Dwayne Kennedy & Maggie Hughes DePalo: Reality Show Nightmares & UFO Scientists | TPMS Ep. 36

Get ready—this might be the best 39 minutes and 92 seconds you’ve ever experienced. A vintage Chicago episode with old friends and all-timers of The Pat McGann Show.

This week, Dwyane Kennedy and Maggie Hughes DePalo join Pat to defend Chicago comedy, revisit reality show disasters, and break down the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Why were people still eating? Did Oz see it coming? And where exactly was RFK during all of it?

Along the way: Kevin Hart’s Chicago Funny AF auditions, the economics (and mild humiliation) of selling merch, a ref who wants to settle things with a boxing match, and the government casually confirming UFOs.

Rate it. Review it. Tell your local ref we’re ready for three rounds. 

🎧 New episodes every Thursday — filmed at Tiege Hanley Studios in Chicago.

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🎤 Guest: Maggie Hughes DePalo
Instagram: @maggiehughesdepalo

🎤 Guest: Dwayne Kennedy
Instagram: @dwaynetkennedy

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EXECUTIVE PRODUCER - Kelley Thornton
PRODUCER - Paula Thornton
SHOWRUNNER - Tom Bambara
VIDEO AND AUDIO EDITOR - Madeline Curless
AUDIO ENGINEER - Tommy Grant
VIDEO PRODUCER - Eddie Perez
ORGANIC CONTENT MANAGER - George Moster

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:00

It's episode 36 of the Pat McGann Show. This week, Pat welcomes comedians Dwayne Kennedy and Maggie Hughes DePaulo. The Pat McGann Show, as always, is brought to you by Tiege Hanley, a complicated skincare for men. And now, here's Pat.

SPEAKER_06 0:14

Alright, here we go. Episode 36. We're live here in the Tiege Hanley studios on the west side of Chicago. And this one, guys, this is a ho-hum. This is a vintage episode. This is what this is what I had in mind when I when we launched the podcast. Just a hang with some comics, some people I know. I mean, I love having guests on here and getting to know people. But I got Dwayne Kennedy and Maggie, who's the polo on the ride today. Maggie H D, I saw on the clapper. I like that.

SPEAKER_04 0:47

M H D.

SPEAKER_06 0:47

Maggie H D.

SPEAKER_04 0:48

There you go. I like it.

SPEAKER_06 0:50

Yeah, I wanted to uh jump into something that I just saw. I gotta admit, I had not watched this show, but I get a little bit like defensive, maybe. I get you know, a little talking about the Chicago comedy scene. Um, but first one also want to acknowledge Chris Higgins was on this show just showing how much in the pulse we are. But Kevin Hart has a show on Netflix. Have you heard about this?

SPEAKER_04 1:14

Yeah, yeah. I've seen a bunch of the clips. I haven't seen anybody set yet.

SPEAKER_06 1:17

Funny at Funny AF. Yeah. It's brought to you by Abercrombie and Fitch. Yeah. Funny AF, Kevin Hart on Netflix. Yeah. And uh they had uh like an audition. What is it? A contest contest, and that's the thing, right? Uh competitive stand-up. That's the worst never fun. No, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:35

It's already competitive when you're doing the show. Now you gotta add another layer. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_06 1:41

Yeah, so they did an audition here in Chicago, and I they weren't loving what the city was offering. But I don't even think they had a bunch of Chicago comics on there. They just happened to have the audition here.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

It was probably one of those things where they know going in certain cities we're gonna we can are expendable or we can diss or we can pretend to be honest about our opinion. Because they wouldn't do that to folks in LA because they were there's too many connections and too much to lose, right? That's a good point, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:11

I mean a bunch of bullies. If you don't like the content, then that's what you edit out, right? And then you just put better stuff on. Yeah, right. Especially if you're a stand-up trying to elevate the game. It just seems like a little bit like why do you want to go there? Yeah, have that be part of the show.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

As a stand-up, you know what I mean? You know how for how it was for you coming up. Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 2:32

Well, and they're all really good comics. I can't imagine, like, nobody bombed, maybe you don't like a certain style. Like Chris Higgins is very different from other people. Like, I I feel like yeah, it was definitely a little trash shocking.

SPEAKER_06 2:43

But and the clip is is Kevin Hart talking to Camal, right? Who started here. I know, man.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Like, you gotta stand up for Chicago, dude. Like, this is Oh, he and did you see the clip uh Camel did stand up? He said, uh-huh. Yeah, you're right. I said uh-huh. That's true. You're right.

SPEAKER_06 3:00

Yeah, yeah, everything. He was like P. Diddy in a uh biggie song.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

Just over his shoulder. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Right.

SPEAKER_06 3:09

That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

Yeah, man. Right. Camal started here, and what are you doing, man? And then let's they should have a show reviewing let's critique Kevin Hart's act. Right. Let's start with that. Who are you?

SPEAKER_04 3:23

You would also think somebody that big would have a little more grace and at least have something positive to say about everybody, right?

SPEAKER_06 3:31

Big, you mean five one? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that ego's like five.

SPEAKER_04 3:37

On a phone book, yeah. I I you know, or at least like if you see like a cooking show, like the you know, the the professional chefs will like, you know, say something nice about it, but it was missing this. Like, he just flat out is like, that was bad. Like wasn't real thoughtful.

SPEAKER_06 3:53

Did you hear about this? Did you know that this was going on? That they were they had this audition here?

SPEAKER_04 3:56

I did. I well, I've seen clips like Olivia Carter uh was on it, I believe. I've seen uh yeah, I've seen it all over social media, but she's great, but also very different than Chris Higgins. Like you're not gonna get the same. Um but I did not I did not see what you showed me today, which is that they they didn't uh enjoy it, I guess. So they did Chicago, New York, LA, and then one person gets picked for what?

SPEAKER_06 4:17

I'm not even sure of like the format of the show. And and I kind of intentionally avoid stuff like this. I'm not like that's not a show I'm gonna watch, competitive stand-up. Like, I'm just kind of because I'm first gonna be like, why didn't I get an audition? Why didn't you sure and then you're like it just is like you just put it over there.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

You you want to be invited so you can say, nah.

SPEAKER_06 4:37

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Yeah, yeah. I don't want to do that. I've done them.

SPEAKER_06 4:40

You've done them. I have, yeah. I you know, last comic standing was the first one I did, and that was like when my son was sick. Elliot had leukemia, and we were like going through that, and they I felt them sniffing around that as like my backstory. Oh, yeah, they love it. Oh, and they like interviewed. I was like, Yeah, you know, they're asking me something. I'm like, no, that's uh that's private. I'm not going there.

SPEAKER_04 5:02

So they love it when AGT where they were like behind the scenes, like, tell us more about you. Like yes, really.

SPEAKER_06 5:09

They love that, and they love when you too. And America's got talent. I actually was uh I had an experience on there, dude. I I did the live show in front of Simon and Heidi, all of them. Yeah. And I um I did a bit that they asked me to do. They're like, we want you to do this bit. I kind of I didn't have to audition. They had seen me live and they were kind of bringing me in. Um and they did I didn't get approved. And I was sitting there like, you know, your live audience, you're like, oh, is this happening? Like kind of, oh man.

SPEAKER_04 5:39

Especially when like the people there are like juggling knives with their tongues right before you.

SPEAKER_06 5:43

Yeah, and you want to like, you know, you're listening to who is it, Howie? It was how Howie was with me. I had like two of the four. Right. And I was like, in the back of my mind, I was like, I knew that bit was a that not the bit to do. Right. You know, and then the judges are saying, like, I don't know, the material choice, like, you producer told me to do it. That's what they do, man.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

They set you up. Yeah, they set you up.

SPEAKER_06 6:05

So I asked for another, like, I'm like, I can let me turn this around. And I actually did. I did another like two minutes, three minutes, turned it around, like had a moment. I was like, oh man, I'm definitely gonna be on this. And then uh I got a call. And they did all the background, I'm like FaceTiming the kids, we're taping all this stuff, and then I got cut out at the end, which I am actually glad I did in retrospect. Yeah, yeah. I am happy.

SPEAKER_04 6:29

Well, they say you have to be back in LA like a bunch of times, it's like a hassle, and there's not a lot of pay.

SPEAKER_06 6:34

Yeah, and now what you hear about these shows, even the people we've had on here, we had Joe Flam on here talking about the cooking competition, you know, top chef, like they sequester you. They, you know, Bill Rancick was talking about with The Apprentice. Yeah, they take you out of reality, they take your you know, phone away, and they irritate you. They want to get you a little bit off, they get you agitated because they want to get away.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

A lot of AGT rejects on the show. Yeah, they want you to start crying.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

I got rejected out of the gate. They like reached out to me like three months ago. We love you, what have you, like, send us your stuff, and then like they're like, nah. I'm like, you reached out to me. Like, I didn't apply or send in a tape. Like for America's Got Talent.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:13

And I then my manager's like, well, it doesn't pay anything, and you have to be in LA like every five weeks for days on end, and to potentially get up and do stand-up in front of people that are not there for stand-up. It's like kind of our worst nightmare.

SPEAKER_06 7:25

Yeah, I think so. When your skin looks better, you feel more confident everywhere you go. At work, out with friends, on a date, or like me at a big show. That's why I like Tiege Hanley. They make skincare simple with a routine that takes about two minutes a day. Just wash, exfoliate, moisturize, and you're done. No complicated routines or cluttered bathroom shelves. If you want to look better without overthinking it, try Tiege Hanley. Check it out at Tiege.com slash Pat and get 40% off and a free gift. That's Tiege.com slash Pat. Tiege Hanley. Put your best face forward. Yeah, the uh but some people make their you know, make their bones there. Yes. We were talking about just uh off camera. It's all over social media owes Pearlman being the host at uh the White House Correspondence Dinner during all the chaos. He was an America's guy talent guy. He's a mentalist. Or mentalist, yeah. And he uh didn't see it coming. Yeah, exactly. Where was he at?

SPEAKER_04 8:31

No, I've seen that video. He's like still doing a bit or a in front of while it's going on. Like he didn't have a clue. I don't know that he's the best mentalist out there, to be honest. He like missed a whole thing.

SPEAKER_06 8:44

So he's incredible. No, no, I'm kidding. You've got to pull up some of his clips. I was because I actually am buddies with this dude. I did a couple gigs with him. Okay, I'm talking to him about being on this this show. O's. He's uh he would be a great get. In his mind, he's already on the show, yeah, right? Sure. Yeah, yeah. But I've seen him uh do some stuff live. He did a show for Sebastian's uh tour for like the uh behind the scenes people, all the and uh you know I've seen his stuff on TV, he's gone viral a million times.

SPEAKER_04 9:10

He's pretty much mentalist is what again?

SPEAKER_06 9:14

It's like you would think psychic, but it's I don't know what if he was reading mine's and that is a mentalist worse. That was a quick read. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 9:23

He's he's yeah. Uh okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_06 9:25

It's not a psychic, but a I'm not even sure what yeah, what is the difference between psychic and a mentalist?

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Uh your your your dog was named so and so. You when so you're thinking of why is my act so lame? What that's you know you're think you're you you came here in a blue car and yeah, they can read it. Read stuff, see stuff.

SPEAKER_04 9:48

All right, well, let's have him on circle.

SPEAKER_06 9:52

Chicago.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Let me just say one to say about that that whole thing when everything was happening in the chaos at the dinner. Oh, yeah. They showed a, I was watching the CNN, they showed a clip, people are scrambling, Secret Service guns, one cat was sitting in the audience, still eating.

SPEAKER_04 10:09

Still eating. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

I saw that.

SPEAKER_04 10:12

People were grabbing championships.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Champagne, line, just stepping over. I guess he said they ain't trying to kill me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:22

And this meatloaf is good. Yeah. That was aggressive. There were everyone was reacting differently. They're guys like pointing guns into the crowd. Is that what they're trained to do? They're just, and uh, and then they what they took everybody out of there. Right. Well, it seemed like uh it escorted some people out.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

They left Cheryl Hines on her own. She had to just, she was tra Robert Kennedy had two security guys. She was just backing up.

SPEAKER_04 10:45

All the women were crawling on the ground by themselves.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

What about my wife? Uh she'd be all right. Let's go.

SPEAKER_06 10:50

Remember, Kenny was trying to. Is there any carcass around? Was there anyone murdered? I'm gonna drag that back to my apartment. Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Dissect it. Yeah, I need to cut off some penises and take them back to the take them back to my room. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:04

All right, back to Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart has no business judging comedy.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Yeah, I just felt like that. I don't really think any comedian has a business judging as an endeavor. I mean, of course, we all do it in our minds or amongst each other. Right. But to put it on a show, I don't think anybody should be doing that, really.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

And it looks like they're talking in the back of the room during a live show. Like comedy. Well, Kevin's talking. Right. Kumel is just agreeing. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:31

Yeah, he really was just a yes man.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

He was just, yeah. What?

SPEAKER_04 11:34

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Have you had to do any uh have you done any reality? I have, brother. I yeah, I did uh no, what is it? Uh Last Comic Standing. And I regret that I ever did it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:48

Yeah. And they would go on tours too, because Rocky did really well on that. And then they would take the top comics and go on a national tour. You're living like that bus life for like a year. And they would do all the cedars.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

I knew a cat that uh Jay London was one of the winners. He I think he did that. I did it. I uh I flew to New York and and auditioned, and I passed, and then I went to LA. I was in uh with my group, and then was I was one of like I think 32, and then the it was the the next pass would have been to get into the a house or whatever you and I was same thing, it's like man, I'm doing it, you know, competitively, just as human nature, you want to win, but also I hope I do not make it into this house. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:36

That's because then they see a different side of you.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Yeah, man. And I don't need anybody to see a different side of me. Just the one side is cool. You know who was in my group though? Um, oh man, what's the woman that created? Oh, I know her very, I forgot her name. Uh she's Nigerian. She created Bob, one of the co-creators of Bob La Hart's ABBA show. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 12:59

Uh I remember the show, but I don't remember. She was a stand-up.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Yeah, she's a stand-up, man. And I just work with uh she was in my group and Judy Schumer. Yeah, Judy Tenuda. Judy January was in my group. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 13:12

That's how does that was actually the hang. The hang was a good part of my experience with Last Comic Standing. Was we went out, the audition was in New York, it was at Gotham, and it was 30 comics. Everybody was there. Yeah. And like comics that you've seen, heard about, like kind of knew of, yeah, finally getting to meet. And then everybody after the audition went to a bar and it was like an afternoon hang.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

It was uh did we audition the same year?

SPEAKER_06 13:37

We may have been there, or we may have been a different day, so they did have like heats, and it but it was at Gotham.

SPEAKER_04 13:43

Yeah, and who judges that who judges last comment standing?

SPEAKER_06 13:48

Like, is it a it was producers at this time? It was an empty club, which that sucks. I mean, that's awkward. You walk out, you walk in Gotham Comedy Club, and there's three people sitting right in front of you, act, right? You're sitting behind your hear the person before you. I remember I remember the person before me was Miss Pat. Miss Pat. She is so funny. Yeah, she's funny. She had them going, and she's got a life story about, you know, I'm back there and they're like, so uh tell us about yourself. She's like, I've been shot three times. I got hit by a bus, like I hit by a car. And I'm like, oh man, I used I used to sell.

SPEAKER_04 14:22

Oh man, this is I was an altar boy, and uh used to sell packaging.

SPEAKER_06 14:26

Yeah, you've got to have a backstory in some way. They wanna they want to put you in in a box, you know. That's when I that's they're gonna cut the commercial right there. That was I gave them a good out right there. They're gonna put you in a box. You know what you can get a box of skincare. Jeez. But yeah, that was the uh the experience. It's not that fun doing doing that.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

And I'm gonna tell you this when I went to LA, you know who else was in my group? Amy Schumer. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. But when I went to LA, again, like you said, they're trying to get backstory, trying to get into your personal life. And I did, I had my mother and my sister come to the show, and I think they cut to him while I was horrible, man. And then Bill Bellamy was the uh Oh, is he the host then? Was the host. Bill Bellamy.

SPEAKER_04 15:12

I haven't known that man in a long time.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

Yeah, he was the host. And here's here's the the uh the the backhanded indictment with with with with black comedians sometimes, like Bill Bellamy said, Oh, this brother, this uh that bit was really uh it was really smart. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, really. Not funny, but made you think, made me think, my wife was on that goddamn show.

SPEAKER_06 15:41

That is a little bit that's funny that you can pick up on that. Yeah. There is always something you can see. Uh right.

SPEAKER_04 15:49

So you audition. I'm just always curious how these work. You audition, you go home, and then you find out who wins, or is there like a a grand event at the end?

SPEAKER_06 15:57

They had yeah, they called you. It was like and that was the one where they were kind of going around like you know, my son and going through the backstory. They call you just to hear more, and they're like, you know, we wanted to advance, we we want more about you, you know. Right.

SPEAKER_04 16:10

So who won that year? Do you remember?

SPEAKER_06 16:12

I forget. I forget. Tommy Jonaghan may have done well. Was that no? I think that was after. I think he had done well before. Yeah, I forget. After I wasn't, I just kind of probably didn't even watch it.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

A lot of those contest shows, though, man, sometimes it's not the person that wins that goes on. There's people that who who finished second or third or didn't even make the preliminaries who go on to have big careers, like Brad Garrett, he did um what was it, Star Search. He didn't win, but you know, yeah, you know, well it's interesting too.

SPEAKER_04 16:43

Like how many years ago that was for you, like pre social media being such a massive source of like getting out there and being seen. Like I don't even know if they do as many. Uh like I haven't heard of I know they do Last Comic Standing, JFL, that kind of stuff, but like back then that was like Oh, it was huge, and it was a game changer.

SPEAKER_06 17:01

It could really change your career. Right. They did keep you for a year and had a tour, and those were fun. That seemed like fun, although you hear in the back story or you know, behind the scenes about how brutal it was with the bus and all that.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Teege Hanley has changed my life. My skin has been amazing.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Uh, we're the number one men's skincare routine in America. When I got here, they go, uh, we're just waiting for the podcast guest. We know you're here for pictures. You were a model?

SPEAKER_04 17:30

Yeah, you guys, he's glowing. In fact, Apragazi was like, Your skin's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Just like I look forward to like, oh, I'm washing my face before I go to sleep. I think we haven't had any 40-year-olds on the podcast. And I said, I'm 50. And everyone goes, What? T Sh Hanley.

SPEAKER_06 17:44

It's the way we face the day. That always reminded me of those Bob and Tom. And by the way, I want to give a shout out to Bob Kavoyan who passed away. Did you guys you ever do Bob and Tom? I just did it. Yeah, I was like the week of. Yeah, well, Bob had been retired for a while. When I the first couple times I did it, Bob was there. And these guys did more for stand-up in a sense than a lot of shows. Yeah. They were based out of indie. If people don't know Bob and Tom, you probably do, because they were in about every market all over the country.

SPEAKER_03 18:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 18:12

And um, when I went to school uh in Dayton, Ohio, that's when I first kind of heard of them because I had buddies from Indianapolis. They brought their like albums. They would bring in, you know, they were like the huge morning show when morning radio mattered. They still are, yeah. And they did a lot of people.

SPEAKER_04 18:24

They helped me sell my indie sh my indie tickets.

SPEAKER_06 18:26

Um Bob passed away.

SPEAKER_04 18:27

Oh, you did it so you were yeah, I was just there, like through two two and a half weeks ago. He died a week later. I was in the studio with Tom and the crew. Man, um, yeah, they're huge. And they were great. Um love stand-up, they love music, like super interesting guy. Tom is the one that's still there, right? Bob was that.

SPEAKER_06 18:45

Tom Griswold, he's still there. He has a son that's a comic. Yeah, he's a stand-up funny dude. He's out here. He's in Chicago. Willie.

SPEAKER_04 18:52

Griswold, yeah. Griswold.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Willie Griswold.

SPEAKER_04 18:55

Yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Yeah. I've heard of him. I I know people, yeah, but I know.

SPEAKER_06 18:59

Sounds like a made-up name, but that's his.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

He does, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 19:01

Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to shout them out because I was I was I was in a Bob and Tom market this weekend. I was in uh Toledo, Ohio. Nice. Oh man, how'd that go? It was, you know, it was great, man. Glass City? That's what they call it. It is a glass city. I don't know. I uh you know, they must have made a bunch of glass there. I don't know. I don't see much. Broken glass? Yeah, broken glass. Boarded up city. Hey, no, it's their downtown has some potential. Like they have like the Mud Hen Stadium down there. Oh, yeah. Um, they have uh a hockey team that they love, the walleye. Is that an intimidating opponent? There you go. The walleye, such an agile, quick fish walleye on ice and an opponent. Yeah, it was uh it was a good time. I worked the funny bone there. Not a uh, you know, the live shows are fun. I'm I'm having a good time. And this is uh the last of my uh club work for a little bit until uh I got Syracuse in June. But um Do you sell merch, man?

SPEAKER_04 20:02

No, I do not merch. I don't. I give a I give stickers away. I don't sell them.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

Okay, but do sometimes people give you money in exchange for the they haven't yet.

SPEAKER_04 20:11

I probably are they scratching sniff? They they're um This smells funny.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:18

What's the point? I haven't. I feel like people are trying to get me to do so. How about you?

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Uh uh yeah. For years I was against it. Just I always felt like it was humiliating.

SPEAKER_04 20:30

You got like CDs or something later on?

SPEAKER_01 20:31

You're gonna well no, but then I said, well, when I started selling t-shirts. Yeah. And I was selling, but then it's like bringing boxes of, you know what I mean? Managing inventory. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Now I'm uh after the show, I'm I'm a manager of a department store. You know what I mean? I'm cobbling shoes. Yeah, you were pretty funny. What size? Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:54

Yeah, there's got I've thought about that too. The sizes of shirts and then standing in the line and having people, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 21:01

And sometimes if it's like if other people are selling, it to me looks a little tacky too. It becomes like a market, open market out in the lobby after the show. People are setting up like a little flea market.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Yeah, it's just it's like the hallways of Ford City Mall. Yeah, but I get it, old school, especially now.

SPEAKER_06 21:17

People, you know, gasping at what it is. People you know, that extra dough is huge. You ain't you can make a killing. I remember the first time I heard like people selling merch. Right. Like what? Like TR. T-shirts, DVDs. Yeah. At that time, people used to sell their DVD. Yeah. And he had like all these impressions that people loved his stuff. You know, he was he still is he's a great act. He's yeah, man.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Some cats would make more from the merch sales than they did from the gig.

SPEAKER_04 21:43

I've heard that. I there's a couple people in Chicago that do it a lot, or they'll ask, like, if they come to one of our shows, like, hey, can I bring merch? I'm like, yes.

SPEAKER_06 21:51

It helps if you have like 69 in it somehow, or some kind of sex or fart reference. Yeah, yeah. We're like move. They murdered nothing sells. More.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Yeah. I had a a t-shirt that that sold pretty well.

SPEAKER_04 22:04

It's just um was it like your face? What was on it?

SPEAKER_01 22:08

It was uh I had a slogan. I was a saying, you know. And it was uh yeah, saying, and then I had a my face on there as well. Um, and then you know, certain markets sold pretty well. Yeah, I thought it'd be great if you're like, no, it was just a nice shirt I sold. It was blue, it was just it was like I used to tell them. I'm selling shirts, just this one.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

I got them on Amazon. I would get a box of them.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

I did that one time. I came home with like a you know, you know, when you just buy a pack of white t-shirt, and I just selling shirt, I'm selling these. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:40

Bottled water.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Anything. Literally. When that first started happening, like you said, there was this cat years ago, James Gregory. I never forget this. Oh, yeah, yeah. You remember? Okay. Yeah. And this is the first time I ever saw anybody selling merch. I don't know. He's doing his act, and and he kept bringing back this callback. Could be a law, I don't know. So and so and so and so and so-and-so. Could be a law, I don't know. Said that about 18 trillion times in his act. Then at the end of the set, hey, there's a, you know, you heard me say, could be a law, huh? I got these t-shirts. So his whole act was basically a commercial for his merch.

SPEAKER_04 23:17

That's what happens. You become too comfortable. Comfortable when people do that at the end of a show and they're like, Thanks so much, and then they talk about their merch.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:25

When the checks are coming, I'm like, God, that's a brutal way to end a show.

SPEAKER_06 23:28

The best is when they have I like watching that. But like either everyone tries to have their own special merch pitch, you know, and it's it becomes like this an art form, merch pitch, you know. Right. But it was a great one. Mike Toomey always had a great one with his CD. He's always recommended this one. I myself had like a thousand of these. Yeah. You know, that was like always. The best is when people have multiple t-shirts, though, because they'll like they're like hanging it up and then like over their shoulder.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

If you like this one, another shirt.

SPEAKER_06 24:00

Yeah, like this is yeah, but then you start tying the show's success to what you sell after it. Yeah, you know, because I had there were times though where I sold a shirt, but I also was like, I just can't stand this. And then if you don't sell a bond, you're like, then that show wouldn't like that's a long walk back to the car with all your I didn't sell anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. But people sell uh koozies is a big one. I think those move and they're light, but yeah, stickers, you should sell it. Sell it for a buck or something.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

Just you know, like uh Larry Reeb sells, I think um it was either a bumper sticker. No, it was a uh what do you call it when you hang on on the hotel door, the uh do not disturb sock. It's like a sock on the door. Or a shoe. A shoe. Depending on the night it's going. You know what I mean? But it his uh uh do not disturb anyway, and he would just say, give what you want to give. So people would just you know, either a dollar, five dollars, some people twenty bucks, whatever. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:05

I just I don't know if I have the like you said, the bandwidth to like have that transaction. I would need like like if your kids were at like one of your shows at Chicago Theater, you could like do it, have them you need like a kid to do it, like to make it like Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

Yeah, exactly. You need someone behind that. A kid that you'll be able to find after the show.

SPEAKER_04 25:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Yeah, remember that kid.

SPEAKER_04 25:25

I don't buy when you when you guys go to like concerts or anything. Do you buy merch? Like, are you do you have like t-shirts of the shows you've been to? I've never been like a merch buyer. I've never been asking.

SPEAKER_06 25:35

So yeah, I never if I go to uh I'm trying to think you've seen the merch lines at like a Rolling Stones.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

Dave Matthews t-shirts cost a hundred bucks, and then they're wearing it at the show.

SPEAKER_04 25:47

It's like Dave Matthews 2007 like Tweeter Center. I'm like, I would never buy that.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

Especially Dave Matthews, you'd want to keep that to yourself.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

Or sorry, or yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Don't tell anybody I was at a Dave Matthews. Yeah. Yeah. I got dumped on by Dave Matthews tour bus.

SPEAKER_04 26:05

Yes, yeah, that's right. In the river.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

That was a moment. Yeah, Dave Matthews is the shit.

SPEAKER_04 26:11

That would be a good merch. Yeah. Like for someone else to sell.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I I bet if I'm I'm sure you could because like they always say, if people like you, they want to take something, a piece of your memorabilia, you know.

SPEAKER_06 26:25

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SPEAKER_04 27:52

In a few years, you're in like Holy Redeemer Jim, and this guy's trolling you. So I called him.

SPEAKER_06 27:57

Yeah. I called him. I'm like, dude, what is going on? And also like called like the lead official, like, what's going on? Like, if some dad is a real estate agent, because I had this during a game this year, too. I said something about like there were like too many kids on the floor. There was a maybe there was like a flagrant foul or something. I I I said something, and the ref yelled from uh across the side, like, we don't need any comedy from you. We don't need any, or like a comedy reference, like making fun of I'm like, dude, if the other coach is like a uh a cop or like you know a real estate agent, it's gonna be a comedy. We don't need this in an open house, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

No one wants to see upstairs, okay? Right, right. Overbe copy like we don't need you calling the shots, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 28:42

Yeah, I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_04 28:44

I was like that's crossing the line.

SPEAKER_06 28:46

Yeah, so then I wouldn't call him and it it was not a pleasant conversation after a while. Is he like a neighborhood guy? He wanted to have like a fight. He's like, dude, you you know, uh, you know, Danny, let's line up a charitable boxing. You'll sell some tickets. Let's go. Well then, okay, buddy. He's like 60 something. He's old. 70. 70. I'm almost 60. I gotta up my references. This guy's almost 85.

SPEAKER_04 29:14

This guy's 112. He wants to have like a fight night that's so.

SPEAKER_01 29:20

Oh, you should do it, but you should clock that old. Yeah, but I got nothing. Oh, geezer clocking.

SPEAKER_06 29:26

Like an old school golden gloves.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Especially if he recommended a boxing match.

SPEAKER_06 29:32

I would have to win by decision. Just run them. This is how I did it with Dempsey. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:39

Like I'm more of a thumb war guy. What a what a wacko.

SPEAKER_06 29:42

Yeah, so then we have it out on the phone.

SPEAKER_03 29:46

Next day.

SPEAKER_06 29:47

Another clip. This guy sucks. Why is he in my seat? Like, maybe because you're watching my stuff all the time.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Oh man. Trying to like that's like that age. Yeah. You remember years and years ago, this is the NBA. This ref was known for being real prickly, and he teed up somebody who was sitting on the bench and he just teed him up for staring at him.

SPEAKER_03 30:12

You remember that? Tim Duncan.

SPEAKER_01 30:14

It was teed up Tim Duncan. Is it Dick Pavetta or uh I think so? And he was like way at the other end of the court.

SPEAKER_04 30:21

Does he have any relatives? Yeah, yeah. Does he have any relatives in Evergreen Park? It sounds like.

SPEAKER_06 30:26

I think that dude's brother was a major league ump, Joey Crawford. I think his brother was uh like it's like what was going on in that course.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Oh, he wasn't the one that dropped dead on the on the field, was he? Oh, was he? Jerry Crawford, yeah, Joey and Jerry Crawford. Joey and Jerry Crawford. Remember that the ump years ago that was uh during the game was walking and just he was huge and just peeled over. Oh, really? Yeah, man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 30:49

You go someone took the clicker out of his pocket, was like, finish him out. Remember those ump clickers you have? You're like, those umps were big. We they there was a time that was a uh Joe West, and uh you know, you see a ground ball of like get out of the way. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

What happened to that? What happened to big umps? Yeah, what happened to big umps?

SPEAKER_04 31:21

Oh, Zembik, big big O.

SPEAKER_06 31:23

Big O. Yeah, there you go. So anyway, I uh that might be one of my upcoming appearances. I might be fighting at what happens.

SPEAKER_04 31:31

Dude, we could sell so much merch. I know. Think about it.

SPEAKER_06 31:36

Right. Could we attise your sponsor of that? Right. Sponsor the fight? We'll put a in the ring. A fight night. In between rounds, I'm getting moisturized in the corner. You turn it up. He's in the corner. I like to be sided.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

That's right.

SPEAKER_06 31:52

We'll do like a black eye, but not with this special eye.

SPEAKER_04 31:58

Oh my god. Yeah.

unknown 32:00

Man.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

We'll see, man. Oh, that would be good, Bob. Sell some merch. I I uh I I uh what is it? I made a ref take time out.

SPEAKER_06 32:11

Man. Now I gotta next season I'll be going in these games, and what do I do? Like, he's out there. I'm supposed to think that I'm gonna get a fair shake when he's yeah, right hating, like bull online bullying me. I know. Oh my goodness. If you're watching right now, yeah. Oh, I'm in uh I've clicked around on this guy. I know his his his daughter is uh also online. That's when you start thinking, like, oh, I'm gonna comment on like uh one someone in your family's post. Yeah, you know, like did you know your dad?

SPEAKER_04 32:44

Well, I was thinking about that when is typing stuff on my right, and I'm sure her daughter his daughter would be mortified. I think about that when everyone anyone's wacky on the internet, like what if your daughter saw this, or your sister or your wife?

SPEAKER_01 32:58

Like Yeah. You know, years and years and years ago before I knew how the internet actually worked, and that people actually read things that you posted and connected it with you, I inadvertently said something about a friend of mine's child. But it wasn't it was a benign comment to me, but she got very upset. And I was like, Yeah, of course she did.

SPEAKER_04 33:21

It was uh Where did who did you think could see it?

SPEAKER_01 33:24

That's the thing, though. Did you accidentally I'm I'm I'm detached from reality. I didn't think Welcome to Earth. Yeah. I just typed something in, I didn't it just didn't it didn't even cross my mind that it was real, it didn't seem real to me. It doesn't it it does now, but you know but she had taken this person had taken their child to a visit a Santa and the child was horrif terrified like some kids are yeah when we see crying and I just said some I think why do people always think sitting a kid in some stranger's lap is a good idea? Something like that.

SPEAKER_04 33:59

Oh my god, you're like people they still do that. Yeah, like I'm always like, was this your first day on the internet?

SPEAKER_01 34:05

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:06

That was you. How many years like last year?

SPEAKER_01 34:08

That was that was that was uh about an hour ago. But I've I've I've learned my lesson since then. No, that was years ago. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 34:16

But no, I get it. The concept of like not realizing the ramifications of someone reading that.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Yeah, I don't know why I didn't think it would I don't know what I was saying.

SPEAKER_06 34:25

That's not that bad. Yeah, you mentioned being detached from reality, which I think uh, you know, you know, all kidding aside, like there is some stuff going on out there that you almost are like double taking constantly. Like, what is going on in our world? Yeah. And I've been following this scientist story. Have you guys been following this at all? A little bit. These scientists have go have gone through.

SPEAKER_04 34:46

I just saw this very disturbing.

SPEAKER_06 34:48

Right?

SPEAKER_04 34:49

I couldn't even get through all the swipes of them because I was like on a plane. I'm like, oh my god, there's more.

SPEAKER_06 34:53

My daughter is about to start her science project. She was telling me, I was like, you better keep that, you better be low-key. You ain't kidding. Yeah, yeah. You better keep it. You're telling people you're a researcher.

SPEAKER_01 35:02

You ain't kidding, brother. Like whole metric.

SPEAKER_06 35:05

They're all in the same field. They all made those fake volcanoes. Yeah, what was all done? All of them did that. Right. Volcano Project. Yeah, yeah. All eleven. So they're all involved in UFO stuff. Yes. Which has just been admitted now. People. I broke this to my son the other day, and I'm I maybe should have thought it through before. I was like, yeah, they are there are UFOs.

SPEAKER_04 35:30

They like a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_06 35:32

They the government has now come out and said it. Yeah. And we're just like, eh, all right, that's we just they they're coming here, they're way far far along. But anyway, they're all connected to this. Yeah. UFO, anti-gravitational stuff. I don't even fully comprehend. Yeah. You know, went to Catholic school.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

Which uh Catholics don't believe in gravity.

unknown 35:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 36:01

They're starting to.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 36:02

This Southside guy is promoting it.

SPEAKER_04 36:05

So they're all connected to UFOs. I was reading this yesterday, I'm trying to remember. And a few have been like confirmed dead through like self-inflicted gunshot wounds, and then the rest are like missing.

SPEAKER_06 36:14

Yes. Right. And the ones that committed suicide, supposedly, there are a lot of people around them saying there's no way. Right, right. Some of them had even documented, like, if something has to be, I I am not depressed, I am not suicidal. Right. I am, you know.

SPEAKER_01 36:28

The same way Jeffrey Epstein committed to or Marilyn Monroe.

SPEAKER_06 36:33

I think their hypothesis was someone's going to kill me. So here's what I'm going to say before. Yeah, man. It sounds like Soviet stuff to me. Like behind the scenes, like Russia, like spy stuff. Is someone leaking these people's names and their information? Right. Someone who has access inside is saying, hey, you gotta, you know, this is just guys on to something.

SPEAKER_01 36:58

But what's the purpose? If if if these people are being murdered, why? What's the end game? It to they know something.

SPEAKER_06 37:05

They know too much. Right. There's a whole theory that something huge is gonna happen in the next few years. I hope so. I'm not a conspiracy theory person, but the you can slide down a rabbit hole if you look into this scientist story quickly. Yeah and you talk about the whole detached reality, that's what maybe think of it. Yeah. You're looking for something to grasp onto, but meanwhile, it just keeps happening every couple months. You know?

SPEAKER_04 37:31

Yeah, that's scary.

SPEAKER_06 37:33

Yeah, it is strange. But my daughter is doing a science project, and uh, those are always like and and they're jamming it in at the end of the year. I was gonna say, yeah. Isn't this usually like more of a focus? Do you remember doing the like that was a stressful time. Doing a science project.

SPEAKER_04 37:47

Yeah, end of the year is not supposed to be for big projects.

SPEAKER_06 37:49

Were you good at you get like a good idea? Science is not my thing. No.

SPEAKER_04 37:53

We also went to Catholic school. Um no, math and science, anything, anything you know, that's you remember having to present to the had abbreviations for things, like the the charts and all the chemicals. Um yeah, we did we did like a science show in Memorial Hall where you would everyone did something and then yeah, I guess there were judges. Yeah, they were like eighth graders and put up a a like a the three-board presentation thing, and then parents could come and look at it.

SPEAKER_06 38:21

I didn't terrify I don't know. You met my buddy. I did like a marble that like dropped out of a the guy I used to go around the neighborhood with with the remote worked on the science for crickets, we were doing crickets and mazes. Yes. Our poster board said amazing crickets, and we were like putting them in maze, and we were timing them a maze. We built a maze, and they're jumping. Bobby started taking bets. Then he's like, dude, I got an idea. I got an idea. You took the crickets and you just freed them outside. It's like, we'll just make it up. Let's see where they were. We made up our data, we made it up, and the judges were like around the corner, and I'm looking at the time on our poster board, and we would have like three minutes, 72 seconds. Three, like we had we made up times that don't even exist. I'm like, no, that's four minutes, 12 seconds.

SPEAKER_03 39:18

Five minutes, 92 seconds.

SPEAKER_06 39:20

Oh my god. St. Kendrick's finest. Third place. It was the worst grade you could get. Third place. But we like charmed the judges to a point where we walked out of there. Bobby and I were like, man, what if we go downstate? We gotta get some more crickets.

SPEAKER_04 39:34

We gotta go get those crickets back. We gotta go get our crickets back. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

We released crickets into the wild until we studied them. We were ahead of our time.

SPEAKER_04 39:44

Well, you and Bobby are not gonna be murdered for anything that you're uncovering. That's for sure.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

I think we're safe. Uh the Russians want to keep Bobby alive to destroy the rest of society.

SPEAKER_06 39:54

Yeah. We're gonna be good. The uh I hope she she figures this out. We got a lot coming up. It's gonna be May, guys. End of April here. Graduations are coming up, proms, communions, all this stuff. Spring is here. We hear the April showers right now. It's a monsoon out there. But um before we get out of here, what's going on with you guys? Let's go with uh Maggie first. You got anything coming up? You got Zany's in May.

SPEAKER_04 40:16

Yeah, Zany's in May, but they're sold out. Uh I've got some tickets to the 915 show on the 20th. Uh I'm in Milwaukee, Milwaukee Improv.

SPEAKER_06 40:25

Uh I grabbed tickets to see Maggie at Zany's. That will sell out for sure. And then you got Milwaukee coming up.

SPEAKER_04 40:30

Yep, Milwaukee Improv um this Wednesday, the 29th. I've got a few tickets left.

SPEAKER_06 40:34

Oh, awesome. Oh, wow. Nice. Hey.

SPEAKER_04 40:37

Just doing a little Midwest tour. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

Yeah. How about you, DK? Uh, I'm at the Laugh Factory. Uh, Friday, Saturday. What are those dates? I don't know. I'll be there. Three shows, Friday, three shows, Saturday, uh, quitting show business Sunday.

SPEAKER_06 40:58

And everyone is here. Everyone here is on the socials. Make sure you connect with us there. Um, and we'll be posting this show soon. And guys, go back and check out some of the other episodes. We have these evergreen episodes. I really like talking to Bill Rancick. I had him here a few uh couple episodes. And then Adam was a lot of fun last week. Adam Gilbert. Um, so go back, check those out. Make sure you download and subscribe. And we love a review. We'd love to get a review. This is my merch pitch right here. I'd I'd like to get a review. Yeah. I want to sell some product too. Support Tish Hanley. Buy some stuff. Use that code, that backslash Pat. Let's get it moving here. There you go. Keep the show rolling. Yeah. All right, you guys. Thank you for tuning in. Have a great week.

SPEAKER_05 41:39

The Pat McGann Show is brought to you by the Pat McGann Show team. Producer Paula Thornton. Showrunner Tom Bambera. Audio engineer Tommy Grant. Video production Eddie Perez. Video and audio editor, Madeline Curlis. Organic content manager, George Master. Recorded at Tiege Hanley Studios in Chicago, Illinois.