The Laughter Clinic
The Laughter Clinic Podcast brings a refreshingly different approach to mental health education. Your host Mark McConville, is an Australian professional Comedian of 25+ years who also has a Masters Degree In Suicidology from Griffith University. Mark delivers you evidence-based self-care strategies, curated research insights, and meaningful conversations that inspire, educate and entertain.
The Laughter Clinic
Life Skills Masterclass Part 1: Self-Awareness, Coping with Stress, and Problem Solving
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In Part 1 of this 4-Part Life Skills Masterclass Series we talk about the foundation trio: Self-Awareness, Coping with Stress, and Problem Solving. Mark McConville and Jodi Allen share lived experience, research-backed tools, and a five-step framework to move from reactivity to calm, clear action.
In this episode:
• Defining self-awareness and reading body signals
• Autopilot, avoidance, and micro check-ins
• Good stress vs chronic stress and burnout risk
• The bell curve of stress — eustress to overwhelm
• Breathwork, journaling, and nature grounding as fast resets
• Mentors and coaches for objective support
• Five-step problem solving loop with review
• Workplace conflict example using the foundation trio
• Self-compassion and building decision confidence
Based on the World Health Organization's Life Skills framework, this series is designed to give you practical, evidence-based tools for navigating life — the stuff they never taught us in school.
Next episode: The Thinking Trio — Critical Thinking, Creative Thinking, and Decision Making.
If you've enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends, leave a comment, like, subscribe, all of that sort of stuff
For More Info on Jodi Allen:
https://www.jodiallennutrition.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodi-allen-944a76138/
https://www.youtube.com/@jodiallenyoga
Insta: @jodiallennutrition
Website: www.thelaughterclinic.com.au
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thelaughterclinicAus
"If you or someone you know needs support, please contact one of these Australian mental health services. In an emergency, always call 000."
Lifeline Australia
Phone: 13 11 14 (24/7)
Web: lifeline.org.au
Suicide Call Back Service
Phone: 1300 659 467 (24/7)
Web: suicidecallbackservice.org.au
Beyond Blue
Phone: 1300 22 4636 (24/7)
Web: beyondblue.org.au
Kids Helpline (for people aged 5-25)
Phone: 1800 55 1800 (24/7)
Web: kidshelpline.com.au
MensLine Australia
Phone: 1300 78 99 78 (24/7)
Web: mensline.org.au
SANE Australia (complex mental health issues)
Phone: 1800 18 7263
Web: sane.org
QLife (LGBTIQ+ support)
Phone: 1800 184 527
Web: qlife.org.au
Open Arms (Veterans & Families Counselling)
Phone: 1800 011 046 (24/7)
Web: openarms.gov.au
1800RESPECT (sexual assault, domestic violence)
Phone: 1800 737 732 (24/7)
Web: 1800respect.org.au
Headspace (youth mental health, ages 12-25)
Phone: 1800 650 890
Web: headspace.org.au
13YARN (Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander crisis support)
Phone: 13 92 76 (13YARN) (24/7)
Web: 13yarn.org.au
Music by Hayden Smith
https://www.haydensmith.com
Welcome & Four-Part Masterclass Roadmap
SPEAKER_00Welcome to the Laughter Clinic Podcast with comedian and suicideologist Mark McCombill, bringing you practical, evidence-based self-care strategies, the latest research in mental health, along with conversations that inspire, educate, and entertain. This is the Laughter Clinic Podcast with your host, Mark McCumpfill.
SPEAKER_01Welcome back to the Laughter Clinic podcast and my co-host for the next four episodes, Jodie Allen. How are you going?
SPEAKER_04I'm good. Happy to be here.
SPEAKER_01Here we go. Here we go. First episode of this The Lifestyle. The Lifestyle. Off to a good start. Off to a good start. Lifestyles, Lifestyle Skills Masterclass. Yeah. The Life Skills Masterclass, my friends, is where we're going over the next four episodes. So pretty exciting stuff, Jody, what we're going to be covering.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So uh so to our dear listeners, tuning in over the next four weeks, what you will get is we are getting the ten life skills as put forward by the World Health Organization. We're adding a couple to it. So when we've broken up each episode into three life skills that really belong together and have kind of built the series in a way that it's a natural progression. So this week, week one, we're setting the foundation. So we're talking about the life skills of self-awareness, coping with stress, and problem solving. Great place to start for everyone. And then next week we're going to be talking about thinking and decision making. So we're going to be covering critical thinking, creative thinking, and decision making, which flows into our third episode, which will be week three. We're going to be covering effective communication, interpersonal relationships, why they're important, and empathy. And then the last episode, we're going to round it all out, bring everything together, and talk about managing your emotions, mindfulness, and lifestyle medicine, which is really your jam.
SPEAKER_03It's my jam.
SPEAKER_01You know, so but there's a lot of this stuff throughout the uh throughout throughout the next four weeks, which is your jam. So very excited. It's going to be cool. It's going to be cool. It is going to be fun. So why do you why do you think it's important that we added mindfulness and lifestyle medicine to the existing ones for the World Health Organization?
SPEAKER_04Oh, good question. Foundational pillars to physical and mental health.
SPEAKER_01Early intervention, preventative.
SPEAKER_04Preventative. And they all they don't work in isolation. They all positively impact each other when we're practicing these things.
Defining Self-Awareness In Real Life
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So yeah, it's going to be great. Now, uh, so the yip the first episode this week, we're talking about self-awareness when you're stressed, you know, what causes that sort of stuff, stress management and and how to problem solve is where we're going with today's uh today's episode. So self-awareness. You know, like I think self-awareness comes with age. You know, you do get a little bit more self-aware when you're older, don't you think? And self-opinionated. Well, there is that. Isn't that another life skill? We're not too sure. Self-opinionated. So uh so the definition that I have here for self-awareness is the ability to observe yourself objectively, to notice your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and patterns without judgment. And why this is the foundation for all other life skills, because if you don't understand yourself and your emotions, your triggers, what what ticks you off, sort of thing, it it inhibits your ability to manage stress as you as you go through life, and and that's why we put sort of self-awareness and coping with stress together. And uh and how can you solve problems if you're you know so caught up in everything that's going on in your own brain? And and also it makes it pretty hard to communicate effectively when you're wound up in yourself, doesn't it? Yeah, absolutely. Do you think self-awareness becomes harder, you know, the the more stressed you get?
SPEAKER_04Oh, I think so, definitely, because we're often in that emotive reactive state where we can be on autopilot or reacting in a way that might not be in our best interest or the best with the people around us at that time. Yeah, we can miss we can miss things, you know, miss what's happening in our surroundings, in our environment, or or miss our own behaviour of how it might be affecting other people as well, not recognising it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you don't like you don't have too much self-awareness when you're drunk, do you? You know, and it's not until the next day that your friends come over and go, Do you realise that you were dancing on that table? You know, like your self-awareness out the window.
Reading The Room And Everyday Autopilot
SPEAKER_04Yeah, our prefrontal cortex has uh gone offline.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_04You know, and uh and I think But you were amazing at the time, remember?
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, well, that's right. I gotta I gotta tell you, as a comedian, you've got to have a lot of self-awareness because you know, when you're on stage, or you know, when you when you're facilitating and you've got a group of people in front of you, anyone that finds themselves standing in front of people, whether it be teaching, educating, entertaining, or whatever, you know, like your self-awareness is off the charts, isn't it?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, because you've got to be able to read the room. As in like for you with comedy, did that is this hitting the mark? You know, you're picking up on everyone's energy in the room and how they're responding to you. So that brings your own self-awareness of, hey, this is really this this is great, they're loving this, or oh, feeling a bit flat. And I do the same in facilitating groups, is what is the energy in the in the room right now? And what am I talking about? Have I brought the vibe down, or do I need to lift bring the vibe up? It's all about the vibe. It's all about the vibe, man. I love the vibe.
SPEAKER_03I live for the vibe.
SPEAKER_04Is it up? Is it down? Is it sideways? But yeah, that's where self-awareness is super important because if you are tapped into it, you can adapt and shift and respond and improve the experience in the moment that you're having.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Well, and and even, you know, like on a practical kind of thinking about like a say picture of a truck driver, you know, or saying you're driving on a long road trip, you know, and you want to get to your destination, you're thinking, oh, I'm gonna definitely get there by four o'clock this afternoon or whatever. But at some point during that journey, you're gonna have this, you really have to have the self-awareness that I need to pull over. You know, yeah, it's a safety thing. That is, it's a safety thing, you know what I mean? Like I'm and to me that's that's like an everyday example of self-awareness.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, so true. Oh, how many, you know, how many times have you gotten into a car and I've done it, and you go, Oh, hang on, I'm not going this way. I'm supposed to be going to the shops, but you're on autopilot. You know, how many accidents are closer to home because you're you've gone on to autopilot. So yeah, and I think that's where mindfulness comes into it as well as mindfulness and is is awareness as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, these, yeah, these are all like I said, all of the life skills kind of interact with each other beautifully, you know, and we're going to be talking about mindfulness and emotion stuff later on. From a mental health perspective, you know, self-awareness research shows that people with higher levels of self-awareness are better regulating their emotions, which kind of makes sense. And and studies show that self-aware people have better relationships, higher job satisfaction, better mental health, and more effective leadership roles. You know, and I think leadership, having being a self-aware leader would be pretty important.
Research Links: Awareness, Relationships, Leadership
SPEAKER_04Oh, for sure. I think of the leaders that have impacted me in the past, yeah, definitely the favorite ones I've had of being aware of themselves and also wanting to be aware and have knowledge and interest in their staff, employees.
SPEAKER_01It's interesting that on the list here it's like self people with great self-awareness have better relationships. And I'm thinking, well, what is that is that because you're you're a you you are aware when you're giving your partner the shits or something?
SPEAKER_04You know, like you know when to leave.
SPEAKER_01You gotta know when to leave, you know, you gotta know when to hold them and fold them. Higher job satisfaction, I can see that because you know, like most people, I've had jobs where I've been desperately unhappy, you know. Yeah. And I remember thinking back to one of those jobs where I thought I and and I look back at it now, and I think as you know, someone in their 50s, that I was um I was in my twenties when I was experiencing this situation, that it was self-awareness that I was experiencing back then because I had this inner feeling that you know this isn't what my life is meant to be.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, like I know that I'm destined for something and fucking selling garage doors ain't it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Isn't that interesting? That's self-awareness, right? Yeah, because I think the two pivotal points in my life of when, you know, I decided to join the Air Force and uh go to back to uni, uh yeah, they were big big points in time and yeah, made a big impact. Interesting.
SPEAKER_01Like that inner reflection, really.
SPEAKER_04It was I'm not happy, I have this yeah, inner I'm not happy right now. What am I I need to do something about it? That awareness of things aren't things aren't going right right now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Talk to us about being on autopilot.
SPEAKER_04Well, the brain wants to conserve energy, right? So it that's that's what it's there to do, is it's looking for ways to you know can conserve energy and almost find the easiest path, the path of least resistance.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, we've all done that. Yeah, absolutely.
Avoidance, Conflict, And Micro Check-Ins
SPEAKER_04So when we're on autopilot, is often, you know, we could be distracted externally, we could be internally distracted, you know, we've got the busy racing mind, there's we're worrying about things. So we're not in the present moment, we're not aware of what is going on in our mind and our body at the time. We're just like we were talking about stress before, just go, go, go, go, go. We can often just slip into autopilot. And if it's something that we've been doing, you know, for a long period of time, it's like avoidance. It's um, it's a much easier thing to do than to actually sometimes sit in the discomfort of being aware right now of what's going on with myself right now. And that can be unc an uncomfortable place to sit, can't it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. If things aren't absolutely yeah, if things aren't kosher, if things are not going great, yeah, you know, and like you were saying about the path of it's avoiding the bad stuff, yeah, because we just want everyone wants to live a peaceful life, right?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and your brain wants that too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So yeah, it it was uh very interesting when I was first started studying counselling, is when I realized that I was like avoidant. I was an avoidant type personality type person that I didn't want to have uncomfortable conversations. I didn't want to. Nobody does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody wants to have a lot of people.
SPEAKER_01You know, like it's not like you reckon there's people that get up in the morning, they go, I wonder how many uncomfortable conversations I can get into today.
SPEAKER_04Yes, because I've met them.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01They're out there. They're out there. You know who, you know who she is. You know who you are. Well, look, I'm one for avoiding them. I I you know, like I grew up in an environment where, you know, like bullying was quite rife in in my childhood in the 70s and stuff, and and and so I avoid conflict like the plane. Yeah. You know, like I really it really makes me feel uncomfortable putting myself in a situation that I know is gonna be confrontational. I totally get it. And I realize that sometimes you you can't avoid well, you can avoid it for as long as you can, but there's it's gonna happen, isn't it?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and I think um I've learned the longer that I avoid something, often the worse the scenario gets in my head. And and when you when you start to recognize it and have that self-awareness, and you know, I'm frequently checking in on myself now. Oh, why is that coming up? Why am I feeling like that? Oh, my heart rates, you know, I'm noticing that in my physical body, I'm reacting, oh, I've I'm reacting to this. You know, what's brought that about? And now if I nip things in the bud and I've had to have mentoring to really help me with this, the earlier I have that awareness and nip things in the bud and and take action where I can, the more peaceful my life is. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, and and you become really proud of yourself as well, like super proud.
Body Signals, Rumination, And Journaling
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can, I can, I can relate to. Well, I can say I was gonna re say that I can relate to that, but as someone who avoids difficult conversations, maybe I can't relate to it, but I I I strive, I strive to relate to it. So let's talk about self-awareness, some practical strategies that uh that our friends that are listening can use to help them check in with how they're feeling, you know, on a on a daily basis. What are some what are some key questions to ask yourself, do you reckon?
SPEAKER_04Absolutely. I think it's having checking in with yourself throughout the day. So some people like to set alarms and reminders, or I have a journal, a notebook that I take everywhere. When something comes up, I'll write it down, or I will talk to Siri on my phone. Hey Siri, add this as a reminder, something that comes up while I'm driving. But it's checking in at multiple points throughout the day. And it this is not high energy or laborist thing to do.
SPEAKER_01It's you know, am I feeling overwhelmed at the moment or something like that?
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Oh, I'm noticing because often we when we're on autopilot or just you know, surviving sometimes, we shut off a lot of those physical signals that are telling us things are not okay.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_04And it's like, you know, it'll be changes in our heart rate. So for me, I know that when I start feeling a bit anxious and my heart rate increases, that's a sign, okay, something's going on here, and that'll be a check-in. Okay, and so I've learned to start noticing it, whereas I used to just ignore it and just keep going. So the physical things, and for some people it can be, you know, even it might be a headache. It might be the again, the the heart rate, it might be a ta shaking of the hand or a tapping of the foot or pain, pain can pop up somewhere. So what is, you know, checking in, what is my physical body is telling me something here? And ruminating as well. If you find that, you know, you're constantly in your head about something, you know, what am I thinking? What am I feeling? You know, I'm I've got a, you know, I'm feeling anxious now because I've got a rapid heart rate and I can't stop thinking about this scenario that just happened. And we think and we think and we think and we think and we think, and we don't get anywhere with that, do we? And then it builds and it builds and it creates more tension and it just exasperates. So we're non-judgmentally looking at, okay, I'm feeling a bit anxious right now, or I'm feeling really that ticked me off, or that person, which can happen in group, you know, our group programs is that person has triggered me.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_04And it can be a really quick go-to, but well, you know, why is take a pause? Why is that? What is it about that that's had an effect? And it can be this can take 30 seconds.
SPEAKER_01And I yeah, yeah, absolutely. And on the back of that, being able to recognize, like ask yourself, what do I need right now to help me deal with this? Yeah. This this confrontation or this feeling that's come up or this anxiety that I'm feeling. Yeah. What a what what do I need that's going to help me get through this moment?
Stress Physiology And Burnout Risks
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and build a little, you know, the go-to. A go-to is, you know, like for me, depending on what it is, I need to take a step back away from work or, you know, go for a walk or make a cup of tea. My cup in my household, cups of tea solve everything. I say that to my kid, do you want a cup of tea? And then I can see they want to unpack something. Yes, Mum, I'd like a cup of tea.
SPEAKER_01Does the does the type of tea that you offer them denote what type of conversation? Like if it's Earl Grey, you're getting this. Oh no, she wants to offer me green tea, it's gonna be all spiritual. Is that is that like and I know that's a herbal tea again. You get herbal tea again.
SPEAKER_03Well, number's day tea.
SPEAKER_01I I like the fact that you brought up journaling as a way of helping you uh. Yeah, that's been a big one for me. Yeah, me too. Love it, big fan. So, what brought you to journaling in the first place? Oh how did that come about? Can you remember?
SPEAKER_04So I I have kept diaries since childhood. Most of them are now burned, but was that a ceremonial thing where you know there was a ceremonial burning of the diaries when I was a teenager, but they were a huge outlet for me, especially when I had an episode of unrequited love in my teen years. Yes, memories.
SPEAKER_02But I would I was about to I was about to name him.
SPEAKER_04He knows who he is.
SPEAKER_02Do you need a moment?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. So I have pretty much journaled for most of my life, but there's not a lot of record of it. So I burned all the ones from my teenage years and my adult ones, uh, we lost all in the floods, but I've continued to journal after that. So yeah, great way to unpack the busyness of the brain for me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Especially for problem solving.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So when you really, you know, something's come up and you're trying to nut it out.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, why doesn't he love me?
SPEAKER_01Well, well, we may, we may or may not publish this this gentleman's name in the show notes if he's listening. You've got some bridges to mend. Uh we're all good. You're all good. We're all good. We've made peace. Oh, oh, you have good, excellent. So uh self-awareness also gives us the ability to take a pause, which we're talking about here, recognizing when you're ill irritable or hangry. I cover it. That's that's a vernacular. That is people that get angry when they're hungry and it's unrelated. I get a little bit cranky if I've been hungry.
SPEAKER_04Yep. Been there, done that.
SPEAKER_01Noticing if you avoid conflict, that's kind of also me, you know, when it comes to being self-aware of what I want to lean into and what I lean against, or lean against, lean, lean away from. Anyway, moving right along. I'm pretty self-aware that I've made a mess of that, is where I've got. Just keep just keep going. Okay, good. Understanding stress signals, I'm pretty stressed right now, to be honest. How's your heart rate? Oh, I'll tell you, how is it going? Uh 80. Right, okay. So I'm not relaxed. 80? 80. Jeez. What? Is that good or bad? Oh no. Well, okay, I've got a lot going on over here.
SPEAKER_04Breathe, breathe, breathe.
SPEAKER_01Trust me, I will get that down to 72 before the end of the episode.
SPEAKER_03Long XL.
Good Stress, Bad Stress, And Resilience
SPEAKER_01You gotta trust me on this one.
SPEAKER_03All right.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so talk to us about why it's important to understand ourselves better from a you know, a health perspective.
SPEAKER_04Well, from a health perspective, uh, the longer that we remain unaware or in our survival mode or you know, staying stuck where we are, ill health will arise at some point. We can only keep going in like a high drive, high stress state. Stress.
SPEAKER_01That's what we're talking about. Like it will, you know, like if you're not if you're keeping yourself at that level of not looking after yourself and all that, it's going to increase that stress. Which is a beautiful segue. See this. Oh, I like what you did there.
SPEAKER_02See what I did there.
SPEAKER_04That was supposed to be my segue away from it.
SPEAKER_01Okay, well I'm sorry. You segue it up.
SPEAKER_04No, you won't be able to do that. But what do you want to talk about? Can we talk about stress now?
SPEAKER_01Sure. Who would have saw it, right? That's a beautiful segue coping with stress. Jody, what do you want to talk about? Stress is stress. Stress is inevitable, ladies and gentlemen, is where we're going with this one one person on this side of the. You're supposed to do the oh no okay I'm in blue. I'm in blue there. You're in the blue I'm in blue. Right, okay, good. So guys we really had this professionally you know we we spent a whole day discovering this on Zoom and it was just like something And now you're seeing the fruits of our labour. Come on okay so we really do hope you appreciate the effort that we've gone to here. It's a lot of background stuff. So stress this is me introducing the our our next life skill so we've covered self-awareness now self-awareness being a aware of what's going on in your body and how you're feeling helps to reduce your stress levels is basically a nice segue into joining that up. Yeah. Because we all know that stress is inevitable in our daily lives been experiencing a little bit over the last five minutes but that's okay. Stress and anybody that tuned into last week's episode where Jodie told everybody that I tell bad jokes that was pretty stressful moment too. I think your heart rate went up there and yeah that was a little bit unnecessary from your behalf in any way so stress. So what type of stress are we talking friends that are listening? So relationship stress we've all been there work-related stress financial stress obviously physical stress that we put ourselves under emotional stress you know and and when I think of emotional stress you know like it really makes me think of you know as you know I work in the field of suicide prevention that word stigma you know and we talk about stigma from a societal perspective but one of the most damaging stigmas is the one that we put on ourselves yeah you know like I have this condition and and this self-judgment and all that sort of stuff so that's putting a lot of you you're creating that stress for yourself you know so it's not about eliminating stress because it's pretty much hard to eliminate stress in the modern environment the lives that we all live it's all about managing it effectively and self-awareness helps us to recognise stress early and then we go into the the managing of it. So let's talk about some research Jody into stress management.
Unhealthy Coping Vs Sustainable Habits
SPEAKER_04Because I think we've you know for for too long we've carried I'm so busy you know I try not to say that anymore because it's been like a badge of honor. Everybody's busy yeah I'm so busy and I and it's but we know that the negative side effect of when we sit in that chronic state where you know of of stress of conic chronic stress because we need stress as you said you know stress is a part of life but we need a healthy amount of stress for us you know called you stress it's a healthy dose it goes in like a bell-shaped curve if you picture what a bell looks like if we have too little stress then you know we can lack motivation be bored you know we're we're not achieving what we want to achieve where we're not working it out best and then you know we got this by doing a unis assignment yeah you need that stress to get you motivated to do it. Yeah absolutely so that's a healthy amount of stress to or you know someone on the job a first responder needs a good dose of stress to for quick memory recall you know when we've got that split second decision to make decisions memory recall task recall quick decision making so a healthy dose of stress is you know helps us to get the job done but when it becomes negative when we go drop onto the other side of this belt this low lower state when we're just chronically in a state of stress then that's when the ramifications happen if we're not if we're not adapting if we're not switching off and having moments of recovery and downtime it will affect our physical health we know that it suppresses our chronic stresses our suppresses our immune system so we will see often in clients you know more frequency of colds and flu illness autoimmune disease can often be triggered by periods of chronic and acute stress you know and it impacts our negatively impacts our relationships around us when we're in chronic stress you know we're often very in that emotive very reactive state as well with people where less we then become when we tip over the other side of this bell curve we become less resilient to even the most minor of stresses as well and it becomes this kind of overwhelming state and then we can then see incidences more of experiencing depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress.
SPEAKER_01It's making the old saying making a mountain out of a molehill.
Mentors, Coaches, And Objective Support
SPEAKER_04Yeah yeah we see you know a lot of reactivity and the the drive the emotional drive of I've got to respond to this yeah it becomes like this wheel you know stuck on a wheel of and of self-fulfilling prophecy so to speak of being stuck in this stress cycle we need to be able to experience stress and we need to be able to dial down on the other side of it and come back to baseline and that's often what we call resilience.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Is is our ability to to base to bounce back from stressful situations.
SPEAKER_01Well and once again it ties into that first life skill of self-awareness having that awareness of you know when something is fully stressing you out. Yeah and you know it's a hard one isn't it because we all have instances in our lives where we have a say work conflict or a relationship conflict that you know is going to be a stressful situation and you it's kind of you know leans back to the self-awareness that when is now a good time for me to have this conversation or is now you know am I too heightened is am I stressed about every other thing else that it's probably not a good time for me to confront the boss about this or that or you know what I mean?
Breathwork Basics For Fast Calm
SPEAKER_04Yeah yeah absolutely that's the challenge is that often we don't recognise if anyone's ever experienced burnout and I did when I was at uni when my mum was passing away from cancer and I was a solo parent and I had part-time jobs and I was just I've got to get this done go go go go go and I pushed myself so hard I ended up with shingles and I was bedridden and I could not take my kids to school. And the crazy thing is I was studying a health sciences degree and it was one of my How much were you beating yourself up about that? Yeah and I had the mum guilt and yeah it was and the daughter guilt it was like full on and it was a lecturer that pulled me aside and said you can't keep going like this and it was clear because my body just went you're sick and I was bedridden for for days. I just push myself way too hard. So I think anyone that's experienced burnout it's the signs were there when you when you look back and you reflect on it that you don't have the awareness at the time or maybe you do and you just keep pushing through for your own expectations or society and then it hits you sideways and you're you're down for the count like how many people have gone on a holiday and it's supposed to be their de-stress downtime and have fallen ill whenever they go on a holiday. Yeah you know that's the immune system going oh hey whew all right we need this yeah let's turn this up yeah so it's and that's when you know we will often turn to when we're in that overwhelmed state unho unhealthy coping strategies. So you know we'll often turn to alcohol or like what we were talking about before avoidance or overworking you know it's this double edged sort of what we're turning to in the moment might be, you know, you come home from a hard day and you're like oh I've earned a drink to I you know I earned a drink today and it helps to chill you out and get you out of your head and you know but then we know the negative side of it's disrupts your gut it interrupts with if you know your sleep quality.
SPEAKER_01I tried people you heard it ears hate to bust your bubble but she was very abrupt disrupts your gut disrupts your gut it's nasty alcohol yeah it's nasty stuff to you saying that you can't ever have a drink what's the what's the saying Jodie it's the dose the dose is the poison yes but this is you know often these you know and not all of them can appear unhealthy.
SPEAKER_04So I see it a lot with the guys with post-traumatic stress will over exercise and overtrain as a coping strategy.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04So it can be you know not always look like a harmful our coping strategies don't always appear harmful from the outside. Yeah right um but there can be especially with the if people with people with the all or nothing type of thinking which is very common. Yeah so we need we need healthy sustainable strategies to help us break the stress cycle and that's one thing that having a tracker like I've I wear a whoop band and there's like a what band? A whoop band whoop whoop okay W H O O Pop whoop and that it's a activity and recovery tracker but I have noticed that yeah the the improvements in my heart rate variability like the health of my heart the health of my the quality of my sleep is when I've had a rest day the importance of I might go hard and train hard one day but if I've got a rest day in there it increases all of my health markers so it can be and you know from someone who like used to never have a day off really and work out six out of seven days kind of thing it's okay that's you know that's not working for me.
Build Your Personal Stress Menu
SPEAKER_01So it can be yeah it's good to know. So categorize stresses the type of stressing that are and you're saying about having a mentor to help you with your dealing with your your stresses.
SPEAKER_04Yeah for me having mentoring has been a complete game changer.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04Like a business mentor or personal mentor well I suppose they do probably both don't they just yeah my mentor is both Damien Taylor he has a PhD in leadership he originally interviewed me for part of his PhD research uh he's interviewed thousands of leaders and when he approached me I was like I'm not a leader and he's like you're a leader in the space that you work in and he unpacks your leadership style and your how how you've evolved so for me it was through my service in the defense force and then how I've led my life after that and what I've done education wise and work-wise. And so in now I'm he he is my go-to because having a mentor who is a professional as well they can objectively help you unpack things that you might be going through that you can be really stuck in. And yeah in the in the past like 12 months I've been able to make some great decisions with with his mentoring and things that I've been really worried or ruminated about or about to go down that hill having someone that you trust and and you also trust their their advice and that as well we do like lessons learned sessions and unpacking unpacking events and how you know what can we learn from that and how I've responded to things.
From Awareness To Actionable Problem Solving
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I have a similar thing with I have an ADHD coach so it's not like a you know and when I think about our relationship it's probably it is kind of like a mentoring thing. Yeah you know and and Jonathan helps me with and he's a coach that's specifically for P with ADHD. Brilliant yeah him and his wife Monica fantastic business that they have Jonathan Hassel is his name. Yeah H A S yeah and and so I find myself like I don't know if you have structured times when you meet with your mentor but like I might go a couple of months where I haven't booked in a session with Jonathan and you know this is a paid service that I'm paying for as well you know so it's one of those things that I want to get the the most out of it for myself. But then other times where you know I have stressful stuff in my life that you know like I'm trying to deal with work changes or whatever it is that I'm trying to deal with sometimes we might you know I might book in three sessions in the space of six weeks. Yeah. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And helping someone I'm sorry having someone help you unpack it from the outsider's point looking in because you know what do they say you can't see the forest for the trees sometimes when you're in it. Yeah. You know, it's so helpful.
SPEAKER_04Friends and family aren't always objective. They're not always objective and they can be you know emotionally involved in whatever scenario you've got certain bias one way or another. Yeah whereas having a trusted mentor or or a trusted person in your corner yeah can can have a a huge impact and as yeah definitely I've grown a lot in that time.
SPEAKER_01I agree I agree getting a coach or a mentor is a great way of helping you cope with stress.
SPEAKER_04It really is or even you know and and same with like counseling or even like a strength and conditioning coach and you know for for physical resilience and that as well it's having people in your corner yeah really makes a difference.
Five-Step Problem Solving Framework
SPEAKER_01Yeah because if you're so caught up in everything and you're so stressed about you know everything that's going on in your life and you're going, you know, you may be listening you're going no matter what I do I can't seem to get out of the stress that I'm in. You can't see the other side of it yeah that's that's where someone else coming in and helping you and being open to that you know and obviously like you said it's all about a relationship you've got to trust this person you would that that you trust their advice or that they've got your best intentions at heart. But yeah it's you know but for okay so for people that may not want to you know go to all the expense of getting a mentor or a coach or that sort of stuff there is there is stuff that we can do on a daily basis to help reduce our stress you know there's a lot of and they're free they're free a lot of people are talking about breath work at the moment it's in the news you know and you know I think that's because we kind of you know well as someone who meditates and you you know yourself with meditation and yoga we know the the importance of the breath you know and I think sometimes it gets underrated in relate or not acknowledged enough for the amount of stress reduction that you can do for yourself simply by focusing on certain breathing techniques. Yeah you know so powerful it is so powerful and look there there's there's so many different ones out there so if you just looked up breath work or breathing breathing relaxation breath techniques you know there's a lot on offer probably one of the most popular ones is involves breathing in for four holding for five or six and then breathing out for seven or or eight you know so basically the amount you breathe in you're holding it for longer but then you're breathing out for even longer than that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it takes a little bit to get used to you know like you kind of got to juggle those numbers those counts to feel what right it feels right.
SPEAKER_04And then you increase uh the the more you get used to it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah but the the the power is in really breathing out for more than you breathe absolutely you know and it's incredible how this one thing yeah can can be like I know I use a bit of self-breath work when I'm backstage before I'm about to do a gig. You know if I'm about to you know or if you're about to you know give a presentation or do something where it involves you standing in front of a heap of people and it's not really you know public speaking is a thing that kind of freaks a lot of people out. Just taking a moment to just center yourself by breathing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
Pros, Cons, And Decision Confidence
SPEAKER_01You know, before you go out there like I'll just stand backstage and I'll just you know I've got a couple of things that I do and breathing is one of them. Yeah just focusing on the breath and calming myself.
SPEAKER_04Yeah it's a it's well that longer exhale is what slow starts to like slow our heart rate down. So it calms the nervous system. So it's yeah just a few slow deep breaths is incredibly powerful.
SPEAKER_01Yeah it's great in it and and giving yourself some uh like a bit of a menu like you were saying about different things that work to help you de-stress you know like what you know obviously we've spoken about having a coach or a mentor you know to help you kind of defrag or unpack all of the things in your life that are stressing you out or you know doing some breath work when you're about to go and do something stressful. But there's all sorts of things that we can do isn't there?
SPEAKER_04Yeah definitely and I think like again journaling if you you know don't have a trusted person that you can seek out for me when I'm going through something I always will I journal as I say to my participants just journal the shit out of that.
SPEAKER_01Journal the shit out of it and it's so it's stream of consciousness writing isn't I love that.
Natural Disasters, Moral Injury, And Repair
SPEAKER_04See and that's the thing is you just put the what am I writing doesn't matter just write yeah what one of my groups last year there like catch cry for the whole two weeks was I'm gonna journal the shit out of that um pardon the language but it just it demystifies it and it's like don't overthink it just a lot of people will get pen to paper and go, I don't know what I'm gonna write about or does this have to be deep and meaningful no it it doesn't have to be yeah just just write it out and it's I heard a beautiful saying about this recently what's that and it's a it's a saying for life too the hand having once written moves on oh the hand having once written moves on oh I really like that I need to put that on a sticker maybe put that on my back of my car for the road race jump into a bumper sticker to you my friends the merch will be on the website oh no I really that wow that is I love that I've not heard that before it's cool huh yeah it's so and I because I look back you know when I was journaling through when we lost our home in the floods and I was we were homeless. And for a brief period of time there. And I was like, I don't know where we're going to live. I don't know, you know, I chose this house.
SPEAKER_01Um That's an unimaginable stress for two for a lot of people. Like I can't imagine that stress.
SPEAKER_04My dog and I, both of us, we we didn't eat for three days. It was incredibly stressful for my kids and we lost so much. And but I I still have the journal of at night, you know, because I never I didn't sleep for days. And just all the things that I was worried about and grieving about and also beating myself up about as well. A lot of guilt of why did I choose this area that was supposed to be a one in one hundred year flood kind of thing? I look back at it, you know, later when I read over it and everything, everything worked out. We're okay. And we just lost things. You know, and it was really great to go back over it and it was very powerful. And so now when really stressful things come up too, I'm like, is it really, you know, I'm not gonna be worried about that, you know, 10 years' time. It's how how much am I putting effort into this at the moment? So I think, yeah, that's definitely a free and easy tool. And, you know, our strategies don't have to be your stress menu doesn't have to be a long list of overwhelming tasks that time consuming. It can be a bit of, you know, a few minutes of, you know, five minutes of breath work. It can be taking a walk outside, take your shoes off, put your, you know, your your feet in the grass, ground yourself for a moment, a few deep breaths. Maybe it's going for a you know what a basic one that is.
SPEAKER_01Taking your shoes off. Ground it. Oh taking your shoes off and walking, finding some grass to walk on.
SPEAKER_04My two favourite things of like feet in some really nice green. I've got a lovely grass out the front of my house and shoes off great feet in the grass. And my other one is just feet in the edge of the ocean, water, just and I just visualize taking all my stress, anything I'm worried about away. You know, you can call a friend who's got your back, you know, yeah, exercise, or maybe it's a hobby or something that gets you out of your head. You know, anything that basically gets you out of your head at at the time, it can be any kind of activity, and then it can be something long. So long, you know, for me it is going for a surf or going for a hike. They're my they're my big resets. And the positive effects of that will last for days or a half day yoga retreat workshop or something like that, yeah, will really help reset me for days. So, you know, they can they don't have to be exhausting, expensive, well complicated.
Workplace Conflict: Apply The Trio
SPEAKER_01It's to do with the it's really relevant to the situation that you're finding yourself in, isn't it? You know, like if you're in traffic and you're up to your bollocks in traffic and you're running late or whatever and you're starting to get anxious and stressed out about it, you know, just that's when the breath work could come in. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh because we do not want you pulling out a journal while you're sitting in traffic.
SPEAKER_04But you can do a voice recording.
SPEAKER_01You could do a voice recording with all the new mod cons and yeah, so yeah. But yeah, so that's the thing, is it what is it, what is it that you can do that's relevant at the time, you know?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I remember when I was a sales manager, I was I was like, oh I don't know, I was like 24 or something at the time, and I had a couple of sales reps that I was in charge of, and I was a little bit wound up, right, at the time. And the boss brought me in a stress ball, right? Oh yeah. But he goes, here, squeeze this.
SPEAKER_04Was there anything left of it?
SPEAKER_01I think I threw it out the window actually. So but yeah, so finding what it is, you know, and I do like the idea of the fact that finding ways to manage stress can be something is you know, it's so diverse. What is it that's like what's what's gonna work for you is the key, you know. If it's a if it's simple breathing, breath work, breathing techniques, fantastic, or if it's at the other end of the scale where you go, you know what, I do need to get away for a couple of days and just switch off in the world, you know, like that's either end of the scale and everything in between, whatever works for you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, absolutely. You know, and and having I think a collection of what short and long, you know, what's what can I do right now, what's a quick reset right now, and recognizing, you know what, like I need I need a couple of days off here before you're cooked.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And this leads into our third life skill for this episode, right? We're doing great. We're doing good. So self-awareness helps us recognize stress, right? And then we have coping strategies to help us deal with stress and managing it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
Practice, Patience, And Series Preview
SPEAKER_01But what about when we face actual problems? You know, like that's where problem solving comes in. And the the beautiful thing about it is, and like I said, we chose these three to start with because they are the foundation of everything and the way they interlock. Yeah, you know, having a good self-awareness and and being able to cope with stress is going to have a huge impact on the way on your problem-solving ability. Yeah, definitely. You know, because life is full of problems, you know, like no matter what you do, you've got you're gonna have problems in your life, you know. It's just the way that life is, it's the beautiful part about it, it's it's complicated. And most people approach their problems reactively, you know, like a problem comes up and then you go, Oh shit, what do I do? Yeah. Um, and then you've got, but uh systematic problem solving is a learned skill. You can actually learn how to do this.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it builds on self-awareness and and managing your stress. So it's yeah, I think it's a really nice one to round out this episode. Self-awareness, problem dealing with stress, and enabling us to be better at solving the problems in our life.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, because I think if we're if we're managing our stress as as much as we can, we then have we're in a better space, we're in a better head space, and we're also, you know, physically and mentally more prepared to be able to problem solve, and like you said, like less reactively and be more creative about how we problem solve in that as well. And often, you know, if we're in a high stressed, high reactive state, we will just jump to the first solution, which may not always be the best. It might come back to bite us on the butt later, you know.
SPEAKER_01And we can Easy isn't always best.
SPEAKER_04No, that's right.
SPEAKER_01No, no, I was watching it. I've just recently discovered the world of Ted Lasso.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's the best show.
SPEAKER_01And I've just fallen in love with this guy, and I I've only just started watching it. I know I'm not sure.
SPEAKER_04Oh my, you're so behind on the April.
SPEAKER_01I know, I know. But and oh, there were so many beautiful, it's just full of quotes for life.
SPEAKER_04It it's teaching moments, just yeah.
SPEAKER_01What was the one from last night that I watched that I felt was relevant to the the right things to do are not always are generally not the easiest things to do.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So true.
Closing Thoughts & Listener Invitation
SPEAKER_01Like, and when it comes to solving problems, you know, like you may know what the right thing is to do, it's not gonna be easy though.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, no, it's not, it's not gonna be easy. And that's, you know, I think if we're aware and managing our stress, we can be less, you know, less reactive and emotive in our decision making, which can, you know, often lead us down a a wayward path kind of thing, if we're really, you know, making decisions or thinking that we're solving our problems, but maybe we're maybe creating more because we're not learning from previous mistakes if we don't have that awareness. So that's where they all really lead into each other.
SPEAKER_01And the mentor and the coach as well. Big impact on your problem solving. Because if you're if you're if you are in the problem and you're living it, yeah, sometimes it takes, once again, someone to step outside to go, you know, not only this is the way that you cope with stress, but this is the way that we can help solve this problem.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I've been able to flip the switch from like high stress and no sleep to within 24 hours, I've dealt with that.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_04Done. This is your strategy, these are the this is how I'm gonna problem solve this, yeah, and this is the actions I'm gonna take. I've done all those things, done, let it go.
SPEAKER_01Wow, that's cool. Yeah. So let's talk about some problem solving strategies for our uh because we we need to what you know avoid emotional decision making because that can, you know, not not help the problem. Yeah. And we don't want to avoid problems until they become crises, you know, like you put it, you're gonna avoid this problem, avoid it, avoid it, avoid it, and then all of a sudden, bang, it's a disaster. So there's and look, this is in my I haven't made this up right. There are numerous different problem solving strategies. The one that we're gonna talk about today is a five-step problem solving process, which involves step one is defining the problem clearly, step two is generating multiple solutions, you know, because of a lot of problems, there are more than one way to solve it. Step three is evaluating each of those options. Step four is choosing one and implementing it, and then step five is review and adjust. And I think the reason that I really like this model is because it reminds me of what we talk about in evidence-based practice. You know, you find something, what is the evidence, you put it into practice, and then you review it, and then how do we refine it and move, and it's like the circle of problem solving, you know. Yeah. So uh, you know, and when you're defining the problem, you know, be is hone in on it as much as you can, you know. What is it exactly the problem?
SPEAKER_04Be specific.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, be very specific, you know. And then generating multiple solutions, you know. Once again, this might be where the journaling comes in handy, you know, writing it out or the mentoring.
SPEAKER_04And I love um, I get my kids to do this, and it was a big part of them picking what they wanted to do as they left school is pros and cons. You know, we've all heard it and it's something so simple, but a lot of that's a great idea, yeah. Yeah, just write down the pros and cons. And which way is that decision weighted? Yeah. And and you know, cost the cost and benefit. Damien will often say to me, okay, if you take that job on, what is the cost to you? Oh, well, it's my time. Okay, and what is the benefit? I get to reach more people, that's great. And there's been other decisions where it's like, what's the cost? Well, they want me to invest, blah, blah, blah. And what's the benefit? Oh, it might, someone might listen to it or come along to it or like, hmm, okay. And then as you're verbal, often when you're verbalizing something too, and you're, you know, you're going through it, you go, yeah, that's not really worth investing my time, that you, you know, scenario.
SPEAKER_01So I so I so love how all of these life skills interact with each other. Yeah. You know, it is so cool because like just we're there, we're like we're we're focusing on problem solving at the moment, but the the actual life skill of decision making comes into problem solving, you know.
SPEAKER_04Which needed awareness first because I needed to be aware that there was exactly 100%, you know.
SPEAKER_01So, and you know, decision making is something we'll be deep diving into in the next next episode because in our thinking kind of triad triad, but yeah, being able to generate multiple solutions and and evaluate each each option, you know, like you said, the pros and cons, what's what's work and what's step to head, sorry.
SPEAKER_04I know. No, it's all good, it's all good. It's all good, relax. Step to head with pros and cons.
SPEAKER_01It's all good. Hello, it's all good, relax.
SPEAKER_04Get so excited.
SPEAKER_01I'll be excited to let you inside. But the at the end of the day, you've got to make a decision.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You've got to make a decision, you've got to choose one, you know, and commit to it, and and then how did that work out for you? How did how did making did that did it solve the problem?
SPEAKER_04Or do you need to actually go and and yeah, and I I think the big game changer for me was taking making the choice of what action I was going to take, and then I take the action and I've done my bit and I leave it there. Because not always does the problem I've had get solved, because it takes the organization or the person that the problem is involved with on the other side to either respond, to react or make change or to communicate. And there's been times where there's been nothing on the other side.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_04But I've I'm okay with that because I've done my what I can do in that scenario, and then I've I've let it go and I've done as much as I can about it. So for me, it was definitely Damien always leaves me with specific steps. Right. After this phone call, you are going to write that email. This is what it's going to include. Then after that, I want you to go and just chill out and have make a cup of tea or take the dog, you know, go for a walk and and let it go.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, yes. Did you have this, did you have the structure in probably should talk into the microphone? Did you have the structure in place when you were doing your journaling when you were going through the flood?
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_01You know, did you have your mentor then? No. No, you did all that on your own.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I was very yeah. And you really Well, I wouldn't say I was alone during that. I had amazing support, but I didn't have any I didn't have anyone going yeah, helping me through that process. So the journaling was definitely Do you still have those journals from the flood? Yeah. And that's I think that's where it so helpful to me the last time I read back on them when it was, I don't know where we're going to live. We have nowhere to live. And it was like I had amazing friends that said, come and come and stay here. We've got a house furnished that's being renovated. If you don't mind a bit of renovation, we and everything and then we found somewhere else to live after that, and everything is worked out.
SPEAKER_01I can see a whole I can see a whole avenue of opportunity for you, and we'll talk about this off air later on. That I know I've been asked on numerous occasions to go in and do my laughter clinic mental health suicide prevention presentation after natural disasters. You know, I've I've gone in after, you know, the floods up in North Queensland a couple of times and Victoria Country Victoria where they've had the fires and all that sort of stuff. And you know, as a way of self-care for the people that are in that position that you found yourself in, you know. And I can really see benefit from those people hearing from someone like yourself, like as good as what it is for me going in there and giving them some self-care strategies and and and making them laugh and and reminding them of the importance of humor and laughter. I think it's also I can s really see the value in them hearing from someone like yourself to go, I have lived through this. And, you know, because all of those emotions and all of those situations that you've just talked about, I can promise you there'll be people listening that have, you know, been displaced from fires or floods or all that sort of stuff.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And go, she gets it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. You know, and it's a different type of trauma. Yes. Yeah. And and I sometimes I recognise I still I'm still talking about that. Like we talk about it.
SPEAKER_01I'm still talking about we were talking, we were talking in in your episode, the last episode, about moral injury, right? And in actual fact, when you think about it, you know, when you were talking before about beating, you know, all the guilt that you had about the floods and the you know, your choice of living and all that sort of stuff, that is actually a moral injury right there.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Never really thought about that, actually.
SPEAKER_01You know. And so that's why I can really I'm kind of I'm really digressing, but I'm just saying that I think people, you know, living after uh living through a natural disaster could really benefit from hearing that sort of stuff that you've got. So if I ever get if I ever get asked to go back, I'll be seeing if I can get you on that.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah, as long as long as I'm allowed to give you a hard time on stage.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right. So what would you tell a friend is the next you know? Yeah, yeah, that's pretty funny.
SPEAKER_04That's a really good timing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, what would you tell a friend when stuck on a problem? Ask, what would I tell a friend in this situation? Mark's James.
SPEAKER_04I'm not on your friend list anymore. I'm not your go-to.
SPEAKER_01Creating creating a psychological distance reduces emotional reactivity. Like, you know, asking yourself, you got a problem and you're going, okay, well, if you can't do it, you go, well, what would I tell someone else if they were dealing with the problem that I'm dealing with? You know, it's an interesting strategy, really, isn't it? That whole sort of do as I say, not as I no, do as do as I say, not as I do.
SPEAKER_04That's right. Yeah, yeah. We don't know what we're talking about. Well, I think you know, a big part of it too is self-compassion, and this is a lot of people on our programs really struggle with this having, you know, because there is a lot of shame, guilt, stigma around mental health still, even though we're getting much better with you know education and awareness, there is still that, you know, why am why am I like this? Why, you know, how's this happened to me and not others that I've worked with? And you know, so I think self-compassion is really kindness towards yourself as you would extend to you know your friends and family is important.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so I love it. I love the fact that, you know, for the problem solving we've you know, given our this, you know, the five-step process, journaling is a big way to work it out, and then you know, having some type of guidance from an outside source mentor or you know, coach is great. Friend colleague. Friend colleague, all of that. And this is the beautiful we we're at the end of this episode where we've covered the three our first three life skills, right? And we've talked throughout the episode about how they integrate beautifully, but we just want to highlight this as we wind as we wind this this last bit up. So self-awareness is the foundation, helping you recognize stress early helps you understand problems clearly. Yes. Stress management.
SPEAKER_03Oh, sorry, am I going into stress?
SPEAKER_01We're nude this.
SPEAKER_04Yes, sorry, I wasn't paying attention to the color coding that we did.
SPEAKER_01You the one you chose the colours. You said I want to be orange.
SPEAKER_04Oh, just sitting listening to the dulcet tones of your voice. Uh so we're looking at how stress management can help keep us calm. It helps us to be clearer of thinking for our problem solving and prevents burnout while building our self-awareness.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And and problem solving, you know, we've got the self-awareness, stress management, and problem solving addresses the root causes of the stress, you know, to hopefully reduce future stress and and building confidence and self-awareness. And also, I suppose you could add self esteem onto that, you know, quality of life. Quality of life.
SPEAKER_04Well, I think well, it's it's self esteem and confidence. I have so much more confidence now and trust in myself, in my decision making, and you know, because I've been Able to integrate all of these things that we've been discussing today into my life and I've seen the benefits and the growth from that. And then when you're really proud of yourself, it it boosts your confidence for sure.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. So let's talk a let's do a real world, uh, real world example, you know, like a conflict that you might be having with a co-worker, you know. Uh, this is where all three of these uh life skills you can be, you can use these three life skills in in a real world example. So conflict with a co-worker. We've all been there, we've got people that we work with, you know, we don't like them all. Sometimes people give us the shits. Notice so self-awareness is noticing I'm feeling angry or I'm feeling defensive about whatever it is that this other person is doing. Self-awareness is also being able to recognize the fact that, you know, the current situation might be reminding you of a conflict that you had in the past. Some might be bringing up some stuff for you that you'd kind of thought you'd buried, and then all of a sudden someone does something that triggers you off. And or self-awareness might be having the understanding that I tend to avoid confrontation, you know. So there might be someone at work that's given you the shits, but you've got the self-awareness to go, you know, I I can't I can't do it, I can't broach it, I can't bring it up.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so that's having the self-awareness, and then say that's going to create a stress in you. So what do you do? And then you've got your stress.
SPEAKER_04And can I add another one to awareness, not just self-awareness, but awareness of the other person that you're in conflict with, of where they might be coming from in this scenario as well. So they could have, you know, stress, their own stress, trauma.
SPEAKER_01You never know what someone else is going through. That's right. You've got to give some people give people some slack.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And yeah, having a bit of awareness of self and others, I think, go hand in hand. And so, yeah, we're in a conflict situation. We're having some self-awareness. Then how are we going to manage the stress of that event and something, you know, as we talked about, the four, seven, eight breath or whatever count works for you. Also, box breathing. We didn't get onto box breathing. I think we will touch that on another subject as well, but a breathing technique. Choose something from your stress menu that works for you. Maybe it's going for a bit of a quick walk. And accepting, I can't control their reaction. So accepting what you can control and what you can't. I like the saying, not my circus, not my monkeys.
SPEAKER_01We've got them all coming out today, ladies and gentlemen. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
SPEAKER_03That's another sticker.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I like it. I like, I do like that one. Not my circus, but I train the monkeys.
SPEAKER_03I am a monkey.
SPEAKER_01And then, and so, right, and then we get to the root of the problem. You know, we go, okay, so now I've got to solve this problem, right? I've had the self-awareness that there is a problem. I've calmed myself down with my stress management techniques, and now I'm ready to actually solve the problem. So defining what the problem is, you know, is it a communication breakdown at work? Is it a conflict of interest? Is it something a task isn't being performed correctly? Is it a performance issue? And then uh, you know, and then start to generate some solutions. You know, you want to look at solutions. How can we, how can we rectify this situation? How can we improve this person's productivity? They might be going through some stuff at home that you're not aware of, or they might have personal stuff going on that's affecting their thing at work, because you know, there's a massive thing in in the workplace called presenteeism. You know, we talk about absenteeism and workers' compensation, but presenteeism is a huge thing. Yeah. People rocking up at work and being unproductive because they're struggling mentally, you know, or emotionally they've got things going on, you know. So um so really taking that into account when you're looking at generating some solutions and evaluating it, you know, like evaluating, you know, you've got to obviously choose a direction and path, but you know, evaluating what are these what are what are the options here, which one's gonna be the best, and then you've got to obviously make a decision which you know decisions can be hard. We we will talk about that in the next episode, helping you out with decision making and and then so implementing it and then a review. How did it how did everything go? You know, how what's what's the what's the outcome?
SPEAKER_04Lessons learned. Yeah, lessons learned, big one. Mediation is a big one too. Um being a mediator in the Air Force, a big thing was, you know, for conflict, it was often just a breakdown of communication. Once, you know, we sat both parties down and they communicate where they're at, often the other side will go, Oh yeah, I didn't realise that you were going through that, or I didn't realise that's what you were, you know, I was having that impact on you and um can make mediation can make a big difference.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, cool. And and practice these these skills, these these skills take practice, you know. And so start with one strategy from each of the skills that we these life skills that we've talked about. And and be patient with yourself, you know, because it you know, give yours give yourself some slack because these are, you know, a lot of people might not have even heard of these ten life skills that the World Health Organization have put out there. But I I think it's a fantastic thing to bring into the world is to be talking about these things because everyone there's all so many people that are that are stressed, that are lonely, that uh, you know, we've got an a l an epidemic of loneliness around the planet, mental health can mental illness is at an all-time high, you know, there's so many conflicts in the news and media and all this sort of stuff, you know. So if we can help people with some life skills, and and these three are the foundation, my friends, self-awareness, knowing yourself and coping with stress, being able to manage the pressures in life and and helping you to solve some problems and address, you know, whatever problems that you've got in your life systematically. Well, that's it. That's I can that's why we do we call it the foundation trio, isn't it? Really? So so yeah, there you go, my friends. That's the first episode of the Life Schools Masterclass series. Our next episode, we're going to be talking about the thinking trio. So we've got the foundation, and then the next one is the thinking trio. So we are going to be unpacking critical thinking leading into creative thinking, which then leads into decision making and how we can be more effective in in decision making, because we all know we've got to make countless decisions throughout our days, and some are easy. I'll have a lot of and some are super difficult. You know, I feel really I feel for people that have to make really massive decisions that not only affect their lives, that affects the lives of other, you know, like these people that work in organizations and they've got to decide whether or not they're gonna let a thousand people go out of work, or yeah, you know, like I can't begin to imagine the enormity of of the pressure in those decisions, you know. So they're all the things we're gonna unpack in the next episode. So uh creative critical thinking, creative thinking, and decision making is is where we're going next week. Jody Allen. Can't wait. So uh any final thoughts on the uh on the opening three?
SPEAKER_04No, I think uh I think it was like a brief overview of some of the foundations, really.
SPEAKER_01And we could we we could do an hour on each one of these, and we thought, no, we'll try and make it manageable.
SPEAKER_04Hit the big ticket, the big ticket things that you can do. That's right. Yeah, yeah, I think to not make it too too uh overwhelming and too complicated.
SPEAKER_01That's right. Yeah, we're trying to make it bite-sized and user-friendly, my friends. So uh yeah, there you go. So Life Skills Masterclass, episode number one, done and dusted. We'll see you next week for the critical thinking, creative thinking, and decision making, the thinking trio. And until then, Jodie Allen, thank you very much for your company and joining me on uh the series and the podcast. Really appreciate it. And and as always, my friends, wherever you're listening in the world, please be kind to yourself and be kind to those around you. We will talk to you next time.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for listening. The information contained in this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended, nor should it ever replace advice received from a physician or mental health professional. Want more info? Visit the lunchclinic.com.au. If you enjoyed the episode, please share and subscribe. Thanks again for listening to the Laughter Clinic Podcast with your host McConf.