearing fruit, obviously being open to children, but there's so many, if you're already open and you know, can't conceive, there are it's like Lord, how how are you calling him to bear fruit? Like while we await for children, or if that's can't like how are you, how are you gonna work? And that was a question Phil and I always brought to the Lord, and I I just like went all for it. I'm like, I can't just sit around in the house and cry, you know. I've really got to break out of this and like have hope and trust that God's gonna work for good. And and I I do, I see even, you know, you you have pain, but I I didn't allow myself to stay there. Um, it's okay to grieve, but the it's like I gave myself a few minutes, whatever amount of time each month, but I went forth and like, God, what do you have? You have a special plan, launch me off, like let's go. And this is where I started. Like mom's group, I had so much time to give to the church and others. Um, and you know, yeah, and eventually, you know, we discerned adoption, and that has been where did that journey start?

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Like, I know there must have been like this has been a whole journey, right? Because there's a gap in between your second son and your daughter, and you said that's 10 years, right? Is that 10 years? 10 years, so it's been like quite a journey to you get to your son that now you adopted, and so how how did it get there? Like, what a gift! That's like I lately adoption has been something like I've been like just admiring the the gods work, yeah. Um because um also I know I have a friend uh my a friend with in our my daughter's ballet class that we saw that she does foster work how she has a foster family. Oh just this week we saw her receive a little baby and I was like, oh my god, and you know, uh and she knows she shared that she doesn't know how long she's gonna have her, but like and there was another one she had that she was her adopted daughter, I was like, this is just such a beautiful calling. Like I don't know, I was just so like touched by the Lord by just what looking at her. So if you could share a little bit of this beautiful calling that God has now given you guys, yeah, yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

So it is a calling. We did start with something called safe families, and it's something that you can help care for mothers who usually are homeless for just a little bit of time while they get a job, and um, you don't get paid for anything, but it is I believe it's a nonprofit, but they have safe families all over. So we started there because we're like, are we feeling called to foster or adopt? And um, and uh so that helped us out because we found out after a bit that it was really hard to let go when you go through infertility and you have to say bye to the children. That's what it was very hard. Yeah, it was hard. It was like, I don't know if we could keep doing this. It's really hard for us, especially with wanting a child forever, like you're forever, you know, like having a forever home, you know. So, but it was really good because we were able to discern very quickly, okay, we don't feel like we're really called to foster beautiful calling, but for our family, it just, you know. So then um at that point, that was in Illinois because we're being military, we were stationed there, and then we got Phil got a job offered here, still Air Force, and such an answer prayer because my family lives here. So we moved here three years ago, and I have to say I was not open to adoption, not until like two years ago, I believe. But I was like, I want to try everything we can do to have our own children. I don't, it was like this block for sure. It was very scary. Um, my family, there was no one in my family that had adopted. It was kind of looked down upon like they're gonna bring problems, you don't know who you're gonna adopt. What if the m there was just like so much fear? And I had some friends that adopted, um, but but there was a lot of fear going into it. So, Phil, this was like, uh, let's see, we adopted Sebastian 20. So this was two years ago, and Phil was deployed. And I said, Phil, while you're deployed, I'm just gonna pray about adoption again. And this whole time my husband was open to adoption, he was praying for me. And Phil deploys in March of 2024. And um, we did a St. Joseph novena. Well, come May. Well, I'm apologize. So he left March. Yep. So um we did the novena. I'm just looking back here. But within that time frame, um, it was like it this was during Lent. And I remember attending a mass at our church, and they have a school. Um, and there was a bunch of children. This was like a weekday mass, and seeing all the children, and it's just like the Lord, um, I just felt like the Lord spoke actually. And this was right before receiving the Eucharist. I'm seeing all these children. I just feel like, and it's on my mind, I'm discerning it. And I just felt like the Lord's like, what would it look like if you adopted a child? And I just I just started having tears, and I was like, oh, oh, okay. And like, what would it look like for our family? And I just started imagining like, what would it look like for a family to adopt? And you know, there was like that beautiful side of like, I'm seeing all these children here, wow, that'd be beautiful, but then there's fears. Anyways, two months later, I'm like set. I've like, just like feel we're called to adopt, like it was this major shift, and like, yeah, like we're called to adopt. I I would love, like, what's the next step? And God just connected us to the right people. Um, we found uh an agency, South Florida called Hearts of Adoption, and uh great agency to work with. And uh Phil got back in October. And look at this, God is so in the details, and I still get like tears looking back, but we started in October with our paperwork. So we just discerned through Phil's deployment, he got back October 1st. We started the adoption paperwork. Um, the day after um October 13th. Oh, it's a Merry and Feast Day. Which one is it? October 13th is a Mary and Feast Day. But anyway, after that rosary, the next day, we're like, let's start. So October 14th, we start. We get the call first, and then we become active on the website February. And then so it's like a beautiful thing because when you start the paperwork, you are like an expectant parent, you know, it's like you even though you don't get pregnant, but it's like you are on the way on the way, yeah. And like you are, you're like, you know, an expectant mother. And so um, we got the call for Sebastian June, which is like nine months later. So he was conceived in October. Um, his due date was July, but he was born early, so he was born in June. But it's beautiful to see like how we started, and there was like nine months, you know. And so it's really beautiful just that. Um, from when we started to that was like nine months. Um, and it was just like the journey of waiting, um, you know, and just during this time having to like heal and like just, you know, I definitely before we started the paperwork, I definitely had a lot of my fears addressed. So I'm much more at peace with it.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

But you mean you got your fears addressed? What helped you address those adoption fears? Because I think yeah, many uh mothers or women that you hear will be like, I think I would love to adopt. But then, like you said, there's like this sense of fear, right? What could calm those fears if you do an adoption?

SPEAKER_01 25:44

I I think one of those was just like, you know, what if the child's sick? Or I I don't I had like random fears because I'm very much because you don't know their exact background, right? Yeah. And I'm like, well, yeah, what would the kid have been exposed to? Are they gonna be healthy? You know, I had different types of fears, I think, than Phil. Um, but Phil was really at peace the whole time. But I think that, and then like, how would the relationship be with the birth mom? What I actually did is I I did have two friends that I talked to that had adopted, and I talked it out with them, and and they were just like, Natalie, like, don't even worry about that, just trust. And then the other one just saying, like, her positive experience. So I think just yeah, just knowing like it's out of my control, and I just called to trust. Um, and you know, obviously in your control is like you get to choose if if you feel called to a special um case or not. So you get to choose, and so you get, you know, there are a lot of choices that you can choose. Um, and I I did talk a lot with a um one of the uh birth mom birth mom counselors that work with the birth mom. So they're like in the middle between the social workers, and I did openly say, hey, like which like this is where I'm at. What do you see? And so yeah, she shared a lot.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

So the social worker helps you discern how things are how it looks on the other end of the right, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

You you get a social worker, um, especially when there's a birth mom attached um to you. So we actually had the first uh call we got. Uh it's called an interrupted adoption, but the mom chose her baby. So we had a social worker from the first one. It was uh baby was gonna be due like in May. And so this baby we have now is the second call, but we had that social worker from the first and got to ask a lot of questions. And um, yeah, yeah, and it was it was beautiful. Um, but yeah, and just kind of jerty. It was a lot of trust. Um, it was very, very hard when that first one didn't go through. But I mean, just how like my yeah, just how my friend said like there was a reason, you know. It was like, you know, Sebastian, who's with us now, like the one was the one. Yeah, he was the one and just fits so perfectly. Um I remember, like, well, I was gonna say, you know, during this waiting time, uh, I don't know if you've had this, um, Ivana, when God gives you like an image, if you ever get like images of the Lord, if like have you ever had moments where you're like more drawn to the sacred heart or more drawn to divine mercy um or the image of the good shepherd? Uh do you have okay?

SPEAKER_00 28:47

Um there's like that with the divine mercy.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Oh, divine, like really, like, yeah, okay. Um, that's good. I'm not the only one. But I there's seasons where I'm like very attached, like a specific image of our Lord. And um this is like during this adoption, it was like the sacred heart of Jesus. And I would like pull it up on my phone when I would just start worrying about something, or just like really hard to wait. I'd like to pull up the image of sacred heart and instantly have peace. Like the fear would go away. And we had an we have an image of the sacred heart, and I put we um started setting up for the baby. So I put the little um dresser, um, and I put the image of the sacred heart on the dresser, and I would just look at it, it was like where we were were gonna change his diaper, like that type. So I put it there, and it just gave me comfort. Like, we don't have a baby yet, but sacred heart image is there, and there's like a comfort. Well, you know, fast forward, and it's so beautiful because you know, our baby boy was born on the month of the sacred heart. Um, he he was born uh on the feast of Corpus Christi, and I have to tell you, they actually scheduled a baby shower for the first one on the day he was born, and they had a cancel because that didn't go through, right? And we hadn't gotten the call for him until four days later, three or four days. So it's a very sad time, like that Sunday when I was supposed to have this baby shower and it was canceled. I remember like how quiet it was. We went to church and it was just like it was, I I think I was crying. Like I'm trying to remember. It's so joyful now that, but I'm I'm pretty sure I was I was just in, I know it was a really sad time, but it's like God knew, like He was born on that day, and we wouldn't have known until like three days later. Um, and then yeah, just the image of the sacred heart has been so powerful, like in this baby, in our baby boy's uh journey. And even though, you know, it was kind of um, I guess like a rough start for him, but God like redeems, and he still has like it gives me tears thinking like that it's not our own children that God has this beautiful plan. It's not only our own, like God cares about every child and um and and how he has redeemed, like brought redemption with Sebastian's, and still his story is beautiful with you know the sacred heart in there, and he was baptized on this in the sacred heart church. It was not intentional.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Um, but it's where the godparents were. We were on vacation and like was on the sacred heart, you know, and like my parents, our family met him on the feast of the sacred heart. So it's just that image, the Lord has been with him, you know, and he has just a beautiful start, you know, even though it was a little bit rough, you know, but like just like God cares, you know, about his story and too. And we have a beautiful relationship with his birth mom, and she um, you know, she's messaged me.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

I've never met her in person, but she has messaged me like um you know, like there's there's an ability to connect still with the mother of the baby, yeah, depending on the agency. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

And and it if the and if uh every if both sides agree to it, I'm guessing, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Yeah, um, some agencies do require that you are open, yeah, no matter what, that you'll always be open. Uh, this agency gives you freedom to like however involved you want to be. Um, but I know some agency you do sign, like you have to do visits every year, but this one's like open. All you had to do is like share pictures for the first year, and that was it. And and whether you video call them or that's up to you both. But yeah, so we shared pictures, we're connected via a website. Um yeah, and so I've heard from her beautiful via the website, and she told the um the counselor, her um, the social worker, like, God bless them. I'm so thankful he's in a safe, happy place. And I it just it's beautiful to know like she chose us. Um this second time it was something called a stork drop. So we got the call. It's when a mom chooses is unsure and she chooses adoption right after she gives birth, and then they call the people that she chose right there, and you have to show up as soon as possible. And so that is what we did. It was called stork drop. Yeah, and so in Florida, they have two days to decide if they want to adopt. Um, after they give birth, they have two days. Um, and after the second day, they can't go back and be like, Oh, I changed my mind. It's kind of set, not kind of, but it is set after the second day. If they choose, then it's set. Um, and after the two days, she felt like she, you know, just didn't have the resources to care, unfortunately, and wanted him in a safe place. And, you know, I just forever am thankful for her. Um, she's so strong, and um, yeah, this is the first time I've like talked about this. I get tears, but I'm like wanting to cry with you.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

Oh, yeah, thank you so much for sharing because I know it's not easy to share this information. Oh, yeah. Um I really hope that the Lord, when if anyone listens in, like can like you know, use this for his glory. Yeah, amen. And I know that they're I I don't know, I don't know what it's like to be in that situation, but sometimes it's like I'm like, wow. I think it's like I think adoption is such a beautiful thing, like there's so many children right now in the world who think that they'll have a family or a safe home. And I'm like, wow, like it's what a gift to give a soul, you know. Yes, you're doing the same thing, you're doing the same thing, you're doing God's holy work, you're raising them to go to heaven, you know, like that soul is God's child, right? His mother's you know, nurture, love, needing you to exactly teach him about the Lord and the kingdom with you know so I just think it's all a part of his plan.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

Yeah, and I think to know like that we were adopted, I started like looking up scripture and sharing with my daughter, and I'm like, why am I you know, I I feel like it was so foreign to adopt, but I like as you start reading scripture, it's like God adopted us, we were adopted, and you know, Joseph adopted Jesus, so it's like this is in scripture, and it's like, okay, this is not so foreign. Like, we were each adopted, like Lord help me be open to this, and it is, it's yeah, Ivana, it's like just beautiful how, especially when you have such a strong community supporting you, um, just anything's possible when we have good family, good support, and everyone just came on in, and it's like all the things I was worried about. Like, what's what's he gonna drink? Like, what kind of formula?

SPEAKER_00 36:45

I always breast I breastfed with my daughter, like what formula there's so many good organic formulas that you know coming out, and we had someone clinical and all that.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

I got a message, and she's like, she's like from our homeschool co-op, and she's like, Natalie, there's a girl in our group, her sister overproduces and she doesn't know what to do with it. She doesn't want to do the NICU because there's so much paperwork, she just wants to give it to someone in need for their baby, and so I messaged her, and she I mean, this also like another tears of joy, but she has supplied Sebastian's milk for the most part for one year. Like it's amazing, yes, yes. There's been some times where it's been just formula, but it's like some moms that are gifted.

SPEAKER_00 37:35

It's a blessing, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

And I'm like, Lord, like I man, that was something that was so hard for me to let go. Like, I can't breastfee, he can't, but I feel like God knows your desires, and I think when we surrender them, and it's like God, I like I was okay with formula, I'm not against it, but it's like, yeah, God knows your desires, He knows those little details. I'm like, God, this means so much to me. Like, thank you, and being open and sharing with our friends and family. The word goes around, and so I I did um ask a few moms too if you have any extra, we would gladly accept it. So yeah, God God provides, and and I love what I think that's where you see the details, right? Like gossip details. People are like, I'm not using these boy clothes, here you go. And um, people in our mom's group letting us borrow like stuff, baby stuff, you know. Um, and it just everyone came in and it was just yeah, it's so beautiful. Even like the fundraising, too. I was really fearful because it's a lot. I that's something that keeps a lot of families, I would say, from adopting. But I would say, like, you know, if anyone feels called, like, don't be afraid, uh, because it really is. I it's so interesting saying it now. God will provide, but I I do have a testimony, and I believe when we do our part and our work, like, yeah, he provided and very, very expensive, but God did provide and and brought generous givers for sure. Um, so it's been it's so good.

SPEAKER_00 39:07

Honestly, to God.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Yeah, I'm like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:10

So I have a friend uh actually, um, in my when we used to live in Miami, like one of my husband's best friend's wife, she was adopted. I had no idea. Like one day we were just okay, she was like, Yeah, I was adopted. I was like, What? And she's like, Yeah, and she's like, Me and my sister, and I was like, really? And she's like, Yeah, and I was like, But I love my mom, that's my mom. She's like, I love my mom. That's that's you know, like, yeah, and I was like, Wow, like like I saw her how she walks in faith, they're married by the church. She's like saying that this adoration group in Miami and like the way you live out your faith, the work that your mother and your father did, like it's uh I I I was like, wow, like it really touched me. So it's like you really can impact you know, you have so much you have a whole mission ahead of you.

SPEAKER_01 40:06

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like they it's like they do, they become your child, you know, and I know how important that is to like speak that, um, even over him, or even in general with their own children, but I know especially with adopted children to say you are our child, not like you kind of are our child, but like you are our child, and I'm already like saying it now to them, and like Sebastian, you are our child, and we love you just as much as Gianna. You are so loved, you're so capable. God has such a plan. We're so honored to be your parents and just like speaking that life. That's beautiful, yeah, and not not anticipating any trauma before, you know, before it it's shown. And so it's just kind of like it's a lot of surrender, yeah, for sure. And just yeah, it's it's beautiful. Second time around, and as you probably know, it's like the first time is over. This is the hardest to be a mom, you know. It's just like I don't know what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

It's always second time is always new, like there's always so much to learn, right? Every child is its own world, so yes, and boys are a whole other world, like something completely different than girls.

SPEAKER_01 41:27

Like, I know you're you're you're yeah, make you run around a lot more. I know. I'm sweating most of the time. I'm like, oh wow, you know, he he doesn't need as much like eye to eye, you know, as my daughter did the connection and the talking, but oh yeah, like he they are love mommy, they do love bombs.

SPEAKER_00 41:49

Yeah, that's true. My boys like they love doing stuff with their dad, but they're also like come scratch my back, my my older son, and it's it's very sweet.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

A boy will always like look out for their mom. Yeah, I see my daughter already like to her dad, loves dad, wants the attention of dad. Like if she wants anything personal, but it's beautiful to see that daughter, and you know, they they need that dad's like approval, and like they love I love my dad too, but it's a reverse, like just like the the yeah, with the boy and mom. I my husband loves his mom, my dad loves his mom, and it's like, oh, I love that. Like, you know, it's just I'm excited to see that bond, and it's an honor. I just be praying for your journey, Natalie. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 42:37

I hope that you inspire many other women with your story. Yes. Um, all right, Natalie. So, all right, where can we find you if we need some Catholic mindset coaching? Yeah. And uh is there anything else you know that you know that you would like to share if a mom's struggling with infertility or considering adopting?

SPEAKER_01 43:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:04

What what would you like to if there's any other little thing that you would like to add on?

SPEAKER_01 43:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:09

Where can we find it?

unknown 43:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

Yeah, great questions. I would say if anyone is struggling with infertility, uh, I feel the biggest thing that I could say is just finding that support group and and just just knowing that like you're not alone and being able to find like how I said, like, the springs of desert of the desert has been such a blessing. They are on podcasts and on Instagram. I know the owner really well, and and it's just been it was just like so good and and very inspiring, encouraging to see other people uh being fruitful in other ways. Um, and and I would say also, you know, with now, now I know this, but with um infertility, always like if there is even like a little chance. that you guys can be pregnant. Like I know for Phil and I they said, you know, there's a very small chance, but it's possible. But I would say like don't ever give up hope, you know, and like um it there's a lot of like spiritual warfare, you know, and so just I don't there's yeah a lot of prayer but then it's like just being um aware of what you're speaking you know over it. If it is it being aware of like what am I thinking about my fertility and my husband's fertility. Does it align with what God is saying? And it's something I'm currently working on trying to like Lord I believe like you can restore Phil's fertility. I believe that we can all things are possible with you.

SPEAKER_00 44:43

Miracles are possible.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

Oh yeah and so really speaking life into it um and then um something I've been also doing um is just renouncing because I think we sh I struggle a lot with like being open and speaking life but then over like thinking like are we going to get pregnant? Like now I'm back um because we want to welcome another child again you know and and maybe next year anytime really and so I'm always open to conceiving naturally but it's something that now being really open to it like um I had actually a Catholic coach say you know like renouncing the spirit of obsession so if I start like am I pregnant this month what if I don't get like again um hold on Natalie my daughter just walked in yes yeah no worries I don't know it my my husband probably got distracted and she slipped in aww no I understand um sorry for the interruption once again Natalie so you were saying yes yeah so just you know anytime those thoughts of just you know questions of the future if we're ever gonna get pregnant if that's ever gonna happen again or because it could be just I mean the fertility journey can be up till 45 right so I think it's just easy for those thoughts um uh to to come in so yeah renouncing the spirit of obsession I would say has been super powerful for me recently because I just heard about this um from from a Catholic coach and and Metanoid Catholic in my community um yeah so I I share that as far as where people can find me um I'm on Instagram Natalie underscore M as in Mary underscore blessly um and so are you taking coaching now or yeah I am how can they um how does the process work yeah with coaching clients yeah um uh yeah so I'm I'm I am taking new clients so they could reach me via Instagram or email um those are like the two best ways to get in touch with with me like just sending me a message via Instagram or email and I am taking clients anyone struggling with infertility that needs someone to talk to or if you're an overwhelmed mom with littles or postpartum I would love to chat um the discovery calls are free so just to see if we're a good fit it's free so happy to chat with you and just see if if we're a good fit and see how I can help you.

SPEAKER_00 47:37

That's awesome Natalie thank you that's so kind of you to offer that free consultation all right well thank you so much everyone I was so happy to have on Natalie and her story and I hope that it blesses anyone who listened in. We'll see you guys next time thank you yes thank you it's a pleasure thank you Natalie yes absolutely